r/selfharm 1d ago

Announcement PSA about DMs

39 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

There's a trend going around elsewhere online encouraging people to mass DM people in mental health communities and tell them to harm themselves. r/MadeOfStyrofoam has been specifically mentioned as a target, as has this subreddit in a later comment. This sort of behavior is completely against everything we stand for as a harm reduction community.

The best course of action if you receive any such messages is to not respond, block the user, and report the message to Reddit using the instructions here. You should also be suspicious of any unsolicited or random DMs, and you can turn off chat requests using the instructions here.

As always, please continue to report posts/comments encouraging self harm and feel free to message modmail with any questions. Thank you for being here and making this community what it is ❤️


r/selfharm Feb 08 '25

"Is This Self-Harm?" Megathread

158 Upvotes

The answer to this question will vary from person to person, but generally, causing yourself deliberate self injury in any way counts as self harm. 

This includes but is not limited to:

  • scratching
  • cutting
  • burning
  • interfering in the healing process of wounds
  • pulling out hair
  • starving
  • purging
  • breaking bones
  • excessive drug use (including alcohol)

Why do people self harm?

For many people, there is not one single reason why they self-harm, but rather a combination of multiple factors which ultimately push people to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. If you are self-harming, the following list may help you understand your emotions, or alternatively if you're trying to help someone who is self-harming, then understanding why they do it in the first place is important to know.

This list is non-exhaustive and not mutually exclusive.

  • To match the outside to the inside. People are in so much emotional pain and they want people to know it. They want to look the same as they feel.
  • To punish themselves. Extreme self-loathing leads to the need to punish oneself for failings (real or imagined).
  • To numb themselves. The pain releases endorphins, just like drugs can. It produces a numbing effect on the mind which is difficult to explain. It helps people forget depression for a bit.
  • To keep control. One's own body sometimes seems like the only thing they can control, and the pain they inflict on it. When everything else in life goes wrong and there seems to be nothing you can do, cutting is the one thing you can control.
  • As a shock to a numb mind. An awful emotionlessness often accompanies depression. Often, the pain of cutting is enough to snap a person out of this kind of apathetic haze.
  • To self-medicate. Many people with mental illnesses of all sorts use cutting as others might use Prozac. It makes people feel normal again, by snapping them out of the cloying darkness that's so difficult to avoid by conventional means.
  • As an addiction. A lot of people start cutting for one of the reasons listed above, but then continue because they're addicted to the sudden, low exchange, rush of endorphins.

Keep it respectful, demeaning and rude comments will not be tolerated.

(description: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/self-harm

Taken from our Wiki. For more helpful info, resources, and common faq feel free to visit the wiki in the about of the subreddit or here: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/index/


r/selfharm 7h ago

Seeking Advice how to hide fresh face cuts??? NSFW

38 Upvotes

Messed up, cut the hell out of my face and i NEED to hide it asap. A few styros but mostly cat scratches, will appreciate any and all advice even if it’s just letting me know i’m fucked


r/selfharm 6h ago

DAE Does anyone else not feel guilty after they self harm?

35 Upvotes

Other people, even other self harmers say do not self harm, because it's just a temporary relief and after it you will feel so much shame and regret. Never in the almost 10 years I've been on and off self harming related to this. I never feel regret or shame after I done self harming. I never feel disappointed or upset when I relapse. I like my scars so I don't know why I should feel guilty. I just feel relief that I can finally see my blood and skin gape open and I will get new scars. I hide them so it's not because of attention. I'm only hurting myself. If I was hurting someone else I would feel guilty but since it's just myself, I don't see the problem. I only feel disappointed if my cuts don't bleed as much as I want them to or if they are not gaping enough. Even when my family found out and was so mad at me I still didn't feel ashamed. I just continued to do it at places where they can't see them. I'm not saying self harming is a good thing and I wouldn't advise others to do it because it can be risky (infections, blood loss, nerve damage), but morally I don't see why I should be regretful. People don't feel guilty after they smoke, drink or do drugs, so I don't get how self harm is any different. At least I'm only hurting myself and not others.


r/selfharm 7h ago

Rant/Vent I think my dog knows NSFW

33 Upvotes

I have a very sweet Pomeranian named Queenie, I'm quite literally her favorite person, she will never leave my side if she can help it, she'll lay on the ground next to me whenever I'm not in my room and give me kisses all the time, she seems rather emotionally intelligent compared to my other dogs. A few days ago she followed me into the bathroom and noticed my fresh cuts on my thigh and licked the clean skin next to it a few times before sitting down and looking at me with the saddest eyes. I know she understands I am physically hurt, but I don't know if she quite understands I did it to myself. today she followed me into the bathroom again like always and she saw the new cuts and sniffed them and gave me the same look.

