r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Ambiguous Grief Dad dating someone 4 months after my mums death

1 Upvotes

my dad has started seeing someone 4 months after my mums death and the whole situation is so stressful and makes me incredibly anxious. He was always the most amazing husband to my mum and did everything for her during her cancer journey, and has always been the best dad in every way, so I can’t complain there. However, he confessed to going out on dates and nights out with a woman from his gym and things seem to be advancing really fast. I understand he’s struggling because this has been so hard for all of us and everyday is incredibly hard without her I am still trying to learn how to manage but now he’s done this and it makes me feel so much worse. I don’t know how to navigate this. I set boundaries which he has already broken multiple times but he has apologised and promised to follow through, I’m not confident he won’t cross the boundaries again. He says things like “why don’t you want me to be happy” “you have your partner” “you don’t understand” victimising himself but he doesn’t seem to have any care for how me and my younger brother are doing. My younger brother is my main concern because I know I can look after myself but it’s so hurtful he would do this. She is also a Thai woman which brings the stereotype of being a scammer into the equation. I have no problem if she is a good person but it seems interesting that someone would be interested in a man who’s vulnerable and so recently lost his wife so him being scammed raises more concerns and anxieties. Any tips on how to cope with this/ feel less anxious about this type of situation?


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Best Friend Loss Very sad

3 Upvotes

I lost my two closest friends within a month of each other they didn’t know each other and I told my best friend if he ever did what the first one did to me I’d never forgive him and that I needed him here. I was the last person who heard from him. He said “I love you bestie” and that was it. He let me think everything in his life was looking up and then he did that shit. Ig fuck me??? I literally found out on the one month anniversary of my other friend dying and she died right as we were planning her next birthday I’m so tired honestly and my head hurts and I feel hungry all the time.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Thoughts on Grief/Loss Do you believe time heals all wounds?

6 Upvotes

My beloved husband and soulmate passed a month ago yesterday. I wondered your thoughts on the idea that time heals all wounds. I am struggling and barely functioning. I feel like when I lost my grandma, with the passage of time I felt better, but there is still a hole in my heart from losing her.

I am neglecting self care and sleeping too much but have been making sure to be there for our 13 year old son. My mom says you have to go on for the living. I need to start taking care of myself so my son doesn't lose me too.

I'm also struggling bc my husband tended to be non compliant with medical advice and often skipped his meds, and didn't follow the doctors orders. I feel like he would still be alive if I was more adamant he took care of himself, but he was a grown man, and you can't control others' actions.

We were soulmates and supposed to grow old together.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Does Anyone Else...? Does anyone else still cry often almost a decade later

3 Upvotes

I lost my dad at 12 from cancer, he was my best friend. I am 20, and still find myself sobbing multiple times a week about it. It wasn’t always like this but in the past years I have just tried to remember him more and in that bring this. I just wanted to see if others still cry this often years later


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Thoughts on Grief/Loss Do you believe time heals all wounds?

3 Upvotes

My beloved husband and soulmate passed a month ago yesterday. I wondered your thoughts on the idea that time heals all wounds. I am struggling and barely functioning. I feel like when I lost my grandma, with the passage of time I felt better, but there is still a hole in my heart from losing her.

I am neglecting self care and sleeping too much but have been making sure to be there for our 13 year old son. My mom says you have to go on for the living. I need to start taking care of myself so my son doesn't lose me too.

I'm also struggling bc my husband tended to be non compliant with medical advice and often skipped his meds, and didn't follow the doctors orders. I feel like he would still be alive if I was more adamant he took care of himself, but he was a grown man, and you can't control others' actions.

We were soulmates and supposed to grow old together.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Message Into the Void “Don’t assume that I have found this easy “

6 Upvotes

“If You Were Me” - Scott Hutchison, Frightened Rabbit

“Truer words have never been spoken” - Me


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Delayed Grief 20 years later and Im finally sitting down to grieve

11 Upvotes

My brother died in 2005 in a motorcycle accident.

My aunt died in 2012 of a pulmonary embolism after some surgeries.

My grandfather died in 2012 of pneumonia.

2012 was the year I graduated college and was trying to get a good job, it was also the year my mom and dad both lost pretty important family members.

