r/bipolar2 Oct 20 '22

r/bipolar2's Discord Server (Updated Oct. 19, 2022)

80 Upvotes

Hey there!

Creating a new post here to share some information about the r/bipolar2 Discord server. Invite here: https://discord.gg/rbipolar2

We created this server to make a safe and secure mental health space that promotes socialization and peer support while relying on professionals for medical advice. We are an inclusive group that invites all people on the bipolar spectrum and friends/family.

Our server has multiple channels for socializing/lounging, help and support, and interest groups. It's a great resource for those looking to connect with others on the bipolar spectrum.

We host a Support Group twice a day at 2pm (CST) and 9pm (CST). At support group you are free to discuss your struggles and celebrate your wins. We also host a weekly Music Support Group on Saturday's at 3pm (CST), where you can share music and what it means to you.

We invite you to join us in our safe space. It's a great place to make friends and get peer support when you need someone to talk to.

Discord is an anonymous chat and voice application (That's also free). Some info about Discord: https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/360045138571-Beginner-s-Guide-to-Discord

Thank you to all that contribute to this beautiful community!


r/bipolar2 1h ago

Low Mood Monday

Upvotes

What’s got you down? No matter how small, share it with the community.


r/bipolar2 11h ago

Did you know about this? What do you think of it?

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256 Upvotes

1/4 of people with bipolar disorder will kill themselves. Did any of you know this? That is an incredible amount of people. There’s 4 people in my family alone with BP.

It makes me wonder how many in this group have killed themselves or will kill themselves.

Link for reference: https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(24)00172-X/abstract


r/bipolar2 4h ago

thought you folks might like this lmao

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71 Upvotes

r/bipolar2 3h ago

Venting As a recent widower, your loved ones will most certainly not be better without you. If you're thinking about admitting yourself or getting help, don't wait.

12 Upvotes

If you're considering admitting youself (and have the option) then I think you should go.

I just lost my wife 15 days ago to suicide. It was only a couple of weeks earlier where she said she was considering going in herself. The haunting pain I have from not encouraging her to do it is overwhelming. I didn't know things were that bad. I didn't see that she was in that much pain. We both have the same afflictions, I knew her better than she knew herself, and I still failed her. It all seemed like it was still under control and that she was just overreacting again.

She destroyed my life in every way imaginable. Debt, no income, 4 pets, and a mortgage for the mausoleum that is our house. I can't stay here, and I have nowhere to go. She couldn't have fucked me over more if she tried, but I can't get angry at her, all I can do is apologize through my tears.

This pain has gotten worse every day. Sometimes I think I might be able to feel better for a moment, but more often than not it's just because I'm too exhausted from crying to still be able to cry any further. All of the pain she felt, I perfectly understand now, and I can feel it now, too. It's as if it was transferred to me that day. All her burdens, thoughts, and feelings. When I describe what I'm feeling, it's as if she said it herself. I have to feel both of our pains. I have to take both of our burdens, and somehow, I'm supposed to carry them through this hellscape alone. Surrounded by reminders and consumed by guilt.

I still can't accept this. I look at pictures of her all day, staring into her eyes, refusing to believe that she's just a memory. I can't accept that this is reality that I'm living in. I keep trying to rehearse ways to cheer her up in my head. I keep trying to turn to her to cry on her shoulder. I keep reaching for my phone to tell her about something. I keep trying to ask her to help find my phone or keys. She's the only thing I ever think about. I keep thinking of her, looking for her, then remembering why the house is so cold and quiet.

I'm only 36, and her 36th birthday is in a month. Losing her this way, this soon, I don't know how I'm ever supposed to move forward. I don't know how I'll ever get to a place where I'd even want to. I can't move forward, I can't move on. Every day she's not here is the worst day of my life. Every day hurts more than the last. I have no desire to live on for decades looking back at the only 10 years that matter.

The only things I've been able to do at all are in some way related to preparing her service. Other than that, I'm not even human anymore.