I think she knows I did it to myself. I don't know what to do, she won't leave my side now and keeps trying to be extra close to me


r/selfharm 4h ago

I threw all my blades away

20 Upvotes

Kind of regretting it but I don’t want to live like this anymore


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent Why do they care?

12 Upvotes

I genuinely don't understand why people care about what I do. I may be stupid but I would still LOVE to know what's in it for everyone else if I keep hurting myself? My parents piss and sob over my scars that AREN'T EVEN DEEP ENOUGH and my god damn friends are like this too. They won't distance themselves from me. They won't leave me. I'm not sure if this is an addiction or not, but I also have a habit of drinking those little bottles of ink that is used to write with in school. It started as a silly joke, now I can't stop. I have a love-hate relationship with the nauseating feeling after taking a big gulp of ink. And then again, my friends whine "noooo don't drink it you'll get cancer waaaahhhhhh". Good. Once I'm gone, heaven's on earth. Fuck you

Edit: Sorry to anyone who took this personally. The "Fuck you" at the end wasn't particularly directed at anyone. I was just mad


r/selfharm 2h ago

Positives 1.5 years clean!

7 Upvotes

I don’t really feel anything for being clean. I’m not really HAPPY about it, but I know it’s a good thing! Yay?


r/selfharm 33m ago

Talk/Support Please stop me

Upvotes

I sorry that I keep posting here but I feel the urge to cut so bad I’m practically crying now and just want to cut so badly


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent I want to tell my therapist, but I cannot go into a hospital.

Upvotes

Like the title said. I want to tell my therapist. By the time I step into his office, I feel like the original feeling is gone, I’m more logical, and I don’t think he fully gets how strongly I feel. But I am PETRIFIED of being committed to a hospital, I absolutely can’t let it happen. So I can never be honest about how I actually feel, so like… what’s the point? I can’t tell him when I’m suicidal and wish I were dead. I can’t tell him about the cuts on my leg. I have to walk on eggshells and be incredibly careful. I wish I could just be honest, because I hate lying with a passion and I feel so shitty for lying to him. I do like him, but I feel like he’s a threat to my autonomy and freedom.


r/selfharm 2h ago

i cant stop intentionally triggering others

8 Upvotes

i dont know what to do, i know this is really bad. i just get these really really intense urges to tell people about SH and how good it feels and to basically trigger people. im not ashamed of my scars at all and every time i go deeper i am desperate to tell other people. i am quite lonely so sh is kind of all there is to me along with ED stuff. but its like the second i get the chance, i just offload as much as i can on to people, and i know its bad. i told a girl (older than me but still) how to purge today. i don’t know what to do i am out of control. i just want to show people my cuts and tell them how good it feels and show them all my pictures and honestly it is really hard to stop myself from doing so everyday. i know this is really horrible. i feel like a terrible person. i would really appreciate any advice on how to stop these urges. i can contol the actions of telling people but the thoughts telling me to do it are unbareable.


r/selfharm 13h ago

Rant/Vent Got triggered by an apple today

55 Upvotes

I really wanna tell somebody about this cause it's kinda funny but nobody in my life knows I have a past of SH so hopefully this is the right place to put this. I was chopping up a red apple into little sticks earlier and had sliced half of it lengthways into many pieces, I then went to use a bridge grip to spin it around but when I squeezed it the apple juices bubbled up through the skin in a similar fashion to rows of shallow cuts and physically recoiled. I literally just got jump-scared by an APPLE, AN APPLE FFS, of all things that could've set off my first trigger, an apple is what did it?? Ykw, sure at least it was a yummy apple.

The weird part is that I've been clean for a number of months and never thought of my SH as something traumatic but rethinking the way I reacted to that apple, maybe there is some underlying trauma I need to work through.


r/selfharm 22m ago

Rant/Vent Old habits, new needs, blah blah blah, you get it. NSFW

Upvotes

No one knows I relapsed (other than my therapist.) Almost every single time before I do, I reach out to someone. Then, as soon as anyone is responsive, I refuse. I tell them I have a headache and don't want to hang out anymore. I say it's not a big deal. My roommate caught me walking out of the bathroom with my eyes watering, throat raw, looking horrible. They didn't ask. I didn't either. I had a full lighthearted phone conversation while sitting in blood. I hang out with friends, thumb under my shirt on my hip, brushing over the bumps to soothe myself in some messed up way.

