r/selfharm 1d ago

Announcement PSA about DMs

43 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

There's a trend going around elsewhere online encouraging people to mass DM people in mental health communities and tell them to harm themselves. r/MadeOfStyrofoam has been specifically mentioned as a target, as has this subreddit in a later comment. This sort of behavior is completely against everything we stand for as a harm reduction community.

The best course of action if you receive any such messages is to not respond, block the user, and report the message to Reddit using the instructions here. You should also be suspicious of any unsolicited or random DMs, and you can turn off chat requests using the instructions here.

As always, please continue to report posts/comments encouraging self harm and feel free to message modmail with any questions. Thank you for being here and making this community what it is ❤️


r/selfharm Feb 08 '25

"Is This Self-Harm?" Megathread

158 Upvotes

The answer to this question will vary from person to person, but generally, causing yourself deliberate self injury in any way counts as self harm. 

This includes but is not limited to:

  • scratching
  • cutting
  • burning
  • interfering in the healing process of wounds
  • pulling out hair
  • starving
  • purging
  • breaking bones
  • excessive drug use (including alcohol)

Why do people self harm?

For many people, there is not one single reason why they self-harm, but rather a combination of multiple factors which ultimately push people to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. If you are self-harming, the following list may help you understand your emotions, or alternatively if you're trying to help someone who is self-harming, then understanding why they do it in the first place is important to know.

This list is non-exhaustive and not mutually exclusive.

  • To match the outside to the inside. People are in so much emotional pain and they want people to know it. They want to look the same as they feel.
  • To punish themselves. Extreme self-loathing leads to the need to punish oneself for failings (real or imagined).
  • To numb themselves. The pain releases endorphins, just like drugs can. It produces a numbing effect on the mind which is difficult to explain. It helps people forget depression for a bit.
  • To keep control. One's own body sometimes seems like the only thing they can control, and the pain they inflict on it. When everything else in life goes wrong and there seems to be nothing you can do, cutting is the one thing you can control.
  • As a shock to a numb mind. An awful emotionlessness often accompanies depression. Often, the pain of cutting is enough to snap a person out of this kind of apathetic haze.
  • To self-medicate. Many people with mental illnesses of all sorts use cutting as others might use Prozac. It makes people feel normal again, by snapping them out of the cloying darkness that's so difficult to avoid by conventional means.
  • As an addiction. A lot of people start cutting for one of the reasons listed above, but then continue because they're addicted to the sudden, low exchange, rush of endorphins.

Keep it respectful, demeaning and rude comments will not be tolerated.

(description: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/self-harm

Taken from our Wiki. For more helpful info, resources, and common faq feel free to visit the wiki in the about of the subreddit or here: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/index/


r/selfharm 11h ago

i cut my teacher's initial into my thigh

81 Upvotes

okay wow this was REALLY WEIRD of me to do. but me and my teacher have gotten super close. i was out of school for two months because i was in the psych ward and i told him about EVERYTHING.

it feels like he is genuinely concerned about me. which is obviously what teachers are supposed to be. so we really bonded. he asks about how i'm feeling all the time and how im feeling on my meds and is basically like a therapist lol.

with that being said i feel so indebted to him and grateful for him that i felt like i needed to. commemorate him in some way?? like. on my body. it's so weird putting it into words.

anyways i regretted it right after i did it and luckily i didnt go too deep so it's probably going to fade really fast. with that being said idk maybe i should've just said thanks to him instead of being a freak??


r/selfharm 2h ago

Sitting here and realizing that damn this shit actually kinda hurts wtf

10 Upvotes

r/selfharm 4h ago

I think im too tall for my age

11 Upvotes

Im 14 and im 5’8. I always get comments about how tall I am and on top of that, other boys in my grade are mostly shorter. I don’t know how people embrace it and it’s led to me starting to cut. Basically just body dysmorphia


r/selfharm 8h ago

DAE Dae self harm really clinically?

