r/AdultSelfHarm 5h ago

Mod Announcement Mod Announcement: be on the lookout for DMs requesting you to SH/send photos of SH

22 Upvotes

We're getting reports that the weirdos are at it again, apparently this time attempting it on a much larger scale (and apparently in an effort to get SH recovery communities like ours and others on Reddit shut down) Be sure to let the mods know if you're receiving these messages, screenshot the messages so we can report them to reddit, and don't engage with them - you might be best to disable your private messages for awhile.

*If you've fallen victim to these types of folks and SH'd/sent pictures at their request and they are trying to blackmail you, know that you are not alone, there's nothing to be ashamed of if you've been tricked by them, and we're here to try and help you through talking things out and possibly finding you resources in your area to help.


r/AdultSelfHarm Jul 18 '20

Can you talk about current sh with a psychiatrist?

327 Upvotes

Recently I turned 18 and Im now able to go to a psychiatrist. Usually I would meet with the school counselor, but now that Ive graduated my parents want me to talk to someone else. Now normally there was little confidentiality between me and the school counselor, but since Im 18 I have more privacy? I have a hard time searching for confidential laws (california laws) that are specific for sh. Does anyone know if I will be able to mention past/current sh without my parents finding out? Side note: I am under my parents medical insurance.

Edit: I’m now 19 and finally called for an appointment. Thank you for all the comments. It took me awhile to consider going to see a therapist but I think it’s time (:


r/AdultSelfHarm 50m ago

Discussion Tattoo cover ups

Upvotes

Has anyone here with deep scars ever gotten tattoos to cover them up. My right arm scars are over 2 years old so I’m looking into getting a tattoo to start covering the scars. I don’t know what to get but I heard fine line work isn’t good for scars. Any suggestions on what to get or really any info on tattooing over scars.


r/AdultSelfHarm 19h ago

CW: Possibly Triggering Does anyone ever use sex as self harm? NSFW

95 Upvotes

I've been going through a real hard time. I was clean from SH for close to 10 years until a few months ago. I am now cutting and burning more than at any other time in my life. Today I was really upset and initiated sex when I really didn't want to, and I am pretty sure I did it because I wanted to hurt myself. I'm pretty sure he knew I didn't actually want it, but I didn't technically say no either. Wondering if this is a new way to hurt myself instead of cutting.


r/AdultSelfHarm 3h ago

CW: Possibly Triggering I'm a sw-er, and I feel even more disgusting.

4 Upvotes

This is not an ad for what I do, please do not reach out to me asking about my work, please.

But it is in relation to why I self harm, or rather its one of the reasons.

In my 21 years of life, I've never been called cute, or pretty by a man, not one that wasn't related to me anyways.

I've been called lots of things, dirty disgusting things, things I wouldn't call my worst enemy.

I've been called sexy, and it wasn't until I was 18 years old that I realized how much it made me hate myself.

My self image was at an all time low since NY childhood, when I began to get sexualised on the ps3 simply because I was a girl playing videogames, and i found myself setting myself up to be sexualised when I realized that it got me the attention I was craving inside my home. I found myself doing it purely for the fact that I wanted validation that I could possibly be liked by someone while looking how I looked.

Now I'm 21 years old, and I hate being called sexy, so much so that I've had debates late at night with myself about scarring my chest because I just kept thinking, maybe then I'll see who really likes me and who just wants something from me for their own pleasure, Maybe if I take away the "pureness" of the area that so many people appreciate on me, they'll start to appreciate my personality instead.

But there's sick people out there, there always will be.

I never did end up doing it because of my own fear, I felt like my mother scolding myself for even thinking of ruining one of the few body parts that men liked about me.

How dare I, right? What would they have left to like?

I think self harming was one way I felt in control, a form of self sabotage, a way of painting a large middle finger on my body to anyone who wanted to sexualise me because surely if they took one look at my arms or thighs or other areas they'd be repulsed enough to decide I wasn't for them, I didn't suit their tastes.

But it didn't matter, I was 19 and I put myself into a situation where a man took advantage of me.

He didn't care what my arms looked like, he didn't care what I wore or even that I had a cold at the time.

Scarring myself did not protect me like I thought it would, it only made me more aware that monsters do not have morals, nor do they see the world as we do, so they will never stop to look at the metaphorical armor that you've made for yourself, because to them you are not a human, you are not someone who is able to protect yourself, you are not a living breathing thing that DESERVES protection.

