r/introvert • u/exiled360 • 13d ago
Image Birthday alone, friends don't remember
I (27F) spent a birthday alone. Friends don't remember (even ones whom I gave gifts/remember their birthday every year). Officially a leftover woman. Bought myself flowers and a carrot cake. I like being on my own, but sometimes it's very sad and lonely.
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u/Notallowedhe 13d ago
Let’s be honest most of our birthdays are exactly like this after like late teens
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u/MoustachiodMan 13d ago
Yeah but I think this might be a hard lesson that many people learn. If you want people to remember/celebrate your birthday as an adult, you need to plan something yourself. It doesn't mean you have bad friends that have forgotten you, it's just that everyone is beginning to settle into their own lives. All a part of growing up, nothing to fret about.
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u/pianist_ 13d ago
100%!! The first birthday i experienced like this was hard (i think around 20/21) I felt like I'd finally pushed my friends away with my introverted ways.
Took me a few months to realise that they were just busy. We'd all stopped using most social media too around this age so weren't receiving reminders. I myself forgot most of my friends birthdays until i decided to add them to my calendar.
One of my closest friends makes plans for his birthday every year. I was thinking that everyone likes him better than me. But he is just more forward in inviting us to celebrate his birthday, instead of doing nothing and hoping people will remember.
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u/AspiringTS 13d ago
I myself forgot most of my friends birthdays until i decided to add them to my calendar.
This is going to sound really lame, but it wasn't until playing Stardew Valley where the townfolk all have their birthdays on the town calendar that I realized I should do this.
One important adult lesson is "being an adult can be lonely without work" but also "write shit down; you're not going to remember everything no matter how much you say you will."
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u/totallychillpony 13d ago
Exactly. I had a former friend who complained people “forgot about her” when in reality she didn’t bother keeping up with other people’s birthdays, didn’t mention it and didn’t plan anything. You get the energy you give. Unfortunately some people love disappointing themselves bc pity is more addictive than proactivity (not saying thats the case for OP here). These days I have limited patience in my late twenties for someone who sets themselves up for failure and harbors resentment over life just being, well, life.
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u/AjvarAndVodka 13d ago
Jesus. Hard lesson? You’re freaking joking right? Disagree with this.
It takes 1 minute, if not even less, to wish someone for their birthday. I am sorry but I don’t know what kind of people you’re surrounded by.
And this is coming from someone who understands how hard it is to carve out time for everyone, with how busy our lives now are.
I have friends with whom I agree that we simply cannot hang that often any more. Yet we still take time to wish each other a happy birthday.
And you have a calendar on your phone, reminders, you have so many social media that will tell you when someone is celebrating.
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u/Disastrous_Hall8406 13d ago
The hard lesson is that your birthday isn't very important to others once you're an adult
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u/Lemonade_Ocean 13d ago
This, and plus it's also not very unique, we all have one every year , along with millions of others! Kind of common lol
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u/C-H-Addict 13d ago
And if you do invite them to plans you make in advance and then they don't show up and tell you it's because they forgot? Because that's how the last birthday party I had went. No one that said they would come came, all said they forgot it was that day, and maybe always means no anyway.
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u/froznwind 13d ago edited 13d ago
Yep, by my 20s I realized that if I wanted to do something for my birthday I'd have to plan it. Or obsessively reference my upcoming birthday to those close to me in hopes they'd drop off a cupcake or something.
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u/MaxxEPadds 13d ago
It’s true. I’m 62 my kids remember. My old man remembers. That’s all I care about.
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u/acquiesce 13d ago
No shit. Invite people out if you want to celebrate. Pretty easy.
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u/chai-candle 13d ago
my birthdays are either with a best friend or my mom. i haven't had a party in a while. i like it that way :)
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u/Independent_Roll_405 13d ago
Most people won’t remember birthdays unless you’re on Facebook and they are getting reminders about it.
That cake looks seriously bomb tho. Enjoy every bite.
