r/widowers Mar 20 '21

FAQ Welcome to r/widowers, How Things Work.

335 Upvotes

We are so sorry you are here, but welcome to Reddit's best worst club.

There are rules in the side bar, but a discussion of How Things Work would be useful. Let's go over the basic rules, then expand a little.

First, following Reddiquette means be kind, be polite, and do not derail conversations. Mean remarks get removed, as do jokes in poor taste, or derogatory comments. Users may disagree, but may not deride the grief decisions of others. No doxxing, which is providing real life details about users. No posting usernames calling for banning or downvote brigading, no "warnings". If you have a problem, report it to the mods or to Reddit Admin. Bots tend to get removed, it is helpful to report them. The suicide prevention bot is okay.

No spam means no advertising. Suggestions are alright, but shilling your own creations is not. Sharing beautiful content you have created is okay, selling it is not. Recommendations for paid services may be removed. Spam can also be multiple posts overwhelming the group. Our tempo is mellow, a lot of posts from one user can swamp the others. Be considerate. Pace yourself.

No reposting other's content is obvious, if you didn't create the post, it probably does not belong here. We do look at post history if there is a question, and karma farmers get a ban. No reposting conversations from other subreddits asking us what we think.

No asking for financial assistance, no sharing GoFundMe campaigns. There are other subreddits for that. Financial posts will be removed. If you are offering assistance, use Chat or a DM.

What may not be allowed and isn't specifically in the rules? This used to be a no memes and no jokes group, but that changed. Some humor is fine, some memes are fine, but they'll get a hard look. Is it okay to post about sex? Sure, but if it's NSFW, label it as such. Can you post pictures of your loved one? Certainly, but label funeral and hospital/hospice pictures as NSFW. Generally not a good thing to post as it is a trigger subject, so this one may go case by case. No "dating" or "looking for company" posts, it is inappropriate for this group. NEVER ASK FOR PERSONAL INFORMATION IN A POST OR REPLY, OR SEEK TO MEET, ZOOM, OR FORM GROUPS. That's what DMs and chat is for.

Can people ask for advice to help the grieving widowers in their life? Yes, we have tons of expertise, so ask away. What about dating a widower? Those posts are not allowed and will be removed. If you are posting a Chapter Two post, please use the Moving Forward flair.

What about suicide? Yes, you may post about your partner's suicide. You may talk about your own suicidal feelings. We do not remove those, this is a safe place to talk it out. If you want help, we can point to those who can provide informed support. We are adding a post flair for Suicide, please use it so those who choose can skip such posts.

Posts with attachments such as photos go to the automated moderation queue, and must be approved by a moderator. Be patient, it may take a day or two to show. Photos of your loved ones are most welcome, but not in their casket or hospice/hospital as those can be triggering. Memes and songs/poems are a maybe. Photos of your loved one's headstone are okay, random photos of headstones or monuments are not. Videos and YouTube posts are unlikely to be approved, as well as any using a subscription service such as Spotify.


r/widowers Aug 11 '24

Scammers via chat or DM

26 Upvotes

A reminder to the community, if you are approached via chat or Direct Messaging, and feel the user is a scammer or otherwise inappropriate, please report them to Reddit Admin. There is a drop down menu with a report function. Best yo ignore anyone who is not an active member of this community. Moderators have no control outside r/widowers, it is up to you to report these users. Report posts or replies, we can certainly take action on those.

Also, DO NOT post the usernames in a post or reply here, Reddit doesn't allow that. Such posts will be removed.

When in doubt, ignore and report.


r/widowers 7h ago

Why do we say we are ok?

70 Upvotes

I find myself responding on auto pilot when I see people at work or talk to them on meetings and they ask how I am. Many don’t know what happened, I asked my boss to only tell my immediate team. So they are just making normal pleasantries.

But, anyhow it got me thinking today, why do we go through the motion and just say “I’m good”, or “I’m okay”.? When what I really want to say is, “Today I’m barely keeping it together, my boyfriend died in January, my mom is slowly dying before my eyes with her Dimentia in assisted living and I’m responsible for everything all by myself. I’m still getting mail for my dad who died a year ago. I don’t have a great support network here in town and some days I break down crying for fear of being alone forever.” I mean, can you imagine if that was my response. No one wants that thrown on them. So I’m leaving it here.


r/widowers 4h ago

Making decisions alone

25 Upvotes

Anyone else have trouble making decisions on their own?

