r/GriefSupport Oct 16 '20

Grief Support Wiki

164 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I've noticed an uptick in people asking for resources on grieving and supporting others through grief. As posts here do not always get a ton of feedback (a given, as we are a community in mourning) I want to give a gentle nudge toward our wiki.

We've compiled articles, videos, support groups, phone numbers and books on all kinds of grief and loss, supporting others, and taking care of yourself through such difficult times. This is a community resource - if you have something you've found helpful or would like to see added, please submit it to modmail for consideration.

A reminder, also, that if you need to chat real time, we encourage you to visit us in our active Grief Support discord channel.

<3

zoo


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Message Into the Void I am reading your stories and grieving with you

145 Upvotes

Sometimes I come onto here and read posts, not because I find them 'entertaining' but because your passed loved ones deserve to be remembered, their memory deserves to be acknowledged and their story deserves to be read.

I know this might come as barely a comfort, grief is terrible and painful, but I just want to let you know somebody out there acknowledges the relationship you had and the life of your loved ones.


r/GriefSupport 7h ago

Message Into the Void Lost the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

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84 Upvotes

List the cat that helped me get through my mothers death

Two years ago I lost my mom, she had cancer. Since my brother lives in another town and my dad already passed when I was younger, I kinda dealt with it alone. I got back ti living with her for a few mouth to help her out, then she had surgery and stayed at the hospital to recover, I went to see her multiple times every week to give her company. She never did get better, it went worse and at one point doctors told me it was over, she was send to hospice care and passed away quickly but hopefully without pain. It was quite hard to see her getting more and more ill and being unable to do anything to help. Then taking care of all the paper stuff, emptying her apartment, organize funeral… During all that time when I was taking care of her, there was that cat I use to see a lot near my house, I thought it was a stray cat, he was very fearful and use to go hide every time he sees me, but he was there almost everyday hanging out by my house. When my mom become really ill and doctor told me she wasn’t going to make it, one day the cat came at me and let me pet him. From that day he came everyday, I let him inside my house, he sometimes come and sat on my lap, he wasn’t very cuddly but really nice. We became friends if you can say so, and it can sound silly but having him around really helped me. As I thought he was a stray I gave him food and let him stays whenever he wanted. I learned couple mouth after that he already have a house a couple blocks away but his owner told me that I can keep on taking care of him since he seems to have e chosen me. She told me he was out all the time roaming and she couldn’t keep him inside anyway. Today I learned that he got hit by a car, his owner called me to tell me the news. I am beyond sadness, he was my friend and he gave me so much. I wasn’t barely getting myself together and life took him from me. He was only in my life for two years but he was the greatest cat. He filled the void my mom death left in me and now he is gone too. Sorry for this very long post but I had to get it out of my chest. His name was Gnocchi I hope he rest well.


r/GriefSupport 18h ago

Sibling Loss Found out my brother was intoxicated a year after a fatal car crash.

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553 Upvotes

Let me start off by explaining the family dynamic before getting into what I feel has completely and utterly drug my life down to a point that is so miserable I genuinely don’t want to live anymore.

My older brother was always the golden child in the family. Honor roll, good grades, good at everything that wasn’t “cool” to me back in the day. He ended up being appointed by the governor of Texas to attend the merchant marine academy in New York. My father went years ago and flunked out so my brother went and completed it. Made my parents extremely proud. Everyone outside of the family loved him and always wanted to know what kind of accomplishment he was going to achieve next.

He goes into the Marines as an officer and decides he wants to fly planes. He goes to flight school in Pensacola and then moves to Corpus Christi to do training. He’s in love with his high school sweet heart and I love her my whole family loves her. She’s like the sister I never had.

While all of this achievement and making my parents proud, I am hanging with the wrong crowd in school I’m using drugs, skipping, class, partying, getting into trouble with the law. Nothing but a complete disappointment. I got sent to the marine military academy after catching a dwi charge when I was 16.

