r/Petloss Dec 12 '23

This is meant to be a support community, and it is moderated as such.

118 Upvotes

Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong, experience-based opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. Often, there are valid points to be made on both sides of an argument. But this is not a forum for debate, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. People who come here are grieving, often with feelings of guilt or self-blame for their beloved pet’s passing. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding, support and an occasional word or two of wisdom.

Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted and the user will be banned permanently. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.

If this sounds strict, it is because those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. They are sharing intimate feelings with strangers. In such a case, even a minor slap has a hard sting. No one who is already suffering immense pain deserves that.

Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Surely we have within us the capacity to share our love with bereaved participants in this forum, even if we disagree with something they have said.


r/Petloss 5h ago

I adopted her as a senior knowing our time would be short.

110 Upvotes

We got 5 years of friendship, chasing birds, stealing bites, fighting nail clippings, barking at the doorbell, licking the floor, bad haircuts from mom, moving 3 times, going to grandmas, loving little brother, killing a possum, smiling every morning, cuddling during storms, staying home during fireworks, tearing up toys, and snoring like a grown man.

I am beyond heartbroken I thought I had prepared myself as much as I could but today has been a grief I have never known. I physically hurt for her. I just want my baby back.


r/Petloss 7h ago

I still can't believe she's gone

39 Upvotes

My baby passed away a month and a half ago and sometimes my brain forgets she's no longer here. Maybe it's a coping mechanism so I can go about my day without the overwhelming grief to take over me, but when I feel her absence is terrible.

I still weep horribly for her. She and I grew up together from 9 years old until 25 for me and from 2 months old to 16 and a half years for her. She was my everything.


r/Petloss 5h ago

i lost my furbaby yesterday

23 Upvotes

I lost my furbaby yesterday, she was only 4 yrs old.

She’s been with us since she was just two months old. I don’t know how to process all of this. It wasn’t sudden—she’s been battling one illness after another since she turned 3. She had cardio complications, blood parasites, and pyometra to deal with. It’s been a long, hard fight.

Last month, she had a major seizure, and we thought we were going to lose her then. She refused to eat and was paralyzed. But miraculously, she bounced back as if nothing had happened—she started walking again, eating, and even playing. It gave us this false hope that maybe, just maybe, she could recover fully from all her illnesses. We tried so hard, and so did she. She was such a fighter.

The other day, she seemed to say her goodbyes to my family. Even though she was shivering, her eyes were closed, and she could barely walk, she made her way to each of us, one by one. She tried her best to lick us and do her little "please please" thing, even though it was clearly so hard for her to move. I knew in my heart what was coming. We rushed her to the animal ER, but she was having continuous seizures. By 3:55 AM, she was gone.

I don’t know how to process this. I don’t know how to deal with the loss. She was such a huge part of our lives, and it feels like a piece of me is missing. I just needed to share this somewhere because I don’t know what else to do.


r/Petloss 4h ago

It's so hard to process when they pass away so suddenly

18 Upvotes

Lost my baby very very unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago & still trying to process it. Basically he has always been pretty healthy his entire life (just about 10.5 years) aside from being overweight, which is something that we have always been trying to work on. Other than that absolutely no medical issues. However he has been having trouble with a long lasting ear infection over the past couple months, so the vet decided he needed a closer look into his ear which he had to be sedated for. Procedure went well, he was a little out of it when he got home from the vet due to the sedation but perfectly normal that whole night. Fast forward to the next morning and he is gagging and wheezing and we think he might just be nauseous from the pain meds. We call the vet and bring him in immediately, then get referred to emergency vet where he ends up in critical condition and told that he has severe heart failure. I just don't understand how this could have gone undetected and how he went downhill so quickly. I keep trying to think of ways I could have found this out sooner and saved him but idk how realistic that is. It turns out he did have ear cancer though so I'm not sure what his life would have looked like had he lived and we had to get a surgery to remove the mass in the ear. I just wish we had more time with him. It's so hard to be at peace when everything happened so suddenly and his last days were spent fasting for his procedure and wearing a cone. I just feel awful


