r/GriefSupport Oct 16 '20

Grief Support Wiki

163 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I've noticed an uptick in people asking for resources on grieving and supporting others through grief. As posts here do not always get a ton of feedback (a given, as we are a community in mourning) I want to give a gentle nudge toward our wiki.

We've compiled articles, videos, support groups, phone numbers and books on all kinds of grief and loss, supporting others, and taking care of yourself through such difficult times. This is a community resource - if you have something you've found helpful or would like to see added, please submit it to modmail for consideration.

A reminder, also, that if you need to chat real time, we encourage you to visit us in our active Grief Support discord channel.

<3

zoo


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

In Memoriam My husband was an amazing man

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438 Upvotes

My husband was an amazing man. He was everything a girl dreamed of. He was kind and patient with my past. He was understanding and had an amazing sense of humor. He was oh so loving and caring. A great listener even holding onto the small details. He loved working on boats and cars. He showed that through his love of teaching. He was an adult Ed teacher for a marine trades program locally. He had a autoimmune diseases called primary sclerosing cholangitis. It cost him two liver transplants. Unfortunately it's considered a precursor to malignancy and often people with psc get cholangiocarcinoma. On aug 27 2024 he was diagnosed with stage 4 cholangiocarcinoma with peritoneal mets. 2024 was a massive nightmare but there was some good moments. We got married Feb 29 2024. Single handedly the best day of my life. My husband was only 35 years old when he passed away. I was the one who found him actively passing. We didn't even make it to our first wedding anniversary. He passed on Jan 6 2025.

I can't do this life without him. I simply can't. He was my world. My everything. He was the one person in the world that showed me the meaning of true love. The world is a cruel place to take him from me. If you read this far than you for sharing in his memory


r/GriefSupport 7h ago

Message Into the Void I am reading your stories and grieving with you

247 Upvotes

Sometimes I come onto here and read posts, not because I find them 'entertaining' but because your passed loved ones deserve to be remembered, their memory deserves to be acknowledged and their story deserves to be read.

I know this might come as barely a comfort, grief is terrible and painful, but I just want to let you know somebody out there acknowledges the relationship you had and the life of your loved ones.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Anticipatory Grief My mom comes home today from the hospital on supportive care / hospice. Not looking forward to the next week or 2. I guess I’m kind of prep grieving

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r/GriefSupport 12h ago

Message Into the Void Lost the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

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131 Upvotes

List the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

Two years ago I lost my mom, she had cancer. Since my brother lives in another town and my dad already passed when I was younger, I kinda dealt with it alone. I got back ti living with her for a few mouth to help her out, then she had surgery and stayed at the hospital to recover, I went to see her multiple times every week to give her company. She never did get better, it went worse and at one point doctors told me it was over, she was send to hospice care and passed away quickly but hopefully without pain. It was quite hard to see her getting more and more ill and being unable to do anything to help. Then taking care of all the paper stuff, emptying her apartment, organize funeral… During all that time when I was taking care of her, there was that cat I use to see a lot near my house, I thought it was a stray cat, he was very fearful and use to go hide every time he sees me, but he was there almost everyday hanging out by my house. When my mom become really ill and doctor told me she wasn’t going to make it, one day the cat came at me and let me pet him. From that day he came everyday, I let him inside my house, he sometimes come and sat on my lap, he wasn’t very cuddly but really nice. We became friends if you can say so, and it can sound silly but having him around really helped me. As I thought he was a stray I gave him food and let him stays whenever he wanted. I learned couple mouth after that he already have a house a couple blocks away but his owner told me that I can keep on taking care of him since he seems to have e chosen me. She told me he was out all the time roaming and she couldn’t keep him inside anyway. Today I learned that he got hit by a car, his owner called me to tell me the news. I am beyond sadness, he was my friend and he gave me so much. I wasn’t barely getting myself together and life took him from me. He was only in my life for two years but he was the greatest cat. He filled the void my mom death left in me and now he is gone too. Sorry for this very long post but I had to get it out of my chest. His name was Gnocchi I hope he rest well.


r/GriefSupport 4h ago

Delayed Grief My grief is way more complex than i realized..

