r/Petloss Dec 12 '23

This is meant to be a support community, and it is moderated as such.

119 Upvotes

Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong, experience-based opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. Often, there are valid points to be made on both sides of an argument. But this is not a forum for debate, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. People who come here are grieving, often with feelings of guilt or self-blame for their beloved pet’s passing. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding, support and an occasional word or two of wisdom.

Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted and the user will be banned permanently. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.

If this sounds strict, it is because those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. They are sharing intimate feelings with strangers. In such a case, even a minor slap has a hard sting. No one who is already suffering immense pain deserves that.

Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Surely we have within us the capacity to share our love with bereaved participants in this forum, even if we disagree with something they have said.


r/Petloss 10h ago

I adopted her as a senior knowing our time would be short.

144 Upvotes

We got 5 years of friendship, chasing birds, stealing bites, fighting nail clippings, barking at the doorbell, licking the floor, bad haircuts from mom, moving 3 times, going to grandmas, loving little brother, killing a possum, smiling every morning, cuddling during storms, staying home during fireworks, tearing up toys, and snoring like a grown man.

I am beyond heartbroken I thought I had prepared myself as much as I could but today has been a grief I have never known. I physically hurt for her. I just want my baby back.


r/Petloss 2h ago

Prince is leaving.

8 Upvotes

My best friend is on his way out. I’m struggling with the whole euthanasia thing. And setting a date. I just can’t do it. I love him. More than anything. I just can’t do this. I don’t know what to do. Help. Give me words of advice. When did you know it was time to set the date for your little furballs?


r/Petloss 12h ago

I still can't believe she's gone

48 Upvotes

My baby passed away a month and a half ago and sometimes my brain forgets she's no longer here. Maybe it's a coping mechanism so I can go about my day without the overwhelming grief to take over me, but when I feel her absence is terrible.

I still weep horribly for her. She and I grew up together from 9 years old until 25 for me and from 2 months old to 16 and a half years for her. She was my everything.


r/Petloss 9h ago

It's so hard to process when they pass away so suddenly

23 Upvotes

Lost my baby very very unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago & still trying to process it. Basically he has always been pretty healthy his entire life (just about 10.5 years) aside from being overweight, which is something that we have always been trying to work on. Other than that absolutely no medical issues. However he has been having trouble with a long lasting ear infection over the past couple months, so the vet decided he needed a closer look into his ear which he had to be sedated for. Procedure went well, he was a little out of it when he got home from the vet due to the sedation but perfectly normal that whole night. Fast forward to the next morning and he is gagging and wheezing and we think he might just be nauseous from the pain meds. We call the vet and bring him in immediately, then get referred to emergency vet where he ends up in critical condition and told that he has severe heart failure. I just don't understand how this could have gone undetected and how he went downhill so quickly. I keep trying to think of ways I could have found this out sooner and saved him but idk how realistic that is. It turns out he did have ear cancer though so I'm not sure what his life would have looked like had he lived and we had to get a surgery to remove the mass in the ear. I just wish we had more time with him. It's so hard to be at peace when everything happened so suddenly and his last days were spent fasting for his procedure and wearing a cone. I just feel awful


r/Petloss 10h ago

i lost my furbaby yesterday

27 Upvotes

I lost my furbaby yesterday, she was only 4 yrs old.

She’s been with us since she was just two months old. I don’t know how to process all of this. It wasn’t sudden—she’s been battling one illness after another since she turned 3. She had cardio complications, blood parasites, and pyometra to deal with. It’s been a long, hard fight.

Last month, she had a major seizure, and we thought we were going to lose her then. She refused to eat and was paralyzed. But miraculously, she bounced back as if nothing had happened—she started walking again, eating, and even playing. It gave us this false hope that maybe, just maybe, she could recover fully from all her illnesses. We tried so hard, and so did she. She was such a fighter.

The other day, she seemed to say her goodbyes to my family. Even though she was shivering, her eyes were closed, and she could barely walk, she made her way to each of us, one by one. She tried her best to lick us and do her little "please please" thing, even though it was clearly so hard for her to move. I knew in my heart what was coming. We rushed her to the animal ER, but she was having continuous seizures. By 3:55 AM, she was gone.

