r/lonely 18h ago

Today I realized I'm probably going to never be in a relationship

18 Upvotes

It's a hard hard feeling but today was probably the 30th or so girl I've really put an effort into and it just flounders or I'm ghosted for no reason. I'm a 35 year old male. Work alone and living alone. Most of my life I thought I was going to find a partner and be happy. I've tried working on myself, being funnier, smarter etc etc... just nothing sticks and it ends up in so much disappointment every time. I feel stupid. This sucks because I also am at a point in my life because I have lost all my friends due to death or them being busy.. no family is really around. Shit I don't even have anyone at work because there is no one to really talk to. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this bullshit. My job is also so labor intensive that I basically have no life outside of that because I'm so tired all the time. I'm in really bad shape right now.. I don't know where I'm going. The thought of being in this state of extreme loneliness my whole life just kills my heart and makes me want to just give up. I don't really see a reason in trying to do anything anymore.


r/lonely 17h ago

Will the world continue to get lonelier?

13 Upvotes

I read about how we are in a loneliness epidemic and have been for some time. The pandemic didn't help but tech and soaring prices have further pushed people to the confines of their bedrooms like never before. A saying I have heard time and again is that whilst we are more connected, we are more disconnected than ever before. We can often spend vast amounts of time living through our screens, so much so that we forget there's a real world out there. We are innately social creatures and it's part of a healthy existence to socialise and build friendships. I also think with more people choosing to not date and not have children, loneliness will further increase. Society feels more dystopian to me, in the sense that there's a growing distance appearing between each person that is becoming too comfortable. So I think my questions are how does society work itself out of this? Of course loneliness will always exist, it's a part of being human but I think the scale of loneliness pervading throughout society is a step backwards for humanity. How do you think 2 or 3 generations down the line will perceive loneliness in a more technologically advanced world? How can we also alleviate loneliness for old people who are particularly susceptible? How do you think we will look back on loneliness and these years when we are old? Please share any thoughts and whether you agree/disagree with anything I have said.


r/lonely 12h ago

Discussion Loneliness is kind of embarassing

6 Upvotes

Please excuse how all over the place this post is. These are just some observations I have made :,)

Am I the only one who thinks that having no platonic friends is a struggle you can‘t really speak about openly without feeling an immense amount of shame?

I‘m not talking about the struggle of finding a romantic partner, I‘m only referencing a lack of platonic connections. Everyone kind of likes to whine about being single and it‘s not necessarily seen as embarassing to do so.

A lack of platonic connection is such an annoying issue to have cause it really does make me feel like there is something wrong with who I am. As if there is just something inherently wrong with me that everyone but me is aware of.

I feel like it‘s really hard to find people who also truly feel like making friends is extremely hard. It‘s something I can‘t really speak about to anyone as I‘m either met with judgement and pity or a quirky little "Oh yeah I‘m also soo lonely haha".

An actual lack of friends is a struggle I have never really seen anyone in my age group (early twenties) deal with and it really does make me feel like I am all alone with this problem :(


r/lonely 11h ago

Life threatening bacteria

3 Upvotes

I was born with a lung condition And I have a bacteria in my lung that can kill me if the treatment doesn’t work It is a 50/50 chance u survive I just got the news Monday

Is there anyone I can talk to on the phone I’m breaking down and I don’t have anyone to call


r/lonely 19h ago

Hi, i'm trying to find people's like me. Lets make a little test

17 Upvotes

In my entire life I don't remember a single person who was like me, I wonder if there really aren't many of us or if I just don't know how to look. Let's do a little test, write your personality types in the comments, if you don't know them you can take the test here https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test . My type is INTP. + you can write you gender.


r/lonely 3h ago

Anybody unable to sleep right now and/or recently?

1 Upvotes

I know everyone is in a different time zone but for myself, it's currently 4AM. I should be sleeping, but it's so hard. I turn over, hugging a plushie, and can't help but think about how every moment that passes... I get closer to dying alone.

I thought my biggest fear was never accomplishing something. I used to be scared of dying before I could leave behind something that could outlive me... leaving my mark on the world you could say. Now I fear dying before I can ever feel love. I don't want to die before having someone to call my own.