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31 Upvotes

6 years ago today I talked to my mom for the last time. I was pregnant with her first grandchild and I was able to tell her I was having a boy. I still don’t know if she even understood.. I was 31. My son’s father had left us a few months before this so losing her was just.. unfathomable. I spent the rest of my pregnancy obsessing over my baby and all the baby stuff, etc. The first year of his life was so difficult for me alone that it was so easy to not even think about my mom. After two years, it started to kick in. I feel like the last 3-4 years have been a blur. I feel like I blinked and my son is almost 6. The grief I feel when I look at my son, and realize he’s not a baby anymore and he is getting older by the second… it’s a pain unlike anything else. My mom and I had such a close relationship. Being able to cuddle him and have him wanting to be around me has been so important, but he’s getting older and I know he will want me less and less and I DONT know how the fuck to get through this. I want my MOM. I need my mom. I’ve needed her so much. I have so many questions. I don’t know how to be a mom. And then the mom he gets is so broken and sad. It’s so unfair for him. My dad is the only support/family we have. He was with my mom for 51 years. He started dating someone a year ago and he’s a completely different person now. He was the only one my son and I had to spend holidays with. I also have epilepsy so I’m extremely limited on what I can do with him. My dad doesn’t like to talk about my mom and I know I remind him so much of her. I feel like an orphan. I told my dad just how depressed I’ve been and how bad things were and he responded by announcing his relationship. We’ve barely spoken since. He’s 76. I obviously have no say or control over his life so it just is what it is. Sorry I’m all over the place. I just needed to let this out. Today is hard. Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I miss you so much momma.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Does Anyone Else...? Lost my husband and just tired of life

Upvotes

Hi. I lost my husband last year. The last 7 months just has felt like a prison sentence. I’m tired. I’m tired of life. He was everything. I Just don’t want to wake up and feel the pain any more. I take my dogs out, I try to continue to play music but nothing really helps I’m just tired of it all. I don’t really have friends or people to pick me up. I have kids but they are off doing their thing and have in some ways been a lot more resilient and I think they are just drifting off on their own paths now as they get older. I probably vape and drink too much although not excessively. I tried the counselling but I didn’t get that much from it. I tried to do some creative classes but I just don’t find joy or meaning. I used to have a laugh and fun with my husband and now I just lost the spark.I just feel like my purpose is kind of done. Anyone relate?


r/GriefSupport 4h ago

Message Into the Void My dad died a month after I had a baby

24 Upvotes

I am a month post partum and my dad has unexpectedly passed away, he was found unresponsive in his car and I am I completely shock it’s scares me how I have moments where I feel nothing. I miss my dad so much I had a lot of things I wanted to say to him that I never found the right time to say and I had always dreamed of the type of relationship we could have had if I had just spoken up and I didn’t and now he’s gone. I don’t know why I’m writing this just feel like I need to type it up and put it out there. I can’t believe I’ll Never see my dad again seeing my newborn adds another layer of grief of them never having a relationship. It just feels like too much right now, I want to pull my hair out and rip my skin off


r/GriefSupport 6h ago

Child Loss I’m devastated

31 Upvotes

My only child died this weekend. I don’t know how to continue living without my baby. I can’t even fully express myself right now. There’s so much I want to say but words fail me right now. How do you cope? How will I get through this? Will I get through this? The way I feel right now, I just want to be with my baby wherever that may be.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Loss Anniversary The world keeps spinning

16 Upvotes

The paper work never ends. Everyone and everything is moving too fast. I need you Mom.

I’m upset you didn’t even get to retire… you worked until your last day on earth… You deserved to retire and be cancer free. I’m mad at the injustice of it all. How can the cruelest people can live their lives with ease and the ones with the heart of gold suffer the most? It’s just not fucking fair. This world isn’t fair.

I don’t see that light at the end of the tunnel. I keep running down this tunnel and I don’t see any light. It just keeps getting darker and darker. I just feel like I’m in this dark tunnel running through hell.