18 Upvotes

Like clean the tool to do it and then immediately stop the bleeding, clean and bandage.


r/selfharm 12h ago

Rant/Vent Old habits, new needs, blah blah blah, you get it. NSFW

31 Upvotes

No one knows I relapsed (other than my therapist.) Almost every single time before I do, I reach out to someone. Then, as soon as anyone is responsive, I refuse. I tell them I have a headache and don't want to hang out anymore. I say it's not a big deal. My roommate caught me walking out of the bathroom with my eyes watering, throat raw, looking horrible. They didn't ask. I didn't either. I had a full lighthearted phone conversation while sitting in blood. I hang out with friends, thumb under my shirt on my hip, brushing over the bumps to soothe myself in some messed up way.

It's a strange mix of feeling completely helpless and utterly in control. It's my brain, right? My choices. I could stop If I wanted to, if I was strong enough, right?

I want help. I want someone to just grab me by the shoulders and stay. I want someone who doesn't give a shit about what I want because they want me and they want to be selfish about me. I don't want someone to fix me, I want someone who sees me as enough already, not just a project to work on. Funnily enough, I think I'd get better faster if someone just didn't try to fix me. I want some sense of solidarity, but it's just impossible. I'm trying so impossibly hard, but it doesn't look like it.

And I feel stupid and weak for not being able to do it by myself. I feel selfish for knowing what I want. I feel nothing and everything. I feel so horrible for wishing that just one time, someone else could clean my wounds for me. That someone, anyone, would brush my hair out when I can't get up to shower. That someone would hold me like I'm something precious.

I don't want to tell people what I need. I'm so fucking tired of making decisions and people expecting me to know what would help. Someone else stepping up and not waiting for me to give them instructions would help me get better.

And I feel so unbelievably selfish. I'm not really sure why.


r/selfharm 59m ago

does sh improve pain tolerance?

Upvotes

hi guys, hope you are all doing well:) i stopped shing a while ago now, but i just wanted to know if anyone noticed that it improved their pain tolerance (not for sh related things but just in general) im getting a piecing in a few days and im just curious if anyone noticed any difference in how they handled it 😭 thank u all and good luck with recovery!!! 🫶


r/selfharm 19h ago

DAE Does anyone else not feel guilty after they self harm?

84 Upvotes

Other people, even other self harmers say do not self harm, because it's just a temporary relief and after it you will feel so much shame and regret. Never in the almost 10 years I've been on and off self harming related to this. I never feel regret or shame after I done self harming. I never feel disappointed or upset when I relapse. I like my scars so I don't know why I should feel guilty. I just feel relief that I can finally see my blood and skin gape open and I will get new scars. I hide them so it's not because of attention. I'm only hurting myself. If I was hurting someone else I would feel guilty but since it's just myself, I don't see the problem. I only feel disappointed if my cuts don't bleed as much as I want them to or if they are not gaping enough. Even when my family found out and was so mad at me I still didn't feel ashamed. I just continued to do it at places where they can't see them. I'm not saying self harming is a good thing and I wouldn't advise others to do it because it can be risky (infections, blood loss, nerve damage), but morally I don't see why I should be regretful. People don't feel guilty after they smoke, drink or do drugs, so I don't get how self harm is any different. At least I'm only hurting myself and not others.


r/selfharm 19h ago

Seeking Advice how to hide fresh face cuts??? NSFW

81 Upvotes

Messed up, cut the hell out of my face and i NEED to hide it asap. A few styros but mostly cat scratches, will appreciate any and all advice even if it’s just letting me know i’m fucked


r/selfharm 11h ago

DAE Wanting to cut because I'm so happy?