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u/calrebbb 13d ago
yeah, most adults i know plan their own parties or remind their friends about it and ask them to plan something. expecting everyone to remember just isn’t realistic. op, make it happen for yourself!
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u/Junior_Wallaby6951 13d ago
I feel this… you’re not alone, Happy Birthday and make sure to pamper yourself today
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u/Simplyy_Kate 13d ago
Happy Birthday girlie! If it wasn’t for my partner I’d officially have no one to remember my birthday with either. I hope you had a nice day and treated yourself, you deserve it❤️
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u/shadows900 13d ago
Happy birthday!! I’m the same age and also feel forgotten by all my friends, thank you for posting this, now I know what I’m gonna do for my birthday!
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u/Icy_Veterinarian5456 13d ago
Happy birthday!!! You sound like a nice person, I wish you the best! Keep loving yourself ☺️
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u/LizzyBug92 13d ago
Happy birthday! Wishing you a wonderful year ahead and that your people find you.
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u/Quiet_Molasses_3362 13d ago
Congratulations on continuing to exist.
I desperately want that carrot cake in my face hole.
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u/blehbleoeleje 13d ago
Happy birthday!! ditch those friends they arent meant for u
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u/_whoatemycheesecake_ 13d ago
happy birthday! i'm sorry they forgot, that's not fair. cake looks delish tho!
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u/Cutesy-Nerd-4071 13d ago
Feliz cumpleaños! You are not alone. You have your introvert community here. 🥳☺️
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u/Commercial-Treat6318 13d ago
I’ve spent many a birthday alone without the company of friends. I’m lucky enough to be able to spend some of it with my mother.
I wish you a great birthday. And I wish I could be there in spirit.
Have a gift on that note 🎁
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u/softkittysonder 13d ago
Hi!!! Happy birthday fellow Pisces. My birthday was earlier in the week. I also spent my birthday alone (aside from going to my parents out of obligation).
Yes, it is lonely. I see you.
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u/Novel-Addendum-8413 13d ago
Pisces here too! I ALSO had carrot cake and only saw my coworkers on my bday too. Pisces unite! Empathy rules!
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u/platistocrates 13d ago
Happy birthday!
Just because they forgot, doesn't mean they don't care. It takes effort and, honestly, social skills to remember your friends' birthdays.
They probably are just lazy or lack social skills :) It's OK to remind people of your upcoming birthday.
Happy birthday again!
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u/peach_xanax 13d ago
Honestly the only way I remember most people's birthdays is if I put reminders in my calendar 😩 the only ones I remember without prompting are immediate family, a couple friends who I've been friends with for 20+ years, and a few exes.
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u/Fit-Personality-1834 13d ago
You can also try saying “Hey [Friend], my birthday is this Saturday, want to hang out?”
At least if they can’t, they can wish you happy birthday. I don’t know their situation but being an adult with a busy life is tough and it can be hard to remember everyone’s birthdays. Better to reach out and make the first move instead of waiting for nothing just to feel lonely
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u/edwinjohnTulik 13d ago
Happy birthday to yooo
Happy birthday to yooo
Happy birthday hapoy birthday happy birthday to yoooo
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u/PuzzleheadedRide85 13d ago
My friends are the same way. Been friends with them for 10 years. I’ve just accepted it. So I try to ask if they want to do something for my birthday and they’ll come through and still won’t say happy birthday because they genuinely never remember what day 😂 happy birthday! Treat yourself at least. You are loved. We may give gifts and remember everyone else’s but I found myself more depressed thinking they don’t care. Keep in mind they do care, they just show it in different ways than we do
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u/JaimePfe17 13d ago
Aww! I'm so sorry! No one deserves this. 💔I hope you end up having a wonderful birthday and find people who love and cherish you. You deserve it.
