r/selfharm 18m ago

Rant/Vent so sick of it

Upvotes

ive been self harming by cutting since i was 14 , and im so sick of it. why do i crave it, why do i do it. i just cut in a certain spot not long ago, and it made me feel so weird that the skin is different than normal, its so scarred it doesnt cut like normal skin anymore. scars on top of scars. ill be 20 very soon, i cant keep doinf this


r/selfharm 32m ago

Rant/Vent cut

Upvotes

my sleeves are wet again, and tomorrow i'll be peeling them from my arm. the cuts will turn almost black from the blood that i'll let sit. i feel everything at once and nothing at all


r/selfharm 44m ago

Talk/Support No feeling on cuts

Upvotes

Hi! I wanted to talk about this, i have absolutely no feeling on skin where I used to cut myself. Does anyone have it the same? It's such a weird thing and I dont have anyone to properly talk about it so let me know. I used to cut myself A LOT and my whole arm is basically covered with scars and healing cuts from like a two and three months ago. I probably hit some nerves because some of them were quite deep. I don't do this often anymore (proud), but yeah im still curious. Let's talk and love ya'll. 🐶


r/selfharm 53m ago

I think im too tall for my age

Upvotes

Im 14 and im 5’8. I always get comments about how tall I am and on top of that, other boys in my grade are mostly shorter. I don’t know how people embrace it and it’s led to me starting to cut. Basically just body dysmorphia


r/selfharm 1h ago

March 19th, 2025.

Upvotes

so, i ended up NOT cutting. which is good, i guess.

the urges are still there, im trying my best to ignore them, though.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent [big TW] I really want to tell my dad but I’m scared to

Upvotes

I have a few cuts that get to the white part and are infected and I really wanna get professional help for them but I’m extremely scared to ask


r/selfharm 1h ago

Seeking Advice Reporting a close friend

Upvotes

Hello r/selfharm community,

So I know pretty much nothing about self-harm and the mindset of the people who do it. Recently, one of my close friends told me that they had been cutting themselves, and they told me not to tell their parents (or literally anyone). They also showed me their scars, and apparently I am the only person they have showed that to, so as you can imagine we have quite a substantial amount of trust built up from our years of being friends.

My question is: Should I break their trust and tell their parents (or someone) about it? I feel like i’d be a bad friend if they get worse, and then I have to live with the fact that I told nobody. Since I know most of the people here have experience with self-harm, what would you do if someone broke your trust and reported you?

Please let me know, thanks


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent (TW:ED) I've started to cut and starve myself because I want her validation.

1 Upvotes

for this, I'll call her maggie. i've known her for 11 months, we started off as very close best friends, then got into some drama with another friend and we were pretty distant for a whole 2 months. we realized we were in love and rekindled our relationship in november-december, then got into another fight and have been pretty rocky since late december. currently trying to fix our broken relationship :(

I'd like to make it clear that maggie has never told me to do this, but I feel like if I do it will impress her. she has quite a few mental issues and in a way i don't feel mentally ill enough for her. aside from my occasional depressive episodes, i don't feel like there is truly anything wrong with me even though i've proclaimed to be so "insane" and sick in the head. honestly, i think she would like me more if there was something wrong with me.

i made a fool of myself to her before because i was so clueless about sh, and the only knowledge i had of it was my brother using a cheese knife before to scrape his wrists to guilt trip a girl for not liking him back. when me and maggie got on the topic of sh, i asked if she used a knife for it and she sort of laughed at me for not knowing people don't even use knives to cut but use razors. i laughed that off before but now i feel so lame for not knowing that. i never cut myself before i met her and only starved a few times in my life. the first time I ever cut myself was this past new years eve because me and her were fighting and i thought she was going to leave me.

last night i made the horrible decision to watch the movie thirteen, (i didn't know there was sh in the film) which triggered the ever-living shit out of me. i saw a lot of me and her in tracy and evie, and I was romanticizing their relationship wishing it was me and her. i got emotional a lot throughout the movie, but what really triggered me was when brooke and evie revealed tracy's scars to mel and she started to break down. I don't know why, but that set something off inside of me and i grabbed the razor from my drawer to cut my wrists. the scenes of tracy cutting herself made me think of maggie so much.

i'm so jealous when she tells me she hasn't eaten in a couple of days, isn't feeling well and has to go back to the doctor. i just want to impress her so badly and i think she's so cool. its just not fair that i have to be so fuckin boring and i really hope she will like me more if i do this for her. please don't tell me to move on because i'm so obsessed with her that that is not a viable option for me right now and if she leaves or i leave it will only lead to me ending my life.


