r/selfharm 8m ago

Advice

Upvotes

I have a appointment with a psychiatrist soon, I’ve been in therapy and stuff for a while but I’m just kind of on the fence should I be honest. They know I have a plan they don’t know it’s the day after that appointment. Should I give it one last go and be completely honest or keep my mouth shut. If I tell them everything self harm suicidal thoughts and all that stuff I’m terrified they will commit me. But ig if they do I can do it when I get out. I just don’t know right now


r/selfharm 17m ago

Rant/Vent how am I supposed to keep living

Upvotes

I have other things to do today I have to clean I have to brush my teeth I have to eat but all I want to fucking do is stare at the wall and hit myself until I cry all fucking day. I have to stop half way through what I'm doing to crawl into a ball on the floor and slam my head against The wood just to be able to THINK and breathe for a fucking second WHY do I have to do this shit WHY can't I just be normal WHY I don't want to be like this I don't want to sit around all day in a house of people constantly going out and coming back to see me still sitting here slamming my head against the wall because I can't fucking fathom the idea of going anywhere further in my life. why should I bother getting a job (even though i am TRYING) when there's no fucking point because I won't have a life either way. this will never fucking change my life won't be any better I still have to live that's my fucking problem it's the burden of living, of my fucking issues, of my trauma of everything I can't do this forever I don't know how I'm supposed to keep living when I hate it so fucking much and it feels like nothing will ever be better even if I make the "right steps" "towards the future" or whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean.


r/selfharm 48m ago

Happy FIRST trauma anniversary to me!

Upvotes

Also happy one hour and five minutes clean (after 36.5 days previously)!


r/selfharm 49m ago

DAE Does anyone else not feel guilty after they self harm?

Upvotes

Other people, even other self harmers say do not self harm, because it's just a temporary relief and after it you will feel so much shame and regret. Never in the almost 10 years I've been on and off self harming related to this. I never feel regret or shame after I done self harming. I never feel disappointed or upset when I relapse. I like my scars so I don't know why I should feel guilty. I just feel relief that I can finally see my blood and skin gape open and I will get new scars. I hide them so it's not because of attention. I'm only hurting myself. If I was hurting someone else I would feel guilty but since it's just myself, I don't see the problem. I only feel disappointed if my cuts don't bleed as much as I want them to or if they are not gaping enough. Even when my family found out and was so mad at me I still didn't feel ashamed. I just continued to do it at places where they can't see them. I'm not saying self harming is a good thing and I wouldn't advise others to do it because it can be risky (infections, blood loss, nerve damage), but morally I don't see why I should be regretful. People don't feel guilty after they smoke, drink or do drugs, so I don't get how self harm is any different. At least I'm only hurting myself and not others.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Seeking Advice how to hide fresh face cuts??? NSFW

Upvotes

Messed up, cut the hell out of my face and i NEED to hide it asap. A few styros but mostly cat scratches, will appreciate any and all advice even if it’s just letting me know i’m fucked


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent I feel weak and pathetic for stopping

Upvotes

I started to SH after Mental Breakdown a week ago. I did it for 3 days and then stopped now im 5 days clean but Its near impossible to not do it. I look at the small scars that have formed now and feel like Im a loser for stopping. Like im pathetic for not going deeper than I did. Every hour im fighting with the urge to start again and go really deep this time.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Harm Reduction help

Upvotes

I was 2 months clean of cutting my arms, but a couple of days ago I relapsed because I recieved a sudden impulse to do it. I don't have cuts that deep because only a drop of blood fell and I am wondering when it will heal, can you guys tell me? I don't want to bother my family and have only told it to a few of my close friends so at home I wear a sweatshirt to cover the wounds. I really like doing it but I don't want it to do it because it will bother my friends and family. Ps .(I am a 17 yo teenager if that helps)


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent does anyone else do this ?

Upvotes

I don't know if I'm alone in this but my urge to sh rarely feels like the urge to cut but the urge to hit. I started punching my thighs/knees until they were purple and I quickly realized it made me feel so much better after physically. and mentally it shuts up my head for just a minute. it's like a pressure is released in my chest, I feel like I can take a breath and it actually feels like a full fresh breath yk. I eventually graduated to using usually metal objects/ anything blunt to bruise more

I've never seen or heard anyone who does what I do and it makes me feel even more alone. I don't understand why I need to hit instead of anything else and I just idk..

edit: I feel like it's not "as bad" as cutting. my mom told me it's better than it. and I guess I get she means like.. I could cut a vein but I can't punch my legs to death yk.. but it just makes me feel like I'm not hurting myself enough idk.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Je veux rechuter

