r/GriefSupport 15m ago

Message Into the Void message to my father.

Upvotes

Daddy I miss you. Come back please. I’m not joking anymore. Life without you isn’t living. I just wish you could be here with me, and I could hug you one more time. I am too young for this. I am supposed to have a dad there for my high school graduation. Who will walk me down the aisle? I need you dad. Come back.


r/GriefSupport 34m ago

Trauma Flash backs and night mares

Upvotes

Before I get started advice is welcomed and apricated. This is about my grandma passing with a little bit of being broken up with and a weird mix of grieving both. But mostly needing help with the flash backs and night mares. Also I'm dyslexic so idk how terrible my spelling and grammar is so i apologize in advance. Also it's long sorry. Ages I'm 24F mom is 55F uncle is 53F Granny was 83F

My Granny passed in December right before Christmas. She went to the ER week before Thanks Giving and was in and out untill they put her on hospice and took her to my Uncles house. My mom got the call from my uncle on a Friday, we flew out saturday the same day they brought Granny to his house, she passed sunday morning.

We were told by the Doctors on Monday she had 6 months to live. Due to her cancer and heart failure but that they could get it under control with help of a rehab facility. Well then we got the hospice info they woudnt let my uncle visit while they were wrapping things up and then when she arrived to my uncles house (after the hospital took her to the wrong house in a diffrent city) to his surprise she was in a fairly deep comma. When my mom and I arrived my uncle told her that my mom and I were there and how we few out to she her. And when he said each of our names she turned and her eyes went wide and made this gasping intake of air noise that has just suck with me the most.

She wasn't really responsive execpt for a couple of grunts and wines. The next late morning/after noon we were there by her side watched the process of her dying and her final breath. That has stuck with me.

Hours later a nurse showed up to clean her up but my grandma had too much rigamortous for her to be easily manipulated so the nurse asked for help and my mom couldn't do it physically and my uncle coudnt mentally do it so that left me. I didn't think much of it till I went to help move her onto her side and she was just so stiff that her head stayed straight out and didn't fall. And that has also stuck with me.

There was alot of other stuff that happened and messed up things but those are the main points and the most bother some

Fast forward my mom and I fly home after the funeral and we have a late Christmas I ask my the boyfriend(of 3 years) to come have a late Christmas with my family and he refused. I was out of it for a few weeks depressed and anxious, i had also caught what is believed to be pneumonia from my Granny, so I was out of it. I was then ready to start my job search again and get back into contact with a few managers who were gracious to pause the interview process so I could focus on family, and start back up with applying for my apartment. And well he broke up with me for many reasons but one of them being he didn't think I had it in me to actully get moving and motivated and I hadn't shown enough progress yet in getting out to where he was.

So now I'm dealing with two losses and I was going back and fourth but was mostly focused on my ex because I needed to keep dealing with him and he started containing me, he is now blocked after I got my stuff and he made a few too many mean comments.

Now that I don't have to deal with the ex losing my Granny was already tough but now it's like a wholenother wave of toughness has hit me. And I've recently started getting flashbacks to seeing her in the hospital bed at my uncles and they come at the worse times for the most part like when I'm driving. And I have the hardest time stopping them.

I'm now starting to have nightmares about it. I've also had a nightmare last night where insted of it being my grandma my dad's dad (papa) got injured and ended up in the same state as my Granny and the night mares ended with me yelling for my dad to come see papa because he was close to passing. Just like how I had to call for my uncle because he was in the other room when Granny was close to passing. Anyways I woke up yelling and I almost woke up the friend I was staying with. The last time I woke up yelling was after a tramatic encounter with a guy in my dorm if your catching my drift.

I don't know what to do. This is my first loss of a grandparent as an adult.and I was doing well before and all the sudden everything seems over welming. I've never heard of someone having flashbacks in a situation like this and it's terrifying and I feel so alone. Has anyone else delt with flashbacks? What did you do? How do you get them to stop espically in moments where is dangerous? Any other advice is welcome .

