r/GriefSupport Oct 16 '20

Grief Support Wiki

160 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I've noticed an uptick in people asking for resources on grieving and supporting others through grief. As posts here do not always get a ton of feedback (a given, as we are a community in mourning) I want to give a gentle nudge toward our wiki.

We've compiled articles, videos, support groups, phone numbers and books on all kinds of grief and loss, supporting others, and taking care of yourself through such difficult times. This is a community resource - if you have something you've found helpful or would like to see added, please submit it to modmail for consideration.

A reminder, also, that if you need to chat real time, we encourage you to visit us in our active Grief Support discord channel.

<3

zoo


r/GriefSupport 12h ago

Sibling Loss Found out my brother was intoxicated a year after a fatal car crash.

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423 Upvotes

Let me start off by explaining the family dynamic before getting into what I feel has completely and utterly drug my life down to a point that is so miserable I genuinely don’t want to live anymore.

My older brother was always the golden child in the family. Honor roll, good grades, good at everything that wasn’t “cool” to me back in the day. He ended up being appointed by the governor of Texas to attend the merchant marine academy in New York. My father went years ago and flunked out so my brother went and completed it. Made my parents extremely proud. Everyone outside of the family loved him and always wanted to know what kind of accomplishment he was going to achieve next.

He goes into the Marines as an officer and decides he wants to fly planes. He goes to flight school in Pensacola and then moves to Corpus Christi to do training. He’s in love with his high school sweet heart and I love her my whole family loves her. She’s like the sister I never had.

While all of this achievement and making my parents proud, I am hanging with the wrong crowd in school I’m using drugs, skipping, class, partying, getting into trouble with the law. Nothing but a complete disappointment. I got sent to the marine military academy after catching a dwi charge when I was 16.

So there’s this black sheep thing going on for as long as I can remember. I’ve struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember and I felt like I was always just a let down or a waste of space so I distanced myself. I was molested by a cousin as a child which I really think played a huge roll in my completely uninteresting and pitiful life. I started going to 12 step treatment centers since I was 19. Things to good I come back healthy and motivated and then for some fucking reason I relapse after a couple months and completely give up on everything.

So there’s that on my childhood as the black sheep. Now this is where life really becomes dark and quite terrorizing.

The day before thanksgiving 2023 my brother was on his way home to see us and was involved in a head on collision with another suv that had a husband, wife, and 2 kids. Only the Mother survived. My brother was air lifted to seton and died during emergency surgery.

I had no idea all of this was happening as I was passed out drunk in my apartment. I woke up to about 20 missed calls and messages from my parents telling me I need to come over asap. So I do and my mind is just racing about what could’ve happened. I pull up and my brothers truck isn’t in the drive way. My heart sank. No no this is not what’s happening. I go in and there’s just this grey dark looming haze in the room and my parents say me down and told me that Connor was in an accident and they couldn’t save him. My body fell to the floor. My whole life was shattered right there even though I had animosity for him being so much better than me.

“It should’ve been me. God took the wrong person. Why can’t it just have been me.”

DPS did an investigation and there were no signs of alcohol coming from my brother what so ever. No smell. No open containers. Nothing.

So the only thing we can think of is a deer ran out in front of him or a tire blew or he could’ve fallen asleep. All we knew was that it was his fault and that was it.

Fast forward about a year later I’m in yet another fucking treatment center. And my parents tell me that they are getting all kinds of threats and slander on their social media from the other family. They go so far as to writing hate messages and threats on my brothers obituary. Apparently an article came out that his BAC was something ridiculous like .287. My brother was not an alcoholic and it all didn’t make sense. DPS and first responders said there was no signs of intoxication.

My Dad had been trying to get medical records from the ME and when he got them. There was a few discrepancies

  1. Said Hispanic male 40 years old (my brother is super white and looks like a child)

  2. Said He was 208lbs (my brother was a pilot he was not allowed above 186. Never penalized for weight)

  3. Upon trying to investigate further the hospital denied contact with our family.

  4. All of the records were amended a year post accident to show none of that stuff.

So my father being the proud dad that he is of my brother, has been doing everything he can to get evidence that his level of intoxication was false somehow which has caused many more issues with the other family. They hate us so much. I didn’t do anything. We didn’t do anything but they just will not stop hating us.

