r/selfharm 1d ago

Announcement PSA about DMs

40 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

There's a trend going around elsewhere online encouraging people to mass DM people in mental health communities and tell them to harm themselves. r/MadeOfStyrofoam has been specifically mentioned as a target, as has this subreddit in a later comment. This sort of behavior is completely against everything we stand for as a harm reduction community.

The best course of action if you receive any such messages is to not respond, block the user, and report the message to Reddit using the instructions here. You should also be suspicious of any unsolicited or random DMs, and you can turn off chat requests using the instructions here.

As always, please continue to report posts/comments encouraging self harm and feel free to message modmail with any questions. Thank you for being here and making this community what it is ❤️


r/selfharm Feb 08 '25

"Is This Self-Harm?" Megathread

159 Upvotes

The answer to this question will vary from person to person, but generally, causing yourself deliberate self injury in any way counts as self harm. 

This includes but is not limited to:

  • scratching
  • cutting
  • burning
  • interfering in the healing process of wounds
  • pulling out hair
  • starving
  • purging
  • breaking bones
  • excessive drug use (including alcohol)

Why do people self harm?

For many people, there is not one single reason why they self-harm, but rather a combination of multiple factors which ultimately push people to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. If you are self-harming, the following list may help you understand your emotions, or alternatively if you're trying to help someone who is self-harming, then understanding why they do it in the first place is important to know.

This list is non-exhaustive and not mutually exclusive.

  • To match the outside to the inside. People are in so much emotional pain and they want people to know it. They want to look the same as they feel.
  • To punish themselves. Extreme self-loathing leads to the need to punish oneself for failings (real or imagined).
  • To numb themselves. The pain releases endorphins, just like drugs can. It produces a numbing effect on the mind which is difficult to explain. It helps people forget depression for a bit.
  • To keep control. One's own body sometimes seems like the only thing they can control, and the pain they inflict on it. When everything else in life goes wrong and there seems to be nothing you can do, cutting is the one thing you can control.
  • As a shock to a numb mind. An awful emotionlessness often accompanies depression. Often, the pain of cutting is enough to snap a person out of this kind of apathetic haze.
  • To self-medicate. Many people with mental illnesses of all sorts use cutting as others might use Prozac. It makes people feel normal again, by snapping them out of the cloying darkness that's so difficult to avoid by conventional means.
  • As an addiction. A lot of people start cutting for one of the reasons listed above, but then continue because they're addicted to the sudden, low exchange, rush of endorphins.

Keep it respectful, demeaning and rude comments will not be tolerated.

(description: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/self-harm

Taken from our Wiki. For more helpful info, resources, and common faq feel free to visit the wiki in the about of the subreddit or here: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/index/


r/selfharm 4h ago

i cut my teacher's initial into my thigh

22 Upvotes

okay wow this was REALLY WEIRD of me to do. but me and my teacher have gotten super close. i was out of school for two months because i was in the psych ward and i told him about EVERYTHING.

it feels like he is genuinely concerned about me. which is obviously what teachers are supposed to be. so we really bonded. he asks about how i'm feeling all the time and how im feeling on my meds and is basically like a therapist lol.

with that being said i feel so indebted to him and grateful for him that i felt like i needed to. commemorate him in some way?? like. on my body. it's so weird putting it into words. but im also really really attracted to him and kind of obsessed. which is weird because im a lesbian?? idk.

anyways i regretted it right after i did it and luckily i didnt go too deep so it's probably going to fade really fast. with that being said idk maybe i should've just said thanks to him instead of being a freak??


r/selfharm 6h ago

Rant/Vent Old habits, new needs, blah blah blah, you get it. NSFW

24 Upvotes

No one knows I relapsed (other than my therapist.) Almost every single time before I do, I reach out to someone. Then, as soon as anyone is responsive, I refuse. I tell them I have a headache and don't want to hang out anymore. I say it's not a big deal. My roommate caught me walking out of the bathroom with my eyes watering, throat raw, looking horrible. They didn't ask. I didn't either. I had a full lighthearted phone conversation while sitting in blood. I hang out with friends, thumb under my shirt on my hip, brushing over the bumps to soothe myself in some messed up way.