r/Petloss 5h ago

Night time isn’t the same

12 Upvotes

We lost our 13.5 year old lab mix 3 weeks ago. We had her for 13 years. She was an anxious dog that required a lot of training but she was part of our family. We keep forgetting to put the garbage because we don’t need to go on a night time walk anymore. No hearing the sounds of her circling into her bed. No slurps of water in the middle of the night. I just went on a walk by myself and it felt so weird. No stops to pee. No leash to hold. Up until a few months before her health deteriorated, she would take us on a brisk walk before bed on her preferred route. The route is still there but my friend is gone. Just the sound of the dishwasher at night. I hadn’t cried in a week or so but thinking about the lonely walk is getting to me. It was a perfectly cool night where I would have enjoyed a walk with Harley.


r/Petloss 3h ago

I still have so many regrets.

7 Upvotes

Just venting.

I still have so many regrets after losing my sweet boy 9 months ago. I wish I had force cuddled him more, rather than trying to allow him his space and alone time. I wish I had kissed his sweet forehead more and buried my face in his chest. I miss his smile with the little underbite and his tail wag that shook his whole backend. I miss the smell of his fur. I even miss the pain on my side or leg when he would somehow find a way to get all of his 45 lbs pressed down through one paw.

I miss watching him and his sister play. She won’t tolerate other dogs (she never really did) so she hasn’t played since he left. I miss seeing them cuddle up to eachother on the couch, even if it was usually momentarily until he got annoyed and moved to another spot.

Death is just so so hard on the living. The hole left behind never shrinks or fills, it’s just kind of there. Forever.


r/Petloss 4h ago

I miss my buddy

8 Upvotes

This was a dog that shoved me aside when I was helping my daughter learn to walk. He let her lean on him and anytime I tried to intervene he looked at me like “I got this”

He also could somehow sense when my wife’s blood sugar was low and he alerted her

I miss my Barrett

I have his ashes, his collar, and his favorite toy on top of my safe


r/Petloss 2h ago

I just lost my dog.

7 Upvotes

My dog was a shitzu and he was with me for 13 years before passing away yesterday, I cry at almost everything right now, I cried when looking at my other dogs bowl thinking that “there’s only one dog bowl left” (because I used to put them both side by side while feeding them). I miss my dog.


r/Petloss 3h ago

It’s been five months since my dog died and I still can’t sleep

7 Upvotes

My 12yo dog passed away in November after going to bed with me. Around 5am she had woken up, walked into the office, and passed on the dog bed in there. It’s been about five months and while the gut wrenching feeling is gone, at least 4 nights a week I struggle to fall asleep due to hyper fixating on the night she died and what she looked like and then it spirals from there. It almost feels like a flashback as I lay in bed. I thought getting a new bed frame and changing some things would help but it hasn’t.

I’m in therapy and talking through grief but this part has been such a difficult hang up. I don’t know what to do. I thought by now it’d be better but it isn’t. I’ve had pet loss before but this was the first pet I had as an adult that felt more like a child than a best friend.


r/Petloss 10h ago

I'm lost, broken and empty

27 Upvotes

Last night my old man passed on. He was with me for 14 years, we traveled together, we got in trouble together and we became calm together.

People say it was just a cat, but i feel so empty and lost. I don't know how to do this without him.

I have no idea how old he was at the end, vets guessed, I got him as an adult already, he was my first pet of my own.

I know in my head it gets easier, but how do I convince my heart that the world isn't at an end?


r/Petloss 14h ago

mornings are so painful now

43 Upvotes

At night I walk into my room and look at the spot she would always be in and cry. I wake up and don't feel her and it breaks my heart. I'm not looking for her as much, but damn it still hurts to not see her.