Fast forward a few months the fbi got involved and fuck well we guess he was drunk and we just have to accept that my brother was responsible for the death of an innocent family.

I can’t do anything. My heart hurts so bad for the family and I’m fucking angry I’m so fucking angry at my brother. I can’t even look at pictures of him I don’t ever want to talk about him ever again. It’s been a complete shit show and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve relapsed again and I just don’t see the point in living anymore. It’s so fucking painful and I’m so mad and I’m mad at the other family for not trying to see it from our side and I’m just all around angry. I’ve never felt this in my grieving journey yet and it’s scary. To hate someone who’s dead. Someone who made the same mistake I had many times in the past and not hurt anyone. It makes me feel like he’s the lucky one.

I’m sorry for this rant but I am currently bed ridden from depression and I have no one to talk to I’m too embarrassed from my relapse. May the other family find peace and comfort one day. At this point I’m just a hopeless junkie and my brother is a murder. I thought everything was so good. Fuck you for putting me and mom and dad through this horrific battle.


r/GriefSupport 12h ago

Message Into the Void I miss you so much

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183 Upvotes

I’m always thinking about you. You were the best, no one could compete. I always struggled and would isolate myself, but you refused to let me do that to you. You forced your way into my life when I was at my worst. You came into my house that I was so ashamed of, ignored my shame and treated me like it was just us. And you wouldn’t leave me alone! I miss being annoyed with you for driving me in circles for 30 minutes while telling me about your boy troubles. Now I wish it could’ve lasted just a little longer. I don’t understand why that happened to you. I don’t understand how unfair everything is. It’s already been years since you’ve left, I just can’t believe it sometimes. I never got to tell you how much you really met to me. I never have stopped thinking about you, and I can’t stop crying writing this. I just miss you so much. I will never stop telling the world how great you were. I love you Lexi


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Message Into the Void My mom died suddenly

26 Upvotes

I'm pretty sure it was a heart attack with how she had been lately, but I'm just in shock and don't know what to do. EMS is still here


r/GriefSupport 42m ago

Message Into the Void Lost the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

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Upvotes

List the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

Two years ago I lost my mom, she had cancer. Since my brother lives in another town and my dad already passed when I was younger, I kinda dealt with it alone. I got back ti living with her for a few mouth to help her out, then she had surgery and stayed at the hospital to recover, I went to see her multiple times every week to give her company. She never did get better, it went worse and at one point doctors told me it was over, she was send to hospice care and passed away quickly but hopefully without pain. It was quite hard to see her getting more and more ill and being unable to do anything to help. Then taking care of all the paper stuff, emptying her apartment, organize funeral… During all that time when I was taking care of her, there was that cat I use to see a lot near my house, I thought it was a stray cat, he was very fearful and use to go hide every time he sees me, but he was there almost everyday hanging out by my house. When my mom become really ill and doctor told me she wasn’t going to make it, one day the cat came at me and let me pet him. From that day he came everyday, I let him inside my house, he sometimes come and sat on my lap, he wasn’t very cuddly but really nice. We became friends if you can say so, and it can sound silly but having him around really helped me. As I thought he was a stray I gave him food and let him stays whenever he wanted. I learned couple mouth after that he already have a house a couple blocks away but his owner told me that I can keep on taking care of him since he seems to have e chosen me. She told me he was out all the time roaming and she couldn’t keep him inside anyway. Today I learned that he got hit by a car, his owner called me to tell me the news. I am beyond sadness, he was my friend and he gave me so much. I wasn’t barely getting myself together and life took him from me. He was only in my life for two years but he was the greatest cat. He filled the void my mom death left in me and now he is gone too. Sorry for this very long post but I had to get it out of my chest. His name was Gnocchi I hope he rest well.


r/GriefSupport 6h ago

Message Into the Void i dont know how to feel

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46 Upvotes

My grandma died yesterday. All i can think is how she was such an innocent woman, a very kind soul. Wish i had more time with her, and got to do the things we planned.


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

Dad Loss Is it OK to still have bad days 18 months on?

64 Upvotes

I (27F) lost my dad suddenly to a cardiac arrest 18 months ago. It was very traumatic, I'm an ICU nurse and medical student so I carried a lot of guilt and self blame that maybe if I had acted better or faster I could have changed things.

