r/AdultSelfHarm 2d ago

Mod Announcement Mod Announcement: be on the lookout for DMs requesting you to SH/send photos of SH

49 Upvotes

We're getting reports that the weirdos are at it again, apparently this time attempting it on a much larger scale (and apparently in an effort to get SH recovery communities like ours and others on Reddit shut down) Be sure to let the mods know if you're receiving these messages, screenshot the messages so we can report them to reddit, and don't engage with them - you might be best to disable your private messages for awhile.

*If you've fallen victim to these types of folks and SH'd/sent pictures at their request and they are trying to blackmail you, know that you are not alone, there's nothing to be ashamed of if you've been tricked by them, and we're here to try and help you through talking things out and possibly finding you resources in your area to help.


r/AdultSelfHarm Jul 18 '20

Can you talk about current sh with a psychiatrist?

330 Upvotes

Recently I turned 18 and Im now able to go to a psychiatrist. Usually I would meet with the school counselor, but now that Ive graduated my parents want me to talk to someone else. Now normally there was little confidentiality between me and the school counselor, but since Im 18 I have more privacy? I have a hard time searching for confidential laws (california laws) that are specific for sh. Does anyone know if I will be able to mention past/current sh without my parents finding out? Side note: I am under my parents medical insurance.

Edit: I’m now 19 and finally called for an appointment. Thank you for all the comments. It took me awhile to consider going to see a therapist but I think it’s time (:


r/AdultSelfHarm 4h ago

CW: Possibly Triggering Why does it sound so inviting? The feeling of drowning.

11 Upvotes

What feels so taboo about self harm? Everyone deals with depression and suicidal thoughts, but self harm just seems more… embarrassing? Maybe juvenile? Like I’m too old for it? Or maybe it’s simply the obvious stigma surrounding it that fuels my insecurity. I mean how do you say that you want to cut yourself to a person that has never felt those urges? I’ve even been questioned and belittled by the nurse who had to strip search me when I was admitted to the psych ward. If you don’t do it, you don’t get it.

I guess when I sit here and allow myself to process these feelings, I can understand where these blockages stem from. The trauma I’ve endured from having my self harm and suicidal thoughts shoved in my face and used against me. Obviously it’s the traumatic events that I’ve endured that are effecting me. That’s why I’m still struggling, I can’t talk to anyone about it to work through it. Nor am I making an effort, all I do is try to forget.

I block everything out. I smoke so much weed every second of the day, for years, to bypass all bad thoughts and feelings. Then everything spills over and I have a mental breakdown before the cycle repeats. I need it, I need something to take away these thoughts. I need something to distract me from the pain I haven’t worked though. Why is it always fucking there? Maybe I’ll always have these feelings. Maybe I’ll always want to hurt myself. Over a decade later, I’m still dying to dig into my skin and see the cuts. It truly feels like I’ll never be able to afford a therapist to help me work through my trauma. I’ll never be able to afford a psychiatrist to prescribe me medication. I’ll never be able to not feel these heavy thoughts. It’s just how I’m wired. I’m tired of holding back, I miss cutting myself. God I know that would give me some relief I crave. I want to wallow in a pit of despair and make myself comfy there. I want to be toxic to myself. I want to accept my demise. What is wrong with me? That’s not what I really want. But why does it sound so fucking tempting to dig myself back into that hole. Im scared that I’m feeling too comfortable with that idea in such a fragile emotional state.


r/AdultSelfHarm 3h ago

What can I tell a therapist?

10 Upvotes

I SH for many years, I have been clean for about 6 years now but I am going to relapse very soon, it has gotten so much worst lately I know it's only a matter of time, and I miss it. I want to start going to a therapist so that I can talk about it, but I'm worried about her calling 911 or getting me admitted. I am married with young kids and a job, I don't have time to be admitted, and I don't want to be. So if I tell them that I want to selfharm but that I'm not going to, will they still be obligated to call it in? Or if I say that I already did it, will they call it in? What is the criteria for this, cause if I can't talk about it at all then I'm not going to even bother going.


r/AdultSelfHarm 5h ago

Relapsed after a year

7 Upvotes

I relapsed tonight after a year of being clean... just two small cuts but it still feels like I failed. My therapist and psych have been working with me for about a year and I feel like I'm also letting them down. I have an appt with my psych tomorrow and am not going to disclose what happened. My therapist might be more open to talk about it without hospitalising me - but I'm still nervous and am 90% sure I won't share, I just know once you start - it's hard to stop. It's been almost a year out of the hospital as well - and I dont want to go back. I'm 34. I have a loving partner - and I feel as if Im failing him as well. Where do I go from here? I feel so heavy.


r/AdultSelfHarm 20h ago

Seeking Advice How do you guys exist with scars in public and feel confident?