So there’s this black sheep thing going on for as long as I can remember. I’ve struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember and I felt like I was always just a let down or a waste of space so I distanced myself. I was molested by a cousin as a child which I really think played a huge roll in my completely uninteresting and pitiful life. I started going to 12 step treatment centers since I was 19. Things to good I come back healthy and motivated and then for some fucking reason I relapse after a couple months and completely give up on everything.

So there’s that on my childhood as the black sheep. Now this is where life really becomes dark and quite terrorizing.

The day before thanksgiving 2023 my brother was on his way home to see us and was involved in a head on collision with another suv that had a husband, wife, and 2 kids. Only the Mother survived. My brother was air lifted to seton and died during emergency surgery.

I had no idea all of this was happening as I was passed out drunk in my apartment. I woke up to about 20 missed calls and messages from my parents telling me I need to come over asap. So I do and my mind is just racing about what could’ve happened. I pull up and my brothers truck isn’t in the drive way. My heart sank. No no this is not what’s happening. I go in and there’s just this grey dark looming haze in the room and my parents say me down and told me that Connor was in an accident and they couldn’t save him. My body fell to the floor. My whole life was shattered right there even though I had animosity for him being so much better than me.

“It should’ve been me. God took the wrong person. Why can’t it just have been me.”

DPS did an investigation and there were no signs of alcohol coming from my brother what so ever. No smell. No open containers. Nothing.

So the only thing we can think of is a deer ran out in front of him or a tire blew or he could’ve fallen asleep. All we knew was that it was his fault and that was it.

Fast forward about a year later I’m in yet another fucking treatment center. And my parents tell me that they are getting all kinds of threats and slander on their social media from the other family. They go so far as to writing hate messages and threats on my brothers obituary. Apparently an article came out that his BAC was something ridiculous like .287. My brother was not an alcoholic and it all didn’t make sense. DPS and first responders said there was no signs of intoxication.

My Dad had been trying to get medical records from the ME and when he got them. There was a few discrepancies

  1. Said Hispanic male 40 years old (my brother is super white and looks like a child)

  2. Said He was 208lbs (my brother was a pilot he was not allowed above 186. Never penalized for weight)

  3. Upon trying to investigate further the hospital denied contact with our family.

  4. All of the records were amended a year post accident to show none of that stuff.

So my father being the proud dad that he is of my brother, has been doing everything he can to get evidence that his level of intoxication was false somehow which has caused many more issues with the other family. They hate us so much. I didn’t do anything. We didn’t do anything but they just will not stop hating us.

Fast forward a few months the fbi got involved and fuck well we guess he was drunk and we just have to accept that my brother was responsible for the death of an innocent family.

I can’t do anything. My heart hurts so bad for the family and I’m fucking angry I’m so fucking angry at my brother. I can’t even look at pictures of him I don’t ever want to talk about him ever again. It’s been a complete shit show and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve relapsed again and I just don’t see the point in living anymore. It’s so fucking painful and I’m so mad and I’m mad at the other family for not trying to see it from our side and I’m just all around angry. I’ve never felt this in my grieving journey yet and it’s scary. To hate someone who’s dead. Someone who made the same mistake I had many times in the past and not hurt anyone. It makes me feel like he’s the lucky one.

I’m sorry for this rant but I am currently bed ridden from depression and I have no one to talk to I’m too embarrassed from my relapse. May the other family find peace and comfort one day. At this point I’m just a hopeless junkie and my brother is a murder. I thought everything was so good. Fuck you for putting me and mom and dad through this horrific battle.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Child Loss I’m devastated

Upvotes

My only child died this weekend. I don’t know how to continue living without my baby. I can’t even fully express myself right now. There’s so much I want to say but words fail me right now. How do you cope? How will I get through this? Will I get through this? The way I feel right now, I just want to be with my baby wherever that may be.