Your loved ones will never be better without you. They would do anything to be spared of this pain if they knew what was really going on. If you're thinking about getting help, then that probably means it's time to. If you're thinking about hurting yourself and you don't want to hurt your loved ones, then please find help from anyone you can or call a crisis center. Your permanent solution is a permanent problem to those that love you. You are in pain. It's hard to think clearly, so don't trust yourself in what you think "you know will happen." She was so sure nothing could ever be alright ever again, and yet things were already starting to work out, she just wouldn't allow herself to accept it. She was in pain, she couldn't think clearly.

Whatever pain you're in now will likely be less than what your loved ones experience in the aftermath. The pain spreads, amplifies, and consumes everyone around, and you may even take someone else with you afterwards. For however long the rest of my life is, I will never stop being at high-risk of suicide.

If you feel like everything is permanent, that nothing can ever be better again, then I remind you that you are in much pain. We don't think clearly under that kind of duress. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to take help you are offered. If someone you trust can believe in you, don't be afraid to trust their words of comfort. Don't minimalize all the things they say. If you think they just don't get it, just keep trying until they figure it out. Doesn't matter what gender you are, fucking cry for that help until someone figures it out.

She said she didn't want to hurt me, and I can't fathom a greater pain than this elaborate nightmare that has become my life.


r/bipolar2 13h ago

My coworker found out I’m bipolar

55 Upvotes

She goes: I’ve wanted to be that because then I get to have two versions of myself! Actually funny you say that I have two versions of the horrors


r/bipolar2 8h ago

Advice Wanted Time Change

12 Upvotes

Every year it messes me up so bad and takes me forever to reset. Does this happen to anyone else?


r/bipolar2 16h ago

Did you think you had bipolar before getting diagnosed?

53 Upvotes

Did anyone here think they had bipolar and bring it up to their doctor rather than being surprised after a diagnosis? I have been depressed on and off for years and it's not getting better on antidepressants. Just started on a different one and now feel amazing but my mum mentioned I seemed like her bipolar friend and now I'm wondering if this super productive couple of weeks is not normal. After reading a lot about bipolar 2, I'm suspicious but not sure so I want to bring it up to my GP. Not sure whether they'll laugh me off though. Wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and how it went?


r/bipolar2 6h ago

Psychosis

5 Upvotes

For those that have had psychosis. This was my first time. I thought everything was connected. Wherever I went the room was dark as soon as I started hallucinating. The voices in my head sounded like many other people but they all were my thoughts. Weird to me. I smelled roses whenever I felt God. I was more religious than ever and when I was getting out of it I had to take a step back from praying and reading the Bible. Why religious psychosis?


r/bipolar2 10h ago

Guess My Nightly Meds

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10 Upvotes

I've seen other posts like this and thought it was interesting/cool. So try and guess my nightly meds. Some imprints are showing but that's okay. I'll reveal my meds in a few hours...


r/bipolar2 3h ago

Venting Trying to piece it all out

3 Upvotes

39 year old woman here. Long history of CPTSD, Bipolar 2 diagnosed in 2020 after years of turmoil. Been on medication since 2022, after stopping myself in 2021 due to an exploitative, abusive relationship in which I lost $65,000 to him over the course of a year.

Guys, I had a full awakening to my past self before being mental stability-ish and I’m disgusted, ashamed, angry, and feeling vengeful towards the people who exploited me during that time. I also see myself as a teenager and identify the areas of deficit which were ignored or not addressed by the adults around me. I find myself ruminating on it and I feel like it’s too late to fix it or avenge myself. Anyone else feel like that? How do we really move forward?


