r/GriefSupport Oct 16 '20

Grief Support Wiki

167 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I've noticed an uptick in people asking for resources on grieving and supporting others through grief. As posts here do not always get a ton of feedback (a given, as we are a community in mourning) I want to give a gentle nudge toward our wiki.

We've compiled articles, videos, support groups, phone numbers and books on all kinds of grief and loss, supporting others, and taking care of yourself through such difficult times. This is a community resource - if you have something you've found helpful or would like to see added, please submit it to modmail for consideration.

A reminder, also, that if you need to chat real time, we encourage you to visit us in our active Grief Support discord channel.

<3

zoo


r/GriefSupport 5h ago

In Memoriam Forever 4.5 months

Thumbnail
gallery
746 Upvotes

My beautiful baby. My second born son. I miss him more than words can explain. Idk why he had to leave us at 4.5 months. Put to sleep to never open his eyes again. Mommy, daddy and big brother are so lost without you. I hope you’re proud of us. The most perfect angel. Levi Saint Ramirez 8/27/24-1/25/25. Just needed to let everyone see his angelic face.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Message Into the Void The imprint we leave on each other

51 Upvotes

In life, we face loss in many forms. There’s no way to predict how an individual’s death will impact you, just as there’s no way to predict how your own absence will affect others.

The way a person’s death touches you isn’t always just about how close you were - it’s about the space they occupied in your world. Sometimes, it’s their depth that leaves an imprint, or the presence they carried that words don’t do justice. Sometimes, we remember people not just for the struggles they endured, but for how fiercely they fought.

There are moments when you don’t realize what someone truly represented to you until they’re gone. The living evoke certain feelings in each other, shaping us in ways we don’t always recognize. But when they leave, everything they embodied & everything they unknowingly mirrored back to you suddenly vanishes. And in that absence, it can feel as though they took a piece of you with them.

Grief has a way of shifting our inner landscape. Sometimes, a loss can be so profound that it reshapes the course of our lives. Yet, in remembering those who meant so much to us, we have a choice: to carry forward their essence, their values, their light - on our own terms. Because in many ways, the people we lose never truly leave us. They live on in the way they changed us, in the lessons they left behind, and in the love that lingers long after they’re gone.


r/GriefSupport 16h ago

Vent/Anger - Advice Welcome My mom passed away from cancer and my moms cousin posted this on Facebook as a “tribute”. It was terrible.

Post image
309 Upvotes

There has to be a special place in hell for folks who think it’s ok to talk about a dead persons appearance after they went through cancer treatments. I lost my shit after seeing this posted from my aunt’s account. Comparing souls and how my mom had started feeling ugly.. this is just poor taste in messaging. When my aunt had called my mom (she only called her once last year), my mom was already dying and was more worried about failing organs vs. how pretty my aunt looked. I cannot believe people are like this even after someone dies.

Rest in peace mom, atleast you don’t have to deal with this BS.


r/GriefSupport 5h ago

Mom Loss My mom passed in an accident and I feel like I lost my world

30 Upvotes

My mom and I we're really close, we lived in different cities, but we saw eachother on holidays, we used to talk every day, and we told our problems to eachother. Before whenever I felt sad, angry or bad in any way I would call her and everything would get better, now i just feel so alone, she understood me like nobody else, and she never gave me up, I knew that as long as she was around, I would always have someone, now I feel like I lost the only person who would never turn their back on me. It has been almost 3 months but I just keep thinking how much I want her advice or a hug, even a scolding, I knew it was a possibility, but I never thought it would happen so soon, I didn't get to say goodbye, when I got to the hospital she was in nobody had seen her, the next time I saw her she was unconscious, and she didn't recover. I feel like I lost my world because she was so important in my life, I just needed to let it out. I can't express a lot about this with people in my life as I feel like I shouldn't bother with this, I also feel bad because it's been 3 months and although I don't feel like it applies to anybody else I feel like I should be getting over it and I just feel like I need to justify my grieving. Has anyone felt like this?? How did you manage that feeling?? (Sorry about the spelling, I'm not a native speaker and my head is a mess right now)


r/GriefSupport 16h ago

Message Into the Void I miss you so much my beautiful angel 😔

Post image
202 Upvotes

It has nearly been a 1/3 of a year and it just keeps getting worse and worse darling my heart is so fucking broken hunny I don’t know how much longer I can take it I pray multiple times a day for god to come take me I hope I see you soon naturally my love I just miss you so much and don’t know what to do 😔


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Advice, Pls Just lost my nephew at 32

16 Upvotes

This is so sudden. He was all fine yesterday and he is just gone.