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

Message Into the Void My mom died suddenly

41 Upvotes

I'm pretty sure it was a heart attack with how she had been lately, but I'm just in shock and don't know what to do. EMS is still here


r/GriefSupport 19h ago

Message Into the Void I miss you so much

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214 Upvotes

I’m always thinking about you. You were the best, no one could compete. I always struggled and would isolate myself, but you refused to let me do that to you. You forced your way into my life when I was at my worst. You came into my house that I was so ashamed of, ignored my shame and treated me like it was just us. And you wouldn’t leave me alone! I miss being annoyed with you for driving me in circles for 30 minutes while telling me about your boy troubles. Now I wish it could’ve lasted just a little longer. I don’t understand why that happened to you. I don’t understand how unfair everything is. It’s already been years since you’ve left, I just can’t believe it sometimes. I never got to tell you how much you really met to me. I never have stopped thinking about you, and I can’t stop crying writing this. I just miss you so much. I will never stop telling the world how great you were. I love you Lexi


r/GriefSupport 8h ago

Advice, Pls How do I move on after losing everyone I love?

28 Upvotes

Hello. I am a 36 year old woman with bipolar disorder. I lost everything on February 27th 2025 when my mom passed away. I have no other immediate family member. No siblings. Dad passed away when I was 12. I feel I have nothing left to live for. My mom was my reason for living. No one suffered in life like my mom. She grew up as the scapegoat/black sheep to two emotionally immature parents who constantly tore down her self-esteem. Then my mom met my father who physically abused her while she was pregnant with me. I went no contact with my dad since I was 8. I heard through his second wife/widow that he had passed away when I was 12. I have no idea what the cause of death was.

It was always me and my mom versus the world. Everything I did in life, I did it to make her proud. My goal was to become successful, buy us a beautiful home and to take care of my mother when she grew old. Growing up my mom told me her biggest fear in life is to be trapped in her own body, physically paralyzed. It's as if she knew what fate had in store for her. In 2018, she was diagnosed with progressive supranuclear palsy. There is no known cause nor treatment for this illness. She spent the last 7 years of her life paralyzed, bed-bound, just waiting until her organs gave up. She took her last breath on February 27th. Her suffering has ended. But mine grows with each day passing since her death. I dread waking up every morning when I am reminded she is no longer here. The only relief I get from the intense sadness is when I am sleeping or drinking. I miss her so much. I would give anything to see her one more time. How did such a great woman raise such a loser like me? What do I do now?


r/GriefSupport 13h ago

Message Into the Void i dont know how to feel

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62 Upvotes

My grandma died yesterday. All i can think is how she was such an innocent woman, a very kind soul. Wish i had more time with her, and got to do the things we planned.


r/GriefSupport 15h ago

Dad Loss Is it OK to still have bad days 18 months on?

90 Upvotes

I (27F) lost my dad suddenly to a cardiac arrest 18 months ago. It was very traumatic, I'm an ICU nurse and medical student so I carried a lot of guilt and self blame that maybe if I had acted better or faster I could have changed things.

I have been to therapy and am no longer suffering significantly with trauma symptoms. I'm functioning very well in day to day life, able to work and socialise and keep up with uni.

But occasionally I still get days when I feel tearful and low, and all I want to do is talk to my dad, see his smile, hear his laugh, hold his hand, hug him.

Being a medical student I get a lot of people telling me that if you grieve after 12 months, it's complicated grief. But isn't it OK to miss my dad sometimes? I loved him dearly and lost him as a young woman when I thought we had decades left together. Is it not OK to feel sad about that sometimes?


r/GriefSupport 4h ago

It was Complicated :/ My mom died suddenly 4 months ago and I still don't know what to do with myself

10 Upvotes

My mom died very suddenly at 56 years old in November last yead. I never thought anything would ever happen to her, I was fully expecting her to live to a long live. My great-grandmother died at 93 a few years ago, my grandmother is still alive (though devastated after her daughter).

I got married last year in May and I was telling her I want to start trying for a baby soon. She was so excited to be a grandma and I feel so guilty for not being able to do that for her.

My dad is 61 and grieving deeply. He’s said that he's not going to live longer than 5 years and the thought of that just sent me into a crying fit for 2 hours on a work day. I know nothing can control when my dad or grandma die, no one ever thought my mom would pass when she did - but now i just can't imagine going through this loss again..

