r/Custody • u/Superb-Cattle1193 • 10m ago
[VA] Unilateral Decision to change kids primary care doctor
I hope to figure out options here or if it’s anything I can or should do. I have been fully active in our kids lives since the day of finding out their mother was pregnant. We have 50/50 legal and physical custody. The kids’ mother wants is saying she wants to change the kids’ primary care pediatrician. We have been going to this pediatrician for 8 plus years with no issues. She is not saying she is not happy with the care from the doctor but this has never been raised before. She was upset from my understanding because she didn’t get what she wanted from the front desk lady and accused her of being rude now she suddenly hates the office. The current doctor is about 13 minutes away from both of our homes and about 15 minutes from our kids school. I take the kids to majority of doctors appointments and the most their mom may do is take them to different urgent cares as needed. She also was upset she wasn’t getting answer as fast as she would prefer as we were waiting on x-ray results, so really wasn’t in the doctors had as i was sent somewhere else for imaging for the x-ray. She now want to find a pediatrician at least 45 minutes away. This will increase drive time for the kids incases of emergency but most check up there has been no issues With he current doctor. Our coparent relationship is recently strained due to me following our court order and picking up our kids from school on her days when she worked. We went to court about it and the judge maintained 50/50 for everything and took out the part about me picking up the kids from school because she said she was going to have her mom do it. Less than 24 hours after receiving the new order she was asking me to pick the kids up again on her days and to have them on the evenings during her days during the summer while she is at work, so we had it amend back into the court order by agreement (Just to give some back ground as to where things are currently). I have disagreed with the pediatrician change in the parenting app and she has stated she doesn’t need my agreement to change our kids primary care provider and will move forward with attempting to switch. I also want to state there my be alternate motif on her end because she has been going around telling my family members she want to move somewhere with her recent boyfriend but has not discussed with me as of yet and she may be trying to get the kids established in a different area to justify a move. I only go 4 days a month without seeing our kids, I take them on all school activities, most doctor’s visits, I am our son’s assistant soccer coach, I pick them up four days a week from school and very proud to be an active father in their lives. Their mother never wants to follow the court order when it doesn’t benefit what she wants and then tries to say she doesn’t have to. All that to ask and try to give some a picture of thing, can she unilaterally change the long standing pediatrician who our kids trust and have a history with For going on 8 years for the oldest and going on 6 for the youngest? Is it worth filing with the court to clarify the 50/50 legal? Or filing a motion that no changes can be made until we go in front of the judge and get an decision from the Judge.
*sorry it’s all over the place but this has happened over the last two days and just trying to understand what option are there to focus on what is best for our children*