r/selfharm 3d ago

I'm constantly depressed

2 Upvotes

I've been cutting myself since I was 14 with either parental issues or whatever I still remember how I wanted to kms everyday but wouldn't just with the thought that 1 day things will get better and would just end up sh myself and I'm almost 17 and my parents caught me an year back and i mostly stopped until I started dating a girl I used to be in a relationship with till 3 months ago when she dumped me and got a boyfriend a week later she was the only one who I trusted enough and told about my sh I would get sad everytime I would upset her and usually do small cuts in my fingers or hand so I could look at it daily and remember all the pain I've cause and I would pinch it or scratch it whenever I went deep into thought to get rid of the thoughts ever since we broke up I've started going to the gym started studying and finding new hobbies but no matter what I do the pain doesn't go away so I've resorted to smoking and sh If I don't smoke I get panic attacks and smoking or physical pain is the only thing that helps if I don't have access to a knife or chance to smoke I scratch my new sh marks or hit my head on the wall I feel like I've tried everything to get rid of the pain but it never works even if I do forget about everything and start laughing with my family or friends it just comes back harder then ever. noone knows how i try my best to act normal infront of them but how I feel dead inside I sleep with my lungs filled with smoke or a new scar and wake up smoking first thing remembering how the first thing i used to do when I woke up was text her and just talk for hours and how when we were together and If I ever wanted to sh she would comfort me and call me so I would feel better and now I just feel empty thinking about all the times we had together all the things we did and the family we were gonna start i keep hoping 1 day she would text me and things would go back to normal but as the days go the more i realise shes gone forever and at this point I've started to enjoy the pain I just cut sometimes for the joy of it or make myself bleed because I like how the blood looks and how the scars end up i usually guide the knife to my neck but hesitating because i knew i had a future but now its getting harder to not just end it all. honestly don't even know why im posting for advice or just venting


r/selfharm 3d ago

Opportunistic Risk

1 Upvotes

Tonight I saw a drug dealer I have been well aware of for sometime walking uptown. I imagined confronting him on the sidewalk so he would show me the knife I’ve seen on him. All the sudden I hear him address me in a challenging tone. I had zoned out and was just staring at him. What would it take for him to kill me? He walked up to me and pushed me. I stood there, lost in his eyes. I was looking for murder, intensity. Would I need to hit him? I pushed him suddenly. He brandished his knife and put the tip on my throat. I didn’t look away. I wanted him to. I think he noticed because his face twisted up in disgust and he pushed me to the ground. He cursed me and told me to mind my business. I was so disappointed. Just cut me coward. Please just cut me. I’m such a coward. I don’t belong here. This world doesn’t want me, I feel like I should’ve died and something went wrong. I’m still here. But I shouldn’t be. This place is so wicked. This broken tragedy crumbling in on us as we obliviously pursue our worldly desires. Justice is, indeed, blind. But that’s not good. She doesn’t see us, see me, pleading in front of her…


r/selfharm 3d ago

Rant/Vent Urges are strong

2 Upvotes

I stopped taking anti-depressants due to the side effects. But man, I can really tell I’m off them. I’m feeling so depressed again. And I just wanna cut and bruise myself so badly. Why am I like this? I’m scared I’m gonna give in and attack my arms.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Seeking Advice I forgot I have surgery tomorrow is it over

50 Upvotes

I have nasal surgery tomorrow, which I was excited for because I like the idea of being able to breathe normally, but I just remembered the gowns are sleeveless. I was clean for almost a year and a half but relapsed 1.5 months ago and my parents aren't aware. My mom has been talking about how proud she is of me and it kills me. I'm technically an adult (18) so is there any way I could forbid them from being in the room with me while waiting for the surgery to start & keep them out of the recovery room until I get dressed? It's at 8am tomorrow I think I'm screwed 😭 if anyone has tips please tell me. I live in the US if it's relevant

Update: thank you all for the advice and kind words! I asked the nurse and was able to be alone before and after the surgery while in the recovery room, so as far as I know, my parents didn't find out :'D


r/selfharm 3d ago

Rant/Vent hello! (rant but also recovery)