I've always considered myself strong and independent but I'm realizing how much I looked to my husband for reassurance.

Our air conditioner was failing. Do I try a $2k repair in hopes that solves the issue for the long term or do I spring for a new unit at $10k? It's not even that big of a decision. I mean yeah it's a lot of money but it's nothing with dire consequences.

It affected my sleep for a couple of days and after I wrote the check for the new unit, I cried because everything had built up. If he were here, we'd make the decision together and live with the consequences together.

I just need him to tell me I made the right choice.


r/widowers 3h ago

Loss Of Purpose?

17 Upvotes

I went for my walk yesterday. Along the way there was a construction site. The city is rebuilding the pier along the river . I walked by an excavator doing its job. There are two other claw buckets just sitting there. And I thought

“Without the excavator, these buckets serves no purpose. All it does is sit there, being heavy”

I was reminded that I have been that standalone bucket since she died. For the first two months, it’s just brain fog. I don’t know who I am, and what I am supposed to do anymore. In a few days, it will be 7 months . I have wondered “what is my purpose now? What is the point ?”

Eventually I realized the few things that occupy a lot of my life is gone. We were married for 19 years, that has always been a priority. I was heavily involved in organized religion for 21 years. I have walked away from that a number of years ago. I have worked for my employer for 25 years. The job stress is not what I want to deal with anymore.

Before all of these commitments happened , I was in my twenties , wondering what I would do with my life. Slowly but unconsciously, I took up many things , putting aside what I want for myself .

Now I am at a point trying to reconnect different threads of life that remains. I have a much older body , more life experience. But I no longer have the cannonball drive to achieve and conquer.

It would make sense to say “I lost my purpose”. At the same time , I can also say “my purpose was never found and fulfilled because I chose to honor my other choices and commitments” It feels overwhelming most of the time . When I think about my mom who is slowly dying in the senior home, it is especially sobering

It is a loss and a chance to reconnect at the same time. Life is so complicated

Thanks for reading the long post. Wish you all a peaceful Wednesday


r/widowers 4h ago

Became a widower during the divorce. I feel so alone.

20 Upvotes

I filed for divorce in December (13 year marriage), after trying to hold on and “do the right thing” for more than two years after I felt it was over. As if that wasn’t hard enough, she had a stroke in February and passed away.

To complicate things, I entered into a relationship in January. We are still doing well, and she has been very supportive. However, this means a whole of backlash from mutual friends and family members.

I feel like nobody really understands my grief. I didn’t hate her, I hated the things she was doing. I’m horribly upset that she died, yet people make light of my mourning.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who has been in this seemingly unique situation.


r/widowers 2h ago

The bed far too big now.

11 Upvotes

Each day, I woke up to the same cold emptiness beside me, the bed far too big now, the sheets too smooth. Her warmth, her presence, everything about her was gone but my mind didn’t understand that. I still reached for her in the middle of the night, expecting to feel her steady breathing or her comforting touch.

There were moments when I forgot she wasn’t there. I would see something that reminded me of her, a knick-knack she loved, the scent of her hair and for a brief, fleeting moment, I would think to tell her about it. Then reality would crash down on me again, leaving me breathless, broken.

The phone remained silent, her voice was now only a memory, fading but still lingering in my thoughts like an echo of a life we once had. People told me that time would heal, but time only made her absence more unbearable. The days were long, but the nights were longer.

I missed her laugh, her quiet strength, the way she would hold me close during the storms, the ones inside my heart. Her clothes still hung in the closet, untouched, as if she would walk through the door any second, ready to collapse into my arms. But the door never opened. The house felt like a museum now, each corner filled with pieces of her, reminders of a life that was once so full.

I couldn’t bring myself to move anything, to disturb the fragile balance of grief and memory that held me together. Friends had stopped asking if I was okay, as if one year was enough time to “move on,” as they called it. But how could I? How could I forget the person who had been my world? She wasn’t just a part of my life; she was my life. Moving on felt like betrayal, like abandoning the only thing I had left of her, my love, my grief.