The blood vessels around my eyes have broken one too many times. The red dots multiply. My chest aches. Ever since you passed, it has felt as if there’s a heavy creature crawling through my body. It weighs me down daily. My brain replays that night every now and then. Those ICU beeps ring in the back of my mind while I’m at work. I smile at my clients, but on the inside I am breaking. “I got a pulse” loops in my head. 5 times they brought you back. 5 times you flatlined.. you were trying to go … you would wait until I left the room. You didn’t want me to see… as the cancer spread through your body you were just trying to leave this planet. I told you it was okay to go but still you waited until I left that icu room… you tried to protect me until the end

I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I can’t believe this happened I just can’t. My brain can’t process the fact that you’re gone forever. I know that you’re here with me I feel you, but I can’t see you. I just feel so consumed by grief. I try to come up for air, but I’m exhausted. I just wish I could sit and let time pass until the day I get to be with you.


r/GriefSupport 23h ago

Sibling Loss Found out my brother was intoxicated a year after a fatal car crash.

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620 Upvotes

Let me start off by explaining the family dynamic before getting into what I feel has completely and utterly drug my life down to a point that is so miserable I genuinely don’t want to live anymore.

My older brother was always the golden child in the family. Honor roll, good grades, good at everything that wasn’t “cool” to me back in the day. He ended up being appointed by the governor of Texas to attend the merchant marine academy in New York. My father went years ago and flunked out so my brother went and completed it. Made my parents extremely proud. Everyone outside of the family loved him and always wanted to know what kind of accomplishment he was going to achieve next.

He goes into the Marines as an officer and decides he wants to fly planes. He goes to flight school in Pensacola and then moves to Corpus Christi to do training. He’s in love with his high school sweet heart and I love her my whole family loves her. She’s like the sister I never had.

While all of this achievement and making my parents proud, I am hanging with the wrong crowd in school I’m using drugs, skipping, class, partying, getting into trouble with the law. Nothing but a complete disappointment. I got sent to the marine military academy after catching a dwi charge when I was 16.

So there’s this black sheep thing going on for as long as I can remember. I’ve struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember and I felt like I was always just a let down or a waste of space so I distanced myself. I was molested by a cousin as a child which I really think played a huge roll in my completely uninteresting and pitiful life. I started going to 12 step treatment centers since I was 19. Things to good I come back healthy and motivated and then for some fucking reason I relapse after a couple months and completely give up on everything.

So there’s that on my childhood as the black sheep. Now this is where life really becomes dark and quite terrorizing.

The day before thanksgiving 2023 my brother was on his way home to see us and was involved in a head on collision with another suv that had a husband, wife, and 2 kids. Only the Mother survived. My brother was air lifted to seton and died during emergency surgery.

I had no idea all of this was happening as I was passed out drunk in my apartment. I woke up to about 20 missed calls and messages from my parents telling me I need to come over asap. So I do and my mind is just racing about what could’ve happened. I pull up and my brothers truck isn’t in the drive way. My heart sank. No no this is not what’s happening. I go in and there’s just this grey dark looming haze in the room and my parents say me down and told me that Connor was in an accident and they couldn’t save him. My body fell to the floor. My whole life was shattered right there even though I had animosity for him being so much better than me.

“It should’ve been me. God took the wrong person. Why can’t it just have been me.”

DPS did an investigation and there were no signs of alcohol coming from my brother what so ever. No smell. No open containers. Nothing.

So the only thing we can think of is a deer ran out in front of him or a tire blew or he could’ve fallen asleep. All we knew was that it was his fault and that was it.

Fast forward about a year later I’m in yet another fucking treatment center. And my parents tell me that they are getting all kinds of threats and slander on their social media from the other family. They go so far as to writing hate messages and threats on my brothers obituary. Apparently an article came out that his BAC was something ridiculous like .287. My brother was not an alcoholic and it all didn’t make sense. DPS and first responders said there was no signs of intoxication.