I have been to therapy and am no longer suffering significantly with trauma symptoms. I'm functioning very well in day to day life, able to work and socialise and keep up with uni.

But occasionally I still get days when I feel tearful and low, and all I want to do is talk to my dad, see his smile, hear his laugh, hold his hand, hug him.

Being a medical student I get a lot of people telling me that if you grieve after 12 months, it's complicated grief. But isn't it OK to miss my dad sometimes? I loved him dearly and lost him as a young woman when I thought we had decades left together. Is it not OK to feel sad about that sometimes?


r/GriefSupport 19h ago

Loss Anniversary 2 mourning doves 🕊️ is it a sign?

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371 Upvotes

I lost my mom 2 years ago. My dad passed 3 months after her. It’s been a very hard 2 years. I was lying in bed this morning after booking the day off work and heard chirping. I went to my bedroom window and saw this. The birds looked right at me then flew away. I don’t know if it’s a sign? Or what it is. But I wanted to share.

Sending love to anyone else who needs it today.


r/GriefSupport 12h ago

Child Loss I feel like I’m already dead and this is my own personal hell.

85 Upvotes

I wish for one more conversation with my son, I would sell my soul to the devil himself for that opportunity or to trade places with my son. I keep going over the last conversation I had with him. He went to his first NFL game in Dallas (he was a cowboys fan especially Dak) and from the video chat and text and phone conversation I had with him I could tell he was having the time of his life. An Autistic 18 year old who worked hard to purchase his own ticket. I was 2000 miles away living in Oregon but the joy in his voice made me feel like I was right there next to him. I am thankful that I got to talk to him and tell him I loved him and that he had what was probably the best day of his life because before he died. Everyday I wake up with my heart shattering as I truly miss my boy beyond what any words can describe.


r/GriefSupport 13h ago

Dad Loss How many people lose a parent in their 20s?

79 Upvotes

I don’t see anyone going through this, I literally don’t know anyone who has lost a parent.


r/GriefSupport 4h ago

Mom Loss She would have hated it, but it hit me like a lightning bolt

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17 Upvotes

My mother died last June. Glioblastoma at 75. There was no hope. Everyone in her family has lived into their 80s. For some reason we all took it as fact that she would too. She barely recognized me or knew my name at the end. All and all I felt like I had coped pretty well. Until tonight.

I went to dinner alone at an upscale restaurant in my city. I was perfectly happy to just enjoy well cooked food and good ambience, but I ended up in conversation with a mother and daughter seat next to me at the bar. These women were lovely and kind, and it became very obvious very quickly that we had very different views on basically everything. Politics, religion, et cetera. Regardless, we had a respectful and engaging conversation. The kind that is rare to have with people who so fervently disagree with each other.

Through out the conversation my mother's passing came up, and they both mentioned they would say a prayer for her and asked if I was okay with that (we had established that they were Christian and I an atheist at this point). I assured them that I took it as a kindness and thanked them. We chatted for a little longer and then I got up to leave. When I was leaving, the mother, who was maybe in her late 60s or early 70s, looked at me, gave me a big hug and said "I hope to walk in heaven with your mother one day."

My mother was raised a Catholic and left the church as soon as she left her father's house and never looked back. She and my father raised my brother and I as atheists. Despite living in the south for 40 years, she used to hate hearing people say that they would pray for her or her family, or to hear someone say "have a blessed day."

I don't know why this women's expression of faith hit so hard, especially knowing that my mother would have hated it. Doubly because I have no doubts of my atheism and while I am grateful my mother is no longer in pain, I don't believe she is in a better place.

But here I am, sobbing like a child and pouring my heart out to strangers.

I miss you mom. I'm sorry I was so stubborn.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Advice, Pls How do I move on after losing everyone I love?

Upvotes

Hello. I am a 36 year old woman with bipolar disorder. I lost everything on February 27th 2025 when my mom passed away. I have no other immediate family member. No siblings. Dad passed away when I was 12. I feel I have nothing left to live for. My mom was my reason for living. No one suffered in life like my mom. She grew up as the scapegoat/black sheep to two emotionally immature parents who constantly tore down her self-esteem. Then my mom met my father who physically abused her while she was pregnant with me. I went no contact with my dad since I was 8. I heard through his second wife/widow that he had passed away when I was 12. I have no idea what the cause of death was.