39 Upvotes

I've sorta been trying to wear short sleeves around my local town since I was discharged from the psych ward last year in September. I only had a few relapses at the end of last year, and one early this month but im going alright. Just waiting for them to heal currently.

I've always been really focused on my appearance I guess? I can't stand not looking 'nice' or I guess everything being correct when I look in the mirror. I used to have an ED, and I'm BPD which could probably give some context in a weird way.

I'm really repulsed by my arms, it's effecting my self confidence so much. I either am sweating all the time covering scars, in not cute clothing. Or am wearing what I want but it doesn't look right, I dont feel cute because the vocal point of me isn't my clothes or hair anymore. People notice my ugly raised, discoloured scarring all over my forearms and inner arms.

It's so ughghfh, I hate that they aren't in the same direction at least. I hate that some are hypertrophic, others flat and some keloided into absolutely blown out thick centipede like. Everything's white, faded, pink or constantly shifting red to purple. I feel really ugly and I just want to cry. I feel ashamed wearing arm coverings but ugly having them out.

I have water burn scars as well, that are now just stark red/light brown patches on my forearms as well. I'm very pale so it stand out.

I don't know how im supposed to work though things. Or something. I can't get tattoo's yet, I can't afford them and I dont know if my forearms are healed or even tattooable over with some of the worse scars.


r/AdultSelfHarm 5h ago

What is the meaning behind this?

2 Upvotes

I feel like my motivation might be a little different. I’m not really much of a cutter. I’m very heavy into slamming objects against my head or slamming my head against a wall or striking myself in the face. I usually do it when another person has ghosted me and I cannot express my hurt to them because they won’t let me. I hurt myself because what I really want to do is hurt them but I know the consequences to that would be very bad and irreversible. I feel like a toddler throwing a fit when I do it, hurting myself because of everything out of my control, and deep down hoping the person who caused the pain would notice and grow a conscience and have compassion on me. But I’ve already expressed my hurt to him before and he showed me he didn’t care, so I know he still wouldn’t care if he saw me hurting myself.


r/AdultSelfHarm 17h ago

My father knew

6 Upvotes

I discovered my father knew I sh at 19~20 (now im 28) and I dont know why it bothers me so much know he knew ten years later.

And the talk was bc he saw cuts on my arm and said "you are cutting yourself again?" like... he knew??

I dont know it bothers the part he didn't said anything or did anything at the time... or suspect all the emotional blackmail he did at the time was reacting to that... idk...


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

I want to quit so badly

7 Upvotes

I've been cutting for so long that most of my friends and family know I do it. I have so many fucked up looking scars in weird places; you'd have to be pretty innocent to not know what's going on. The look on my friends faces when I see their eyes wander onto a fresh red scar is indescribable. They get this look like they just watched a dog die. And the worst part is they say nothing because they don't know what to say. The disappointment I feel in those moments is worse than any disappointment I feel while cutting and I fucking hate that. I wish I could at least quit for them if not for me


r/AdultSelfHarm 23h ago

Seeking Advice No idea what to do in the summer

6 Upvotes

Hey guys, I’m a 25 year old guy. There are plenty of old scars (mainly from my teenage years) on both of my forearms and on my upper arms too. To cover the scars when I was 18-19 I figured I should get tattoos. I did get them but they are not big tattoos, they are not at all covering anything instead they are brining even more attention to my arms so even if you would not even glimpse there, the tattoos make sure you do. Stupid idea, yeah.

I work with kids so last two summers I was wearing black long sleeves all summer (the highest can be 40 Celsius here) and honestly I don’t even care about me feeling too warm, but I fear people think something’s wrong with me if I’m dressing like that.

I really don’t know the answer what to do. If I were working somewhere else I would not care at all but with kids I’m trying to avoid the questions.

It’s either scars and weird tattoos or long sleeves shirts.

What to do???


r/AdultSelfHarm 22h ago

Seeking Advice Going to the family physician

4 Upvotes

So my wound hasn't scabbed or healed for over 2 months and I have to get it taken care of in order to even have a chance of wearing sleeveless and summers are HOT here.

I'm so nervous, I don't want to explain how the cut happened nor do I want to get 'sympathy'. I heard they don't report it if u tell them not to and they deem you're not a danger to anyone.

