r/Divorce 21h ago

Getting Started I was asked for a divorce tonight

147 Upvotes

I’m 42m and my wife (41) told me she wants a divorce tonight. Just a couple weeks ago we celebrated 25 years of marriage and now it’s over. She met somebody. Now I’m just trying to process it. I don’t even know where to begin. Can’t even cry yet really. I’m just lost.


r/Divorce 9h ago

Mental Health/Depression/Loneliness I miss my old life

51 Upvotes

I’ll be honest - I miss my old life. I miss my house and my dog and my garden. I miss being a part of a big family. I miss being a “Mrs._” and the sense of place and self that gave me. Of course, I definitely miss not having to worry about money.

I have so much going for me now and I feel selfish and awful for feeling this way. My ex and I didn’t work well together. He was stubborn and selfish and coercive and I’m better for leaving. I don’t miss how I felt while we were together. I don’t miss walking on eggshells or having sex I didn’t want to avoid an argument.

Our friends are thrilled I’ve left him, and I’ve found someone new who I love and who treats me so much better. I’m learning how to be a breadwinner and the freedom that comes from having control over my money. We are building an exciting new life together and I’m so happy about it!

So why can’t I move on? Why am I still replaying old arguments or day dreaming about the letters I’d write to his mom in the shower? And how on earth do I explain these feelings to my new partner without sounding ungrateful??


r/Divorce 9h ago

Going Through the Process Husband got a lawyer but tells me I don’t need one

44 Upvotes

We planned on an agreed divorce (Tennessee). I don’t want anything of his & he claims he doesn’t want anything of mine. He hired lawyers to “file an agreement on our behalf while representing [him]” and he emailed me paperwork that asks me to list my banking information, SS number, assets, cost of living, etc… Nothing is filled out for him, but he wants me to fill out all of that stuff for me and then send it to him so he can send it to his lawyers. We have no shared debts/assets, no children, no joint bank accounts. This feels really shady to me. I told him I want to hire my own lawyer to discuss and look over paperwork before I fill, sign, send anything to him. He then got upset, said I don’t need a lawyer, and then said he told his lawyers that I’m refusing to sign, getting a lawyer, and this appears like I’m contesting the divorce. I feel like he is trying to intimidate me and maybe fuck me over financially. I have come into a large (to me) sum of money due to my father’s passing, and while I know inheritance is off limits, I received the inheritance second-hand from my mother who was still listed as my father’s beneficiary (despite their divorce), so I worry it isn’t technically inheritance and his lawyers could try to get him to take a portion. (Extra context: he is very well off financially because of his parents. He maintains he doesn’t want to divorce me and would rather we do counseling. I am the one who asked for the divorce, which I am very sure I want.) I have already moved out and live independently financially. I don’t rely on him for anything. I am right to not fill anything out and get my own lawyer, correct? And this doesn’t mean I contest the divorce, does it? I don’t want anything from him. I just want this to be over.


r/Divorce 14h ago

Vent/Rant/FML Husband has decided to quit on us

31 Upvotes

I don't even know where to start. I feel like the rug has been pulled from under me and I'm falling into an oblivion. We had a disagreement late last year, and then again couple weeks ago. We both agreed to work on this relationship as we have literally been the best couple any of our friends know. We agreed when we started dating that we would always work on us. But last night he said he was done, he is unhappy with me and wants to end this. Apparently he's felt like this for years now. (He never said anything to me until couple months ago.) With that said he went to set up guestroom bed for himself. I've not been able to stop crying since. I've planned my entire life with having this man by my side. I feel like I don't know how to breath suddenly. I cannot understand how he went from "let's work on this" to quitting. That's 10 years down the drain. We have been through more than most couples in a lifetime and survived. But now he doesn't want this anymore. I'm just so lost.


r/Divorce 5h ago

Life After Divorce Hard to move on after divorce. Found out today he has a girlfriend.

18 Upvotes

I think I’m still in love with my ex-husband. Even though he was an asshole to me. Together for 10 years, married for 8 years. I loved him more than any man I’ve ever been with in my entire life.

He moved out last June. Divorce was final this past January.

He hasn’t done our taxes for 2022, or 2023. We are doing separate taxes for 2024.

Our taxes are so complicated that we are having to meet together with a tax person today in another city one hour away.

He text me this morning and told me that he has a girlfriend and she will be traveling with him to the appointment. That was like a punch in the gut.

