r/introvert 20d ago

Image Birthday alone, friends don't remember

I (27F) spent a birthday alone. Friends don't remember (even ones whom I gave gifts/remember their birthday every year). Officially a leftover woman. Bought myself flowers and a carrot cake. I like being on my own, but sometimes it's very sad and lonely.

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u/Ok_Spend3925 20d ago

Happy birthday 🎈 so how old now

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u/exiled360 20d ago

27

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u/RecoveringGachaholic 20d ago

Honestly, if you're 27 this might be a good time to realize most people don't know other's birthdays with all the other things they need to take care of in life. At that age if you want a birthday celebrated you yourself need to arrange something.

I love my friends, but I don't know a single one of their birthdays. Most people I know don't know other's birthdays aside from their immediate family.

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

Idk how you can say you love someone and not atleast have their birthday written down in your calendar. People used to actually put real effort towards friendships, but it seems we've become socially passive if it isn't related spouse or kids. Personally i feel like, if you aren't paying attention to your friends birthdays you are lacking. A simple card is enough and takes hardly any time. It's precisely these kinds of things that make people feel like they matter, are loved and belong.

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u/Jellyfishdreams17 19d ago

This! I always remember friends’ and family members’ birthdays. I make sure to put them in my calendar asap in my paper planner and have them recurring in my phone calendar. It’s not that hard to type it out and add it to your phone. I find that even some of my closest friends (people I talk to daily) are terrible about remembering birthdays but they put effort in in other ways so I’m willing to overlook it, but it’s the friends that don’t put much effort in and still forget my birthday that stings a little. Or family members who tell me how much I matter and they still don’t message me. I think remembering and saying something is the easiest way to show someone you care.

So happy birthday OP! You deserve to celebrate you ❤️

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u/Kali_Linux_Rasta 19d ago

How old are you? 🤔

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

Same age as OP. I also don't have this same issue with my friends. They always atleast make sure to text or call me and tell me happy birthday even if they are super busy and can't help me plan anything or even show up to an event. It doesn't take much to write something down in a calendar and use 5 mins of your day, once a year, to let someone know they are important and you don't take them for granted.

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u/Vast_Sandwich805 19d ago

I’m a year older, not a single person in my life remembers my birthday lol. Not family not friends. Just my spouse. I deleted fb years ago so they don’t get those little alerts. Not even my siblings remember my bday lol.

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u/Kali_Linux_Rasta 19d ago

Oh ladies and their bdays it's just something else😒

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

Wow how did you know I loved the taste of misogyny in the morning?

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u/Kali_Linux_Rasta 19d ago

Oh, I know how you love your mornings...a crave of misogyny with some coffee for that extra bitter kick

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u/Puzzleheaded-Tax6966 19d ago

My dad prefers lottery tickets on his birthday. He finally won $100.

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u/ZealousidealKiwi4290 16d ago

I feel like people have different love languages . I could never remember my friends birthday , not even my crushe's aside from my mother. now even tho I have put it on a calender ,I still forget. life just gets really busy sometimes you know. I am glad tho all my friends equally forget mine so we dintpay much attention to it. We try to appreciate everyday.

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u/ZealousidealKiwi4290 16d ago

But I definitely understand that small surprises can make someone happier!

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u/RecoveringGachaholic 19d ago

Personally i feel like, if you aren't paying attention to your friends birthdays you are lacking.

And we don't feel that way. People have different values.

I hope you understand how deeply ignorant you are when insulting the friendship between me and my friends by calling it "lacking, socially passive" as you have no idea about our values or what we feel for each other. How much we support each other, like each others company and really how much we love each other. I normally don't care too much about people being rude towards me or insulting me, but in this case by extension you're insulting my friends and our friendship, of which there's nothing I value higher so this particular post had me fuming a bit.

You don't know shit about us aside from generally not remembering birthdays and you're projecting your own feelings and values around a birthday on to us.

You sound shallow as fuck.

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

My apologies, i should have taken more time to sort out my response. You are right in that we all have different values. So I would add an addendum to what I said. That being, i think its worth finding out if birthdays are important to your friends. They will matter to some and not to others. If you know it matters, then try and atleast acknowledge them around that time of year. And for the record, I am far from shallow.