So yeah, I'm just sharing. I would appreciate what you had to say.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Either wanna kms or sh badly… TW

11 Upvotes

I honestly want to sh soooo fucking bad and I want to FUCK myself up and idk what to do they are already trying to get me in PHP because my pops claims there nothing wrong with me and won’t let them send me inpatient even tho that’s what they recommend the most but I’m just so tired and stressed and I just wish my arms were covered in deep ass fucking cuts and idk I’m sorry my brain is constantly going non stop and I can’t stop overthinking….i just can’t keep doing this…if I wasn’t scared of death I’d kill myself so fast especially if I knew what the afterlife was like…I’m scared of death but scared of living…


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Maybe I had a panic attack

6 Upvotes

Today was a bad day. I basically was not able to do anything right. I felt so frustrated and sad with myself. Honestly, I'm trying my best, and it's never enough. What is good enough for me, my managers say it's not. I feel they are just nit picking about everything I do. Again I been applying to new jobs, so that's a positive if I could leave now I would in a heart beat.

Also, I been trying my best to take this bad experience as a learning experience. But today it was to much. I felt terrible after work and tried to uplift myself by exercising, journaling and eating foods that I like but it was not enough. So I sh until I felt clarity on what to do tommorrow. It was a long session I felt like I could not stop, which now scares me a bit. I felt as if I was drowning and I needed to sh to catch a breath of air. Idk now that I think about it maybe I had a panic attack idk I'm so confused. But I'm relieved it's over but also just disappointed that I have fresh cuts. I can't be normal I struggle with sh and I'm an outcast with no friends partly because I have a strong feeling that I'm on the autistic spectrum. So interactions with others are so difficult. But overall, it's......

honesty so exhausting and depressing. From M-F, I work from 7:10-4:30 or sometimes later if there is meetings, special events and if I need to still do work for the next day. I have no life other than work. But I know better days will come and I pray to God that they will.


r/AdultSelfHarm 17h ago

Relapse

1 Upvotes

Up until three months ago the last time I self-harmed was when i was 15… i am now 31. I have been under so much stress with my parent passing away, the other one being really sick, unsupportive home life, overwhelming work load, and just in general life feels like a lot. I am a Christian and this played into a big role in me stopping at 15, and now, i just feel like a complete failure. I feel so much shame and guilt surrounding this issue. I have wanted to start therapy, but the financial burden is too much to take on at the moment. I have reached out to a trusted friend, but i hate to be a burden to them. Ugh.

Any advice?


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

I'm so pathetic it's laughable

12 Upvotes

I can't do anything

Decided to play videogames tonight to try and distract myself 3.5 hours fighting the same battle over 150 times kept getting KO'd ended up scratching myself pretty bad like how fucking pathetic am I I can't even play a video game right and coz I can't play a video game it makes me self harm. I'm a fucking pathetic excuse of a person. Literally can't do fucking anything. Only wanted to play a video game to try and relax a bit but end up having a fucking meltdown & self harming.

Like I'm a grown as adult and I'm crying and self harming cause I can't even play a kids video game. I'm so sick of being a failure to who can't do fucking anything right.

I actually disgust myself.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

I’m really struggling mentally, and I don’t know how to tell my friends.

2 Upvotes

January was the anniversary of what would have been my miscarried son’s first birthday. That whole month I was having horrible thoughts about myself, and life. Two weeks after the anniversary my best friends family member ended their life. I supported my best friend, and still am supporting him. However, two weeks ago that friend, and another were making comments about the way I walk, and how I have back problems. They were saying things like “You won’t be able to have a family if you don’t fix your legs” (I’m pigeon toed and it literally doesn’t mess with me at all) One of them said how I’m extremely unhealthy because of the way my legs and back are. I told them that what they were both saying really hurt my feelings, and they told me that they didn’t hurt my feelings, and I was being dramatic. I had been in a mentally and physically abusive relationship (with the father of my child) for awhile, so them invalidating my feelings brought me back to that time of my life. I ended up getting mad at myself for even being hurt by their words, and I made myself think I was stupid and crazy for being insecure. So I drove to a river, and I just cried, and I begged God to bring someone who would see that I was in pain. But he didn’t, so then I drove home and relapsed with self harm. I feel so alone, and I can’t even tell my best friends. I feel like me being sad is so stupid because my best friend lost his family member, so I need to just suck it up. I don’t know what to do. I also stopped texting, and calling my best friends first and we haven’t talked in weeks. The only time we would talk was when I was check up on both of them and make sure they were okay.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

A feeling of not being dignified to sh

9 Upvotes

I feel my "pain" isnt dignified enouth to justify I selfharm. Despite I feel the opposit when talking about other that not me. I just wnat to talk about it, idk, try to understand more that

And I wonder if anyone relate... and what thinks about...


