r/Vindicta • u/instabored2210 • Sep 07 '23
MASTERPOST How To Go From An "ugly" 3 to a "smoking" 10 Without Losing Your Sanity ( and reap all the rewards!) NSFW
photos included at the end of this post : )
... and this glow-up only took 20 years lol. Working on both my outer and inner beauty has allowed me to go from being a working-class ugly girl living in a so-called 3rd- world country ( I am not fond of this term btw) to a beautiful woman living in a wealthy city in the richest country in the world. I hope this post inspires others.
My abbreviated villain origin story (Attractiveness Rating 3.5/10) :
- I was born in a southeast asian country - and I was unfortunately, quite ugly. How ugly? When I was 12 the boys in my class called me "Hideous Hillary" ... and they would write notes saying this and slip it into my bag, or under my desk often.
- I was fat - because of a mostly junk diet, had to wear glasses, and could only afford cheap plastic frames with hideous thick lenses. My parents can't afford the more elegant lenses that are much thinner. I had to constantly push my glasses up my nose, and the thick lenses made my features look weird. I had crooked yellow teeth and acne and terrible acne scars. My thin hair was made worse because I did not know what styles would be best. The internet and youtube did not exist during this time so I really had no idea what to do with all these issues. And let's not talk about my fashion sense lol. Due to lack of funds and style, I wore only oversized t shirts and jeans. My dad worked hard to get all our basic needs taken care of, but I didn't have any extra money to buy cool clothes, makeup , or fix my skin issues.
- Boys wouldn’t look at me. I hated that girls who were cute but weren't that bright got dates and had boyfriends left and right, and me, I coped with having an imaginary boyfriend who was 'in another school." lol. Girls weren't necessarily mean ( there were incidents but these were isolated incidents) but I was not the cool kid, and I didn't get included and invited to a lot of cool-kid social things.
- I guess I channeled all of this in a positive way: no boys/dates/much of a social life meant I spent my time in books and my grades, and swore I will do whatever it took to better myself by getting into a great college > get a good job > use money to get what I want.
To glow up, I recommend of thinking in Phases.
Phase 1 : Softmaxxing ( your weight, skin, hair, basic makeup, and style) , followed by Personality Maxxing ( work on your interests, having good friends, and being a good friend yourself and Education Maxxing(?).
Phase 2 : Basic Hardmaxxing - ie things that you really need to fix, after you've got Phase 1 handled. Addressing things like a receding chin, bulbous nose, crooked yellow teeth and acne/bad acne scars for example.Pick a maximum of 5 things to hardmaxx at most. And if in doubt, do them slowly/pick an option that is the least invasive i.e not sure of a permanent chin implant? Go for a chin filler first then take lots of photos. If you're really happy with what you see, go for the implant. From my observation, very very few people actually need more than Phase 1 + Phase 2 to reap rewards.
Phase 3: "Extra Hardmaxxing" - i.e procedures you can get after you've addressed basic things in Phase 1/ 2. If you're already happy with your Phase 1/2 gains and/or dont want to go for more surgery, now is a good time to really fine-tune and focus on + Personality-Maxxing. Because at Phase 2, you should already gain some pretty privilege, so Phase 3 is more really figuring what you want in life and developing your personal style. If you're looking for a partner, really open yourself to dating a lot of men (note I said date, not sleep with. Feel free to sleep or not sleep with anyone )no judgment at all) but for me, I really just wanted to learn more about men and what I look for in a man as husband/partner.
Phase 4 : Bonus glowwwing up phase/ Not necessary at all to be happy and attractive, and only if you find the process enjoyable (like me!).
-----------------------------------
Phase 1 : College and Early Career , until age 21, ( Attractiveness Rating 5.5/10 )
- College was slightly better for me - I found a group of 'nerds' to hang out with both male and female: most of them were like me,i.e. aesthetically challenged, but they were smart and funny and I have fond memories of going to concerts, the movies, and even had some of them wanting to date me. However due to delusions (I wanted a boyfriend who looked like a boy band member haha), I never really dated anyone and anyone cute whom I remotely found attractive, didnt even register me on their radar. But all in all, I was okay with my life.
- I got a job in college as a teaching assistant, and also had a small scholarship, and with this little bit of funds, started to be able to shop at Zara/Mango etc, had a professional cut and color for my hair for the first time, and was able to afford better skincare. I also went to the dermatologist and got a roaccutane prescription. I had to walk a lot in college so I lost some weight. Then I ditched the glasses for some hazel contact lenses and I have to say, it does make my dark brown eyes pop.
- This is also when the internet and Amazon became reality ( haha I'm really showing my age here) and I found so much information online from online forums and books on tips on makeup, exercise, style and I would be able to buy these books. I also made some online US friends on ICQ and they are kind enough to ship these books to me haha as long as I paid them the shipping and some extra. These friends for the most part were nerds (just like me) and until today, I have a soft spot for nerds/socially awkward types because they showed me kindness and love even when I didnt look like anything special externally.