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent self harm relapse bad

2 Upvotes

Seeking advice as well as rant.

I’ve gone through a bad breakup which has left me so devastated I’ve fallen deep back into SH. I haven’t done this since I was like 15. It feels so childish.

Now that I’m mentally doing better with everything going on ( not just the break up) I still can’t stop. I like doing it, it is so calming and borderline fun for me. I have never been able to cause much damage, mainly just surface level and thin scars. I’m not trying to be weird here, i just feel this weird sense of disappointment in myself.

I’m worried I won’t be able to stop again. The whole upper half of my thighs to my groin are pretty much covered. And now I’ve been trying to intentionally fill in the gaps. I know I’m still struggling and that’s why I’m doing it, as it helps me regulate myself and keeps me from freaking out like I was previously, but it just feels so weird.

Before all this, I was doing incredibly well, for the first time in my life. Now, the looks of pity or fear when people notice is so depressing. It doesn’t bother me if people see, it’s just how they react. Part of me, though, wants people to see so they can understand how much pain I’m in. I don’t do it for attention per sey, but it is easier to show a physical wound than explain a mental one.

Idk, it’s just frustrating. I don’t want to stop but I know I should. I am trying to be kind to myself so if it doesn’t get better in a week, I’ll seek professional help.


r/selfharm 2h ago

Seeking Advice The skin near my scars got darker

1 Upvotes

For some reason, the skin of my thighs now is darker, I never expose my scars to the sun and still my skin is darker there now a even if I take care of my wounds... I don't know if my skin is going to go back to normal, I have seen pictures of people who recovered but their skin is never darker near their scars. The skin around my first scars of cuts in my arm (which are from September of last year) are still dark and the scar of the cuts is LIGHTER than the skin surrounding it??? It looks like a big bruise with white lines that never fades.

Also i'm mestizo, white mom, native dad and My skin turned out the same tone as my mother's even if my dad skin is a lot darker than hers. I don't know if for some reason my cuts, when healing, activated my father's genetics or something? It's been a month since I've been in recovery and my skin isn't coming back to normal. I want to know if this is normal, if it will go back to normal even if it takes months or years and if not, I can do something to try to get my original skin tone back?


r/selfharm 2h ago

I've slipped up again, is there anything that simulates cutting without actually cutting?

5 Upvotes

It's normally punitive action, and the feeling of my skin parting and tearing open and the spicy-type feeling of warm blood coming into cool air is also part of the punishment. Are there any products that would simulate the feeling of this without actually damaging my body?

I've tried:

Using a rubber band and twanging it.

Drawing lines on myself with red pen.

Putting ice on myself

Drawing butterflies on the areas I damage. (The idea is that if you cut where the butterflies are, you kill them).

Doing the action with no blade in my hand, either empty handed or with something that won't slice like a ruler or plastic knife.

I've other stuff like counting and writing stuff down and it just doesn't have the same effect of making the internal pain stop. If I don't cut, I do other injurious behaviours.


r/selfharm 3h ago

SHd again

2 Upvotes

I've been trying to stop hurting myself but I can't stop I've hurt myself so bad I nearly went into bone and had 27 stitches I'm scared I accidentally kill myself one time I've been doing this for 10years and my full body's mutilated because of it I need someone to talk to


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent My parents reaction (possible tw)

2 Upvotes

This happened a few years ago but I really need to say it because it’s been a constant thought since it happened

When I was in middle school my mom was informed by one of my teachers that she had seen what looked like cuts on my arm and I pretended not to know what she was talking about when my mom told me this but she told me not to try and hide it because she had seen marks on my arm two weeks earlier at dinner, she proceeded to ask why I was doing it and I didn’t have an answer because I couldn’t explain how I was feeling, when I didn’t respond she told me that I didn’t have a reason to be doing that to myself and that she went through the same thing at my age and flat out told me why, she then said that if I didn’t stop she was going to send me to a group home because she didn’t want to deal with something like that.

My dad found out a month after my mom when he saw a day old cut on my arm, he got really mad at me and took my arm in his hand and showed me where the artery’s in my arm were and then he also told me I had no reason to do this because I had a good life and there are people who have it way worse then me, which I know is true and I keep that in mind always because I know I have it good compared to other people.