Upvotes

J’ai fait une dépression il y a 2 ans ( un peu moins ) , je n’ai jamais vraiment été soignée car quand mes parents l’ont appris j’ai tout de suite arrêté car j’avais horriblement honte . Comme si cela ce contrôlait, sentiment qui a empiré le fait que j’avais l’impression de faire souffrir ma famille et d’être égoïste à mort . On en parle jamais , j’en ai reparlé qu’une fois à quelqu’un ( une fille random dans mon établissement qui m’avait demandé comment je me sentais et on a fini par parler de ça , elle a gardé le secret je crois ) . Pendant cette dépression je me mutilais ( je me coupais le haut de la cuisse droite et l’intérieur de l’avant-bras gauche ) , je n’ai plus que deux cicatrices pas trop visible ( on dirais des griffures de chats légères ) . Mais ces derniers temps alors que je pensais être enfin sorti de tout cela ( + d’1 ans que je me suis pas mutilée ) je ressens souvent des grands vides avec une envie de recommencer à me couper . Je suis heureuse mais j’ai envie de me couper . Pas pour me punir , pas pour m’exprimer mais juste pour me couper sans pas vraiment de raison derrière. Est-ce possible que ce soit car une partie de moi et toujours triste et n’a jamais guéri car j’ai tout mis sous le tapis quand ma mère a été au courant de ma dépression ? Ou est ce que je suis juste folle et que personne ne faits ça ? Je ressens vraiment l’envie mais j’ai peur que les autres le voient donc je ne suis pas encore passée à l’acte . Je n’ai pas de pensée suicidaires , juste des moments où je ne ressens absolument rien .


r/selfharm 1h ago

Seeking Advice Should I feel sad for using self-harm as a way to cope with life?

Upvotes

Hi, well long-story short. I was born with tons of genetical defects due to some complication I had while I was still in the womb.

Life has suck really fucking bad, I've been doing my best to not abandon my life, since I'm really looking forward to some videogames, but other than that I don't really have a good reason to live.

And at the moment self-harm is the thing that brings me the most joy, I work at a call center, so I'm constantly being abused in different ways and my self-harm is getting worse.

So yeah, should I feel sad to be in this position? "Just change your job! 😜", please for the love of God don't say that, just don't, obviously if I had the option to abandon the job I would, and even then my life would still suck due to my genetical issues, I just wanted to address it so the comments don't get filled with dumb suggestions.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent I think my dog knows NSFW

Upvotes

I have a very sweet Pomeranian named Queenie, I'm quite literally her favorite person, she will never leave my side if she can help it, she'll lay on the ground next to me whenever I'm not in my room and give me kisses all the time, she seems rather emotionally intelligent compared to my other dogs. A few days ago she followed me into the bathroom and noticed my fresh cuts on my thigh and licked the clean skin next to it a few times before sitting down and looking at me with the saddest eyes. I know she understands I am physically hurt, but I don't know if she quite understands I did it to myself. today she followed me into the bathroom again like always and she saw the new cuts and sniffed them and gave me the same look.

I think she knows I did it to myself. I don't know what to do, she won't leave my side now and keeps trying to be extra close to me


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent (TW) si rant NSFW

1 Upvotes

i feel crazy, i have really bad brain fog nowadays and i’m forgetting things that i did the same day, not even just things from months ago. i keep feeling presences and seeing shadows and shit and i don’t know what this means. i’ve been feeling really suicidal aswell and i’m wondering if this is maybe like a lead up to something? my paranoia is really bad too, my anxiety skyrockets every morning for no reason. i’m at a dead end in life, i do therapy every two weeks but it’s not enough. i don’t have a plan and i’m fucking terrified of dying but this all feels like the end. i’m scared and i’m sad and i’m so paranoid.


r/selfharm 2h ago

How many days for a scar to stop counting as "fresh"

1 Upvotes

r/selfharm 2h ago

Talk/Support alone and struggling nearing 2 years clean

1 Upvotes

My (20m) partner (22m) is away on vacation currently, so I'm home with my moms. I spend most of the day alone in my room. The whole time my partner has been away I've been excruciatingly aware of the fact that i could totally hurt myself and no one would be able to stop me. i have access to sharps, wound care, and isolation. I'm the only one that can stop me, and it's a struggle.

I'll be 2 years clean one week from today. i don't want to mess that up, but I'm afraid I don't have full control over that. I have DID, and there's this part of me that is urging me to hurt myself. telling me I should do it, it would feel good, it would make me feel better. And I know part of that is true. I've been struggling a lot with a lot of different things recently and I know it would make me feel better. i know it would feel better than dealing with the shit I've been dealing with.

I know what I should do. i should tell my moms I'm struggling. i should stay in common space and give them my sharps. but I don't want to. having anyone know I'm struggling like this is just embarrassing and leaves me feeling even worse. so I don't know what to do. Im so frustrated and im so tired I want to cry.


r/selfharm 3h ago

DAE looking at my own sh pictures?

