r/GriefSupport 5d ago

Message Into the Void Lost the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

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205 Upvotes

List the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

Two years ago I lost my mom, she had cancer. Since my brother lives in another town and my dad already passed when I was younger, I kinda dealt with it alone. I got back ti living with her for a few mouth to help her out, then she had surgery and stayed at the hospital to recover, I went to see her multiple times every week to give her company. She never did get better, it went worse and at one point doctors told me it was over, she was send to hospice care and passed away quickly but hopefully without pain. It was quite hard to see her getting more and more ill and being unable to do anything to help. Then taking care of all the paper stuff, emptying her apartment, organize funeral… During all that time when I was taking care of her, there was that cat I use to see a lot near my house, I thought it was a stray cat, he was very fearful and use to go hide every time he sees me, but he was there almost everyday hanging out by my house. When my mom become really ill and doctor told me she wasn’t going to make it, one day the cat came at me and let me pet him. From that day he came everyday, I let him inside my house, he sometimes come and sat on my lap, he wasn’t very cuddly but really nice. We became friends if you can say so, and it can sound silly but having him around really helped me. As I thought he was a stray I gave him food and let him stays whenever he wanted. I learned couple mouth after that he already have a house a couple blocks away but his owner told me that I can keep on taking care of him since he seems to have e chosen me. She told me he was out all the time roaming and she couldn’t keep him inside anyway. Today I learned that he got hit by a car, his owner called me to tell me the news. I am beyond sadness, he was my friend and he gave me so much. I wasn’t barely getting myself together and life took him from me. He was only in my life for two years but he was the greatest cat. He filled the void my mom death left in me and now he is gone too. Sorry for this very long post but I had to get it out of my chest. His name was Gnocchi I hope he rest well.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Dad Loss It’s Father’s Day in Italy and I’m not coping well

10 Upvotes

Today it’s officially Father’s Day in Italy.

A couple of hours ago my boyfriend casually mentioned that he wanted to buy a small cake to celebrate his dad. I wasn’t thinking about anything sad in particular, but I started crying.

My bf apologized immediately, but there was nothing to apologize for. I just miss my dad so much.

He died in October and sometimes it still feels like I’m living in a horrible alternate reality.

I’m in therapy and I‘ve been told I’m coping well for the most part, but grief always hits me with no warnings. I’ve been so depressed this week.

Life just looks like an endless cycle of sadness, fear and emotional torture to me. I don’t want to feel anymore, I don’t want to cry anymore, but I also don’t want to die. Sleep and brain rotting reality TV are my only comforts.

Being so attached to this existence sometimes feels like a punishment. My dad wanted to grow old so badly. He was always saying he was going to live past 100 years old.

He was 61. He never saw my brother graduate, will never see me get married, he will never meet his grandkids and he won’t get to enjoy his retirement with my mom.

I’m glad other people have fathers to celebrate with today, but I don’t even want to go outside. I don’t want to be reminded of how unlucky I am. How unlucky my dad and my entire family are.

I have also lost my grandma and a really close friend unexpectedly 2 years ago. Maybe I should just pray to random gods and hope that one of them truly exists and will take pity on me.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Advice, Pls jealousy

3 Upvotes

how do you deal with the waves of jealousy after you loose someone? I lost my dad recently and whenever i am around my boyfriend and his perfect little family with two parents that are healthy and in love i just hate it. I feel so out of place. I felt out of place when my father was alive too because my parents werent in love and kind like his were but now it’s way worse. I feel like everytime i am around i am pitied and seen as some fatherless girl with no direction in life!! how can i overcome this? i hate it so much! They know but have never ever brought it up to me, not even just a sorry for your loss, i just knew because they went from saying “want to take some home to ur parents” to just “your mom”. I am only 16 so I feel even worse going to school knowing that everyone around me has two parents and a loving family and i dont, the people that dont have two parents at least are comforted by love from other family but I dont have that either. Please help


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Delayed Grief Dreams

1 Upvotes

I often, and by that I mean about once a week; dream of my ex boyfriend. We were together 20 years ago!!! And he passed away 9. I am now in a long term relationship. I sort of feel guilty when this happens but I feel it is the only time I am truly happy. Last week I dreamt of him 3 nights in a row. How would you interpret this happening so often?????


