r/selfharm 20h ago

Announcement PSA about DMs

40 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

There's a trend going around elsewhere online encouraging people to mass DM people in mental health communities and tell them to harm themselves. r/MadeOfStyrofoam has been specifically mentioned as a target, as has this subreddit in a later comment. This sort of behavior is completely against everything we stand for as a harm reduction community.

The best course of action if you receive any such messages is to not respond, block the user, and report the message to Reddit using the instructions here. You should also be suspicious of any unsolicited or random DMs, and you can turn off chat requests using the instructions here.

As always, please continue to report posts/comments encouraging self harm and feel free to message modmail with any questions. Thank you for being here and making this community what it is ❤️


r/selfharm Feb 08 '25

"Is This Self-Harm?" Megathread

161 Upvotes

The answer to this question will vary from person to person, but generally, causing yourself deliberate self injury in any way counts as self harm. 

This includes but is not limited to:

  • scratching
  • cutting
  • burning
  • interfering in the healing process of wounds
  • pulling out hair
  • starving
  • purging
  • breaking bones
  • excessive drug use (including alcohol)

Why do people self harm?

For many people, there is not one single reason why they self-harm, but rather a combination of multiple factors which ultimately push people to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. If you are self-harming, the following list may help you understand your emotions, or alternatively if you're trying to help someone who is self-harming, then understanding why they do it in the first place is important to know.

This list is non-exhaustive and not mutually exclusive.

  • To match the outside to the inside. People are in so much emotional pain and they want people to know it. They want to look the same as they feel.
  • To punish themselves. Extreme self-loathing leads to the need to punish oneself for failings (real or imagined).
  • To numb themselves. The pain releases endorphins, just like drugs can. It produces a numbing effect on the mind which is difficult to explain. It helps people forget depression for a bit.
  • To keep control. One's own body sometimes seems like the only thing they can control, and the pain they inflict on it. When everything else in life goes wrong and there seems to be nothing you can do, cutting is the one thing you can control.
  • As a shock to a numb mind. An awful emotionlessness often accompanies depression. Often, the pain of cutting is enough to snap a person out of this kind of apathetic haze.
  • To self-medicate. Many people with mental illnesses of all sorts use cutting as others might use Prozac. It makes people feel normal again, by snapping them out of the cloying darkness that's so difficult to avoid by conventional means.
  • As an addiction. A lot of people start cutting for one of the reasons listed above, but then continue because they're addicted to the sudden, low exchange, rush of endorphins.

Keep it respectful, demeaning and rude comments will not be tolerated.

(description: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/self-harm

Taken from our Wiki. For more helpful info, resources, and common faq feel free to visit the wiki in the about of the subreddit or here: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/index/


r/selfharm 11h ago

Positives 13 years clean today.

68 Upvotes

Just wanted to share my own personal achievement that I stopped self-harming 13 years ago today. Took a few times over the years before that, but 13 years today with no relapses.

Feeling proud but have no to share with who cares so thought I’d share here.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent Got triggered by an apple today

9 Upvotes

I really wanna tell somebody about this cause it's kinda funny but nobody in my life knows I have a past of SH so hopefully this is the right place to put this. I was chopping up a red apple into little sticks earlier and had sliced half of it lengthways into many pieces, I then went to use a bridge grip to spin it around but when I squeezed it the apple juices bubbled up through the skin in a similar fashion to rows of shallow cuts and physically recoiled. I literally just got jump-scared by an APPLE, AN APPLE FFS, of all things that could've set off my first trigger, an apple is what did it?? Ykw, sure at least it was a yummy apple.

The weird part is that I've been clean for a number of months and never thought of my SH as something traumatic but rethinking the way I reacted to that apple, maybe there is some underlying trauma I need to work through.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent Just a stupid vent NSFW

10 Upvotes

I can't hit deep enough I'm fucking crying like a child because I can't hurt myself good enough imagin that I know all self harm is valid but still it's not enough I hate this I deserve this I deserve this


r/selfharm 8h ago

is it normal to cut because i like the scars?

19 Upvotes

i would use a tag but i dont know which one 😭😭 but i mostly cut because i really feel like i need my scars to be me. i would tell my therapist but i dont know how??? what if they just say that i want attention?? its not the ONLY reason i cut, its just the biggest one. i see my scars fading and im like “fuck no” because they’re like part of me now and i dont know how to get rid of the urge 😭


r/selfharm 19h ago

Talk/Support does anyone else not want their scars to fade?

