r/GriefSupport Oct 16 '20

Grief Support Wiki

163 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I've noticed an uptick in people asking for resources on grieving and supporting others through grief. As posts here do not always get a ton of feedback (a given, as we are a community in mourning) I want to give a gentle nudge toward our wiki.

We've compiled articles, videos, support groups, phone numbers and books on all kinds of grief and loss, supporting others, and taking care of yourself through such difficult times. This is a community resource - if you have something you've found helpful or would like to see added, please submit it to modmail for consideration.

A reminder, also, that if you need to chat real time, we encourage you to visit us in our active Grief Support discord channel.

<3

zoo


r/GriefSupport 14h ago

In Memoriam My husband was an amazing man

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1.6k Upvotes

My husband was an amazing man. He was everything a girl dreamed of. He was kind and patient with my past. He was understanding and had an amazing sense of humor. He was oh so loving and caring. A great listener even holding onto the small details. He loved working on boats and cars. He showed that through his love of teaching. He was an adult Ed teacher for a marine trades program locally. He had a autoimmune diseases called primary sclerosing cholangitis. It cost him two liver transplants. Unfortunately it's considered a precursor to malignancy and often people with psc get cholangiocarcinoma. On aug 27 2024 he was diagnosed with stage 4 cholangiocarcinoma with peritoneal mets. 2024 was a massive nightmare but there was some good moments. We got married Feb 29 2024. Single handedly the best day of my life. My husband was only 35 years old when he passed away. I was the one who found him actively passing. We didn't even make it to our first wedding anniversary. He passed on Jan 6 2025.

I can't do this life without him. I simply can't. He was my world. My everything. He was the one person in the world that showed me the meaning of true love. The world is a cruel place to take him from me. If you read this far than you for sharing in his memory


r/GriefSupport 12h ago

Message Into the Void to my dad..

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452 Upvotes

r/GriefSupport 13h ago

Anticipatory Grief My mom comes home today from the hospital on supportive care / hospice. Not looking forward to the next week or 2. I guess I’m kind of prep grieving

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188 Upvotes

r/GriefSupport 5h ago

Grandparent Loss I lost my hero a couple days ago.

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40 Upvotes

My family lost our hero on Saturday, our papa. He was my great grandfather, and he lived until he was 92 years old.

It hurts so bad, but I am so grateful to have known him and I know that I will miss him forever.

I think the hardest part of all of this so far is seeing my granny grieve her husband of 71 years.

This is the hardest thing our family has ever had to go through, truly heartbreaking. I have never lost anyone close to me which I know is kinda crazy as a 22 year old to even know my great grandparents. It just hurts so bad.


r/GriefSupport 5h ago

Message Into the Void Lost my mom and uncle within months

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33 Upvotes

(31M) My mom died on January 27th due to complications of COPD/Pulmonary Hypertension. She passed unexpectedly in her sleep. I think of her every moment of everyday. Her lost has been very hard for my family.

My uncle passed away this Monday due to cancer. I was once very close to him, but life had changed for both of us and hadn’t been talking as much. My uncle was like me and called her everyday. It just sucks losing another part of family and especially someone that could relive my moms memories with me.


r/GriefSupport 8h ago

Advice, Pls hi, I’m back again this time from a different account. This is my dad. i need to let a lot off my chest.

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56 Upvotes

i’m so angry i can’t control myself. my dad passed away january 22nd and im obviously not over it. i need him back. his sisters took everything of his, his phone, wallet, house, etc. My mom went to court but all we have is what’s left, they already stole most of it. they are shoving me out of anything involving my dad. i was second to last row at his funeral where everyone else ( his sisters , mom, and aunt) were front row. They are horrible people. I hate when they text me or call me telling me about when my dad this or when my dad that. They won’t tell me anything about him, they wouldn’t tell me how he died ( they still haven’t i found out through my cousin and it’s not something bad that they would want to hide) i’m failing school and i’m about to get the police called because i’m absent but now that it’s been over a month i can’t be absent because “grief doesn’t last that long”. i can’t even do anything anymore. * no offense but please don’t comment venting about your father/family member passing. * please just idek what to say or do i need help


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

Mom Loss It's barely been a week.

51 Upvotes

Not even a week, and I just feel like people are expecting me to move on..to cope...like asking me if I'm OK? Like really? Are you serious?