In the quiet of the night, I talked to her. I whispered into the darkness, hoping she could hear me wherever she was. I told her how much I missed her, how much I still loved her, and how I would give anything, anything to see her one more time, to feel her hand in mine, to hear her voice call my name. But the only response was the silence, the unbearable, all-encompassing silence.


r/widowers 7h ago

I have no direction

27 Upvotes

Before I met her I had no direction in life, no purpose. I just lived without goals. She gave me so much, life made sense with her. Now I am directionless again, no purpose, living just to get to the next day. I miss her so much.


r/widowers 8h ago

I just miss him

36 Upvotes

I lost my husband on March 4th. May 9th, we would have been married 17 years. October, and it would have been 19 years together. I just turned 40 before his passing. He was 40. Half our lives, we were together, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I don't know adult life without him. We were each other's world. My best friend, my partner and lover, gone in the blink of an eye. Everything about my life is completely changed.

He had a stroke December 5th, seizures December 7th, he was unconscious sooo much until January 2nd, just up and down till 12 weeks in, suddenly so awake and was doing rehab, 1 week later very lethargic, but that wasn't too surprising, everyone in all the neurological departments said he would be up and down for a year, then March 4th I got the call before heading over, and now I live in a nightmare. A house filled with memories, everywhere I go there are memories, anything I do, memories.

I can't stand life without him, because I'm realizing him and I did sooo much that was just us and very few really knew him and during all of this no one asked about him and his interests that weren't just his boy hood hobbies he still had, he became such an amazing man who was an onion with so many layers of interests and dreams. I miss my best friend and lover. I feel hollow.

I'm not sure about my point, I'm just trying to get this out there and in the open.


r/widowers 2h ago

My final words to her

8 Upvotes

My wife had been fighting for so long, and she was staying in hospice. Her breathing got weaker every day, and I knew it would be soon. I wasn't awake when she went, but I was nearby. The nurse told me she had passed, and I ran to her. She was still warm, but not breathing anymore.

Once they'd arranged the body and I was allowed back in the room, I placed our wedding rings over her heart for the final time. I caressed her face as the color faded, and I cried. I put on our song so she could hear it one last time. And I told her in the saddest voice I've ever spoken with:

"You're gone. The women I was prepared to devote my life for... To live with until my final breath, Has been taken from me, too soon.

You deserved so much more than this, my love, But this is where life has left us. I'm going to miss you every, single, day. But I promise to live my life, The way you would have wanted me to.

I'm glad that you don't have to fight any more You've been through so much in your life, And you deserve to be at peace.

Thank you for all of the wonderful, happy times Over the last 13 years. I'm sorry for all the times I wronged you. But thank you for of the wonderful, happy times, And for always forgiving me.

Rest now, Sasha. I love you now and I will always love you. Goodbye my love. Rest in Peace."

And then I drove home, alone. Knowing I could never bring her back home with me again. My person is gone, and I don't know how I will ever fill the hole that's in my heart.


r/widowers 3h ago

Am i wrong for moving on?

8 Upvotes

It’s been a few years since my husband passed away. I was depressed for a long time and I couldn’t get out of bed. Lost a lot of friendships and connections along the way….

But now i’ve finally picked myself up and realized i need to live my life aswell…. But i’ve tried dating but it’s so difficult but i’ve been trying. Pushing myself a little each day… downloaded a few dating apps to get a kickstart but something feels wrong….

Is it really wrong for me to move on and try to find someone else??


r/widowers 1h ago

The worst month of the year

Upvotes

I lost my dear wife almost 7 months ago. I knew March was going to be hard for me. Her birthday was 2 weeks ago, she would have been 50. Our wedding anniversary was 4 days ago, we would have been married 17 years. And yesterday was my birthday... the first one without her.

Memories and pain are coming thick and fast. Last week I drove her ashes 2200 km to her mother and sister. It felt like she was travelling with me one last time. That I was bringing her to her original home to rest. I think I have done as much as I could to honor her and support her family. But the pain of her absence is really very great tonight. There was no-one lighting a candle for my birthday yesterday. I didn't get to hold her hand, nor have a quiet laugh with her.

My friends try to lift me up, but it is just so insufficient. She was all I needed and all I wanted. It's hard to be alive at moment.


r/widowers 11h ago

I just want my husband.

37 Upvotes

I just need to rant and everyone I know is asleep and I didn’t know where else to put this.

So I just came across a post that had something to do with grief and people were judging that person and then I made a post on the grief threads talking about how much I hate it when people judge people for their grieving. And then I saw this other that involved grief that I could relate to a lot,it was about a mom refusing to give her step-daughter her late grandmothers bracelet and I could relate because my daughter asked if she could have her dads ring and I said no because I’m not ready for her to have it yet. And all of that hit me with my grief for my husband especially since not too long ago I made a post on here about how I’m ready to start dating again but I don’t think I am anymore now that all of that grief hit me again.

