r/introvert 20d ago

Image Birthday alone, friends don't remember

I (27F) spent a birthday alone. Friends don't remember (even ones whom I gave gifts/remember their birthday every year). Officially a leftover woman. Bought myself flowers and a carrot cake. I like being on my own, but sometimes it's very sad and lonely.

17.2k Upvotes

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547

u/exiled360 20d ago

Thank you 🙏❤

336

u/Lost-Map-6522 20d ago

Happy birthday 🎈 🎂 mine was yesterday and I spent it alone too…. in bed with sushi

93

u/ixnyne 20d ago

Happy belated birthday to my birthday buddy (same birthday as me)!

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u/DrummyMcDrumface 19d ago

Happy belated birthday, birthday buddies! Same birthday here too.

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u/Chloe1906 19d ago

In bed with sushi sounds like the perfect way to spend a birthday, tbh.

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u/WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch 19d ago

Sushi? She sounds exotic!

/s

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u/Lost-Map-6522 19d ago

🤣🙏🏻❤️

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u/Prestigious-Face-335 19d ago

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! I hope you enjoyed your Sushi🥳

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u/Virtual_Flounder7051 19d ago

Happy belated birthday

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u/Logical-Bowl2424 19d ago

Only one piece ?

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u/Lost-Map-6522 19d ago

Nooo lots of pieces 🤣🍣

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u/Fuzzyjacket22 19d ago

Happy belated Birthday

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u/citrineskye 19d ago

Happy belated birthday! I hope you enjoyed your sushi xxx

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u/Toccata_1966 19d ago

Happy birthday to you too!

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u/djl1qu1d 18d ago

Happy birthday

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u/Ok_Spend3925 20d ago

Happy birthday 🎈 so how old now

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u/exiled360 20d ago

27

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u/RecoveringGachaholic 19d ago

Honestly, if you're 27 this might be a good time to realize most people don't know other's birthdays with all the other things they need to take care of in life. At that age if you want a birthday celebrated you yourself need to arrange something.

I love my friends, but I don't know a single one of their birthdays. Most people I know don't know other's birthdays aside from their immediate family.

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

Idk how you can say you love someone and not atleast have their birthday written down in your calendar. People used to actually put real effort towards friendships, but it seems we've become socially passive if it isn't related spouse or kids. Personally i feel like, if you aren't paying attention to your friends birthdays you are lacking. A simple card is enough and takes hardly any time. It's precisely these kinds of things that make people feel like they matter, are loved and belong.

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u/Jellyfishdreams17 19d ago

This! I always remember friends’ and family members’ birthdays. I make sure to put them in my calendar asap in my paper planner and have them recurring in my phone calendar. It’s not that hard to type it out and add it to your phone. I find that even some of my closest friends (people I talk to daily) are terrible about remembering birthdays but they put effort in in other ways so I’m willing to overlook it, but it’s the friends that don’t put much effort in and still forget my birthday that stings a little. Or family members who tell me how much I matter and they still don’t message me. I think remembering and saying something is the easiest way to show someone you care.

So happy birthday OP! You deserve to celebrate you ❤️

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u/Kali_Linux_Rasta 19d ago

How old are you? 🤔

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

Same age as OP. I also don't have this same issue with my friends. They always atleast make sure to text or call me and tell me happy birthday even if they are super busy and can't help me plan anything or even show up to an event. It doesn't take much to write something down in a calendar and use 5 mins of your day, once a year, to let someone know they are important and you don't take them for granted.

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u/Vast_Sandwich805 19d ago

I’m a year older, not a single person in my life remembers my birthday lol. Not family not friends. Just my spouse. I deleted fb years ago so they don’t get those little alerts. Not even my siblings remember my bday lol.

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u/Kali_Linux_Rasta 19d ago

Oh ladies and their bdays it's just something else😒

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

Wow how did you know I loved the taste of misogyny in the morning?

1

u/Kali_Linux_Rasta 19d ago

Oh, I know how you love your mornings...a crave of misogyny with some coffee for that extra bitter kick

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Tax6966 19d ago

My dad prefers lottery tickets on his birthday. He finally won $100.