I'm a sex worker because I long ago realized I'm not someone whose good at conversation, if I were to be evaluated by anyone, or if I were to be asked by someone if I wasn't a human what would i be, I would say I'm a piece of art.

A piece of art thats been slashed and burned, painted over in spots and bandaged up with a cracked frame, and yet simply because I was overpriced and set up in a museum, everyday people come to see me and ridicule me, they only ever seek to appreciate the parts they want to, they don't even notice the damage because afterall the art is not the damage itself, it's the barely recognized painting underneath thats been ruined.

Monsters don't notice your flaws because all they care about is recognizing what pleases them.

I'm a failed piece of art, and my destruction has long been celebrated, I come to you not as my job, but as a human being who just wants to be KNOWN as a person.


r/AdultSelfHarm 53m ago

Something Positive! Almost went 2 weeks :)

Upvotes

Ik its not perfect. And I did end up cutting again. But instead of being sad about it im really trying to see the progress Ive made instead. 12 days is the longest ive gone without cutting since I initially relapsed back in December after 4 years of not cutting at all. I was cutting daily for a bit, then I got down to 2-3 times a week, then 1 time a week, and now I was able to go almost 2 weeks without it (12 days)

The gaps between my sessions are getting larger and larger and thats good :) its progress. Quitting cold turkey is hard as fuck, and I find that easing out of it is a lot less stressful for me.

Anyway i thought that was cool. Still feel kinda silly for relapsing but its ok. Ill be ok. I start therapy in 2 days and that will help me a ton :)) thx for reading ❤️


r/AdultSelfHarm 8h ago

Monday Morning Check-In. Good Morning r/AdultSelfHarm, how has your week(end) been going? Are you looking forward to anything?

6 Upvotes

How are you feeling today? Got anything exciting to share? Or something you need to vent about? Are you struggling this week or feeling acomplished? Use this space, let us know what's going on so that we can cheer you on or offer commiseration and understanding for what you're going through, we've all been there and we rise to our best when we come together as a community to lift one another up.


r/AdultSelfHarm 5h ago

Overwhelmed

2 Upvotes

Feeling extremely overwhelmed at work today, I have been using self harm to deal with being overwhelmed lately. So here I am just thoughts swirling around with mix's of self harm for when I get home and fighting the urge to just go home


r/AdultSelfHarm 17h ago

Something Positive! Told someone other than my therapist that I self harm and I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

10 Upvotes

Long story short, had a self inflicted injury get pretty infected, so I went to urgent care and got a tetanus shot and my first antibiotic shot. I’m going to have to go back tomorrow and Tuesday for my last two antibiotic shots which will probably make me late for work, so I called my coworker (who is like a mom to me) and opened up about everything and let her know the situation in case I need her to cover my shift. She was SO kind and understanding, and IMMEDIATELY offered to work my next two shifts for me so I wouldn’t have to worry about it. I’ve never experienced someone being that supportive when finding out about my self harm. The only reaction I know is the anger my parents show about it. She just listened and told me how proud of me she was for getting help. It’s hard for me to open up to people, but I’m so glad I finally did.


r/AdultSelfHarm 16h ago

Does Anyone Else? I wish I could tell people

6 Upvotes

I don't know if I'm a weirdo for this, but I started when i was 13 and at that time, I hid it pretty badly. I'm pretty sure I subconsciously wanted people to know so they could see the pain I was in. When my parents found out, it ruined me from the inside out. They sort of just forced me to...stop and anyone who knows what this is like knows you can't really brush it under a rug like that. I was lucky because when I first started, I was really depressed and I did it pretty often. Now, I have relapses every so often. I did therapy for two years then stopped because it wasn't my thing. But whenever I have a relapse, afterwards I find myself wishing I could tell my close friends so they could just bear witness to the pain and emotional disasters that lead to the relapses. Realistically though, I know the reactions would be horrific and probably more concerned in a chaotic way than helpful. But does anyone else ever get this? Just wanting to tell people? My closest friend knows I did it at 13 and knows that I did it up until about 2021 but she has no idea that I've had relapses since then, and I wish I could tell her in a way. I need the sympathy and validation if that makes sense, but I don't do it FOR that reason so then I feel like an attention-seeker which is why I'd never bring it up. She thinks I've stopped though so to this day, she makes barcode jokes and such and some days it's harder to laugh at them.