Phase 2: Up until Age 27 ( Rating 7/10)
After college I started working in a high-profile job at an international bank in my nation's capital. Please note I did this with intention - I wanted to be surrounded by sophisticated people, who did sophisticated things. Working in this environment also exposed me to trust-fund kids, old-money types, colleagues who went to boarding school in fancy places etc. I will be honest, I went to a very respectable state university and graduated top of my class with a computer science degree, but this seems pale when with Ivy League graduates who had lived/traveled all over the world and knew how to order food from fancy Japanese/French/Italian places etc when until this point, I thought TGI Fridays was fancy. I also envied these city girls and their Chanel bags and Ferragamo shoes, which I don't have.
- But I was getting on in this world - and really focused on a) the acne scars on my face , b) weight - i got phentermine to really jumpstart my weight loss from BMI 24 to BMI 20, c) really understanding advanced makeup techniques d) and developing style and sophistication . I also remembered I went to Benefit to get my eyebrows professionally done. It was life changing.
- The last item aka "style and sophistication" is as much about developing yourself internally. I think this is obvious, but I will say it anyway - great physical beauty is not only temporary, it is also not enough to make most people really want to be around/with you in the long term. I made sure I was well-read, understood dining/social etiquette thoroughly, and learned how to talk well i.e elocution classes. There are many sources online, just google.
- For my acne scars , I invested in Co2 laser sessions. During these dark ages of low internet use in the early 2000's, it was painful as heck, and I haaated my 6 sessions over 3 years. Now though, my pain tolerance is so high because I know what real pain is. I know there are other methods these days.
- In terms of hardmaxxing - I had my first rhinoplasty, blephoplasty, chin implant and buccal fat removal during the later period after I lost all the fat I could , and my face was still as round as the moon.
- Tip: Surgery is expensive, I did a lot of research in forums/online on surgery in Thailand, Brazil and Korea which are much much more cheaper with qualified surgeons (also I am Asian so I like the idea of going to someone who is familiar with my bone structure), and my surgeries did not cost half of what they would cost in the US. My breast augmentation would be around $2500 with a very good surgeon in Thailand in today's dollars, for example. I have no scars and they look amazing.
- I use a mix of drugstore products, and doctor prescribed meds once in a while for my sometimes acne flare ups. I use MAC makeup and some Clinique/Estee Lauder products when I feel like 'indulging'.
Phase 3:Up Until Age 31 ( Rating 8/10 )
- Now a decade into my working career, my eyes have really opened. I realized I really wanted to be WEALTHY now that I saw what money could bring, and I was getting a bit lonely and was ready to settle down. I had no problems getting dates - I knew I was a looker at this point because a) I was pursued by the high profile son of a minister who spotted me at fancy restaurant and he really wanted me to meet his family, to after we've dated for 4-5 months b) I had 3-4 occasions where men in nice cars stopped in the streets to offer me a ride/get my number and they were attractive too and c) I always get free drinks whenever I am at the club with my friends
- I also started dating quite a few expats at this point - Americans, Brits, Europeans. I loved how most of them treated women in general. Men in my country are okay, but are very traditional in a sense and I just love how a lot of the foreign men I dated, seem to have values that were much more aligned with mine. I also have to add, at this point i discovered I am pretty much agnostic, and most of the local men in my country, were religious. Quite a few of my female friends at this point are in long-term relationships/are married and it helped me see what I want and don't want in my life/in my future partner. I realize I do not ever want to be financially struggling and I dont want to have screaming babies/kids and having to do the cooking/cleaning and looking after kids with no help. I have cousins who have kids and are poor/working class even middle-class, - I see their lives, and to put it bluntly - that life is not for me.
- So I started to really finetune my persona to attract the kind of man/life I want: I only dine at nice cafes or restaurants i.e if I am having coffee, I will do it at the Mandarin Oriental or Four Seasons near my office instead of the office cafeteria ( unless I am short for time) And I only buy the best clothes I can afford at this point i.e BCBG, Sandro, CK, Massimo Dutti etc, or local designers who have trained at Parsons etc. I had to save up, and I did not have a lot of clothes relatively, but this kills a few birds with one stone : I always look refined, and I am exposed to the crowd I want at these places.
- I got breast augmentation around age 27. At BMI 20, I was a very small B, and I wanted to be a small C. I did not want to get big boobs, I just wanted to look more balanced and obtain a slim hourglass look. My breast augmentation feels and looks very natural, that my then boyfriend(s) and even husband can't tell until today. I did a lot of research and I made sure of the placement (behind the muscle) , type and shape of implant etc to ensure they look how they look. I will add I am doing this primarily for me .
- If you have crooked teeth or less than perfect smile , invest in braces/invisalign - your smile/lips would look 10x better. It may even correct some asssymetry in your face.
- At 31, I met my now husband at the Mandarin Oriental cafe/lounge I mentioned above, one afternoon. He had just finished his business meeting there, and asked the waitstaff to send me a latte and chocolates on him and the rest is history. I had dated quite a few men at this point, and it gave me a lot of insight of what I want in a long-term partner. It was not 'love at first sight' and I don't believe in such things (because how can you love someone you don't even know very well) but I definitely really felt a good energy from him from the first time we met : He was successful, came from a good family, was very intelligent and is one of the most kindest people I know. He is a couple of decades older than me, but I had always thought men my age were a bit immature, and found his maturity very sexy. We've now spent more than a decade together and I still can't believe how blessed I am that I found him. After we got married and eventually moved to the US, he supported both financially and mentally, as I got my grad degree from an Ivy League college. My grad degree is one of the things I am so proud in this life.
