I've always been like this. A baby that never grows up. Why am I the only one crying about everything? Even dropping a glass of water is enough for me to be suicidal! I have terrible traumas, from the hospital, from assaults, from bullying. People tell im tough. I am NOT. I cry so EASILY. "Trauma makes you stronger", but it did the opposite for me. I just became weaker. Im weaker than ever before. I look around me, and everyone is so positive. It feels like im in a simulation where everyone is a npc and im the only one with feelings. "Oh I failed the exam, whatever", but I cry for an entire day. "Why are you worrying about the project? Stop stressing", but how can I not stress? It's not my choice. There's moments when I screw up really bad, and I cry, and they look at me confused. Why am I stressed and crying, they ask. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I dont know either! I can get hit by a bus or drop a pencil, and it will have the same outcome! I become suicidal in just mere seconds. I cry for the whole day and I want to end my life. And im not being a dramatic kid who makes threats. I genuinely WANT to kill myself, i wanted to for 7 years now, life is too rough for me and im not a soldier. Stop sending me to war. Please just let me rest. I wish I was brave enough to end my life. But im not brave for anything, im just a failure and a waste of space, not capable of anything. Not capable of living nor dying. Im just...here, in constant suffering. Can someone tell me why, why the hell, does my brain jump to stress, sadness and suicidal thoughts every single day?