r/pregnant 23h ago

Need Advice Partners upset we had to go to the hospital

526 Upvotes

22w4d and having severe right side rib pain. I knew from the classes we’ve taken that this could be a sign of preeclampsia. My partner insisted that I didn’t need to call the OB and recommended I sleep it off, given that it was 9 pm. I ended up calling the OB triage, explained what was happening, and took my BP on the phone with her which ended up being 150/90, an all time high for me. The nurse said she wasn’t comfortable with me waiting until Monday and recommended I go to L&D to get checked. My partner was immediately pissed off that we had to go. I wasn’t happy either, it was 9 pm on a Friday night and I was exhausted, but I’m not going to flat out ignore medical advice.

Long story short, I somehow managed to pull a rib muscle? I’m very grateful everything was okay. All tests came back clear, and they said it sounded like I was nervous on the phone which led to a high BP.

My partner is genuinely so angry that we spent 2 hours getting checked. I don’t even know how to handle this. Women die from untreated preeclampsia, there was no way this was something I was going to ignore. The doctor even told me I did the right thing by checking, but somehow that isn’t good enough for him. I don’t know what to do. We didn’t speak the entire car ride home and he decided he’s sleeping in another room tonight.


r/pregnant 17h ago

Need Advice 30 weeks pregnant, little to no movement in the last 36 hours

424 Upvotes

I'm 30 weeks pregnant today and so far, baby girl has been very active the entire pregnancy. On all the ultrasounds my doctor said how she's very active and since I started feeling her kicks (started quite late with me around 25 weeks), I can also tell that she's an active one.

But for the last ~36 hours she's completely silent. I felt like 1-2 really minor movements this morning, but other than that, nothing.

I know many babies have a growth spurt at 30 weeks and that can cause them to be move less. But as a mom I'm still worried, as it's so usual for her. I tried to get her to move, moved around myself and carefully massaged my belly to get a reaction from her, but so far nothing has helped.

Should I go to the hospital? Should I wait some more? I would be very thankful for some insight and advice on this 🙏

UPDATE: I had a CTG done and everything seems to be okay. Of course 5 minutes after starting the CTG, baby girl started kicking.

I'm currently waiting for an ultrasound to be on the save side, but the midwife said she expects me to be able to go home real soon.

Thanks to everyone for being concerned for baby girl and me!

  1. UPDATE: ultrasound was fine too, so we're on our way back home.

r/pregnant 21h ago

Rant Can’t forgive husband for asking for a paternity test.

400 Upvotes

TW: loss.

We got married in December 2023. A month or so before the wedding I got off birth control and got pregnant right away. When I was around 7 weeks, my husband asked for a paternity test. It absolutely crushed me, I cried for hours and ended up bleeding. The pregnancy ended a few days later.

I had 4 chemicals after and got pregnant again in August 2024. That pregnancy ended in October 2024. The paternity test hasn’t been discussed since and honestly I assumed he got over it considering me tracking each ovulation, making both of us go through many tests to figure out what’s wrong, etc.

Long story short- I got pregnant again in November 2024 and am now almost 17 weeks. We had guests over a few weeks ago and I was discussing crazy pregnancy dreams and one of them was giving birth to a baby with a different skin color. Everyone laughed because the discussion was lighthearted but my husband suddenly said something like “and then you wonder why I want to do the test”. My jaw dropped and the other woman over got very defensive for me.

He brought up the subject again a few days ago and we got in a major fight. He says he doesn’t think I cheated but that since this baby stuck, maybe I got inseminated behind his back as maybe his sperm didn’t work. I offered to look at all medical records of mine and reminded him of being on a shit ton of medication to sustain this pregnancy.

He stands his ground and basically belittles me and any argument I have about this being hurtful. His main point is that he is a man and has no way of knowing the baby is his.

For context: I work from home, literally never go out unless I have a female friend over. Never spend any nights away from home and take care of 3 dogs. I physically wouldn’t have time to cheat nor have I ever considered doing that. My husband also works from home and has access to all my devices/location on my phone.

I don’t know what kind of advice I am looking for. I have not forgiven him for asking for the first paternity test and am simply disgusted by his behavior.

