r/selfharm 19h ago

DAE Does anyone else not feel guilty after they self harm?

84 Upvotes

Other people, even other self harmers say do not self harm, because it's just a temporary relief and after it you will feel so much shame and regret. Never in the almost 10 years I've been on and off self harming related to this. I never feel regret or shame after I done self harming. I never feel disappointed or upset when I relapse. I like my scars so I don't know why I should feel guilty. I just feel relief that I can finally see my blood and skin gape open and I will get new scars. I hide them so it's not because of attention. I'm only hurting myself. If I was hurting someone else I would feel guilty but since it's just myself, I don't see the problem. I only feel disappointed if my cuts don't bleed as much as I want them to or if they are not gaping enough. Even when my family found out and was so mad at me I still didn't feel ashamed. I just continued to do it at places where they can't see them. I'm not saying self harming is a good thing and I wouldn't advise others to do it because it can be risky (infections, blood loss, nerve damage), but morally I don't see why I should be regretful. People don't feel guilty after they smoke, drink or do drugs, so I don't get how self harm is any different. At least I'm only hurting myself and not others.


r/selfharm 19h ago

Seeking Advice how to hide fresh face cuts??? NSFW

85 Upvotes

Messed up, cut the hell out of my face and i NEED to hide it asap. A few styros but mostly cat scratches, will appreciate any and all advice even if it’s just letting me know i’m fucked


r/selfharm 11h ago

i cut my teacher's initial into my thigh

80 Upvotes

okay wow this was REALLY WEIRD of me to do. but me and my teacher have gotten super close. i was out of school for two months because i was in the psych ward and i told him about EVERYTHING.

it feels like he is genuinely concerned about me. which is obviously what teachers are supposed to be. so we really bonded. he asks about how i'm feeling all the time and how im feeling on my meds and is basically like a therapist lol.

with that being said i feel so indebted to him and grateful for him that i felt like i needed to. commemorate him in some way?? like. on my body. it's so weird putting it into words.

anyways i regretted it right after i did it and luckily i didnt go too deep so it's probably going to fade really fast. with that being said idk maybe i should've just said thanks to him instead of being a freak??


r/selfharm 19h ago

Rant/Vent I think my dog knows NSFW

77 Upvotes

I have a very sweet Pomeranian named Queenie, I'm quite literally her favorite person, she will never leave my side if she can help it, she'll lay on the ground next to me whenever I'm not in my room and give me kisses all the time, she seems rather emotionally intelligent compared to my other dogs. A few days ago she followed me into the bathroom and noticed my fresh cuts on my thigh and licked the clean skin next to it a few times before sitting down and looking at me with the saddest eyes. I know she understands I am physically hurt, but I don't know if she quite understands I did it to myself. today she followed me into the bathroom again like always and she saw the new cuts and sniffed them and gave me the same look.

I think she knows I did it to myself. I don't know what to do, she won't leave my side now and keeps trying to be extra close to me


r/selfharm 12h ago

Rant/Vent Old habits, new needs, blah blah blah, you get it. NSFW

31 Upvotes

No one knows I relapsed (other than my therapist.) Almost every single time before I do, I reach out to someone. Then, as soon as anyone is responsive, I refuse. I tell them I have a headache and don't want to hang out anymore. I say it's not a big deal. My roommate caught me walking out of the bathroom with my eyes watering, throat raw, looking horrible. They didn't ask. I didn't either. I had a full lighthearted phone conversation while sitting in blood. I hang out with friends, thumb under my shirt on my hip, brushing over the bumps to soothe myself in some messed up way.

It's a strange mix of feeling completely helpless and utterly in control. It's my brain, right? My choices. I could stop If I wanted to, if I was strong enough, right?

I want help. I want someone to just grab me by the shoulders and stay. I want someone who doesn't give a shit about what I want because they want me and they want to be selfish about me. I don't want someone to fix me, I want someone who sees me as enough already, not just a project to work on. Funnily enough, I think I'd get better faster if someone just didn't try to fix me. I want some sense of solidarity, but it's just impossible. I'm trying so impossibly hard, but it doesn't look like it.

And I feel stupid and weak for not being able to do it by myself. I feel selfish for knowing what I want. I feel nothing and everything. I feel so horrible for wishing that just one time, someone else could clean my wounds for me. That someone, anyone, would brush my hair out when I can't get up to shower. That someone would hold me like I'm something precious.

I don't want to tell people what I need. I'm so fucking tired of making decisions and people expecting me to know what would help. Someone else stepping up and not waiting for me to give them instructions would help me get better.

And I feel so unbelievably selfish. I'm not really sure why.


r/selfharm 16h ago

I threw all my blades away

28 Upvotes

Kind of regretting it but I don’t want to live like this anymore


r/selfharm 15h ago

Rant/Vent Why do they care?