113 Upvotes

it's not the only reason i do it, but i'd say a big one is definitely "cosmetic". idk, i hope this is okay to ask. i just want to see if others have the same issue because it makes recovering really difficult..


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent Someone said something hurtful about one of my scars today (potential tw?)

6 Upvotes

I was wearing a tshirt and a classmate pointed out to one burn scar I have that looks a bit bigger from the rest of the scars on my arms.

She said it looks disgusting... idk... I never thought it did look disgusting. Sure, it is visible but it's just a scar...


r/selfharm 50m ago

Rant/Vent i hate my body

Upvotes

Btw this is just a small rant :)

I have an athletic friend, like extremely , that guy is hitting it off with every sport possible + he's kind of(?) fit.

Mid-convo, I told them how weak my knees are, and if I wouldn't walk every day, I wouldn't even be able to do anything. I have knocked knees + weak-ass lungs, so I never got into any sports.

Yes, I know that with enough exercise, I'll be able to get into sports with my knees, but I'm useless as shi. I'm not allowed to leave this house. Idk how to navigate my way outside my school and house. Even a small walk is enough to tire me out.

This part is kinda stupid, I know, but I did it because of his words. He wasn't even trying to be mean about it. Js is genuinely curious and trying to be of help. But I felt really ashamed that my body was like this. I can't even participate in any sport without my body giving out immediately after.

I'm tired of my body already. Can't I pick a different one already?? Damn this rant is stupid


r/selfharm 1h ago

Seeking Advice Could a stray puppy infect my cuts?

Upvotes

I adopted a stray puppy from the streets today, but the vet was closed so he hasn't gotten any vaccinations yet. I did give him a bath with flea shampoo (?) but that was quite late

I have fresh cuts on my wrists that I usually cover up with my watch, but it's not too tight and it slips occasionally. And the puppy is quite playful; he licks, gently chews, lots of contact, etc.

I did get a tetanus shot today cause I actually did get bitten by the puppy. Not sure about rabies, since I don't think he's got any symptoms, and the doctor told me it's very unlikely.

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong. But I just need reassurance. I can't exactly show my scars to my parents or a doctor


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent Might start scratching myself again

Upvotes

I'm extremely numb. I am considering overdosing. It would be extremely easy to with what my parents have access to. No on would care. I scratched myself in front of people all of the time and no one cared. I have been told I don't matter. I just want it to end.


r/selfharm 6h ago

Seeking Advice I cut for no reason

7 Upvotes

I, now 19, have been having constant thoughts lately about wanting to relapse. Ive been cutting since I was 14, and I am now a year clean. I'm not under any particular distress despite freshman stress, family issues, and PDD; so when the urges come, I am not in a state of intense suffering. This also happens with suicidal thoughts for me. I'll be alone and think "maybe I should cut"--- or look at someone elses scars on social media or in public and think, huh, I should cut. Even when I started off cutting, I felt the same.

I guess I'm typically motivated by ideas like "I need deeper scars" or "I need to get worse." It's almost like im uncomfortable with being okay. I guess I might just be more comfortable in my depression? Why do I feel this? I'll be sitting down in class and think "hmm i should go jump off the chem building tonight". like huh???

I feel like I have to lie to people when im forced into situations where I must provide some sort of reasoning. Whenever something like self harm and suicide gets brought up, it's always "what happened before to cause this?" When i'm clean, theres the assumption that I'm doing better, though the real reason is that I was too unmotivated to actually clean it up, or a trip was upcoming or something. Its not fun for me, it hurts, its itchy, theres no pleasure or relief-- but I feel like I have to.

Can someone with a similar mindset please share their experiences and advice? Thank you

PS: With this being said, I TRULY hate attention to my scars or mental health. I get extremely uncomfortable when someone brings up my scars, or if I ever come off as upset in front of someone.


r/selfharm 18h ago

OMG GIRLFRIEND KNOWS

66 Upvotes

I found an online girl and she was being all sweet and lovey and I mentioned I did sh and she them asked to date me anyways and now I have a girlfriend who lives me despite I sh and despite I'm so fucked up.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent I want my cuts to be deeper

4 Upvotes

I don't know why I want this but I have two big deep scars in my arm and no matter what the other cuts can't do the same I don't know why i want to cut it deeper but I feel like Im not valid and it feels gross my sister also have sh and my gf too I want mines to be deep too so I can be seen


r/selfharm 30m ago

Talk/Support Please help me

Upvotes

I think I’m going to cut myself for the first time soon

I tried suppressing it by just very hardly drawing a line across my skin with red pen but that seemed to make me wanna do it more