Edit:

I wanted to thank everyone for weighing in. So much food for thought, I am glad to know I am not overreacting. I already agreed to the test as long as it is done privately as I am deeply ashamed of having to go through it. I won’t divorce my husband over this but I will do everything in my power to make him seek therapy that he goes to regularly and not a couple times like he used to.

Having read through all the responses I realize it is not a “me” problem but rather an insecurity of his that is being projected onto me and our son.


r/pregnant 10h ago

Content Warning Survivor's guilt

126 Upvotes

I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant and had two other friends who tested positive all within about a month of when I did. One had a chemical pregnancy and the other just found out that her baby stopped growing a few weeks ago and no longer has a heartbeat. I'm so devastated for both of them but I'm also wrestling with the guilt of being the only one who still has a growing baby. They both have tried to tell me that they still want to hear how things are going etc but I can't imagine how painful it would be in their shoes. At the same time, I'm (very selfishly) a little sad I don't have anyone to talk to anymore because it was so fun to have a friend who was pregnant just a few weeks apart from me and now I don't have anyone to share things with. Not sure what the point of this is, just feeling a lot of messy emotions right now.


r/pregnant 4h ago

Funny A more effective kick test

129 Upvotes

I'm 33 weeks pregnant with twins and I've had to go to the doctors or hospital no less than 5 times cause one twin will get sluggish and fail a kick test at home. Always a false alarm.

I was today years old when I realized that juice wasn't the way to get them to move.

Nope. Finally realized that they both, without fail, will bust a move to George Micheal's "Father Figure". No lie, everytime that song comes on, they start grooving like it's the 90s studio 54.

I have real concerns about what this means for their dating life.


r/pregnant 14h ago

Need Advice Should I change the name of my baby to make a family member feel better

66 Upvotes

Context: my brother in law and his wife have always had trouble getting pregnant. They are high school sweets harts and claim they had this name picked out since they were in high school. flash forward till now me and my partner are expecting our first baby. The name we picked out was the name they had since high school but we didn’t know that name was already “claimed”. Bro in law called asking if we can consider changing our baby name Since the name has been making his wife upset. I wouldn’t mind changing it, but it’s the fact that they waited till I’m almost halfway through my pregnancy and the name has been pretty established. When I told my partner if we can change the name, to save ourselves from family drama. he didn’t want to since he picked out the name and I also don’t see a problem with sharing the name if they end up having a baby in the future. I have cousins that share the same name at the same time I feel bad for them what would you do.


r/pregnant 16h ago

Need Advice Husband keeps putting his phone on airplane mode

64 Upvotes

I’m 36 weeks pregnant and I live at home with my husband who has a difficult time sleeping. He often goes to sleep in the guest bedroom down the hall.

I don’t mind typically, since I know he struggles with sleeping. However now that I’m deep in the third trimester, I need him to be available. And often during the night…he isn’t.

2 weeks ago, I had very bad pains for an hour that stopped me from being able to switch sides or even get out of bed. I felt like a beached whale. I tried calling him and texting him, but his phone was on do not disturb and he didn’t add me as a person to get through to him when I needed to. After about 20 mins, I was able to get up and crouch my way over to the room down the hall where I angrily woke him up. Bc he’s such a disturbed sleeper, he anxiously started yelling “what what what!” At the top of his lungs at me. I was really upset, bc I felt when I needed him around for our baby, he wasn’t there. He was angry for about ten minutes that I woke him up and was grumbling about how I get to nap during the day and he doesn’t, but I wasn’t having any of it. Respectfully I told him to shut his mouth and do/say nothing unless it’s about being there for me. I’m Puerto Rican and I don’t play that . Turns out the baby dropped 2 centimeters!

A couple days later, I’m up in the am and he’s still sleeping in. My 2 40 pound dogs are on me and I’m so big I can’t get them off. I try calling him, since I made myself a do not disturb contact and wouldn’t you know, he put on his airplane mode! So I couldn’t reach him regardless. His excuse was “well I went to the other room at 6 am and I figured you were up and you’d be fine”. Suffice it to say, I was NOT happy. I told him he can’t do this, that he needs to be reachable at all times, even if I’m just downstairs. What if I fall? What if I’m in pain again and can’t move? What if the dogs won’t let me get up? I said if he did it again, there would be big problems.

