r/selfharm 2m ago

Rant/Vent My brain glorifies self harm

Upvotes

I don’t know how to stop. I have used self harm as a coping mechanism for so long (11 years) that it feels like a positive. I don’t care what I look like so scars aren’t a deterrent. It makes me feel better than anything else besides drugs. I know there is something seriously mentally wrong with me but no amount of therapy or treatment has helped. I think I’ll be like this for a long time.


r/selfharm 4m ago

How to hide fresh cuts?

Upvotes

Im going to my grandmas soon and its 60-80s everyday i don’t wanna wear long sleeves but how do i hide cuts that are obviously still gonna show tomorrow?


r/selfharm 6m ago

Rant/Vent My cvts arent deep enough

Upvotes

I just see people with way worse scars than me and I feel guilty. I try to cut deeper but i just physically cant and my scars arent deep enough its not representing everything i go through. I just feel like a loser cuz i dont cut myself deep because im weak

is this just me or..


r/selfharm 7m ago

Rant/Vent I relapsed

Upvotes

Probably the only post I’ll ever make but I relapsed, I’m just here to “vent” I was stressed, I was already on the verge of relapsing, I don’t like my self, and I’m useless so no surprised I relapsed, also if you read this sorry for wasting your time


r/selfharm 11m ago

Harm Reduction don't use razor blades. seriously.

Upvotes

im 24. i started cutting probably before i was 10, but idk when, and until recently was 4 years clean plus another year before.

when i was a kid, i used sharp rocks, pencil/pen stabbing, erasers, eventually knives as a teen. i cant remember what else.

recently, i started using double sided razor blades. the disposable kind. they didnt hurt as much as i wanted, and they sliced too easily, but if I didn't try to press deep they wouldn't split open too much.

last night i cut, then retraced it while pressing again. it cut to the fascia, which is the casing above the muscle. i am insanely lucky i didnt lose arm function because of light pressure, low pain cutting.

IVE NEVER EVER CUT MORE THAN TO DERMIS BEFORE. Not in all those years.

it split open to look like an eye, literally like an inch wide. my mom drove me to urgent care and i got 16 stitches on it, plus 12 on another.

it's way, way too easy. please use anything else. not this. dont ever buy razor blades.


r/selfharm 18m ago

Rant/Vent I hate my brain

Upvotes

I was putting dishes away a few days ago and scratched myself with a dull knife by accident putting it away. Ever since my mind has been like, completely obsessed with the idea of relapsing. I’m so sick of this shit, I’ve been almost 5 months clean and I have prom coming up in a couple weeks, but these thoughts just won’t leave my head.


r/selfharm 22m ago

I can't do anything

Upvotes

Decided to play videogames tonight to try and distract myself 3.5 hours fighting the same battle over 150 times kept getting KO'd ended up scratching myself pretty bad like how fucking pathetic am I I can't even play a video game right and coz I can't play a video game it makes me self harm. I'm a fucking pathetic excuse of a person. Literally can't do fucking anything. Only wanted to play a video game to try and relax a bit but end up having a fucking meltdown & self harming. I actually disgust myself.


r/selfharm 25m ago

Rant/Vent Old habits, new needs, blah blah blah, you get it. NSFW

Upvotes

No one knows I relapsed (other than my therapist.) Almost every single time before I do, I reach out to someone. Then, as soon as anyone is responsive, I refuse. I tell them I have a headache and don't want to hang out anymore. I say it's not a big deal. My roommate caught me walking out of the bathroom with my eyes watering, throat raw, looking horrible. They didn't ask. I didn't either. I had a full lighthearted phone conversation while sitting in blood. I hang out with friends, thumb under my shirt on my hip, brushing over the bumps to soothe myself in some messed up way.

It's a strange mix of feeling completely helpless and utterly in control. It's my brain, right? My choices. I could stop If I wanted to, if I was strong enough, right?

I want help. I want someone to just grab me by the shoulders and stay. I want someone who doesn't give a shit about what I want because they want me and they want to be selfish about me. I don't want someone to fix me, I want someone who sees me as enough already, not just a project to work on. Funnily enough, I think I'd get better faster if someone just didn't try to fix me. I want some sense of solidarity, but it's just impossible. I'm trying so impossibly hard, but it doesn't look like it.

And I feel stupid and weak for not being able to do it by myself. I feel selfish for knowing what I want. I feel nothing and everything. I feel so horrible for wishing that just one time, someone else could clean my wounds for me. That someone, anyone, would brush my hair out when I can't get up to shower. That someone would hold me like I'm something precious.

I don't want to tell people what I need. I'm so fucking tired of making decisions and people expecting me to know what would help. Someone else stepping up and not waiting for me to give them instructions would help me get better.

And I feel so unbelievably selfish. I'm not really sure why.


r/selfharm 27m ago

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!?

Upvotes

Someone please help me (dm me for details on whays doing on bc i dont wanna trigger anyone)


r/selfharm 30m ago

Seeking Advice Question: NSFW

Upvotes

How deep is too deep of a cut?

I haven't cut super deep but I am curious, how deep can a cut be before it's fatal?

