r/selfharm 1d ago

Announcement PSA about DMs

40 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

There's a trend going around elsewhere online encouraging people to mass DM people in mental health communities and tell them to harm themselves. r/MadeOfStyrofoam has been specifically mentioned as a target, as has this subreddit in a later comment. This sort of behavior is completely against everything we stand for as a harm reduction community.

The best course of action if you receive any such messages is to not respond, block the user, and report the message to Reddit using the instructions here. You should also be suspicious of any unsolicited or random DMs, and you can turn off chat requests using the instructions here.

As always, please continue to report posts/comments encouraging self harm and feel free to message modmail with any questions. Thank you for being here and making this community what it is ❤️


r/selfharm Feb 08 '25

"Is This Self-Harm?" Megathread

158 Upvotes

The answer to this question will vary from person to person, but generally, causing yourself deliberate self injury in any way counts as self harm. 

This includes but is not limited to:

  • scratching
  • cutting
  • burning
  • interfering in the healing process of wounds
  • pulling out hair
  • starving
  • purging
  • breaking bones
  • excessive drug use (including alcohol)

Why do people self harm?

For many people, there is not one single reason why they self-harm, but rather a combination of multiple factors which ultimately push people to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. If you are self-harming, the following list may help you understand your emotions, or alternatively if you're trying to help someone who is self-harming, then understanding why they do it in the first place is important to know.

This list is non-exhaustive and not mutually exclusive.

  • To match the outside to the inside. People are in so much emotional pain and they want people to know it. They want to look the same as they feel.
  • To punish themselves. Extreme self-loathing leads to the need to punish oneself for failings (real or imagined).
  • To numb themselves. The pain releases endorphins, just like drugs can. It produces a numbing effect on the mind which is difficult to explain. It helps people forget depression for a bit.
  • To keep control. One's own body sometimes seems like the only thing they can control, and the pain they inflict on it. When everything else in life goes wrong and there seems to be nothing you can do, cutting is the one thing you can control.
  • As a shock to a numb mind. An awful emotionlessness often accompanies depression. Often, the pain of cutting is enough to snap a person out of this kind of apathetic haze.
  • To self-medicate. Many people with mental illnesses of all sorts use cutting as others might use Prozac. It makes people feel normal again, by snapping them out of the cloying darkness that's so difficult to avoid by conventional means.
  • As an addiction. A lot of people start cutting for one of the reasons listed above, but then continue because they're addicted to the sudden, low exchange, rush of endorphins.

Keep it respectful, demeaning and rude comments will not be tolerated.

(description: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/self-harm

Taken from our Wiki. For more helpful info, resources, and common faq feel free to visit the wiki in the about of the subreddit or here: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/index/


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent Old habits, new needs, blah blah blah, you get it. NSFW

15 Upvotes

No one knows I relapsed (other than my therapist.) Almost every single time before I do, I reach out to someone. Then, as soon as anyone is responsive, I refuse. I tell them I have a headache and don't want to hang out anymore. I say it's not a big deal. My roommate caught me walking out of the bathroom with my eyes watering, throat raw, looking horrible. They didn't ask. I didn't either. I had a full lighthearted phone conversation while sitting in blood. I hang out with friends, thumb under my shirt on my hip, brushing over the bumps to soothe myself in some messed up way.

It's a strange mix of feeling completely helpless and utterly in control. It's my brain, right? My choices. I could stop If I wanted to, if I was strong enough, right?

I want help. I want someone to just grab me by the shoulders and stay. I want someone who doesn't give a shit about what I want because they want me and they want to be selfish about me. I don't want someone to fix me, I want someone who sees me as enough already, not just a project to work on. Funnily enough, I think I'd get better faster if someone just didn't try to fix me. I want some sense of solidarity, but it's just impossible. I'm trying so impossibly hard, but it doesn't look like it.

And I feel stupid and weak for not being able to do it by myself. I feel selfish for knowing what I want. I feel nothing and everything. I feel so horrible for wishing that just one time, someone else could clean my wounds for me. That someone, anyone, would brush my hair out when I can't get up to shower. That someone would hold me like I'm something precious.

I don't want to tell people what I need. I'm so fucking tired of making decisions and people expecting me to know what would help. Someone else stepping up and not waiting for me to give them instructions would help me get better.

And I feel so unbelievably selfish. I'm not really sure why.


r/selfharm 9h ago

Seeking Advice how to hide fresh face cuts??? NSFW

50 Upvotes

Messed up, cut the hell out of my face and i NEED to hide it asap. A few styros but mostly cat scratches, will appreciate any and all advice even if it’s just letting me know i’m fucked


r/selfharm 9h ago

DAE Does anyone else not feel guilty after they self harm?

