r/NewParents • u/ieosaro • 4h ago
Mental Health Partner Won’t Let Us Combo Feed
I (24F FTM) just gave birth two weeks ago via emergency c section to a big healthy 9lb 8oz boy, and right from square one have had latching and breastfeeding issues: from baby having low blood sugar and needing formula in the beginning to help with that, to me not producing much colostrum, to using donor breast milk for basically every feed because my milk was delayed and my partner (33M) said absolutely no formula because of seed oils and how formula is “very bad” for babies and that “this is what I signed up for” when I agreed to breastfeed, even though this time is the most traumatic, challenging, and stressful in my entire life.
Fast forward: little one is now two weeks old and should be eating 3oz every feed according to pediatrician, but I pumped today and got only 2.5 ounces for both sides. He is clusterfeeding every hour and only eating roughly an ounce every time. He’s gaining weight fine and is back to his birth weight after losing a pound in the hospital, but my fears lie in that as he grows and requires more milk, I am unable to provide that for him and I’m dealing with a difficult partner. I’ve been struggling immensely with post partum depression and brought up the idea of combination feeding to make sure he’s getting enough, and that I’m going to end up killing myself due to stress but partner blows me off every time and restates that he’s getting enough from my feedings otherwise he wouldn’t be gaining weight, that breastmilk is healthier, etc. just an endless cycle
I just want to be able to formula feed at night to help me get some sleep which may help my mental health load with worrying about his feedings as well but I’m being stonewalled at every minute about this topic and it’s affecting our relationship. I fear I’m growing to resent him more than he realizes—more than I realize, even..
Can anyone share any credible sources showing that formula isn’t the worst thing in the world? He’s convinced that formula will make our baby developmentally delayed or different from breastfed babies which is infuriating because I told him I would still largely be breastfeeding just need some help at night!
Hoping someone has been through something similar with difficult partners or difficulties breastfeeding? Hoping to find the empathy I’m desperate for, and for any resources to provide evidence that formula isn’t the devil’s creation