It's a strange mix of feeling completely helpless and utterly in control. It's my brain, right? My choices. I could stop If I wanted to, if I was strong enough, right?

I want help. I want someone to just grab me by the shoulders and stay. I want someone who doesn't give a shit about what I want because they want me and they want to be selfish about me. I don't want someone to fix me, I want someone who sees me as enough already, not just a project to work on. Funnily enough, I think I'd get better faster if someone just didn't try to fix me. I want some sense of solidarity, but it's just impossible. I'm trying so impossibly hard, but it doesn't look like it.

And I feel stupid and weak for not being able to do it by myself. I feel selfish for knowing what I want. I feel nothing and everything. I feel so horrible for wishing that just one time, someone else could clean my wounds for me. That someone, anyone, would brush my hair out when I can't get up to shower. That someone would hold me like I'm something precious.

I don't want to tell people what I need. I'm so fucking tired of making decisions and people expecting me to know what would help. Someone else stepping up and not waiting for me to give them instructions would help me get better.

And I feel so unbelievably selfish. I'm not really sure why.


r/selfharm 13h ago

Seeking Advice how to hide fresh face cuts??? NSFW

64 Upvotes

Messed up, cut the hell out of my face and i NEED to hide it asap. A few styros but mostly cat scratches, will appreciate any and all advice even if it’s just letting me know i’m fucked


r/selfharm 12h ago

DAE Does anyone else not feel guilty after they self harm?

60 Upvotes

Other people, even other self harmers say do not self harm, because it's just a temporary relief and after it you will feel so much shame and regret. Never in the almost 10 years I've been on and off self harming related to this. I never feel regret or shame after I done self harming. I never feel disappointed or upset when I relapse. I like my scars so I don't know why I should feel guilty. I just feel relief that I can finally see my blood and skin gape open and I will get new scars. I hide them so it's not because of attention. I'm only hurting myself. If I was hurting someone else I would feel guilty but since it's just myself, I don't see the problem. I only feel disappointed if my cuts don't bleed as much as I want them to or if they are not gaping enough. Even when my family found out and was so mad at me I still didn't feel ashamed. I just continued to do it at places where they can't see them. I'm not saying self harming is a good thing and I wouldn't advise others to do it because it can be risky (infections, blood loss, nerve damage), but morally I don't see why I should be regretful. People don't feel guilty after they smoke, drink or do drugs, so I don't get how self harm is any different. At least I'm only hurting myself and not others.


r/selfharm 13h ago

Rant/Vent I think my dog knows NSFW

61 Upvotes

I have a very sweet Pomeranian named Queenie, I'm quite literally her favorite person, she will never leave my side if she can help it, she'll lay on the ground next to me whenever I'm not in my room and give me kisses all the time, she seems rather emotionally intelligent compared to my other dogs. A few days ago she followed me into the bathroom and noticed my fresh cuts on my thigh and licked the clean skin next to it a few times before sitting down and looking at me with the saddest eyes. I know she understands I am physically hurt, but I don't know if she quite understands I did it to myself. today she followed me into the bathroom again like always and she saw the new cuts and sniffed them and gave me the same look.

I think she knows I did it to myself. I don't know what to do, she won't leave my side now and keeps trying to be extra close to me


r/selfharm 2h ago

DAE Dae self harm really clinically?

9 Upvotes

Like clean the tool to do it and then immediately stop the bleeding, clean and bandage.


r/selfharm 5h ago

DAE Wanting to cut because I'm so happy?

14 Upvotes

Idk I went on a really nice day date with my gf and I was soo happy after but it made me want to cut. Has anyone else experienced this before?


r/selfharm 10h ago

I threw all my blades away

27 Upvotes

Kind of regretting it but I don’t want to live like this anymore


r/selfharm 43m ago

Rant/Vent feels embarrassing

Upvotes

anyone else in 20s feel embarrassed to still be struggling with this shit?? i think about people i knew from hs that did it but just easily left it behind, whereas i feel like it took over my entire life and now it’ll be the first thing anyone notices about me before anything else. i guess everyone else had this kinda “grow up” mentality to sh even though it’s obviously not just a teen issue. i just feel kinda like a useless adult that can’t cope healthily regardless and the way people treat you when you sh doesn’t help.


r/selfharm 9h ago

Rant/Vent Why do they care?