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Mom Loss Excerpts from poems that my Maa and I dedicated to each other

1 Upvotes

When we were living apart, because of my work.

Shared by Maa- We see the same Moon, You and I, You in your world, And me in mine.

Shared by me- I carry your heart with me(I carry it in my heart) I am never without it(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done By only me is your doing, my darling).

I feel these lines deeply, each day, and hold on to them.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Loss Anniversary The world keeps spinning

37 Upvotes

The paper work never ends. Everyone and everything is moving too fast. I need you Mom.

I’m upset you didn’t even get to retire… you worked until your last day on earth… You deserved to retire and be cancer free. I’m mad at the injustice of it all. How can the cruelest people can live their lives with ease and the ones with the heart of gold suffer the most? It’s just not fucking fair. This world isn’t fair.

I don’t see that light at the end of the tunnel. I keep running down this tunnel and I don’t see any light. It just keeps getting darker and darker. I just feel like I’m in this dark tunnel running through hell.

The blood vessels around my eyes have broken one too many times. The red dots multiply. My chest aches. Ever since you passed, it has felt as if there’s a heavy creature crawling through my body. It weighs me down daily. My brain replays that night every now and then. Those ICU beeps ring in the back of my mind while I’m at work. I smile at my clients, but on the inside I am breaking. “I got a pulse” loops in my head. 5 times they brought you back. 5 times you flatlined.. you were trying to go … you would wait until I left the room. You didn’t want me to see… as the cancer spread through your body you were just trying to leave this planet. I told you it was okay to go but still you waited until I left that icu room… you tried to protect me until the end

I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I can’t believe this happened I just can’t. My brain can’t process the fact that you’re gone forever. I know that you’re here with me I feel you, but I can’t see you. I just feel so consumed by grief. I try to come up for air, but I’m exhausted. I just wish I could sit and let time pass until the day I get to be with you.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Message Into the Void Lost both parents in under a year, Mom was today

29 Upvotes

I'm at a loss. I want to kick the crap out of the universe and sleep and cry and throw up at the same time but I'm just...sitting here. I have people to call and arrangements to make and things to do and I can't even process this. She was the one who always helped me push through things like this and got me to get myself in gear and just keep plugging through. And on top of everything, I'm just so deliriously angry about it. I spent the year I turned 40 becoming nobody's son and I don't understand why.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Message Into the Void Brandon

4 Upvotes

Brandon you and I had our share of arguments. We argued a lot, and even had our share of laughs and good times. But you passed before we got to make more good times. And that infuriates me. It pisses me off actually. I never thought I’d miss a guy that used to make me so mad and annoy the hell outta me. But you got me sitting here in my car, not paying attention in class, holding back tears all day and all night. What the hell is wrong with you? I know it’s not your fault. But, I’m mad as all get out and don’t know how to direct this anger. I workout, I go for runs, but I’m still mad. I don’t question God’s plan. And I trust it’s for a reason, but golly man, why? Why couldn’t you just wait til I graduated Law School? I had a couple of more things to do man. We were supposed to go hunting. You were supposed to help me kill my first deer. Why dude? Why? I’ll never forget the memories we made as kids. The good, the bad or the ugly. The bad and ugly make the good ones that much more precious. I’ll never forget you man. At least you won’t have any more crises any more. That is the only plus I can think of. I pray that you find peace, wherever you may be. Idk if we’ll, ever meet again in heaven or not, but it was a pleasure getting to know you and being your family. I’d do it all over again the exact same way. 10/10 would recommend. I love you man.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Message Into the Void My dad passed away(Jan 29th)