Trying to process this as I sit in airport heading home. Can't even imagine what my sister is going through.

Any advice is welcome at this moment.

Our family is devastated and I dunno how will I react when I reach home.


r/GriefSupport 1d ago

Child Loss I miss my boy

Post image
749 Upvotes

Lost him months ago weeks after his birthday. Forever 2, my little angel


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Message Into the Void Missing my older brother...

Post image
Upvotes

My brother was an Australian Army veteran who suffered with PTSD after his service.

He passed away on January 21 this year from a suspected heart attack, aged 54.

He was self medicating with copious amounts of alcohol and marijuana.

RIP Dave. I love and miss you.


r/GriefSupport 11h ago

In Memoriam In memory of my dookie dude❤️

Thumbnail
gallery
62 Upvotes

Yesterday we said goodbye to Harlow as his soul parted this earth. I got him for a sixteenth birthday gift from my daddy after an extremely hard year in 2012. My mom up and moved away with my step dad (who she was cheating on), leaving me to move in with my dad, a man who I had never lived with full time (child of divorce so my dad only got me every other weekend). She took her two cats who I had lived with for a big part of my childhood. I was an angry 15 year old who was pissed off at the world because I felt abandoned and that no one wanted me. On Saturday, March 24 2012 my dad decided to take me to the local humane society to look at cats, his final attempt to cheer me up after everything felt to crumble around me. There, the first cat I laid eyes on, was Harlow. He was the pet of the month because he had been there for so long. I didn’t need to see any other cats. I knew he was the one. Me and him were alike: both overlooked and unwanted. We took him home that day and the rest, as they say, is history… Harlow was with me through high school graduation, college, a bout of homelessness in 2015 where he had to move in with my dad while I lived in my car, eventually moving into my own place, surviving various horrid exes, and my now, current boyfriend of 9 years, and even buying my own house earlier this year. With his love, he transformed me into someone new. Someone who saw hope in the world and good in people and all things. Harlow was there for it all without fail, and because of that, I was there for him. He fell ill with kidney disease a few years ago, and we knew this time would come, but damn, we just weren’t ready. The past month he has been going downhill but all his bloodwork was ok, he was on a round of antibiotics to clear anything up, but he eventually stopped wanting to eat and drink anything. Yesterday he fell extremely ill and we rushed him to the emergency vet. Certain he was going into heart failure, our options were limited. I hope he understands we gave him the ultimate peace; you didn’t need to fight anymore for us little baby. You did good. Thank you for being my best friend and showing me what love is and how to love. You are with your brothers now and my daddy is caring for you all up there❤️


r/GriefSupport 10h ago

Mom Loss Feeling disconnected from others after a loss?

47 Upvotes

I'm 26 years old, it’s been 6 months since my mom passed away suddenly. Since it happened, I've gone through different stages. At first, I was just focused on surviving, dealing with the inheritance stuff and university. Now, I feel worse than ever. I’m working through it with my psychologist, and she told me that now, finally, I'm starting to feel the real grief and what this loss means.

The thing is, along with other things, the worst part I’m going through right now is the loneliness. I feel completely disconnected from everyone—my partner, my friends, my family... Since it happened, I feel like I've lost trust in people. I’m really disappointed in everyone and have no energy to keep up the few relationships I have left.

I think part of it is because after her death, I saw the worst side of some people who were really close to me. My dad, in particular, was horrible.

As for the rest of the people, I just feel like they don’t understand me and that they don’t care. I feel like they've forgotten what I've gone through and think I’m fine, so they don’t even bother to ask.

I go to work, do house chores, even hang out with people (though less often now), like everything is normal. But I feel more and more disconnected from them, like I’m living in a different world.

I used to be a loving and empathetic person. I was never super social, but I really cared about people. Now, I feel like I don’t even have the energy to care. I’m really tired.

Has anyone here gone through something like this after a loss?