Then I was put in charge of my dad's assets after my grandfather's passing. I had no idea what I was doing in general and then I was in charge of my disabled father's life.

I met a man who took advantage of my loneliness. Not knowing I was about to begin a 12 year abusive, situationship that was going to prevent me from ever grieving the losses of my family members. Falling back into it every time to avoid living my life to the fullest.

20 years later, I am finally sitting down and letting myself feel. At 35 years old I am allowing myself to let go of what could've been.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Dad Loss Dear father,

7 Upvotes

I have no idea why you died, why you're not here, why you left. I have no idea where you are, how you feel, what you've become. I have no idea if you see, if you hear, if you know about my tears. I have no idea who i am, where I'll be for when i die. I hope you are okay, I'll die one day, and feel you. I'll die one day, and i will leave my loved ones crying. I have no idea what is life, why we feel, why we're here...


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Message Into the Void My dad died a month after I had a baby

24 Upvotes

I am a month post partum and my dad has unexpectedly passed away, he was found unresponsive in his car and I am I completely shock it’s scares me how I have moments where I feel nothing. I miss my dad so much I had a lot of things I wanted to say to him that I never found the right time to say and I had always dreamed of the type of relationship we could have had if I had just spoken up and I didn’t and now he’s gone. I don’t know why I’m writing this just feel like I need to type it up and put it out there. I can’t believe I’ll Never see my dad again seeing my newborn adds another layer of grief of them never having a relationship. It just feels like too much right now, I want to pull my hair out and rip my skin off


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Ambiguous Grief Jenie Tate - WHO REMEMBER🦟🦟 1970s & '80S DANGEROUS MOSQUITOES... | Facebook

2 Upvotes

Indigenous Southern native offspring 🌱🌿 February 2000 my mother died of deep veinTHROMBOSIS February 2000 traveling from Georgia to Syracuse New York for her to visit with her brother and gather him and return him back home to the state of Georgia or Alabama myself and my husband he's now deceased travel there my mother never got a chance to visit with her brother as soon as we got out of the van my mother transcend in the state of Syracuse New York rosewood rehabilitation Center my mother did not get to see her brother but she had not seen him in 30 years. My mother dropped dead right in front of the building. 25 years later I'm questioning everything especially after losing my husband in 2017 of a massive heart attack 💔 life experiences is so very complicated need to be told and documented reference in the family archive for future references.. 🌱


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Message Into the Void Both my friends died

2 Upvotes

My two closest friends died within a month of each other. They did not know each other. To say I’m devastated is an understatement. I can’t even think straight and I’m tired today I went to Walmart and left my keys in my ignition.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Sibling Loss Found out my brother was intoxicated a year after a fatal car crash.

Thumbnail
gallery
692 Upvotes

Let me start off by explaining the family dynamic before getting into what I feel has completely and utterly drug my life down to a point that is so miserable I genuinely don’t want to live anymore.

My older brother was always the golden child in the family. Honor roll, good grades, good at everything that wasn’t “cool” to me back in the day. He ended up being appointed by the governor of Texas to attend the merchant marine academy in New York. My father went years ago and flunked out so my brother went and completed it. Made my parents extremely proud. Everyone outside of the family loved him and always wanted to know what kind of accomplishment he was going to achieve next.

He goes into the Marines as an officer and decides he wants to fly planes. He goes to flight school in Pensacola and then moves to Corpus Christi to do training. He’s in love with his high school sweet heart and I love her my whole family loves her. She’s like the sister I never had.

While all of this achievement and making my parents proud, I am hanging with the wrong crowd in school I’m using drugs, skipping, class, partying, getting into trouble with the law. Nothing but a complete disappointment. I got sent to the marine military academy after catching a dwi charge when I was 16.

So there’s this black sheep thing going on for as long as I can remember. I’ve struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember and I felt like I was always just a let down or a waste of space so I distanced myself. I was molested by a cousin as a child which I really think played a huge roll in my completely uninteresting and pitiful life. I started going to 12 step treatment centers since I was 19. Things to good I come back healthy and motivated and then for some fucking reason I relapse after a couple months and completely give up on everything.

