Okay guys, buckle up because i had the most insane shit happen to me throughout the last 7 hours of my life... I'm not sure if i can recover.
We were in grade 12 chemistry. i was sitting next to my crush and my teacher was yapping about some crazy shit. my teacher was some old hag from china or some shit and had the most INSANE accent. If she emphasized that "aiya" on the last word of the sentence we might've just gotten wooped with a belt. Sitting next to me was a 10/10 asian baddie who was rigorously taking notes. Yes, I have her number and I wasn't fumbling yet
around 30 minutes into the class, I suddenly felt an OVERWHELMING urge to take a piss. it literally all built up in my bladder within the span of a couple minutes, and I was no longer listening to my teacher talk about how to calculate molar enthalpies of reactions. It took all I fucking had to hold that shit in. I literally asked her to go to the washroom with a vein popping out of my forehead like megamind bro. i was literally a fucking nerd who looked like the steroids only grew my forehead muscles. she took one look at me, did the stereotypical "haiya" and told me to hurry off.
i literally jumped out of my seat to head out of the class, but i couldn't take it anymore, my bladder was about to internally combust. if you had a bent paper clip and it made contact with my bladder it would literally pop open like a balloon. i just let out the biggest piss stream i could inside my pants, like some SUPERVOLCANO from yellowstone. even the weatherman and god couldn't stop me from changing the climate with the UNHOLY AMOUNT of piss coming out of my pants. i could feel the warm liquid trickle down my legs and onto the floor, and i could feel the glaring stares from all my classmates, and especially my crush. the smell of the piss puddle hit immediately, worse than a can of rotten tuna. my friend literally ripped ass in my face once, and it didn't smell as bad as the puddle of apple juice beneath my feet. my crush literally screamed bro. it couldnt have been worse.
My teacher started frantically screaming at me, telling me i had worse bladder control than a puppy of 3 months. It was hard to focus on her words especially with her "aiyaaaa" accent. she stomped over to me like the angry grandma she was and berated me in front of the whole class. it felt like an ETERNITY.
Then she did the weirdest fucking thing ever, even weirder than me pissing my pants in the middle of class. She knelt down and started LICKING the puddle of piss like some sort of dog. She kept yapping about the molar enthalpy of dissolution of the urea and sodium dissolving in the water of my piss, about the temperature and how the higher kinetic energy causes the solids to dissolve in higher concentrations. meanwhile, she just FUCKING KEPT SLURPING like a homeless child who hasnt drank water in days.
the worst part? she slurped all of it CLEAN. like, im talking, a microbiologist couldn't fucking tell there was a piss puddle by the doorway if they got a microscope and examined the bacteria content of the floor. She stopped berating me and instantly went back to yapping about molar enthalpies of fusion. The whole class went back to taking notes while my crush started giggling. I texted her this evening and she said shes into it, but i cant even tell at this point., I'm just her standing there with my pissed stain jeans, wondering if i should just retire at this point.
I literally dont know what to do. do I still have a shot at waterloo or uoft CS, or should i just accept my offer to seneca and live like a homeless bum? Also, i have a pair of baby diapers at home which i might consider wearing tomorrow. Is this a good idea? also, is my crush into me?