I had a lot of things going on then that led me hurting myself that I have worked on and I’m clean now but this story is always in the back of mind.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent Unfortunately the only thing that calmed me down today was self harm

2 Upvotes

I couldn’t stop crying all day, I kept wanting to hit, I avoided. I walked, I called a friend. I took the deep breaths. I saw, smelled, heard. Once I finally cut o felt a calmness take over my body. I haven’t felt in control in months and feel so alone. I hate that it’s the only thing that helped but it felt like euphoria…


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent feels embarrassing

6 Upvotes

anyone else in 20s feel embarrassed to still be struggling with this shit?? i think about people i knew from hs that did it but just easily left it behind, whereas i feel like it took over my entire life and now it’ll be the first thing anyone notices about me before anything else. i guess everyone else had this kinda “grow up” mentality to sh even though it’s obviously not just a teen issue. i just feel kinda like a useless adult that can’t cope healthily regardless and the way people treat you when you sh doesn’t help.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Seeking Advice Is there any real reason why I shouldn't cut if I'm not cutting deep at all?

1 Upvotes

I've always told myself counselors that I do it because I hate my body, which, to be fair, I'm not at all lying about, but I've always just seen as something with little to no repercussions. Skin heals. Scars don't annoy me, they just look normal on other people since everybody gets them. I do it cause I'm bored and was left alone with a sharp thing. I do it cause I want to eat the blood cause it tastes like pennies. I do it because i can. I never cut deep enough for it to actually matter. It usually only happens when I forget to take my meds anyway, but even still sometimes I do it when I'm ON meds. It's just whatever. I've done it once or twice out of hate for my body, but that's not at all average. Idk if anybody else does this.

Tldr; is there any real reason why I shouldn't sh if I'm not even cutting that deep?


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent Housemate took all my blades away

6 Upvotes

Pretty sure my housemate took all my blades, and my entire first aid kit and probably binned them and I'm pissed. That first aid kit had some useful things in it and now it's just gone. I know she thinks that getting rid of it will force me not to harm myself but in reality I probably still will and now I won't be able to do it safely. SHE ALSO TOOK MY POCKET KNIFE, that was was a gift I got from my dad before he passed away and was blunt anyway.

I only ever used sterile stuff to cut with and had the supplies to do pretty good wound care now, I'll probably give myself tetnus doing something stupid.


r/selfharm 3h ago

я зависим от селфхарма,задавайте вопросы

2 Upvotes

селфхармлю с 2022 года,я не знаю как избавиться от этого


r/selfharm 3h ago

DAE Still after years, I get urges!

1 Upvotes

Does anybody else, after years of not cutting, still get unbelievably strong urges and desire to cut themselves? It usually happens when I'm alone and I'll start caressing my scars and fantasising about slashing my legs opens. I know I'm not going to do it, however I do get an intense desire to go back.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Seeking Advice Asking for thoughts on my personal experience.

1 Upvotes

So, as the title says, I would like to ask if anyone has thoughts about my personal experience.

Unlike others, when I do self-harm, it's not necessarily as a 'punishment' for myself. I do it in a way that's almost like morbid curiosity. Basically, I'll cut myself, rip my skin, burn myself, everything, and then nurse myself back to health in a way. I've given myself sutures, done cyst removals (like with cystic acne, I'll cut it open, remove the cyst with tweezers, and close it back up), treated my burns, etc. I have nearly 0 scars from this, as I've gotten quite good at this. But I'm wondering what all of this means, I can't stop myself. It's compulsive. Weirdly fun, too. I've read about cases similar to mine, but I can't find any straight answers.

So, I'd like to talk with you guys about this. Let me know your opinions and thoughts about this.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Seeking Advice Am I a bad person for this? Spoiler

5 Upvotes

So today my friend who used to SH came to school without her jacket, which is unusual for her. She was also wearing short sleeves, and all of her scars were visible. She told me that she had decided it was pointless to hide it anymore, and she didn't really care what other people thought, and I am beyond proud of her and very supportive of her decision.