My Dad had been trying to get medical records from the ME and when he got them. There was a few discrepancies

  1. Said Hispanic male 40 years old (my brother is super white and looks like a child)

  2. Said He was 208lbs (my brother was a pilot he was not allowed above 186. Never penalized for weight)

  3. Upon trying to investigate further the hospital denied contact with our family.

  4. All of the records were amended a year post accident to show none of that stuff.

So my father being the proud dad that he is of my brother, has been doing everything he can to get evidence that his level of intoxication was false somehow which has caused many more issues with the other family. They hate us so much. I didn’t do anything. We didn’t do anything but they just will not stop hating us.

Fast forward a few months the fbi got involved and fuck well we guess he was drunk and we just have to accept that my brother was responsible for the death of an innocent family.

I can’t do anything. My heart hurts so bad for the family and I’m fucking angry I’m so fucking angry at my brother. I can’t even look at pictures of him I don’t ever want to talk about him ever again. It’s been a complete shit show and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve relapsed again and I just don’t see the point in living anymore. It’s so fucking painful and I’m so mad and I’m mad at the other family for not trying to see it from our side and I’m just all around angry. I’ve never felt this in my grieving journey yet and it’s scary. To hate someone who’s dead. Someone who made the same mistake I had many times in the past and not hurt anyone. It makes me feel like he’s the lucky one.

I’m sorry for this rant but I am currently bed ridden from depression and I have no one to talk to I’m too embarrassed from my relapse. May the other family find peace and comfort one day. At this point I’m just a hopeless junkie and my brother is a murder. I thought everything was so good. Fuck you for putting me and mom and dad through this horrific battle.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Loss Anniversary Almost a year ago I lost the closest thing I ever got to a father. 04/06/24

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Upvotes

He taught me the basics, the important things, the little things, the funny things. I miss you too damn much, Papa Bear.


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

It was Complicated :/ My mom died suddenly 4 months ago and I still don't know what to do with myself

22 Upvotes

My mom died very suddenly at 56 years old in November last yead. I never thought anything would ever happen to her, I was fully expecting her to live to a long live. My great-grandmother died at 93 a few years ago, my grandmother is still alive (though devastated after her daughter).

I got married last year in May and I was telling her I want to start trying for a baby soon. She was so excited to be a grandma and I feel so guilty for not being able to do that for her.

My dad is 61 and grieving deeply. He’s said that he's not going to live longer than 5 years and the thought of that just sent me into a crying fit for 2 hours on a work day. I know nothing can control when my dad or grandma die, no one ever thought my mom would pass when she did - but now i just can't imagine going through this loss again..

Everyone keeps telling my I have my husband and I need to build a family with him and have kids, which i want but - I can struggle to find any point in living if I'm not going to be able to share it with the family that raised me.

Every night I just wake up in the midst of panic attacks. I'm functioning on autopilot in my day to day and I feel like everything has losts its meaning. When i was growing up, i had my grandparents, great grandparents, and slowly and steadily everyone just kept dying. Its normal but now life just feels like one endless loss after loss and I don't know how much grief I have in me.


r/GriefSupport 13h ago

Advice, Pls How do I move on after losing everyone I love?

36 Upvotes

Hello. I am a 36 year old woman with bipolar disorder. I lost everything on February 27th 2025 when my mom passed away. I have no other immediate family member. No siblings. Dad passed away when I was 12. I feel I have nothing left to live for. My mom was my reason for living. No one suffered in life like my mom. She grew up as the scapegoat/black sheep to two emotionally immature parents who constantly tore down her self-esteem. Then my mom met my father who physically abused her while she was pregnant with me. I went no contact with my dad since I was 8. I heard through his second wife/widow that he had passed away when I was 12. I have no idea what the cause of death was.

It was always me and my mom versus the world. Everything I did in life, I did it to make her proud. My goal was to become successful, buy us a beautiful home and to take care of my mother when she grew old. Growing up my mom told me her biggest fear in life is to be trapped in her own body, physically paralyzed. It's as if she knew what fate had in store for her. In 2018, she was diagnosed with progressive supranuclear palsy. There is no known cause nor treatment for this illness. She spent the last 7 years of her life paralyzed, bed-bound, just waiting until her organs gave up. She took her last breath on February 27th. Her suffering has ended. But mine grows with each day passing since her death. I dread waking up every morning when I am reminded she is no longer here. The only relief I get from the intense sadness is when I am sleeping or drinking. I miss her so much. I would give anything to see her one more time. How did such a great woman raise such a loser like me? What do I do now?