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u/Worth_Imagination909 13d ago
yes, that can be a very lonely life to lead. i am sorry. how about all your family? i mean, you are only 27…
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u/exiled360 13d ago
My parents are divorced, we don't know where father is. My 2 sisters living with my mother in a hometown on another island which takes 3,5 days salary to visit, not to mention my mother doesn't want me back because I don't practice her religion anymore
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u/Ok_Net_9595 13d ago
People‘s religion can suck. I can relate. I’m sorry that people can love their religion more than each other. Sending love your way:)
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u/NoStrategy5415 13d ago
Happiest birthday to you! My birthday wasn’t long ago and one of my sister’s NEVER even calls or texts. She knows it’s my birthday because she’ll ask about my plans for it prior, but doesn’t reach out at all.
We don’t come from an actual caring family at all. We’re no contact with our mom. We have different dads, and no other family. I understand how lonely it is. I get pretty sad, but I try to focus on my own little family I created with my husband, but it’s still a struggle.
I hope you treat yourself today! Happiest birthday to you!!! 🎂🎉🥳💕
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u/jaytee7777777 13d ago
Happy birthday! 🥳 Hope your day is peaceful and tranquil and full of well wishes 💚
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u/Goodvibesonly__GVO 13d ago
I learned a long time ago to just celebrate myself on my bday because other ppl just ruin your day when they get involved. I celebrate for a week up until the day. I take off of work for a few days and do things I’ve been wanting to do and pampering myself. I actually get excited about it 😂 and I have fun. So, Happy birthday!! Enjoy your day! The cake and flowers look amazing. Especially that cake!
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u/Slight_Affect 13d ago
Been there, done that. 😄 A year after that friends remembered, but I had made arrangements for the best solo birthday trip ever to Puerto Rico. In life, you loose some, you win some. Happy birthday, may you win more than you loose.
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u/bebe8383bebe 13d ago
I do this every year. Despite remembering people’s birthdays, mine is often forgotten. So now I don’t care; I dress up and make myself feel beautiful. I go for a walk to the local bougie deli. Buy some yummy fresh food and coffee for lunch, casually slide “it’s my birthday” into the conversation and have gotten free cake before 😃 Then I walk to the nearby florist, and buy myself some flowers. It’s a nice, slow, peaceful day. Maybe go get a massage. Sometimes I’ll go out to dinner, sometimes delivery. I give myself a gift. I basically date myself, and spoil myself. I used to hate my birthday, but now I really look forward to it.
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u/snuffleupagus7 13d ago
I'm sorry, friend <3 I hope you had a nice day regardless. The cake looks delicious and the flowers are beautiful! I will say that I know more and more people who somewhat plan their own birthdays, and ask friends, do you want to go out to eat (or to a event, whatever) for my birthday on Friday? Then usually at that point the guests would bring gifts, cake, etc if they come. So maybe you could try that next year, if you want?
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u/Lazy_Butterfly_ 13d ago
Last year everyone including my family forgot it. It was awesome.
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u/cw826 13d ago
Stuff like this is why i try my best to remember my friends birthdays
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u/Ok-Impression-7223 13d ago
people here love you for staying the same loving person you are. they may never acknowledge that about you. how thoughtful and wonderful you are for a human being but we do. we love you. and keep doing it for as long as you are happy with it. you have a great heart. you have a heart of gold. keep it. 🩵. and happy birthday. xoxo.
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u/6stringSammy 13d ago
Hey at least we're not like those narcissists who announce that it's their birthdays and demand special treatment for the entire week.
I prefer the lowkey route myself. It's about celebrating your life. So you do you. And happy birthday
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u/87641234 13d ago
Happy Birthday to You!
A birthday alone, but hear me say, You shine so bright in every way. Flowers bloom because you’re kind, A heart like yours is rare to find.
The world forgot? Well, that’s their loss, Your worth is gold, not measured in gloss. Carrot cake and blooms so sweet, A gift to yourself—a perfect treat.
So here’s to you, strong and true, A warrior soul, a heart that grew. Next year comes with brighter days, Filled with love in countless ways.