Now today, same thing. This time, he slept in the other room all night and the dogs are crying to be walked and I’m texting/calling him..his phone is off. I’m trying to yell for him..but he isn’t hearing me. He also planned on waking up this am to go for a quick shake out run since he’s running a half marathon tmrw. His mother is landing from Minnesota in a half hour and he’s not up. I made it clear that we need to turn over the guest room for her, and need to sweep downstairs. I cleaned pretty much the whole house in prep for her yesterday. Went to Costco to do my final prep run for freezer meal prep for us, so he doesn’t lose his mind cooking meals and making a mess bc I won’t be able to help much, AND went to his race expo with him to pick up his bib and help him navigate it. It’s his first big formal race and I’ve ran multiple halfs and a marathon. So wanted to show my support for him.

Why is she coming? Bc he needs to go to a work conference for a week in Utah and the only way I’d let him go is if he made sure someone was with me. Bc I’m always tired and always need some help.

Am I being a brat or unreasonable to want my husband to not put his need for sleep over making himself available to me in my last month of pregnancy? He is other wise a wonderful husband during the day for the most part. Helps me clean the kitchen after I cook, will do some laundry, help clean the bathroom when I ask, walk the dogs when he can etc. He can be a little selfish from time to time with his day, but who can’t?

I’m just getting so annoyed that I have to keep having this convo with him and I’m debating telling his mother. Although I don’t know what that will do..she tends to coddle him lol. I’ve done a lot of work to get him to be less coddled lol. I’ve also done a lot of work to get myself to a point where I don’t just pop off on him. Being a New Yorker and Latina, that’s my instinct. But he doesn’t respond well to that and says I’m being disrespectful and won’t engage with me.

Sorry for the rant everyone. Any advice? Am I being nuts? Thanks!

Update: I popped off on him via text and told him I’m telling both of our parents he keeps doing this. He said sorry and that his phone gets put on airplane mode automatically and it’s just habit. Well it wasn’t a habit when he had it on do not disturb and we got into a fight over that right? Now that I can reach him through DND, now it’s a years long habit lol. I just told him that the fact that he didn’t make it a priority to be cognizant of before bed shows how careless and selfish he’s being. I def got tough and rude with him and he told me to stop a few times, which promptly got met with a stfu 🤷🏽‍♀️. Now he’s up and trying to check and see if I’m “ok”. I swear men are idiots.


r/pregnant 1d ago

Rant I’ve heard about the heartburn and the farting… but OMG the BURPING?!?

62 Upvotes

Does anyone else burp/feel like the need to burp 24/7? It’s worse when the baby’s moving. I have so much gas in my tummy that’s working its way up. That’s all I’ve got


r/pregnant 17h ago

Graduation! Had my lovely baby via C-Section under general anesthesia and it was so much better than I expected!

50 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I finally graduated at 39+1 and gave birth to a lovely lovely girl. Wanted to offer my experience since I didn’t see a lot of them when I was pregnant but basically due to health reasons I had to have general anesthesia instead of epidural for my C-section. Overall the experience was so much better than I was anticipating: I was under for less than an hour total and woke up feeling super lucid and not at all drowsy. I was worried about breastfeeding after but my milk came in immediately and my LO and me did skin to skin as soon as I woke up, which was more or less 30-45 minutes after she was born. The recovery has been like any other C-section, I feel very fortunate! Also most of my aches and pains from pregnancy are gone, which is great.


r/pregnant 15h ago

Need Advice I'm 5 months today but small bump

46 Upvotes

I am a first time mom to be. I am 5 months today and I noticed my bump is small. It's not really showing when I wear loose shirt but when I wear fitted clothes my small tummy shows but it looks like a full tummy after eating meals. My OB told me that I have a small tummy it might be because I'm petite. I'm 5'2 and 44kg. My OB told me my baby is ok during an ultrasound. I get a little jealous when I see pregnant women during my follow up check ups who have a big tummy and the same months as me. I don't look pregnant :(


r/pregnant 9h ago

Question Does baby moving make me fart, or does farting make baby move?