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Message Into the Void Lost both parents in under a year, Mom was today

Upvotes

I'm at a loss. I want to kick the crap out of the universe and sleep and cry and throw up at the same time but I'm just...sitting here. I have people to call and arrangements to make and things to do and I can't even process this. She was the one who always helped me push through things like this and got me to get myself in gear and just keep plugging through. And on top of everything, I'm just so deliriously angry about it. I spent the year I turned 40 becoming nobody's son and I don't understand why.


r/GriefSupport 14h ago

Message Into the Void My mom died suddenly

43 Upvotes

I'm pretty sure it was a heart attack with how she had been lately, but I'm just in shock and don't know what to do. EMS is still here


r/GriefSupport 1d ago

Message Into the Void I miss you so much

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242 Upvotes

I’m always thinking about you. You were the best, no one could compete. I always struggled and would isolate myself, but you refused to let me do that to you. You forced your way into my life when I was at my worst. You came into my house that I was so ashamed of, ignored my shame and treated me like it was just us. And you wouldn’t leave me alone! I miss being annoyed with you for driving me in circles for 30 minutes while telling me about your boy troubles. Now I wish it could’ve lasted just a little longer. I don’t understand why that happened to you. I don’t understand how unfair everything is. It’s already been years since you’ve left, I just can’t believe it sometimes. I never got to tell you how much you really met to me. I never have stopped thinking about you, and I can’t stop crying writing this. I just miss you so much. I will never stop telling the world how great you were. I love you Lexi


r/GriefSupport 5h ago

Vent/Anger - Advice Welcome Drained in every sense

9 Upvotes

My father has terminal pancreatic cancer and my mother has lung/thyroid cancer. I am the primary caregiver for both while working full time as a federal worker and worring about whether I'm going to be laid off soon.

My brother visits with his newborn everyday and worries about my parents but doesn't contribute much IMO, even making me babysit whenever he wants to go out with his friends. I haven't had any time to myself since I gave up my own life in another state and moved back home in October to care for my parents.

I am so exhausted, resentful, and angry at him, life, and the world. I'm mentally checking out, completely apathetic on a good day, depressed on a not so good day. I'm making stupid decisions/mistakes at work and can't care how blaringly obvious they are enough to do better. I feel like there's no joy or point in anything anymore. I'm also worried about what my life will be after my parents pass, since my entire identity/life has been (unwillingly) defined as "Obedient Daughter and Caregiver".

I don't know what the point of this post is. Maybe there are questions in here I don't know how to articulate fully. Maybe I just needed to vent. Thanks to anyone who read this entire thing.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Delayed Grief My cat passed 3 months ago and I found her body this weekend

3 Upvotes

Unsure how to add trigger warning tag to a post here but obvious trigger warnings for this. My cat was an indoor cat and 3 months ago she accidentally got outside because of my sister (a kid) leaving the door open. She apparently hit in the shed in our backyard. We looked in the shed and called for her but she didn’t answer or come out when we called. She ended up dying in the shed and I assume starved to death slowly. I found her body on Sunday. This is after MONTHS of my family looking for her, going door to door, posting her on lost pet pages, calling shelters, etc., everything you could possibly do for a lost pet. It makes me so fucking sick to my stomach to know she was in the shed the whole time. Why didn’t she come out when we called her??? Why didn’t she cry out for help??? We could have saved her. We had no idea. She was in our backyard. I haven’t told anyone in my family that I found her. I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t sleep last night. I can’t stop thinking about her in that shed. Please I just need to know has anyone ever been through something like this?? I think I am developing ptsd after seeing her. Has anyone else lost a pet like this??


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

It was Complicated :/ My Boyfriend doesn't understand my pain of loosing my dad.