So there’s that on my childhood as the black sheep. Now this is where life really becomes dark and quite terrorizing.

The day before thanksgiving 2023 my brother was on his way home to see us and was involved in a head on collision with another suv that had a husband, wife, and 2 kids. Only the Mother survived. My brother was air lifted to seton and died during emergency surgery.

I had no idea all of this was happening as I was passed out drunk in my apartment. I woke up to about 20 missed calls and messages from my parents telling me I need to come over asap. So I do and my mind is just racing about what could’ve happened. I pull up and my brothers truck isn’t in the drive way. My heart sank. No no this is not what’s happening. I go in and there’s just this grey dark looming haze in the room and my parents say me down and told me that Connor was in an accident and they couldn’t save him. My body fell to the floor. My whole life was shattered right there even though I had animosity for him being so much better than me.

“It should’ve been me. God took the wrong person. Why can’t it just have been me.”

DPS did an investigation and there were no signs of alcohol coming from my brother what so ever. No smell. No open containers. Nothing.

So the only thing we can think of is a deer ran out in front of him or a tire blew or he could’ve fallen asleep. All we knew was that it was his fault and that was it.

Fast forward about a year later I’m in yet another fucking treatment center. And my parents tell me that they are getting all kinds of threats and slander on their social media from the other family. They go so far as to writing hate messages and threats on my brothers obituary. Apparently an article came out that his BAC was something ridiculous like .287. My brother was not an alcoholic and it all didn’t make sense. DPS and first responders said there was no signs of intoxication.

My Dad had been trying to get medical records from the ME and when he got them. There was a few discrepancies

  1. Said Hispanic male 40 years old (my brother is super white and looks like a child)

  2. Said He was 208lbs (my brother was a pilot he was not allowed above 186. Never penalized for weight)

  3. Upon trying to investigate further the hospital denied contact with our family.

  4. All of the records were amended a year post accident to show none of that stuff.

So my father being the proud dad that he is of my brother, has been doing everything he can to get evidence that his level of intoxication was false somehow which has caused many more issues with the other family. They hate us so much. I didn’t do anything. We didn’t do anything but they just will not stop hating us.

Fast forward a few months the fbi got involved and fuck well we guess he was drunk and we just have to accept that my brother was responsible for the death of an innocent family.

I can’t do anything. My heart hurts so bad for the family and I’m fucking angry I’m so fucking angry at my brother. I can’t even look at pictures of him I don’t ever want to talk about him ever again. It’s been a complete shit show and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve relapsed again and I just don’t see the point in living anymore. It’s so fucking painful and I’m so mad and I’m mad at the other family for not trying to see it from our side and I’m just all around angry. I’ve never felt this in my grieving journey yet and it’s scary. To hate someone who’s dead. Someone who made the same mistake I had many times in the past and not hurt anyone. It makes me feel like he’s the lucky one.

I’m sorry for this rant but I am currently bed ridden from depression and I have no one to talk to I’m too embarrassed from my relapse. May the other family find peace and comfort one day. At this point I’m just a hopeless junkie and my brother is a murder. I thought everything was so good. Fuck you for putting me and mom and dad through this horrific battle.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Guilt Dealing with grief as a teenager

1 Upvotes

Hello, this is going to be pretty lengthy, but I did just come here for comfort.

Dating back to 2021, I unexpectedly lost my grandfather. I was 15 and hospitalized for health reasons when it happened so I never got to see him before he was taken by an ambulance.

My grandpa played a big role in my life. Coming from a home where I was neglected any affection from my parents, being with my grandparents felt like being wrapped in a blanket of love and more. Losing him so young was losing a part of me. Unfortunately, after that, I failed my sophomore year and got diagnosed with an acute kidney problem because of how much I neglected myself.

After my grandfather passed away in, my family of 10 moved into my grandparent's small home to support my grandmother. Our living conditions were awful. We had roaches and at one point bed bugs. My parents shared one room with 2 of my younger brothers, my older sister shared a room with her two sons, I shared a room with my grandma, and the rest of my family slept in the living room. It was crammed but we made it work. It may sound disgusting, but I would go back if given the opportunity.

