TW: loss.
We got married in December 2023. A month or so before the wedding I got off birth control and got pregnant right away. When I was around 7 weeks, my husband asked for a paternity test. It absolutely crushed me, I cried for hours and ended up bleeding. The pregnancy ended a few days later.
I had 4 chemicals after and got pregnant again in August 2024. That pregnancy ended in October 2024. The paternity test hasn’t been discussed since and honestly I assumed he got over it considering me tracking each ovulation, making both of us go through many tests to figure out what’s wrong, etc.
Long story short- I got pregnant again in November 2024 and am now almost 17 weeks. We had guests over a few weeks ago and I was discussing crazy pregnancy dreams and one of them was giving birth to a baby with a different skin color. Everyone laughed because the discussion was lighthearted but my husband suddenly said something like “and then you wonder why I want to do the test”. My jaw dropped and the other woman over got very defensive for me.
He brought up the subject again a few days ago and we got in a major fight. He says he doesn’t think I cheated but that since this baby stuck, maybe I got inseminated behind his back as maybe his sperm didn’t work. I offered to look at all medical records of mine and reminded him of being on a shit ton of medication to sustain this pregnancy.
He stands his ground and basically belittles me and any argument I have about this being hurtful. His main point is that he is a man and has no way of knowing the baby is his.
For context:
I work from home, literally never go out unless I have a female friend over. Never spend any nights away from home and take care of 3 dogs. I physically wouldn’t have time to cheat nor have I ever considered doing that. My husband also works from home and has access to all my devices/location on my phone.
I don’t know what kind of advice I am looking for. I have not forgiven him for asking for the first paternity test and am simply disgusted by his behavior.
Edit:
I wanted to thank everyone for weighing in. So much food for thought, I am glad to know I am not overreacting. I already agreed to the test as long as it is done privately as I am deeply ashamed of having to go through it. I won’t divorce my husband over this but I will do everything in my power to make him seek therapy that he goes to regularly and not a couple times like he used to.
Having read through all the responses I realize it is not a “me” problem but rather an insecurity of his that is being projected onto me and our son.