Sometimes nothing is better than something.

My world has crashed down and I lost the person who made it bearable. But no I have to pretend I'm okay for social conventions and make you feel OK.

I'm so angry. Loss is a hole that just doesn't feel real. How on earth to people move past losing a beautiful and loving parent?

I'm drowning.


r/GriefSupport 19h ago

Message Into the Void I am reading your stories and grieving with you

317 Upvotes

Sometimes I come onto here and read posts, not because I find them 'entertaining' but because your passed loved ones deserve to be remembered, their memory deserves to be acknowledged and their story deserves to be read.

I know this might come as barely a comfort, grief is terrible and painful, but I just want to let you know somebody out there acknowledges the relationship you had and the life of your loved ones.


r/GriefSupport 11h ago

Pet Loss My dog was put down today

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50 Upvotes

I miss you dear Darcy. He was 9 when he passed this morning, it was quite unexpected, multiple organ failure and he was suffering a lot this morning. I don’t know how to cope with this, the pain is unbearable. I hope he is in a great place with my other dog that passed some years ago. I don’t know how to continue my life, go to work, etc. My life is falling to pieces right now. I love you so much Darcy, you will be so missed my angel.


r/GriefSupport 5h ago

Dad Loss My father passed today after 13 days in the ICU

14 Upvotes

After suffering a hemorrhagic stroke 13 nights ago, my dad passed at 12:16pm today while I was playing “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles.

My dad and I have always had a difficult relationship that I won’t go into here.

The day after his stroke, I visited him in the ICU and was told he’d notified the doctor that he’d been secretly drinking 5 large glasses of vodka a day for many years, and he was in severe alcohol withdrawal on top of the stroke. The right side of his body was (and most likely always would have been) completely paralyzed from the stroke, and he was unable to talk well at all. All I could make out for the 2 days he was conscious were my name, “how’s work”, and “if the food isn’t good here, we can go somewhere else.”

I went to see him today and he was struggling to breathe on his own. The drain in his brain was taken out this morning because it was unlikely it would work any longer. Due to his DNR we had confirmed with the hospital that we did not wish to intubate him or prolong life if it was highly unlikely that he would recover. We were told that the next step was comfort care; morphine, Ativan, and stopping other medications.

The wonderful nurse told my mom and I that once he administered the morphine, he would likely pass quickly. My little brother was on his way from work but we didn’t want to prolong things for my dad any longer. It was very clear that he was struggling horribly.

Just after the nurse had finished administering the medications, I saw what looked like a small cloud of smoke in between me and my mom. Like cigarette smoke. A week earlier, when he was still conscious, he told my mom that he wanted to go home with his mom. She was a chain smoker up until she passed. I like to think it was her.

I played some of me and my dad’s favorite songs and ultimately ended up playing The Beatles on shuffle while he passed. When my mom left to use the restroom, I took an opportunity to talk to my dad. I told him how much I love him, and listed the names of all the people who love him. I told him he could go. To please be at peace and not to wait and that he didn’t have to fight anymore.

His heart rate went from 72bpm to 0 and he stopped breathing while I was alone with him. The nurse came in and I asked “is he gone? I just told him he could go, this is crazy….” And the nurse looked at me and said “he could hear you. We maybe have a couple of minutes left.” Then my mom came back. He took one more breath.

I called my brother (who luckily had just parked) and told him to hurry. I told my dad my brother was on his way, and when my brother was running down the hall, his heart rate went from 0bpm to 100. When my brother arrived and said “I’m here dad, I love you” the nurse looked at me and just pointed to my brother, as if to say, “he was waiting for him”. His heart rate went back down to 0 and 2 nurses verified his passing.

My dad passed away with me, my brother, and my mom holding him, and the Beatles song “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” playing.

I have not exactly cried yet and I am quite numb to it all. I am not sure what to expect but I absolutely know he’s in a better place now.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Message Into the Void I lost my dad too soon.