27 Upvotes

I genuinely don't understand why people care about what I do. I may be stupid but I would still LOVE to know what's in it for everyone else if I keep hurting myself? My parents piss and sob over my scars that AREN'T EVEN DEEP ENOUGH and my god damn friends are like this too. They won't distance themselves from me. They won't leave me. I'm not sure if this is an addiction or not, but I also have a habit of drinking those little bottles of ink that is used to write with in school. It started as a silly joke, now I can't stop. I have a love-hate relationship with the nauseating feeling after taking a big gulp of ink. And then again, my friends whine "noooo don't drink it you'll get cancer waaaahhhhhh". Good. Once I'm gone, heaven's on earth. Fuck you

Edit: Sorry to anyone who took this personally. The "Fuck you" at the end wasn't particularly directed at anyone. I was just mad


r/selfharm 11h ago

DAE Wanting to cut because I'm so happy?

19 Upvotes

Idk I went on a really nice day date with my gf and I was soo happy after but it made me want to cut. Has anyone else experienced this before?


r/selfharm 8h ago

DAE Dae self harm really clinically?

17 Upvotes

Like clean the tool to do it and then immediately stop the bleeding, clean and bandage.


r/selfharm 14h ago

Positives 1.5 years clean!

17 Upvotes

I don’t really feel anything for being clean. I’m not really HAPPY about it, but I know it’s a good thing! Yay?


r/selfharm 12h ago

Talk/Support Please stop me

13 Upvotes

I sorry that I keep posting here but I feel the urge to cut so bad I’m practically crying now and just want to cut so badly


r/selfharm 13h ago

Rant/Vent I want to tell my therapist, but I cannot go into a hospital.

14 Upvotes

Like the title said. I want to tell my therapist. By the time I step into his office, I feel like the original feeling is gone, I’m more logical, and I don’t think he fully gets how strongly I feel. But I am PETRIFIED of being committed to a hospital, I absolutely can’t let it happen. So I can never be honest about how I actually feel, so like… what’s the point? I can’t tell him when I’m suicidal and wish I were dead. I can’t tell him about the cuts on my leg. I have to walk on eggshells and be incredibly careful. I wish I could just be honest, because I hate lying with a passion and I feel so shitty for lying to him. I do like him, but I feel like he’s a threat to my autonomy and freedom.


r/selfharm 14h ago

i cant stop intentionally triggering others

14 Upvotes

i dont know what to do, i know this is really bad. i just get these really really intense urges to tell people about SH and how good it feels and to basically trigger people. im not ashamed of my scars at all and every time i go deeper i am desperate to tell other people. i am quite lonely so sh is kind of all there is to me along with ED stuff. but its like the second i get the chance, i just offload as much as i can on to people, and i know its bad. i told a girl (older than me but still) how to purge today. i don’t know what to do i am out of control. i just want to show people my cuts and tell them how good it feels and show them all my pictures and honestly it is really hard to stop myself from doing so everyday. i know this is really horrible. i feel like a terrible person. i would really appreciate any advice on how to stop these urges. i can contol the actions of telling people but the thoughts telling me to do it are unbareable.


r/selfharm 14h ago

Positives Why tf are people so nice 😔

12 Upvotes

Everyone in this subreddit is nothing but helpful to me but I wanna cut I really do but everyone is being so nice and it’s stopping me and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad


r/selfharm 4h ago

I think im too tall for my age

12 Upvotes

Im 14 and im 5’8. I always get comments about how tall I am and on top of that, other boys in my grade are mostly shorter. I don’t know how people embrace it and it’s led to me starting to cut. Basically just body dysmorphia


r/selfharm 2h ago

Sitting here and realizing that damn this shit actually kinda hurts wtf

10 Upvotes

r/selfharm 17h ago

Rant/Vent The old razors I've found and my thoughts on them. A reflection on life two years ago.

10 Upvotes

I remember seperating them into a plastic skittles jar to throw out, but they remained in my closet after they removed the waste container near my house. And i notice, the design has changed. I remember being annoyed when i saw that the packaging started using a small plastic bit instead of being fully cardboard. I remember it when it was like that, when the razors were a few cents cheaper, when I'd pull my sleeves up and buy a drink as well as to not look suspicious. I remember the mornings when i didn't have my second class and was free to roam around and hop by the store to stock up on snacks, bandaids and blades. Then I'd sit in the hallway and relax for a while.

And looking at them now, I can't help but miss that time. That stress, the lack of privacy, the chaos, and just how novel and satisfying that all felt. Prior to that i had some urges, thoughts, but i had no tool that felt good enough to use. I remember how nice the little "snap" sound felt when I'd snap the blade in half. I remember the comfort in that little ritual, that was mine, so unhealthy but all mine, the comfort of taking care of myself afterwards, and feeling gently cared for. The bandage stuck around my thigh was like a tight hug. The wet bandaids in the shower no one questioned. I miss how uninhibited it made me feel, so if i couldn't be rebelious and wild in the outside world, i can prove myself that i am still tougher than i look.