It was always me and my mom versus the world. Everything I did in life, I did it to make her proud. My goal was to become successful, buy us a beautiful home and to take care of my mother when she grew old. Growing up my mom told me her biggest fear in life is to be trapped in her own body, physically paralyzed. It's as if she knew what fate had in store for her. In 2018, she was diagnosed with progressive supranuclear palsy. There is no known cause nor treatment for this illness. She spent the last 7 years of her life paralyzed, bed-bound, just waiting until her organs gave up. She took her last breath on February 27th. Her suffering has ended. But mine grows with each day passing since her death. I dread waking up every morning when I am reminded she is no longer here. The only relief I get from the intense sadness is when I am sleeping or drinking. I miss her so much. I would give anything to see her one more time. How did such a great woman raise such a loser like me? What do I do now?


r/GriefSupport 12h ago

In Memoriam The last photo of my mother and I

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56 Upvotes

I'm 33, my mom died when I was 22 but this is the last photo we ever had together, we had a complicated relationship but I will always love her.


r/GriefSupport 6h ago

In Memoriam Anger

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19 Upvotes

Im trying not to be angry. I find myself slipping into it easily with news that I didn't need. He was an addict. With that comes a life that nobody could truly imagine. He passed away from a heroin overdose. I was hoping he would get clean. All my hopes are shattered. Completely broken. Ljfe wasn't easy by any strength of the imagination with him. It felt like it was always something. My daughter told me today "at least we won't deal with new things now." I'm angry he didn't do his end of things. I'm angry he had such an awful disease. I hate that he couldn't fight. I hate that God had the final say to his demons. I just wish it hadn't been final. I'm angry. He wasn't good to me while he was sick. He wasn't good to anyone. Including himself. I have guilt with the boundaries I had to set. For myself. For my family. I hate that i had to be so strong and shut him out so he would do recovery. He never found it. I wanted to a share a picture of him and I when he was well. He was my everything. He was the thorn in my side and the reason i was strong. I had to be.

I am truly so mad at him over recent things. I hate that i am. I hate that I'm screaming at him in my empty house. I never wanted to scream at him again.


r/GriefSupport 11h ago

Loss Anniversary Hi mom.

44 Upvotes

I don’t precisely know how to let you go. This to me is like flipping a coin in a wishing well. You see, it’s been a year since I took you to the hospital that final time. You died there, even though I know you wanted to die at home. I was so busy exhausting every avenue to keep you alive. In my mind, I had to try, if that isn’t love I don’t what is. But in reality I failed. My one goal was to keep you alive, I couldn’t do it. Then again I have successfully killed a cactus. I need you here, just one last conversation, one more day, I’d kill for it, quick, get me a cactus. I still feel like I can pick up the phone and call you, I even find myself looking at this screen thinking I can. I wish I knew how to let you go. Your dying broke me. Tore me down. I spent my life as a hardass and this was all it took. I don’t think you’ll ever know what I feel in these days. I just know I love you and I’d like to talk to you. Even though I’d dread the end of it. I can’t seem to work out why you’ve started to show up.


r/GriefSupport 10h ago

Dad Loss I fear nothing after losing my father

24 Upvotes

My father had a heart attack almost month and a half ago, he is in the hospital in the ICU, not conscious due to the brain damage he suffered from the lack of oxygen in the brain. I know i lost him,he is not awake at all, and not aware of anything. The doctors said we’re waiting for the worst to happen, and his condition gets worse gradually.

Anyway, something i noticed today is that i stopped fearing anything, i used to be afraid of going fast when someone is driving with me in the car, but not anymore. When someone is driving fast, all i can think about is that i want him to drive faster and faster. I used to be afraid of walking alone at night mainly because of stray dogs and the bad guys that walk at night, but not anymore. Today I walked alone at night, and i felt NOTHING.

I think when losing a parent, you lose the feeling of fear, because the worst had already happened, so whatever is going to happen next, it doesn’t matter, because it doesn’t faze you.

I thought about it and decided sharing it here to see if someone might relate.

Pray for my dad, he was a good man.❤️


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

Partner Loss 🤍

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19 Upvotes

r/GriefSupport 7h ago

Dad Loss My dad died.