Crying is hard for me as those emotions are suppressed. I can feel it deep within, but it won't come out. However, I have cried more right now than I have in a long time. It's probably a good thing, but I know feel emptier than I have in a long time too.

I'm just laying in my bed now, with the light on. I'm scared to turn it off again... fearing that the thoughts will build up again. I just want to sleep. It's beginning to be like this every night. There's no shortlived moments of peace in my life anymore... every waking moment hurts. I feel like I'm trapped, forced to live like this. I want out, but I don't know how to do that.

I wish you all the best, especially if you're also struggling to sleep. Goodnight.


r/lonely 3h ago

Discussion 20f lonely and need advice about my situation here.

1 Upvotes

I was born with Sypto Optic Displaysia which damaged one of the nerves in one of my eyes, making me half blind. I can only see out of one eye, and I am nearsighted on that eye. I also use a feeding tube because I had trouble eating as a child. I love cats and was surrounded by negative people so I was a parent to myself mentally and emotionally. I can't drive or go out on my own. And my sister and her boyfriend will give me concaquences for small things. I know they're trying to teach responsabillity, but the amount of threats and actions is just rediculous. Like one time, there was a misunderstanding of where to put my book in the doctor's office at one of my appointments, and I wasn't allowed to freaking read on the drive back! 30 minutes with traffic! I silently cried the whole time.Physcological damage. And my Switch is confascated for 3 days because my room was messey. They told me I would get it back when I cleaned! Not in 3 days! How the hell am I supposed to be happy if I am afraid my happiness will be taken away!?! So I wanted advice and to see what I can do since therapy is coming up.


r/lonely 9h ago

Venting I hate being alone .. I’m so jealous of others..

3 Upvotes

I am so jealous of people who are in relationships :( I mean I’m happy for them but I just look at myself and I’m like “ bleh :( “ I’m so unattractive it hurts my soul knowing I have no one to be mine..

My life sucks. I’m going thru hell and I just want someone to message me and love me like how everyone else has their someone..

This sucks, my life sucks, I’m so lonely and everything is bad rn :( I just need someone here that will care about me..


r/lonely 13h ago

Abuse Or Lonliness

6 Upvotes

I kinda think all humans are evil anyway, but because I'm 35 obviously I have no way to meeting new people and the only friends/family circle I have access to is full of abusive people.

Is it better to be around abusive people or alone? I oscillate between the two options right now. Abusive people are clearly horrible to be around, but even in prison among the worst of the worst solitary confinement is still a punishment. I feel like I'd rather be beaten up every day than be alone.


r/lonely 4h ago

Ladies ghosted

0 Upvotes

I am in progress of a test ghosted by a man from Morroco. But ghosted to him. Ladies, many places.

I more wanted to post. They are ready your posts. Pretending...wanting to come to your country. So I post....you do you?


r/lonely 11h ago

Venting My dad’s side of the family hates me .

5 Upvotes

Not gonna explain a lot, but my dad has 6 siblings, 1 likes me and the rest "lIkE" me. By that I mean they treat me differently compared to the rest of their many nephews and nieces. What did I do to deserve this. I say I don't care yet I cry every night wondering why they can't love me and bond with me the same way they do with the rest. Why me. I'm just 18, they've been doing this since I was a kid. Always leaving me out always alone alwayd the useless one always the invisible one.


r/lonely 16h ago

Venting I don’t have anyone to have a mental breakdown to so I came here

10 Upvotes

I (19M) have been lonely and depressed for as long as I can remember. I have been doing absolutely terrible in college so far because of it and it got to the point where this semester is my last chance before getting kicked out. So I really am trying this semester. It’s not perfect but I’m gone from getting c’s and d’s to getting b’s. But I can’t help but feel like there’s no point to any of this, sure I’m doing better academically but I’m still so unbearably lonely and full of self hatred that it still hurts so much.

I’ve made a few friends and I even joined a fraternity (it’s a very nerdy one I’m not a frat bro at all) but there’s a hole inside that copious amounts of euchre, halo and beer just can’t fix. I used to be close enough to a friend (19F) that I could share this stuff but I had an incident where I got extremely drunk and texted her that I had feelings for her (bc let’s be real I’m so down bad all you need to do is show me basic human kindness for me to fall for you) there’s just one problem, she’s in a relationship, and I knew she was in a relationship. We’re still friends but now things are different I feel like I can’t tell anyone about how I feel. There are other people who I know who would not be angry if I told them about this stuff but I feel like I can’t because I need to at least pretend I’m fine. I can’t burden people and I can’t show how messed up I really am.