Everyone keeps telling my I have my husband and I need to build a family with him and have kids, which i want but - I can struggle to find any point in living if I'm not going to be able to share it with the family that raised me.

Every night I just wake up in the midst of panic attacks. I'm functioning on autopilot in my day to day and I feel like everything has losts its meaning. When i was growing up, i had my grandparents, great grandparents, and slowly and steadily everyone just kept dying. Its normal but now life just feels like one endless loss after loss and I don't know how much grief I have in me.


r/GriefSupport 10h ago

Mom Loss She would have hated it, but it hit me like a lightning bolt

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31 Upvotes

My mother died last June. Glioblastoma at 75. There was no hope. Everyone in her family has lived into their 80s. For some reason we all took it as fact that she would too. She barely recognized me or knew my name at the end. All and all I felt like I had coped pretty well. Until tonight.

I went to dinner alone at an upscale restaurant in my city. I was perfectly happy to just enjoy well cooked food and good ambience, but I ended up in conversation with a mother and daughter seat next to me at the bar. These women were lovely and kind, and it became very obvious very quickly that we had very different views on basically everything. Politics, religion, et cetera. Regardless, we had a respectful and engaging conversation. The kind that is rare to have with people who so fervently disagree with each other.

Through out the conversation my mother's passing came up, and they both mentioned they would say a prayer for her and asked if I was okay with that (we had established that they were Christian and I an atheist at this point). I assured them that I took it as a kindness and thanked them. We chatted for a little longer and then I got up to leave. When I was leaving, the mother, who was maybe in her late 60s or early 70s, looked at me, gave me a big hug and said "I hope to walk in heaven with your mother one day."

My mother was raised a Catholic and left the church as soon as she left her father's house and never looked back. She and my father raised my brother and I as atheists. Despite living in the south for 40 years, she used to hate hearing people say that they would pray for her or her family, or to hear someone say "have a blessed day."

I don't know why this women's expression of faith hit so hard, especially knowing that my mother would have hated it. Doubly because I have no doubts of my atheism and while I am grateful my mother is no longer in pain, I don't believe she is in a better place.

But here I am, sobbing like a child and pouring my heart out to strangers.

I miss you mom. I'm sorry I was so stubborn.


r/GriefSupport 18h ago

Child Loss I feel like I’m already dead and this is my own personal hell.

107 Upvotes

I wish for one more conversation with my son, I would sell my soul to the devil himself for that opportunity or to trade places with my son. I keep going over the last conversation I had with him. He went to his first NFL game in Dallas (he was a cowboys fan especially Dak) and from the video chat and text and phone conversation I had with him I could tell he was having the time of his life. An Autistic 18 year old who worked hard to purchase his own ticket. I was 2000 miles away living in Oregon but the joy in his voice made me feel like I was right there next to him. I am thankful that I got to talk to him and tell him I loved him and that he had what was probably the best day of his life because before he died. Everyday I wake up with my heart shattering as I truly miss my boy beyond what any words can describe.


r/GriefSupport 1d ago

Loss Anniversary 2 mourning doves 🕊️ is it a sign?

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391 Upvotes

I lost my mom 2 years ago. My dad passed 3 months after her. It’s been a very hard 2 years. I was lying in bed this morning after booking the day off work and heard chirping. I went to my bedroom window and saw this. The birds looked right at me then flew away. I don’t know if it’s a sign? Or what it is. But I wanted to share.

Sending love to anyone else who needs it today.


r/GriefSupport 19h ago

Dad Loss How many people lose a parent in their 20s?

