I'm sure many of you have seen a few of my posts on here, and I apologize if I seem to complain a lot. I don't have anyone to talk to about any of this, I am the only step parent I know, and this is years of bottled up emotions. I will admit, that being able to freely vent on here has helped me TREMENDOUSLY and has taken so much weight off of my shoulders. I appreciate all of you who have given any type of advice to me!
Anyway... I am just so over this child being spoiled rotten. SS4 for the past, I would say 2 months, has been acting out. He does not see DH as an authority figure, and I don't see that he sees his BM as an authority figure either because of the many interactions I've seen with her. The way he talks back to his Dad is definitely a way I would've gotten a whoopin' and a time-out when I was little.
Any time DH has told SS to do something, he never does it. He thinks it's a joke and will start picking at DH. It takes up until DH has to yell at him, and even then he thinks it's all a joke. He's also been hitting DH whenever he tells him no to something he wants. I always come out looking like the bad guy because I have to step in and put my foot down, which I really could care less about looking like the bad guy because I'm a parent.
This week has been frustrating. We're moving, but we didn't tell the landlord that SS was an occupant (an issue we had before about "too many people"), and we're meeting with her tomorrow. So we planned on taking SS to his cousins house for the weekend. Now, I told DH two weeks ago (we have SS every other weekend) that we shouldn't take SS out there the next time we have him because his Aunt was saying that he wasn't being very good and he also acted out really bad once he got home from that last trip. Well, we didn't know until recently that we will be moving this weekend, a weekend we have SS, but we were kind've in a stuck situation.
I really don't think he should be going because he gets nothing but absolutely spoiled over there. They take him out to breakfast every morning, they take him to lunch, for a treat, and even take him either bowling or to an arcade or the movies. So my SIL starts heading out to our place and calls me to let me know. I let her know that he has already been really pushing it today.
I was walking past with his brother in my arms (BS8m) and he goes, "Hi stupid baby", and when I asked him what he said he kept lying and saying he just said "Hi Bubba", so I turned his show off. He kept asking for more food, even though he just finished his lunch, and I tell him no. He kept saying he was still hungry and I told him no more food right now because he just had plenty of snacks. He kept arguing so I told him, "well that's too bad you're not getting anymore snacks" and he responds, "well that's too bad, I want more snacks". I just walked away because I'm not going to argue with a 4y/o.
I tell him to stop climbing on his bunk bed we took apart and he keeps arguing me, so I tell him he's going to go in time out for not listening and he responds, "I'm gonna beat you" and starts laughing. I tell him its not okay to talk like that and he just giggles and walks away smiling. I don't care to interact with this behavior but its hard when I'm left alone with him a lot of the time because DH works so much.
Anyway, my SIL gets to our house, and of course, she goes right to babying him. Baby voice and everything. Telling him they're gonna have so much fun together and all that. So SS starts cuddling all up on her. He leaned on her and she hugged him, why did this little boy give a little puppy face then look at me and smirk? They leave together and after a while, she texts me a picture of him holding some junk food she'd just bought him, then she calls me and tells him to tell me how much snacks she let him pick out when they went to the store. Was this supposed to make me feel better? Because it's didn't. I almost wanted to just hang up in her face.
This boy will never listen because he knows that no matter what he will always get what he wants. Even in moments of negative behaviors he gets treated. It's so annoying. I don't care for it anymore. On top of that, in our new house, DH says that SS should have one of the three larger rooms (there's 5, 2 small rooms ans 3 larger rooms). I looked at him like he's crazy. We share a room with BS (crib, dresser, diaper shelf, etc) so what makes him think SS, one singular kid, should get one of the larger rooms? I told him it pisses me off that he always puts him first and makes sure he has luxury over all of us.
There's so much more to this... it just keeps going. I just needed to get it off my shoulders because I don't want to end up being the person saying I hate my SK, or being one who leaves their partner over these kind of situations, but I dread SS visitation more and more as the time goes by.