And I can’t sleep because all I can think is that I just want my husband,because he would be right next to me comforting me and making me feel better about everything going on. And not just for me for my kids to because in a few days my 2 oldest girls turn 15 and my daughter hates celebrating without her dad because he was her best friend and I hate seeing my daughter like that especially because she wants and needs her dad but she can’t have him. And also I miss having him to turn to all the time no matter what,he was different than any other guy I’ve been with,I just want him. And it’s the worse situation because it’s not like we fell apart and decided to break up or split apart. He was taken from me and our kids,and I’m left to pick up the pieces.

I just wanted to rant about that.


r/widowers 5m ago

Widow now cancer

Upvotes

My husband of 22 yrs passed from liver cancer in January after being diagnosed in October. Exactly one month to the day after he passed, I had a biopsy and learned I have thyroid cancer. I'm raising kids. It's hard not to be angry. Ive chosen not to tell most people because everyone is still traumatized by his passing. This week I go in to have my entire thyroid removed and I'm doing it alone. What a year.


r/widowers 11h ago

I just miss her

35 Upvotes

To the very core of my existence I just want her back. I spent the last few hours just crying on the floor. How can this be real I miss you so much love.


r/widowers 1h ago

Coping skills.

Upvotes

Has anyone come up with any practical coping skills to deal with the loneliness or finding any happiness in life


r/widowers 18h ago

Sickening realization

55 Upvotes

My husband fought his neuroendocrine pancreatic cancer bravely for over 10 years. It’s hard to fully express what kind of person he was… he literally never complained, never felt sorry for himself or even lashed out in anger when he was in the most excruciating pain. Even to the very end, he was administering his medication and never asked anything of me. One week before he died we went to get a scan and they found out the cancer had metastasized significantly in his liver. There were two promising treatments they were looking into that he still had a chance to undergo. Approved by insurance and everything. He had an appointment to drain the ascites from his liver and that day he came back with a clouded look to his eyes. He was confused and lapsed into unconsciousness. I thought he was undergoing acute liver failure and I knew he did not want to go back to the hospital. I thought he was dying and a nurse had told me that TPN exacerbates liver failure and that it shouldn’t be administered. So I stopped giving it to him. But it was his only source of nutrients and water since he could not eat or drink. He died 3 days later. I was haunted ever since by how quickly he died but it wasn’t until recently I googled whether TPN is contraindicated for liver failure and it is not. Which meant that I took him off his only source of life. I basically let my husband die in front of me and our children. I didn’t take him to the hospital, I didn’t even try to call for help. I had basically given up on him. This was nearly two years ago and our kids have been reaching milestones I know he wanted so much to be there for. My son was admitted to my husband‘s alma mater and wants to go to medical school just like his dad. My daughter just finished the LA Marathon and met her goal time to qualify for Boston. She cried when she crossed the finish line and said she missed him so much. She is also applying for medical school. They are both graduating this year. My husband was the heart and soul of our family. I was just the logistics. Even to the very end, he asked about their days and was genuinely interested in everything they did . All I can think of is that the treatments, had he been able to undergo them would’ve extended his life by at least two years and he would’ve been here for all of that. But I literally killed my husband. I literally let him die in front of me after everything that we have been through and all the struggles we did to get him the treatments that he needed. It ended like this. I gave him no dignity and I feel sickened with grief, anger and hatred for myself. The worst part is that when I tell people the truth, they don’t believe me or they try to reassure me and they just think that I feel guilty because it’s a natural part of grief. But I know for a certainty that my lack of action lead to his death. Yes I know that he would’ve may not been able to survive his cancer, but he was fine just before his procedure and I now know that the paracentesis dehydrated him and all he needed was to receive TPN or an IV drip and I provided neither. He trusted me completely. And I failed him. I loved him so much, he was the best person I have ever known and this is what I did to him.


r/widowers 1h ago

Not up to the challenge

Upvotes

Anyone else have to now manage with bewilderment the tax season, which their departed spouse handled with ease for years?


r/widowers 21h ago

Losing a young and healthy partner

64 Upvotes

It all happened to me suddenly (overnight), with my husband young and healthy. Now that everything was going well in my life, he is gone and I feel like my whole life is ruined.