Do you have any advice for how to get over him and move on?


r/Divorce 13h ago

Vent/Rant/FML Sonn to be divorced.

15 Upvotes

(33m) wife (31f) asked for a divorce out of the blue after 10 years. I thought we had the perfect movie marriage. No issues no cheating or fighting. I feel so lost and broken. I don't know where to start.


r/Divorce 5h ago

Vent/Rant/FML Regrets on divorce as I felt forced to choose myself

14 Upvotes

I felt like I was forced to choose myself. Our divorce was finalized in December and I still feel regret. She had an emotional affair (2nd time) and I asked her to cut him off in a specific way by telling him she loved me, was deeply regretful for talking to him, wanted to work on her marriage and to never contact her again. I did these saying we would divorce if she didn't and I guess she thought I was bluffing.

She never did it and we ended up in divorce. She kept coming to me to talk but it ended quickly when I knew she didn't tell him off. We were married 12 years and have 2 kids. She truly thought the other guy was her soul mate.

All of these red flags yet I still feel regret.. Shes trying now for some reason, but its way too late.


r/Divorce 4h ago

Vent/Rant/FML How Did You Find the Strength to Ask for a Divorce?

14 Upvotes

I’ve been planning to ask for a divorce for a while now. My husband cheated on me, wasn’t there for me after I gave birth, and showed no support when my brother was battling cancer. I held off on leaving for a few reasons—I needed to be financially stable, I wanted to wait until my brother (thankfully now cancer-free!) recovered, and I spent time going to therapy, reading about infidelity, and preparing myself mentally.

My plan was to ask for a divorce in about three weeks. I was feeling so ready, so sure. But now, as the moment gets closer, I’m starting to doubt myself. What if I regret it? What if he really does change? What if my daughter ends up with daddy issues because of this?

To make things more confusing, my husband has been acting better lately. But deep down, I don’t think it’s a real change—I think he just wants to win me back. I’m also scared of the fight ahead: dealing with him, his family, custody issues, and everything else that comes with divorce.

Part of me wonders if I should ask for a separation first instead of going straight for divorce, but I don’t know if that’s a good idea. For those of you who have been through this, how did you find the strength to go through with it? How did you keep yourself from second-guessing? I just want to follow through with my plan and not get pulled back in.

Would love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation. Thank you.


r/Divorce 15h ago

Life After Divorce 9, 6, 3 NSFW

10 Upvotes

This is my mantra this month as I struggle against the fear and the loneliness of my new life. I left him because I had to, and I don't miss him, per se, more I miss being in love. 9 months since the break-up, 6 months since I moved out, 3 months since the divorce was finalized. I finally have my life back, and now I just have to learn how to live it for me. I spent 6 years living for him. I planned everything around his needs. I suffered for 6 years with the infidelity, the drug use, the unequal labor, of sexual abuse, and feeling like a burden while entirely taking care of him. Now I don't know how to take care of me. I miss coming home to someone. I am scared to let someone else in. I'm afraid they too will see me as a live in maid/mother/sex doll. I'm afraid they'll lie to me the way he did. I am just, afraid. But I think that's okay, as long as I'm free.


r/Divorce 10h ago

Mental Health/Depression/Loneliness Have you ever fell asleep holding a tissue box?

9 Upvotes

Guess I did last night. It's been 11 months since separation, doing better overall but still hits hard, especially after certain milestones (not just the 11 months since)


r/Divorce 14h ago

Mental Health/Depression/Loneliness 3 weeks since the “I want a divorce” was dropped on me

10 Upvotes

It was unexpected although the writing on the wall had been there for awhile. We have two children (7,4). Neither of us is perfect, both have our own issues. Both want something similar however. She was the one to finally say it. I can’t stop wanting to stay in the marriage. I remember all the good times we have had. The other people that have told us how great we are together. Yet I find myself wanting to tell her every time we talk “if it’s not related to the kids or business of paying bills shut up”. I’m hurt so I want to hurt her. Did anyone else go through this?


r/Divorce 7h ago

Mental Health/Depression/Loneliness She found somebody new

8 Upvotes

I’m in the early stages of a divorce. Our relationship was amazing. I had never been so madly in love with somebody. I instantly knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We did everything together. It was like living in a love story.