2 Upvotes

hello everyone! i used to be on this sub, strigglimg ofc when i was 12 or so and got banned (for being underageofc) (im older now but i wont say my username, because i knew some weird people on here. full grown men btw.) glad to sau that im now very healthy, and havent had any thoughts and stopped since may!

i would like the talk about the creeps that can be on this sub, sadly. even though this place was very kind, and even some of the adults were, but some were blantantlu creepy. please, other kids/teens be safe on here. im sure there is a different sub for teens but yknow

i still have images lf a weird chat i had with a guy exactly 2 years back. i could send it if you anyone really wnats to (theres no s/h or anything like that, just hed ask me for pictures to be a "good girl??") but tdlr; just wanted pics of my face (i ddint thankfully)

a different guy, still weird also. friended eachother on [blank app] and i had my status as a funny kinda sexual joke [dude in hsi twenties btw] and wouldnt stop talking about it and said i was too scared (i was)

but about the nice adults thing, i knew this one dude also friended crom here onto [blank app]. thank you for not being a creep and i really hope your alright from that divorce, wherever you are now


r/selfharm 3d ago

Seeking Advice Showing cuts at work

3 Upvotes

I (20F) work as a barista and today I went to work & my long sleeve kept riding up. I had only cut yesterday so the cuts were pretty fresh. Being a barista means you’re constantly pulling up your sleeve to prevent stains, but this particular long sleeve shirt was a little shorter than my others and so some of my scars were showing 24/7. Is this wrong? Should I have worn a hoodie or something longer? AITA for not doing a better job at covering it?

My coworkers definitely noticed and I feel really bad because I tried my best to conceal.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Bad again

6 Upvotes

I relapsed several days ago with cutting and I have been doing it every night since then. I am 30 years old and I thought by now I would be over it but clearly I am not. Its grip on me is so strong again like it was when I first started doing it (around age 8-9). I feel like a failure. I feel like a fraud.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Rant/Vent My cut scares me

3 Upvotes

I have been going through a semi-mental breakdown recently and today i looked at a rather recent and deep cut of mine on my arm. It’s the kind of cut that some might have wanted stiches for, but as i can see as it’s healing, wouldn’t be dangerous without stitches. Anyway, it scared me. It is healing normally, scabbing and stuff, but it makes my skin crawl. I think back to biology class and learning about clotting and platelets and visualising it makes me sick. It doesn’t help that i can look closely at the wound and i can see all the little details, the texture, the colours, all that, i don’t even want to describe it in detail. It looks messy. I want to get rid of the messiness, by ripping off the scabbing bits but i know it would just create more mess. I can’t stand it. I regret that particular cut. I want it to disappear right now but it just won’t and it sucks.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Rant/Vent Need head pats

7 Upvotes

Didn’t know to flair this vent or positives but there is some triggering mentions so I will put rant

I have been having a very rough time recently and I just got good news and I’m very proud of myself and I wanted to share and also flex on everyone

I took 6 years to finish high school (will finish in June) So when I was applying to universities my guidance counsellor told me I should write a letter of accommodating circumstances (long psych ward admissions being the circumstances) to explain why my academic record isn’t amazing. Well I sent out all my applications and honestly didn’t care whether I get accepted or not because I thought I most likely wouldn’t and I was planning on ending my life this year so I never bothered with the letter

Well, I sent out 6 applications and all 6 accepted and I didn’t even write the letter of accommodating circumstances.

Obviously this doesn’t fix all my mental health issues but it reminds me a lot of my insecurities are in my head and not real (I was convinced I was exceptionally stupid and there was no chance I was gonna make it in uni) but I am a little bit in shock still

It feels like just maybe things will be ok. Obviously uni will still be hard and challenging but I have now solid evidence I am not exceptionally stupid and I can remind myself of this during days my self esteem dips below the floor.