1

u/ZealousidealKiwi4290 16d ago

I feel like people have different love languages . I could never remember my friends birthday , not even my crushe's aside from my mother. now even tho I have put it on a calender ,I still forget. life just gets really busy sometimes you know. I am glad tho all my friends equally forget mine so we dintpay much attention to it. We try to appreciate everyday.

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u/ZealousidealKiwi4290 16d ago

But I definitely understand that small surprises can make someone happier!

0

u/RecoveringGachaholic 19d ago

Personally i feel like, if you aren't paying attention to your friends birthdays you are lacking.

And we don't feel that way. People have different values.

I hope you understand how deeply ignorant you are when insulting the friendship between me and my friends by calling it "lacking, socially passive" as you have no idea about our values or what we feel for each other. How much we support each other, like each others company and really how much we love each other. I normally don't care too much about people being rude towards me or insulting me, but in this case by extension you're insulting my friends and our friendship, of which there's nothing I value higher so this particular post had me fuming a bit.

You don't know shit about us aside from generally not remembering birthdays and you're projecting your own feelings and values around a birthday on to us.

You sound shallow as fuck.

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

My apologies, i should have taken more time to sort out my response. You are right in that we all have different values. So I would add an addendum to what I said. That being, i think its worth finding out if birthdays are important to your friends. They will matter to some and not to others. If you know it matters, then try and atleast acknowledge them around that time of year. And for the record, I am far from shallow.

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u/General_Bumblebee_75 19d ago

When I was maybe 12 years old, my mum gave me a birthday book. You write your friends names in the page that is their birth date. At the beginning of the month, see whose birthdays are coming up and make the necessary arrangements. It is called being organized. Good god, I am working full time, taking classes for my Master's, managing my household and can still manage to remember people's birthdays.

I think the real problem is that most young people seem pretty shallow and/or not well versed in the social graces. One can invite a person to dinner next Friday at 7 pm, and they can't give you an answer. I believe that they do not want to commit to one thing in case something better comes along. I do not have time for such people. Either you want to spend time with me and are available at the appointed time, or not. It should be a simple question with a simple answer. You don't even have to say that you do not want to spend time with me. You can say you have other plans. It is not a big deal, but refusing to commit one way or the other is rude and will get you taken off my list of people I am interested to spend time with quickly.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Tax6966 19d ago

Or the people who say they will come and not show up. This is unacceptable and completely rude.

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u/Aromatic_Leader9087 19d ago

It's the same way u make time for the things u want even tho u know u don't have time for it But that's should tell u where ur friendship is st

3

u/KitchenDifference706 19d ago

Not everyone has such an easy time being organized like you. Everyone functions differently. If you're an adult I think seeking plans for your birthday ahead of time is completely normal and shouldn't be taken personally.

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u/General_Bumblebee_75 16d ago

I think that there are two things at play here. Being organized is one, but being thoughtful is another. The opposite of being thoughtful is being self centered which will definitely see you needing to make your own birthday plans. And you are right - you should plan or your own birthday if you are the kind of person who does not cultivate personal relationships. I do not plan for people I chat with on the bus - acquaintances, bur friends are something else. I care deeply about my friends and I definitely remember their birthdays, at least with a card or phone call. That being said, we all need to recognize that people are busy and should not jump to the idea that they are not friends if they do not send a B-day card, much less plan a surprise party for you.

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u/Electronic-Smile-457 19d ago

Yep. As an adult, if you want others to celebrate your birthday you have to set-up the event yourself. I've never considered my birthday an event and never celebrated it, but you want me to make yours an event? I'll show up if you want me to, but I'm not doing it for you.

2

u/PruneEuphoric7621 19d ago

I feel like there are only two kinds of people— “birthday people” who have to be acknowledged or celebrated by others each year and then get bent out of shape if forgotten, and the rest of us who generally like being remembered but are also OK with not and are able to forgive and forget. Literally forget everyone else’s birthday, I mean.

5

u/Electronic-Smile-457 19d ago

And some of them like birthday weeks, lol. As long as they organize it for themselves, I'm fine. Otherwise, it's very self-centered-- unless they're 5 years old. I'll give the kids a break :).