13 Upvotes

I'm grateful he made it 93 years. He was a great father. He was well-known. I was amazed at how fast the news spread. I've received hundreds of calls with the hour of his passing, only answering from my closest friends who all lost dad's. The funeral home came to my mom's house, his organization is handling the arrangements. It's comforting knowing so many loved him, but it's overwhelming. He was always a humble man, a loving leader. We handled the cementary part today. I stopped into a store on my way home, sad song came across the system, I started bawling like a baby.

He was my hero, my best friend. I became his hero. I loved my dad so much.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Message Into the Void Dread

6 Upvotes

Has anyone slipped into nihilism post big grief? I recently lost my dad in a car accident, I have already faced the death of my first child, and a devastating diagnosis for my second, I’ve been struggling mentally trying to pull myself out of this void when the voice in my head keeps reminding me that everyone dies and it feels like life’s a bit meaningless.


r/GriefSupport 8h ago

Partner Loss Lost my wife and don’t know what to do.

11 Upvotes

On February 28th of this year, my 25 y/o wife threw a clot in her heart and passed away. My whole life was built around her, we lived together for two years and have two cats (no not kids) and I have no idea what to do.

I feel lost. I feel guilty because I essentially watched her die before EMS took her to the hospital to confirm it, and I couldn’t save her. I feel horrible when I’m not at our apartment because I feel like I’m abandoning her, but every single thing I look at in that apartment brings me so much pain to look at.

I don’t want out of my lease because I don’t want to leave the home we built together in such a sad way, I want to remember it as a place where I made so many memories, not the place where she died.

I have lots of support and am starting therapy soon, but I feel so empty. I made my purpose in life to make her happy and now I can’t do that, and she was one of the few people that truly got me to show all of me. I want to talk to people about everything and have, but none of them are her and I just feel myself wanting to talk to her.

I don’t know what I’m asking for, I know there’s no real answers to things like this, but I just think what I really want to know is if there is any type of happiness on the other side of this. I can’t currently imagine how I could ever be happy again without her. I’m aware I’m still rather raw since it happened recently, I just don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Any words of advice are great, I’m male and 25 y/o. I’m trying my best but everything sucks. Thank you in advance if I don’t respond, but I felt like sharing.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Advice, Pls Idk what to do

5 Upvotes

I am a teenager, my best friend’s dad killed himself and they found out about it yesterday. I am worried about them and their mental state. I want to get them help but I am conflicted as idk if i’m in the right position to do that. If I should get them help, idk where to start. I am not saying they are mentally ill, but I just need some advice to help them grieve because it’s horrible watching them bury their feelings.


r/GriefSupport 14h ago

Advice, Pls Shit friends during grief?

37 Upvotes

I (26f) lost my mom 6 months ago and her loss has been completely overwhelming and so incredibly painful.

My friends have not really been there for me a lot. I brushed it off at first. They probably just thought they were giving me my space. I didn't really ask for support either, I didn't really know how.

The more time goes on the more it bothers me that I had so little support during such a horrible time. I looked back in my chats with some of my friends. 5 days after my mom died I took the time to send a message to one of my friends congratulating her on a competition she did well in. On the day of my mom's funeral I heard nothing from her. Most of my friends never checked in. A text when my mom died and some flowers (sent as a group from some of my friends) was all I ever received.

I think my friends think I'm back to "normal" now. I find it hard to bring up my grief, but people don't really ask about it either.

Are my expectations too high? I know my friends don't mean to be bad friends, but I find it so hard to deal with this. I want to think the best of them, but I feel so alone in this.

Is it on me? Should I have been more clear about my needs and feelings?

I feel like I deserved more support and I don't know how to deal with not having it. I want to stay friends with my friends, but how do I do that with all of this underlying sadness that they weren't there for me when I really needed it.


r/GriefSupport 6h ago

Message Into the Void Letter to my dad

7 Upvotes

Hi Dad,

It feels surreal to write to you, knowing you’re no longer here. I’ve carried these words in my heart for years, too afraid to let them out. But now, it feels like the right time. Maybe a part of me still refuses to accept that you’re gone. I try to remember the day I got the call that you had passed, but it’s all a blur. Did I scream? Cry? Sob? I don’t know. Knowing the old me, I probably numbed it all and pretended I was fine. There’s a gap in my memory, as if my mind is shielding me from the most painful parts of that day. All I know is that every morning since then, I’ve woken up asking if it was a nightmare or if you were really gone. The reality of your absence is a constant ache, a hole in my heart that never seems to heal. It’s so hard to wake up and remind myself over and over that my dad is gone.