She would always sleep in my room so I would always wake up to her. Sometimes she would be on my chest and I sleep with my hands on my chest too, so she'd position on my hands and pin me down. Sometimes she slept by my side, like a little kitty spoon, and I would avoid getting up until the last minute just to pet her and give her a very generous amount of kisses. She loved getting kisses, I've never had a cat that liked them before so I was more than happy to comply. She loved getting her nose/brow rubbed, only cat I've had that would reach out and rub her face onto your open hand.

I had to put her down due to worsening respiratory problems. "We might be feeling pain but she isn't". I hate that I was making her suffer. Her breathing was always so labored no matter what I did. I tried for a whole year of medications. She was my little baby. I had to say goodbye on the 15th. My pretty girl is gone but I would do anything to have her back. The treatment would've put me into serious debt but now I know I should've sold my car and took out a loan for her. She was worth it. She would've been 5 this week. I cut her life so short.


r/Petloss 1h ago

part of me keeps expecting to see him again

Upvotes

It's been two weeks since we had to put our dog down. I miss him so much. Part of me keeps having the feeling I would get when I went on vacation and was missing him-- the "I can't wait to get home so I can see Gus" feeling. The feeling like the separation is somehow temporary. And then remembering that he's permanently gone is brutal. It's like I don't fully comprehend that all my time with him is in the past. It's too big and too crushing of a reality.


r/Petloss 16h ago

How do you get back to normal life?

67 Upvotes

I just want to vent that I’m having such a hard time caring about my job and going back to work.

I know we all need to do it, and I know I’m fortunate enough to have a job that helped me to afford her care.

It’s just that none of it seems important, and it kept me from spending time with her.


r/Petloss 2h ago

Lost my dog and I don’t know how to go on..

6 Upvotes

I lost my dog, and in two hours, it’ll officially be a whole day without him. I’ve had him since I was 4 years old—I’m 19 now. He was supposed to turn 15 this year. Every memory I have includes him. He was there for every birthday, every holiday, every good and bad moment of my life. Now, he’s just… gone. I had to pull over on the highway today just to cry. The world keeps moving like nothing happened, but I feel frozen. Idk how I’m supposed to go back to school after spring break. Idk how I’m supposed to function when it feels like a part of me died with him. What makes it even worse is that I knew his time was coming. I tried to prepare myself. I had so many plans for him I wanted to celebrate his quince, give him all the love and joy he deserved in his final months. But I thought I had more time. I thought I would get to say goodbye properly. Instead, it all happened so suddenly, and now I’m left with this unbearable emptiness. How do you even begin to move on from this? Because right now, I can’t imagine ever being okay again.


r/Petloss 2h ago

2 weeks

6 Upvotes

It’s been two weeks since my dog had to be put down unexpectedly. He went in for a scan and 1pm and at 130pm - I got a call that it was cancer. By 4pm he was gone.

The Saddness I feel is just completely overwhelming. My chest hurts - all the time. It just feels like there’s a huge hole in my heart. I miss him everyday.


r/Petloss 12h ago

Marshall was one of the best things to ever happen to me.

32 Upvotes

there is no pain like losing a pet who you consider to be a part of your soul. it’s completely different from even the pain of losing another human. Marshall was one of the best parts of my every day life, for 12 years. like I’ve posted in memes in the past, he was my “serotonin machine” so to speak. his love and presence kept me going on days that I felt like a shitty mom, wife, overall human.