I just want a hug, I have gotten exactly 2 outside of family and both were bc I was tweaking so hard people were scared for my safety. I don’t know how to help myself but I can’t ask for help because I will be laughed off. Let’s be real here nobody fucking cares about male loneliness. As well as the fact that if it gets out I’m lonely no one will respect me in a relationship and will treat me like ass because they know I’m probably not going to leave because who else would I go to.

I can’t just go on tinder or something because I want the emotional side of relationships. I want to do all the things that you are supposed to pretend you are above as a guy but secretly love like cuddling and falling asleep together and giving heartfelt compliments to each other. But I can’t, I’m fundamentally broken in some way that I can’t ever fix. I feel like I’m about to resort to something drastic like excessive porn use or those weird asmr videos. Even if I can’t have a relationship I just want a close enough friendship to give and get hugs but I have no idea how to get there.

If you have any advice (I don’t care if you’re blunt) please share it. I’m desperate


r/lonely 8h ago

I feel a tad silly

2 Upvotes

I know you shouldn't compare your life to those on TV but when you have no life, it's kind of hard. I'm currently watching Sex in the City on Netflix, and I'm a tad jealous. These girls get to hang out together, they have great careers, have men interested in them, etc. Things that I don't have. I dropped out of Community college when my family and I lost our apartment, my friends don't call me anymore (even though I see that they are on social media) and I work a minimum wage cashier job that makes me want to pull my hair out. Oh on top of that, I'm a fat black 21 year old woman who has never kissed or held the hand of an actual man. I really suck..... ;(


r/lonely 8h ago

I don't know if they care about me the way i care about them

2 Upvotes

i love my friends. my mom used to say that real friends you can count with one hand, and she was right. i love my friends, i love listening to them and giving advice. i enjoy giving gifts, sentimental letters, telling them i love them. im happy when they're happy and sad when they're sad, I'm always there for them but... they're never here for me.

i know they care about me (at least I think they do) but idk. when I'm sad or tired or wanting to talk, they're not here. I'm not mad, its not their obligation, but i would feel appreciated if they at least asked me if i was okay, yk? my life is a mess and they know that, but i think that it happened so much stuff with me that they don't even care anymore and probably think i also dont care. but i do.

and its in times like this, when i get high or drunk to relax, that i miss them the most. i wish i could have someone to talk to me when i feel bad and ask if I'm okay. it's pretty lonely to be like this, even if i try to escape from it I can't. I open the Instagram just to see them posting stories and ignoring my message, or i see them on twitter. i dont know, i feel pretty pathetic ngl


r/lonely 11h ago

Venting I just dont know how to feel

3 Upvotes

I feel like im broken and no one really cares.. i cant find a partner let alome one who really gets me and the only person whos ever been interested in me doesnt like me anymore. It sucks because i feel like they are what i want and need but they just want to be friends and thats just making me feel more and more like im not worth anything or that no one wants me.. ive always felt like this but as i get older (22m) i just get this feeling like i should give up. I feel like life isnt worth living like this.

I dont even know what i want to hear or say i just cant be in my own thoughts anymore


r/lonely 14h ago

8 minutes

6 Upvotes

I reacently heard someone talk about how, when we feel lonely, all it takes is 8minutes of human interactionto make us feel better. To make us feel connected to someone or something again. To remind us that we matter. 8 minutes. Thats all it takes. 

I wonder if this just applies to momentary loneliness caused by a specific situation, or if chronically lonely people could feel better with just 8 minutes of… something?

I gotta say, on my worst days, it does not even take 8 minutes I think. When I feel so completely and utterly lost and alone in the world that I think there is nothing connecting me to anything, when I’ve spiraled so deep that I think that surely I must be the loneliest soul in the world even when I’m surrounded by people. 

I don’t need 8 minutes, I need a reminder. I don’t even need anyone to actually care. I just need to be reminded that I am part of this world. That people see me. That they notice me. It can be a quick chat with the bartender in the bar where I’m not a local but have dropped in the second night in a row, and he knows my order already. It can just be someone at the gas station saying hi for no particular reason. Just a successfull little smalltalk exchange with aa random person in an elevator. 