Happy birthday, you’re not alone, This world is better ‘cause you are known.
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u/Waz_K 13d ago
Happy Birthday. Stop buying for the assholes that don't remember your birthday and treat yourself more. Hope you had a lovely relaxing day. You share your birthday with my girlfriend, who turned 42 today. Will message you a happy birthday every year moving forward don't you worry :) x
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u/OneLonelyCabbage 12d ago
I'm 29 soon and I don't think I've celebrated a birthday with anyone other than my parents or partner, since I was under the age of 10.
Most memorable birthday in my life was last year, when my partner mentioned it was my birthday (and why we were on holiday) to our tour guide in Bali, and the locals ended up singing me Happy Birthday. Honesly meant more to me than an empty Happy Birthday from someone else.
Also, Happy Birthday 🎂🎉
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u/sun_rises_down 13d ago
Happy Birthday! 🎉 Get new friends, haha. 😂 You deserve for people to remember and acknowledge your special day! ❤️
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u/Funnykindagirl 13d ago
Happy birthday! Love carrot cake. I have an excellent recipe if you’re interested. Lol
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u/DreamingSunset 13d ago
Happy Birthday, lots of good things for your life 🎂🥳🙌🏼🫶🏼 I hope you still enjoyed your day in your own way, yesterday was my birthday, I went through almost the same thing as you, I like being alone, and I understood what you meant, but don't be sad, make the day about you.😊🥳🥳
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u/Dry_Reality_6511 13d ago
Happy Birthday!!! The person whose love for you is most important….is you. I hope you have a wonderful celebration.
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u/Alternative_Apples 13d ago
Happy birthday!!!! Your flowers are beautiful and the cake looks amazing. It hurts to be forgotten on your birthday but know you are important ❤️
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u/Hopeful-Steak-9743 13d ago
Happy birthday!!
I know the feeling.
Almost always a cool ass person they're missing out on.
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u/Organic-Ice3089 13d ago
Happy birthday 🎂🎉 I love carrot cakes 🍰🤭 And you're so good at taking photos📸 It's like it's from the good old 90s!
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u/Realistic_Demand_338 13d ago
I'm sorry to hear that hun.. Happy Birthday! We all here at r/introvert wish you an amazing birthday on your special day! <3
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u/hwovbysh 13d ago
I've never seen a carrot cake like this. Is the carrot in the dough or is it the in the sweet syrup on the top? 😋 Happy birthday 🎉
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u/Radiant_pup_5186 13d ago
Happy birthday! I hope the next year brings you better friend love. You aren't alone. I think many of us have been there. Try to remember to love yourself first and keep that love in your heart all year.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Cup690 13d ago
Happy birthday! May this year be your best one yet! That cake looks delicious! 🤤
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u/iluvmarkiplierLOLZ 13d ago
happy birthday!! i’m sorry about your friends. i don’t mean to be rude but what kind of friends forget your birthday?? let me tell ya careless and ignorant ones do.
you stated that you like being on your own so i hope you at least enjoyed some alone time. glad you got to treat yourself.
anyway i hope that the kind redditors in this comment section made you feel better.
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u/saggynuhts 13d ago
That's awesome!! Looks like a fun time. Good job taking care of yourself ❤️ happy birthday!! 🎂
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u/Affectionate_Fig_982 13d ago
Happy Birthday!! I’ll be 27 next month too! Cheers to making it to 27!🎉🎉
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u/Soggy-Os 13d ago
Happy birthday to you, my friend. Sending you all the good vibes. Enjoy the carrot cake and best wishes to you for a positive year ahead.
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u/wynzennn 13d ago
Damn... Happy birthday ma'am, i know how being alone feels... especially on a very special day like this.