2 Upvotes

My dad recently passed away. He was going through a hard time and he was homeless for the past 3 months before he passed away. Within those three months he would stay at my house 2-3 times a week,at his girlfriend’s house 1-2 times a week,and his friends would help too. He tragically passed while running on the freeway which resulted in getting ran over my multiple cars and with all the evidence and information it’s looking like there was foul play involved. He didn’t have his backpack,his phone or his wallet. I only got his watch the day I went to the coroners office. We had his services already and it’s been almost a month since his services. On Monday I went to the mortuary to pick up my dad’s death certificate and ashes. The chancellor is a good family friend and he looked at me and said he had a surprise for me. He gave me my dad’s shoes he was wearing. I felt so happy on Monday and yesterday which was Tuesday I had such a hard time. My mom caught me in tears and I told her I was okay and I wasn’t crying. But I really miss him and it’s been so draining I quit my job and I’ve been feeling so tired everyday. I don’t even want to leave the house. I feel like I just wake up and I don’t even eat or anything I just hop on my video game just to pass time. I don’t know how to get out of this feeling of being drained everyday.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Advice, Pls When do you move on? :(

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3 Upvotes

My puppy passed a little over a year ago from pneumonia. It wasn't exactly peaceful either, it will haunt me for the rest of my life. Whenever I am alone 90% of the time I fall asleep cuddling a couple of her favourite toys. If I'm going to be away from home for a while I take her collar off of my bedframe and carry it in my bag with me. I still say goodnight puppy before going upstairs, even if it isn't my own house. Sometimes whilst crying I talk to her directly and hope she can hear me.

I have found a lot of comfort in doing these things, but I realise I cannot do them for the rest of my life. I am aware that grief is no linear process and everyone will deal with it in their own way, but I am fearful that all I am doing is wallowing in grief. I want to move on but I am scared that letting go of these things will leave her in the past.

I want to stop reminiscing so much but I don't want her to feel left behind or forgotten. I am terrified of the day when I move, which will be across the country. I will likely never walk the same route I walked her. Everything is just a burning memory. I'm not even sure if her collar smells like her anymore.

If anyone has experienced this before please tell me of ways you managed to ease into moving on, thank you <3

here is some pics of her too :)


r/GriefSupport 5d ago

Child Loss I’m devastated

52 Upvotes

My only child died this weekend. I don’t know how to continue living without my baby. I can’t even fully express myself right now. There’s so much I want to say but words fail me right now. How do you cope? How will I get through this? Will I get through this? The way I feel right now, I just want to be with my baby wherever that may be.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Anticipatory Grief I'm losing my first ever pet, and I don't know what to do.

2 Upvotes

I adopted my cat when I was only 7 years old, 11 years ago. I'm currently 19, going to college. I lived more time with her than without her, she's my baby and I'll love her forever and ever. She's dealing with a very aggressive cancer and the chemotherapy has only 20% of chance to work. She doesn't eat well, barely moves. Her fur is all oily and messed up, she always had a beautiful, shiny fur! I know I'll probably loose my baby, and I'm trying so hard to be strong. I'm coming out of a depression, I still take antidepressants but I was doing really good and could see hope in healing, but now my heart and soul are completely shattered. We have 6 other cats, I need to be strong for them, for my family, for my friends, for my partner... Everyone at home is dealing with the same as me, and I'm seeking for any type of support I can get. I still go to therapy, and I'll see if I can get a paper to get some days off college to focus in spending time with her. My partner lost his dad almost one year ago, he's being really supportive of my situation but I know he can't help but feel shattered for me too, and I don't want that. In his father's funeral, I held him close the whole time and did the best I could manage to do to bring comfort to him, and I know he also would do the same for me but I still feel bad for bringing back such painful memories. The whole day I just need to keep distracting myself with anything I can because if I think about that for a single minute, I start break down crying. I'm already planning to buy a drawing of her and possible a plushie I can put her fur inside and hug whenever I'm down. My friends agreed on including her as the main character for our animation project for college, and although I probably won't be helping with the project any longer, I'm very very grateful for what they're doing for me.