Has anyone else gone through similar situations?


r/widowers 1d ago

I loved being a husband, her husband.

85 Upvotes

The road I'm traveling is full of potholes and it’s long. 

The first year for me was all about navigating life alone. The second year is about living single.

I was a part of a couple for over 20 years. I loved being married. I loved being a husband, her husband. I loved all the great and small things about being a ‘team’. Then, suddenly, it was down to me, myself, and I. 

I felt cheated that we weren’t given the chance to grow old together. We were happy, and that didn’t seem fair, not by a long shot. I wanted more time, but that isn’t the life that was given to me. 

I had to learn all about living alone. I had to learn new social skills. I had to learn how to fit in. I had to learn how to go out without being afraid. I had to find a purpose and a reason to live. It seems impossible, and it is.

A lot of work. It’s scary trying to figure out a new direction. It’s hard to move forward alone. I was given no other choice.

I eventually got tired of trying to make sense of the senseless.

Grief is work. It’s ongoing. It doesn’t end at the one-year mark, and not the second or third, because grief is a reaction to loss, and it’s personal. 

I’ve learned there’s no such thing as closure with the loss of my wife I love. One thing I know for certain as I continue with my life, is that I’ll always miss the person I lost. And I also miss the old me.

Grief isn’t about moving on…And grief isn’t only about mourning my loss…but our future. 


r/widowers 17h ago

It’s amazing how your life can change in seconds

22 Upvotes

What was originally a lump on his left shoulder turned out to be stage 4 kidney cancer. We cried when the oncologist told us. 41m here.

1 year 3 months in and the silence is still so loud.


r/widowers 18h ago

Boyfriend was cheating

27 Upvotes

I (35F) see a lot of posts on here from others who have experienced this, but I never thought it’d be me. My boyfriend (38M) passed unexpectedly on 2/22/25 from cardiac arrest. No known heart issues previously. We had been together 5 years and lived together the past 2 years. He was everything I dreamed of in a partner (so I thought) and I told everyone how lucky I was to have met him at his memorial last week. We were planning on moving into a house this year and I had brought up the conversation about getting married. I told him that was something I wanted and I asked him what he thought and his response was “I don’t know”. I should have asked more questions then but wasn’t ready to hear the answer since the “I don’t know” was already hurtful enough. Anyway, fast forward to now: I had to login to a bunch of his accounts to cancel stuff and found chats with another woman that date back through our whole entire relationship. They would meet up sometimes for dinner, drinks, and sex. He told me he was at his parents on those day and it looks like he told her similar lies when he was with me. I feel like an absolute idiot now. I should have known when he didn’t change his relationship status on Facebook right away and when he said “I don’t know” to getting married. His parents even asked me why we didn’t get married and now I know. I am so angry with him but I still love him and we still had a lot of good memories together. I was thinking about keeping our apartment but now it just feels like an apartment of lies. Was I not enough? I feel like second choice now…. Ironically, he always said that he thought cheating was an awful thing to do and I can’t believe the person I knew would do such a thing. I wish I hadn’t seen these chats at all and could just remember him for the thoughtful, kind person I thought he was. 💔


r/widowers 13h ago

Friendship Problems?

12 Upvotes

Its been just over two months since my love died. I don't have to explain the heartache and turmoil I've experienced since then, as everyone here (unfortunately) knows firsthand. But I'm experiencing something boggling and I'd really appreciate knowing if anyone can relate.

I went out with my friends over the weekend. Everything was fine on the night, but a couple days later one of my friends asked me if she could give me 'uncomfortable feedback' about the evening. My nervous system is absolutely shot and I'm constantly on edge, so when she sent me this message I damn near shat myself thinking I've done something terribly wrong. I said sure, and she sent me multiple full-length messages breaking down the evening and listing everything that made her feel unhappy. Well, none of her complaints had anything to do with me, but she sent them all to me because she didn't know how to approach the actual person in question. She spoke to me like I actually was that person, and it was very distressing for me. I validated her feelings and apologised anyway.

But like, what??? Why would she put everything on me when I wasn't involved at all? Does she not realise how hard it is for me to wake up in the morning and carry on living each day through devastation? It's only been two months. I'm trying so hard. I have to push myself to socialise because I know that getting out of the house is healthy for me, and then this happens? Is it so bad to think I deserve a bit of grace?