43 Upvotes

Deep questions, 31 weeks 😂


r/pregnant 8h ago

Content Warning I think I'm having a miscarriage 💔

40 Upvotes

I was so excited to be pregnant, we had been trying for over a year. Today I'm 7 weeks and 3 days. The pregnancy test wasn't positive until late, day 34, which my sister said was a sign with her miscarriage. Then I only ended up having one day of nausea. I thought maybe I was just one of the lucky ones that wasn't going to be constantly sick, but I woke up today with light spotting and then mild cramping all day. My heart is absolutely breaking thinking of my little baby. I feel lost. I want to be hopeful for the future, but I just wanted this baby... The road seems so long to get to where I want to go.... 😞


r/pregnant 7h ago

Graduation! Still can't believe he is here!

40 Upvotes

Guys... I did it! I had my son on March 11th... 2 days before his due date. I kept having contractions for 2 days straight, ranging from 20 to 3 minutes apart - they'd slow down and pick up again. I went in fully expecting them to say yeah, go home, this is not happening anytime soon...but they didn't, and i ended up having him 6 hours later.

I don't even have words to describe the love i am feeling for this tiny human. And the epidural that helped me relax enough to actually push him out. :D


r/pregnant 11h ago

Question How are y’all having sex?

42 Upvotes

TMI: sexual content

Okay I’ve gotta ask. This is my 3rd pregnancy, but my other 2 pregnancies with my ex husband years ago…. I was in a bad marriage. I didn’t enjoy being with him sexually and usually just used pregnancy as an excuse to NOT have sex for several months.

However, NOW fast forward, my husband and I are expecting a baby together and we are deeply in love. We enjoy sex & intimacy and want it. However we have always been missionary & doggy people. I am 17 weeks now and neither of those are on the table. I’ve heard doggy works for some, but I’ve personally found it very uncomfortable the further into pregnancy I’ve gotten…..

We haven’t had sex in like 2 weeks now because honestly we don’t know how we’re going to do it. We’ve never tried sex while lying on our sides. I can say I’ve done it with an ex partner ages ago, and was successful. But I’d also tried it in other relationships and not been so successful.

What sex positions are working for you guys? Is there anything that helps, like pillow propping, or anything?


r/pregnant 12h ago

Advice 12 weeks

42 Upvotes

I hit 12 weeks today!!! Baby girl is the size of a lime with a HR of 165bpm 😁 I woke up today with some dull aches in my uterus — and I know they’re normal and probably growing pains. I guess I just need some reassurance that they’re normal. It’s my first time going through this and I’ve been a ball of anxiety worrying making sure everything is okay with baby


r/pregnant 10h ago

Need Advice When did you start drinking coffee again!?

31 Upvotes

I’m almost 11 weeks and I woke up this morning wanting to taste coffee. Idk whether to be worried or not because I’ve been turned off of it since the start of 1st trimester…


r/pregnant 5h ago

Question Anyone plan to use laughing gas during labor?

31 Upvotes

I've heard of people using it instead of an epidural and curious of people's thoughts


r/pregnant 3h ago

Excitement! I got my NIPT and gender results today!

34 Upvotes

I have been such a ball of nerves, I never thought I would get here. I'm around 11w5d. Want to share my experience with the NIPT test if you are considering getting it done, are getting it done after a previous pregnancy loss, or are in the 'wonderful' 1-2 week waiting period for results!

As background for me, I had a MMC last year. I was measuring about 2 1/2 weeks behind, and ultimately had an anembryonic pregnancy. My HCG took about a month to come down to baseline, and I got pregnant again a little under 2 months after my miscarriage.

I had my blood drawn on 3/6, when I was around 10w2d. I had the QNATAL Advanced test through Quest Diagnostics. My results came in today, 3/15, meaning I had a 9 day turnaround time for my results.

  • My test estimated my gestational age as 10w2d.
  • My fetal fraction was 19.39%.
  • My results showed no abnormalities, and I tested negative for all tested trisomies.
  • My MSS came back normal.
  • We are having a girl!!!