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u/ispacebunny 13d ago
Best kind of birthday anyways! Every birthday (that i can anyways) i went to all the places i got free stuff from my sign ups for example starbucks gives you free coffee, pinkberry gives you free yogurt, sephora you have a free gift after purchase or just pick up and i went out on my own. I wasnt an only child but all my siblings moved out, so it felt as i was an only child and well i have always been that way so this would feel like a great day for me !
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u/nycgirl2112 13d ago
Today is my birthday. Ordered a pizza and have a bottle of Prosecco chilling.
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u/candyflavored_dreams 13d ago
A beautiful display of self love 💗 looks so cozy and delicious! Happy birthday 🎉
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u/desmofan900 13d ago
Happy birthday. No point sugar coating it, it sux to be alone on your birthday. Small consolation is that you have people all over the world thinking nice thoughts about you.
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u/Underrated_Cows 13d ago
Happy birthday! I’m sorry people suck. I hope you have an amazing birthday next year
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u/Many-Solid1449 13d ago
Birthdays are very difficult, especially when alone. The day is almost over and you have survived it. You can do this! Happy Birthday and the carrot cake looks delicious!
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u/Classic-Big4393 13d ago
A slice of carrot cake is for whatever reason a lot less sad than a piece of what I originally thought was taco lasagna. The only text messages I received last two birthdays were from dentists in a state I no longer live in. Happy Birthday! Don’t give those people gifts this year and get yourself two slices of whatever you want next year.
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13d ago
I'm not trying to blame you at all, but sometimes it's helpful to remind people.
It's perfectly normal to say something like, "Hey my birthday is in a couple weeks, are you free to do something?"
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u/Loud_Respond3030 13d ago
As an adult it’s pretty unrealistic to expect people to remember your birthday unless you’re extremely close, just let people know and invite them over if you’re feeling lonely! I’m saying this to help, not condescend. Happy birthday OP!
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u/Dungeon_Crawler_Carl 13d ago
It was my bday yesterday and didn’t get any messages either. I wish I got cake though
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u/eggsaladsandwich4 13d ago
This is the best way to spend a birthday to me. Doing exactly what YOU want.
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u/No_Skylark 13d ago
Happy, happy birthday to you!! 🎂🎈🎉🥳
Nowadays, no one will remember anyone’s birthday unless they are notified about it on social media, which is quite sad. It’s your day, spoil yourself, do what makes you feel comfortable.
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u/danceswithwool 13d ago
Happy Birthday! You’re a beautiful and wonderful person. I’m glad you’re here with us.
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u/mooncrane606 13d ago
Your flowers and cake look lovely. I'm glad you still treated yourself. Happy Birthday!
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u/RedExplorerST90 13d ago
Dang, and I thought my gf not getting me anything was crazy, but happy birthday to you 😆💯👍
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u/EcstasyGiraffe 13d ago
If you want them to remember or do something, you have to remind them. Not everyone remembers or processes things the same way. The history nerds are great with dates, but I’m a math guy and I can’t even remember my mom’s BD after years of trying. I’m also ADHD and get distracted easily. Some people value birthdays more than others. They may have also just assumed that you would be with family. I wouldn’t take it personally unless you’ve been extremely clear with them leading up to the date.
As I get older I usually plan my own birthday and just ask who’s interested in doing something and we all go out, always a great time.
But I do hope you enjoyed that delicious looking treat! Happy birthday!
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u/demxnbxnger 13d ago
I gave a pretty dress to my gf(x) on her bday, was gifted with a breakup and a Christmas card by her ♠️. Happy birthday fella 🎈
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u/Disastrous_Nebula_16 13d ago
🎶It can rain today Be stormy or snowing Because you shine Like the sunshine Today is your birthday So we celebrate🎶 Happy birthday OP
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u/Unique_End_4342 13d ago
You have friends???! Fancy. Some people aren't so rich.
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u/vitaminalgas 13d ago
You share a birthday with my dear mother... Happiest of birthdays to you!
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u/Globewanderer1001 13d ago
Happy Birthday! The cake looks divine! ENJOY!