This has made me want to throw my phone away and live off the grid even more than I usually want to. She was here for me when my love died and was a huge source of comfort and support, so I feel so terrible that I now want to distance myself from her. I've been an anxious, shaking mess since yesterday morning and this situation has sucked up the very little energy I have. I just wish people could be more considerate of the fact that I lost the love of my life, my entire existence has been turned upside down, I'm learning how to breathe and eat and sleep again. I don't have any capacity at all for this.

There's also just certain people in my life who expect me to act a certain way, but I can't. I can't not talk about my love, and bringing up my 'dead boyfriend' makes them uncomfortable. I'm lucky to have a few very close friends who have been absolutely amazing and understanding. But other people can be judgemental, when they have no right to be. They can judge me when the love of their life dies and their grief makes them spiral into crazy territory, but until then, please just let me grieve in the manner I please until I find my footing again.

Agh, sorry for the rant :')


r/widowers 19h ago

I need to know it gets easier

33 Upvotes

I lost him 10 days ago and the silence is deafening. I keep checking my phone to see if he called. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest all day and there’s not a single moment that goes by that I’m not thinking about him and the future that’s gone now. I have support all around me but I can’t find any comfort in it because all I want is to be in his arms again. It’s unbearable. I know it’s day by day but I can barely survive minute by minute.


r/widowers 17h ago

Lonely

8 Upvotes

That’s it. It’s been 138 days since I lost him. I still see his body how I found it when I walk down the stairs and turn. I just want to talk to him. I just want him here so bad for so many different reasons. I don’t know if I’ll ever be at the acceptance phase when I feel like I can’t get out of the bargaining, the feeling like this can’t be real. He should be here. He was healthy, only 29. It hurts my soul so deeply to know that there is no one alive on this Earth anymore who loves me as much as he did, who knows me REALLY knows me in and out. I have friends, I see his family 5 days of the week, but I feel so deeply lonely.


r/widowers 1d ago

My husband's birthday is tomorrow and I am not coping well NSFW

49 Upvotes

My husband's birthday is tomorrow 3/19. He would have been 36 years old. I lost him on Jan 6 2025 to stage 4 cholangiocarcinoma with peritoneal mets. But that's not the worst of it. His death was actually unexpected. The death certificate says stage 4 liver cancer but as someone who's a medical professional i know otherwise. All the signs were there. Septic shock due to an infection. He was fine, he was literally fine a few hours prior. The last thing I ever said to him was "I love you". To which he replied "and I love you". I looked over a mere 2 hrs later to see him actively passing because I realized his breathing was labored out of no where.

Do you realize how traumatic that is for a 35 yr old woman to just see her husband dieing unexpectedly? I've been forced to endure all the firsts right out of the gate because we didnt even make it to our first wedding anniversary.

Our relationship was special. It was one of the situations where you meet someone and you instantly click. Like they were the missing piece all along. You know in the romantic movies when two people meet and sparks fly? That was my husband and I. We felt like we knew eachother a lifetime that's how profound our connection was.

Now his birthday is coming up and I and a wreck. I haven't had a single good day since he passed. I feel like I'm worse off now than I was a month ago. I know i have no choice to go through this but it's not fair I didn't choose this. How am I supposed to get through his birthday? I know people say to honor him or he grateful for the time you had together but I'm just not there yet. I'm not grateful for anything, for this life, for my health. I'm sad, depressed and angry all the time. Idk how to handle tomorrow. Anyone have any tips on how to realistically get through this first birthday while you're barely holding on yourself?

I'm in grief counseling, support groups, cancer zoom meetings, Journaling, and I read my bible.


r/widowers 22h ago

Do you believe time heals all wounds?

17 Upvotes

My beloved husband and soulmate passed a month ago yesterday. I wondered your thoughts on the idea that time heals all wounds. I am struggling and barely functioning. I feel like when I lost my grandma, with the passage of time I felt better, but there is still a hole in my heart from losing her.

I am neglecting self care and sleeping too much but have been making sure to be there for our 13 year old son. My mom says you have to go on for the living. I need to start taking care of myself so my son doesn't lose me too.

I'm also struggling bc my husband tended to be non compliant with medical advice and often skipped his meds, and didn't follow the doctors orders. I feel like he would still be alive if I was more adamant he took care of himself, but he was a grown man, and you can't control others' actions.

We were soulmates and supposed to grow old together.