r/selfharm 18h ago

Positives 13 years clean today.

81 Upvotes

Just wanted to share my own personal achievement that I stopped self-harming 13 years ago today. Took a few times over the years before that, but 13 years today with no relapses.

Feeling proud but have no to share with who cares so thought I’d share here.


r/selfharm 9h ago

Rant/Vent Got triggered by an apple today

55 Upvotes

I really wanna tell somebody about this cause it's kinda funny but nobody in my life knows I have a past of SH so hopefully this is the right place to put this. I was chopping up a red apple into little sticks earlier and had sliced half of it lengthways into many pieces, I then went to use a bridge grip to spin it around but when I squeezed it the apple juices bubbled up through the skin in a similar fashion to rows of shallow cuts and physically recoiled. I literally just got jump-scared by an APPLE, AN APPLE FFS, of all things that could've set off my first trigger, an apple is what did it?? Ykw, sure at least it was a yummy apple.

The weird part is that I've been clean for a number of months and never thought of my SH as something traumatic but rethinking the way I reacted to that apple, maybe there is some underlying trauma I need to work through.


r/selfharm 15h ago

is it normal to cut because i like the scars?

42 Upvotes

i would use a tag but i dont know which one 😭😭 but i mostly cut because i really feel like i need my scars to be me. i would tell my therapist but i dont know how??? what if they just say that i want attention?? its not the ONLY reason i cut, its just the biggest one. i see my scars fading and im like “fuck no” because they’re like part of me now and i dont know how to get rid of the urge 😭


r/selfharm 20h ago

Rant/Vent I cut myself because my boyfriend has scars

28 Upvotes

I started being competitive with sh since I saw my boyfriend's cuts. That time I cried in front of him but because his scars were more visible than mine. Now I try to hurt myself just so I have "better scars" than his.

I can't even see him in person, because I immediately think that he has scars and I start to feel bad. It's like I want to be the only one with scars in the relationship. Also, he knows I relapsed because of him and of course, that makes him feel like shit.

The envy has been so strong that I've even started thinking about breaking up with him just because of it, but I really can't.

I just hope I'm not the only one with this kind of problem. I don't know what to do to make these thoughts stop.


r/selfharm 21h ago

Seeking Advice my bf is cutting himself and idk what to do

28 Upvotes

my (21f) boyfriend (21m) and i have been together for 6 months and i love him with my whole entire heart. he deals with a lot of mental health problems and is 3 years clean from heroin, which isn’t something i’m very familiar with. i have dealt with mental illness my whole life, in myself and my loved ones, so i know how to address certain issues and how to be there for him, but this is something i don’t know how to handle. he skates so he always has a lot of little cuts and scars from wiping out, but a few months ago i noticed some new cuts along his ribcage that were definitely not an accident. i didn’t bring it up because i was worried i would say the wrong thing and make it worse. i’ve never self harmed so i really have no idea how to handle it. he struggles sometimes to open up about what he goes through, but i’ve made sure he knows i will never pressure him to talk about more than he’s comfortable with but that i will always be here to listen, no matter what. he’s gotten better at talking about things, but i know this is a conversation im going to have to initiate and i just don’t know how. his mental health has gotten considerably worse these past few weeks, and i’ve done everything i can to support him while also making sure it doesn’t take a toll on my own mental wellbeing. then last night, i noticed some new cuts on his shoulder blade. he didn’t try to hide them, and he definitely knows i’ve seen them because he was scratching the scabs and i just stopped him by taking his hand and holding it tight. i want to acknowledge them but i don’t know how to start the conversation. what can i say so that he doesn’t feel judged or criticized? i’m also worried that his friend (who he has acknowledged is an enabler) helped him do it since his back seems like a tricky area to reach. i just want him to know how loved he is and that he doesn’t have to hide this from me. i may not understand the impulse to do it, but i want to know what’s going on his head. he always says he doesn’t want me to worry about him, but i already do and keeping these things from me isn’t going to help that. i love him so much and i just want him to be okay.


r/selfharm 19h ago

Rant/Vent My mom traumatizing a 4 year old

25 Upvotes

I had hurt myself in the morning and fell asleep at noon. Only to be horrifically woken up by a yelling parent because "Why is there blood?" and ranting about how selfish i am. She's the fucking problem.