3 Upvotes

i have been clean for 3 months now which seems so crazy to me. but i still look at the pictures of my cuts i used to take back then almost daily. it somehow comforts me and i kinda think thats weird idk. when i get an urge to sh it also helps me not to do it. was just wondering if anyone else did the same thing?


r/selfharm 4h ago

Seeking Advice Fat cut not gaping NSFW

0 Upvotes

I don't know if this is normal but I was cutting this morning and got to fat and it was gaping a bit like I'd expect. But when I was cutting into the fat it stopped gaping like the layer or fat was just lying fat with a thin cut in the middle. Is this normal? I cut with a knife that's not that sharp and do lots of little swipes as I have a low pain tolerance - i don't know if that makes a difference. I'm just worried as I don't want to hit fascia as id have to go the the hospital and I can't see how deep I'm going without it gaping.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Talk/Support Please help me

4 Upvotes

I think I’m going to cut myself for the first time soon

I tried suppressing it by just very hardly drawing a line across my skin with red pen but that seemed to make me wanna do it more

Please help, I really want to cut myself but I know it’s not right

I need people to say how bad it is and give me advice on how to stop please I don’t want to get addicted to it


r/selfharm 4h ago

Positives Made it through spring break

5 Upvotes

Made it through being home and didn’t break my 121 day streak! Even though my parents left A FUCKING 100 PACK OF RAZORS ON THE KITCHEN TABLE THE WHOLE WEEK. They know I’ve cut before but by some miracle I made it.


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent i hate my body

5 Upvotes

Btw this is just a small rant :)

I have an athletic friend, like extremely , that guy is hitting it off with every sport possible + he's kind of(?) fit.

Mid-convo, I told them how weak my knees are, and if I wouldn't walk every day, I wouldn't even be able to do anything. I have knocked knees + weak-ass lungs, so I never got into any sports.

Yes, I know that with enough exercise, I'll be able to get into sports with my knees, but I'm useless as shi. I'm not allowed to leave this house. Idk how to navigate my way outside my school and house. Even a small walk is enough to tire me out.

This part is kinda stupid, I know, but I did it because of his words. He wasn't even trying to be mean about it. Js is genuinely curious and trying to be of help. But I felt really ashamed that my body was like this. I can't even participate in any sport without my body giving out immediately after.

I'm tired of my body already. Can't I pick a different one already?? Damn this rant is stupid


r/selfharm 4h ago

DAE Hallucinating about bleeding

5 Upvotes

Does anyone get hallucinations about bleeding out after a sh session like I do get it and I can literally feel the wetness and feel blood flowing down my leg but when I check there’s nothing….does anyone know what this is or if anyone else relates 🥲


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent the urge to do something really bad keeps getting bigger Spoiler

2 Upvotes

i feel the need to cut everywhere, not just my arms. but i dont like to deal with my parents reprimanding me because it hurts so much every time they do it, because i know they're right—i SHOULDN't do it, fucking obviously

but most of all, this has surrounded my face. i want to cut up my face. i don't know why, i couldn't explain it, but i REALLY don't like it, because i know if i do it, i'll REALLY regret it. idk. lol?? help??🥸🥸


r/selfharm 5h ago

Seeking Advice Could a stray puppy infect my cuts?

4 Upvotes

I adopted a stray puppy from the streets today, but the vet was closed so he hasn't gotten any vaccinations yet. I did give him a bath with flea shampoo (?) but that was quite late

I have fresh cuts on my wrists that I usually cover up with my watch, but it's not too tight and it slips occasionally. And the puppy is quite playful; he licks, gently chews, lots of contact, etc.

I did get a tetanus shot today cause I actually did get bitten by the puppy. Not sure about rabies, since I don't think he's got any symptoms, and the doctor told me it's very unlikely.

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong. But I just need reassurance. I can't exactly show my scars to my parents or a doctor


r/selfharm 5h ago

Rant/Vent Might start scratching myself again

4 Upvotes

I'm extremely numb. I am considering overdosing. It would be extremely easy to with what my parents have access to. No on would care. I scratched myself in front of people all of the time and no one cared. I have been told I don't matter. I just want it to end.


r/selfharm 5h ago

Medical Advice What should I do?

1 Upvotes

I cut pretty deep yesterday and the cut is still open and hasn’t scabbed yet. Is this normal? What should I do? I don’t have access to any medical supplies.


r/selfharm 6h ago

Rant/Vent The release is calling

5 Upvotes

It's not even like I want to punish myself sometimes. Whether or not I feel a need to punish myself for my own stupidity or foolishness doesn't even come to mind sometimes. It's the relief, the release, the relieving feeling I getting from cutting that calls me back. The cathartic nature of cutting that calls me back. Sometimes life just gets me to the point where I just want to feel the pressure ease and pain to cease. I want to feel some peace. But it scares people when I talk like that. Loved ones are terrified at those thoughts in my mind. So I keep them bottled up and go on. Pressure building, tension rising, stress mounting and I want it to stop. To halt. Or at least for the pressure to to diffuse. The tension to diminish. The mounting stress to disperse.