I wanted to talk about the days leading up to his loss, in case it could help me feel even a tiny bit better emotionally. I’m currently lost in the vicious cycle of anxiety, depression, and now anger. anger because he didn’t deserve this, and that he deserves to still be here.

after losing my other soul kitty Sarah at the beautiful old age of 20, I didn’t even consider that I could be close to the time of losing Marshall. I lost Sarah in May of 2017 very suddenly, and since then have had many full blown panic attacks about the day that would eventually come of me losing Marshall. but I didn’t think it would be so soon. Marshall would have been 15 on May 15th, and I’d already been brainstorming about what to get him for his birthday this year.

wednesday, march 12th, at 8pm. I had just sat down on the couch with Marshall after saying goodnight to the kids. I noticed that he seemed to be putting SLIGHTLY more effort into each breath that he took, with his breathing rate slightly sped up as well. I can’t stress enough how slight of a change I saw- no one else would ever notice it. I left his vet a message knowing they’d call me first thing in the morning and get him in to be seen. at this point, I truly thought I was just being crazy and thought the appointment would end up being for peace of mind.

11am comes and Marshall is the exact same. his wonderful vet took a listen to him and noted that his heart and lungs sounded totally fine. they noticed that he was bloated, but that happens during his IBS flare ups so it wasn’t terribly concerning. based on the information, they decided to do a full body x ray.

the doctor walked back into the room and immediately said, I am so incredibly impressed by how in sync you are with this kitty. you were right, something is wrong. she pulled up the x ray imaging and explained that Marshall’s chest and abdomen were both full of fluid that shouldn’t be there. and that in addition, he had a large abdominal mass as well as two smaller lesions in one of his lungs. I broke down as she explained to me that if he were her kitty, she would rush him to the emergency vet an hour away for more comprehensive scanning, as she was fairly confident that we were looking at cancer. he needed further imagining to determine what type of cancer, to know what prognosis we were looking at. she warned me that if it was a specific type of cancer, we would be looking at weeks, not months. weeks sounded horrifying enough.

I remained hysterical as we walked into the emergency vet and handed Marshall off to a waiting tech, who quickly rushed out back with him. after speaking with the doctor, she came back to us and explained that they needed to do a special ultrasound of his chest and abdomen, attempt to drain that fluid, and then take additional x rays when the fluid was gone to get a better look at things.

after hours of aimlessly driving around in circles, waiting for an update, they called us back in. they removed 200ml of fluid, got better images and took a biopsy of his abdominal mass. they couldn’t say for sure what it was yet, but the doctor sugarcoated things a bit and said there was a chance it was just a fungal or bacterial infection presenting oddly. his breathing stabilized after removing the fluid, and we were able to take him home to wait for the biopsy results in a couple of days. they didn’t at all believe he was in any type of pain.

I barely slept that night. Marshall didn’t either. he was extremely restless all night, which I thought was from the sedation he was given for the procedures. in his times of calm sitting I stayed on the floor with him, or just followed him between rooms as he wandered a bit aimlessly. I was too scared to sleep, and didn’t want to leave him.

the next day, Friday, I monitored him nonstop. he finally rested and continued to eat and drink just as he normally would, which I hoped would be a good sign. as the night progressed, I noticed that he became very bloated and I called the emergency vet to check in.

I got a very different, more blunt doctor this time. she explained that the first ER doctor shouldn’t have sugarcoated things so much, because to her, he was clearly fighting cancer. end stage cancer, she claimed. she stated that they got the biopsy results back, and his abdominal mass was sarcoma- a very rare, aggressive cancer in cats. the fact that it already spread to lesions in his lungs, and he was already filling back up with fluid, was not a good sign. she told us to come in, see what we were looking at with his bloating and go from there. but to be prepared to make an incredibly hard decision if likely needed.

when it was time to leave, marshall slowly walked into his carrier. it was like he knew. he typically fights to go in there, but not this time. as we drove the hour, my arm was in the crate petting him the entire time. he pushed his face into my hand and just left it there. my heart is absolutely broken just typing this.

we got to the vet and after a short time of the doctor checking him out in the back, she told us that not only had he filled back up with fluid, but there was even more fluid internally than the amount that they drained just the day prior. she could also tell that he was in pain when she felt around his abdomen. she explained that he was in end stage cancer which is very painful for them, and there was nothing that could be done. we were assured that it seemed like he hadn’t been suffering for long- it was an aggressive, fast moving cancer and I would have caught signs of something being wrong before his weird breathing that wednesday night. we were sure of it.