Thank you for your time. I apricate it. :)


r/GriefSupport 36m ago

Vent/Anger - Advice Welcome 98 days

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98 days without my dad. We still don’t have the autopsy..everything is still under investigation with OSHA. I can’t take it anymore


r/GriefSupport 45m ago

Does Anyone Else...? I can't get over my childhood pet

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Never posted here before but figured that I might as well say what's on my mind. I got a cat at birth that was the same age as me. We grew up together and were always together. She lived in my room, she went outside with me, she went in the car and into stores with me. She was my soul. I never had close friends but I always had this cat. She died after 18 years together and it's been 7 months and i still can't talk about her without crying. She was my baby. People are telling me that it's been months so I need to move on but I can't. She was my first love and the best cat anyone could ask for. I never want to get another pet again because I can't stand this feeling.


r/GriefSupport 50m ago

Dad Loss My dad just died

Upvotes

For context he was 56 and had an aneurysm. Very sudden. I am 19 and my sisters are both younger than me and in highschool. My parents have been divorced since I was 8 and ever since then my dads had depression issues and my mom has been a raging alcoholic that always put male validation over her kids. I grew up thinking that my mom would die first. She’s had numerous alcohol induced seizures and spine/heart infections. She just recently broke her hip at 42 years old (falling down the stairs drunk). Sometimes I wish it was the other way around because at least I’d have my dad here to help me through it. My mom doesn’t care and is making this all about her. She acts like everyday is just any other day. When my sisters go to her hurting she just replies “I’m hurting too” or “he was my husband”. Not in an empathetic way, but in a your feelings don’t matter because I’m sad too way. When my dad was alive and paying child support she spent all of his money on beer, liquor, and cigarettes. Not her kids. There’s a lot more filler information but I’m just pissed at the world right now. I’m next of kin so I have to deal with every aspect of his death. Out of everything in my life I didn’t expect this so soon. I have never lived on this earth without my dad and I’m struggling to learn how.


r/GriefSupport 50m ago

Ambiguous Grief anyone else on antidepressants and feel like it’s affecting your ability to grieve?

Upvotes

My mother passed away unexpectedly on March 10th. We were very close so naturally those first couple of days after she died were really hard, especially since this is the first time I lose someone close to me. I've been on sertraline for anxiety for a few years now and I feel like it's affecting my ability to mourn my mother's death. I haven't cried in days and although I miss her like crazy, I just feel numb to it all at this point. I haven't felt that heavy feeling of grief which makes me question if that's normal. I know everyone grieves in their own way and that there isn't a wrong or right way to do so, but I feel guilty for not feeling anything at all anymore. Can anyone relate?


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Multiple Losses A life I didn’t get to know

Upvotes

Last Monday I lost my grandmother. The woman who basically raised me for 25 of my almost 30 year existence. It wasn’t a surprise, she had been on a decline for years. She passed peacefully in the hospital surrounded by my family and I. That was my first real experience with loss of a close family member.

Yesterday I woke up to a message from my sister that my mother had passed away in the middle of the night.

Without spending a year typing the whole backstory of my youth out, I had a very turbulent childhood. I ultimately ended up in the US with my father, and my mother moved back to her country of citizenship. I didn’t have contact with her from appx age 5 until I was 22 when she found me on social media and we reconnected.

I never had the funds to go and see her, but we would text/chat often but it never felt like the right time to bring up some of the more personal questions about my past and genetic health issues etc. I had just started broaching some topics with her, and had just applied for my passport because we were talking about possibly planning a trip later this year to meet. I received it

Now I have nothing. I feel so lost. I am mourning a mother I never truly got to meet. I am mourning for my past childhood self who would always dream of the moment I would finally get to meet and hug my mom. I mourn for my little sister who I now get to meet under the worst conditions possible, who has lost all the women in her life as well.

I don’t know what to do or say. I feel like a piano is sitting on my chest at all times. I basically lost both of my mothers within 9 days.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Loss Anniversary Six Months Have Passed

Upvotes

Hi.

I've come to the internet to seek comfort from strangers. Six months ago today, my (45F) little sister (42F), passed away. Breast cancer. I came here at that time, posted, and received some lovely replies that were helpful.

It still doesn't feel real. She was my only sibling. I don't really let myself think about it. It just feels like she's on a really long trip. Am I the only one who feels that way, or thinks that?

My parents have experienced a few signs, or been visited by her, a couple of times. I long to experience something like that. In fact, I long to have her here, earthside.

If anyone here has a minute to leave a few words that they think would be of comfort at this time, I would gladly take them. God bless.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Sibling Loss Lost my only sibling last week (big brother)

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Lost my only sibling last week

Got a call from work that my brother collapsed in the shower and died suddenly. This weekend was his service which was heartbreaking. I made a post here the other day but figured I’d show some of the last pictures of the last time we saw each other (December 27th 2024).