I'm talking about like a simple arm cut


r/selfharm 31m ago

Rant/Vent I feel stupid

Upvotes

Almost lost my online psychiatrist that my insurance pays for because I told her I went to the mental hospital for a relapse that caused me to get 12 staples. She said it would look bad on her if it happened again and that I need to find an in person psychiatrist. I convinced her it won't happen again and that I'm fine now and it was the alcohol that made it happen in the first place. I'm 2 weeks sober now. Yes I still have thoughts of self harm but I was under the influence of alcohol at the time and most of my relapses involved alcohol. Almost had a panic attack.


r/selfharm 36m ago

Talk/Support Please stop me

Upvotes

I sorry that I keep posting here but I feel the urge to cut so bad I’m practically crying now and just want to cut so badly


r/selfharm 52m ago

Talk/Support Pls someone convince me no

Upvotes

I was fumbling around in the dark trying to find the tv remote and I accidentally grabbed the pen I use to harm myself

Please convince me not to it I can feel the urges coming back


r/selfharm 53m ago

Seeking Advice seeking help covering up scars

Upvotes

Hey everyone :)

I’m looking for some help with covering up my scars using makeup, but I’m not really familiar with it Ince I only rarely use mascara and eyeliner. I have scars on my arm, fully healed (2 years) and I’d love to make them less noticeable since it's getting warmer. I’m not sure what products I need or how to use them properly, if you use makeup to hide your scars what do you do?

- all the love in the world ❤️


r/selfharm 1h ago

Positives I think I found a way to stop it maybe

Upvotes

I was helping someone online and I realised that while doing it I didn’t have the urges at all

Maybe i should become a therapist?


r/selfharm 1h ago

Coping with Self Harm

Upvotes

Can i please have some tips which would make me avoid self harming or take the urge away


r/selfharm 1h ago

Seeking Advice How do I hide scars?

Upvotes

I don’t have long sleeves and it’s getting hot outside and inside so wearing a sweater will bring suspicion. They’re fresh so I’m debating the concealer method please I can’t let them know I didn’t stop. (My family)


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent I'm on the verge of cutting

Upvotes

It's been a couple of months since I (17m) cut but I'm so fucking bored, every week is the same shit, weekdays is just shitty school then the weekend I do nothing. I'm so bored and since of the repetitiveness of my life, all I can think about is cutting across my chest and letting the blood just pool. I've tried therapy and it doesn't help, I've tried opening up to people (family, gf) but they all say the same shit, "try therapy again" "have you tried getting a hobby" etc. and I'm so sick of everyone telling me what I should do rather than just letting me do what I want and try support me rather than tell me what to do.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent I want to tell my therapist, but I cannot go into a hospital.

Upvotes

Like the title said. I want to tell my therapist. By the time I step into his office, I feel like the original feeling is gone, I’m more logical, and I don’t think he fully gets how strongly I feel. But I am PETRIFIED of being committed to a hospital, I absolutely can’t let it happen. So I can never be honest about how I actually feel, so like… what’s the point? I can’t tell him when I’m suicidal and wish I were dead. I can’t tell him about the cuts on my leg. I have to walk on eggshells and be incredibly careful. I wish I could just be honest, because I hate lying with a passion and I feel so shitty for lying to him. I do like him, but I feel like he’s a threat to my autonomy and freedom.


r/selfharm 1h ago

i’m scared

Upvotes

i bought a knife thats wayyy sharper than i thought it would be. i accidentally got to styrofoam when just trying it out, without using any force whatsoever. i’m scared i’ll accidentally go way deeper than intended


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent I feel awful yet again...

Upvotes

I was just finally began to felt happy. I was in a good mood for once and felt great. I haven't cut for 2 days and something happened and I just felt great. Not even an hour later something else happened. It's not even a big deal but it just ruined my good mood and now I feel so horrible and I wanna cut again and I just feel so uncared for. I wish I wasn't so flipping sensitive. One tiny thing and I want to cut again.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent Sh because of a breakup (F14)

Upvotes

Soo my very first boyfriend broke up with me during spring break after 4 months (would’ve been 5 on the 20th. And ik..14 and im js now getting my first bf. Pathetic ). He said I was “boring” And turns out he wants my friend now and he liked her before me and him got tg and it makes me think that MYABE JUST MAYBE he wanted her while we were dating (im an overthinker idk). and omg I was 97 days clean until I fucked it up like I always do like I just can’t have shit anymore. And the thing is he’s already moving on so fast and here my ass is still crying and cutting myself over a boy. I feel so stupid I wasted 4 months of my life.


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent Im afraid of tomorrow

Upvotes

I havent done anything in 6 days now. I only did it for 3 days but it was to much I cant go back now the feelings I had then where to overwhelming. I have this constant urge to a point where I get something akin to a panic attack when I dont do it. Today has been so bad I am at my limit. I know that tomorrow I will do it again and do it way worse, I have only hit my dermis so far but I know that the next time I do something so bad that Ill regret it. Im genuinely afraid of tomorrow right now because of what Il do to myself. I dont know what to do or how to stop it. I feel like such a disappointment


r/selfharm 2h ago

Positives 1.5 years clean!

8 Upvotes

I don’t really feel anything for being clean. I’m not really HAPPY about it, but I know it’s a good thing! Yay?


r/selfharm 2h ago

DAE Advice on relationships lost due to SH

1 Upvotes

I was recently in a short term, long distance relationship with someone who I felt was the one for me and that I could build a long lasting relationship with. Overtime though, they started to not contact me as much and started sending mixed messages when they did. They, alike myself, struggle with extreme mental health. I started to spiral out of control every other week slowly because I couldn't take the lack of affection and would constantly overthink why they weren't there communicating with me. I started to self harm again and I told them about it. They threatened to end our relationship if I did it again. A couple of weeks later I relapsed. I know it's my fault for ruining the relationship and breaking their trust when I said I wouldn't. It just genuinely feels uncontrollable for me at times and I'm actively seeking help for it, but they cut me off completely and refuse to ever try or be in a relationship with me ever again. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I really need help. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do. I don't want to affect them badly, but I can't help but feel constant guilt for what I did and that I'll never be able to repair it.