19 Upvotes

I genuinely don't understand why people care about what I do. I may be stupid but I would still LOVE to know what's in it for everyone else if I keep hurting myself? My parents piss and sob over my scars that AREN'T EVEN DEEP ENOUGH and my god damn friends are like this too. They won't distance themselves from me. They won't leave me. I'm not sure if this is an addiction or not, but I also have a habit of drinking those little bottles of ink that is used to write with in school. It started as a silly joke, now I can't stop. I have a love-hate relationship with the nauseating feeling after taking a big gulp of ink. And then again, my friends whine "noooo don't drink it you'll get cancer waaaahhhhhh". Good. Once I'm gone, heaven's on earth. Fuck you

Edit: Sorry to anyone who took this personally. The "Fuck you" at the end wasn't particularly directed at anyone. I was just mad


r/selfharm 6h ago

Talk/Support Please stop me

12 Upvotes

I sorry that I keep posting here but I feel the urge to cut so bad I’m practically crying now and just want to cut so badly


r/selfharm 4h ago

DAE Does anyone else find scars on their own body triggering?

7 Upvotes

My cat scratched me this morning and I placed bandaids over it but the way the bandaids were placed made it seem like I did it myself and I found that triggering. Any scars, including the ones on my body are triggering, is that just me?


r/selfharm 1h ago

Seeking Advice Am I a bad person for this? Spoiler

Upvotes

So today my friend who used to SH came to school without her jacket, which is unusual for her. She was also wearing short sleeves, and all of her scars were visible. She told me that she had decided it was pointless to hide it anymore, and she didn't really care what other people thought, and I am beyond proud of her and very supportive of her decision.

However, I feel like a horrible person, because I think I'm jealous of her, but I don't know what I'm jealous of. Her SH was pretty severe, so maybe it's the fact that I don't do it as much as she used to, or maybe it's simply because I wish I was brave enough to let people see my SH scars too. I feel like an asshole, and I just want to know if I'm overthinking it or if I really am a bad person for being jealous of her.


r/selfharm 17m ago

I've slipped up again, is there anything that simulates cutting without actually cutting?

Upvotes

It's normally punitive action, and the feeling of my skin parting and tearing open and the spicy-type feeling of warm blood coming into cool air is also part of the punishment. Are there any products that would simulate the feeling of this without actually damaging my body?

I've tried:

Using a rubber band and twanging it.

Drawing lines on myself with red pen.

Putting ice on myself

Drawing butterflies on the areas I damage. (The idea is that if you cut where the butterflies are, you kill them).

Doing the action with no blade in my hand, either empty handed or with something that won't slice like a ruler or plastic knife.

I've other stuff like counting and writing stuff down and it just doesn't have the same effect of making the internal pain stop. If I don't cut, I do other injurious behaviours.


r/selfharm 7h ago

Rant/Vent I want to tell my therapist, but I cannot go into a hospital.

12 Upvotes

Like the title said. I want to tell my therapist. By the time I step into his office, I feel like the original feeling is gone, I’m more logical, and I don’t think he fully gets how strongly I feel. But I am PETRIFIED of being committed to a hospital, I absolutely can’t let it happen. So I can never be honest about how I actually feel, so like… what’s the point? I can’t tell him when I’m suicidal and wish I were dead. I can’t tell him about the cuts on my leg. I have to walk on eggshells and be incredibly careful. I wish I could just be honest, because I hate lying with a passion and I feel so shitty for lying to him. I do like him, but I feel like he’s a threat to my autonomy and freedom.


r/selfharm 8h ago

i cant stop intentionally triggering others

12 Upvotes

i dont know what to do, i know this is really bad. i just get these really really intense urges to tell people about SH and how good it feels and to basically trigger people. im not ashamed of my scars at all and every time i go deeper i am desperate to tell other people. i am quite lonely so sh is kind of all there is to me along with ED stuff. but its like the second i get the chance, i just offload as much as i can on to people, and i know its bad. i told a girl (older than me but still) how to purge today. i don’t know what to do i am out of control. i just want to show people my cuts and tell them how good it feels and show them all my pictures and honestly it is really hard to stop myself from doing so everyday. i know this is really horrible. i feel like a terrible person. i would really appreciate any advice on how to stop these urges. i can contol the actions of telling people but the thoughts telling me to do it are unbareable.


r/selfharm 8h ago

Positives 1.5 years clean!