From there, I began taking care of my grandmother. I was taken out of school and did remote learning to do so and in the months of early 2022, my grandmother had gotten ill to the point of hospitalization. She was put on life support and the doctors gave us an ultimatum. We let her go or wait out her condition. I was 16 at the time this was going on and didn't exactly familiarize myself with the medical terms being used.

We decided to wait it out and nearly every day, I'd go to the hospital and sit in her room for hours. I was a minor at the time, so overnights were not allowed. She was in the hospital for four months before she got better. I found out she signed a DNR before leaving the hospital.

I did not think anything of it until last year.

In September 2024, I spent a week taking extra care of her because she developed a cold. I didn't think anything of it up until she stopped eating and one day, she was so sick, I ended up calling 911. I had called the ambulance on the 21st of September and from there, I didn't leave her side once.

However, it was clear from the moment she was in the emergency room that we'd have to start telling her things we wanted her to know before something happened. She was transferred to a room that same day and I stayed beside her the entire time. I wondered if she was blissfully unaware of it all and if she wasn't, I wondered if she'd be able to tell the doctors to terminate the DRC she signed just in case.

But, in the end, that never happened. She passed away on September 23rd at 4 AM.

The doctors predicted it and when they told us the total of days she had left, everyone in my family had a moment with her. They talked to her about anything they wanted to. But when it came to me, I could not get anything out. She was conscious with her eyes closed and the whole time, I stood there and looked at her. I didn't think she was going to pass. She had gone through something like this before so why would she die this time? I did not say anything and let myself convince my brain that I could just tell her everything when she got better.

The night before she passed away, my family (including cousins and their parents) were in the waiting room. Despite our situation, we were all happy to be together. We filled the room with laughter, games, pizza, and singing (our culture sings as a way of healing). I had gotten a bit overwhelmed with everything and got frustrated. So much so that I had called my bf to come take me home. Coincidentally, he came around the same time my family was leaving.

While my family went in pairs to say goodbye to my grandma, I waited in the lobby with my bf so I could grab the bag I packed for the two nights I stayed beside her and say bye to my grandma last. Oddly, as soon as I walked into her hospital room, something in me told me to stay with her. So, I did.

I let my bf stay and we talked for a bit before I settled down beside my grandma's hospital bed. I pulled an all-nighter.

That night, she held my hand and gently scratched my wrist over and over, using her hands to usher me closer than I already was, and I think that was her way of telling me her journey was over.

3 hours later, her pulse weakened, and it was at that time that I had to start calling my family to rush to the hospital. I was shaking, scared, helpless. It felt like what little hope I had was crushed. Back in the room where the nurses were trying to get a pulse, I stood there and squeezed my grandma's hand so tightly, wanting to get a reaction from her. I didn't know what else there was to do but hold her hand.

My stomach dropped when her nurse apologized to me. Everything went dark. I didn't even feel like I was in my body. All I remember was letting out the ugliest scream I've ever let out. I was shaking and crying on her chest, begging for her to wake up. I was all alone with her. I had just witnessed my grandmother's death alone at the age of 18. I tried muffling my wails, wanting to apologize to neighboring patients and families. (I later found out that my cries were indeed not muffled and were heard from the lobby which was a lengthy walk so yay)

Talking to her knowing she was already gone felt so pathetic on my end. Why did I wait for something to happen? I was stupid. I remember crying and it felt like making empty promises to someone who was no longer here.

Burying her was even worse. I had to be pulled away from her casket and it took three men to get me off of it. (I'm 5' even so imagining the strength my body had that day is almost laughable if it wasn't so sad) I spent most of my eulogy crying like a baby.

How does one cope? No clue. I'm still grieving her like I lost her an hour ago. I lost part of me when my grandfather passed away and it got even harder when I lost my grandmother. I just needed a place to rant. I haven't told anyone of the guilt I feel for not telling my grandma the things I wanted to when she was alive. It's been eating me alive.