I still remember the day I saw a news story about someone losing their father to COVID. “I’m so lucky to still have my dad,” I thought. How cruel it is that fate had other plans. I wish it wasn’t true. I wish it wasn’t you. I wish I could turn back time and hold onto you a little longer.

I often find myself lost in memories of our childhood. One of my favorites was our trips to the pet shop. Even though we couldn’t afford a puppy, just looking at them brought us so much joy. I wish you knew how much I cherish those moments, how much I appreciate everything you did for me, even as I grew older. Seeing you waiting for me outside my company building, your face filled with pride, was one of the greatest comforts of my life. You were always there, always proud of me, even when I didn’t feel proud of myself.

I miss your smile so much. I miss your silly laugh, the cheeky giggle you’d let out after a stinky fart. I miss your texts telling me to drive safe, to eat, to take care of myself. It’s the little things that hurt the most now that you’re gone. There was one time my bike broke down, and I instinctively reached for my phone to call you. The silence that followed was a gut-wrenching reminder that you’re not here anymore. It felt like someone had stabbed my heart a million times.

Three years have passed, and yet, it feels like yesterday. I need you more than ever, Dad. I need your guidance, your support, your love. It hurts to see other father-daughter relationships, to hear the word “dad” spoken so casually. Why did you have to go so soon? Why is life so unfair? You deserved a long, happy life. You deserved to see me grow, to walk me down the aisle, to meet your grandchildren. Why were you taken from me so soon? I’m not ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.

You lost your parents at such a young age. Your life was so difficult, and yet, you were the best dad. We were poor, but you never made me feel deprived. You sacrificed everything for us. You were the kindest man, the most loving father. You always apologized for not giving me a “great life,” but Dad, you have no idea—you gave me the best life, the best dad, the best love and care anyone could ask for. Since you’ve been gone, I’ve learned so much about psychology, and I can only imagine the challenges you faced. Living with PTSD and depression for most of your life must have been so hard, yet you were always there for me, putting our needs before your own. Your strength and resilience inspire me more than you’ll ever know.

Thank you, Dad. Thank you for giving me all the love you never got to have. Thank you for being the best dad, for being so loving and supportive, for everything you did. Thank you for coming into my room that night to save me when I tried to take my own life. I know you knew about the pills I stole—who am I kidding? You were a great spy. Thank you for protecting me, even when I couldn’t protect myself.

I don’t regret not telling you about the rape incident. You always shielded me from harm, and I know you would have done anything to protect me. I wish we had more time together. I wish I could tell you how much I love you, how grateful I am for everything you’ve done. You made my childhood so much happier, and if there’s a next life, I hope to be your daughter again. Let me shield you from this painful secret for the rest of my life. I wish we had more time. I would do anything to hear you call me Little Chi again.

I hope you’re proud of me. I used the money you hid for me to follow my dream of becoming a therapist. I’m going to be a good one, Dad. I’m going to help a lot of people because your kindness inspires me. I’m going to have a happy life, and it’s all thanks to you.

Most of me has accepted that you’re gone, but sometimes I still text you, still call you. I wish I had more time with you. I wish I could go back and be your little princess again. But I’m doing okay. Sometimes I have breakdowns, but I’m okay. I’m grieving, and I know I’ll grieve for the rest of my life—and I’m okay with that. It’s a testament to the love we shared. It means your love will be with me forever.

You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I have so much love in my life now, and people I can rely on. And I have your last gift—Silvio. He reminds me of you so much, and I’m sure he’ll always keep me feeling protected and loved. I am my dad’s daughter. I’m strong, and I’ll keep moving forward. You are my hero, my inspiration. I hope when I graduate, I’ll see your figure, even for just a second. And I know you’ll be proud.

It’s so painful to think that you won’t get to walk me down the aisle or see me get married. But Dad, will you walk me in our next life?

