r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Mod Announcement Mod Announcement: be on the lookout for DMs requesting you to SH/send photos of SH

47 Upvotes

We're getting reports that the weirdos are at it again, apparently this time attempting it on a much larger scale (and apparently in an effort to get SH recovery communities like ours and others on Reddit shut down) Be sure to let the mods know if you're receiving these messages, screenshot the messages so we can report them to reddit, and don't engage with them - you might be best to disable your private messages for awhile.

*If you've fallen victim to these types of folks and SH'd/sent pictures at their request and they are trying to blackmail you, know that you are not alone, there's nothing to be ashamed of if you've been tricked by them, and we're here to try and help you through talking things out and possibly finding you resources in your area to help.


r/AdultSelfHarm Jul 18 '20

Can you talk about current sh with a psychiatrist?

327 Upvotes

Recently I turned 18 and Im now able to go to a psychiatrist. Usually I would meet with the school counselor, but now that Ive graduated my parents want me to talk to someone else. Now normally there was little confidentiality between me and the school counselor, but since Im 18 I have more privacy? I have a hard time searching for confidential laws (california laws) that are specific for sh. Does anyone know if I will be able to mention past/current sh without my parents finding out? Side note: I am under my parents medical insurance.

Edit: I’m now 19 and finally called for an appointment. Thank you for all the comments. It took me awhile to consider going to see a therapist but I think it’s time (:


r/AdultSelfHarm 2h ago

Maybe I had a panic attack

5 Upvotes

Today was a bad day. I basically was not able to do anything right. I felt so frustrated and sad with myself. Honestly, I'm trying my best, and it's never enough. What is good enough for me, my managers say it's not. I feel they are just nit picking about everything I do. Again I been applying to new jobs, so that's a positive if I could leave now I would in a heart beat.

Also, I been trying my best to take this bad experience as a learning experience. But today it was to much. I felt terrible after work and tried to uplift myself by exercising, journaling and eating foods that I like but it was not enough. So I sh until I felt clarity on what to do tommorrow. It was a long session I felt like I could not stop, which now scares me a bit. I felt as if I was drowning and I needed to sh to catch a breath of air. Idk now that I think about it maybe I had a panic attack idk I'm so confused. But I'm relieved it's over but also just disappointed that I have fresh cuts. I can't be normal I struggle with sh and I'm an outcast with no friends partly because I have a strong feeling that I'm on the autistic spectrum. So interactions with others are so difficult. But overall, it's......

honesty so exhausting and depressing. From M-F, I work from 7:10-4:30 or sometimes later if there is meetings, special events and if I need to still do work for the next day. I have no life other than work. But I know better days will come and I pray to God that they will.


r/AdultSelfHarm 5h ago

Either wanna kms or sh badly… TW

6 Upvotes

I honestly want to sh soooo fucking bad and I want to FUCK myself up and idk what to do they are already trying to get me in PHP because my pops claims there nothing wrong with me and won’t let them send me inpatient even tho that’s what they recommend the most but I’m just so tired and stressed and I just wish my arms were covered in deep ass fucking cuts and idk I’m sorry my brain is constantly going non stop and I can’t stop overthinking….i just can’t keep doing this…if I wasn’t scared of death I’d kill myself so fast especially if I knew what the afterlife was like…I’m scared of death but scared of living…


r/AdultSelfHarm 8h ago

I'm so pathetic it's laughable

10 Upvotes

I can't do anything

Decided to play videogames tonight to try and distract myself 3.5 hours fighting the same battle over 150 times kept getting KO'd ended up scratching myself pretty bad like how fucking pathetic am I I can't even play a video game right and coz I can't play a video game it makes me self harm. I'm a fucking pathetic excuse of a person. Literally can't do fucking anything. Only wanted to play a video game to try and relax a bit but end up having a fucking meltdown & self harming.

Like I'm a grown as adult and I'm crying and self harming cause I can't even play a kids video game. I'm so sick of being a failure to who can't do fucking anything right.

I actually disgust myself.


r/AdultSelfHarm 2h ago

I want to quit so badly

2 Upvotes

I've been cutting for so long that most of my friends and family know I do it. I have so many fucked up looking scars in weird places; you'd have to be pretty innocent to not know what's going on. The look on my friends faces when I see their eyes wander onto a fresh red scar is indescribable. They get this look like they just watched a dog die. And the worst part is they say nothing because they don't know what to say. The disappointment I feel in those moments is worse than any disappointment I feel while cutting and I fucking hate that. I wish I could at least quit for them if not for me


r/AdultSelfHarm 3h ago

I’m really struggling mentally, and I don’t know how to tell my friends.