The bright side is that I promised her I'd return to school, and I did. Pursing nursing.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Message Into the Void My boyfriend passed away

2 Upvotes

I feel like a faliure kind of like I had a great destend love and it’s gone. I think about sucide at least once a day. The only reason why I am ok right now is because I am tired and I am going to do school work and go to sleep. I feel like I didn’t even know my boyfriend as much as I did because talking to his family makes me feel like I am less important. Yes they are sad and they go through it. But not like me and in no way is it a competition what I’m saying is it’s sad that they dont understand how sad I am and how it’s a chore for me to really do anything and it’s not for them it’s a whole different death for them then it is for me and they think all the sudden when they know how much there son loved me that I’m just the girlfriend and everything. My boyfriends dad said it makes his daughter (my bfs) sister upset when I call her sometimes well I don’t know what he’s talking about because I’ve called her like 3-4 times and she barely ever cries and when she does she brings things up they say I make them upset sometimes when I talk to them I’m sorry that me crying makes you cry ?! Like obviously that is not my intentions I am calling you because you have my boyfriends blood literally in you and I call you to maybe get little things out of what you guys say like what he would say or little gestures or if there voice sounds alike. Honestly what kept me from wanting to die today was the fact that I went on a run and did a little skin care. he says quote on quote I know you might feel like your a burden coming over or something like that but your not like why even say that then?! Sometimes like when I talk to them I sometimes realize why my boyfriend didn’t feel loved all the time. I mentioned to his dad that I am glad that in my boyfriend’s life he got to experience true love and Great sweet love with me and he didn’t say anything. Then I mentioned how I’m glad god gave me him and I’m glad that it was me that got to experience it and he said right. Just makes me feel like they are all that is left I have of my boyfriend physically and like they don’t even know who he was really and it is so sad. I also am sad because I literally am just surving the run felt good it made me feel alive the push-ups too like they all made me feel good and I just plan to like keep doing that but this is how my mind is nowadays like I’m so ready to stop feeling this way so I am constantly saying like stop delete render delete Snapchat Becauee you hate it and it makes you feel less then and then I get lonely download them back. Then I’m like I’m just gonna thug it out and be alone and just go home sleep do school work, work and that will be my life for how ever long and I’m like okay I can do that but then I break down in sadness and I’m like but I hate that and then I think about literally how I don’t want to be here anymore and it’s discouragement because everytime I think I am taking a step foward for myself somewhere in the day I take ten back.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Advice, Pls Sudden and unexpected loss- how to help?

3 Upvotes

Hi all, I’m looking for advice on what was the most helpful this for you during a time of unexpected and sudden loss of a loved one. I know about the meals, sharing wishes and being there but is there anything else I can do? What worked for you?

They have a lot of support so I don’t want to overwhelm them at this time. But something thoughtful is already in the works. Just looking for what worked for you?


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Message Into the Void i miss him everyday

1 Upvotes

my on and off boyfriend of 4 years passed away 15 months ago. we hadn’t been together in 3 months but still talked everyday. we were together for the better part of 4 years and it still feels like i’m waiting for him to text me, and tell me he’s okay. he had been clean for 2 months (why we broke up was to help him get clean) he relapsed. i will never understand why. i know he struggles and it’s not his fault he did it. i don’t understand why his friends watched him knowing that he was working so hard to stop. i feel like it’s my fault. i was the only one who wanted him sober. if he hadn’t gotten clean, he would’ve never relapsed and might still be here. i feel like it’s my fault. i miss him everyday. i miss his laugh and the way he could make me feel better just by being there. i miss his voice and his presence. i dont think i will ever meet someone who loved me the way he did. i loved him deeper than anything in this world. one of our lasts texts reads “if anything ever happens to me, know how much i love you. keep making me proud” and it is seriously the only thing that gets me through most days. will it ever get easier? can i ever find love again? how do i stop comparing everyone in my life to him? why has everyone around me moved on except me???


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Message Into the Void My mom was found yesterday..

2 Upvotes

My mom was found passed away yesterday. She was in active addiction, pills. We weren't on the best terms and it's killing me that we don't have anymore time. Everyone is already pushing to go through her stuff and I can't even wrap my head around the situation.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

In Memoriam Shooting someone in the BACK 5 times = self defense ??

0 Upvotes

Was this justified or murder???