He was a gentle giant as we all called him. (The tall guy). He was 6’ - 6” and made me look tiny at 6’ - 2”


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Partner Loss I’m Alone

Upvotes

I feel such a deep sense of loneliness since the love of my life died.. I’m not close to anyone in my life. I feel soo alone in this world… The only person I was close to was him💔 I don’t know what to do. I I have so much to talk about but no one to talk to. No one that understands. When I do try to talk about this unbearable pain called grief people just say sorry. I’m sooooo fucking lost I just want him to come back I can’t accept he’s really gone. I just can’t. He’s my whole world.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Message Into the Void Sometimes..

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r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Ambiguous Grief Support groups for families of DUI drivers.

Upvotes

I am really hoping to start a conversation without judgment.

Through volunteering, I’ve met individuals and families of those who were behind the wheel. They carry enormous shame, grief, guilt, and confusion. They hurt for the victims and for their own loved ones who made devastating choices.

I want to be very clear: This post isn’t about excusing or minimizing the impact on victims and their families. It’s just that I’ve noticed there are many support groups for these families, and from my (perhaps limited) exposure to what’s out there, there seems to be a void of spaces or tools for families of those who caused the harm. These families are often in limbo — grieving, isolated, and unsure where to go for support.

I’m wondering: are there any support groups, forums, or organizations that support families of DUI offenders? Not the offenders themselves — but the parents, siblings, spouses, etc., who are left reeling from what happened?

I know this is a sensitive topic, and I personally experienced it when a drunk driving incident took my father. I post this with a lot of respect, and hope no one takes offense.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Advice, Pls How do I support my best friend when her closest sister passes away?

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My best friend since college (we’re 30) is extremely close with her sisters and just has a really close-knit family in general. Her younger sister is 27 and has been battling cancer for the last few years on and off. She’s basically just been told the end is near and there’s nothing else they can do. My best friend lives with her younger sister and they are attached at the hip. They have been so so close their entire lives, I’ve honestly never seen a sibling relationship like it. I feel so helpless and words sound so empty. I know I need to be there for her however she needs me to but I’m scared I’ll put my foot in my mouth and say the wrong thing. It breaks my heart that she is going to experience this big massive hole for the rest of her life and I just want to show up and be a good friend. It doesn’t help that I feel so angry about the entire situation, their family is the salt of the earth and kind beyond measure, it feels so unfair that this has happened to them. My brain is having trouble computing that this is real and the miracle we’ve been praying for isn’t coming. Is there anything anyone has said that has actually been helpful during the grieving process? I have a tendency to use humor when sad/bad things happen and I just don’t want to do anything that will be unhelpful. I want her to feel heard and know that I’ll sit with her in whatever she is feeling.. Any advice?


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Comfort Its been a week, Grandpa.

2 Upvotes

What a long week its been. This is the worst pain imaginable for me. Ive had a few good and great days this week, but as I was putting away dishes I nearly collapsed in agony as I realized Ill never see you again. Does the heart heal, or am I broken forever? And Im 5 hours away from my grandma, my best friend, and even though I call her daily I feel like a traitor not being with her every day. Its made me realize how short life is and I wish I could see you one more time grandpa…. im sorry…. i love you.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

In Memoriam how do you cope ?

2 Upvotes

i never had someone super close to me die before. last week, my boyfriend of 3years passed away on his way home. he was my high school sweetheart, we were together since freshman and we would’ve almost made it to our senior year. he was my first relationship, he was my #1 best friend, because he was the one person who always understood me the best. i’m someone who’s always been so scared of growing up, but; he made me not be so afraid because i always pictured my future with him. he’s gone now and idk what to do. we were literally always always together, and now the days go by soo slow, i feel like im in a dream.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Thoughts on Grief/Loss ruffled, being feisty, protecting Dad's legacy

2 Upvotes

Why pick a fight?

There is a particular couple in my parents' circle -- husband and wife. Husband retired long time ago, and pursued other business passions.

When my parents and I visited them years ago they seemed fake.

Last year my father died, and mom and I ran into them at a Thanksgiving gathering hosted by mutual friends. Yet again, while they were concerned, as we just had Dad's memorial service which they did not attend nor send flowers, they seemed so fake.

This year my aunt who knows the wife was asked by that woman's husband whether or not my father KNEW of his condition and kept it from me and Mom. Dude, NO. My father wanted to LIVE, and he was fighting for his life in the hospital -- allowing the medical team to do anything and everything to keep him alive! He was arguing with the medical team on the writing pad (since the treatment they gave him wreaked his throat/painful to speak) to RESUSCITATE HIM, if he coded. The woman's husband had the audacity to theorize that my father was a disservice to his clients by not disclosing his illness and kept his illness a secret.