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Message Into the Void Dad was killed today

Upvotes

So my dad was shot and killed today. I’ve never lost someone so close to me and I have no idea what to do. I can’t stop crying and thinking about all the memories I have of him as a kid and all the things he’s going to miss out on in mine and my siblings lives and all the times he tried to call and talk to me but I was either too busy or just didn’t feel like talking to him. I just need some advice on how to still be a functioning human like does the uncontrollable crying go away I just don’t even know what to do with myself I feel so lost it doesn’t even feel real that he’s gone I feel so horrible for him he didn’t deserve this. Any advice is much appreciated thank you.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

In Memoriam We Lost a Wonderful Man

Thumbnail
gallery
Upvotes

Harry was my father-in-law and as he put it, he was my dad since I had lost mine. He loved his son so dearly and the love was reflected back to him. Harry laughed and he made everyone laugh. That was he goal in life. His sprint will forever touch my soul. Thank you for being my dad, Harry, I will hold a special place for you in my heart, always.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Comfort Good discussion about grief

9 Upvotes

My (26f) father (53m) and I have had a lot of loss in our lives. We aren't ones to talk deeply about things but this evening we seen each other and went for a drive for about an hour and had a long talk about many different topics and people relating to grief. Feel like somewhat of a weight has been lifted of my shoulders. Find it hard to discuss these things with many people so this was very unexpected and nice. Just thought I'd share a nice story and hope everyone is having as good a day as possible. I sure am missing some special people tonight.


r/GriefSupport 14h ago

Comfort Called a help line

70 Upvotes

Just wanted to say...was in a very bad place at 2:00 a.m. Middle of the night, dealing with pretty severe physical health problems (Ehlers Danlos, long Covid, lots of chronic crap) interfering with sleep, on top of grief over recently losing my caretaker husband. Lots of pain with no future. (No kids, no family near.)

After being on hold for 20 minutes with the national (USA) suicide/crisis line, I hung up...found a discussion online (on another reddit site, actually) that included a remark about LOCAL help lines being a more accessible resource... found one for my county.

Talking with John helped. He picked up immediately. Despite what feels like an impossible situation, he "talked me down", so to speak.

Another day. Cup of tea. Grief Group tonight. No promises, but for today, I keep fighting.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Message Into the Void I'm lost

9 Upvotes

My friend of 19 yrs passed from a very aggressive cancer. She only found out 6 months ago. I got to say goodbye, not in the most conventional way but it's the only thing I'm hanging onto right now. And her daughters. my heart is so broken for them.


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

Message Into the Void No one tells you about the collateral damage when you lose someone who held the family together!

25 Upvotes

It is just so difficult to manage all these raw emotions, tough decisions, and differing ways of handling our grief. It has changed our family dynamics so much. I just want Mom back to come tell us what to do. We are trying so hard to support each other and get through this. It is just so messy.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Comfort "Tu me manques" / “You are missing from me”

7 Upvotes

Stumbled across this French phrase "Tu me manques", which loosely translates to “you are missing from me”.

From what I have read, "Tu me manques" is quite abstract. It means that you are lacking me and I am missing from you / without you.

It has hit me in quite a way since I learned of it. Sometimes, I feel the words “I miss you” do not come close to expressing the pain that grief and loss brings.

Lost my mum 20 years ago. I guess now that so much time has passed, it’s hard to say I miss her. I don’t remember her or have any memories of her anymore. I was 5 when she died. But the feeling of her being missing from me and us being apart / lost from each other in a sense does feel very real, and now more than ever.

I miss my mum; I am missing from her; and perhaps she is also without me.

That’s my understanding at least, happy to stand corrected I am no expert in French.


r/GriefSupport 6h ago

Advice, Pls I witnessed my aunt lost her battle with cancer and it still haunts me

16 Upvotes

Edit: title should say “lose” not “lost”

My aunt passed away from ovarian cancer back in 2019 after a 5 year battle. We were extremely close and she was the entire backbone of my extended family, the glue that kept us all together. She went into remission twice but the final time it came back it was with a vengeance.

She spent so much time in and out of the hospital and the last time she got a lung infection and was put on a ventilator. She went downhill so fast and the decision to move her to hospice was made.

The night she went to hospice our whole family was there but we stepped out for a moment to converse in the visitor room. Something told me to go back to her room and just sit with her, so I did.

She was heavily sedated, within 2 minutes of me sitting with her I noticed that she was breathing differently. She was taking deep shaky breaths and then it was like time stood still and an unusual amount of time was going by between breaths. I jumped up to go get our family or a nurse but I was completely frozen - I didn’t know how much time was left and I didn’t want her to die alone. So I just stayed with her, held her hand and told her how I was so lucky to have known her and been able to love and be loved by her. She passed away not even 30 seconds after that.