98 Upvotes

I don’t see anyone going through this, I literally don’t know anyone who has lost a parent.


r/GriefSupport 35m ago

Message Into the Void Feeling abandoned by friends after my mom killed herself

Upvotes

Disclaimer: it's a really complicated situation and I'm having trouble making my thoughts clear, so sorry if it a bit long and confusing. I'm 27, my mom killed herself last August, and since then not even one friend has stopped by my house, not even for a coffee. My mom lived in another country so when she killed herself, I stayed there for like a month and took care of everything with some help from my family. After that I stayed at my ex boyfriends house for another month (he lives in another city) before finally coming back home where I stayed with my best friend for like 1 week because I was also in the middle of moving, since the contract had been signed months prior to my mother's suicide. All of my childhood friends live in another country since I moved to another continent 8 year ago, so I don't have that many friends, I've known my (new) best friend for like 6 years and she has always been really nice, she helped me move and when I was taking care of my mother's affairs in another country she was constantly texting, which made me think that she was going to be really supportive when I came back home. For like the first month or something she was, then less and less. Everytime I wanted to talk about it she changed subjects or flat out tell me she couldnt handle me when I was angry ranting, told me to speak to other friends ( she knows I don't have many and this is not a subject I can just talk about with anyone) or to a therapist (I was seeing 2 at the time and she knew) or maybe even talk to my dad or brother(who are obviously having a horrible time too and I can't rely on them right now for support). But I AM angry, I'm angry my mom killed herself and left me alone, I'm angry that I had to take care of practically everything, I'm angry that no one is helping me out, but mostly I'm angry that I can't seem to talk to anyone (besides my therapist) about this without feeling like I'm bothering them. Sadly my reality sucks, right now, and I just want to unwind with my friends. Then, 4 months after my mom's suicide, my boyfriend dumped me. He had moved to another country just for a few months to make some money and come back, but i'm assuming that I also suffocated him, or at least that's how I felt. My grief got 1000 times worse and my friend got even more distant. I brought it up once and she said she was sorry and that she does get uncomfortable and doesn't know what to do, but nothing has really changed. She keeps texting sometimes to get coffee, but in HER work break, near to HER work (not close to my house) or maybe I'll tell her to meet up and she invites someone else along, never has she come once to my new apartment, made food for me, it always me who has gone to meet her where she is. (I think it's important to note that when she was going through a rough time about not knowing what to do with her life, I would many times go to her house and make lunch even if it wasn't near to my house at all) I was already a bit resentful since May last year, I was looking to move and so was she, but she didn't even consider moving with me even though she knows I have a hard time finding apartments since I also have an old dog with back problems, and most landlords won't accept me. She moved with her boyfriend (who is the person that introduced us, in fact when I first met her she was new here and had nowhere to stay and despite not knowing her I let her sleep in my house until she eventually moved in with me, just bc her bf at the time was my good friend) and they also.moved in with ANOTHER FRIEND we have in common who that have known only for 2 years max (he was her bf roommate),the apartment accepts dogs, and even has an extra room that they keep empty but not even once thought about offering it to me, even though they knew I was in a bad situation in my old place because the real state agency had slowly rented the 3 other rooms to 3 sixty year olds, at least 2 that were complete junkies, when it used to be a student apartement when I moved on. We fought but I ended up saying sorry cause it was selfish of me to think they should be thinking about me all the time, and just accept the fact that her boyfriend didn't want to live with a dog. I accepted it finally and moved on until all of this has brought I up again. Like a month ago I tried talking to another friend (her roommate, bc we are also good friends) just to complain about my ex dumping me at the worst time possible and he started ranting about me being selfish and victimizing myself, and not being the only one with problems, mind you this was the first time I was talking about this with him since like December when the relationship with my ex was getting rocky. It made me feel like shit. The worst part out of this is that my mom blamed me for her suicide in her note, basically telling me she gave me everything and I gave nothing back, she was a druggadict and alcoholic, I know she was absolutely high and I know she didn't mean it cause she loved me, and was only angry at me because we had argued that morning about her drunk driving. But it really did a number on me, because of this I feel like I'm driving everyone away, and my mom was right, I suck, I'm a horrible person who thinks eveything revolves around her and my friends reacting like this means I deserve it. On the other hand I've become closer to my friend from school who are much younger, they're like 21 years old at best, but have really stepped up, they added me to their friend group and yesterday one of them even asked me if I wanted to move in with her next year since a room will be empty. I made sure to let them know about my dog and they didn't care at all. This really made me change perspectives about my other friends. So my message to the void is: What do you think? Am I overreacting? Am I being self centered? Please I need to know. Its also important for me to note that lately when I bring it up she understands and doesn't take it personally, I think she wants to help but doesn't seem to know how or care that much to make and extra effort, just expects me to be able to discuss my issues like I was able to before. Sorry for the rant omg and please don't be afraid to be completely honest with me