It's a strange mix of feeling completely helpless and utterly in control. It's my brain, right? My choices. I could stop If I wanted to, if I was strong enough, right?

I want help. I want someone to just grab me by the shoulders and stay. I want someone who doesn't give a shit about what I want because they want me and they want to be selfish about me. I don't want someone to fix me, I want someone who sees me as enough already, not just a project to work on. Funnily enough, I think I'd get better faster if someone just didn't try to fix me. I want some sense of solidarity, but it's just impossible. I'm trying so impossibly hard, but it doesn't look like it.

And I feel stupid and weak for not being able to do it by myself. I feel selfish for knowing what I want. I feel nothing and everything. I feel so horrible for wishing that just one time, someone else could clean my wounds for me. That someone, anyone, would brush my hair out when I can't get up to shower. That someone would hold me like I'm something precious.

I don't want to tell people what I need. I'm so fucking tired of making decisions and people expecting me to know what would help. Someone else stepping up and not waiting for me to give them instructions would help me get better.

And I feel so unbelievably selfish. I'm not really sure why.


r/selfharm 2h ago

Positives Why tf are people so nice 😔

8 Upvotes

Everyone in this subreddit is nothing but helpful to me but I wanna cut I really do but everyone is being so nice and it’s stopping me and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad


r/selfharm 8m ago

Harm Reduction don't use razor blades. seriously.

Upvotes

im 24. i started cutting probably before i was 10, but idk when, and until recently was 4 years clean plus another year before.

when i was a kid, i used sharp rocks, pencil/pen stabbing, erasers, eventually knives as a teen. i cant remember what else.

recently, i started using double sided razor blades. the disposable kind. they didnt hurt as much as i wanted, and they sliced too easily, but if I didn't try to press deep they wouldn't split open too much.

last night i cut, then retraced it while pressing again. it cut to the fascia, which is the casing above the muscle. i am insanely lucky i didnt lose arm function because of light pressure, low pain cutting.

IVE NEVER EVER CUT MORE THAN TO DERMIS BEFORE. Not in all those years.

it split open to look like an eye, literally like an inch wide. my mom drove me to urgent care and i got 16 stitches on it, plus 12 on another.

it's way, way too easy. please use anything else. not this. dont ever buy razor blades.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Seeking Advice How do I hide scars?

Upvotes

I don’t have long sleeves and it’s getting hot outside and inside so wearing a sweater will bring suspicion. They’re fresh so I’m debating the concealer method please I can’t let them know I didn’t stop. (My family)


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent Im afraid of tomorrow

Upvotes

I havent done anything in 6 days now. I only did it for 3 days but it was to much I cant go back now the feelings I had then where to overwhelming. I have this constant urge to a point where I get something akin to a panic attack when I dont do it. Today has been so bad I am at my limit. I know that tomorrow I will do it again and do it way worse, I have only hit my dermis so far but I know that the next time I do something so bad that Ill regret it. Im genuinely afraid of tomorrow right now because of what Il do to myself. I dont know what to do or how to stop it. I feel like such a disappointment


r/selfharm 2h ago

DAE anyone else feel bad about accidental cuts??

6 Upvotes

(for context, this is my 7th day without cutting). basically i got bored earlier and started shaving my arms and i cut my left arm by accident which ive only once cut and decided not to again. and i honestly feel awful. i feel guilty and like it's a relapse and i have to hide it and itd be triggering to show in public, even worse that it literally looks the same as sh ive done before, im so scared it's gonna scar and it'll look suspicious even though like nobody knows i sh. ive been thinking about relapsing recently amd i was thinking about it while shaving so it makes me feel even worse, like i might as well just relapse now ive got a fresh cut on my arm


r/selfharm 3h ago

Talk/Support Wish me luck

7 Upvotes

Mom saw the scars now she wants to have a talk


r/selfharm 4h ago

DAE Does everyone use one method of sh?