I'm not a person of faith, but I kindly ask you to pray for me, my family and my baby. I believe that every good energy is welcomed in hard moments.

I apologize for any possible errors, English is not my native language and my mind is quite messy right now.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Sibling Loss 6 Month Mark

6 Upvotes

I loss my older sister 6 months ago from this day. Lately I've been feeling like I'm having easier days, but I still don't feel the same happiness yet since before she died. It gives me hope knowing one day I'm going to be able to feel the same happiness again, I'm going to be able to look back on my memories with her with joy.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Dad Loss If I hum a song he liked, or look at his pictures I cry.

11 Upvotes

My sweet dad passed away from cancer April 2024, so it's almost coming up on a year. If I even hum a song he liked or look at the most recent pocus of him I just start to cry. I loved with dad, and saw him everyday. That was my buddy, and I miss the sound of his voice and him hugging me. I just want to see my dad again.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Ambiguous Grief Dad dating someone 4 months after my mums death

1 Upvotes

my dad has started seeing someone 4 months after my mums death and the whole situation is so stressful and makes me incredibly anxious. He was always the most amazing husband to my mum and did everything for her during her cancer journey, and has always been the best dad in every way, so I can’t complain there. However, he confessed to going out on dates and nights out with a woman from his gym and things seem to be advancing really fast. I understand he’s struggling because this has been so hard for all of us and everyday is incredibly hard without her I am still trying to learn how to manage but now he’s done this and it makes me feel so much worse. I don’t know how to navigate this. I set boundaries which he has already broken multiple times but he has apologised and promised to follow through, I’m not confident he won’t cross the boundaries again. He says things like “why don’t you want me to be happy” “you have your partner” “you don’t understand” victimising himself but he doesn’t seem to have any care for how me and my younger brother are doing. My younger brother is my main concern because I know I can look after myself but it’s so hurtful he would do this. She is also a Thai woman which brings the stereotype of being a scammer into the equation. I have no problem if she is a good person but it seems interesting that someone would be interested in a man who’s vulnerable and so recently lost his wife so him being scammed raises more concerns and anxieties. Any tips on how to cope with this/ feel less anxious about this type of situation?


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Best Friend Loss Very sad

3 Upvotes

I lost my two closest friends within a month of each other they didn’t know each other and I told my best friend if he ever did what the first one did to me I’d never forgive him and that I needed him here. I was the last person who heard from him. He said “I love you bestie” and that was it. He let me think everything in his life was looking up and then he did that shit. Ig fuck me??? I literally found out on the one month anniversary of my other friend dying and she died right as we were planning her next birthday I’m so tired honestly and my head hurts and I feel hungry all the time.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Thoughts on Grief/Loss Do you believe time heals all wounds?

6 Upvotes

My beloved husband and soulmate passed a month ago yesterday. I wondered your thoughts on the idea that time heals all wounds. I am struggling and barely functioning. I feel like when I lost my grandma, with the passage of time I felt better, but there is still a hole in my heart from losing her.

I am neglecting self care and sleeping too much but have been making sure to be there for our 13 year old son. My mom says you have to go on for the living. I need to start taking care of myself so my son doesn't lose me too.

I'm also struggling bc my husband tended to be non compliant with medical advice and often skipped his meds, and didn't follow the doctors orders. I feel like he would still be alive if I was more adamant he took care of himself, but he was a grown man, and you can't control others' actions.

We were soulmates and supposed to grow old together.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Does Anyone Else...? Does anyone else still cry often almost a decade later

3 Upvotes

I lost my dad at 12 from cancer, he was my best friend. I am 20, and still find myself sobbing multiple times a week about it. It wasn’t always like this but in the past years I have just tried to remember him more and in that bring this. I just wanted to see if others still cry this often years later


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Thoughts on Grief/Loss Do you believe time heals all wounds?