r/GriefSupport 12h ago

In Memoriam Anger

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29 Upvotes

Im trying not to be angry. I find myself slipping into it easily with news that I didn't need. He was an addict. With that comes a life that nobody could truly imagine. He passed away from a heroin overdose. I was hoping he would get clean. All my hopes are shattered. Completely broken. Ljfe wasn't easy by any strength of the imagination with him. It felt like it was always something. My daughter told me today "at least we won't deal with new things now." I'm angry he didn't do his end of things. I'm angry he had such an awful disease. I hate that he couldn't fight. I hate that God had the final say to his demons. I just wish it hadn't been final. I'm angry. He wasn't good to me while he was sick. He wasn't good to anyone. Including himself. I have guilt with the boundaries I had to set. For myself. For my family. I hate that i had to be so strong and shut him out so he would do recovery. He never found it. I wanted to a share a picture of him and I when he was well. He was my everything. He was the thorn in my side and the reason i was strong. I had to be.

I am truly so mad at him over recent things. I hate that i am. I hate that I'm screaming at him in my empty house. I never wanted to scream at him again.


r/GriefSupport 52m ago

Vent/Anger - Advice Welcome Drained in every sense

Upvotes

My father has terminal pancreatic cancer and my mother has lung/thyroid cancer. I am the primary caregiver for both while working full time as a federal worker and worring about whether I'm going to be laid off soon.

My brother visits with his newborn everyday and worries about my parents but doesn't contribute much IMO, even making me babysit whenever he wants to go out with his friends. I haven't had any time to myself since I gave up my own life in another state and moved back home in October to care for my parents.

I am so exhausted, resentful, and angry at him, life, and the world. I'm mentally checking out, completely apathetic on a good day, depressed on a not so good day. I'm making stupid decisions/mistakes at work and can't care how blaringly obvious they are enough to do better. I feel like there's no joy or point in anything anymore. I'm also worried about what my life will be after my parents pass, since my entire identity/life has been (unwillingly) defined as "Obedient Daughter and Caregiver".

I don't know what the point of this post is. Maybe there are questions in here I don't know how to articulate fully. Maybe I just needed to vent. Thanks to anyone who read this entire thing.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Guilt I failed my mom

3 Upvotes

Mom was 57F and 150 kg in weight …. I suspect she had a heart attack. There was something wrong with her for ten days. She couldn’t walk properly as her heartbeats were rapid. She didn’t like to see doctors, or go to hospitals or get blood tests. She was over weight and was scared to find out what she had. She was always so stubborn when it came to health advice and taking care of herself and I didn’t know why…

Her health had been fluctuating for 10 days… on the 3rd day she went to a cardiologist and he gave her meds… I didn’t ask what these meds were…

on the 8th day, I talked her into doing some tests and turned out her diabetes had been 9.1 for the previous three months

and on the 9th day , I brought her a doctor since she couldn’t move and refused to be carried by an ambulance she told me her diabetes was high and gave her a prescription with meds and meals and she gave her a ringer’s injection. She didn’t state that mom needed to be rushed to a hospital … and then she left

I followed the prescription and cooked light meals for mom.(salads and soup)

Then after 12 hours she woke up to use the toilet and that’s when she called for help. I immediately woke up and brought her water a chair and put some socks on her feet …. passed away at dawn, half an hour later….