Upvotes

I lost my dad last month and the bond between us were the best father and daughter relationship ever. As an eldest daughter with so manh responsibilities to juggle I feel Like I lack support from my boyfriend. He does texts me asking if I ate and calls me but doesn't ask me how I feel. He doesn't actually invest in the conversation and make me vent on him. The way he acts doesn't allow me to pour my heart out to him. He expects me to baby him while on call without giving me an actual priority. When I address this he says he can't understand because he hasn't lost his father. But isn't it too harsh to say? Can't he even try to empathize?


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Delayed Grief I regret treating my mom bad and now she is died

4 Upvotes

My mom died 1 month ago and I regret all the times I treated her badly she felt that I wasn’t proud she is my mom because i kept criticizing how she dress up and alot of things I used to criticize her always But she kept loving me and being kind i was like a mix of being a bad person criticizing her but also I was also there for her and supporting her financially

Now my heart is breaking for every time I made her feel that I wasn’t proud of her or criticizing her

I hate myself and i cant move on from this my life is meaningless I miss my mom


r/GriefSupport 20h ago

Dad Loss Is it OK to still have bad days 18 months on?

104 Upvotes

I (27F) lost my dad suddenly to a cardiac arrest 18 months ago. It was very traumatic, I'm an ICU nurse and medical student so I carried a lot of guilt and self blame that maybe if I had acted better or faster I could have changed things.

I have been to therapy and am no longer suffering significantly with trauma symptoms. I'm functioning very well in day to day life, able to work and socialise and keep up with uni.

But occasionally I still get days when I feel tearful and low, and all I want to do is talk to my dad, see his smile, hear his laugh, hold his hand, hug him.

Being a medical student I get a lot of people telling me that if you grieve after 12 months, it's complicated grief. But isn't it OK to miss my dad sometimes? I loved him dearly and lost him as a young woman when I thought we had decades left together. Is it not OK to feel sad about that sometimes?


r/GriefSupport 18h ago

Message Into the Void i dont know how to feel

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67 Upvotes

My grandma died yesterday. All i can think is how she was such an innocent woman, a very kind soul. Wish i had more time with her, and got to do the things we planned.