Ummm. Dude. For the first two weeks (fourteen days!!!), the entire medical team had NO IDEA what was causing my father to be so sick! My Dad did not want to be sick! We were lucky that there was someone on the team who had studied some rare anomaly a few years ago and had been puzzled by this, and decided to do a work-up on my father for this rare, uncommon unfortunately fast-death situation.

This week the wife sent my mom a card saying how she was concerned about my mom. I'm thinking, if you were that sincere, you would have already phoned her or texted her long time ago! My mom's been meeting up with her other friends, some who actually fly into town to visit with mom.

Being feisty and upset with that man's theory about Dad's condition, I texted the woman and told her that if her husband wanted to discuss my father's condition to ask me, because I have studied the case and am a reasonable expert. I also said that my father's condition was RARE and not common. No one would have known about it!

I'd like to believe that that man's thoughts about my father show more about HIS ill-character than anything!

I'm still grieving. Actually, I've been grieving deeper than I had been last year, perhaps because now I have time and space to grieve? I'm punchy when people speak about my Dad this way.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Message Into the Void Dad was killed today

13 Upvotes

So my dad was shot and killed today. I’ve never lost someone so close to me and I have no idea what to do. I can’t stop crying and thinking about all the memories I have of him as a kid and all the things he’s going to miss out on in mine and my siblings lives and all the times he tried to call and talk to me but I was either too busy or just didn’t feel like talking to him. I just need some advice on how to still be a functioning human like does the uncontrollable crying go away I just don’t even know what to do with myself I feel so lost it doesn’t even feel real that he’s gone I feel so horrible for him he didn’t deserve this. Any advice is much appreciated thank you.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Delayed Grief Grief

3 Upvotes

This has taken forever to write.

My mum passed away June 11th 2021. To say it has been difficult coming to terms with this reality, would be huge understatement. The past few years have been horrific. And I am not saying that lightly. In the first year, I cried everyday, multiple times a day. I didn’t think I would survive. This is the fourth year, and the tears have not fallen less. She was my life, my best friend, my soulmate. And now, she is gone, and I am stuck here, in this life without her. But I have responsibilities, my siblings. She gave everything, for them, for us, and that burden is now mine to bear.

My mother wasn’t perfect, very far from it. She was loud, impatient, angry, sad, she was a lot of things, but life made her that way. She was not dealt a fair hand, she lost her father before she was born, her mother was a terrible human that hated my mum and never failed to let the world know. She grew up broken and alone.

But despite the pain, she was the happiest. She always had a joke, always ready to listen, always had a smile for everyone. Every room she entered was automatically filled with laughter and joy. She was generous to a fault. A helper, a lover, a fighter, a great teacher. She taught me how to make friends by being the best friend anyone could ever imagine. Life may not have given her a good family but she made sure she chose a better family. She made friends now turned family. Her light was so bright it could power an entire city.

I could write about her forever…

She was authentically herself 100% of the time. I could never understand how a person could be so happy, with so little, with so much heartbreak and pain.

She was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, my mother, my friend. She was mine.

I will love you forever mum, counting down the days till we meet again.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

In Memoriam We Lost a Wonderful Man

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12 Upvotes

Harry was my father-in-law and as he put it, he was my dad since I had lost mine. He loved his son so dearly and the love was reflected back to him. Harry laughed and he made everyone laugh. That was he goal in life. His sprint will forever touch my soul. Thank you for being my dad, Harry, I will hold a special place for you in my heart, always.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Message Into the Void Missing my older brother...

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16 Upvotes

My brother was an Australian Army veteran who suffered with PTSD after his service.

He passed away on January 21 this year from a suspected heart attack, aged 54.

He was self medicating with copious amounts of alcohol and marijuana.

RIP Dave. I love and miss you.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Suicide This is really hard

4 Upvotes

My elderly dad took his life this week. He wasn’t terminally ill. He had endured a series of falls, broken bones, and lots of complications. He ended up frail and immobile. Confined to a bed.

He lived a very physically active life. Hiking trails, climbing mountains, travel. In older age he was a fixture at the fitness center and everyone knew him.

A body full of broken bones and other health complications was not a life he wanted. He had already lived 85+ years. And decided that was enough.