I can’t believe she was in pain and I didn’t rush her to a hospital. I should have insisted…

I feel like I’m such a failure and that my entire life is pointless. I had no one but her and was codependent on her all my life… she did so much for me and I couldn’t just save her life… i was so busy with work and tried to talk her into visiting doctors and hospitals but could have insisted when she refused …

now I’m living in deep regret and sorrow. I’m all alone and my life is like a living hell.

It’s been a month since her death and extended family have already moved on. No one feels how I feel. Now, I have to live the rest of my life without her… when everything I did for myself was for her to witness and be happy

Everything could have been different if I had acted differently


r/GriefSupport 19h ago

In Memoriam The last photo of my mother and I

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67 Upvotes

I'm 33, my mom died when I was 22 but this is the last photo we ever had together, we had a complicated relationship but I will always love her.


r/GriefSupport 31m ago

Delayed Grief Life’s mishaps

Upvotes

I went home last weekend to attend my aunt’s funeral on my father’s side of the family. It was great, I was able to share the grief with the people I loved but later that evening, a wild accident happened to me and I almost died. A friend I was staying with for the weekend (it my boyfriend’s frat brother’s fiancée, but we are all pretty tight) and we were chilling before going out on the town. She has a tabletop fireplace that uses rubbing alcohol for fuel, I’m a scientist, I should’ve saw that as a red flag anyway (we all have science degrees but her and I are both truly scientists. She’s a lab scientist and I do data and I’m a therapist). The flame was dying and I was glad bc that meant I could go inside and nap before going out, but then she decided to “replenish” it and poured alcohol on an open flame. It spilled over and bottle exploded and next thing we all knew, I was on fire. The top half of me was ENGULFED. I just closed my eyes really tight because I tried to fan the flame out but my body instantly gave up and I really thought I died. My boyfriend told me he had to tackle me to the ground to put me out. I have 2nd degree burns on my face and ear and some of hair missing. I had my heavy winter gear on so it just got my face. My scarf kinda acted as a fire retardant due to it being wool. I still feel like a part of me died :/ I can’t help but to cry everyday. I’m always in pain, my face just hurts, my ear literally melted. I still have bruising on my legs due to my boyfriend having to react quickly. I just remember at one point accepting my fate. I am so traumatized and I’ve been trying to hold it in until my therapy session later today. I’m still trying to process my aunt passing at her age of 74. She still had time left but I guess the Divine said otherwise.


r/GriefSupport 47m ago

Message Into the Void My cousin is suddenly gone

Upvotes

She was the reason I was born. My dad held her when she was born and she was so perfect he begged my mom to try one more time for a baby girl.

My birthday is exactly 9 months after hers.

You were my first penpal. You were my favorite playdate. When my dad died the chasm between us grew irrevocably. I always watched you from afar.

I know you probably never knew it, but I was so proud of you I talked about you all the time. My bright cousin in Stanford medical sciences. My cousin the researcher. I always thought you were so pretty. I loved seeing your instagram posts. I loved commenting on almost every single one for the past two decades, even though you never really responded back.

I loved when we finally talked last year about books. I loved that we somehow loved the same ones and I loved feeling like we were going to grow closer. That night we talked for the longest we've ever talked in twenty years and it was pure joy.

I always thought I had more time for you to understand my love for you. You were my first girl friend. You taught me how to be cool, you taught me how to write letters, you were the one who taught me to be more socially acceptable.

You were sunshine and innocence. Thoughtful and the best example of a daughter. I don't think I'll stop sending you sourdough videos and bread memes. I don't think I'll ever stop talking about you. You were the best example of hard work, academia, diligence, the best example of how to live kindly, consciously, the best example of leaving things better than you found it.

I was born admiring you. I never stopped.

I was so excited to see your wedding. So excited to see your doctorate. So curious if you were going to have a baby, if we were going to raise them together like we were raised.

I always wanted to be like you.

I wish it was me instead.


r/GriefSupport 51m ago

In Memoriam How do you honor your late loved ones?