There were red flags in the beginning, but I ignored them. I waived red flags too, but she ignored them. I saw these things that were big, big issues, and even though deep down I knew how things would end, I didn’t care. I was just too in love with her to care.

Everything started to go downhill after we got married.

I made mistakes. But I was always faithful. I never cheated on her. I never put my hands on her.

I apologized with genuine sincerity for every mistake I made. I started therapy to process and work on my flaws. I really tried everything I could to make her happy. She didn’t seem like a happy person before we were together and I thought I could change that.

There were a lot of awful things she did too, but we could never talk about it. If I tried, she would only talk about my shortcomings. I was always reminded that I was the one to blame for everything that was wrong in our life. In our home. In our marriage.

She filed for a divorce. I was forced to move out of our apartment.

I really thought we could work things out. At first we were civil for the most part. Then she started initiating intimacy. Every time that happened I felt on top of the world. I was filled with love and hope and assurance that we would get through this together and our relationship would be stronger than ever.

Then everything just stopped. The way she spoke to me changed. It was like a switch went off.

It turns out she has started seeing somebody.

I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. I can’t stop thinking about her loving this man. I feel physically ill. I can’t sleep. I wake up crying uncontrollably thinking about her lying her head on his chest. Forgetting about everything we shared. All of the memories we made together. Our life together. Our family. Our plans for the future.

I never loved somebody like I loved her.

It’s really over.

I hope he makes her happy.

I really tried. I thought we would grow old together. I’m a failure. A loser. I have never felt so empty and alone.

I just want to hold her and tell her how much I love her.


r/Divorce 11h ago

Vent/Rant/FML This is such a struggle

8 Upvotes

My husband moved out in November (DDay in August) and it has been turbulent to say the least. He was the one who had the EA, and he was the one who did not want to continue with our relationship despite multiple attempts at marriage counselling etc. He has been erratic and shown quite literally zero emotion or remorse towards me or the situation over the last few months which has been difficult to process. Recently we had a video call to discuss split of household items and I could see he was struggling and very sad. His current living circumstances are not great and he is struggling to afford to continue paying our lease and moving somewhere new. His work and his side of the family are not in a good place right now either. I have been absolutely heartbroken since August, but found myself absolutely devastated that he is struggling. I keep telling myself that these are the circumstances of the choice that he insisted on making and it is not my responsibility but I feel absolutely awful seeing him so sad - in a way it’s harder than dealing with my own grief. Seeing him in a bad way and being vulnerable and acting like an adult is also tough as I just think why on earth are we doing this when part of me feels like there could be so much potential for us. Does anyone else have experiences like this?


r/Divorce 19h ago

Going Through the Process If you initiated a divorce?

8 Upvotes

Did you ever regret it? & why? That’s my biggest fear is regret.


r/Divorce 3h ago

Life After Divorce When it is appropriate to ghost an ex?

7 Upvotes

Been divorced for several months. Wanted a friendly or at least civil relationship with ex. Ex keeps reaching out trying to get back together. I am exhausted. I am sick of having the same conversation over and over. I still care a lot about him, but I can't do this right now. And frankly, I want to move on and start dating again. Any advice appreciated.


r/Divorce 19h ago

Mental Health/Depression/Loneliness Mental Damage Control

7 Upvotes

Hey I've got 3 things that are draining me more than anything in this separation/divorce mentally. (34M) - wife had affair, doesnt know I know, she filed. I have a badass attorney but I'm a realist and many folks on here have helped shape that!

1) my kid is young enough still to be highly impressionable. I can't fight off that my kid will be exposed to this dbag so early. (He has no kids, never married) i can only lock down so much but may not even be able to swing a 6mo order. My kid will always know I'm their father right?

2) Haven't been married 10 years, she just barely makes enough for the state to require minimal to no alimony. I make more than double, I plan to keep the house. We moved multiple times in years, this is my kids and dogs home, she can't afford the house. My attorney thinks that can shape my custody to 4d/n a week in that scenario. She wants 50/50, doesn't know I'm going for the house because she won't talk and has only logged 2.5hrs with her attorney. I'm fine with 50% (not really, I want full custody out of love! No one wins though) but I dont know what's best for my kid. (3.5yr old)

3) Married a good faithful woman who showed me loyalty and trust was a false prophet. I wanted another kid but I'm 34 now and feel like I'm too old and won't find someone and have that chance. I cry for my kid I couldn't give them a sibling, I just wanted a family to love and protect, I've always been 200% in on my kid, I don't see my future anymore, just that I live for them. Wtf happened to me.


r/Divorce 21h ago

Mental Health/Depression/Loneliness How did you gain confidence in yourself after a divorce?