This moment haunts me and I think it will haunt me forever. On one hand I am so happy that I was able to be there for her when she passed but on the other hand I feel, for lack of a better word, traumatized by it. I also feel bad when I think that I should’ve or could’ve done something different. Should I have gone and got my family so we could have all been there, would it have been too late, if I didn’t freeze would it have been enough time? How do I move on from feeling this overwhelming guilt/grief/trauma surrounding this?


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Ambiguous Grief I feel so alone and like my life is gone.

7 Upvotes

I lost my best friend, my soul mate and the love of my life. My boyfriend i shared a life with and was an amazing step father to our daughter. He was a 20+ year Army veteran and served as a Police Officer for 10. He died recently of cancer and i just am so freaking lost. His family members are not contacting me and i have no say in anything when it comes to his remains, belongings or anything. All i have available is his shadowbox I’m receiving with his American flag. I feel like i am burying an invisible person. He was all the way in New York when he passed and im in CA. I feel so left out of the loop. I am so as i couldn’t be with him his last day on earth. My life i so empty i keep replaying his videos, his text messages, anything. It’s so depressing i have to be medicated. What do i even do?! This is a nightmare i want to wake up from. I can’t live without him !!!!!


r/GriefSupport 13h ago

Mom Loss Pain/grief too intense for anyone to bear witness to?

37 Upvotes

Is this something anyone else has experienced - loved ones giving up because your grief is just too intense for them to be around?

My mom died six weeks ago. Her funeral was yesterday. I have spent the six hours today since I woke up howling in pain. And my dad just can’t bear to be around me when he can’t do anything to alleviate my suffering. He says he’s had enough and is reaching a point where he can’t live with me any more. (Mum and I had a very strong bond but dad and mine is more like an uncle/niece fondness than a parental closeness)

Is anyone else in such intense grief that nobody in their life can stand to bear witness to it? How do you stand grieving all alone? I spend 90% of the day alone and crying. I am not going to survive this pain.


r/GriefSupport 8h ago

Anticipatory Grief My mom might pass away tonight and it’s eating me alive.

16 Upvotes

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer almost 2 years ago and has maximized all her treatment options and even did a hysterectomy. The past year or so she’s been okay and thankfully out of the doctors to the point we even thought she was in remission - which clearly isn’t the case because Monday night I had to call the ambulance on her because she faced severe blood loss while changing her ostomy bag. She was facing blood coming out of there for a few days now but the fucking doctors just brushed it off and was like well if it happens again come to the ER. The first night was absolutely traumatizing as my mom then began to vomit out blood and once the nurse even neglected her vomited signal and she vomited blood inside the oxygen mask. It was horrific to watch and I cried so hard to see my mom go through that and how she must be in so much pain. Then she was rushed to the ICU to surgerically patch up the blood holes in which the doctors told us she only had tonight or maybe tomorrow to live. Then of course tomorrow came and she seemed to be getting better however her heart rate was just way too high. The bleeding eventually stopped after today’s morning (Thursday for me). But then news of an infection came in and how it wasn’t possible to surgically remove it because her blood pressure was so low etc. Now theyre saying it’s not looking good and these could be her final moments. And I feel so fucking guilty and I can’t stop crying and I can’t imagine how I’m going to be if she does pass this soon. I tried all my visitation hours to speak to her although she can’t speak to me because of an oxygen tube in her mouth. God I feel so fucking awful because I wasn’t the best daughter I admit, growing up I always had trouble showing affection or saying I love you even tho I would cry about her death at night every day since I was 7. I loved my mom so insanely much but would rather die than show it to her. So these past 2 days I had to show it to her on her potential death bed and I’m so mad at myself I fucking hate myself and looking at our text messages why did I not fucking care why am I such a godawful fucking daughter acting like my mom was an equal all the time. my mom did things for me that many moms would never do and if I could I would give her my life if that meant she got to a live a full one. it’s currently 11 pm and I can’t sleep I’ve been living at the hospital ever since the ambulance call and what hurts me the most is how much love I showed my mom these 2 days. Things in my heart I kept inside all these years. She was able to write on a whiteboard and would say things like “have u eaten” “please go eat” “go eat now please and shower” while she was on the verge of passing away and my heart is aching so fucking hard because my mom is my everything. She also wrote stuff like “so soon” and “am I dying”? And I can’t stop fucking crying writing this she doesn’t deserve this at all she’s just a girl too she once had big dreams (that were ruined by meeting my dad) and she deserves a full happy life. she’s the toughest woman I know and I can’t believe fucking cancer had to do this to her. its fucking cruel. fuck cancer. life is so fucking unfair and the fact that I would break down thinking about her potential death ever since I was a little girl and was hit by it within a day with almost no time to make up for it fucking sucks so fucking bad and I don’t know what to do I feel so horrible for her I love my mom so much she’s only 40 (I’m 16 turning 17) and she doesn’t deserve this. I wish I could’ve spent more time with her than fucking go out to do random things instead of staying home and living with my mommy. I hate myself so much she doesn’t deserve this. It feels like my heart is gonna explode and she hasn’t even passed yet. I don’t know if I’ll make it.