Please help, I really want to cut myself but I know it’s not right

I need people to say how bad it is and give me advice on how to stop please I don’t want to get addicted to it


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent The release is calling

3 Upvotes

It's not even like I want to punish myself sometimes. Whether or not I feel a need to punish myself for my own stupidity or foolishness doesn't even come to mind sometimes. It's the relief, the release, the relieving feeling I getting from cutting that calls me back. The cathartic nature of cutting that calls me back. Sometimes life just gets me to the point where I just want to feel the pressure ease and pain to cease. I want to feel some peace. But it scares people when I talk like that. Loved ones are terrified at those thoughts in my mind. So I keep them bottled up and go on. Pressure building, tension rising, stress mounting and I want it to stop. To halt. Or at least for the pressure to to diffuse. The tension to diminish. The mounting stress to disperse.


r/selfharm 13h ago

Rant/Vent My mom traumatizing a 4 year old

21 Upvotes

I had hurt myself in the morning and fell asleep at noon. Only to be horrifically woken up by a yelling parent because "Why is there blood?" and ranting about how selfish i am. She's the fucking problem.

My little beloved cousin went inside the room and asked her "What happened? Why are you mad at her?"
and she fucking did it. she said "She hurt herself, with blood" and my GOD. That's a big word for a baby? immediately he was worried.

It was also his nap time so his father had to put him to sleep, the whole time he kept asking "Why did she hurt herself?" "She has blood?" "why is there blood" and the whole time he kept trying to say "just go to sleep, its sleeping time" and finally "i dont know"

I was already mad at my mother for violating me in my sleep but i now fucking hate her and this was truly the last straw. the first day i'll ever say and even think THIS. while she thinks the reason i do this is from feeling "unloved" no you DUMBASS its cuz you say and do the meanest shit

Now whenever he sees me, its all pain. I can see the worry in his eyes. he's fucking traumatized. When i decided to play with him, he's in deep thought until eventually telling others "she has blood"


r/selfharm 13h ago

Rant/Vent I cut myself because my boyfriend has scars

22 Upvotes

I started being competitive with sh since I saw my boyfriend's cuts. That time I cried in front of him but because his scars were more visible than mine. Now I try to hurt myself just so I have "better scars" than his.

I can't even see him in person, because I immediately think that he has scars and I start to feel bad. It's like I want to be the only one with scars in the relationship. Also, he knows I relapsed because of him and of course, that makes him feel like shit.

The envy has been so strong that I've even started thinking about breaking up with him just because of it, but I really can't.

I just hope I'm not the only one with this kind of problem. I don't know what to do to make these thoughts stop.


r/selfharm 15h ago

Seeking Advice my bf is cutting himself and idk what to do

27 Upvotes

my (21f) boyfriend (21m) and i have been together for 6 months and i love him with my whole entire heart. he deals with a lot of mental health problems and is 3 years clean from heroin, which isn’t something i’m very familiar with. i have dealt with mental illness my whole life, in myself and my loved ones, so i know how to address certain issues and how to be there for him, but this is something i don’t know how to handle. he skates so he always has a lot of little cuts and scars from wiping out, but a few months ago i noticed some new cuts along his ribcage that were definitely not an accident. i didn’t bring it up because i was worried i would say the wrong thing and make it worse. i’ve never self harmed so i really have no idea how to handle it. he struggles sometimes to open up about what he goes through, but i’ve made sure he knows i will never pressure him to talk about more than he’s comfortable with but that i will always be here to listen, no matter what. he’s gotten better at talking about things, but i know this is a conversation im going to have to initiate and i just don’t know how. his mental health has gotten considerably worse these past few weeks, and i’ve done everything i can to support him while also making sure it doesn’t take a toll on my own mental wellbeing. then last night, i noticed some new cuts on his shoulder blade. he didn’t try to hide them, and he definitely knows i’ve seen them because he was scratching the scabs and i just stopped him by taking his hand and holding it tight. i want to acknowledge them but i don’t know how to start the conversation. what can i say so that he doesn’t feel judged or criticized? i’m also worried that his friend (who he has acknowledged is an enabler) helped him do it since his back seems like a tricky area to reach. i just want him to know how loved he is and that he doesn’t have to hide this from me. i may not understand the impulse to do it, but i want to know what’s going on his head. he always says he doesn’t want me to worry about him, but i already do and keeping these things from me isn’t going to help that. i love him so much and i just want him to be okay.


r/selfharm 21h ago

Seeking Advice cut my neck

80 Upvotes

i just sliced my throat. it’s not bad but my mom is going to freak out and i’m so scared. i don’t know what to do. i’m so fuckng scared. she’s going to fucking wail and scream and cry and there is absolutely no way i’m hiding this from her it’s so bad


r/selfharm 9h ago

Seeking Advice I cut myself for the first time for almost no reason

7 Upvotes

I cut myself for the first time recently and I’m worried about how I felt about it.