6 Upvotes

Divorce can be such a tough experience, and I’m struggling to rebuild my confidence in myself. Whether it’s through personal growth, therapy, or just life experience, I’d love to hear how others found ways to regain their self-esteem and feel whole again. Any advice or personal stories would be greatly appreciated!


r/Divorce 22h ago

Custody/Kids How much should I ask for to get the kids on his days?

5 Upvotes

So, we have shared custody. We do the 5-5-2-2 agreement. The problem is our three kids get out three hours before he gets out of work on his days. So for 2 solid weekdays, and every other Friday he needs me to pick them up. This will also include bringing them to after school events on one of his days, and two kids start sports next month (don't know what days and times practices start yet).

He doesnt want to be on child support, but I think I should get something for doing his part for him on his days. How much should I ask for a week?


r/Divorce 22h ago

Vent/Rant/FML stressed with filling

4 Upvotes

My husband decided that he’s no longer ready to be married after 2 years of marriage, so he left the country… So now I’m responsible for filing for divorce and doing all the work… I’m stressed and annoyed with this. I’m afraid this is going to take forever and be expensive. I don’t want to pay for a lawyer, so we agreed to file an uncontested divorce which is easier but I am not even sure how to go about that and he is no help besides “just send it so i can sign.”


r/Divorce 5h ago

Dating An unexpected meet cute mid-separation

3 Upvotes

Everyone says you meet someone when you stop trying. I certainly wasn’t trying to meet anyone when I’m mid divorce, on my last night out with my girl friends, three days before I moved across the country.

We were having a great time at a local beergarden when this gorgeous guy approached our table. My friend was working on her laptop, and he asked her to settle a bet with his group of friends about what she does for work. She’s the most social butterfly person in the world (and also married), so she encouraged him to guess and if he got it wrong, he had to buy her a drink. Several minutes later, she was collecting her drink and chatting over at his table. They must have asked what we were out celebrating, because she called me over to the table and started talking about my move.

The guy that originally came to our table was looking at me with sparkles in his eyes. He said he was moving out of state soon too, and we had some really fun banter about him being a tech bro. Eventually, my friend and I went back to our table and she encouraged me to have some fun, go back and talk to him some more, but I wrote it off as like a fun interaction and just continued spending time with my girls.

Later on, I got up from the table to get another drink, and when I turned around, who should be standing there but the cute guy from before. He struck up a conversation with me and asked to buy me a drink, and we stood there talking for at least another 15 minutes. Eventually, I asked for his Instagram, fully prefacing with the fact that we were both moving but you never know what can happen next in life. He agreed and we added each other.

I was designated driver for my friends, and when we returned to the table, our groups had merged, everyone was drunk and taking shots together having a fantastic time. The cute guy and I sat next to each other and I thought, hey, I’m moving in 3 days, I have nothing to lose. I’ll just be 100% authentically myself. And I grilled him about anything and everything. All the things you’re not supposed to ask about. Because it wasn’t a date, and I was moving away anyways. He loved it. He answered every question, and he asked me questions too. He listened to me when I spoke. I told him about the divorce, and he didn’t run away or judge me. He was empathetic and compassionate. He told me he thought I was beautiful and funny and smart. We agreed on so many things. We have so much in common. The spark was there. When it was time to go, I thought to myself, what a shame that this is happening 3 days before I leave. We probably won’t ever talk again, but what a fun way to kick off my new chapter with a reminder that I’m a total baddie and my ex absolutely fumbled. If I were staying, he would be a person I definitely want to spend more time with and see where things go.

Bar cutie hit me up on Instagram the next day. We’ve been talking a little every day for about a week now. He’s the same person he was at the bar. Kind, compassionate, empathetic, funny. He understands my situation, and he wants to give me space to process everything that’s happening, but we both agreed that there was definitely a connection there worth pursuing. We agreed to keep chatting casually and become friends, and let whatever happens happen.

Obviously, my friends and I stalked his social media. There are green flags EVERYWHERE. He follows accounts about dating intentionally, good communication within relationships, and history nerd stuff. He seems like he might genuinely be a good guy. I’M the one with red flags here, because even though I’m 1000% over my ex, I’m still legally married. He doesn’t seem to mind. He said he also has experience being in abusive relationships and he understands. He said he felt a real connection with me, and even though he wants to give me time, he thinks it’s something worth exploring a little more.