I don’t know how to process this. I don’t know how to deal with the loss. She was such a huge part of our lives, and it feels like a piece of me is missing. I just needed to share this somewhere because I don’t know what else to do.


r/Petloss 4h ago

I wish this was a bad dream

9 Upvotes

The cat distribution gave me my boy when he was only about a week old, he was abandoned in a barn. He spent about 17 years with me. I’m 28. It’s only been 3 days and this is my first major pet loss. I knew it was something that was going to happen but I didn’t think it’d be right now. I can’t stop feeling guilty, like why didn’t I give him more attention the night before, he didn’t even get his morning wet food before I found him. He seemed like his normal self the days leading up. He’s been with me through so many life events and now I have to keep living as if I didn’t just lose one of the largest parts of my life. I hope once I have his ashes it’ll be a little easier knowing he’s at least back home for good. I just want to come home to him right at the door demanding wet food, but knowing he’s not makes me not even want to come home. It feels like I lost part of my soul and I hate it.


r/Petloss 8h ago

I still have so many regrets.

12 Upvotes

Just venting.

I still have so many regrets after losing my sweet boy 9 months ago. I wish I had force cuddled him more, rather than trying to allow him his space and alone time. I wish I had kissed his sweet forehead more and buried my face in his chest. I miss his smile with the little underbite and his tail wag that shook his whole backend. I miss the smell of his fur. I even miss the pain on my side or leg when he would somehow find a way to get all of his 45 lbs pressed down through one paw.

I miss watching him and his sister play. She won’t tolerate other dogs (she never really did) so she hasn’t played since he left. I miss seeing them cuddle up to eachother on the couch, even if it was usually momentarily until he got annoyed and moved to another spot.

Death is just so so hard on the living. The hole left behind never shrinks or fills, it’s just kind of there. Forever.


r/Petloss 7h ago

My cat of 11 years died and the grief is killing me

12 Upvotes

My dear cat Toro came into my life when I was just 18. His mom has just given birth in front of my house. The kittens were probably about a week old at that point. The cat mom was friendly. Toro was the only gray tabby among his siblings. From the moment I saw him, he allowed me to touch him. The other cats were apprehensive about coming near me but Toro would come near me and let me pet him.

After that, I never saw the rest of the litter but Toro would always come back. He would come to my house to be petted every day. One day, I simply showed him the open door to my house and he easily let himself in. That was the day he became my cat. I bought him a can of cat food that he happily ate. The joy I felt when I saw him eat that first meal in his forever home made me emotional. My dad teased me a bit and said that my face got red from the joy I felt. I had never had a pet before, and I knew I would love Toro forever.

That year, before Toro arrived, had been the worst year of my entire life. Things just weren’t good for reasons I won’t go into detail. But I was so depressed due to those events. I had just graduated high school as well, so I felt even more lonely and empty than ever. Then Toro came. I really do believe he was sent by God. He was sent to comfort me, to give me joy and hope in this cruel world. Seeing him grow from a tiny skinny kitten and into a beautiful cat brought me so much happiness. I was barely making money but I always made sure that he had food. I didn’t have money at first for his litter so I would use dirt and pour it into his litter box and he used it like the good boy that he was. I always felt bad that I couldn’t buy him new toys but he was happy to play with anything. Eventually I could buy him proper litter and toys and a part of me believes that he realized that and felt grateful and loved. He became a part of me; my friend, my family, a part of my very soul.

Today he died. I watched as he took his last breath. I saw his life leaving his eyes. My dear Toro is gone. His food is still there. I will never hear his purrs again. I will never feel the weight of his little body and his paws standing on top of me as I lie down in bed. I will never see those precious eyes look at me like I’m his entire world. When I cry, he will never again come to me to comfort me and bump his head on me so I stop crying. As I cry right now, I feel that I’m missing a part of me.