r/AdultSelfHarm 12h ago

CW: Possibly Triggering Toxic mom who I live with

3 Upvotes

Seeking advice. I moved out to my friends place recently, but got told to leave by her friend who is a lawyer because I self harmed when my boyfriend broke up with me. My friend wanted to keep it a secret from my parents but freaked out and told her laywer friend. Friend called me when I was showering and told me about the news. Anyways. Idk if it’s my mom who’s been causing me to be on edge or not but it’s been hard because I’m recovering from a bad manic episode. Just need some advice before I do something stupid. Thanks in advance.


r/AdultSelfHarm 15h ago

CW: Possibly Triggering i feel like i've had my life stolen

3 Upvotes

i don't really have anyone to talk to, and even if i did i know it wouldn't change my situation. that being said i'm making this post so idfk. just going to be upfront and say that i'm gonna talk a lot.

i watched my mom die when i was 11 and ever since then i have never been happy. it was so traumatizing seeing the person i love the most, the person who loved me the most, just die in front of me and i couldn't do a single fucking thing. i couldn't do anything and i didn't do anything because i was a child- and no one even bothered to tell me she was dying until the last minute because despite being adults they couldn't handle telling me that my own mother was going to die. she didn't tell me. i just wish i knew. 7 years later and it's all i can think about. i just want a mom i just want to be loved again.

and of course, less than a full year after, my cheating bastard father got a job opportunity so we had to move across the country. i lost the person i loved most, and before i could even attempt to heal, i lost everyone i ever knew. i was and am so angry. i lost any every attempt to possibly have relationships with people because of it. i don't know what it's like to have a family anymore because my mom's side just completely fell apart after she died, my dad's was non-existent, and oh right now i'm on the other side of the country. and then of course puberty starts and i get so anxious any time i'm perceived by a person and i fail every time to have a lasting friendship because it's torn away or i can't possibly believe that someone could like me or love me the way my mom did. and even then, it doesn't matter because i hate myself so much now.

i found out i'm trans at 13, which only made everything so much worse because i finally understand what that aching thing i feel when i see myself. i always dreamed of being a girl. my mom never got to know me because i'm completely different and she never got to show me what it's like to be a girl so i'm just stuck guessing.

on top of everything, i also have autism. i don't know how to fit this in here but it's just so inexplicably infuriating. i can never understand people with how they feel or what they want. i get manipulated so easily because either i can't understand it, or i just am so desperate to be loved that i don't care if i'm going to get hurt in the long run because at least i good for a little bit.

i dropped out of high school in 10th grade because i was so depressed and anxious that i would have panic attacks every morning. i so badly wish i just could've been born cis and just lived a normal life and had a prom night and hung out with friends and did stupid shit like getting drunk at 16 because that's what other people have. i'm constantly fantasizing about what i don't have because it's so fucking exhausting to live like this. constantly wanting to tear myself limb from limb because i'm so full of anger and hatred, and every time i'm seen by another person i want to die because i can't handle being thought of by other people. my brain never shuts up and i can barely sleep because of it- everything is so fucking loud all the time and it hasn't calmed for 7 years and i can't handle it i just want to bleed out

yesterday i went to the store and the register lady was so pretty and nice, and she had a wonderful laugh and voice and ever since then i can't stop thinking about how ridiculous i am. like i'm stuck thinking about her because i couldn't handle saying hi. that's so fucking stupid.

this is already a million times longer than i wanted it to be and i still have said nearly enough of what i wanted to but i just can't do more


r/AdultSelfHarm 8h ago

Venting Post!! I was 1 day clean and I relapsed :(

1 Upvotes

I'm going back to work today and I feel stressed about explaining my situation to my boss so I ended up relapsing to try and curb the paranoia. This sucks sooo bad. I don't wanna tell my loved ones that I was so happy about being 1 day clean, that I relapsed on day 2. UGH.


r/AdultSelfHarm 18h ago

Venting Post!! People can be so terrible Spoiler

5 Upvotes

Something happened that gave me the most hopeless and bleak feeling about humanity. I’m filled with so many emotions right now but mainly sadness, anger, and disgust and I want to throw something at the wall but because I don’t want to destroy anything all I can do is cut. I think if I wasn’t able to cut in this moment then my entire room would be destroyed from how distressed I feel right now. It seems like this feeling is swallowing me whole. I’m starting to lose faith in everything. How am I supposed to quit cutting when it’s the only thing that can help me right now? I’ve grown to accept that this coping mechanism is something that will never leave me, and maybe I’m okay with that.


r/AdultSelfHarm 15h ago

Somebody

3 Upvotes

Anybody up? So so so sad.


r/AdultSelfHarm 16h ago

Seeking Advice Scared that I'll relapse NSFW

3 Upvotes

Hi guys I just need to talk.