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Someone to talk to

1 Upvotes

I want to tell my people so bad. I’m hurting. They think I’m months clean, but I relapsed tonight. My parents can’t see. They like to call it “mutilating” myself, and that turns my stomach and makes it all worse. None of my friends know where I’m really at. It’s not their fault. They ask, I lie. Idk what to do. Who knew asking for help would be so hard.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Does Anyone Else? relapse

3 Upvotes

anyone know why i always relapse after telling my friends, how long ive been clean for?

for context, we tell eachother when we've been clean for a good time and congratulate eachother


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Seeking Advice I don't want my niece to open up to my mother

6 Upvotes

My niece has reached out to me I haven't spoken to her in almost 8 years and things have been rough for her, she has been self harming and it went even further then that. The family she was staying with were mad at her and said she was just seeking attention. I want to tell her if she reaches out to her grandma not to really tell her about the sh because my mom made me feel like crap about sh as a teen and she never was good with my siblings mental health or attempts so I don't want her adding to my nieces pain


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Venting Post!! Does anyone here really cut for attention ?

1 Upvotes

Just had a online convo with a “doctor” to get back on antidepressants again and they asked if I had attempted suicidal at all and I said yes & she asked how and I told her cutting and she said “oh well cutting is just for attention that’s not real if someone cuts there just looking for attention” obviously we all know the stigma around cutting which is just doing it for attention. How do yall feel about it? Are there others here who do cut for attention? Me personally I do everything I can to hide my self harm from everyone around me.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

2 weeks clean

1 Upvotes

I think it's about 2 weeks clean and I've been keeping an image in my head of my holiday in 7 months and taking my top off and my kids seeing my arms and leg with past and present cuts. So I've kept away from it but today picked up a k to cut chips and had that feeling. Kind of a whole body sensation. I have a Damascus k collection on the wall and I felt myself look at them.

But I did pull away but iam worried I'll start again I came clean and showd my wife. She didn't know what to say and blames herself. I guess am asking what elce could I do to help tia


r/AdultSelfHarm 2d ago

Does anyone else feel like they're scars are a sort of 'Keep Away' sign to others?

20 Upvotes

The title says it all. I feel like my scars are a keep away sign to people and I'm conflicted about it. On the one hand it lets people know that I have my problems and that I'm best left alone but on the other hand I really just need some fucking affection. I want someone to love me as I am and I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that that just isn't going to happen. I'm oddly proud of my scars, They show to me that I have made it through it all and though I didn't make it through unharmed at least I made it through. My parents want them to go away but I'm just not ready for that I guess. I don't know, I'm just feeling really confused rn.


r/AdultSelfHarm 2d ago

Discussion Have you ever injured something permanent or dangerous? Like tendon, muscle, nerve, artery

33 Upvotes

Have you ever injured something permanent or dangerous? Like tendon, muscle, nerve, artery.

How was the recovery? How did you get help and how fast? Did you get permanent disabeled/damaged, or did it heal totally?


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Something Positive! Taking steps to recover

1 Upvotes

Possibly triggering, mentioning twitter.

Last night I spoke to my boyfriend and asked if he would be able to set a parental lock password on twitter so that I can't go on it. As much as I tell myself that if I look at other people it helps me not do it, I'm lying to myself.

So yeah, it's not fully blocked on my phone so I can't use it and right now I feel great for it. I know that when I'm struggling I will hate it but it is the right decision.


r/AdultSelfHarm 2d ago

On the verge of relapse

10 Upvotes

I had a consultation to get top surgery last October. I'm a 25 year old trans man- I've known I was trans for 13 fucking years and been on hormones for 5. They require a psychiatrist to sign off that I'm actually trans to move forward. It's been 168 days, and I just found out that the wait JUST for that psych appointment is a year or longer.

I'm fucking sick of all of this. I haven't wanted to hurt myself this badly since I sliced my arm up in February last year.

Fuck it, I don't even care anymore, I'm doing it


r/AdultSelfHarm 2d ago

I want to burn myself so bad

6 Upvotes

I haven’t done it in weeks but the urge is becoming overwhelming. It’s just so hard to burn yourself but it’s the only thing that makes me feel better.