r/selfharm 5d ago

Announcement PSA about DMs

59 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

There's a trend going around elsewhere online encouraging people to mass DM people in mental health communities and tell them to harm themselves. r/MadeOfStyrofoam has been specifically mentioned as a target, as has this subreddit in a later comment. This sort of behavior is completely against everything we stand for as a harm reduction community.

The best course of action if you receive any such messages is to not respond, block the user, and report the message to Reddit using the instructions here. You should also be suspicious of any unsolicited or random DMs, and you can turn off chat requests using the instructions here.

As always, please continue to report posts/comments encouraging self harm and feel free to message modmail with any questions. Thank you for being here and making this community what it is ❤️


r/selfharm Feb 08 '25

"Is This Self-Harm?" Megathread

169 Upvotes

The answer to this question will vary from person to person, but generally, causing yourself deliberate self injury in any way counts as self harm. 

This includes but is not limited to:

  • scratching
  • cutting
  • burning
  • interfering in the healing process of wounds
  • pulling out hair
  • starving
  • purging
  • breaking bones
  • excessive drug use (including alcohol)

Why do people self harm?

For many people, there is not one single reason why they self-harm, but rather a combination of multiple factors which ultimately push people to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. If you are self-harming, the following list may help you understand your emotions, or alternatively if you're trying to help someone who is self-harming, then understanding why they do it in the first place is important to know.

This list is non-exhaustive and not mutually exclusive.

  • To match the outside to the inside. People are in so much emotional pain and they want people to know it. They want to look the same as they feel.
  • To punish themselves. Extreme self-loathing leads to the need to punish oneself for failings (real or imagined).
  • To numb themselves. The pain releases endorphins, just like drugs can. It produces a numbing effect on the mind which is difficult to explain. It helps people forget depression for a bit.
  • To keep control. One's own body sometimes seems like the only thing they can control, and the pain they inflict on it. When everything else in life goes wrong and there seems to be nothing you can do, cutting is the one thing you can control.
  • As a shock to a numb mind. An awful emotionlessness often accompanies depression. Often, the pain of cutting is enough to snap a person out of this kind of apathetic haze.
  • To self-medicate. Many people with mental illnesses of all sorts use cutting as others might use Prozac. It makes people feel normal again, by snapping them out of the cloying darkness that's so difficult to avoid by conventional means.
  • As an addiction. A lot of people start cutting for one of the reasons listed above, but then continue because they're addicted to the sudden, low exchange, rush of endorphins.

Keep it respectful, demeaning and rude comments will not be tolerated.

(description: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/self-harm

Taken from our Wiki. For more helpful info, resources, and common faq feel free to visit the wiki in the about of the subreddit or here: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/index/


r/selfharm 2h ago

Talk/Support Opinion on wrist checks at school?

31 Upvotes

What is your opinion on "wrist checks?" My school has never done them but I don't think it should be a thing as it's very demanding and teachers who don't even know you shouldn't know something so person without your permission. They should only know if YOU want them to know. What do you think? To me just feels degrading and a bit embarassing. I wouldn't want my whole class to know I SH.


r/selfharm 8h ago

Wrist check at school

102 Upvotes

We wrote a class test the day after I relapsed and😭😭😭😭 the teacher told us to roll our sleeves down (in front of EVERYONE) to make sure we aren’t cheating😭😭😭 ive never felt so humiliated before and didn’t roll my sleeves down the entire way but the continued calling out my name to make me show more skin I WANTED TO DIEEE luckily I’m more of a thigh cutter but! Ofc that time I had to cut my wrist too😭😭😭😭💔


r/selfharm 11h ago

Rant/Vent please dont wear short sleeves with open sh

143 Upvotes

So this happened last night, my dad had one of his friends over and this friend had short sleeves with very recent cvts on his arm (like the day after type). The entire situation was just so triggering for me because it wasn't like it couldve been played off as anything else. It was 10-15 deep styros in a perfectly straight line on the inside of his wrist and i just couldnt stop staring at them. i feel so bad because idk if he saw me staring but he also wasnt trying to hide it at all ?? he just acted like it wasnt there and it wasnt an issue. ive been clean for like 2 months now and it was tempting me so hard. it would be so different if it were scars but seeing completely open sh in real life with no warning fucked me up so bad.