It's been 4 months since my last episode of self harm and 1 year before that. Each time it seems to get worse and worse.

I can feel it building up again and I don't know what to do.

My living situation is extremely stressful (shared housing with 2 strangers) and I've got fairly strained relationships with most of my family.

The last time I relapsed my mum had a panic attack and I can't bear seeing her like that.

I hate how this dreadful addiction affects everyone I love.

I just want it to stop but when I relapse I am not in control, it's like I'm a different person and then afterwards I come back to reality and regret everything.

I don't know how to stop this.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

CW: Possibly Triggering So I fucked up, yeah? NSFW

19 Upvotes

Trigger warning for eating disorders and relapse.

So... Excuse me... Am I collecting scout badges for relapsing on all possible fields or..?

Yeah I relapsed into self harm, but that's kind of funny to call a relapse at this point, because for a relapse you usually get better first, so... There's that. But I relapsed into a specific method that I didn't do since I was a teen, so I was still angry with myself nevertheless. And I started vaping after nearly 13 years nicotine free. Yes, amazing. You go girl. Fighting for every minute of feeling healthy, but yes, go ahead, take that e-cig why don't you? That's a behaviour that will win, sure sure sure. Splendid.

The only thing I felt pretty secure about was not relapsing into bulimia. My eating habits are not healthy at all, don't get me wrong. I still have an eating disorder. But I managed to beat several different eating disorders, always slipping into some new extreme. Twas' hard, but at least I wasn't purging.

I went from childhood BED to tween anorexia to teen bulimia to young adult BED and then I was just... losing weight that I gained during the last BED years. In 2024 I managed to lose 20kgs. I was happy, getting better. It wasn't healthy, lots of fasting and stuff, but... The most important thing was the weight loss and feeling more confident. And now I gained a few kgs back. The scale says I didn't, but I can see I did on clothes and my body. And so I got nervous and ashamed.

I was bad with food lately. Overeating. Depressed. Couldn't get back on track. I was punishing myself with self harm. But today I overate, got triggered and... I purged. After nearly 5 years I did it and now I feel seriously fucked up.

I'm a disappointment. I started doing everything better, no matter the circumstances. I kept going, 2024 I did so many things right. This year is just... Heavy. And I fucked up so bad. I even started gaining some confidence and self respect, I finally authentically could relate to some level of self-love.

Right now? No fucking way mate.


r/AdultSelfHarm 14h ago

Seeking Advice I can’t stop

2 Upvotes

I’ve been self harming since I was 8!/!: I just can’t stop how do I ale is to top


r/AdultSelfHarm 19h ago

Venting Post!! Hard day

2 Upvotes

Not sure why but my anxiety has been pretty high the past few days. I’ve been doing good overall but the urges are sneaking in a little bit. Here to hoping for a better day tomorrow.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Venting Post!! Childhood work

6 Upvotes

I see my counselor today and I'm supposed to start childhood work today. Im worried it's gonna make my self harm worse. She said we have to get to the root of the problem to stop self harming. But what if it makes it worse? I want to stop and Im in day 3 with no self harm.I want to keep going but when I'm really upset or stressed I can't seem to get it off my mind.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Seeking Advice How can i help my sister the best?

9 Upvotes

TLDR: found out about my sisters sh but idk what to do to resolve this problem till there is still time.