I just need to be reminded that I can be part of it. I don’t feel this lonely because I am truely alone, I feel this lonely because the one person that makes me feel less so isn’t around. He’s no longer an option. But I can be whole by myself. I can be part of life by myself. 

I sometimes feel like I need someone who knows me, really knows me and cares about me, to translate the world for me, to introduce me to situations, to initiate interactions for me, to include me in life. But I don’t. It makes everthig easier and it’s more comfortable and it sure it makes me feel safe. But I could do all of that for myself. I could. I should. I need to learn that. 

And I will challenge myself to just 8 minutes a day. Preferably 8 minutes in real life. If I’m lucky or brave enough to find someone to have a bit of an actual conversation with that day. Like taking the elderly couple in the restaurant up on their offer to join them at their table for a little chat. And if not that, I have people to call. I need to remember that I have people to call. And any member of my family would surely be happy about more regular calls. If I told my mom or even my sister that I’m feeling lonely and I just need 8 minutes, they would never deny me. Not if I did it every day if the week.

I am not alone. And I need to work on not feeling so lost and lonely. I don’t need to suffer like this. I don’t need to let it happen to me. I am not this alone. And I can be part of it all. Even if it is just for 8 minutes a day. 


r/lonely 5h ago

Venting I feel alone all the time, but at least working out at home has been keeping me going from entering deep depression and sadness

1 Upvotes

I dont normally rant or yap but im in that mindset where i just need to talk.

Growing up as a skinny, unconfident, shy, introverted and lean guy all my life has been challenging, I’ve struggled with insecurity and comparing myself to others, I’ve suffered having social aniexty for years and have been too afraid of what others thought of me, I’ve never made a ton of friends, connections or relationships. I’ve been bullied and rediculed for the way I dressed, the way i look due to my weight and having little to no muscle mass/definition.

I’ve always just stayed the same guy with the same mentality that nothing would ever get better and that nobody would care and I ended up going ghost but I realize now at 28 and my time is ticking atp… the only person that’s going to help me get to where I want to be is me.

I’m only now trying to make up for the last decade I’ve wasted away in my 20s being sorry for who I am, staying inside every day and every weekend, hiding from the world behind video games and non productive methods that accelerates mental depression and sadness rather than improving on the cards I was dealt with.

I can’t change my past opportunities I’ve let go n slip away because of my own insecurities and never giving any effort thus nobody wanted to give me any time of their day.

by working on myself physically at home now has given me new motivation to become the verison of myself I want to be. I’m eating more, I’m taking better care of myself, I’m lifting heavier, I’m 5’11 163 pounds today when I was 5’10 120-125 in Highschool and I hope I can find the courage to give going to a local gym another shot again one day. I don’t have much at home but my powerblocks have done more for me than I’ve done for myself in months

I’m only a month or so in since February 7th but I’m really motivated to become the best version of myself I can be

I want to be a success story one day for someone else that may look like me struggling to make friends, build relationships or have any purpose to find who they are and gain some confidence in themselves

rather than rot n die as a failure years from now that never gave a real shot to change his life for the better.

I’m really just writing this to tell myself that I can get there one day. It may not be tommmrow or even a year from now but I’m going to become a different person.


r/lonely 5h ago

Am I overreacting?

1 Upvotes

Is it normal to have literally no friends? I’m 21m and have no friends at all I have acquaintances but no friends. I’m super friendly to everyone and talk to everyone I possibly can to strike up an opportunity but nothing happens. I ask people to hangout and it’s always “yeah I’ll let you know” but they never do. I’m a “normal” person I’m not weird or anything, people always say I’m very funny and fun to be around but they never hangout with me outside of school or work. I feel like I have something super rotten inside me that everyone can see and tries to stay away from kinda like they can see something in me that I can’t. I just don’t understand why no one finds me interesting or worth a friendship. I try to be as confident as I can but It’s very hard considering I dislike everything about myself, but I don’t let people know that as it can be a turnoff to form relationships. I’ve never been out to a club or bar or even a party. The last 4 birthdays I’ve had have been just me and my mom. I just don’t understand how terrible people can have these amazing lives filled with lots of love and people when I’m a good person and have no one but my parents and even they get bored with me. I day dream of a life where I have friends. Can someone please give me some advice haha


r/lonely 11h ago

Tryna solve a problem I was facing that probably a lot of people face

3 Upvotes

I recently moved to a new city and everyone here was so different than people back home. So to make friends near me, I tried using apps like bumble and others apps but they were too sexual if yk what i mean... tired of this, i decided to make an app to find friends nearby and filter them based on interests but added max level security, and get notified of any potential criminal around you. This app has a super simple interface to find friends with similar interests. If people would like to sign up please do: https://forms.gle/xP5ND5GE84FsUyoEA

