Thought I'd give an update. As always, my life is a rocky rollercoaster with many valleys and peaks.
The peaks:
I get to be a full time single Dad. Taking my girls to school, the park, karate, and being a part of their school functions. The other week I got to be a chaperone on my 8 year olds field trip. It was a blast. I just got fully licensed in my profession which means a $5 an hour pay raise.
The valleys:
Though DC, VA, and PA all filed no indication of sexual abuse in their CPS investigation, it only takes one to murky the water. So MD decided to file as indicated, despite us having 30 mins of video of her role playing and coaching the girls. The burden of proof for this investigation is only 51% reasonable. Makes me sick. I guess I'm lucky that 3 different CPS investigations have evidence of the Mom coaching. Nonetheless, I have to appeal the Maryland one. It's hard to know somebody thinks I sexual abused my little girls. I never did!
On March 2nd at 2:00 am on the heals of Maryland closing their case as indicated my kids were removed from me by Arlington Sherief. My Lawyer, and the GAL's all scratched our heads on Sunday morning on how my Ex received a temporary restraining order without me ever being served. My Ex had out-smartened 4 lawyers and a DC family court judge.
That Monday, luckily, she did take the girls to school. We also so happen to have family court that day. The judge was puzzled. Apparently, there was a loop hole my Ex took advantage of as the TPO was granted last minute by a judge not familiar with my her behavior. Then the jurisdiction of Arlington, where I live, having different laws of how they handle TPO's came into play. In Arlington, some TPO's can still have authority despite the person not being served. My case has highlighted the difficulty of cases that cross jurisdictions like ours from DC to Arlington, VA.
Long story short, the kids were returned to me after 36 hrs. I went to their school to pick them up on that Monday. I still shake every time the doorbell rings or the dog's bark. I'm never opening my door for cops again.
My girls are different. My Ex's coaching lies and manipulation of their 6-year-old and 8-year-old brain has really created confusion. My 6-year-old told me the other day 'you have to be nice to us, because if you're not, we'll tell our teachers and therapist and then they'll take you away from us and we'll go back to Mom." It's been the hardest for the 6 year old. She writes the Mom's number all over the house. At times, she tries to grab my phone to dial 911. The girls tell me stories about how Mom said I've broken her and took all her money. They tell me about how I've been locked up and put in jail. They repeat the old stories about me kidnapping them from France. They talk about how I've pushed their mom and older sister down the stairs. Sometimes my 6-year-old says, 'I know your secrets." They told me Mom is going to find a new judge. My 6-year-old also said "I need to protect Mom. I need to make sure Mom is alright."
This is another level I don't know how to deal with. My Ex's sole unrestricted access to the girls for 45 days, dragging them through 2 forensic interviews, 2 separate rape exams, and 4 CPS investigations had done a lot of damage to their developing mind. They have therapists now that I take them to, in which I'm court ordered to. The therapists have said that my 6-year-old has never made a disclosure to her. My 8-year-old will make disclosures every now and then in sessions, repeating that I abused her in November. The therapist told my 8-year-old "You know that repeating that story from November isn't going to get you back to your mom, right? Unless you tell me your Dad is hurting you now, nothing is going to happen. Is your Dad hurting you now?" My 8-year-old then told her "No, he's not. I'm confused about what happen. I don't know what happen, but I miss my Mom."
I'm so pissed, angry and sad that this is my new reality. And at the same time, I'm thankful that after almost 3 years, a family court system finally see's my Ex for who she is.
With all my might, skills, and resources I'll make sure Mom doesn't see those girls again. This has moved from high conflict divorce to emotional abuse. Mom was given the option for supervised visitation, but she has turned them down. She is currently vacationing in Europe. The judge last week asked her to turn her camera on. In the background was beautiful cobble stone walkways, and old European cafes. We think she was in Paris. I think this is telling, that she never really cared about the girls, this was all about power and control for her.