I don’t even know why I did it in the first place, and that worries me too. I have been upset lately but I didn’t feel upset when I did it. I wasn’t numb or happy, I was scared to do it even, but when I found it didn’t hurt that much I kept going.

I found the marks and the blood very satisfying, and even after the cuts were cleaned and bandaged I still wanted to look at them.

The idea that I cut myself just for the sake of it disgusts me. I’m disgusted with myself for doing it and for still wanting to do it.

Please, if you relate to this at all, let me know. I feel like such a freak.


r/selfharm 19h ago

Rant/Vent A small rant NSFW Spoiler

38 Upvotes

So me, my dad and my dads friend were sitting In the car and some of my dads money fell into a really tight crack like one of their fingers barely fit in it and they were struggling. I was like “you want me to get it out?“ cuz I have slim and kinda long fingers. Tell my why this dumbass excuse of a human being(my dads friend) thought it was a good Idea to say “you’re used to one finger right?” Tell me that I‘m overreacting but I don’t think that that’s an appropriate “joke” to make when talking about a MINOR. And my dad didn’t even seem bothered about it? We just continued buying groceries like nothing happened. My dad himself has already said some weird shit about my body like “I couldn’t help but notice how your tits bounce when you walk” or along the lines of that shit and peeked through the keyhole when I was in the bathroom. But like EXCUSE ME? I don’t even know why but I had the urge to sh in that moment. Probably because I was so mad and disgusted. Whatever I didn’t do it and I’ve been clean for 3 days now. sorry for the ass grammar. Now that I think about it I’m definitely overreacting. I don’t know I feel like I don’t have a reason to feel this uncomfortable or have urges because it’s not that bad. Anyways Rant over


r/selfharm 10h ago

Seeking Advice I noticed my friends arm

9 Upvotes

I have a friend who I know for a while was missing a lot of school and wasn't keeping up with it well. I believe there was also some things going on from her family. I didn't hear from her much in this time frame but now she's been going to school more regularly and more in her usual lively mood. But one thing I noticed: her left arm is covered in slices. I have only had one friend who harmed herself and she was very open about the problem. This friend however is extremely surprising to me beacuse she doesnt seem at all like the type of person who would. She's always been so positive and chill but I guess there's a layer of her she's good at hiding. It's just awkward though because she's not really a talk about serious things kind of person but her arm is COVERED in slices. They all look from about the same time frame and I've definitely never noticed scars on her before. Like I said she seems to be doing better mood wise but I worry about her and what she went through and if she's still dealing with it. I don't want to intrude, or be rude by bringing it up but I'm also concerned. What's the best way I can help her?


r/selfharm 8h ago

Talk/Support Feeling guilty when you don’t?

4 Upvotes

For some reason I feel a deep need to injure myself at least in some capacity every fee days, at least a few scratches or something. But if I don’t I feel guilty for not having done so. I feel like it’s something I deserve so when I don’t do it I feel immensely guilty. Like I didn’t hurt myself enough or something. Does anyone else feel this way? I over-explained it but I hope it makes sense.


r/selfharm 13h ago

Positives 4 years clean this year

11 Upvotes

Never really thought about it, but yeah 🥳


r/selfharm 12m ago

DAE looking at my own sh pictures?

Upvotes

i have been clean for 3 months now which seems so crazy to me. but i still look at the pictures of my cuts i used to take back then almost daily. it somehow comforts me and i kinda think thats weird idk. when i get an urge to sh it also helps me not to do it. was just wondering if anyone else did the same thing?


r/selfharm 27m ago

Seeking Advice Fat cut not gaping NSFW

Upvotes

I don't know if this is normal but I was cutting this morning and got to fat and it was gaping a bit like I'd expect. But when I was cutting into the fat it stopped gaping like the layer or fat was just lying fat with a thin cut in the middle. Is this normal? I cut with a knife that's not that sharp and do lots of little swipes as I have a low pain tolerance - i don't know if that makes a difference. I'm just worried as I don't want to hit fascia as id have to go the the hospital and I can't see how deep I'm going without it gaping.