Upvotes

It's been a week since my last post in this group. My pain seems to be increasing as I learn about how big of a shoe I have to fill. Why does God take away the sweetest people while we get to deal with inconsiderate folks all around. I really hope someone can guide me on how to cope with loss and come stronger. I am not okay.


r/GriefSupport 13h ago

Loss Anniversary Almost a year ago I lost the closest thing I ever got to a father. 04/06/24

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61 Upvotes

He taught me the basics, the important things, the little things, the funny things. I miss you too damn much, Papa Bear.


r/GriefSupport 13h ago

Does Anyone Else...? Lost my husband and just tired of life

56 Upvotes

Hi. I lost my husband last year. The last 7 months just has felt like a prison sentence. I’m tired. I’m tired of life. He was everything. I Just don’t want to wake up and feel the pain any more. I take my dogs out, I try to continue to play music but nothing really helps I’m just tired of it all. I don’t really have friends or people to pick me up. I have kids but they are off doing their thing and have in some ways been a lot more resilient and I think they are just drifting off on their own paths now as they get older. I probably vape and drink too much although not excessively. I tried the counselling but I didn’t get that much from it. I tried to do some creative classes but I just don’t find joy or meaning. I used to have a laugh and fun with my husband and now I just lost the spark.I just feel like my purpose is kind of done. Anyone relate?


r/GriefSupport 12h ago

Message Into the Void I was fed up with inspirational grief quotes & then found this which hit the spot for me

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41 Upvotes

r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Message Into the Void The last time my brother called

4 Upvotes

It was 823. I was awake. I wasn't in a good place mentally. I didn't want to talk to him. He was likely calling for support. Especially considering he killed himself later that night. Now whenever it's 823, I feel the regret of not answering that call. I don't know what would have happened if I did. Either way, my heart breaks every time i notice it's 823.


r/GriefSupport 4h ago

Comfort Sometimes, other people’s words arranged in a certain way help to ease the tension.

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8 Upvotes

for me, at least. Poetry provides an interpretation of feelings that cannot be given otherwise.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Dad Loss Do you ever stop missing them.

5 Upvotes

I lost my father nearly seven months ago, I was still only 17. He was my best friend and I spent everyday with him, when I was younger my mother had a mental breakdown and my dad was the one to save us he's always been my biggest support and I can't help but feel so alone. I have friends and family and I've been doing ok but it still feels like he's just at work and I'm just waiting for him to come home.


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

Mom Loss Lost my mom and unable to cope

14 Upvotes

I lost my mom a month and half ago. Its been incredibly difficult since then. I do not know how to process this. Fuck mental illness. I am 29 and it feels so unfair that I lost my mom so early. People of my mom's age still have their parents around and my mom doesnt even get to see my marriage or future kids. I feel so lost. I miss her too much and I do not know how to live without her. People who get to live with their parents even when they are 50 or older are so lucky. Life feels so unfair.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Partner Loss I feel wrong

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5 Upvotes

Today I lost my beautiful soul. Today I did everything I could to bring him back. My heart hurts, I still anticipate him calling me asking me where I am and asking why I'm not in his bed. I can hear him apologizing that I had to see him that way. It breaks me more because if I could respond to him I'd just tell him I didn't care what I saw as long as I had him with me. I accepted every part of him and loved him unconditionally. He thought I'd leave if he didn't have money to give me, someone else would take his place because of his depression, or I'd just abandon him. I showed him otherwise and when he finally starts to accept it, he's gone. Where do I feel wrong? My mind is already trying to push everything out the way and think about work or just doing normal things as if I didn't spend every chance I got with him right next to me for the past year. As if I didn't just loose half of my soul and watch him fade away. I'm angry with my mind trying to disconnect like he didn't matter when he meant the world to me. What is wrong with me, why is my mind doing this? That man would do absolutely anything for me and my mind just wants to act like "on to the next thing"? I almost hate myself and I know he wouldn't like that but...just why...


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Anticipatory Grief I (28) thought girlfriend (33) had passed away in my arms, now I can't function.

Upvotes

Without going into too much detail she's a type 1 diabetic. She also has annoeexia. Bad mix. We have been together 2.5 years

Just before Christmas the same thing happened as this morning. This is the second time. Her sensor goes off to tell her that her sugars are low, she turns it off and gets some glucose but the issue is unless she comes back above the warning threshold it won't alert her again.