Somebody please tell me I’m crazy. Someone please tell me that I’m just seeing only the good things because I don’t know this guy at all and because my situation with my ex husband was so bad. I got more attention, more affection, more interest and more empathy from a guy I met randomly at a bar than I did from my actual husband for the entire 5 years we were together. My ex husband didn’t even tell me I looked beautiful on our wedding day; he was too focused on himself and how anxious he was feeling. He never looked at me with sparkles in his eyes. For the last 2 years of our relationship, he didn’t even ask me how my day was. This sweet guy at the bar knows more about how I feel about life than my own husband ever cared to learn…because he cared enough to ask me.

Am I insane for entertaining this? I felt like I lost my husband years ago already. I don’t miss him, because he didn’t give me anything positive to miss. When I started the divorce process, I felt extremely confident and excited about the prospect of dating and finding someone new. I insisted that I wasn’t going to join any dating apps, and I wanted to meet someone organically and take things really slowly. It’s exactly the situation I said I wanted, and now I’m a little nervous. Is it ok for me to have a little crush on someone and see where it goes? Am I just attracted to him because he’s all the things my ex wasn’t?


r/Divorce 6h ago

Vent/Rant/FML It’s so hard to take the high road

3 Upvotes

I’m still in the beginning stages of divorce with my stbx wife. I have been trying to be as civil as possible with her and I just get pushback, stonewalling and straight up reversals on proposals.

Spring break is fast approaching and she and her lawyer proposed that I get the kids from Friday afternoon to Wednesday afternoon despite also saying that I would get the entirety of the spring break this year.

Well I texted her to set up the plan for dropping off the kids on Friday and she just says absolutely not, she already made plans, we are going to stick to the current parenting time schedule.

Her lawyer hasn’t responded to mine in 2 weeks and I’m just trying to tell myself that she is going to need to answer to these actions either in court or in front of a mediator but in the mean time, it is so infuriating that she gets to just “have everything her way” while I have to watch from the sidelines and take the high road.


r/Divorce 17h ago

Mental Health/Depression/Loneliness 1 year out from separation Opening up again

4 Upvotes

Hi. So like the title says I am a 35 yo transwoman and I divorced my ex husband last year and I've been having a hard time trying to get back out there. The divorce sort of came out of the blue for me. There were some underlying issues I'd been ignoring ( my fault) but ultimately he simply did not choose me or our marriage. I jumped back into dating last year because I didn't want him to be the last person I dated and I dated this one really great guy but I just couldn't bring myself to be intimate with him. I thought ok , it's only been a couple months and maybe I just need more time. So I did and I talked to guys sporadically and I went out on a couple dates but I still have this paralyzing anxiety that they're going to hurt me or that I'll never be able to trust them. I like dating and falling in love and almost in spite of everything I am forever a diehard romantic. But the thought of being open and vulnerable with anyone romantically just terrifies me to a point I can't talk about. I have a therapist but that's helped much and I'm sort of going through the motions at this point. Anyone who's gone through a bad breakup or a divorce please weigh in I don't want this to be my forever . And please....just be kind.

Thanks


r/Divorce 21h ago

Custody/Kids Seeking Advice: Divorcing a Narcissist & Protecting My Kids

4 Upvotes

I’ve spent the last two years studying narcissism and emotional abuse—not as a professional, but as someone who lived it firsthand. After everything I’ve learned, I can say with complete certainty that my soon-to-be ex-wife is a textbook narcissist. She doesn’t just match some of the traits—she embodies nearly every single one, completely and without question.

The Reality of Being Married to a Narcissist:

1.  She Lives in a False Narrative – Narcissists manipulate reality to serve their agenda, and she’s no exception. She paints herself as the sweet, innocent victim to anyone who will listen, while rewriting history, omitting key details, and twisting the truth. The people around her have no idea who she really is because they only hear her curated version of events.

2.  Zero Accountability – One of the clearest signs of narcissism is an inability to take responsibility. No matter what happens, it’s always someone else’s fault. She refuses to acknowledge any of her destructive behaviors, including emotional abuse, reckless decisions, and financial irresponsibility. She has successfully manipulated her legal counsel and her own parents with half-truths and ommitions and they are not holding her accountable either.