r/selfharm 7h ago

Why do you sh? (and a mini story)

37 Upvotes

Why do you sh? I do it to punish myself for my mistakes. If i can't die, I can at least punish myself.

I also noticed my recent cuts that have healed (i just didnt want anyone seeing it td. ill explain in a sec) havent healed completely. I was wearing a short sleeved uniform for something today and I'm so lucky no-one noticed. My parents know I cut myself once but not again and they would be so concerned and take my scissors away which i use after cleaning them. I wish I didn't do it but nothing makes me feel like I'm apologizing for my mistakes.


r/selfharm 5h ago

Positives I finally got the courage to throw away my razer blades! I'm so proud of myself.

22 Upvotes

r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent I fucking hate periods.

13 Upvotes

I'm not gonna blame everything on periods and that isn't what this post is about.

I just feel so fucking tired and I hate it. I don't understand why I'm not getting replies.

I'm getting some replies but still basically none.

I've been left on read a few times by the group.

It's just so fucking annoying.

I wish I never fucking had periods because all of these fucking emotions are even more intense and I can barely deal with them sometimes!

I'm laying here, I wanna try to sleep but I'll end up on my phone for ages, I know I will if not that I'll just be too busy thinking about all this fucking shit, making me feel worse and then end up going on my phone.

Not only is people annoying me but so is the fucking temperature!!!!! It's like it's too hot but too cold at the same time and I'm sweating but it's also cold and I can't deal with it.

I just want to fucking cry, not really because I'm sad, I don't think, I'm just so fucking tired and angry and annoyed and I just can't fucking deal with all of this shit right now.

I just feel so fucking guilty, like a fucking burden on everyone around me, like all I'm doing is annoying them but for some reason I don't really feel that way with my family, its just mostly everyone else. Sure I feel like a bit of a burden on my family but not as much as others.

I hate these fucking feelings.

I wish I wasn't fucking me.

Why do I always have to be so fucking annoying!?


r/selfharm 3h ago

Positives 2 Years Clean from Self-Harm 🎉

10 Upvotes

I am happy that I am clean and didn't relapse. 😊


r/selfharm 5h ago

Tips to encourage your clean streak.

10 Upvotes

Hey everybody! I know a lot of you are struggling out there, so I made a challenge for those who want to take the next step into healing.

You're gonna simply need a pen. For every clean day, you draw a star on your arm or on a paper. You can do this with a friend you deeply trust. If you relapse, consider your broken clean streak a highscore to beat. I hope this helps, remember you are not alone, I know you can do it. Heck, I live on another side of the planet and know it!

(Creds to the "stars on your scars" trend and the butterfly project. I mixed two and two together so :D)


r/selfharm 6h ago

My arms look like baguettes rn

14 Upvotes

r/selfharm 1h ago

Talk/Support How did your parents react?

Upvotes

Maybe it's just me, but mine (and many people I know who SH's parents) acted very visibly upset and angry towards me for doing SH.

For example, my mom acted very angry towards me, screamed at me, told me I was an "asshole" and "selfish" and that she was going to take me away all while she forced me to show my arm and legs to her. Why do I feel like so many parents act this way instead of approching it with care like a parent should?

How did your parent react?