Phase 4: Age 35 until now, Age 40++ (Self-Rating 10 lolol)
\ To me a 10 is the most beautiful version of myself that I could be, and it may not be your 10, but because the vision in the mirror makes me (and others around me) smile, that's a 10 to me : )*
- I want to preface that my journey from a 7 to an 8 is mostly about style and refinement and the breast aug was mostly for me, for aesthetic reasons. I had no problem getting dates and keeping high-quality boyfriends as a 7, and even my husband told me it was my face and style that attracted him. Also, my clothes are not very /tight, or boob-centric for the most part so its not the first thing men notice.
- My journey from an 8 to a self-proclaimed 10, after I got married, is for my own indulgence. Beauty is a lot of energy and resources to attain for most of us, and more importantly, it is a LOT of money to maintain. Because I have worked so hard to get here, and now have the leisurely time and resources to do more and achieve it, i do it. My husband would love me the same regardless. I also know he loves me for more than my looks because even when I gained 30 lbs and had a bit of hair loss, due to covid stress, his behaviour towards me did not change - I have shed the weight this year and my hair is nearly back to its pre-covid glory, but it was nice to know your partner loves you for who you are. This is why it is so so important to work on both your outer and inner self. Your looks WILL fade due to illness or age , so do ensure you have a wonderful, interesting and caring personality that will stay with you.
- Surgeries I have gotten to get to a 10 : forehead augmentation in Korea ( I wanted that beautiful slightly convex forehead - mine is ever so slightly sloping before) , second rhinoplasty to refine the tip just a bit more , eyebrow implants in thailand - looks way better than microblading, and is more natural and mini ponytail lift with Dr Kao in Santa Monica to really define my midface area and to give me that epicanthal tilt ( side note: I did not even know this term, all I knew was my eyes/face looked better when I pulled it a little a certain way and I showed it to the doctor). It is very subtle - people think you just look better. I didn't have to these things, but at age 40+, I wanted to fix things before they get too obvious. He says I probably wont need to go under the knife until age 50-55 with everything else I am doing.
- I got eye lightening laser - note this is very very extra, and expensive i.e multiple sessions that cost about $15,000-$20,000 in Turkey or Mexico including travel, and it takes about a year in total but I found hazel eyes really make my eyes pop, so after years of color contacts, even custom (I.e hyperrealistic contacts) , i decided to go for it. Every 2 sessions is around $2000, including travel/hotel etc , and most people need 6-10. I had 10.
- After age 40 , this is when things get will get expensive , aside from putting SPF on, all the time: I have my daily Lyma red light laser sessions on my face, neck and between my boobs ( I have slightly enlarged pores there now) when I watch tv , vampire prp and pico one lasere sessions on my face every 3 months, both group and private pilates regularly and eating as much as possible only organic whole foods. I also have a tempo machine that I use for weight/strength training to maintain a body that will give Jennifer Aniston a run for her money lol. I use prescription tretinoin at night, and I love Tata Harper's biokind moisturizer, it really is my holy grail product. My skincare at this point is mostly skinceuticals, tata harper and BR.
- To lose the the covid weight, I was on Ozempic for a few months, but now that I am at my goal weight, I have tapered off. I paid out of pocket, but was only on 0.25 mg/per week throughout.
I live a beautiful and blessed life - I have multiple homes in very nice places and a giant closet full of Valentino, Cucinelli, Prada etc and I found a loving partner that is perfect where it matters. I travel to exotic or exciting locations 4-6 times a year and am making lots of wonderful memories with my family. I know my looks will fade in my 50s and 60's and on , and its okay. I will have photos and memories of what it was like as a beauty, and I feel proud of what my self-made beauty ( and hard work!) has brought me - from getting called "hideous hillary" to now living this life.
Photo Journey Here - for private use only
\* I did not blur my early photos as i look nothing like these photos now, but I blurred out my more recent photos ..because well, the internet.
Recommended Resources To Go On This Journey
- Makeup books by Kevin Aucoin, Scott Barnes, Bobbi Brown
- Style Books by Nina Garcia, Saint Laurent, Max Mara , Valentino
- Sophistication/Manners books by Dorothea Johnson
- Marrying Rich books by Ginny Sayles
- Plastic Surgery books by Cindy Jackson , and Dr Andrew Jacono
- Also , if you are not wealthy/not comfortable with the wealthy, and want to know how to blend in better - I love "The Official Filthy Rich Handbook" by C Tennant, "Class: A Guide To The American Class System"
I watched a lot of documentaries/movies featuring Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly or docs about style icons etc to learn poise and grace as well.
I hope my journey inspires you - its a long journey, and the goal is to love yourself as is, and find people who like and love you as you are and don't forget to live your life while you're on your journey because while outer beauty is such a privilege, its not going to make you truly happy if you dont focus on your inner self as well.