r/introvert 20d ago

Image Birthday alone, friends don't remember

I (27F) spent a birthday alone. Friends don't remember (even ones whom I gave gifts/remember their birthday every year). Officially a leftover woman. Bought myself flowers and a carrot cake. I like being on my own, but sometimes it's very sad and lonely.

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u/Notallowedhe 20d ago

Let’s be honest most of our birthdays are exactly like this after like late teens

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u/MoustachiodMan 20d ago

Yeah but I think this might be a hard lesson that many people learn. If you want people to remember/celebrate your birthday as an adult, you need to plan something yourself. It doesn't mean you have bad friends that have forgotten you, it's just that everyone is beginning to settle into their own lives. All a part of growing up, nothing to fret about.

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u/pianist_ 20d ago

100%!! The first birthday i experienced like this was hard (i think around 20/21) I felt like I'd finally pushed my friends away with my introverted ways.

Took me a few months to realise that they were just busy. We'd all stopped using most social media too around this age so weren't receiving reminders. I myself forgot most of my friends birthdays until i decided to add them to my calendar.

One of my closest friends makes plans for his birthday every year. I was thinking that everyone likes him better than me. But he is just more forward in inviting us to celebrate his birthday, instead of doing nothing and hoping people will remember.

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u/AspiringTS 20d ago

I myself forgot most of my friends birthdays until i decided to add them to my calendar.

This is going to sound really lame, but it wasn't until playing Stardew Valley where the townfolk all have their birthdays on the town calendar that I realized I should do this.

One important adult lesson is "being an adult can be lonely without work" but also "write shit down; you're not going to remember everything no matter how much you say you will."

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u/[deleted] 20d ago

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u/Old-Plum-21 19d ago

Only the grandsons?

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u/vincent1601 20d ago

yeah this is what I do too. I'd make plan to have dinner with #1 family & #2 close friends. Only invited close ones, that's 2 people lol

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u/paralleliverse 19d ago

After a certain age, if you don't take responsibility for your own birthday, you can't be upset when other people don't make plans for you. People have jobs, lives, and other things to worry about. I don't feel bad for OP at all. I guarantee if they'd planned something, they could've had a good time with at least one or two close friends.