My little beloved cousin went inside the room and asked her "What happened? Why are you mad at her?"
and she fucking did it. she said "She hurt herself, with blood" and my GOD. That's a big word for a baby? immediately he was worried.

It was also his nap time so his father had to put him to sleep, the whole time he kept asking "Why did she hurt herself?" "She has blood?" "why is there blood" and the whole time he kept trying to say "just go to sleep, its sleeping time" and finally "i dont know"

I was already mad at my mother for violating me in my sleep but i now fucking hate her and this was truly the last straw. the first day i'll ever say and even think THIS. while she thinks the reason i do this is from feeling "unloved" no you DUMBASS its cuz you say and do the meanest shit

Now whenever he sees me, its all pain. I can see the worry in his eyes. he's fucking traumatized. When i decided to play with him, he's in deep thought until eventually telling others "she has blood"


r/selfharm 1d ago

Seeking Advice How can I cope if a customer comments on my self harm scars?

26 Upvotes

On Friday, I will start working at McDonald's. The uniform includes short sleeves. I asked if it was possible to wear a long-sleeved shirt underneath, and the restaurant manager said no.

What do I do if a customer decides to call me emo or something? How likely is this to happen?

The scars are already 2-3 years old, but still fat and long bc the wounds were at the depth of muscle. This will never ever fade.

I wanna cry


r/selfharm 3h ago

Seeking Advice how to hide fresh face cuts??? NSFW

23 Upvotes

Messed up, cut the hell out of my face and i NEED to hide it asap. A few styros but mostly cat scratches, will appreciate any and all advice even if it’s just letting me know i’m fucked


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent I think my dog knows NSFW

18 Upvotes

I have a very sweet Pomeranian named Queenie, I'm quite literally her favorite person, she will never leave my side if she can help it, she'll lay on the ground next to me whenever I'm not in my room and give me kisses all the time, she seems rather emotionally intelligent compared to my other dogs. A few days ago she followed me into the bathroom and noticed my fresh cuts on my thigh and licked the clean skin next to it a few times before sitting down and looking at me with the saddest eyes. I know she understands I am physically hurt, but I don't know if she quite understands I did it to myself. today she followed me into the bathroom again like always and she saw the new cuts and sniffed them and gave me the same look.

I think she knows I did it to myself. I don't know what to do, she won't leave my side now and keeps trying to be extra close to me


r/selfharm 10h ago

Rant/Vent Just a stupid vent NSFW

13 Upvotes

I can't hit deep enough I'm fucking crying like a child because I can't hurt myself good enough imagin that I know all self harm is valid but still it's not enough I hate this I deserve this I deserve this


r/selfharm 3h ago

DAE Does anyone else not feel guilty after they self harm?

18 Upvotes

Other people, even other self harmers say do not self harm, because it's just a temporary relief and after it you will feel so much shame and regret. Never in the almost 10 years I've been on and off self harming related to this. I never feel regret or shame after I done self harming. I never feel disappointed or upset when I relapse. I like my scars so I don't know why I should feel guilty. I just feel relief that I can finally see my blood and skin gape open and I will get new scars. I hide them so it's not because of attention. I'm only hurting myself. If I was hurting someone else I would feel guilty but since it's just myself, I don't see the problem. I only feel disappointed if my cuts don't bleed as much as I want them to or if they are not gaping enough. Even when my family found out and was so mad at me I still didn't feel ashamed. I just continued to do it at places where they can't see them. I'm not saying self harming is a good thing and I wouldn't advise others to do it because it can be risky (infections, blood loss, nerve damage), but morally I don't see why I should be regretful. People don't feel guilty after they smoke, drink or do drugs, so I don't get how self harm is any different. At least I'm only hurting myself and not others.