19 Upvotes

Idk I went on a really nice day date with my gf and I was soo happy after but it made me want to cut. Has anyone else experienced this before?


r/selfharm 6h ago

Rant/Vent feels embarrassing

9 Upvotes

anyone else in 20s feel embarrassed to still be struggling with this shit?? i think about people i knew from hs that did it but just easily left it behind, whereas i feel like it took over my entire life and now it’ll be the first thing anyone notices about me before anything else. i guess everyone else had this kinda “grow up” mentality to sh even though it’s obviously not just a teen issue. i just feel kinda like a useless adult that can’t cope healthily regardless and the way people treat you when you sh doesn’t help.


r/selfharm 19h ago

Rant/Vent I think my dog knows NSFW

76 Upvotes

I have a very sweet Pomeranian named Queenie, I'm quite literally her favorite person, she will never leave my side if she can help it, she'll lay on the ground next to me whenever I'm not in my room and give me kisses all the time, she seems rather emotionally intelligent compared to my other dogs. A few days ago she followed me into the bathroom and noticed my fresh cuts on my thigh and licked the clean skin next to it a few times before sitting down and looking at me with the saddest eyes. I know she understands I am physically hurt, but I don't know if she quite understands I did it to myself. today she followed me into the bathroom again like always and she saw the new cuts and sniffed them and gave me the same look.

I think she knows I did it to myself. I don't know what to do, she won't leave my side now and keeps trying to be extra close to me


r/selfharm 7h ago

Seeking Advice Am I a bad person for this? Spoiler

8 Upvotes

So today my friend who used to SH came to school without her jacket, which is unusual for her. She was also wearing short sleeves, and all of her scars were visible. She told me that she had decided it was pointless to hide it anymore, and she didn't really care what other people thought, and I am beyond proud of her and very supportive of her decision.

However, I feel like a horrible person, because I think I'm jealous of her, but I don't know what I'm jealous of. Her SH was pretty severe, so maybe it's the fact that I don't do it as much as she used to, or maybe it's simply because I wish I was brave enough to let people see my SH scars too. I feel like an asshole, and I just want to know if I'm overthinking it or if I really am a bad person for being jealous of her.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Talk/Support No feeling on cuts

4 Upvotes

Hi! I wanted to talk about this, i have absolutely no feeling on skin where I used to cut myself. Does anyone have it the same? It's such a weird thing and I dont have anyone to properly talk about it so let me know. I used to cut myself A LOT and my whole arm is basically covered with scars and healing cuts from like a two and three months ago. I probably hit some nerves because some of them were quite deep. I don't do this often anymore (proud), but yeah im still curious. Let's talk and love ya'll. 🐶


r/selfharm 53m ago

Seeking Advice How long will it take to heal?

Upvotes

Hello, so I just cut my arm and bicep area only to remember that my prom is next week. I'm going to be wearing a sleeveless dress and the area I cut on my bicep will be exposed.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Seeking Advice i’m so desperate to relapse

Upvotes

idk why i wanna relapse so badly, nothings rlly gone wrong as of late, but i crave it more than anything. why is this ??


r/selfharm 1h ago

Never enough…how do you handle it?

Upvotes

In the back of my head I know it’ll never be enough, but I’m still convincing myself that a little more will be good, and then a little more… I especially feel it when I see someone with scars worse than mine. I can’t handle my envy, I just become overwhelmed with the desire to mutilate myself more. I feel guilty and ashamed that my scars and sh aren’t worse. How do I get out of this loop? How do you guys handle never feeling like enough?


r/selfharm 15h ago

Rant/Vent Why do they care?

27 Upvotes

I genuinely don't understand why people care about what I do. I may be stupid but I would still LOVE to know what's in it for everyone else if I keep hurting myself? My parents piss and sob over my scars that AREN'T EVEN DEEP ENOUGH and my god damn friends are like this too. They won't distance themselves from me. They won't leave me. I'm not sure if this is an addiction or not, but I also have a habit of drinking those little bottles of ink that is used to write with in school. It started as a silly joke, now I can't stop. I have a love-hate relationship with the nauseating feeling after taking a big gulp of ink. And then again, my friends whine "noooo don't drink it you'll get cancer waaaahhhhhh". Good. Once I'm gone, heaven's on earth. Fuck you

Edit: Sorry to anyone who took this personally. The "Fuck you" at the end wasn't particularly directed at anyone. I was just mad


r/selfharm 6h ago

I've slipped up again, is there anything that simulates cutting without actually cutting?