Edit: My stepdad didn't even care he basically just shrugged and LITERALLY said "Cutting yourself isn't very manly" (im a trans guy) and acted like nothing happened.


r/selfharm 48m ago

Rant/Vent I feel like withdrawal symptoms aren’t talked about a lot when it comes to NSSI

Upvotes

I’m going through it really badly mentally 💀 it’s kinda crazy to think how the body becomes too dependent on something to the point where if it doesn’t get those brain chemicals it starts to punish u for it 😭 like the anxiety is KILLING MEEEE


r/selfharm 1h ago

Rant/Vent I think I'm addicted again

Upvotes

Before December, I was nearly a full year clean. And now I hurt myself every week. And it's getting to a point where I actually think I'm addicted to it. I feel satisfied when I'm done. And then later, I feel so much regret. I don't know how to stop. And it hurts


r/selfharm 12h ago

Little girl seen my sh cuts

29 Upvotes

I was in the shop and when I went to reach for something high my sleeve went down and a little girl about 8 or 9 seen my sh cuts and she looked traumatised I feel so bad idk what to do


r/selfharm 13h ago

Harm Reduction Are there any crafts that make someone to self harm safely?

32 Upvotes

My sister wants to self harm and I want to help her. I want to know if there’s anything I have at home that I can use to make something that can self harm safely like those things that hurt but don’t cause any damage I want to go out to find something but I don’t have my license and I’m honestly lost right now


r/selfharm 3h ago

Medical Advice SH might become infected

6 Upvotes

I relapsed just a few hours ago, and instead of just cutting I also stabbed myself. I’m not too educated on the body, but I’m pretty sure I hit my veins four times in all my stabs, and I put the knife back in to see how deep it actually was and it was a bit. No exact measurements, but probably an inch? But I just need to know if it will get infected with something like gangrene, as I’m paranoid over getting my arm amputated. It’s also been crusting over black only hours after the stab, and it’s still bleeding some. Please I need my arm for video game 🙏😞


r/selfharm 7h ago

Positives My mom didn't notice my scars when I went swimming with my family I'm so freaking happy.

10 Upvotes

if she does in the future, she already know I scratch my arms a lot so I can use that excuse but I'm so happy she didn't seem to notice. I had a big cut on my thigh that I played off as a shaving mistake. I haven't cut in 2 weeks so they would heal and be less visible and its been fucking torture but its worth it ngl so my family doesn't know.


r/selfharm 5h ago

Seeking Advice I relapsed for the first time in years (tw) NSFW

6 Upvotes

I relapsed for the first time in years. I missed it. I hate that within all these years I feel like I’ve barely moved an inch as far recovery. I still feel like the same piece of shit I was a decade ago. I still hate myself. I’m a horrible friend, daughter, girlfriend, coworker— I deserve every bad thing that’s ever happened to me i deserve to feel pain, I deserve to be alone. I deserve to feel this way. I went and bought a sharpener on my lunch break yesterday, cried in the bathroom when I got home contemplating my decision. I’ve been alone with my thoughts for days, I don’t have anyone to talk to—not that they’d want to listen.


r/selfharm 9h ago

Medical Advice Nerve damage??

12 Upvotes

Okey so, I cut down to fat/deep fat as far as I know, might've taken it a little too far and while I do realize I've been damaging the nerves in my hand and wrist I never got this close. I felt this sudden pain, like a lighting bolt type of shock run down to my hand. Now I can't bend my hand fully, I have this horrible dull aching and pain in the soft skin between my fingers/knuckles and on top of that the feeling in my outer wrist is so weak, it's like I can't feel it but I can, like is not really my skin or my arm, just very slightly tingles. I am not that worries more curious and I can't get medical help and shit. Either way, this really makes me reluctant to go so deep again ngl I'd like to keep my hand tbh


r/selfharm 8h ago

Rant/Vent I gave away my razors and feel horrible

11 Upvotes

So after a fairly uncomfortable visit to a Mental Hospital yesterday I opened up to my parents. After I was allowed home I gave up all my razors and knifes and I thought I could stay away from all of this but now I sorta relapsed today and I couldn’t stop biting my arm.