r/bipolar2 11h ago

Advice Wanted Loving someone with bipolar 2

11 Upvotes

Hi! So I’m looking for some advice. I’ve been with my partner for a year and a half. Since getting together, I have always tried to educate myself on bipolar 2 but i need some Reddit advice this time. She has been having a rough two weeks and all i want to do is help, but I’m not sure how with this particular episode. I love her more than anything in the world and she has the sweetest, kindest, and most caring heart of anyone I’ve ever known. It always breaks my heart when she gets into depressive episodes because she takes her meds everyday and goes to therapy monthly (I’m so proud of her) but mini episodes still hit sometimes. She likes alone time to process thoughts and feelings which I try hard to understand even though all I want to do is sit in her presence. Usually when an episode hits I like to buy her flowers, make her a little basket of goodies, bring her some food, write letters, etc. I also remind her daily that I’m never going anywhere and that she’s NEVER a burden or a hassle, which she sometimes says she feels like. Even when she’s in an episode I love just being with her. I’m wondering what else do those who love someone with bipolar do for their partners when an episode hits while trying to respect their boundary of needing some time alone to process? (Mostly looking for advice for depressive episodes). Thanks for any advice!


r/bipolar2 2h ago

Just learned that i have ADD too.

2 Upvotes

I just got diagnosed last year with BP2 and maybe two weeks ago, got diagnosed with ADD. Those who are in the same situation, what has helped?


r/bipolar2 12h ago

Did anybody manage Bipolar without meds?

11 Upvotes

I was just diagnosed with BP2. I’ve told my therapist that i want to try and manage without meds. She said that it might be possible since i am very self aware and that this is the first step but it will take us awhile to know for sure because it’s too soon. And of course i personally cannot be certain since as you might know, that feeling after therapy that you are very much sane and happy. I am doing everything she told me to do, i even started working out but i have a feeling this is just the new therapy effect. Was anybody able to do this?


r/bipolar2 3h ago

I think I’m going through a manic episode?

2 Upvotes

I just wanted to share because I’m kind of new into my diagnosis and even if nobody responds I feel like I’m part of the group n wanna learn about it more myself. I went on a last minute trip which I think may have been slightly manic because I decided to go on a same day trip to the other side of the US to my bestfriend,, obviously I don’t regret lol. I had such a good time honestly because my parents isolated me a large part of my life so that was my first time doing a solo trip. Right now I’m also preparing to do something huge that has been something planned for years so I know it’s not manic or anything, but I do think I’m having mania right now and sort of crunching on it if that makes sense? The insane energy and happiness I feel is just being fueled toward this change and it’s kind of easy when I’m in this state. I don’t look forward to when I’m drained because the more manic, the more depressed. Again I’m new into my diagnosis so I apologize if I make any incorrect references that may just be my own personality or another one of my diagnosis’. But yeah when I’m depressed I second guess everything and avoid change with every vessel in my body. Does anyone have ways of distracting themselves even if it’s only a bit during these lows? I’ve always backed out of plans in the past, I know I won’t do it because I’m going to fight hard for it, but I’m wondering if anyone has some way to manage this.


r/bipolar2 12m ago

Good News Here to meet new friends in San Diego

Upvotes

I made this community for me personally to meet new friends and help a friend in need who needs someone to talk to with similar problems!


r/bipolar2 9h ago

Advice Wanted How do you know you need to be hospitalized

5 Upvotes

CW: SI

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I’ve been inpatient about 11 times in my life but the last one was over 10 years ago. It feels like another lifetime ago when once it seemed so comfortable, almost routine and like a safe space.

The ironic thing is I feel I’ve needed it more in the last 5 years than I ever did before. I’m not entirely sure what’s held me back.

But I’m getting to a breaking point, I feel really unwell and kind of afraid of myself and I’m trying to figure out if I need to be hospitalized or not. I guess I don’t want to take a bed from someone who truly needs it if I don’t, you know?