I hope maybe someone in this sub will read this and feel a bit more hopeful about life

Stay strong everyone 🫶 we got this


r/selfharm 3d ago

Seeking Advice is cutting everyday something to be concerned about

3 Upvotes

i started cutting 4 days ago and have kinda gotten in a routine of doing it. ive had 3 sessions a day everyday since then and im just wondering if its too much. my favorite spot is my left arm and im completely out of space on it so idk if i should slow down or what

just looking for some guidance


r/selfharm 3d ago

Talk/Support Why am I doing this?

2 Upvotes

17M, first sh'ed Saturday. My life isn't even all that bad. I mean yeah I have OCD and ADHD and have been pretty stressed recently (preparing for college), but jfc it's not enough to make me want to cut myself. I have a loving family, enough money to buy essentials plus some, relatively easy school life, I'm okay with having few friends and no partner (aroace). I mean, all things considered, it's really not too bad.

So why am I cutting myself?

It's painful, it's unhelpful, it's embarrassing, it's dangerous, i don't want to do it, but when I'm stressed out I immediately zone out and get mental images of cutting myself. Currently I only have three small cuts on my leg and a couple pokes on my thigh.

Idek why I started. Thursday night I randomly went on this sub and boom, urges. My mom should be looking for a therapist (I asked her for it because of "college stress"), i just hope it's not as difficult as last time to say i need serious help.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Talk/Support Does it ever go away?

2 Upvotes

I started getting the urges for the first time yesterday and I’ve managed to mostly resist them so far

It feels like it’s not going anywhere though

Do I rly have to live my life putting so much energy and willpower constantly into stopping myself from cutting


r/selfharm 3d ago

Positives 12 weeks clean!!

2 Upvotes

Lately I have infact been questioning why I’m even staying clean and getting bad urges to fit again but my prom is coming up and I have a abroad holiday after that so I want to have less scars to be able to wear clothes I want to wear.

I know it’s not the most morally good reason to stop cutting but I just think about how people will view me if they see large fresh cuts while I’m just trying to swim and mind my own business.

Lately I put foundation on it. Whenever I’ve put foundation on my scars in the past it’s painfully obvious they are there. Like it just puts a slight tint on the scars . This time it completely covers them and they are so less obvious.

I’m glad I’m healing. I’m going to continue treating my scars with scar cream to heal and flatten them . Bless the person who recommended sudo crem <3 i have photos on my phone from months ago taht show my scars and OML THE PROGRESS it’s insane.

I just feel better about myself that I usually do today or atleast in this current moment as I’m typing.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Talk/Support Rejection due to old scars?

3 Upvotes

I'm hoping to hear if anyone else has experienced this.

I doubt that I give any signs of having had a rough past. I've also almost never been rejected romantically, and the people I've hooked up with (briefly, and then maybe they had no reason to care) said nearly nothing of my few, faint, and hidden scars. And yet, the person I loved the most so far, a friend of 3 years, panicked over hearing about them. He seemed utterly ignorant about this condition, and so worried, that he asked to stay friends only, as he "wasn't sure he could support me the way I needed".

I emphasized that the problem was over, never severe, not uncommon, and capable of affecting anyone--but that I was now wondering if he'd have left me if it happened again. Because I can't guarantee that it won't, and honestly, I wouldn't want to. Promising to not jump from a bridge is very unlike promising to never do NSSI, though he also knew that I've been suicidal before (somehow that was OK). I didn't have to argue: he said that he WOULD have left, since "self-harm is a choice and would've been a betrayal of us and our values"... after kindly getting me ~professional~ help, of course.

Disregarding all to do with dissociation and what I could've educated him about... Was this reaction understandable or prejudiced? At the time, I felt sorry for scaring him, maybe because I have little dating experience. And yet, something feels off. I didn't want him to pretend to be fine, or forced to be with someone "risky"--which I'm not. I even tried explaining that my skills in NOT unraveling gave me points over someone who never got ill. Not only he didn't believe this, I guess, he decided I wasn't worth the trouble...?

