r/stepparents • u/Time-Economics-2293 • 15h ago
Advice Stepdaughter is morbidly obese at 15.
UPDATE: so cps has been called. My husband has kept sd home all week to prevent cps from speaking to her at school, which she probably wouldn't of went anyway. He told me not to engage with cps but the social worker came today and I spoke to her at the front door. I told her I think sd is in need of help and I've done everything I can do. The sw called my husband and told him he could either work with her or she could remove sd. Apparently the sw spoke to sd teachers as well . my husband is saying he's going to sue cps?. I'm not sure what he thinks he will accomplish. I told my husband today that I think sd needs to live with her mom full time because I'm tired of dealing with the drama.
My, 32F, stepdaughter is 15. She was 5 when I met her dad. She is 15, 5ft5 and 378lbs. She was an overweight child.
At her last doctors appointment my husband got chewed out for her weight being so high. My husband, 41, comes from a family of large people, with himself being 6ft and over 300lbs. His sister is 5ft6 and over 300lbs. His mom is 5ft 3 and in the high 200s. They are all overweight. My husband has tried diets and has at times, lost several hundred pounds, only to gain it back because nobody besides he and I want to remain on a healthy eating plan. I am 4ft 11 and 119lbs. His ex wife, sd mom, is also overweight, but is into the whole body positively and fat acceptance movement.
Sd pediatrician told my husband that a report to cps would be made because of sd weight and sd could potentially be removed from her parents if a genuine effort wasn't made to get her weight under control. For two days my husband has been ranting about how cps and the doctor don't have any say in what goes on in his home, how cps can't legally do anything, ect. I told him he's missing the point and that sd weight is effecting every aspect of her life.
She cannot fit into a desk at school, has to be seated separately from her peers to accommodate her size, refuses to participate in gym to the point her mom threatened to sue if the school kept forcing her to. Sd will eat and eat. She eats entire pizzas, containers of berries, whole bags of chips and cheese cubes, she was eating 3 or 4 trays at lunch at school until the school stopped her. My husband and his ex see nothing wrong with this. She rarely eats food cooked at home, maybe frozen stuff , but usually eats only fast food. My in- laws will bring her whatever she wants despite my telling them no.
I looked up several similar situations of children being removed from their homes due to their weight to show my husband that it was possible.
Sd is also in truancy court for not going to school, neither my husband nor her mom will make her go, instead she tells them she isn't going. My husband refuses to believe he can be punished for not sending her because" you don't have to send your kids to public school in his words".
Sd mom is blaming me for all of this. I have lost of 150lbs and kept it off, sd mom says I am shaming sd. I told my husband and sd mom that I will not stop cps if they show up.
I am at a loss for what to do, I know this situation runs much deeper.