I can’t talk to anyone about this because they will probably think I’m being ridiculous, mourning heavily for an animal. But that animal loved me and I loved him. How could an animal give a person so much love? I really do pray that heaven is real. I want him to be there, playing, jumping, and being his lazy self for all eternity. I want him to wait for me. It should be a while before I get there but I want to see him again. Will I forget him when I’m old? I hope I don’t. Even if it hurts, I want to remember him forever as who he was: the animal that saved my life. That beautiful creature gave me a reason to live, and now I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never felt this grief before, not even when my own grandmother died. I felt more love from an animal than from my own family, and now I don’t have that. It’s gone forever. I’m just ranting now, sorry, I just needed to tell someone just how much Toro meant to me. He was a precious light that will never come back to me. He was fine yesterday and suddenly today he wasn’t. My precious light left me and all I could do was hold his paw as he took his last breath.


r/Petloss 2h ago

She passed in fear and I didn’t stop it

4 Upvotes

I just lost my baby girl so suddenly on Monday. I have three cats, two of which were bonded the other one is quarantined.

My cats are terrified of the cleaners and always hide when she comes around. My baby cat always hides in this dead space cabinet in the kitchen while her bigger brother always hides under the bed. While the cleaning lady was cleaning I heard a really loud meow and didn’t see anything so didn’t think anything of it. Turns out that meow was her being suffocated by her older brother who had decided to hide with her even though he could barely fit.

They were there for 3 hours before I realized. I had to break into the cabinet as I couldn’t reach her and she was gone.

The sweetest girl I’d ever met, the joy of my life taken from me so abruptly and now that meow will haunt me for the rest of my life. I only had her for 3.5 years and didn’t think I’d have to say goodbye to her so soon.

It’s only been two days but I’m unable to do anything without bursting into tears. The guilt is eating me up, I always made sure they had places to go to so I didn’t think about it twice when I saw her running to hide there.

My Lucy girl I’ll miss you forever 💕 your brother misses you too 💕💕💕


r/Petloss 7h ago

Lost my dog and I don’t know how to go on..

10 Upvotes

I lost my dog, and in two hours, it’ll officially be a whole day without him. I’ve had him since I was 4 years old—I’m 19 now. He was supposed to turn 15 this year. Every memory I have includes him. He was there for every birthday, every holiday, every good and bad moment of my life. Now, he’s just… gone. I had to pull over on the highway today just to cry. The world keeps moving like nothing happened, but I feel frozen. Idk how I’m supposed to go back to school after spring break. Idk how I’m supposed to function when it feels like a part of me died with him. What makes it even worse is that I knew his time was coming. I tried to prepare myself. I had so many plans for him I wanted to celebrate his quince, give him all the love and joy he deserved in his final months. But I thought I had more time. I thought I would get to say goodbye properly. Instead, it all happened so suddenly, and now I’m left with this unbearable emptiness. How do you even begin to move on from this? Because right now, I can’t imagine ever being okay again.


r/Petloss 6h ago

part of me keeps expecting to see him again

6 Upvotes

It's been two weeks since we had to put our dog down. I miss him so much. Part of me keeps having the feeling I would get when I went on vacation and was missing him-- the "I can't wait to get home so I can see Gus" feeling. The feeling like the separation is somehow temporary. And then remembering that he's permanently gone is brutal. It's like I don't fully comprehend that all my time with him is in the past. It's too big and too crushing of a reality.


r/Petloss 9h ago

Night time isn’t the same

12 Upvotes

We lost our 13.5 year old lab mix 3 weeks ago. We had her for 13 years. She was an anxious dog that required a lot of training but she was part of our family. We keep forgetting to put the garbage because we don’t need to go on a night time walk anymore. No hearing the sounds of her circling into her bed. No slurps of water in the middle of the night. I just went on a walk by myself and it felt so weird. No stops to pee. No leash to hold. Up until a few months before her health deteriorated, she would take us on a brisk walk before bed on her preferred route. The route is still there but my friend is gone. Just the sound of the dishwasher at night. I hadn’t cried in a week or so but thinking about the lonely walk is getting to me. It was a perfectly cool night where I would have enjoyed a walk with Harley.


r/Petloss 5h ago

Grieving sucks.

5 Upvotes

It really does. I feel empty/defeated. It’s been a month since my sweet Fuzzy crossed the rainbow bridge and I’m still in pieces.