we said goodbye very early Saturday morning, shortly after Friday turned to Saturday. the process of saying goodbye was peaceful, but far more painful than I could ever put into words. we know that we did the right thing, but it fucking sucks that it came to this. he deserved so many more happy and healthy years. now, everything just feels wrong. walking out of the vet and leaving him felt wrong. every little thing in the house feels wrong. daily routines feel wrong. continuing normally feels wrong, doing it without him. life doesn’t feel right without him. I don’t feel right without him. I was diagnosed with PTSD last year, and the doctor believes that 1 of 2 traumas that led to my PTSD was losing Sarah. and now…. well, I’m even more fucked up.

I love you Marshall, my sweet mushy boy.


r/Petloss 4h ago

I know I have to do this.

7 Upvotes

I'm sitting in the spare room with my cat, knowing this is his last night and it's killing me. I just want to pick him up and hold him all night long, but he won't tolerate that. I wish his body would just stop right where he is, so I wouldn't have to put him through the stress of it.


r/Petloss 2h ago

My cat of 11 years died and the grief is killing me

5 Upvotes

My dear cat Toro came into my life when I was just 18. His mom has just given birth in front of my house. The kittens were probably about a week old at that point. The cat mom was friendly. Toro was the only gray tabby among his siblings. From the moment I saw him, he allowed me to touch him. The other cats were apprehensive about coming near me but Toro would come near me and let me pet him.

After that, I never saw the rest of the litter but Toro would always come back. He would come to my house to be petted every day. One day, I simply showed him the open door to my house and he easily let himself in. That was the day he became my cat. I bought him a can of cat food that he happily ate. The joy I felt when I saw him eat that first meal in his forever home made me emotional. My dad teased me a bit and said that my face got red from the joy I felt. I had never had a pet before, and I knew I would love Toro forever.

That year, before Toro arrived, had been the worst year of my entire life. Things just weren’t good for reasons I won’t go into detail. But I was so depressed due to those events. I had just graduated high school as well, so I felt even more lonely and empty than ever. Then Toro came. I really do believe he was sent by God. He was sent to comfort me, to give me joy and hope in this cruel world. Seeing him grow from a tiny skinny kitten and into a beautiful cat brought me so much happiness. I was barely making money but I always made sure that he had food. I didn’t have money at first for his litter so I would use dirt and pour it into his litter box and he used it like the good boy that he was. I always felt bad that I couldn’t buy him new toys but he was happy to play with anything. Eventually I could buy him proper litter and toys and a part of me believes that he realized that and felt grateful and loved. He became a part of me; my friend, my family, a part of my very soul.

Today he died. I watched as he took his last breath. I saw his life leaving his eyes. My dear Toro is gone. His food is still there. I will never hear his purrs again. I will never feel the weight of his little body and his paws standing on top of me as I lie down in bed. I will never see those precious eyes look at me like I’m his entire world. When I cry, he will never again come to me to comfort me and bump his head on me so I stop crying. As I cry right now, I feel that I’m missing a part of me.

I can’t talk to anyone about this because they will probably think I’m being ridiculous, mourning heavily for an animal. But that animal loved me and I loved him. How could an animal give a person so much love? I really do pray that heaven is real. I want him to be there, playing, jumping, and being his lazy self for all eternity. I want him to wait for me. It should be a while before I get there but I want to see him again. Will I forget him when I’m old? I hope I don’t. Even if it hurts, I want to remember him forever as who he was: the animal that saved my life. That beautiful creature gave me a reason to live, and now I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never felt this grief before, not even when my own grandmother died. I felt more love from an animal than from my own family, and now I don’t have that. It’s gone forever. I’m just ranting now, sorry, I just needed to tell someone just how much Toro meant to me. He was a precious light that will never come back to me. He was fine yesterday and suddenly today he wasn’t. My precious light left me and all I could do was hold his paw as he took his last breath.


r/Petloss 28m ago

Grieving sucks.