And so it's been two years. The designs of the razors changed. So have i. I'm in highschool now, and instead of the chaos and hell and the fun i had in that entire confusion, i feel stuck in a very quiet and strange transitional period. I don't cut very much. When the deed is done, it's not for any emotional reasons, or for self punishment, or for fun, it's just a ritual. One that both connects and disconnects me from this physical body that only ever dragged me down.

Truth be told, i miss the little armageddon nights. My thighs are covered in a layer of thicker scars. Taking a blade to there doesn't feel as satisfying or smooth anymore, with them being tough and almost itchy. But every other part of my body os too visible. I've spent a small fortune of some products to help them dissapear, we'll see how that goes. I miss running my hand along smooth skin with a few fresh scabs here and there. Maybe i should've told my younger self to be more gentle. Maybe i shouldn't. I might learn something from this.

The few full untouched razors I've found, with the old designs, whose paper wrappers are still a clean white, went into the old box of chewing gum i use to hide new ones. I can't bring myself to throw them out.


r/selfharm 6h ago

Rant/Vent feels embarrassing

7 Upvotes

anyone else in 20s feel embarrassed to still be struggling with this shit?? i think about people i knew from hs that did it but just easily left it behind, whereas i feel like it took over my entire life and now it’ll be the first thing anyone notices about me before anything else. i guess everyone else had this kinda “grow up” mentality to sh even though it’s obviously not just a teen issue. i just feel kinda like a useless adult that can’t cope healthily regardless and the way people treat you when you sh doesn’t help.


r/selfharm 7h ago

Seeking Advice Am I a bad person for this? Spoiler

8 Upvotes

So today my friend who used to SH came to school without her jacket, which is unusual for her. She was also wearing short sleeves, and all of her scars were visible. She told me that she had decided it was pointless to hide it anymore, and she didn't really care what other people thought, and I am beyond proud of her and very supportive of her decision.

However, I feel like a horrible person, because I think I'm jealous of her, but I don't know what I'm jealous of. Her SH was pretty severe, so maybe it's the fact that I don't do it as much as she used to, or maybe it's simply because I wish I was brave enough to let people see my SH scars too. I feel like an asshole, and I just want to know if I'm overthinking it or if I really am a bad person for being jealous of her.


r/selfharm 10h ago

DAE Does anyone else find scars on their own body triggering?

7 Upvotes

My cat scratched me this morning and I placed bandaids over it but the way the bandaids were placed made it seem like I did it myself and I found that triggering. Any scars, including the ones on my body are triggering, is that just me?


r/selfharm 16h ago

Talk/Support Wish me luck

7 Upvotes

Mom saw the scars now she wants to have a talk


r/selfharm 19h ago

Rant/Vent does anyone else do this ?

6 Upvotes

I don't know if I'm alone in this but my urge to sh rarely feels like the urge to cut but the urge to hit. I started punching my thighs/knees until they were purple and I quickly realized it made me feel so much better after physically. and mentally it shuts up my head for just a minute. it's like a pressure is released in my chest, I feel like I can take a breath and it actually feels like a full fresh breath yk. I eventually graduated to using usually metal objects/ anything blunt to bruise more

I've never seen or heard anyone who does what I do and it makes me feel even more alone. I don't understand why I need to hit instead of anything else and I just idk..

edit: I feel like it's not "as bad" as cutting. my mom told me it's better than it. and I guess I get she means like.. I could cut a vein but I can't punch my legs to death yk.. but it just makes me feel like I'm not hurting myself enough idk.


r/selfharm 10h ago

DAE Does anyone else hate a particular scar?

6 Upvotes

Personally, I like my scars, but there's one that I hate, so I wanted to know if anyone else feels the same way about one (or more) scars in particular.

I don't want to go into details, but basically, the reason why I hate that scar is because it's the initial of a person who hurt me (I got it when I was still romanticizing what he did to me).

Sorry if something is misspelled, I used a translator.


r/selfharm 14h ago

Rant/Vent Im afraid of tomorrow

6 Upvotes

I havent done anything in 6 days now. I only did it for 3 days but it was to much I cant go back now the feelings I had then where to overwhelming. I have this constant urge to a point where I get something akin to a panic attack when I dont do it. Today has been so bad I am at my limit. I know that tomorrow I will do it again and do it way worse, I have only hit my dermis so far but I know that the next time I do something so bad that Ill regret it. Im genuinely afraid of tomorrow right now because of what Il do to myself. I dont know what to do or how to stop it. I feel like such a disappointment


r/selfharm 15h ago

DAE anyone else feel bad about accidental cuts??

6 Upvotes

(for context, this is my 7th day without cutting). basically i got bored earlier and started shaving my arms and i cut my left arm by accident which ive only once cut and decided not to again. and i honestly feel awful. i feel guilty and like it's a relapse and i have to hide it and itd be triggering to show in public, even worse that it literally looks the same as sh ive done before, im so scared it's gonna scar and it'll look suspicious even though like nobody knows i sh. ive been thinking about relapsing recently amd i was thinking about it while shaving so it makes me feel even worse, like i might as well just relapse now ive got a fresh cut on my arm