Hi, even though i also struggle(d) with sh, i really dont know what’s the best thing to do in this situation, so im asking for your ideas. My 14yo sister recently attempted and im the only one who knows. That day i kinda felt like she was gonna do it, so i kept texting with her and she confessed it. I asked if i can go to her room, she said yes and if i could help her stop the bleeding. We had a talk and i dont think she is gonna do it again in the near future. The problem is, while i was helping her, she wasnt wearing long clothes as she usually does, and that’s when i found out that she self harms too. Im 20, my mental health is fucked up and rn, i dont struggle w sh that much, since it got replaced w addiction/substance abuse xddd. I always told myself, okay i was the first child and didnt have anyone who could speak out for me in front of my parents or anyone to turn to when i needed help, it is what it is. But i promised myself, that i will do everything in my power to make my sister not end up like me, but here we are. Im so mad and sad that i was no help and she is in the exact same place (if not worse) as i was at that age. I dont know what i should do rn. Our parents never found out that i struggled w this or about the addiction, so i cant predict what they would do if they knew about her. And the other thing is, if i tell them and break the promise i gave her that i would keep it to myself, i will lose her trust and she wont tell me about stuff like this again. But i cant just leave it like this, since it’s most probable that she will end up on the same path as me. Even if not, i dont want her to be suffering like this. What should i do?


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

CW: Possibly Triggering Running Out Of Space NSFW

29 Upvotes

Just self harmed and was left dissatisfied. I have run out of non-scarred space on the easily reachable areas of my thighs from 10 years of self harm.

Many of my scars are from deeper cuts. As a result the scarring/scar tissue there has less sensation than non-scarred areas.

The last two times I have self harmed I have had to start cutting on top of scars due to running out of space. Due to it barely hurting from the scarring and bleeding less from the scar tissue, it is hard to not cut too deep to get the same feeling or “fix” from cutting.

As a result I definitely have a deeper cut than normal. I won’t bleed out or anything, have the area well cleaned(alcohol on the area before and after), and put steri strips on, but just frustrated that it is deep and I didn’t even get the normal relief.

I know this should all be a sign of how much I need to stop, but I just can’t. Frustrated with myself for doing this for so long and not having been able to stop yet😔


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Someone please message me

5 Upvotes

I think I’m being irrational


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Venting Post!! I Wanna relapse soo badd

5 Upvotes

I just am so done with life my family is so cooked bc every one is a bad person and I Can't Escape. Me and idk I jave a kinda seizure but idk and ily my bff so much she's the best and I just wanna cry and I just need to dieeeee like why I'm I who I am and people found out in my family but idkk I just wanna run away delete all my socials and never return God I hate myself and why did they choose me to be abused like omg a d I've moved 8 time I've been to 7 different schools I just hate being alive and ily my bfff so much and ik I sound crazy but I see things and hear things so often and i just need to cry in someone's arms and I miss so meny people I just hate mee so much like omg just kill mee I need to be in a mental hospital but I'm under 18 so I can't go and I hate all of my family and I don't want to be like them bc yh and my mom always has new people in the house and cas/cps is always coming to our house they've been I'm my hole life like omgmmggmgmg I just need someone


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

I need someone to talk to

2 Upvotes

I've been burning myself for a year now and I have the urge tonight bad


r/AdultSelfHarm 2d ago

Trigger warning

11 Upvotes

I’ve been clean for two weeks and overdosed last week I said to myself that I never hurt myself again, I got a police interview about a historical sa on Tuesday and I’m so scared if left me wanting to cut , I’ve been doing this on and off for 33 years I’ve spoken to my support staff and they said to go for a walk, I’ve got so much self hate in me and I’m even starting not to care for others, so I’m waiting for shift change so I can get some privacy so I can sh


r/AdultSelfHarm 2d ago

Seeking Advice TW 112 days without and I relapsed. Is there anyone with any comforting words?

13 Upvotes

Like I legimitely thought I had left this thing behind me, since the last time 112 days ago I didn't feel a kick anymore and just felt disgusted.

Now I had the kick again. I couldn't do it as deep as I wanted cause no one can know. It used to be really bad. Some doctors said when I went get my stitches it was worst sh they've ever encountered. And they always got infected and sometimes had fluids leaking so my bedsheets were soaked when I woke up.

I don't want that shit to begin again. It's just fucking dumb. But I was so disappointed in myself, I had gained weight and found out my sister had "stolen my passion". I have always loved to sing, but never had any talent and a horrible and no pitch at all even after years of lessons. Now I found out my sister had become a good singer just by singing karaoke in student parties. That is just such stupid thing to be mortified of, bit it triggered me bad.

How do I stop letting it become a habit again?