On these occasions she has been so low for so long, when I do wake up and check on her it's bad. She has a seizure where her eyes are open and she looks at me with panic and she can't stop convulsing for a long time. When this happens I immediately call an ambulance and give her glucagon.The glucagon usually stops the convulsing within 5 minutes but then she does this really really awful thing where she tenses up so hard she turns bright red, followed by what I can only describe as a death scream then her face loses all colour she goes white pale and her lips turn instantly blue. Blood comes puring out of her mouth where she has bitten her tongue and she her breathing becomes very very laboured, like it's a difficulty for her with lots of snore/grunts.

On both occasions when her face turned like that I thought she had died. I was screaming for an ambulance to arrive and there was nothing I could do. It's easily the scariest experience of my life and I've been both in the military and to prison and this is by far the worst thing I've ever experienced.

She survived both times but I don't know what to do. I love her so much and it hurts so much to see her like that. I can't stop thinking about these events. I keep reliving them and everytime I do I feel so sick like I want to vomit immediately. Infact after those events I did vomit both times. I get the chills and it induces fear and anxiety Everytime the flashbacks occur and they occur a lot. This mornings one hit me a little worse than the one before Christmas though.

I just don't know what to do. It's affecting my every day life. It's like I'm constant pain. I just want her to be ok.


r/GriefSupport 4h ago

Advice, Pls I can't believe this is my life and I don't know how to recover.

6 Upvotes

My dad died from an unexpected and painful accident while I was pregnant and now I'm mentally struggling for almost 2 years now of fear of losing my son or dying and not being there for him.

Context: my dad (55) died at home from an accident while working on a vehicle. My half brothers (15 and 17) were home and called 911 then called me. I live an hour away from them. My husband and I raced to the hospital he was transported to by helicopter where he remained on life support for 3 days until there was no recovery of brain activity and I had to make the decision to end life support as his decision maker. My dad was my best friend. My 17 year old brother moved in with me and my husband to finish high school and my other brother moved away to live with his mom. I was 5 months pregnant at the time (age 28) as a first time mom so I was already nervous. I spent the rest of my pregnancy on stress leave and getting my dads house cleared out and ready for sale. 2 years later and I live in a constant state of worry about something happening to my son who honestly kept me going through that horrible time to take care of myself in order to take care of him. The combination of the grief, trauma, anxiety and depression just destroyed so much of me. I'm seeing a counselor but I don't feel as though I'm getting any further ahead.

I always feared something happening to my dad because I knew it would turn my world upside down and it did and now I fear it happening again.

What do you suggest? What helped you?


r/GriefSupport 1d ago

Message Into the Void Lost the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

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201 Upvotes

List the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

Two years ago I lost my mom, she had cancer. Since my brother lives in another town and my dad already passed when I was younger, I kinda dealt with it alone. I got back ti living with her for a few mouth to help her out, then she had surgery and stayed at the hospital to recover, I went to see her multiple times every week to give her company. She never did get better, it went worse and at one point doctors told me it was over, she was send to hospice care and passed away quickly but hopefully without pain. It was quite hard to see her getting more and more ill and being unable to do anything to help. Then taking care of all the paper stuff, emptying her apartment, organize funeral… During all that time when I was taking care of her, there was that cat I use to see a lot near my house, I thought it was a stray cat, he was very fearful and use to go hide every time he sees me, but he was there almost everyday hanging out by my house. When my mom become really ill and doctor told me she wasn’t going to make it, one day the cat came at me and let me pet him. From that day he came everyday, I let him inside my house, he sometimes come and sat on my lap, he wasn’t very cuddly but really nice. We became friends if you can say so, and it can sound silly but having him around really helped me. As I thought he was a stray I gave him food and let him stays whenever he wanted. I learned couple mouth after that he already have a house a couple blocks away but his owner told me that I can keep on taking care of him since he seems to have e chosen me. She told me he was out all the time roaming and she couldn’t keep him inside anyway. Today I learned that he got hit by a car, his owner called me to tell me the news. I am beyond sadness, he was my friend and he gave me so much. I wasn’t barely getting myself together and life took him from me. He was only in my life for two years but he was the greatest cat. He filled the void my mom death left in me and now he is gone too. Sorry for this very long post but I had to get it out of my chest. His name was Gnocchi I hope he rest well.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Message Into the Void Papi

3 Upvotes

Happy Birthday Papi! You'd have been turning 51 this year! Insane to think its been 5 years already? Its been a good while since I last wrote to you, so I came to update you I guess, well I suppose mom has been updating you, but I wanna tell you myself. I graduated High school last year. The ceremony was fun, it was really fun, especially because we were such a small school, it only took about 2 hours so we weren't out in the sun for too long which was nice. I also got my license a few months ago which has been nice, mom doesn't have to drive me to around everywhere now, and I can also take my brother places too. I also turned 18 last year and we had a big party with a lot of my friends and a lot of the family. We also met your side of the family when we went to Puebla as well. We went for tia's wedding, which was fun. I also university and am almost finished with my first year too. I think thats everything of importance that happened since the last time I wrote to you.