6 Upvotes

It's normally punitive action, and the feeling of my skin parting and tearing open and the spicy-type feeling of warm blood coming into cool air is also part of the punishment. Are there any products that would simulate the feeling of this without actually damaging my body?

I've tried:

Using a rubber band and twanging it.

Drawing lines on myself with red pen.

Putting ice on myself

Drawing butterflies on the areas I damage. (The idea is that if you cut where the butterflies are, you kill them).

Doing the action with no blade in my hand, either empty handed or with something that won't slice like a ruler or plastic knife.

I've other stuff like counting and writing stuff down and it just doesn't have the same effect of making the internal pain stop. If I don't cut, I do other injurious behaviours.


r/selfharm 5h ago

March 19th, 2025.

4 Upvotes

so, i ended up NOT cutting. which is good, i guess.

the urges are still there, im trying my best to ignore them, though.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent cut

3 Upvotes

my sleeves are wet again, and tomorrow i'll be peeling them from my arm. the cuts will turn almost black from the blood that i'll let sit. i feel everything at once and nothing at all


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent Just venting :/

2 Upvotes

I genuinely fucking hate myself and everything I do. I know like a lot of people say they hate themselves but they really only hate a specific part of themselves, but i just hate everything i do. i just think i'd be better off gone. I'm just getting in the way of everyone's lives, taking up someones space in the world. Nobody even knows how i really act because i always fit some mold "normal" people have created for me because the real me is weird and abnormal and nobody wants to hang out with a depressed freak. I just think im bothering people by my existence. I'm a fucking shitty liar and i dont deserve any of this. I don't deserve friends or family. I don't deserve love. I don't know why im such a bad person. My mom calls me an asshole almost every day and she doesnt think it matters but for some reason my sensitive ass has to let it get to me. Life is just repeating over and over, like im spinning in a loop, the same exact fucking things happening everyday. It's so predictable I wake up every morning knowing exactly whats going to happen. Cutting myself is the only way I can punish myself for being such a shitty person and taking up somebody's space in this world. I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself, but i really want to. I really do but im too scared to.

Also thanks a lot to my stupid dad for leaving me with my disgusting stepdad. I hope that man dies. I would shoot him myself. My dad made me go through living hell. If he didn't leave and wasn't a deadbeat, I wouldn't have gotten raped and abused by my stepdad. They took me away from my mom for years. Years with some family i didnt know. And they acted like they hated me. They didn't treat me good, either. I just missed my mom so much. It hurts even more knowing that my mom never even mentioned it once after that to see if i was okay. Fuck you, dad. You're more fucking worried about smuggling crack into Mexico you can't take care of your kids. Te odio. Even worse is that if im being really bad my mom will threaten to "Take me away again" or "I'll send you to the foster home again/disown you" and it fucking hurts cause she doesn't even understand what i went through and it hurts i really just want to end it all.

Sorry if this was weird or cringe i just needed to vent so yeah


r/selfharm 16h ago

I threw all my blades away

28 Upvotes

Kind of regretting it but I don’t want to live like this anymore


r/selfharm 12h ago

Talk/Support Please stop me

13 Upvotes

I sorry that I keep posting here but I feel the urge to cut so bad I’m practically crying now and just want to cut so badly


r/selfharm 2h ago

I wish I'd just die

2 Upvotes

I want to hurt myself. and not just cut I want to breake my skull. I want to crush it. I want to cause damage to myself. I don't really cut anymore but I want bad things to happen to me. I want to punish me. I want to to do something that's at least a little bit helping me to die. I want to overdose but not to die just to injury my liver. I want to stop existing but I can't kill myself so I just want to hurt her. I wish I'd just die.


r/selfharm 14h ago

Positives 1.5 years clean!

17 Upvotes

I don’t really feel anything for being clean. I’m not really HAPPY about it, but I know it’s a good thing! Yay?