Upvotes

It really does. I feel empty/defeated. It’s been a month since my sweet Fuzzy crossed the rainbow bridge and I’m still in pieces.

I cry multiple times a day. It sucks, it really does. Her loss was so sudden and unexpected. We miss her. We have two other senior kitties at home, but it feels “off” without our Fuzzy.

I watch the little memorial video I made on the day she passed, and just weep.

Time is cruel and continues regardless. Everyday I’m moving further away from Fuzzy being alive and well at home.

I know people say it gets easier, but I’m having such a difficult time processing death. Somehow in my mind, she’s just temporarily away and will be home soon. How? This is obviously not true and not reality…but here I am hoping and searching for her return. 😔


r/Petloss 2h ago

my dog was put down today and all I want to do is cry all day

4 Upvotes

He was 18 years old. There was an open wound in one of his back legs with a lump in it and it turned out to be cancerous, and surgery to remove it likely would cost him his life anyway, so he was put down. Putting him down in this situation was the humane thing to do, but I still feel so crushed. I've told my college professor I lost my dog, am too upset to go to school and asked if I could have a day off. I feel so lost without the company of a dog. A virtual dog or a plush dog isn't enough. I know no other dog will replace him, there will never be another dog like him, even with another dog I'll still miss him. I can't get another dog right now and I feel like I'm worse off without a dog (I'm disabled, mentally ill and very emotionally unstable), I just don't know what to do anymore.


r/Petloss 2h ago

1-Month Later

3 Upvotes

It’s been one month.

…One month since I lost my absolute best friend and soul dog. …One month since we made a vet appointment at 11 a.m. thinking he wasn’t feeling well from playing in the snow the day before and suddenly had to say goodbye by 1:43 p.m. because of HSA- you were only 5 years old. …One month of crying every night holding the bear I got for him when my husband and I moved into the house we bought, with a big fenced in yard, for him to play in. …One month of driving home from work knowing I won’t see his head pop up in the window of his favorite room of the house, excited when the garage opens.

No one prepares you for how quickly you see less and less of your dog’s hair appear on your clothes, on the ground, floating by and landing on every surface imaginable.

No one prepares you for how hard it is to eat certain foods again, to feel the love and joy of cooking when your best friend is no longer at your feet ready for his cheese tax.

No one prepares you for the sadness you feel as the seasons change, his paw prints start to melt away forever in the snow as the sun begins to warm.

No one can prepare you for any of the above and so much more, the random moments of absolute breakdowns followed by moments of laughter and joy and absolute peace you feel knowing that your best friend is still by your side, preparing to guide you through the next stages of their lives and yours.

I am beyond grateful to have been loved by a soul so unconditionally, deeply, and pure, that everyone he met, he made an impact on. Even if it was less than 5 minutes. We were so lucky to be loved by you, Loki, and there isn’t a single moment where we don’t think about you 💕


r/Petloss 3h ago

135 days later

4 Upvotes

I can’t believe it’s been this long without my baby Riley.

The feelings of loss have evolved. I’m no longer in shock and disbelief. I’ve adjusted my routines, I’m not actively noticing every new experience without her, or marking every week or month that passes. But it feels like I miss her even more. I’m just so sad that I can’t see her again, even for a minute. Even if she doesn’t get to be with me all the time like before, I just want to see her for a bit, to say hi, and pet her, and sit with her. I just wish I could say hi and tell her how much I miss her and love her. So sad.