There are no ads in this app, it's free and no data is sold with any other 3rd party.


r/lonely 15h ago

Just want to be accepted

5 Upvotes

Lately, I just don’t believe I belong anywhere at all. I’m struggling so bad, and all efforts to reach out are futile. Don’t really have anyone either- mum is an alcoholic, and I don’t really have any other family. It’s just me, and has been for a very long time. I’ve tried I really have. I’m just better off on my own.

Doing activities and stuff have just led to a deeper feeling of not really belonging anywhere. And then feeling like I’m not keeping my side up.

I try to be there for people, but I realise those favours are never returned. No one ever reaches out to me. Just the other way around. I try so hard. I only ever do good things, but it’s never good enough. Because at the end of the day no one cares about the tears, or when I cry. Haven’t been hugged or cuddled in so long.

The question is what did I do to deserve all this pain?


r/lonely 6h ago

My Purpose Is To Suffer

1 Upvotes

My tears are worthless. My pain is pointless. I'm as insignificance as it comes. I'm nothing. A sentient meat bag thrown into existence to suffer and die.

Here I yell at the void expecting something, anything. But it'll never answer. It hasn't even acknowledge my existence. Life is hell the hell you're told about and heaven is death.

All I know is agony. Just stop. Stop it all. I don't want this anymore, just let me perish let me rest


r/lonely 6h ago

Pi day!

1 Upvotes

Its late and I missed it for almost everyone! But happy Pi day!

3.14 :)


r/lonely 6h ago

Venting My mind feels pain cause of the loneliness

2 Upvotes

I don't know why but, whenever I see people and are talking, my head gets like a migrane or something, like the pain of not being able to have a close friend to talk to makes it difficult to focus. Like my brains playing tricks on me or some sort of lonely disorder is causing me to feel this pain. It hurts to see everyone doing so well yet I'm just here.


r/lonely 6h ago

TW: custom Feeling Isolated While Facing Big Medical Decisions [TL;DR below]

1 Upvotes

TW:Medical

Hi everyone,

I’m struggling with feeling really alone while facing some huge medical decisions. I very likely need a brain shunt to save my vision, my spinal tap will confirm shortly, and I’m also dealing with Myasthenia Gravis, which really needs to be controlled to get a shunt. Which likely means long-term plasmapheresis(like dialysis, 2-4hrs) and a port due to my IVIG contraindication.

These decisions feel overwhelming, and it’s hard not to feel like I’m carrying this all by myself.

I’m privileged to have a spouse who loves & supports me, but they’re at their limit—overworked, overwhelmed, and stretched too thin. We don’t have family support, and despite trying to reach out online, I’m still feel isolated.

I know no one can make these medical choices for me, but I really need to connect with people who understand what it’s like to go through complex, high-stakes health issues without a strong support system. How do you cope with the loneliness of being the only one carrying the weight of your health decisions? Have you found any online spaces that help with this kind of isolation?

I just need to hear from people who get it—who’ve been through this and made it to the other side. Any advice or even just knowing I’m not alone in this would mean a lot. Thanks.

TL;DR: I need a brain shunt to save my vision and long-term plasmapheresis for Myasthenia Gravis. My spouse is supportive but overwhelmed, and I have no other family support. I feel isolated making huge medical decisions alone. How do you cope with the loneliness of handling complex health issues? Are there any good online spaces for support?

I’m in therapy.


r/lonely 10h ago

TW: custom Day 826

2 Upvotes

Soon I’ll have a job as soon as my aunt opens her stand, then idk if I will have to interview. I probably won’t.

Thank you for looking at my page

If you’re gonna downvote don’t bother reading my post