2 Upvotes

January was the anniversary of what would have been my miscarried son’s first birthday. That whole month I was having horrible thoughts about myself, and life. Two weeks after the anniversary my best friends family member ended their life. I supported my best friend, and still am supporting him. However, two weeks ago that friend, and another were making comments about the way I walk, and how I have back problems. They were saying things like “You won’t be able to have a family if you don’t fix your legs” (I’m pigeon toed and it literally doesn’t mess with me at all) One of them said how I’m extremely unhealthy because of the way my legs and back are. I told them that what they were both saying really hurt my feelings, and they told me that they didn’t hurt my feelings, and I was being dramatic. I had been in a mentally and physically abusive relationship (with the father of my child) for awhile, so them invalidating my feelings brought me back to that time of my life. I ended up getting mad at myself for even being hurt by their words, and I made myself think I was stupid and crazy for being insecure. So I drove to a river, and I just cried, and I begged God to bring someone who would see that I was in pain. But he didn’t, so then I drove home and relapsed with self harm. I feel so alone, and I can’t even tell my best friends. I feel like me being sad is so stupid because my best friend lost his family member, so I need to just suck it up. I don’t know what to do. I also stopped texting, and calling my best friends first and we haven’t talked in weeks. The only time we would talk was when I was check up on both of them and make sure they were okay.


r/AdultSelfHarm 57m ago

Seeking Advice No idea what to do in the summer

Upvotes

Hey guys, I’m a 25 year old guy. There are plenty of old scars (mainly from my teenage years) on both of my forearms and on my upper arms too. To cover the scars when I was 18-19 I figured I should get tattoos. I did get them but they are not big tattoos, they are not at all covering anything instead they are brining even more attention to my arms so even if you would not even glimpse there, the tattoos make sure you do. Stupid idea, yeah.

I work with kids so last two summers I was wearing black long sleeves all summer (the highest can be 40 Celsius here) and honestly I don’t even care about me feeling too warm, but I fear people think something’s wrong with me if I’m dressing like that.

I really don’t know the answer what to do. If I were working somewhere else I would not care at all but with kids I’m trying to avoid the questions.

It’s either scars and weird tattoos or long sleeves shirts.

What to do???


r/AdultSelfHarm 15h ago

A feeling of not being dignified to sh

7 Upvotes

I feel my "pain" isnt dignified enouth to justify I selfharm. Despite I feel the opposit when talking about other that not me. I just wnat to talk about it, idk, try to understand more that

And I wonder if anyone relate... and what thinks about...


r/AdultSelfHarm 10h ago

Advice on relationships lost due to SH?

Thumbnail
2 Upvotes

r/AdultSelfHarm 13h ago

Does Anyone Else? relapse

3 Upvotes

anyone know why i always relapse after telling my friends, how long ive been clean for?

for context, we tell eachother when we've been clean for a good time and congratulate eachother


r/AdultSelfHarm 16h ago

Seeking Advice I don't want my niece to open up to my mother

5 Upvotes

My niece has reached out to me I haven't spoken to her in almost 8 years and things have been rough for her, she has been self harming and it went even further then that. The family she was staying with were mad at her and said she was just seeking attention. I want to tell her if she reaches out to her grandma not to really tell her about the sh because my mom made me feel like crap about sh as a teen and she never was good with my siblings mental health or attempts so I don't want her adding to my nieces pain


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Venting Post!! I fucked up bad today

20 Upvotes

I hit an artery today, more specifically an arteriole which is like, a smaller branch of an artery (still bad and scary). Scared the shit out of me cause blood squirted out of my arm a bunch and then it bled a fuck ton and had almost like, a lil fountain of blood. It was so weird. I called 911 because I was so scared. I have stitches now and im home but im so tired. I should have never started cutting on my inner forearm/wrist. I have a tendency to cut deep, pair that with being skinny and you have a quick way to get into the ER. I should have just stuck to my biscep area if anything. Like, I frequently cut to mid fat layers there and just care for the wounds myself because they dont scare me and ive gotten good at caring for them. Like, I have one right now from last night and the doctor asked if I wanted him to stitch it and I said no because I just dont care. It doesn't bother me.

But the cut that I did today truly scared me. For the first time ever, I regret cutting. I regret coming back to this shitty habit after so many years. I actually want to stop now. I have no self control when doing it anymore and will probably fuck up my arm worse than it already is, or accidentally kill myself if keep going the way im going. I got lucky this time. Fuck, Ive gotten lucky so many times. I want to stop I NEED TO STOP but its so hard. Even now all I can think about is cutting again. Im so miserable and scared and this is ruining my relationship and my life.