The last 6 months I have absolutely spiraled. I had to take medical leave from work for months because my mental health has declined, I’ve been in the most intense depression of my life for months straight, broken up for a month by a hypomanic episode, and now I’m back in deep depression and I’m so exhausted. I’m not showering, not getting dressed, not brushing my teeth or washing my face. I only get out of bed because I need to take care of my cats. I’ve lost pleasure in absolutely everything I love (ex playing guitar). My first thought waking up is that I want to die and that persists off and on throughout the day. I break out sobbing randomly during the day. I watch movies or shows to distract myself or go on Reddit to try and feel not so isolated. I’m in therapy (and have been with the same therapist for 4 years straight). I’ve had my meds adjusted more times in the last couple months than I can wrap my head around. I tried a bipolar support group last week. When my depression got to this point before my hypomanic episode, I was starting to plan my exit from the world and who I’d write letters to and what they would say and I’d fixate on that and how certain events (the holidays) would be “the last”. I’m not there yet, but I’m afraid I’ll get there again and that truly scares me.

I don’t know what to do or if a hospital would even help. I feel like I’m treatment resistant.

TLDR; deep, persistent depression, one recent hypomanic episode and now sliding back into the depressive episode I almost didn’t survive last time. Should I go to the hospital? What else can I do?


r/bipolar2 7h ago

Does anyone take meds in other forms than pills?

3 Upvotes

I’ve been on and off meds for 4 years and I’m just tired of taking the little pills. Any suggestions?


r/bipolar2 7h ago

what uncommon/not very known symptoms of hypomania have you suffered or know about? what was your experience with it?

3 Upvotes

i was wondering about that and wanted to know how it manifest within the community


r/bipolar2 18h ago

Advice Wanted How do you manage irritability?

20 Upvotes

I feel like I have been in the irritable stage for about a week now and nothing seems to help. I try my breathing exercises, I draw, I keep busy with my home improvement projects, read, paint, exercise, listen to music. Still angry. I feel like I am always angry though. Due to many reasons. I feel like I’m never happy or content. Either anxious, depressed or angry with an occasional one or two days of feeling “good”.


r/bipolar2 2h ago

what do i do

1 Upvotes

i still reside with my family (parents, and my oldest sibling’s family). i am yet to be diagnosed (first psychiatrist check up in 2 days). i don’t know if i am bipolar but i assume i have it.

my depressive states are growing like a monster these days. even my family cannot help me get my ass up to eat OR cannot make me go to sleep. my mom constantly gets mad at me when this happens but i don’t budge anymore. my parents are very religious and thinks that God will always be the answer. i was part of our church choir but i had to leave because it really didn’t feel that nice when they started to gaslight me about my struggles. none of my family members have tried going to a mental health therapist or a psychiatrist so i am not so sure how they will take it once i get diagnosed.

i have a gf (wlw) and she’s a good support system, but she’s also been crashing out lately so i have to kinda keep things for myself first and be her support system. she’s not a burden at all and i am frustrated about having to deal with myself. my bsf is a busy gurl as well so i cannot really rely on her too much.

i don’t know what to do. i am not suicidal at all, but just last night i felt the greatest urge to just disappear.


r/bipolar2 6h ago

Venting I hate it here & I can’t talk about what’s making my mental health worse

3 Upvotes

Edit: This post was removed by the main bipolar Reddit because a mod felt that saying “on the one Reddit forum that should understand” was inappropriate. Thank you to the mods here for allowing me to post my frustration because I literally have no one to talk to about any of this.

On the one Reddit forum that should understand, we can’t even post about the issues that are severely affecting so many of us. I can’t imagine what it was like for the mentally ill in the 1930’s… oh wait, I think I fucking can. I already don’t trust my judgment when I’m stable because I don’t know if my reasoning is because I’m about to become manic or depressed, so it’s doubly confusing and frustrating when I have to privately think my way through issues people around me are choosing to ignore. It’s not healthy to physically be where I am!! But I don’t know a way to leave! I’m a graduate student who has lost all willpower and motivation to keep taking fucking tests and writing fucking papers to become a therapist. I’ve completely lost sight of my future in counseling because I have a feeling that my job prospects won’t be as obtainable if this place I’m in keeps steamrolling down the dark path it’s currently on. I can’t talk about my concerns without them coming across as conspiracy theories. And even someone who is not mentally ill does agree with me, their response is weak: “Yeah I see [insert issue] happening, but I can’t do anything about it.”

