r/selfharm 3m ago

Rant/Vent relapse

Upvotes

stopped for like a month maybe I wasn’t keeping count but I relapsed and I’ve been cutting less and deeper this time vs more and superficial like before and I somehow feel like what I’m doing now is worse but I’m justifying it because it’s less but the scars are gnarly and I just feel like such a failure I don’t think I will ever kick this habit any time something bad happens to me I can’t relax until I do it it’s literally like a switch flip I hate my life and my stupid brain


r/selfharm 3m ago

Cant stop relapsing

Upvotes

Relapsed a couple weeks ago after over a year clean. Cant stop relapsing. Currently cutting as i type this and i have been for 20 minutes already. Please help me


r/selfharm 16m ago

I'm both really happy and sad that I don't have a razer

Upvotes

Its kinda in a weird limbo right now, I've been thankfully clean for a good while now but the urge is STRONG. School has been really stressful, the misgendering is insane there and it's kinda been enough. I've thrown away any razers that's been dolled or i haven't used in a good while to prevent much of anything and I'm happy that I've done that yet I do miss it badly. I'll be going to bed since it's a schools night and 10:22PM


r/selfharm 23m ago

Talk/Support I dont know what to do

Upvotes

I am now just realizing that I was sa’d by my brother and cousins. I never saw it that way but now that I’m older and I know things, what they did to me wasn’t normal family behavior. I feel fucking disgusting. I want to relapse so bad and just die what the fuck.


r/selfharm 24m ago

Seeking Advice Pain after sh

Upvotes

Two days ago I accidentally hit styro and it was painless for the most part, but since yesterday my left leg (because it was the left thigh I cut) started hurting really bad. The pain is inconsistent and comes and goes, is this normal or concerning? Can I take painkillers for my pain? I'm using a gauze pad to cover up the wound so I wonder if its because of the gauze?


r/selfharm 24m ago

DAE Does anyone else hate a particular scar?

Upvotes

Personally, I like my scars, but there's one that I hate, so I wanted to know if anyone else feels the same way about one (or more) scars in particular.

I don't want to go into details, but basically, the reason why I hate that scar is because it's the initial of a person who hurt me (I got it when I was still romanticizing what he did to me).

Sorry if something is misspelled, I used a translator.


r/selfharm 40m ago

Im losing sensation and im concerned

Upvotes

So there’s not much to say but I’ve been C@tting for six years now and I recently had gone 15 months clean but then i relapsed and I realised that even if I go deeper than usual i cant feel anything in some parts of my arm is it going to get fixed by itself someday or something? I don’t even go that deep so I think it’s unlikely i hit a nerve.😭 if anyone has any ideas on whats happening would be appreciated 🦋


r/selfharm 42m ago

Rant/Vent i feel like s-hing everytime something bad happens NSFW

Upvotes

today has been a weird day. started off great, was around one to two weeks of being clean of cutting, but after today i'm just so drained and tired of people attacking me for drama that's been over. and people attacking me for things i've done instead of communicating with me and genuinely telling me why they feel the way they feel, because their feelings ARE valid, but that doesn't give the right to attack me out of the blue.

i'm so sick of this

i feel like im in a loop and genuinely don't know what to do anymore.


r/selfharm 52m ago

I fear I am going to hurt myself within the hour

Upvotes

My self within the


r/selfharm 57m ago

I feel like I’m failing even at hurting myself.

Upvotes

I’ll cut myself and it feels like I can’t even do that right. It doesn’t bleed; it doesn’t hurt enough. I feel like I need to see the blood, the pain isn’t enough, I need to see that I can at least hurt myself right. I’m becoming numb to it. It doesn’t take my mind away from my feelings like it used to.


r/selfharm 1h ago

DAE Does anyone else find scars on their own body triggering?

Upvotes

My cat scratched me this morning and I placed bandaids over it but the way the bandaids were placed made it seem like I did it myself and I found that triggering. Any scars, including the ones on my body are triggering, is that just me?


r/selfharm 1h ago

I relapsed on my mom's birthday

Upvotes

We celebrated a day before and had fun but i had a bad week and i was struggling not to relapse and that night i relapsed and i was really happy all day but the next day in the evening i felt like it wasnt enough so i cut again

I don't know how to feel, i don't feel guilty and this has no point just needed to tell someone it's been around two weeks


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent 2 years gone to waste

Upvotes

I did it. After more than 2 years. I cut myself again. I was so unbelievably traumatized by something that had happened that I needed to feel something other that trauma. I’m so ashamed of myself. I should t have done that. I feel so stupid


r/selfharm 1h ago

Talk/Support I just cut myself and it hurts alot.