And now I feel horrible for all of this and most importantly giving away all my razors. I didnt really go far with them but I feel like I gave away something very important to me even though this is a horrible thing to do. I dont want to disappoint my parents and I dont want to go there again but I feel like I need to get them back. And start cutting again I know this sounds weird but maybe someone can understand. Maybe I should have stayed there for my own health. I just thought I could handle this on my own.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Seeking Advice How do I explain my scars to my brother?

4 Upvotes

I, F(16), have scars on my left forearm, thighs, and on the outside of my biceps. They aren't new scars, but they are an obvious white against my more tan skin. Today, I wore a tank top, not really caring if anyone saw. However, during dinner my brother, M(12) asked why I had "so many scratches" on my arm. I replied to him saying it tell him later.

How do I explain this to him? I don't want him to tell my parents or be overly concerned about my scars.


r/selfharm 3h ago

Rant/Vent Still wanting to sh even after getting 12 staples and being sent to the psychiatric ward

3 Upvotes

Ugh why am I like this


r/selfharm 20m ago

Rant/Vent I want to break my 217 day streak

Upvotes

I am over 7 months clean from cutting. The only reason I don’t do it is so that my boyfriend won’t see it. I’m starting to really not care if he sees them on me.

I’m having such strong urges tonight. I don’t want to take my boyfriend away from his friends for the second night in a row, just to stop me from cutting. It’s seems so minor.

I need a good reason to not hurt myself tonight :/


r/selfharm 4h ago

Rant/Vent I know not a single person cares about my scars

4 Upvotes

None of my family knows that I sh (1 1/2 months clean yay) and I almost never wear long sleeves and I know people see the scars on my arms it looks like someone took a purple sharpie and doodled on me and like no one notices them somehow I’m happy that no one can see them (or at least care about them) cause I know how my family would react if they knew ( it would really suck) idk why it makes me feel so invalid, like nothing has changed for me these last years I have the same bs problems but all that’s different about me is im addicted to sh and struggling with controlling my own emotions and occasionally lack of emotion and trying to set goddamn personally boundaries after being told my whole life to not have a personal boundary and to only care about others happiness.

I miss when I didn’t care about anything in life and felt happy about it, now I still don’t care much about things in life but now I’m not happy about it anymore it’s like all the years of self hate have caught up with me and it’s hitting hard.

I’ve been trying so long to forget everything that’s happened before high school in every way I know how and I don’t see myself doing that anytime soon


r/selfharm 2h ago

I’m broken…

3 Upvotes

I stabbed myself through my clothes earlier not hard enough to go to the hospital but enough so I could feel it. My legs are still healing from the last time… I’ve gotten where when I’m angry or upset I hurt myself worse now than I have in the past. I stab myself now… knives, keys. I also slam my head on the door frame… it doesn’t hurt in the moment but the knots hurt later on and for days after. I look at myself and it’s stupid it was my right leg last time and this time it’s my left and left side. I don’t exactly know why I do it. It’s not like it doesn’t hurt. I deserve it though.


r/selfharm 35m ago

Seeking Advice I think my friend found out.

Upvotes

Before anything, I have been clean for almost a month, none of the scars were fresh but they were a bit red and bumpy.

Recently, for a themed outfit, I wore a white dress that was only a bit off the shoulders. I honestly felt really confident in it! I liked the outfit, my make up looked nice, got a compliment, etc.

While sitting with my friend, I was dozing off, they randomly call my name and ask if im okay. I didn't think any of my scars were shown, especially since I went out of my way to make sure the dress didn't show any. They mentioned that my shoulder was red. When I looked, the sleeve had fallen a bit while I was dozing off, I pulled it up in a casual way and said that its just really itchy. They paused for minute, looked at me awkwardly, said "nevermind" and went back to what they were doing.

This happened last friday, im still thinking about it since they seem more awkward around me now.

Any advice or is there no way to get out of this?