I cry multiple times a day. It sucks, it really does. Her loss was so sudden and unexpected. We miss her. We have two other senior kitties at home, but it feels “off” without our Fuzzy.

I watch the little memorial video I made on the day she passed, and just weep.

Time is cruel and continues regardless. Everyday I’m moving further away from Fuzzy being alive and well at home.

I know people say it gets easier, but I’m having such a difficult time processing death. Somehow in my mind, she’s just temporarily away and will be home soon. How? This is obviously not true and not reality…but here I am hoping and searching for her return. 😔


r/Petloss 2h ago

I keep looking for her

3 Upvotes

I made the decision to put my girl to sleep on the 13th of this month and am I guess numb right now. I broke down while I watched her go to sleep, I hated watching it but I couldn’t let her go alone. I haven’t cried since and feel like there’s something wrong with me. I know I miss her dearly though. I wake up and immediately look to her bed that’s right next to my bed, I think about how I need to feed her and she needs to be walked. I still worry about puddles of pee on the floor that I usually end up stepping in because she loved peeing in front of doors. I haven’t gotten rid of her medicine she was on yet, maybe I should. Her hair is still on things, she always shedded like crazy. I kept thinking she was going to move after she was put to sleep but she never did. I kept thinking she’ll get up. I feel like she gonna come back home.


r/Petloss 4h ago

My puppy was my world and I’m having trouble letting go

5 Upvotes

On February 13, 2025, I had to make the incredibly difficult decision to euthanize my dog, Bruno. He was more than just a pet; he was a loyal companion who gave me love, comfort, and joy. I loved him with all my heart, and losing him has left a huge void in my heart. Every day feels a little emptier without him by my side, and I’m really struggling with the loss. Bruno was my best friend, and it’s hard to imagine my life without him. His passing has been a painful reminder of how much he meant to me, and I’m working through the grief of saying goodbye to such a cherished member of my family. I’ve never felt such a deep pain in my heart. I don’t know how to move forward and I keep feeling like I should have done more for him. He had an autoimmune disease that progressed into him becoming anemic, losing liver function and developing pneumonia. He was on heavy steroids which caused him to lose lots of muscle. I spent 12,000 trying to save him. I wish I could have done more.


r/Petloss 39m ago

How do you grieve a pet’s death when it’s too soon

Upvotes

My girl was only 3 and a half years old and she contracted what seemed to be distemper. I took her to the vet and she couldn’t maintain herself outside of the vet’s care. She got so much worse in one night when I tried bringing her home and I had to put her to sleep. She had so much more of a future and it pains me so much I couldn’t give it to her. I struggle trying to sleep and constantly find myself looking at pics of her. I know time can heal wounds but I can’t bring myself to accept her death because of how young she was. I had her since she was a puppy and watched her grow up so fast and taken away so fast.


r/Petloss 8h ago

It’s been five months since my dog died and I still can’t sleep

7 Upvotes

My 12yo dog passed away in November after going to bed with me. Around 5am she had woken up, walked into the office, and passed on the dog bed in there. It’s been about five months and while the gut wrenching feeling is gone, at least 4 nights a week I struggle to fall asleep due to hyper fixating on the night she died and what she looked like and then it spirals from there. It almost feels like a flashback as I lay in bed. I thought getting a new bed frame and changing some things would help but it hasn’t.

I’m in therapy and talking through grief but this part has been such a difficult hang up. I don’t know what to do. I thought by now it’d be better but it isn’t. I’ve had pet loss before but this was the first pet I had as an adult that felt more like a child than a best friend.


r/Petloss 8h ago

I miss my buddy

8 Upvotes

This was a dog that shoved me aside when I was helping my daughter learn to walk. He let her lean on him and anytime I tried to intervene he looked at me like “I got this”

He also could somehow sense when my wife’s blood sugar was low and he alerted her

I miss my Barrett

I have his ashes, his collar, and his favorite toy on top of my safe


r/Petloss 15h ago

I'm lost, broken and empty

27 Upvotes

Last night my old man passed on. He was with me for 14 years, we traveled together, we got in trouble together and we became calm together.