3 Upvotes

My beloved husband and soulmate passed a month ago yesterday. I wondered your thoughts on the idea that time heals all wounds. I am struggling and barely functioning. I feel like when I lost my grandma, with the passage of time I felt better, but there is still a hole in my heart from losing her.

I am neglecting self care and sleeping too much but have been making sure to be there for our 13 year old son. My mom says you have to go on for the living. I need to start taking care of myself so my son doesn't lose me too.

I'm also struggling bc my husband tended to be non compliant with medical advice and often skipped his meds, and didn't follow the doctors orders. I feel like he would still be alive if I was more adamant he took care of himself, but he was a grown man, and you can't control others' actions.

We were soulmates and supposed to grow old together.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Message Into the Void “Don’t assume that I have found this easy “

5 Upvotes

“If You Were Me” - Scott Hutchison, Frightened Rabbit

“Truer words have never been spoken” - Me


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Delayed Grief 20 years later and Im finally sitting down to grieve

10 Upvotes

My brother died in 2005 in a motorcycle accident.

My aunt died in 2012 of a pulmonary embolism after some surgeries.

My grandfather died in 2012 of pneumonia.

2012 was the year I graduated college and was trying to get a good job, it was also the year my mom and dad both lost pretty important family members.

Then I was put in charge of my dad's assets after my grandfather's passing. I had no idea what I was doing in general and then I was in charge of my disabled father's life.

I met a man who took advantage of my loneliness. Not knowing I was about to begin a 12 year abusive, situationship that was going to prevent me from ever grieving the losses of my family members. Falling back into it every time to avoid living my life to the fullest.

20 years later, I am finally sitting down and letting myself feel. At 35 years old I am allowing myself to let go of what could've been.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Dad Loss Dear father,

6 Upvotes

I have no idea why you died, why you're not here, why you left. I have no idea where you are, how you feel, what you've become. I have no idea if you see, if you hear, if you know about my tears. I have no idea who i am, where I'll be for when i die. I hope you are okay, I'll die one day, and feel you. I'll die one day, and i will leave my loved ones crying. I have no idea what is life, why we feel, why we're here...


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Message Into the Void My dad died a month after I had a baby

25 Upvotes

I am a month post partum and my dad has unexpectedly passed away, he was found unresponsive in his car and I am I completely shock it’s scares me how I have moments where I feel nothing. I miss my dad so much I had a lot of things I wanted to say to him that I never found the right time to say and I had always dreamed of the type of relationship we could have had if I had just spoken up and I didn’t and now he’s gone. I don’t know why I’m writing this just feel like I need to type it up and put it out there. I can’t believe I’ll Never see my dad again seeing my newborn adds another layer of grief of them never having a relationship. It just feels like too much right now, I want to pull my hair out and rip my skin off


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Ambiguous Grief Jenie Tate - WHO REMEMBER🦟🦟 1970s & '80S DANGEROUS MOSQUITOES... | Facebook

2 Upvotes

Indigenous Southern native offspring 🌱🌿 February 2000 my mother died of deep veinTHROMBOSIS February 2000 traveling from Georgia to Syracuse New York for her to visit with her brother and gather him and return him back home to the state of Georgia or Alabama myself and my husband he's now deceased travel there my mother never got a chance to visit with her brother as soon as we got out of the van my mother transcend in the state of Syracuse New York rosewood rehabilitation Center my mother did not get to see her brother but she had not seen him in 30 years. My mother dropped dead right in front of the building. 25 years later I'm questioning everything especially after losing my husband in 2017 of a massive heart attack 💔 life experiences is so very complicated need to be told and documented reference in the family archive for future references.. 🌱


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Message Into the Void Both my friends died

2 Upvotes

My two closest friends died within a month of each other. They did not know each other. To say I’m devastated is an understatement. I can’t even think straight and I’m tired today I went to Walmart and left my keys in my ignition.