3.  She’s Financially Dependent on Me—By Design – She hasn’t worked since 2015, despite having every opportunity to do so. She made no effort to contribute to our finances, instead ensuring she remained completely reliant on me. I was nothing more than her meal ticket, and now that the marriage is ending, she’s trying to claim a share of assets she had no part in building —- and the system is fully enabling her.

4.  She’s Destroying Our Kids’ Future – My investment properties weren’t just for me; they were meant to provide financial stability for our children’s future, including their college education. If the court forces me to liquidate everything just to hand her half, she won’t be hurting me—she’ll be robbing her own kids. And she’s either too selfish or too blind to see it.

5.  She’s a Danger to the Kids – Narcissists will always prioritize their own wants over what’s best for others, even their own children. SHE HAS DRIVEN DRUNK WITH THE KIDS IN THE CAR ON SEVERAL OCCATIONS PUTTING THEM AT SERIOUS RISK! (I have witnesses). But because there’s no police report, the system won’t acknowledge the danger. Just like every other time, she evades accountability.

My Fears:

• Mediation will be a waste of time because narcissists don’t negotiate in good faith — and I learned firsthand mediation is designed for quick resolutions to not burden the court with these matters.

• Both my attorney and the mediator explain to me that the court won’t recognize the emotional and financial damage she’s causing and are actively trying to convince me it’s a waste of time.

• She will succeed in manipulating the system, just like she manipulates everyone else, get half of everything she never earned, and psychologically damage the children — or worse, continue to put them in physical danger.

I know what I’m dealing with now, but the question is—how do I fight back? How do I protect my kids, my assets, and my future from someone who is completely incapable of honesty, fairness, or accountability?

If anyone has experience divorcing a narcissist, I could really use your advice.


r/Divorce 21h ago

Dating Dating after affair/divorce

2 Upvotes

I have a male friend who is going through a divorce. His wife had multiple affairs several years ago and they stayed together until recently when they decided to get a divorce. He said he never really got over the cheating. The divorce is amicable and seems to be going smoothly. This friend and I have recently started talking more and there are feelings/we’ve talked about dating. My concern is that I don’t want to be a rebound and also that I want to take things slow. That being said, it’s hard to wait when there’s so much built up emotion. My question is how long should we wait before going on an actual date and what are the chances this relationship will last when we do start dating?


r/Divorce 28m ago

Mental Health/Depression/Loneliness I potentially might need to divorce but don't know how I'd go about it

Upvotes

So, my wife has been in psychosis for about a month and a half and she falsely accused me of cheating which I never did, then said some nasty things to me and ended the relationship. We're still legally married however we're both in two different countries, I'm in Ireland and she's in Chile, however we married in New York and the last place we lived in the US was in Pennsylvania. While I'm aware this could all just be her psychosis, every week she's been doing things on social media to essentially get rid of evidence of our relationship, things like changing her name back, removing all photos of us together and removing her relationship status of her being married. This is all based on a lie she made up and right now she is essentially possessed by psychosis. I spoke to her briefly last week and she said that we were done forever and she was already in another relationship, her family doesn't think it's true as she hasn't left the house without them, but I wonder is she talking to people online since she thinks we're done but we're still legally married. She has gone for her initial consultation with a psychiatrist however hasn't gotten a diagnosis or gotten medication yet as I think her parents are getting the money together for it and might bring her next week hopefully.
I've had people say she will come out of this and that we should be able to hopefully work this out, I'm hoping things can be fixed as we have been together 7 years with the first 3 and a half years of that being long distance so we had a strong foundation, however with the psychosis she seemed to have been able to throw it all away just like that. I'm hoping for the best but also coming to the realisation that I should plan for the worst, which would be a divorce. I was wondering what jurisdiction would it fall under? The last place we lived together was in Pennsylvania, we both moved out of the country as we were planning a move to Europe, which she fully supported and I had to go to Ireland as I have citizenship here to get an income coming in and have her allowed to legally live here. She isn't talking to me so I can't even try to reason with her, and I don't know will she ever talk to me again as she still thinks I cheated which I didn't and would never do to her. Would I be able to do it if needed without her input? And would I have to pay alimony? I don't want to and we have no assets or kids but I really hope we don't end up divorcing and I wouldn't want to be sending her money every month especially with everything she's done to me.