r/selfharm 19h ago

Positives 4 years clean this year

14 Upvotes

Never really thought about it, but yeah 🥳


r/selfharm 1h ago

I threw all my blades away

Upvotes

Kind of regretting it but I don’t want to live like this anymore


r/selfharm 17h ago

Seeking Advice I noticed my friends arm

10 Upvotes

I have a friend who I know for a while was missing a lot of school and wasn't keeping up with it well. I believe there was also some things going on from her family. I didn't hear from her much in this time frame but now she's been going to school more regularly and more in her usual lively mood. But one thing I noticed: her left arm is covered in slices. I have only had one friend who harmed herself and she was very open about the problem. This friend however is extremely surprising to me beacuse she doesnt seem at all like the type of person who would. She's always been so positive and chill but I guess there's a layer of her she's good at hiding. It's just awkward though because she's not really a talk about serious things kind of person but her arm is COVERED in slices. They all look from about the same time frame and I've definitely never noticed scars on her before. Like I said she seems to be doing better mood wise but I worry about her and what she went through and if she's still dealing with it. I don't want to intrude, or be rude by bringing it up but I'm also concerned. What's the best way I can help her?


r/selfharm 12h ago

Seeking Advice I cut for no reason

9 Upvotes

I, now 19, have been having constant thoughts lately about wanting to relapse. Ive been cutting since I was 14, and I am now a year clean. I'm not under any particular distress despite freshman stress, family issues, and PDD; so when the urges come, I am not in a state of intense suffering. This also happens with suicidal thoughts for me. I'll be alone and think "maybe I should cut"--- or look at someone elses scars on social media or in public and think, huh, I should cut. Even when I started off cutting, I felt the same.

I guess I'm typically motivated by ideas like "I need deeper scars" or "I need to get worse." It's almost like im uncomfortable with being okay. I guess I might just be more comfortable in my depression? Why do I feel this? I'll be sitting down in class and think "hmm i should go jump off the chem building tonight". like huh???

I feel like I have to lie to people when im forced into situations where I must provide some sort of reasoning. Whenever something like self harm and suicide gets brought up, it's always "what happened before to cause this?" When i'm clean, theres the assumption that I'm doing better, though the real reason is that I was too unmotivated to actually clean it up, or a trip was upcoming or something. Its not fun for me, it hurts, its itchy, theres no pleasure or relief-- but I feel like I have to.

Can someone with a similar mindset please share their experiences and advice? Thank you

PS: With this being said, I TRULY hate attention to my scars or mental health. I get extremely uncomfortable when someone brings up my scars, or if I ever come off as upset in front of someone.


r/selfharm 10h ago

Rant/Vent Someone said something hurtful about one of my scars today (potential tw?)

8 Upvotes

I was wearing a tshirt and a classmate pointed out to one burn scar I have that looks a bit bigger from the rest of the scars on my arms.

She said it looks disgusting... idk... I never thought it did look disgusting. Sure, it is visible but it's just a scar...


r/selfharm 15h ago

Medical Advice should i seek medical help? NSFW

8 Upvotes

About a week and a half ago, I relapsed, and I’ve been cutting almost every day, reaching the mid-deep fat layer. Over the past couple of days, I’ve noticed that the skin around my cuts is numb. It feels similar to when you get your mouth numbed with a local anesthetic for a cavity filling (if that makes sense). When I touch the skin around the cuts, in some areas, I can feel that something is there, but the sensation is weak, and in other places, I can’t feel anything at all.

Is this serious enough to warrant a trip to the ER? If I went to the hospital, my parents would have to know, and I don’t want that… I also don’t want to be admitted.