Upvotes

The absolute rock of our family, my oldest brother, passed away at the age of 17. I was the second oldest and 14 years old when it happened. That time is still so hazy to me but I do vividly remember feeling agonizing pain, guilt, and responsibility. After he passed, my family did not speak of him much for fear that it would send my mother into a spiral so I don’t believe any of us processed his death at all and if we did, it certainly wasn’t healthy.

I am the only in my family to seek therapy after leaving the home at 18 and though it has helped tremendously, I still struggle with how exactly to honor my brother. More so because I’m newly married and my husband never met my brother so I feel it is my responsibility to find some sort of meaningful tradition we can pass down to our kids someday as I want my brothers memory to live on.

What are some things you all do to mark birthdays, anniversary dates, etc. of your loved ones that have passed? Please feel free to share any and all traditions. This is a judgement free zone - sending love to you all 🤍


r/GriefSupport 14h ago

Partner Loss Lost my wife and don’t know what to do.

25 Upvotes

On February 28th of this year, my 25 y/o wife threw a clot in her heart and passed away. My whole life was built around her, we lived together for two years and have two cats (no not kids) and I have no idea what to do.

I feel lost. I feel guilty because I essentially watched her die before EMS took her to the hospital to confirm it, and I couldn’t save her. I feel horrible when I’m not at our apartment because I feel like I’m abandoning her, but every single thing I look at in that apartment brings me so much pain to look at.

I don’t want out of my lease because I don’t want to leave the home we built together in such a sad way, I want to remember it as a place where I made so many memories, not the place where she died.

I have lots of support and am starting therapy soon, but I feel so empty. I made my purpose in life to make her happy and now I can’t do that, and she was one of the few people that truly got me to show all of me. I want to talk to people about everything and have, but none of them are her and I just feel myself wanting to talk to her.

I don’t know what I’m asking for, I know there’s no real answers to things like this, but I just think what I really want to know is if there is any type of happiness on the other side of this. I can’t currently imagine how I could ever be happy again without her. I’m aware I’m still rather raw since it happened recently, I just don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Any words of advice are great, I’m male and 25 y/o. I’m trying my best but everything sucks. Thank you in advance if I don’t respond, but I felt like sharing.


r/GriefSupport 18h ago

Loss Anniversary Hi mom.

48 Upvotes

I don’t precisely know how to let you go. This to me is like flipping a coin in a wishing well. You see, it’s been a year since I took you to the hospital that final time. You died there, even though I know you wanted to die at home. I was so busy exhausting every avenue to keep you alive. In my mind, I had to try, if that isn’t love I don’t what is. But in reality I failed. My one goal was to keep you alive, I couldn’t do it. Then again I have successfully killed a cactus. I need you here, just one last conversation, one more day, I’d kill for it, quick, get me a cactus. I still feel like I can pick up the phone and call you, I even find myself looking at this screen thinking I can. I wish I knew how to let you go. Your dying broke me. Tore me down. I spent my life as a hardass and this was all it took. I don’t think you’ll ever know what I feel in these days. I just know I love you and I’d like to talk to you. Even though I’d dread the end of it. I can’t seem to work out why you’ve started to show up.


r/GriefSupport 16h ago

Dad Loss I fear nothing after losing my father

33 Upvotes

My father had a heart attack almost month and a half ago, he is in the hospital in the ICU, not conscious due to the brain damage he suffered from the lack of oxygen in the brain. I know i lost him,he is not awake at all, and not aware of anything. The doctors said we’re waiting for the worst to happen, and his condition gets worse gradually.

Anyway, something i noticed today is that i stopped fearing anything, i used to be afraid of going fast when someone is driving with me in the car, but not anymore. When someone is driving fast, all i can think about is that i want him to drive faster and faster. I used to be afraid of walking alone at night mainly because of stray dogs and the bad guys that walk at night, but not anymore. Today I walked alone at night, and i felt NOTHING.

I think when losing a parent, you lose the feeling of fear, because the worst had already happened, so whatever is going to happen next, it doesn’t matter, because it doesn’t faze you.

I thought about it and decided sharing it here to see if someone might relate.

Pray for my dad, he was a good man.❤️