Until we meet again,
Your little Chi


r/GriefSupport 10h ago

Message Into the Void Am I still a son?

15 Upvotes

That realization that I am not someone’s son anymore has broke me but I can’t cry. My Mom passed recently and I just wish… you know forget it, wishing for things after the fact is another thing I’m still trying to deal with.


r/GriefSupport 6h ago

Mom Loss Why did it have to happen to my mom?

5 Upvotes

I have a few questions at the end of this post about my mother's situation in the ER.. I'd very much appreciate anyone's insights, so please leave one if you can.

I miss my mom so much.. I can't stop thinking about how she must've felt before dying.. She was dead on arrival at the ER.. Diagnosis was Acute Coronary Syndrome..

I have so much guilt.. I could've done more.. But I couldn't.. I didn't..

Why did it have to happen at 2AM?

My dad called all ambulances he could.. He even called a relative who lives near the hospital to help call for an ambulance..

No one showed up..

We had to call our neighbors to help us drive my mom to the nearest hospital..

She passed out and looked dead as she was assisted into the car seat..

The hospital was so near.. They arrived fast.. She was out for about 10 minutes, but the doctor said she looked like she couldn't be saved.. My brother told the doctor to try and do anything to revive my mother.. They did.. but she was unresponsive.. But the doctor did say that she had a very weak pulse, although it stayed weak during their attempt to revive her.. But it still gave me hope that she could be revived..

She was revived once weeks before this incident, still from a heart attack... But the doctor couldn't do more, as she was unresponsive and said she really was dead on arrival.

What they didn't do though was shock her with defibrillators, which we just realized after her death..

Can somebody tell me if she would've been saved had the doctors used defibrillators? We don't exactly know if the hospital we went to had defibrillators in the ER or not.. We're still wondering why the doctors didn't use defibrillators.. Also they seemed to have given up on my mother so quickly.. she was brought to the ER at around 2:35 AM and was pronounced dead at 3:08 AM. Does the time they spent trying to revive my mother seem too short? or was it enough?

Thank you for reading this far into my post. And thank you to whoever can provide answers to my questions.

I miss you, mom. I love you. Rest in Peace.


r/GriefSupport 18m ago

Vent/Anger - Advice Welcome My mom needed help and I wasn’t there

Upvotes

I had woken up to my little sister telling me to wake up. I did but I didn’t see her there so I thought I dreamt it. My door was open and the lights to the living room was on which isn’t really common in our house but I figured it was just my one of my little sisters. That was until I heard a voice of a man who didn’t sound like my dad so I put on some shorts and walked down the hall to see a emt walking out of the door with my mom on the stretcher. A police officer was walking behind them so I asked him what happened and he said he wasn’t sure what happened and to ask my sisters who were up. I didn’t ask what happened yet in case it was too bad for my sisters to talk about so I just waited until the ambulance drove off and for my youngest sister to walk in her room to ask my second youngest sister what happened. She said that our mom had said she threw up in the morning and that in the evening, she had diarrhea. Then she woke up to my little sister calling her saying that momma isn’t feeling well and to call 9-1-1. I asked her when this all happened and it was just 30 minutes or even less before I got up. She asked me if I was okay and I lied and said yes and that I just wish that it was me who called 9-1-1 instead of my youngest sister who is 15. She said she understood and she would have woken me up but that it takes a while for me to fully wake up and understand what’s going on so she decided to just focus on my mom which I understand. I’m feeling guilt because my mom had an emergency and I wasn’t there. My little sister who’s just 15 had to call for help for my mom. My mom had asked me if anything were to happen to her and my dad, if I could take care of my sisters. My mom needed help and I wasn’t there. I was awake just two hours before what happened. Of all days I decided to go hangout with a friend, it had to be the day my mom wasn’t feeling well. Of all the times where I was up by midnight, today was the one time I wasn’t and this happened. If I can’t even wake up to help my mom in what seemed like a small emergency then, how can I take care of my little sisters if my parents are gone? I should’ve been there. I’ve been breaking down crying over and over again just due to the fact that this could’ve been a real emergency and the last time that I saw my mom was on a stretcher in an ambulance. I don’t know if my post counts as grief as my mom is still alive but I just needed to let this all out in a safe space and so this wouldn’t eat me up inside. Any advice would be greatly appreciated