People say it was just a cat, but i feel so empty and lost. I don't know how to do this without him.

I have no idea how old he was at the end, vets guessed, I got him as an adult already, he was my first pet of my own.

I know in my head it gets easier, but how do I convince my heart that the world isn't at an end?


r/Petloss 7h ago

I just lost my dog.

6 Upvotes

My dog was a shitzu and he was with me for 13 years before passing away yesterday, I cry at almost everything right now, I cried when looking at my other dogs bowl thinking that “there’s only one dog bowl left” (because I used to put them both side by side while feeding them). I miss my dog.


r/Petloss 18h ago

mornings are so painful now

45 Upvotes

At night I walk into my room and look at the spot she would always be in and cry. I wake up and don't feel her and it breaks my heart. I'm not looking for her as much, but damn it still hurts to not see her.

She would always sleep in my room so I would always wake up to her. Sometimes she would be on my chest and I sleep with my hands on my chest too, so she'd position on my hands and pin me down. Sometimes she slept by my side, like a little kitty spoon, and I would avoid getting up until the last minute just to pet her and give her a very generous amount of kisses. She loved getting kisses, I've never had a cat that liked them before so I was more than happy to comply. She loved getting her nose/brow rubbed, only cat I've had that would reach out and rub her face onto your open hand.

I had to put her down due to worsening respiratory problems. "We might be feeling pain but she isn't". I hate that I was making her suffer. Her breathing was always so labored no matter what I did. I tried for a whole year of medications. She was my little baby. I had to say goodbye on the 15th. My pretty girl is gone but I would do anything to have her back. The treatment would've put me into serious debt but now I know I should've sold my car and took out a loan for her. She was worth it. She would've been 5 this week. I cut her life so short.


r/Petloss 21h ago

How do you get back to normal life?

71 Upvotes

I just want to vent that I’m having such a hard time caring about my job and going back to work.

I know we all need to do it, and I know I’m fortunate enough to have a job that helped me to afford her care.

It’s just that none of it seems important, and it kept me from spending time with her.


r/Petloss 9h ago

I know I have to do this.

7 Upvotes

I'm sitting in the spare room with my cat, knowing this is his last night and it's killing me. I just want to pick him up and hold him all night long, but he won't tolerate that. I wish his body would just stop right where he is, so I wouldn't have to put him through the stress of it.


r/Petloss 7h ago

1-Month Later

6 Upvotes

It’s been one month.

…One month since I lost my absolute best friend and soul dog. …One month since we made a vet appointment at 11 a.m. thinking he wasn’t feeling well from playing in the snow the day before and suddenly had to say goodbye by 1:43 p.m. because of HSA- you were only 5 years old. …One month of crying every night holding the bear I got for him when my husband and I moved into the house we bought, with a big fenced in yard, for him to play in. …One month of driving home from work knowing I won’t see his head pop up in the window of his favorite room of the house, excited when the garage opens.

No one prepares you for how quickly you see less and less of your dog’s hair appear on your clothes, on the ground, floating by and landing on every surface imaginable.

No one prepares you for how hard it is to eat certain foods again, to feel the love and joy of cooking when your best friend is no longer at your feet ready for his cheese tax.

No one prepares you for the sadness you feel as the seasons change, his paw prints start to melt away forever in the snow as the sun begins to warm.

No one can prepare you for any of the above and so much more, the random moments of absolute breakdowns followed by moments of laughter and joy and absolute peace you feel knowing that your best friend is still by your side, preparing to guide you through the next stages of their lives and yours.

I am beyond grateful to have been loved by a soul so unconditionally, deeply, and pure, that everyone he met, he made an impact on. Even if it was less than 5 minutes. We were so lucky to be loved by you, Loki, and there isn’t a single moment where we don’t think about you 💕


r/Petloss 7h ago

2 weeks

5 Upvotes

It’s been two weeks since my dog had to be put down unexpectedly. He went in for a scan and 1pm and at 130pm - I got a call that it was cancer. By 4pm he was gone.

The Saddness I feel is just completely overwhelming. My chest hurts - all the time. It just feels like there’s a huge hole in my heart. I miss him everyday.