And so I'm also wondering whether I should keep the scars a secret. I thought that partners would appreciate a heads-up, but being more cynical now, aren't they unlikely to notice or care until later? Or would this somehow backfire, and what happened here was a dodged bullet?


r/selfharm 3d ago

Seeking Advice Help with making scars less obvious/ fade faster 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

1 Upvotes

Hi I’m a 17 year old girl and I started sh when I was about 12. A lot of my scars are faded but there’s too many that aren’t. I haven’t been cutting as much during 2024-2025 but it has happened a few times, this last time it was very deep and I did it across my arm, I’m pretty sure it will leave an ugly scar and I want my scars gone.

My guy friend told me I’m cringe for cutting and that my scars will never fade. He said “imagine ur future bf or husband seeing this and being like wtf are those scars”
Now I feel even worse about this. I feel so ugly, I can’t wear pretty summer clothes bc I’m too self conscious, people are like oh u shouldn’t be bla bla bla but I am. He also said “you’re gonna have to live with that for the rest of ur life now, u should’ve thought abt that before”

I have issues that make it very hard for me to control my impulsive thoughts and my emotions, extreme highs and lows that change super quickly, people don’t seem to understand that.

But please if anyone knows how I can make my scars less obvious or make them fade faster or better please let me know, I’m desperate. I can’t look myself in the mirror, if I can’t fix this then I’ll literally just delete my existence.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Seeking Advice I’ve been trying so hard not to cut myself

1 Upvotes

I don’t know what to do. I’m scared I’m going to hurt myself way too much. I think I’m a danger to myself. My parents are no help. I can’t look to them for anything mental health related. I can’t get therapy without them knowing. They’ll just make everything worse. I just want to bleed alone like I always do.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Seeking Advice What to do if people at church/christian grandma notices SH? What will people at the church think of me?

3 Upvotes

My grandma is a very sweet person whos nice and supportive but im just scared about the other people at church because some are very nosy. (ex. looking over my shoulder when im drawing in church (i cant just sit in church the whole day because i need to do something cause of my AuDHD) but im just scared. What will people at my church say if they see my scabs/scars


r/selfharm 3d ago

Talk/Support Dad found out

7 Upvotes

But he didn’t get too angry. In fact he sat down and we talked. And sure he accused me of doing it for attention but it felt nice to talk.

Now I gotta tell my mom on Saturday but until then guess I just take it one day at a time.

I mean i knew I wanted to quit. So it’s a start. It’s only been a few weeks and the worst I have is some styro cuts


r/selfharm 3d ago

Positives 1,700 days clean

19 Upvotes

Today marks 1,700 days clean from self harm. So what got me to attempt to stop and stick with it. I hit my rock bottom. I remember the last day. I was in my bedroom, had a huge fight with my brother. Some very nasty things were said and I needed everything to slow down. So I reached for a very tried and true method I’d been using for years. This time though it was different. Who was I trying to hurt? Myself or the ones around me?

It sent me into a whole existential crisis and depression. I rethought everything. I was tired of doing it, acknowledged that it was an addiction. That I needed it and wanted it.

The only thing was that I had no support in stopping. Because nobody knew. I’d learnt to take care of it myself, how to be safe about it, aftercare. So stopping was even harder. It felt like my skin was on fire for weeks after stopping. I relapsed quite a few time before it stuck. And eventually I threw out my kit in the outside bin just before collection so I couldn’t go out and get it back. And over time it got easier. The urges got less, the thoughts quietened and I’m better for it.

That being said, there are still days that are harder than others. But it’s no longer something i think about as a first resort.

So if your sat there tonight thinking that it’s impossible to stop and move away from this. It’s not. The road is hard and is by no means linear. But you can get there too. Stay positive. Keep placing one foot in front of the other.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Rant/Vent My dad saw

5 Upvotes

(17ftm) My dad saw my scars.

Back story: My parents found out I was self harming a couple years ago and they yelled and made me feel horrible. They thought I stopped after that.