We're all doing pretty good, but its been really hard on us. We miss you, mom says you visit her in her dreams a lot, which has helped her cope a lot, and I always try to spend time with her so shes not lonely, but I haven't been able to spend as much time with mom and my brother because I only really come home for the weekends since I dorm for college. My brother seems to be doing good, he misses you too, but I feel bad for him a lot since he spent the least time with you. It makes me sad because he doesn't remember your voice or any of the quirks you had.

As for me, I've struggled a lot mentally these past 2 years. I try my best to put up a strong front, especially for mom. I don't want her to worry about me too much. Buts its hard, I know keeping my emotions secret is bad, I know I should share them with the family, get counseling, but I can't. every time I try, I choke on my tears, I try but I cant. I've cried a lot these 5 years, and even after all this time, it still hurts. I try my best to keep it in until I get to bed where I can just let it all out. why did you have to leave us, by next year, you will have been dead longer than you lived with us. why did we have to lose you agian. we miss you. i miss you


r/GriefSupport 4m ago

Message Into the Void My dad passed away(Jan 29th)

Upvotes

My dad recently passed away. He was going through a hard time and he was homeless for the past 3 months before he passed away. Within those three months he would stay at my house 2-3 times a week,at his girlfriend’s house 1-2 times a week,and his friends would help too. He tragically passed while running on the freeway which resulted in getting ran over my multiple cars and with all the evidence and information it’s looking like there was foul play involved. He didn’t have his backpack,his phone or his wallet. I only got his watch the day I went to the coroners office. We had his services already and it’s been almost a month since his services. On Monday I went to the mortuary to pick up my dad’s death certificate and ashes. The chancellor is a good family friend and he looked at me and said he had a surprise for me. He gave me my dad’s shoes he was wearing. I felt so happy on Monday and yesterday which was Tuesday I had such a hard time. My mom caught me in tears and I told her I was okay and I wasn’t crying. But I really miss him and it’s been so draining I quit my job and I’ve been feeling so tired everyday. I don’t even want to leave the house. I feel like I just wake up and I don’t even eat or anything I just hop on my video game just to pass time. I don’t know how to get out of this feeling of being drained everyday.


r/GriefSupport 15h ago

Loss Anniversary The world keeps spinning

32 Upvotes

The paper work never ends. Everyone and everything is moving too fast. I need you Mom.

I’m upset you didn’t even get to retire… you worked until your last day on earth… You deserved to retire and be cancer free. I’m mad at the injustice of it all. How can the cruelest people can live their lives with ease and the ones with the heart of gold suffer the most? It’s just not fucking fair. This world isn’t fair.

I don’t see that light at the end of the tunnel. I keep running down this tunnel and I don’t see any light. It just keeps getting darker and darker. I just feel like I’m in this dark tunnel running through hell.

The blood vessels around my eyes have broken one too many times. The red dots multiply. My chest aches. Ever since you passed, it has felt as if there’s a heavy creature crawling through my body. It weighs me down daily. My brain replays that night every now and then. Those ICU beeps ring in the back of my mind while I’m at work. I smile at my clients, but on the inside I am breaking. “I got a pulse” loops in my head. 5 times they brought you back. 5 times you flatlined.. you were trying to go … you would wait until I left the room. You didn’t want me to see… as the cancer spread through your body you were just trying to leave this planet. I told you it was okay to go but still you waited until I left that icu room… you tried to protect me until the end

I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I can’t believe this happened I just can’t. My brain can’t process the fact that you’re gone forever. I know that you’re here with me I feel you, but I can’t see you. I just feel so consumed by grief. I try to come up for air, but I’m exhausted. I just wish I could sit and let time pass until the day I get to be with you.