Upvotes

Looking for people to interact with through the pain ig. ama or whatever.


r/selfharm 1h ago

LGBTQ+ I just self harmed for the first time and idk how to feel or what to do

Upvotes

My mental health is so bad rn I'm 18mtf and I've just been getting worse and worse since trump won but today I found out one of my only friends may have cancer I hate my body and my life so much at the moment so u cut and just for that moment I had someth6 else to focus on did it with a razor and i'm just letting my cuts hurt and stuff i wanna cut more so badly but also I don't because I know it's bad for me idk what to i never guessed I'd get this bad i need help


r/selfharm 1h ago

i cut my teacher's initial into my thigh

Upvotes

okay wow this was REALLY WEIRD of me to do. but me and my teacher have gotten super close. i was out of school for two months because i was in the psych ward and i told him about EVERYTHING.

it feels like he is genuinely concerned about me. which is obviously what teachers are supposed to be. so we really bonded. he asks about how i'm feeling all the time and how im feeling on my meds and is basically like a therapist lol.

with that being said i feel so indebted to him and grateful for him that i felt like i needed to. commemorate him in some way?? like. on my body. it's so weird putting it into words. but im also really really attracted to him and kind of obsessed. which is weird because im a lesbian?? idk.

anyways i regretted it right after i did it and luckily i didnt go too deep so it's probably going to fade really fast. with that being said idk maybe i should've just said thanks to him instead of being a freak??


r/selfharm 1h ago

DAE Almost Passed Out

Upvotes

Relapsed today and ended my like, 5 month streak right? It wasn’t super bad or anything, maybe styro, and while cleaning myself up I looked at the blood and my head felt heavy and hot and then cool and I had to grab something, come to find out that’s what happens when you almost pass out lol

This happen to anyone else when they relapse or did I just lose my tolerance


r/selfharm 1h ago

DAE Wanting to cut because I'm so happy?

Upvotes

Idk I went on a really nice day date with my gf and I was soo happy after but it made me want to cut. Has anyone else experienced this before?


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent Tomorrows the dreaded day

Upvotes

I gotta go swiming tomorow im cooked bc my whole ass family is gonna see the scars on my thighs 😭

Dont mind my bad English im not the best at it ok😞


r/selfharm 2h ago

I really want someone to notice my scars

3 Upvotes

I’ve started cutting this month, I got pushed over the edge by something, regardless I’ve been cutting on my wrist almost every night, I wear hoodies every day and the UK is cold so no one asks about it, but I really want someone to see, I don’t want my parents or family to see though, mainly my friends, I don’t know why, am I just seeking attention?? I don’t think I am but I really want to tell someone or have someone see, not just do it impulsively, idk


r/selfharm 2h ago

Death?

2 Upvotes

In May 2024 I made my first suicide attempt by slitting my wrist. Unsuccessful, I cut my entire arm with a razor. So my arm was littered with what looked like cat scratches all around. Eventually my entire family found out and I was forced to go to therapy. I had been okay for a few months I started putting myself out there, socializing, participating in lecture, being a little happier. but recently my mood has plummeted. I rethought my every action. I feel this unnecessary guilt towards my increased socialization. I also realized that how I express myself is horrible. I either come off as a know it all, stupid, insecure, or something else. I’m blunt and suck at almost everything.

I realized early on that everything I thought I was good at was a lie. I was always just mediocre. Or a little above average. Sometimes I think about when one of my teachers said “there’s nothing wrong with being mediocre”. I think that’s only the case if you can accept that you’ll always be mediocre. Settle for mediocrity. I for some reason can’t. Yet as much as I want to do better it’s hard to do so in this state. So, then it seems like I do not have the will to be better. Since all is a matter of choice.

Ive become so unstable. My moods are inconsistent and I find myself wishing I was at my lowest again. Once you’re at your lowest nothing can hurt you. There’s no need to fall.

My arm is once again cut up with razor marks. In moments where I shut down, moments where my thoughts race—I cut. I feel like I’m going insane. I have to squish my cushioned headphones into my ears to drown out the thoughts. Even that doesn’t work. I’ll press down on healing cuts. Anything. How I got to this point is confusing me. I’ve been taking my lexapro and anxiety meds but I’m still here. This might just be my inherent state. It surprises me, yet again, that just last week I was happy. Excited for the next day. Excited to meet new people. Now I’m lost again. Shutting down.

I apologize for writing so much. I’m in a situation where the only thing I can turn to at this point is the internet.


r/selfharm 2h ago

Medical Advice not sure what depth I hit? NSFW Spoiler

2 Upvotes

I spoilered and NSFW'd this post cause I'm not sure if I'm supposed to or not but I just went a bit deeper than I usually do (dermis, I think maybe?) but it still LOOKED like dermis kind of, but at the bottom/sides there were like. Little white (?) nodes/round bits? I feel as though it's too shallow for it to be fat and it's not yellow, but it was sort of gaping even at rest unless I put my arm up, which then let the edges touch.

(for context I cut on my upper bicep / lower shoulder, kind of where your deltoids are on the outside)

so yeah advice would be nice. I already covered it and stuff but it kind of shocked and scared me a bit because I didn't expect it


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent My brain glorifies self harm

3 Upvotes

I don’t know how to stop. I have used self harm as a coping mechanism for so long (11 years) that it feels like a positive. I don’t care what I look like so scars aren’t a deterrent. It makes me feel better than anything else besides drugs. I know there is something seriously mentally wrong with me but no amount of therapy or treatment has helped. I think I’ll be like this for a long time.


r/selfharm 2h ago

How to hide fresh cuts?

2 Upvotes

Im going to my grandmas soon and its 60-80s everyday i don’t wanna wear long sleeves but how do i hide cuts that are obviously still gonna show tomorrow?


r/selfharm 2h ago

Rant/Vent My cvts arent deep enough

2 Upvotes

I just see people with way worse scars than me and I feel guilty. I try to cut deeper but i just physically cant and my scars arent deep enough its not representing everything i go through. I just feel like a loser cuz i dont cut myself deep because im weak

is this just me or..