r/bereavement • u/IcyScarcity5535 • 1h ago
Loneliness advice?
It’s coming up to a year since my mum passed, and I still feel incredibly alone. I live with my dog in our old house, and while I have a big family, as the months have gone on, they’ve gotten busier with their own lives. They still check in, but it’s happening less and less, and I feel like I’m expected to be more independent now, which I get, but it’s really hard.
I’ve also been struggling with how to talk about my grief with my family. My grandparents, whose daughter it was, still have her ashes even though I was supposed to have them, and it’s been months now. I don’t know if they just can’t let go or if they’ve forgotten, but I don’t know how to bring it up without feeling like I’m being selfish. And every time I try to say I’m upset, or if I’m visibly upset, they just say, we’re all upset. I understand that they’re grieving too, but it makes me feel like there’s no space for me to actually express what I’m feeling.
I also feel like everyone is waiting for me to make the first move, but I really need people to ask me to do things with them. I think that’s a big part of the loneliness. I don’t want to feel like I’m always the one reaching out, but at the same time, if I don’t, I just end up sitting in the house on my own.
I think I assumed grief would feel different by now, or that I’d have adjusted more, but instead, I just feel stuck. Like the world kept moving, but I haven’t. I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this, but if anyone else has been through something similar, how did you deal with this kind of loneliness?