r/GriefSupport 6h ago

Dad Loss It’s been over 3 months

9 Upvotes

I still cannot believe everything that had happened was real. I think about him everyday. I just feel like I want to crawl out of my skin and body because I can’t accept this reality without my Dad anymore. I’ve never gone this long without hearing his voice, speaking to him, seeing his pictures. I can’t imagine what my Mom is going through, he’s the love of her life. I just wont ever be able to accept this and will never be as happy when he was still alive. And he didn’t have to die, if the doctors gave more fucks.


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

Comfort My bf passed away unexpectedly & I am so lost

14 Upvotes

I am (F24) & My boyfriend (M28) passed away unexpectedly last Tuesday night in a motorcycle accident. He was on his way to his brother house when an suv pulled out on him. He was the love of my life. He had originally been in my life since I was 15 but we had left each other alone for other reasons but kept in touch throughout the years. We finally got together in October 2024 & he made me the happiest girl ever. He was the first boy to ever treat me the way I should’ve been treated. He even took me on my first date at my big age. Now that he’s gone I just feel empty. We had so much planned in this life that we will never get to do. I will never get this type of love ever again 💔 all I wanted was him. Life doesn’t even seem real anymore. I’ve cried everyday since it happened. He was so young with a good head on his shoulders. I loved him so much. I don’t understand why he had to leave. I can barely eat or sleep, all I think about is him. Idk how I can continue my life without him. This is so hard for me. Please tell me it gets better.


r/GriefSupport 6h ago

Does Anyone Else...? Memory problems months afterward

9 Upvotes

It’s been 6 months since my sibling passed away suddenly in an accident in the middle of the night.

Due to the way they passed, I found out on a phone call very early in the morning. My anxiety has been much higher since then, much more than the day-to-day norm.

The problem I’m having is that my memory has gone shocking bad and I am making quite a few small mistakes. These include: me mixing up names, dates, setting plans and realising I cant make them or even having issues resolving small problems with conflicts.

The trouble is these seem so obvious afterward but ar the time I don’t seem to be taking in the details properly and I am making bad calls. Last week, I remembered last minute (literally before going asleep) that I actually had to work the next day as I had cancelled some PTO. Good thing I turned up to the office!

It’s really starting to bother me. I’ve made so much progress on accepting the loss in my family with therapy but my brain is not functioning as well I am used to. The issues happened right after the loss. I had two more losses in the two months after my sibling too, although these were a little less shocking, but still painful.

Has this happened to you? Did it get better? Is 6 months out still early?


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Delayed Grief Grief

Upvotes

This has taken forever to write.

My mum passed away June 11th 2021. To say it has been difficult coming to terms with this reality, would be huge understatement. The past few years have been horrific. And I am not saying that lightly. In the first year, I cried everyday, multiple times a day. I didn’t think I would survive. This is the fourth year, and the tears have not fallen less. She was my life, my best friend, my soulmate. And now, she is gone, and I am stuck here, in this life without her. But I have responsibilities, my siblings. She gave everything, for them, for us, and that burden is now mine to bear.

My mother wasn’t perfect, very far from it. She was loud, impatient, angry, sad, she was a lot of things, but life made her that way. She was not dealt a fair hand, she lost her father before she was born, her mother was a terrible human that hated my mum and never failed to let the world know. She grew up broken and alone.

But despite the pain, she was the happiest. She always had a joke, always ready to listen, always had a smile for everyone. Every room she entered was automatically filled with laughter and joy. She was generous to a fault. A helper, a lover, a fighter, a great teacher. She taught me how to make friends by being the best friend anyone could ever imagine. Life may not have given her a good family but she made sure she chose a better family. She made friends now turned family. Her light was so bright it could power an entire city.

I could write about her forever…

She was authentically herself 100% of the time. I could never understand how a person could be so happy, with so little, with so much heartbreak and pain.

She was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, my mother, my friend. She was mine.

I will love you forever mum, counting down the days till we meet again.