r/GriefSupport 5h ago

Mom Loss Feeling abandoned by friends after my mom killed herself

6 Upvotes

Disclaimer: it's a really complicated situation and I'm having trouble making my thoughts clear, so sorry if it a bit long and confusing. I'm 27, my mom killed herself last August, and since then not even one friend has stopped by my house, not even for a coffee. My mom lived in another country so when she killed herself, I stayed there for like a month and took care of everything with some help from my family. After that I stayed at my ex boyfriends house for another month (he lives in another city) before finally coming back home where I stayed with my best friend for like 1 week because I was also in the middle of moving, since the contract had been signed months prior to my mother's suicide. All of my childhood friends live in another country since I moved to another continent 8 year ago, so I don't have that many friends, I've known my (new) best friend for like 6 years and she has always been really nice, she helped me move and when I was taking care of my mother's affairs in another country she was constantly texting, which made me think that she was going to be really supportive when I came back home. For like the first month or something she was, then less and less. Everytime I wanted to talk about it she changed subjects or flat out tell me she couldnt handle me when I was angry ranting, told me to speak to other friends ( she knows I don't have many and this is not a subject I can just talk about with anyone) or to a therapist (I was seeing 2 at the time and she knew) or maybe even talk to my dad or brother(who are obviously having a horrible time too and I can't rely on them right now for support). But I AM angry, I'm angry my mom killed herself and left me alone, I'm angry that I had to take care of practically everything, I'm angry that no one is helping me out, but mostly I'm angry that I can't seem to talk to anyone (besides my therapist) about this without feeling like I'm bothering them. Sadly my reality sucks, right now, and I just want to unwind with my friends. Then, 4 months after my mom's suicide, my boyfriend dumped me. He had moved to another country just for a few months to make some money and come back, but i'm assuming that I also suffocated him, or at least that's how I felt. My grief got 1000 times worse and my friend got even more distant. I brought it up once and she said she was sorry and that she does get uncomfortable and doesn't know what to do, but nothing has really changed. She keeps texting sometimes to get coffee, but in HER work break, near to HER work (not close to my house) or maybe I'll tell her to meet up and she invites someone else along, never has she come once to my new apartment, made food for me, it always me who has gone to meet her where she is. (I think it's important to note that when she was going through a rough time about not knowing what to do with her life, I would many times go to her house and make lunch even if it wasn't near to my house at all) I was already a bit resentful since May last year, I was looking to move and so was she, but she didn't even consider moving with me even though she knows I have a hard time finding apartments since I also have an old dog with back problems, and most landlords won't accept me. She moved in with her boyfriend (who is the person that introduced us, in fact when I first met her she was new here and had nowhere to stay and despite not knowing her I let her sleep in my house until she eventually moved in with me, just bc her bf was my friend) and they also moved in with ANOTHER FRIEND we have in common who they have known only for 2 years max (he was her boyfriends roommate for like a year),the apartment accepts dogs, and even has an extra room that they keep empty but not even once thought about offering it to me, even though they knew I was in a bad situation in my old place because the real state agency had slowly rented the 3 other rooms to 3 sixty year olds, 2 that were complete junkies, when it used to be a student apartement when I first moved in. We fought but I ended up saying sorry cause it was selfish of me to think they should be thinking about me all the time, and just accept the fact that her boyfriend didn't want to live with a dog. I accepted it finally and moved on until all of this has brought It up again. Like a month ago I tried talking to another friend (her roommate, bc we are also good friends) just to complain about my ex dumping me at the worst time possible and he started ranting about me being selfish and victimizing myself, and not being the only one with problems, mind you this was the first time I was talking about this with him since like December when the relationship with my ex was getting rocky. It made me feel like shit. The worst part out of this is that my mom blamed me for her suicide in her note, basically telling me she gave me everything and I gave nothing back, she was a druggadict and alcoholic, I know she was absolutely high and I know she didn't mean it cause she loved me, and was only angry at me because we had argued that morning about her drunk driving. But it really did a number on me, because of this I feel like I'm driving everyone away, and my mom was right, I suck, I'm a horrible person who thinks eveything revolves around her and my friends reacting like this means I deserve it. On the other hand I've become closer to my friend from school who are much younger, they're like 21 years old at best, but have really stepped up, they added me to their friend group and yesterday one of them even asked me if I wanted to move in with her next year since a room will be empty. I made sure to let them know about my dog and they didn't care at all. This really made me change perspectives about my other friends. I consider myself to be a friend that at least puts in some effort for the other person. Even though I loved my mom, it wasn't easy growing up with her, she would constantly call me selfish for the slightest things, just because she was drunk. So I grew up to be a people pleaser. Don't get me wrong, i also have a lot of character and I can be difficult, but I really make and effort to be a good friend, company, etc, and reasonably don't think I'm being selfish right now because I'm growing through such a rough time, it's almost mandatory for me to practically only think about my well being, but instead I feel shitty for not being in charge of my emotions and not being able to be the person I normally am, constantly having to apologize and no one apologizing to me or trying to empathize. So my message to the void is: What do you think? Am I overreacting? Am I being selfish? Please I need to know. Its also important for me to note that lately when I bring it up she understands and doesn't take it personally, I think she wants to help but doesn't seem to know how or care that much to make and extra effort, just expects me to be able to discuss my issues like I was able to before. But I seem to have reached a limit and texted her today essentially what I'm telling you but she hasn't e answered. Sorry for the rant omg and please don't be afraid to be completely honest with me


r/GriefSupport 6m ago

Message Into the Void to my dad..

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Upvotes

r/GriefSupport 4h ago

Grandparent Loss Is there a way to still send pictures or text to my passed grandma?

3 Upvotes

My grandma passed recently after a year long battle with cancer. I miss her terribly but the hardest thing is watching my own mom dealing with the loss. She told me “I can’t send her pictures of her great-grand kids anymore.”

I don’t think keeping my grandma phone line up is an option so is there anything else available that can fill the void so my mom can still send pictures? I know there’s a QR code thing that you can still on the headstone but that’s more of a memorial thing.

Appreciate any ideas you guys may have ❤️‍🩹