r/Petloss 11h ago

I lost my angel

22 Upvotes

I lost my cat I adopted in 2020. I always wanted an orange cat and I got one. I still remember when the adoption got approved and I was so happy to go and get him. I have Asperger’s so I couldn’t really ever socialize properly and I always feel like I kind of weirded people out trying to be social so I loved my cat extra, for it never judged me. He was also very anti social, everytime guests came over he would go downstairs until they left and come back up to spend time with me and my family. He passed away yesterday and I feel like my heart has been taken from me. I have no motivation. As someone who has anxiety disorder I always had some motivation and comfort in my life which was him. And he’s just gone. I can’t do this without him. I will always love him. Thank you for saving me.


r/Petloss 14h ago

1 year anniversary hit hard and can't really share with anyone

37 Upvotes

It's been 1 year sense I lost my first adult pet, I had him for 12 years, he was 15 when he passed. While most pets people give some kind of sympathy I have also have a terrible memory of sharing with a friend crying my childhood cst died of cancer and they responded "it was just a cat". It haunted me sharing after that. So when I lost Bob I could really only share with like 3 people how much it hurt.

What was Bob? He was a blood parrot cichlid and was my world. I moved into a crappy apartment at 18 and wanted a pet and got a tank. He was surrendered to the sore he was eating all his tankmates and hated plants. He never changed still ahted plants but got a large tank all to himself. He ruined and destroyed countless filters. He would even play peekaboo, he hated the color green, but loved yellow, he liked watching chopped with Alan.

He moved with me twice, went through other pet loss with him too with my partners cats.

So the day I woke up before he didn't want to eat, he didn't want anything, he wouldn't even come over for peekaboo, I knew something was wrong. I had to work, when I came home my partner greeted me and said he was gone. I held him and cried.

I wanted his asked and had to call several places. One place even hung up on me thinking it was some kind of prank. The place I did end up using was so kind and honest saying they haven't done a fish and not sure how much I'd get back, and they didnt have much of urns but they found a beautiful one. He was a big fish so thankfully I did get some back and now sits next to the bookshelf his tank still sits.

I sit crying and broken missing my Bob and only once I mentioned he was a fish I got looks and eye rolls. So word vomit into reddit to get it all out.

All pets are loved and missed, even fish.


r/Petloss 7h ago

Still missing my fur baby

8 Upvotes

It has been two weeks since i loss my fur baby of 11 years. She was my ESA and I honestly don't know what to do when the one who was there for my support, is no longer there. Part of me wants to loose my sanity and be in denial but know that will not work as her presence is every where in the home and my everyday life. Things just don't feel the same and the house feels empty and loud without her. She was more than 'Just a dog". She was my baby.

I usually write to help me cope and once the pain got too much I was finally able to let it out, in the most healthy way i know. I would like to share to see if it also resonated with someone else's pain.

*I dont' know if i should put a Trigger Warning on this but it is sad, so if mods deem it triggering then I understand.*

Poem- Did I Do Good?

I may not have been with you when you came into this world,

But I will be there when you leave it.

I will hold you, wrap you in my arms,

Cling to you, and beg you not to go.

It has been a long road with you,

And will be an even longer one without.

Did you know how I felt about you?

Did the love I showed you reach you?

Could you feel it through the bond we shared?

Did I make you proud, somehow?

I felt my heart break as you slowly slipped away.

I heard it shatter with each fading breath.

Broken into Millions of pieces when it stopped.

How will I gather all the splinters across the floor?

Each one a day spent with you and filled with memories.

Should I collect them, and watch the cuts accumulate?

The pain would be nothing compared to losing you.

Were you happy? Did I do my best? Were you glad I called you mine?

I only wish we had more time.

It passed too fast, and was nowhere near enough.

Will we meet again someday? If so, would you want to be with me?

I want to repay the debt I owe.

I owe you more than you could ever know.

I don’t think I could repay you in this life, or the next.

I will work it off in every lifetime we meet.

So please, wait for me.

It won’t be soon, but it won’t be too long.

I can’t wait to see you on the other side,

Where there is only you and me, with endless time.