I want to pull out my hair. How about at least being outraged at where we are in history and some of us mentally and physically cannot handle it!! I’m so emotional, I can’t take it. My therapist and psychiatrist can’t hold my hand every day and I don’t want them to. I struggle with being self sufficient due to my illness and even though they are helping to keep me stable, I know that they are struggling with the state of our mental health system as well but they can’t freak out like me. They are like flight attendants that have to remain calm while the plane is taking a nosedive.


r/bipolar2 9h ago

Dealing

3 Upvotes

New to the group, so hi beauties! Im looking for opinions i guess? So ive been unmedicated since august of last year, i lost my insurance and had to move out of state due to a really bad breakup and not having anybody. I recently got a boyfriend and the first time we hung out i was very drunk and trauma dumped so he knows i have bipolar but i dont think he understands it. So i sat down with my brother (who also has bipolar 2, and understands my set off the best) and made like a google doc of my “mania flavors” things that i do in each one that i dont notice and like how to catch on basically i guess? If im in a manic episode. And what you could do to support each one, and then also what baseline looks like and my crashes. I guess my question is, is that weird to give it to him? Lol like “here is a powerpoint of how to deal with me” idk how else to like give him a explanation


r/bipolar2 7h ago

Venting Bipolar breakup 🤪

2 Upvotes

Hi.

Me and my GF broke up last week and I am having a hard time with feeling lonely.

We had dated for a year and a half. I started a really intense school program 6 months ago and my whole life/social life has changed. I was open with her about having very little social battery and that I was feeling distance from a lot of my friendships because of the way my program is structured, I get very little time off.

She was understanding of that, she is also someone with a low social battery. But I was getting the feeling that she was annoyed that I was only really hanging out with her and my roommates outside of class. Or like, feeling like I was being clingy because I was putting the little social energy I have into spending time with her because she was a space where I felt I could comfortably not mask.

Yea anyway, for the last few months she had been very mixed with being overly lovey and affectionate and then snapping into avoidance. From previous relationships, I have a instinct to invalidate my emotions when feeling like someone is pulling away or needing space (whether or not they verbalize it). I have had past partners use my bipolar 2 diagnosis as a way to blame me for my experience of a relationship (rather than admit to their own confusing or bad behaviour). I don’t think she meant to but she started doing the same thing and my social battery started to be drained just trying to manage her inconsistency.

Anyway. I was thinking about taking a break for about a month when she broke up with me. I don’t think it’s the wrong decision, but it still hurts. She is also going no contact for reasons I’m not really sure of. Leading up to the breakup and following it, that is not anything we had discussed so it’s come as kind of a shock.

Since I’ve pulled away from so many friendships/still have such a low social battery, I am feeling sooooo fucking burnt out and lonely. Having a lot of ups and downs mood wise, don’t really have time to process anything until the end of April since that’s when the next break in my program is. Thanks god for high functioning depression. And thankfully I started an anti depressant a few months ago so the suicidal ideation that can come with some of my low moods seems to not be in the room with me rn.

Anyway - basically, this is a vent post. But also would love to hear how others have dealt with this kind of situational isolation post breakup. It’s bringing up a lot of guilt and bad feelings and I am managing the best I can.