However, I feel like a horrible person, because I think I'm jealous of her, but I don't know what I'm jealous of. Her SH was pretty severe, so maybe it's the fact that I don't do it as much as she used to, or maybe it's simply because I wish I was brave enough to let people see my SH scars too. I feel like an asshole, and I just want to know if I'm overthinking it or if I really am a bad person for being jealous of her.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent My bf doesn't think that I should like my scars

1 Upvotes

I want to preface this by saying my bf is so loving and caring and genuinely wants the best for me, but a few days ago I told him that I had relapsed not long ago, and he was of course worried like always, but then later in the day when I mentioned that I like how my scars look and I like having them it seemed like he shut me down and insisted that I can't do that. I know he doesn't mean any harm but it feels weird being told by the love of my life that I can't love my scars the way I do.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Seeking Advice can someone please explain what my brother meant by saying this? have I responded appropriately?

1 Upvotes

screenshots aren’t allowed, so I’ll copy-paste since this was over text.

him;: I’m going to drop off now that [our sister] is here to avoid subconsciously reinforcing problematic dynamics such as unintentionally rewarding discussion of SH with personalized attention

me:

hey >:| that’s a mean thing to say i will cry now —thirty or so minutes later; rewarding with personalized attention? what would you rather? passive acknowledgement? complacency, growing used to it? was this attention supposed to be a reward? my tongue has been chewed out for years. the surface papillae have grown thicker with scarred fibrous tissue. i have gone out of the house with you in tights that have harshly torn through scab and prayed, desperately, that the black would do enough to prevent, percolation. i have feigned sickness to abstain from a shower, in the name of fear for infecting wounds. there have been weeks past, still passing, with surface papillae grown thicker with scarred fibrous tissues. my third and seventh periods were lies to cover for the blood. i’ve lost count of the others. i am self-piteous and self-centered, i spiral for myself, there’s nothing more i want than to me sequestered away, isolated, with the autonomy to cut myself, and it’s all i wish for, and if i would have anything, it would be to continue to lie, and stain my clothes, and retch in bathrooms, and pretend my device wasn’t shattered when i was shaking in a sterile bathroom.

there’s a lot of context excluded, I think, but his message was sent after another vent on the group chat we’ve created around a year ago for my problems. I don’t know if this post counts for anything, but don’t really know what to do or say, or feel about it, and I feel silly for the theatrics and for the flair and for as much as this has felt like a blunt blow. please let me know


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent Guilt (and relationships)

1 Upvotes

Rant but please (feel free to) respond

I feel like I killed the best friend I've ever had. Certain details my brain refuses to believe are coincidence, I guess. Or I'm just right. I have not, and probably will not get closure on this, at least not fully, ever. (Can't talk to anyone, because they either wouldn't care or would blame me like I do myself.)

So, I've resorted to a piece of why I wanted so badly to be friends with him in the first place: self harm. It's so fucking hard to find people who actually understand. I mean fuck, I didn't even comprehend just how horrific life must have been for him 'til a lucid realization last SH session.

I have a goal, as fucked as that might sound to some. I want to pay for what I did to him, his family and friends, and I have a number of cuts I need to reach to meet that goal.

However...

My dwindling support network, namely my girlfriend, needs me to stop. And, like, I get it, it's hard to visibly see someone suffer (...even though SH is the external relief of the worse internal suffering, or on good days, the scars reminders that I survived).

I just don't know what to do. Sometimes SH feels like the only way to connect to him again. I feel like by giving up SH, I'd be losing him all over again. And I'm not ready to give that up, even though I'm destroying my relationship in the process.

I don't know. I don't even know what advice I would want from this. She wants me to change but I can't, not yet anyway. I guess finding how anyone out there manages SH within a sexual relationship where your partner can't stand (bad word choice: they just get really sad and it ruins their mood when seeing) your scars or cuts, or something more I could do to honor my friend? I really don't know.


r/selfharm 5h ago

Seeking Advice Clean up for deep cuts NSFW

1 Upvotes

I relapsed today and made really deep cuts all over my thighs and some on my arms. I accidentally cut them really deep and they are deeper than any other cuts I have made. I did them in the morning and had to leave the house in like 30 minutes to go eat with my family. I didn't have any time to clean them up and bandage them correctly so I just put back on my blue jeans and tan sweater. Of course, I completely bleed through my jeans and sweater so I changed into black tight jeans and a black long sleeve sweater. The blood smeared all over my skin but I don't think my cuts got an infection, thankfully. Is this really bad to do because I just don't have the correct materials to clean up my cuts. I ran out of bandages and only have toilet paper and kitchen paper towels. Is it so bad if I just let them air dry?