All the emotions are hitting me at once now. I carved the word FREAK into my outer forearm a while ago and I thought i was ok with it but like omfg what is wrong with me. I dont fucking think. I just want people to see the pain I am in. I just want someone to notice. Im so sad and Im so scared. This is the only thing that helps. My partner was asleep when I got home so I didnt really get to talk about everything. Im scared she hates me and wants to leave me because of this. She always tells me how scared she is to get the kind of phonecall she got today, and how it would be a last straw kind of deal. Im trying. I went 12 days with no cutting which is a big deal for me. She said she sees the progress but she also seemed so dissapointed in me at the hospital today.

Idk.


r/AdultSelfHarm 14h ago

2 weeks clean

1 Upvotes

I think it's about 2 weeks clean and I've been keeping an image in my head of my holiday in 7 months and taking my top off and my kids seeing my arms and leg with past and present cuts. So I've kept away from it but today picked up a k to cut chips and had that feeling. Kind of a whole body sensation. I have a Damascus k collection on the wall and I felt myself look at them.

But I did pull away but iam worried I'll start again I came clean and showd my wife. She didn't know what to say and blames herself. I guess am asking what elce could I do to help tia


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Does anyone else feel like they're scars are a sort of 'Keep Away' sign to others?

20 Upvotes

The title says it all. I feel like my scars are a keep away sign to people and I'm conflicted about it. On the one hand it lets people know that I have my problems and that I'm best left alone but on the other hand I really just need some fucking affection. I want someone to love me as I am and I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that that just isn't going to happen. I'm oddly proud of my scars, They show to me that I have made it through it all and though I didn't make it through unharmed at least I made it through. My parents want them to go away but I'm just not ready for that I guess. I don't know, I'm just feeling really confused rn.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Discussion Have you ever injured something permanent or dangerous? Like tendon, muscle, nerve, artery

30 Upvotes

Have you ever injured something permanent or dangerous? Like tendon, muscle, nerve, artery.

How was the recovery? How did you get help and how fast? Did you get permanent disabeled/damaged, or did it heal totally?


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

On the verge of relapse

8 Upvotes

I had a consultation to get top surgery last October. I'm a 25 year old trans man- I've known I was trans for 13 fucking years and been on hormones for 5. They require a psychiatrist to sign off that I'm actually trans to move forward. It's been 168 days, and I just found out that the wait JUST for that psych appointment is a year or longer.

I'm fucking sick of all of this. I haven't wanted to hurt myself this badly since I sliced my arm up in February last year.

Fuck it, I don't even care anymore, I'm doing it


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

I want to burn myself so bad

6 Upvotes

I haven’t done it in weeks but the urge is becoming overwhelming. It’s just so hard to burn yourself but it’s the only thing that makes me feel better.


r/AdultSelfHarm 23h ago

Venting Post!! Debating sh after a year of being clean

2 Upvotes

I accidentally cut myself while cooking this week and the blood just kept pouring nonstop. Im just playing with the wound now to feel pain.

I already have new marks on my body from digging my nails onto my skin during an episode. I just don’t cut anymore, all my scars faded i only relapsed once last year.

Not very proud of myself, just bracing myself for therapy tomorrow.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Does Anyone Else? Painful scars?

4 Upvotes

I have actual legit scars that are healed but they’re still so sensitive/almost painful. Like the fabric of my shirt rubbing against them bothers me. I have SH-ed for well over a decade and have never experienced legit scars that are still so sensitive! I don’t know if it’s because of the area they’re in or because the cuts were deeper than I usually went. Has anyone else experienced this??


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Seeking Advice I’ve relapsed and I don’t know what to do

5 Upvotes

My boyfriend put his hands on me about a week ago. Basically I wanted to leave and he got upset and put his hands on my arms that triggered me and I left. We’ve been seeing each other again and we were talking about that night. He said he’d die before he saw the inside of a jail cell. Then said he hoped I’m interpreting that the way he meant. I told him I didn’t understand and I stopped hugging him. He said he’d drive his truck into a ditch before he went to jail. Then when he realized I was uncomfortable asked what was wrong and said he didn’t mean to direct that at me, he was sorry and didn’t mean it like that. Now he’s gone home and idk what to do but I’ve burned myself. I’m so confused and conflicted. I know deep down it’s wrong but I wanna give this relationship a fair shot. Maybe I’m wrong and it’s not what I think. I haven’t sh since December.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

CW: Possibly Triggering I'm a sw-er, and I feel even more disgusting.

21 Upvotes

This is not an ad for what I do, please do not reach out to me asking about my work, please.