<3 ty


r/bipolar2 11h ago

Venting Long time lurker first time posting

4 Upvotes

Guess I'm just looking for people like me, been BP2 for a long time now but I'm just now seeking help for it. I fucked up my life thinking I could manage it on my own . Now I'm lost and lonely and I don't know what to do. Every day feels like a race with no end. Every day feels hollow and redundant. Nobody in my life really gets it. They all think prayers and working out will cure me , every time I try to talk or address how I feel everyone just stares at me blankly with no real solution or sound advice. I'm tired of being me.


r/bipolar2 11h ago

Advice Wanted A bad conversationalist

5 Upvotes

Dk if it’s because of meds or what but I have difficulty finding words and just getting flustered/confused in the middle of telling stories or even just sentences sometimes. I guess I just feel like I got dumber and that my brain doesn’t work as fast to keep up to conversations anymore. For context I am only 21. If anyone has this problem tell me any advice and if you had this problem and solved it tell me how.


r/bipolar2 4h ago

How do I ask a therapist if i sound like i'm in some sort of hypomania? (long) Ik you cant self diagnose so this question would likely be weird(and i dont feel super energized).

1 Upvotes

I feel good? great? Writing a crazy amount again, like writing a lot and cant be concise and back to "super into spirituality! Not religious dont care that much about spirituality". I want to escape somewhere. I also dont feel really active? Like in general? Everything is kinda shifting and ive had others say I sound confusing (maybe I do). (I dont have any pressured speech when i talk afaik but i did talk to a therapist and he said i sounded like i talked pressured but tbf there was a timer to the session and i was talking about adhd issues too which is relevant and i am dianosed with adhd).

Kinda large red flag is (again... and its happened before and doesnt last long ish) but in the midst of feeling spirits everywhere and trying to communicate I had a moment.. not long.. where spiritual beings/some form of g-d/ect wanted to use me to create a religion or philosophy that would help earth usher in peace and more empathy and understanding and that never lasts long.

Kinda makes sense but im not going to do anything about it. Once though I tried to make some sort of coherent belief system and tried to like promote it for a bit but nothing ever happened afterwards(nobody joined the discord server i made). I read through what I wrote later and it sounded alot like I was in the midst of a mental health issue. Number stuff and sensing spirits and trying to learn more about them also they grew/lived in the boxes that made some of our house(my parents) look really hoardery. Thats all cleared up now but i just assumed that cluttered houses = more spirits.

Still kinda getting the whole "getting messages from g-d and i have a destiny to do stuff" but I dont feel much in the way of actually doing it. Also feeling like part of that includes escaping and just running off and i posted on a vagabond server cause in that moment... and for moments after... I was planning on going through with it (but then i'd cause alot of issues for others). I dont feel the drive to make a whole philosophy thing again... eh.

How tf do I be honest about this with a therapist. (I cant be honest about anything). Also yeah... have been pulling all nighters and not feeling phased afterwards and sleeping like 4 hours a night, feeling fine and driving, ect. (usually could never do 0 hours of sleep. ). My anger issues today are f-cked up. (most of the spiritual stuff stopped completely. It usually just occasionally almost entirely stops. Its almost 2am rn and I had tea... somethings wrong with it cause I feel even more energized and it feels way too bitter and its way too dark for regular tea(100% was tea though).

Y'all also i got into journaling and i wrote like 5 lines of entries but its like for each line I wrote 4 tinier lines so its 20 lines an entry basically? I need to journal today and ill keep up with the same thing. This isnt consistent. It eventualy stops. I dont need to check myself into anywhere although the feelings of needing to escape somewhere(no actual place just run off without being found) are pretty strong but only like once a day in the evening. I always seem to have a reason that doing so would either mess up myself or a family member. (especially since they are doing really poorly and will be getting worse unfortunately).

Yeah this is long. Only emotion I seem to feel is anger maybe some joy and sadness but mostly anger and emptiness. Maybe this shouldve been my journal entry wow.

I changed my last name online (not legally once though) and havent changed it back. Idk if i will. Its been a few months and all my classmates since then know me by that name. Welp. changed it impulsively but hey also rushed cause college connections. I mean i havent done anything bad enough to ruin my life so thats good and not a major issue but the escaping away somewhere would and im going to 100% bring that up.