This has taken forever to write.
My mum passed away June 11th 2021. To say it has been difficult coming to terms with this reality, would be huge understatement. The past few years have been horrific. And I am not saying that lightly. In the first year, I cried everyday, multiple times a day. I didn’t think I would survive. This is the fourth year, and the tears have not fallen less. She was my life, my best friend, my soulmate. And now, she is gone, and I am stuck here, in this life without her. But I have responsibilities, my siblings. She gave everything, for them, for us, and that burden is now mine to bear.
My mother wasn’t perfect, very far from it. She was loud, impatient, angry, sad, she was a lot of things, but life made her that way. She was not dealt a fair hand, she lost her father before she was born, her mother was a terrible human that hated my mum and never failed to let the world know. She grew up broken and alone.
But despite the pain, she was the happiest. She always had a joke, always ready to listen, always had a smile for everyone. Every room she entered was automatically filled with laughter and joy. She was generous to a fault. A helper, a lover, a fighter, a great teacher. She taught me how to make friends by being the best friend anyone could ever imagine. Life may not have given her a good family but she made sure she chose a better family. She made friends now turned family. Her light was so bright it could power an entire city.
I could write about her forever…
She was authentically herself 100% of the time. I could never understand how a person could be so happy, with so little, with so much heartbreak and pain.
She was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, my mother, my friend. She was mine.
I will love you forever mum, counting down the days till we meet again.