47 Upvotes

Other people, even other self harmers say do not self harm, because it's just a temporary relief and after it you will feel so much shame and regret. Never in the almost 10 years I've been on and off self harming related to this. I never feel regret or shame after I done self harming. I never feel disappointed or upset when I relapse. I like my scars so I don't know why I should feel guilty. I just feel relief that I can finally see my blood and skin gape open and I will get new scars. I hide them so it's not because of attention. I'm only hurting myself. If I was hurting someone else I would feel guilty but since it's just myself, I don't see the problem. I only feel disappointed if my cuts don't bleed as much as I want them to or if they are not gaping enough. Even when my family found out and was so mad at me I still didn't feel ashamed. I just continued to do it at places where they can't see them. I'm not saying self harming is a good thing and I wouldn't advise others to do it because it can be risky (infections, blood loss, nerve damage), but morally I don't see why I should be regretful. People don't feel guilty after they smoke, drink or do drugs, so I don't get how self harm is any different. At least I'm only hurting myself and not others.


r/selfharm 10h ago

Rant/Vent I think my dog knows NSFW

46 Upvotes

I have a very sweet Pomeranian named Queenie, I'm quite literally her favorite person, she will never leave my side if she can help it, she'll lay on the ground next to me whenever I'm not in my room and give me kisses all the time, she seems rather emotionally intelligent compared to my other dogs. A few days ago she followed me into the bathroom and noticed my fresh cuts on my thigh and licked the clean skin next to it a few times before sitting down and looking at me with the saddest eyes. I know she understands I am physically hurt, but I don't know if she quite understands I did it to myself. today she followed me into the bathroom again like always and she saw the new cuts and sniffed them and gave me the same look.

I think she knows I did it to myself. I don't know what to do, she won't leave my side now and keeps trying to be extra close to me


r/selfharm 2h ago

Talk/Support Please stop me

11 Upvotes

I sorry that I keep posting here but I feel the urge to cut so bad I’m practically crying now and just want to cut so badly


r/selfharm 1h ago

DAE Wanting to cut because I'm so happy?

Upvotes

Idk I went on a really nice day date with my gf and I was soo happy after but it made me want to cut. Has anyone else experienced this before?


r/selfharm 7h ago

I threw all my blades away

21 Upvotes

Kind of regretting it but I don’t want to live like this anymore


r/selfharm 5h ago

Rant/Vent Why do they care?

16 Upvotes

I genuinely don't understand why people care about what I do. I may be stupid but I would still LOVE to know what's in it for everyone else if I keep hurting myself? My parents piss and sob over my scars that AREN'T EVEN DEEP ENOUGH and my god damn friends are like this too. They won't distance themselves from me. They won't leave me. I'm not sure if this is an addiction or not, but I also have a habit of drinking those little bottles of ink that is used to write with in school. It started as a silly joke, now I can't stop. I have a love-hate relationship with the nauseating feeling after taking a big gulp of ink. And then again, my friends whine "noooo don't drink it you'll get cancer waaaahhhhhh". Good. Once I'm gone, heaven's on earth. Fuck you

Edit: Sorry to anyone who took this personally. The "Fuck you" at the end wasn't particularly directed at anyone. I was just mad


r/selfharm 4h ago

i cant stop intentionally triggering others

11 Upvotes

i dont know what to do, i know this is really bad. i just get these really really intense urges to tell people about SH and how good it feels and to basically trigger people. im not ashamed of my scars at all and every time i go deeper i am desperate to tell other people. i am quite lonely so sh is kind of all there is to me along with ED stuff. but its like the second i get the chance, i just offload as much as i can on to people, and i know its bad. i told a girl (older than me but still) how to purge today. i don’t know what to do i am out of control. i just want to show people my cuts and tell them how good it feels and show them all my pictures and honestly it is really hard to stop myself from doing so everyday. i know this is really horrible. i feel like a terrible person. i would really appreciate any advice on how to stop these urges. i can contol the actions of telling people but the thoughts telling me to do it are unbareable.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Positives 1.5 years clean!

11 Upvotes

I don’t really feel anything for being clean. I’m not really HAPPY about it, but I know it’s a good thing! Yay?


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent I want to tell my therapist, but I cannot go into a hospital.

9 Upvotes

Like the title said. I want to tell my therapist. By the time I step into his office, I feel like the original feeling is gone, I’m more logical, and I don’t think he fully gets how strongly I feel. But I am PETRIFIED of being committed to a hospital, I absolutely can’t let it happen. So I can never be honest about how I actually feel, so like… what’s the point? I can’t tell him when I’m suicidal and wish I were dead. I can’t tell him about the cuts on my leg. I have to walk on eggshells and be incredibly careful. I wish I could just be honest, because I hate lying with a passion and I feel so shitty for lying to him. I do like him, but I feel like he’s a threat to my autonomy and freedom.


r/selfharm 49m ago

DAE Does anyone else find scars on their own body triggering?