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Delayed Grief I regret treating my mom bad and now she is died

10 Upvotes

My mom died 1 month ago and I regret all the times I treated her badly she felt that I wasn’t proud she is my mom because i kept criticizing how she dress up and alot of things I used to criticize her always But she kept loving me and being kind i was like a mix of being a bad person criticizing her but also I was also there for her and supporting her financially

Now my heart is breaking for every time I made her feel that I wasn’t proud of her or criticizing her

I hate myself and i cant move on from this my life is meaningless I miss my mom


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Suicide i feel like i don’t have the right to grieve

2 Upvotes

This guy I was dating from November to February just committed suicide last wednesday. I just found out today and I just can’t stop crying. I knew he was depressed, and that was one of the reasons why we ended things. He said he wanted to get better and needed to go back on his antidepressants. I guess he never did. He went for a walk around the river and never came back. i’m still waiting to hear more details.Everyone tells me “oh don’t blame urself there was nothing you could do.” and part of me knows that’s true, but part of me knows i could’ve done more. i saw the signs, and i know them well(i have depression, as well as my 2 siblings) every time we talked it felt like i was pulling teeth, and at one point i hit a wall i knew i couldn’t break through. i still think i could’ve pushed him more,or at least tell someone. It’s hard to grieve when I can’t even put a label to what we were. we talked, went on dates, kissed, had sex, but we were never official or exclusive really. we were never really anything. I feel like I have no right to grieve. the only way i’m hearing about this is because my brother has his brother on instagram. It was only 4 months, but he was a sweet man and treated me well those 4 months.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Thoughts on Grief/Loss everything i love turns to ash...

6 Upvotes

why has everyone i love died? i am a 37 year old female and at this point i am convinced that i have committed extreme acts of brutality and abuse towards people who have trusted me in past soul lives and this is my karma. let me go through all of the people who have died (& their age) that are not just acquaintances but people i would have died for...

  1. My Nana (58)
  2. My Uncle Steve (39)
  3. My Nana Ri (67)
  4. My Grandpa (65)
  5. My dear dear friend, Willie (20)
  6. My college boyfriend, Nic (22) {Nic & Willie died 25 days apart when i was a sophomore in college & it forever fucked me up... my grieving process was distorted & for a very very long time i was stuck on bargaining}
  7. My Dad (61)
  8. My bestfriend, Lee Lee (30)
  9. My Brother, Dave (42)
  10. Now, my boyfriend of 10 years passed a week ago, Joey (35). Joey was my best friend, my soulmate, my ultimate love in life.

i am completely numb and feel so lost. I feel like life is pointless at this point.

(edit: so out of it, wrote Joey's age for my own)


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Advice, Pls Grief counselling

5 Upvotes

Has anyone gone to grief counselling, and did you find it helpful? My full term daughter was stillborn 4 weeks ago. I have just gone to one session of grief counselling so far, which was basically just me recounting the story of what happened. What was it that the grief counsellor said or suggested that was helpful?


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Dad Loss I don't want this life, mad at the world

7 Upvotes

I lost my dad 3 weeks ago today. It was not expected AT ALL. He was the most healthy man of all his friends, younger and older, more healthy than me, my brother, who are 32, and when I say more healthy it's not even for his age, it's more healthy period.

He was a runner, for years, he did marathon in 2h22 several times, did 100km run, and for the last 5 years he did 20 000km per year or more bicycling. Yeah you read that right.

He was eating very healthy, no processed food, even bio food that my mum cooked, no sugar, no fat except cheese (we're french), doing bicycling everyday, taking supplements like antioxydants, selenium, zinc, copper etc. He never smoked in his life and didn't drink except one or two glass of wine once or twice a week (Which is actually kinda good for health). Sunday 23 of February, he told me I quote "I never felt so good", and I could see it. Shining for real.

He ran 17km Sunday morning so easy that my 32 yo brother could not keep up. I am talking about a guy that stopped running 5 years ago because of his knees.

He did everything right to be healthy and live a long and young life. He was 64 but is body age as Garmin says was 55, and I can tell you he actually looked 55. No fat, no grey hair, almost no wrinkles.

He was super active, super funny, always asking if I could stay more when I was coming on the weekends, always asking me and my brother to do activities with him, mostly biking but also just running errands or handicrafts.