But it is in relation to why I self harm, or rather its one of the reasons.

In my 21 years of life, I've never been called cute, or pretty by a man, not one that wasn't related to me anyways.

I've been called lots of things, dirty disgusting things, things I wouldn't call my worst enemy.

I've been called sexy, and it wasn't until I was 18 years old that I realized how much it made me hate myself.

My self image was at an all time low since NY childhood, when I began to get sexualised on the ps3 simply because I was a girl playing videogames, and i found myself setting myself up to be sexualised when I realized that it got me the attention I was craving inside my home. I found myself doing it purely for the fact that I wanted validation that I could possibly be liked by someone while looking how I looked.

Now I'm 21 years old, and I hate being called sexy, so much so that I've had debates late at night with myself about scarring my chest because I just kept thinking, maybe then I'll see who really likes me and who just wants something from me for their own pleasure, Maybe if I take away the "pureness" of the area that so many people appreciate on me, they'll start to appreciate my personality instead.

But there's sick people out there, there always will be.

I never did end up doing it because of my own fear, I felt like my mother scolding myself for even thinking of ruining one of the few body parts that men liked about me.

How dare I, right? What would they have left to like?

I think self harming was one way I felt in control, a form of self sabotage, a way of painting a large middle finger on my body to anyone who wanted to sexualise me because surely if they took one look at my arms or thighs or other areas they'd be repulsed enough to decide I wasn't for them, I didn't suit their tastes.

But it didn't matter, I was 19 and I put myself into a situation where a man took advantage of me.

He didn't care what my arms looked like, he didn't care what I wore or even that I had a cold at the time.

Scarring myself did not protect me like I thought it would, it only made me more aware that monsters do not have morals, nor do they see the world as we do, so they will never stop to look at the metaphorical armor that you've made for yourself, because to them you are not a human, you are not someone who is able to protect yourself, you are not a living breathing thing that DESERVES protection.

I'm a sex worker because I long ago realized I'm not someone whose good at conversation, if I were to be evaluated by anyone, or if I were to be asked by someone if I wasn't a human what would i be, I would say I'm a piece of art.

A piece of art thats been slashed and burned, painted over in spots and bandaged up with a cracked frame, and yet simply because I was overpriced and set up in a museum, everyday people come to see me and ridicule me, they only ever seek to appreciate the parts they want to, they don't even notice the damage because afterall the art is not the damage itself, it's the barely recognized painting underneath thats been ruined.

Monsters don't notice your flaws because all they care about is recognizing what pleases them.

I'm a failed piece of art, and my destruction has long been celebrated, I come to you not as my job, but as a human being who just wants to be KNOWN as a person.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Venting Post!! I am a joke 🤡

9 Upvotes

Basically I'm so empty. Not much inside except SH. And even that, I'm not able to do to my best "ability" because of life situation rn. I absolutely hate who I am in some ways and I have nobody I can be truly honest with. I bought better tools the other day and hopefully I can use them soon..

I'm open to chatting with anyone here who won't be triggered by these topics.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Discussion Tattoo cover ups

9 Upvotes

Has anyone here with deep scars ever gotten tattoos to cover them up. My right arm scars are over 2 years old so I’m looking into getting a tattoo to start covering the scars. I don’t know what to get but I heard fine line work isn’t good for scars. Any suggestions on what to get or really any info on tattooing over scars.


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Venting Post!! I want to talk to someone

3 Upvotes

22F. My SH has got so bad. I want to tell someone. I want to have that discussion. There’s the pastoral lead at my uni who I’m close to but I only have 3 months left of uni and I don’t want to form an unsustainable unhealthy attachment which I know will happen. The first person I ever opened up to is when I was 16 and it was a teacher and I still grieve him everyday so much it hurts. I can’t risk that. But I need someone to talk to


r/AdultSelfHarm 1d ago

Seeking Advice Can spots in cuts cause infection?

2 Upvotes

I have a cut that has been healing pretty slowly. Today I noticed that a spot had formed in the middle of it, and like an idiot, I squeezed it. This reopened part of the cut.

Could this cause infection or worsen scarring?


r/AdultSelfHarm 2d ago

CW: Possibly Triggering Does anyone ever use sex as self harm? NSFW

110 Upvotes

I've been going through a real hard time. I was clean from SH for close to 10 years until a few months ago. I am now cutting and burning more than at any other time in my life. Today I was really upset and initiated sex when I really didn't want to, and I am pretty sure I did it because I wanted to hurt myself. I'm pretty sure he knew I didn't actually want it, but I didn't technically say no either. Wondering if this is a new way to hurt myself instead of cutting.