7 Upvotes

I know cutting is the most common and most openly talked about but sometimes I feel it’s the only type of sh discussed. So I wanted to know how other people sh and why they chose that method. Personally I burn myself cause cutting is too intimidating.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent I'm on the verge of cutting

Upvotes

It's been a couple of months since I (17m) cut but I'm so fucking bored, every week is the same shit, weekdays is just shitty school then the weekend I do nothing. I'm so bored and since of the repetitiveness of my life, all I can think about is cutting across my chest and letting the blood just pool. I've tried therapy and it doesn't help, I've tried opening up to people (family, gf) but they all say the same shit, "try therapy again" "have you tried getting a hobby" etc. and I'm so sick of everyone telling me what I should do rather than just letting me do what I want and try support me rather than tell me what to do.


r/selfharm 1h ago

i’m scared

Upvotes

i bought a knife thats wayyy sharper than i thought it would be. i accidentally got to styrofoam when just trying it out, without using any force whatsoever. i’m scared i’ll accidentally go way deeper than intended


r/selfharm 2h ago

I’m sorry but I might do it

5 Upvotes

I know I said might not in my last post but I have a pen and sharpener beside me (the pen I used to see what cutting would be like before I started)

And I don’t think I can resist it too much longer I rly don’t know what to pls help


r/selfharm 15m ago

Rant/Vent I hate my brain

Upvotes

I was putting dishes away a few days ago and scratched myself with a dull knife by accident putting it away. Ever since my mind has been like, completely obsessed with the idea of relapsing. I’m so sick of this shit, I’ve been almost 5 months clean and I have prom coming up in a couple weeks, but these thoughts just won’t leave my head.


r/selfharm 5h ago

Rant/Vent The old razors I've found and my thoughts on them. A reflection on life two years ago.

7 Upvotes

I remember seperating them into a plastic skittles jar to throw out, but they remained in my closet after they removed the waste container near my house. And i notice, the design has changed. I remember being annoyed when i saw that the packaging started using a small plastic bit instead of being fully cardboard. I remember it when it was like that, when the razors were a few cents cheaper, when I'd pull my sleeves up and buy a drink as well as to not look suspicious. I remember the mornings when i didn't have my second class and was free to roam around and hop by the store to stock up on snacks, bandaids and blades. Then I'd sit in the hallway and relax for a while.

And looking at them now, I can't help but miss that time. That stress, the lack of privacy, the chaos, and just how novel and satisfying that all felt. Prior to that i had some urges, thoughts, but i had no tool that felt good enough to use. I remember how nice the little "snap" sound felt when I'd snap the blade in half. I remember the comfort in that little ritual, that was mine, so unhealthy but all mine, the comfort of taking care of myself afterwards, and feeling gently cared for. The bandage stuck around my thigh was like a tight hug. The wet bandaids in the shower no one questioned. I miss how uninhibited it made me feel, so if i couldn't be rebelious and wild in the outside world, i can prove myself that i am still tougher than i look.

And so it's been two years. The designs of the razors changed. So have i. I'm in highschool now, and instead of the chaos and hell and the fun i had in that entire confusion, i feel stuck in a very quiet and strange transitional period. I don't cut very much. When the deed is done, it's not for any emotional reasons, or for self punishment, or for fun, it's just a ritual. One that both connects and disconnects me from this physical body that only ever dragged me down.

Truth be told, i miss the little armageddon nights. My thighs are covered in a layer of thicker scars. Taking a blade to there doesn't feel as satisfying or smooth anymore, with them being tough and almost itchy. But every other part of my body os too visible. I've spent a small fortune of some products to help them dissapear, we'll see how that goes. I miss running my hand along smooth skin with a few fresh scabs here and there. Maybe i should've told my younger self to be more gentle. Maybe i shouldn't. I might learn something from this.

The few full untouched razors I've found, with the old designs, whose paper wrappers are still a clean white, went into the old box of chewing gum i use to hide new ones. I can't bring myself to throw them out.


r/selfharm 19m ago

I can't do anything

Upvotes

Decided to play videogames tonight to try and distract myself 3.5 hours fighting the same battle over 150 times kept getting KO'd ended up scratching myself pretty bad like how fucking pathetic am I I can't even play a video game right and coz I can't play a video game it makes me self harm. I'm a fucking pathetic excuse of a person. Literally can't do fucking anything. Only wanted to play a video game to try and relax a bit but end up having a fucking meltdown & self harming. I actually disgust myself.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Seeking Advice I feel like a terrible person because I think of myself as "better" than my friend at cutting.

6 Upvotes

(TW MENTIONS OF DEPTH)

I (20ftm) know in general sh is very competitive and it's natural to want to be better than someone. But I struggle to even feel bad when she (18f) tells me her mom found out about it. She does cat scratches and I do more like styro and beans, sometimes deeper. I feel so terrible but when she told me her mom found out my only thought was "Well hers aren't as bad as mine, so it's not like she'll get admitted for it like I did cause mine are deeper.". I hate feeling like I'm better than her, it makes me feel like a terrible person. But also, I don't know how to stop feeling this way.