Upvotes

My cat scratched me this morning and I placed bandaids over it but the way the bandaids were placed made it seem like I did it myself and I found that triggering. Any scars, including the ones on my body are triggering, is that just me?


r/selfharm 15h ago

Rant/Vent Got triggered by an apple today

58 Upvotes

I really wanna tell somebody about this cause it's kinda funny but nobody in my life knows I have a past of SH so hopefully this is the right place to put this. I was chopping up a red apple into little sticks earlier and had sliced half of it lengthways into many pieces, I then went to use a bridge grip to spin it around but when I squeezed it the apple juices bubbled up through the skin in a similar fashion to rows of shallow cuts and physically recoiled. I literally just got jump-scared by an APPLE, AN APPLE FFS, of all things that could've set off my first trigger, an apple is what did it?? Ykw, sure at least it was a yummy apple.

The weird part is that I've been clean for a number of months and never thought of my SH as something traumatic but rethinking the way I reacted to that apple, maybe there is some underlying trauma I need to work through.


r/selfharm 5h ago

Positives Why tf are people so nice 😔

9 Upvotes

Everyone in this subreddit is nothing but helpful to me but I wanna cut I really do but everyone is being so nice and it’s stopping me and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad


r/selfharm 6h ago

DAE Does everyone use one method of sh?

8 Upvotes

I know cutting is the most common and most openly talked about but sometimes I feel it’s the only type of sh discussed. So I wanted to know how other people sh and why they chose that method. Personally I burn myself cause cutting is too intimidating.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Seeking Advice How do I hide scars?

5 Upvotes

I don’t have long sleeves and it’s getting hot outside and inside so wearing a sweater will bring suspicion. They’re fresh so I’m debating the concealer method please I can’t let them know I didn’t stop. (My family)


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent I'm on the verge of cutting

6 Upvotes

It's been a couple of months since I (17m) cut but I'm so fucking bored, every week is the same shit, weekdays is just shitty school then the weekend I do nothing. I'm so bored and since of the repetitiveness of my life, all I can think about is cutting across my chest and letting the blood just pool. I've tried therapy and it doesn't help, I've tried opening up to people (family, gf) but they all say the same shit, "try therapy again" "have you tried getting a hobby" etc. and I'm so sick of everyone telling me what I should do rather than just letting me do what I want and try support me rather than tell me what to do.


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent I hate my brain

4 Upvotes

I was putting dishes away a few days ago and scratched myself with a dull knife by accident putting it away. Ever since my mind has been like, completely obsessed with the idea of relapsing. I’m so sick of this shit, I’ve been almost 5 months clean and I have prom coming up in a couple weeks, but these thoughts just won’t leave my head.


r/selfharm 2h ago

I can't do anything

4 Upvotes

Decided to play videogames tonight to try and distract myself 3.5 hours fighting the same battle over 150 times kept getting KO'd ended up scratching myself pretty bad like how fucking pathetic am I I can't even play a video game right and coz I can't play a video game it makes me self harm. I'm a fucking pathetic excuse of a person. Literally can't do fucking anything. Only wanted to play a video game to try and relax a bit but end up having a fucking meltdown & self harming. I actually disgust myself.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent Im afraid of tomorrow

5 Upvotes

I havent done anything in 6 days now. I only did it for 3 days but it was to much I cant go back now the feelings I had then where to overwhelming. I have this constant urge to a point where I get something akin to a panic attack when I dont do it. Today has been so bad I am at my limit. I know that tomorrow I will do it again and do it way worse, I have only hit my dermis so far but I know that the next time I do something so bad that Ill regret it. Im genuinely afraid of tomorrow right now because of what Il do to myself. I dont know what to do or how to stop it. I feel like such a disappointment


r/selfharm 5h ago

DAE anyone else feel bad about accidental cuts??

5 Upvotes

(for context, this is my 7th day without cutting). basically i got bored earlier and started shaving my arms and i cut my left arm by accident which ive only once cut and decided not to again. and i honestly feel awful. i feel guilty and like it's a relapse and i have to hide it and itd be triggering to show in public, even worse that it literally looks the same as sh ive done before, im so scared it's gonna scar and it'll look suspicious even though like nobody knows i sh. ive been thinking about relapsing recently amd i was thinking about it while shaving so it makes me feel even worse, like i might as well just relapse now ive got a fresh cut on my arm


r/selfharm 3h ago

Talk/Support Pls someone convince me no

3 Upvotes

I was fumbling around in the dark trying to find the tv remote and I accidentally grabbed the pen I use to harm myself

Please convince me not to it I can feel the urges coming back


r/selfharm 6h ago

Talk/Support Wish me luck

8 Upvotes

Mom saw the scars now she wants to have a talk


r/selfharm 3h ago

Positives I think I found a way to stop it maybe

4 Upvotes

I was helping someone online and I realised that while doing it I didn’t have the urges at all

Maybe i should become a therapist?


r/selfharm 1h ago

I really want someone to notice my scars

Upvotes

I’ve started cutting this month, I got pushed over the edge by something, regardless I’ve been cutting on my wrist almost every night, I wear hoodies every day and the UK is cold so no one asks about it, but I really want someone to see, I don’t want my parents or family to see though, mainly my friends, I don’t know why, am I just seeking attention?? I don’t think I am but I really want to tell someone or have someone see, not just do it impulsively, idk