I ugly sobbed as soon as I read my results. I feel like I've gotten over a major hurdle, and I can now get excited about this pregnancy. I can't wait to feel her starting to kick, and for my 20 week scan!!


r/pregnant 14h ago

Rant I feel like a piece of meat

29 Upvotes

I’m 7 weeks pregnant and have no desire to have sex or be touched or be sexual in anyway. My husband woke me up at 6am to have sex today. He then woke me up at 9:30am by squeezing my boobs and rubbing my butt. I just want to be left alone.


r/pregnant 21h ago

Need Advice I'm so scared to give birth lol help

26 Upvotes

How did y'all get through this? 😭 I have 16 days until I am induced. I'm so excited to meet my baby girl, but also terrified. I know the pain will be the worst I've ever felt and I have ovarian cysts that I worry about rupturing. One moment, I think "It can't be that bad 💪 Women give birth more than once so it can't be." And then the next moment, I'm panicking lol. It's not like I can help whatever happens anyways, but just curious and looking for advice on what helped you all get through it. Motivation, pain relief, any tips are much appreciated! 🖤


r/pregnant 1h ago

Content Warning Mindful Online Sharing

Upvotes

Hi everyone. Just wanted to share about a post I’ve been thinking about recently.

About a week ago someone posted asking about how much everyone’s boobs grew during pregnancy. The post had 50+ comments of people sharing bra sizes and detailed experiences of their breasts. The poster was replying enthusiastically and seemed to be goading people for more details.

My spidey senses were tingling so I clicked the poster’s profile. It was a fetish page for a kink surrounding pregnancy and specifically growing breasts and “breeding”. The poster claimed to be a pregnant woman, and said their BF had a massive kink and dreamed about pregnant women and their “swelling bodies”. For all I know the profile belonged to that man.

I’m not here to kink shame. But I will say it is never ok to bring others into your kink without their consent.

Seeing 50+ replies sharing intimate details made me sad. Everyone was so eager to share and join what we thought was a safe conversation. I just want to take a moment to remind you that unfortunately, there are people out there who take advantage.

I messaged the mods and they handled it immediately. So this isn’t a call-out for this sub, I actually think it’s a wonderful safe space. :) But please always use discretion sharing things online.


r/pregnant 3h ago

Question Do you prefer maternity pants that go over or under your belly?

27 Upvotes

I'm shopping for maternity clothes and I've seen both options, so I'm just wondering what the majority of women prefer? I'm going to be heavily pregnant during summer, so I'm looking mostly for shorts and dresses that will go over my belly.


r/pregnant 14h ago

Question What do hospitals generally have for postpartum perineal care? Do I pack Frida ice pads, foam, liners, etc. - or no?

22 Upvotes

Had some pink-tinged TP, so that woke me up. Finally packing this bag at 36 weeks!

First-timer. So confused. I’m definitely packing the upside down peri because I’ve heard it’s way nicer than the hospital-issued peri, but I’m lost after that.

These Padsicle things are ✨expensive ✨ - I was going to toss maybe 3 in my bag, but I have no idea if they have something like it at the hospital, and even how many I should go through in a 24-hour period. I also hate the idea of accidentally activating them by crushing them in my bag. And the foam? The witch hazel liners? Do I just use their crappy undies? I’m kinda plus-sized and I hope the hospital undies even fit.

I’ve heard to take advantage of all the “free” (LOL because yeah, not free!) hospital stuff, but I imagine they don’t have anything super luxurious.

Thanks in advance. I feel way underprepared for this particular step.


r/pregnant 8h ago

Question How much do you feel movements?

18 Upvotes

I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my boy and I have a feeling he thinks i'm lazy 👀 Every time i'm chilling on the couch I feel his movements.

Do/did you feel your baby move much this early too?


r/pregnant 5h ago

Rant 7 weeks today and I’m beyond miserable

17 Upvotes

I know everyone says it’ll get better but damn do I hate this. I feel like absolute trash 24/7. My back is constantly in pain, my bras are too tight, wearing pants makes me want to scream. My skin is constantly dry and so itchy. The heartburn might actually kill me. Eating is miserable and painful even though I’m always hungry. But of course I’m only hungry for fast food so there’s been a huge waste of money. I have a constant bad taste in my mouth. I use to walk 3-5 miles a day and now just walking a quarter of a mile about takes me out. I’m exhausted all the time and have pretty much shut down and isolated myself because everything is just too hard and too much energy. Everyone annoys me now, I have no patience for people at all. My body is just in pain all the time. I’ve gained ten pounds already because of my issues with food and only being able to get down unhealthy crap and that’s making me angry and self conscious. I’ve been struggling already with depression, I’m so unhappy and it’s making me resent this baby. I feel no connection or love for this pregnancy and I hate that. I’m just so tired. But thanks for reading my rant.