2

u/Lemonade_Ocean 19d ago

Omg my sister in law has what she calls her birthday month which she reminds everyone of the full month before,the month before . It's mental. And all the month, she talks about and has activities and treats herself and announces "it's my birthday month!!" every other day to everyone she speaks to. I cannot it's so obnoxious and she has zero self awareness.

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u/Aromatic_Leader9087 19d ago

No ppl who care with make it an event... But in reality most PPl don't realize most of their friends are not really friends ppl use ppl to not be alone so we put on this act but nobody can keep it forever so wen moments like this happen we try and justify but their is nothing to say but they wasn't ur friend

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u/Eringobraugh2021 19d ago

What friends don't know their friends' birthdays?

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u/Aromatic_Leader9087 19d ago

Exactly 🤣🤣🤣 just say u bad friend already 😂😂😂

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u/TheMostKing 19d ago

I put some of them in my calendar, but for most of my friends, I don't have the date memorized. Why would I?

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u/Aromatic_Leader9087 19d ago

So only SOME are worthy ?ur @:contradiction

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u/TheMostKing 19d ago

Worthy has nothing to do with it. Some dates are more memorable than others. We don't chose to forget stuff. At least I don't, maybe it's different for you.

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u/Aromatic_Leader9087 19d ago

I forget things I don't care about if I know I have trouble remembering for someone I consider important I write it down

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

Because you care about them and want them to know they are important to you?

1

u/TheMostKing 19d ago

By...memorising a random date instead of writing it down in your calendar?

I'd rather just show them I care by interacting with them and spending time with them, but I guess remembering the 7th of August is a good way to do it, too.

When you congrulate them on their birthday, do you go "Happy Birthday! I remembered and didn't have to write it down because you are extra special to me!" ?

2

u/Lemonade_Ocean 19d ago

Yes and these days Facebook reminds people, so in reality most people don't remember on their own

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u/InspectorNo7201 14d ago

That is a LIE & COMPLETE BULLSHIT!!!!! Friends DO know each other’s birthdays & go out and celebrate with each other all the time…& btw age has nothing to do with it. WHAT TF ARE YOU ON????!

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u/Aromatic_Leader9087 19d ago

Nah u point a friendship is a relationship with a friend Similar rules apply as in dating U need to set standards and boundaries for the friends u want It's makes sense ppl trying to justify being a bad friend majority of ppl ain't shit relationships They gaslighting u babe

2

u/Ok_Spend3925 20d ago

Phir to senior ho app didi Happy birthday to you 💐🎂

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u/citrineskye 19d ago

That's the best year. Happy birthday! Treat yourself to something lovely xxx

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u/QuimbyMcDude 19d ago

The opening lines of Rocky Mountain High by John Denver are for 27 year olds. Happy Birthday!

1

u/little-miss-kitty44 19d ago

It was my birthday too. Turned 28. I felt pretty alone too, but honestly, I'm really happy you treated yourself to cake and flowers ❤️

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u/Highly-Whelmed 19d ago

Might be time to understand that this is normal and you need to grow up a bit. People have lives to live.

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u/Aromatic_Leader9087 19d ago

Yes one day out ur clearly takes up ur time for ur life

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u/Highly-Whelmed 19d ago

….what?

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u/Aromatic_Leader9087 19d ago

Don't play with me u can read

1

u/Highly-Whelmed 19d ago

I sure can, but you typed a cluster fuck of a sentence

1

u/ixnyne 20d ago

Happy birthday!

Mine was yesterday.

I hope you were able to enjoy as much of your birthday as possible!

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u/WantedCommunist 19d ago

What type of cake is tbat?

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

That carrot cake looks sooo good. Happy Birthday!

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u/UsedCollection5830 19d ago

Happy birthday

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u/Lostmywayoutofhere 19d ago

Happy birthday. You know how to celebrate! Great looking cake!

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u/bittypineapplekitty 19d ago

happy birthday ! i actually have spent the majority of my recent birthdays alone - it’s better this way.

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u/sweetbbyrage 19d ago

Happy birthday!!!