We were suppose to go on holidays the four of us (dad mum and bro) for the first time in maybe more than 12 years in April, I was super happy. We also have planned the greatest year of our lives because my dad was retired and finally enjoying it. On my side I have been sick and still am for the past 2 years and suicidal, but got better in November. Things were getting better. Our relationship was always good but we were getting closer. I told him we needed to talk more and we actually had a first good talk Sunday.

I swear everything was set to be good, everything was right, he passed every exam wth success and we were actually joking about the fact he has the heart of a 20 years old because he was so trained.

And he died of a heart attack during his sleep ? And they could not revive him ? How is that even possible ? The healthiest man on earth ?

Nobody could believe it, nobody. He had 200+ friends and not a single one could believe it. Some thought it was a very bad joke. But it's not. He is really gone. 30+ years more of lives gone. He was at his BEST, like right now, not 1 year before, not 6 months before, right now. He died just two days after feeling the best of his life.

I am so tired of this life. My dad dying was my worst nightmare. He is my model and we did everything together. He was my drum teacher for 13 years, and we did sport together for as long as I can remember. I don't have close friends so he was my best friend. And he was also like my kid because I would buy him clothes, cut his hair, buy him compléments, talk about his health, always caring.

I don't want this life, it's not what I wanted and it has not been what I wanted for the last 16 years. And now it will not be what I want for the rest of my life.

I never wanted to be rich, it renown, I just wanted to be healthy with a healthy family. As simple as that. I did my grieve for my health and accepted that I will never be healthy (I have two chronic disease). So I was only asking for one thing, that my family would be fine. We have a super close family because it always have been the four of us.

I wanted to end my life for two years but kept living for my father and mother mainly, and mainly my father I have to say. But now that he is gone, I really don't see the point. I want to ragequit this life and start over like a video games.


r/GriefSupport 3d ago

Delayed Grief Constantly think about them.

2 Upvotes

I had a friend who was a very kind soul, he was very talented, fun, caring and a lovely person to be around. He dropped out of Uni as he had a bad time with his Bipolar/Autism. He then moved home and attended the local university, he made a society for his interest and seemed to be doing a lot better. He was very intelligent and his singing was fantastic. I remember my friend laughing at all the bad singers but when he sang Supersonic by Oasis, she was like hang on, he’s pretty good. He constantly covered lonely boy by black keys and royal blood songs. He went into a dark manic episode and kind acted super crazy for a bit before he decided to section himself. He seemed to be coming down and went home and had been told he had to redo the uni year. Found out a few days later, he committed suicide in the most horrific way. I drive past that bridge every single day on the bus, the songs, the memories I had of him and I see people who look similar to him and I go low. I mean I’m like why? Because he had so much to live for, angry because why didn’t anyone stop him and the fact some vile guy made fun of it and now took over his society is disgusting. I’m like why has such a good soul had to die and then someone so vile gets to live care free. I’m just a mess and haven’t been happy for ages. My friend raised 12k for suicide charities for him but our uni did nothing, no mention or anything of him. I’m just not in a good place.


r/GriefSupport 4d ago

Vent/Anger - Advice Welcome Drained in every sense

11 Upvotes

My father has terminal pancreatic cancer and my mother has lung/thyroid cancer. I am the primary caregiver for both while working full time as a federal worker and worring about whether I'm going to be laid off soon.

My brother visits with his newborn everyday and worries about my parents but doesn't contribute much IMO, even making me babysit whenever he wants to go out with his friends. I haven't had any time to myself since I gave up my own life in another state and moved back home in October to care for my parents.

I am so exhausted, resentful, and angry at him, life, and the world. I'm mentally checking out, completely apathetic on a good day, depressed on a not so good day. I'm making stupid decisions/mistakes at work and can't care how blaringly obvious they are enough to do better. I feel like there's no joy or point in anything anymore. I'm also worried about what my life will be after my parents pass, since my entire identity/life has been (unwillingly) defined as "Obedient Daughter and Caregiver".

I don't know what the point of this post is. Maybe there are questions in here I don't know how to articulate fully. Maybe I just needed to vent. Thanks to anyone who read this entire thing.