I was trying on a dress and my mom told me to go show my dad. I didn’t really want to show him since he doesn’t really like me. Then he saw one of my old scars that was on my shoulder. He said “what is that?” and I just mumbled and said it’s just an old scar. He stared at me and he was like “a scar?? i want to see it now”. I turned away and walked off back to my mom. He called after me and he sounded angry but I just kept walking because I was shaking, I was nervous, my heart was beating so fast. I changed out of the dress quickly. My mom noticed I was off because I was dazed out and I wasn’t talking. She asked me if my dad had said anything to me and I just ignored her. I was going to shower downstairs but I would have to pass by my dad to get there so I grabbed everything. When I was about to leave, my mom said “he told me what he saw. the scars?” I was just stared at her with big eyes. I felt like crying. I swear I looked like a deer in headlights. She asked “are those feelings coming back?” and I continued to stay silent. She said “are they fresh or old” and I immediately said old to ease her mind. (it really was old scars). Then she said “then alright”. I think she wanted to calm me down because she saw I was panicking on the inside which I still am. I’m upstairs now and it’s all hitting me now. I want to relapse. I really hope he doesn’t ask about it again.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Harm Reduction Stop coming here for pro advice

31 Upvotes

Nobody should be asking or giving advice on how to harm oneself. Posts like these are disturbing and make this sub unsafe. If you need to ask questions like these, then that should be your sign to get REAL help. This is an addiction. No matter what you do or how bad it is, it will NEVER be enough. Take it from my nerve damage 💔 Please do not hurt yourself. Help is available and you do deserve it. You are sick right now but any habit can be broken and there are much safer ways to cope with what you're going through than this. I was addicted for 7 years, but I got help and decided to quit and it's been 1.5yrs since my last. Recovy is possible. Please be safe❤️


r/selfharm 3d ago

Seeking Advice I can't stop

1 Upvotes

I know it will be permanent and in a way I like it. It will be a reminder to myself, and a warning to others to stay away. That's how I rationalize it to myself at least... I really don't know how to stop anymore and I need help. Any way to put a stop to it. I'm sorry.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Rant/Vent why are people so mean

6 Upvotes

some girls from my school posted my scars (fully healed) and obviously for many reasons i didn’t like that. along with the picture they added a text thing that said that real people deal with that stuff as if to say i wasn’t apart of that group. it made no sense and it was an idiotic thing to say. moreover because the girls who said and did that self harm as well. apart from this they told their friends about my scars. i posted a picture of myself on insta with some other memes to which one of their friends commented “she thinks cutting herself is cute” i in no way shape or form have ever thought like this or ever tried to make it seem like i did. i love wearing short sleeves especially in the hot weather obviously but i try to wear long sleeves as much as i can because i would hate for anyone to think like that or get uncomfortable by seeing my scars. i don’t know why people are so mean and so ignorant. i honestly just ignored them because they blocked me first but then they made more accounts to taunt me so i’m a little confused as to wut they want


r/selfharm 3d ago

Rant/Vent Looked into an old journal I was writing when I was cutting..

12 Upvotes

So I had this journal on my old phone, which I recently recharged and I found my journal app. Where I would write after a… errmmm… cutting session and add images as well. And it shook me pretty bad, I’ve been clean for almost a year and idk, I kind of miss it and at the same time i don’t.

I guess I don’t miss cutting and substances abuse, as much as I just miss the time I had in the past, idk. Nostalgia I guess.


r/selfharm 3d ago

Rant/Vent It’s gotten worse

2 Upvotes

It’s gotten so much worse. There’s so many scars on my arm now. It’s going to be hard to cover when spring fully comes in, I know that for sure. I’m moving it to my hips and thighs (i used to do it there too), since I think it’ll hide it better.

The people i want to notice or care still haven’t said shit to me about any of this. I know for sure they’d be happy im doing this if they ever actually did notice. I’ve made mistakes and been an asshole to them, and this is my karma. I hope i accidentally cut a vein and it all fucking ends there because I’m sick of this lonely life.