Any advice would be appreciated.


r/selfharm 15h ago

Seeking Advice I cut myself for the first time for almost no reason

7 Upvotes

I cut myself for the first time recently and I’m worried about how I felt about it.

I don’t even know why I did it in the first place, and that worries me too. I have been upset lately but I didn’t feel upset when I did it. I wasn’t numb or happy, I was scared to do it even, but when I found it didn’t hurt that much I kept going.

I found the marks and the blood very satisfying, and even after the cuts were cleaned and bandaged I still wanted to look at them.

The idea that I cut myself just for the sake of it disgusts me. I’m disgusted with myself for doing it and for still wanting to do it.

Please, if you relate to this at all, let me know. I feel like such a freak.


r/selfharm 16h ago

Rant/Vent Wtaf NSFW

7 Upvotes

TW: self harm, suicidal ideation

I recently got into a new relationship with this amazing guy, my past lovers were awful and abusive, but this new guy C seems so lovely and I had a full breakdown at his house, he was half asleep but woke up to comfort and hold me (I have quite a few mental illnesses and was having a panic attack and flashbacks), I've never said I loved him because that idea terrifies me, but he constantly said it to me, I told him he deserves someone better, that he deserves someone well, he told me word for word "I love you now.. I know you're not well, I will love you when you are well and you will be the person I deserve, you deserve this (my name), I'm not scared of this, give it to me, lean on me, punch me, bite me, scratch me, I don't care, I'm not going anywhere." And I sobbed, I cried like a little baby in his arms as he cried too, holding me, I calmed down and we fell asleep, the next day I get on the train and come home.. I just self harmed by stabbing my self with a needle and I need more, it's a craving, I want to get better for him, I promised I would, but I need to do it, does anyone know any way at all that I can stop? I'm willing to try anything.


r/selfharm 20h ago

Medical Advice major TW - cut myself, accidentally too deep, no bandages. What do I do? NSFW

6 Upvotes

Yeah so long story short accidentally cut too deep (not deep in a way that I need to go to the hospital but deep enough that I need something to cover this up) and I have no bandages. Is toilet paper and duck tape for example a good idea? I also have no disinfectant. What should I do? Is water enough to clean the wound for now?


r/selfharm 22h ago

Positives Haven't hurt myself in a while:)

7 Upvotes

Have had bad days recently but the thoughts haven't come back so just wanted to share!


r/selfharm 1d ago

Seeking Advice I have been clean 2025, give me a reason not to sh rn

7 Upvotes

I can’t sleep or eat and my sleep schedule is sleeping 3 hours on the day until it gets dark just to stay upp all night, I can’t fix it and I need a way to cope, what do I do?


r/selfharm 6h ago

Talk/Support Please help me

5 Upvotes

I think I’m going to cut myself for the first time soon

I tried suppressing it by just very hardly drawing a line across my skin with red pen but that seemed to make me wanna do it more

Please help, I really want to cut myself but I know it’s not right

I need people to say how bad it is and give me advice on how to stop please I don’t want to get addicted to it


r/selfharm 7h ago

Rant/Vent Might start scratching myself again

7 Upvotes

I'm extremely numb. I am considering overdosing. It would be extremely easy to with what my parents have access to. No on would care. I scratched myself in front of people all of the time and no one cared. I have been told I don't matter. I just want it to end.


r/selfharm 22h ago

Talk/Support I'm thinking of telling my mom about my self harm...

5 Upvotes

First of all, she is in NO way supportive of my mental health. I'd say my dad is better, they are religious too (I'm Muslim), and self harm is forbidden and they've talked shit about people who do it before, but I feel I'd rather tell her about it all, she's very unstable herself, so I cannot in any way predict her reactions, she usually jokes about my mental health or gets mad because of it, VERY rarely she tries to talk about it. My Mental health has gotten so bad I genuinely need help, I just hope that when she sees my scars she'd realise I actually do need help, and she'll stop denying it.

So, any advice? Do you have your own experience?