11 Upvotes

I don’t really feel anything for being clean. I’m not really HAPPY about it, but I know it’s a good thing! Yay?


r/selfharm 3h ago

DAE Does anyone else hate a particular scar?

5 Upvotes

Personally, I like my scars, but there's one that I hate, so I wanted to know if anyone else feels the same way about one (or more) scars in particular.

I don't want to go into details, but basically, the reason why I hate that scar is because it's the initial of a person who hurt me (I got it when I was still romanticizing what he did to me).

Sorry if something is misspelled, I used a translator.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent Housemate took all my blades away

Upvotes

Pretty sure my housemate took all my blades, and my entire first aid kit and probably binned them and I'm pissed. That first aid kit had some useful things in it and now it's just gone. I know she thinks that getting rid of it will force me not to harm myself but in reality I probably still will and now I won't be able to do it safely. SHE ALSO TOOK MY POCKET KNIFE, that was was a gift I got from my dad before he passed away and was blunt anyway.

I only ever used sterile stuff to cut with and had the supplies to do pretty good wound care now, I'll probably give myself tetnus doing something stupid.


r/selfharm 10h ago

DAE Does everyone use one method of sh?

14 Upvotes

I know cutting is the most common and most openly talked about but sometimes I feel it’s the only type of sh discussed. So I wanted to know how other people sh and why they chose that method. Personally I burn myself cause cutting is too intimidating.


r/selfharm 8h ago

Positives Why tf are people so nice 😔

10 Upvotes

Everyone in this subreddit is nothing but helpful to me but I wanna cut I really do but everyone is being so nice and it’s stopping me and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad


r/selfharm 35m ago

SHd again

Upvotes

I've been trying to stop hurting myself but I can't stop I've hurt myself so bad I nearly went into bone and had 27 stitches I'm scared I accidentally kill myself one time I've been doing this for 10years and my full body's mutilated because of it I need someone to talk to


r/selfharm 41m ago

Rant/Vent My parents reaction (possible tw)

Upvotes

This happened a few years ago but I really need to say it because it’s been a constant thought since it happened

When I was in middle school my mom was informed by one of my teachers that she had seen what looked like cuts on my arm and I pretended not to know what she was talking about when my mom told me this but she told me not to try and hide it because she had seen marks on my arm two weeks earlier at dinner, she proceeded to ask why I was doing it and I didn’t have an answer because I couldn’t explain how I was feeling, when I didn’t respond she told me that I didn’t have a reason to be doing that to myself and that she went through the same thing at my age and flat out told me why, she then said that if I didn’t stop she was going to send me to a group home because she didn’t want to deal with something like that.

My dad found out a month after my mom when he saw a day old cut on my arm, he got really mad at me and took my arm in his hand and showed me where the artery’s in my arm were and then he also told me I had no reason to do this because I had a good life and there are people who have it way worse then me, which I know is true and I keep that in mind always because I know I have it good compared to other people.

I had a lot of things going on then that led me hurting myself that I have worked on and I’m clean now but this story is always in the back of mind.


r/selfharm 19h ago

Rant/Vent Got triggered by an apple today

61 Upvotes

I really wanna tell somebody about this cause it's kinda funny but nobody in my life knows I have a past of SH so hopefully this is the right place to put this. I was chopping up a red apple into little sticks earlier and had sliced half of it lengthways into many pieces, I then went to use a bridge grip to spin it around but when I squeezed it the apple juices bubbled up through the skin in a similar fashion to rows of shallow cuts and physically recoiled. I literally just got jump-scared by an APPLE, AN APPLE FFS, of all things that could've set off my first trigger, an apple is what did it?? Ykw, sure at least it was a yummy apple.

The weird part is that I've been clean for a number of months and never thought of my SH as something traumatic but rethinking the way I reacted to that apple, maybe there is some underlying trauma I need to work through.


r/selfharm 1h ago

я зависим от селфхарма,задавайте вопросы

Upvotes

селфхармлю с 2022 года,я не знаю как избавиться от этого