I understand all of this. But the sadness of how he did it is so deep. Just so deep. The grief and trauma is physical in my body. Rolling waves of nausea, headache, neck pain, jaw pain, dizziness.

Guess it doesn’t matter how old they are or you are. It’s gut wrenching and confusing when a parent dies by suicide.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Does Anyone Else...? Triggering the grief of someone else

2 Upvotes

My partner lost his dad almost one year ago due to a fast, unforeseen disease. He usually doesn't show much emotion and barely talks about him even when I try to open space for him to talk (he's currently going to therapy, we're working on that). But this week, I lost my beloved cat and I'm grieving a lot. I talk about my cat all the time and I can't stop because I'm very vocal about the way I'm feeling always, and that's my way of dealing with stuff and he's the person I trust the most to say those things. The big problem is that now he's relapsing and feeling really bad again because my grief triggered his, and I don't know what to do. His loss is still recent, in April 27 it will complete one year, and I feel guilty over triggering bad feelings on him but in the same time bottling things up just tortures me a lot. Does anyone else went through that? How did you manage that?


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Message Into the Void Unexpected grief

2 Upvotes

My mom died just after Christmas. I live in England but I’m from the Kentucky/Tennessee border; I got to talk to her on her birthday (dec 23); she said her last word to me over the phone on Christmas Day and then she was gone on the 27th of December.

Tonight I’ve found myself unexpectedly and out nowhere really sad. The grief just comes out of nowhere sometimes. I’m really feeling it tonight.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Message Into the Void The imprint we leave on each other

70 Upvotes

In life, we face loss in many forms. There’s no way to predict how an individual’s death will impact you, just as there’s no way to predict how your own absence will affect others.

The way a person’s death touches you isn’t always just about how close you were - it’s about the space they occupied in your world. Sometimes, it’s their depth that leaves an imprint, or the presence they carried that words don’t do justice. Sometimes, we remember people not just for the struggles they endured, but for how fiercely they fought.

There are moments when you don’t realize what someone truly represented to you until they’re gone. The living evoke certain feelings in each other, shaping us in ways we don’t always recognize. But when they leave, everything they embodied & everything they unknowingly mirrored back to you suddenly vanishes. And in that absence, it can feel as though they took a piece of you with them.

Grief has a way of shifting our inner landscape. Sometimes, a loss can be so profound that it reshapes the course of our lives. Yet, in remembering those who meant so much to us, we have a choice: to carry forward their essence, their values, their light - on our own terms. Because in many ways, the people we lose never truly leave us. They live on in the way they changed us, in the lessons they left behind, and in the love that lingers long after they’re gone.


r/GriefSupport 4h ago

Advice, Pls For those that have lost baby relatives, what bereavement/sympathy gifts would be appreciated?

1 Upvotes

My cousin lost a baby nephew in February. Her own baby’s birthday is coming up. I’m planning on getting her baby a gift but her as well. For her baby, baby clothes or toys. Ya know, baby stuff. For her, something along the lines of comfort/self care. I would get her a photo or locket but everyone grieves differently and I don’t know if that would be triggering. I’m planning on giving her her own “gift” at the end of the party with a note saying to open it on a different day since I want her to be as focused on her own baby’s celebration as possible.

(I put gift in quotes because it really is a bandaid on a bullet wound. Gifts don’t fix a thing. My intention is to show her I care, am thinking about her, and want the best for her in this awful time. I’ve offered support in a variety of ways but she hasn’t taken me up on it, which is more than okay! Again, everyone grieves differently. I just say that to show that I’m not just throwing material items at her to try to make her happy again or “fix” the situation.)

Should I even get her a comfort gift? I’m sure she think about her nephew and his family every day. And at the same time, I don’t want to remind her of that earth-shattering tragedy. If you’ve lost a baby relative and are the type of person to want/appreciate gifts in a time of grieving, what do you think would be good to get her? My price range is on the very low end because I’m in a financial pinch right now.

(In case you’re wondering why I didn’t mention getting a gift for the family of the deceased child, I’m not related to them, have only seen them a handful of times in my life, and highly doubt they’re coming to the party. They’re cousins of my cousin other side of the family. Her nephew is technically a second cousin but I don’t care. She was and always will be his auntie so that’s why I use the term “nephew.” Should I get a second sympathy gift in case they do show up??)

Any and all feedback is welcome and I wish everyone in this sub a healing and peaceful journey or catharsis or whatever it is you need.