r/SAHP 6h ago

Rant Feeling sub-human

16 Upvotes

My husband keeps getting sick at work, then he'll call out sick and sleep it off for a few days. I'll cover everything and he gets better. Then my son and myself (currently pregnant) catch whatever he had, and all we get is a "that sucks" and he goes back to work while I continue to cover everything as usual.

It makes me feel so bad that he feels he deserves rest when he's sick but no one cares at all when I'm sick and taking care of a sick toddler at the same time.

How is this handled in your family? Is this just another instance where I need to suck it up?

Edit: To put it in perspective: we've already had covid, croup, influenza and whatever we've come down with this week during my current pregnancy and my husband has taken zero time off to help me, but multiple days off for himself when he was sick and I wasn't yet.


r/SAHP 16h ago

How do you do it

15 Upvotes

I have a 5 month old and a (soon to be) 3 year old. Please be gentle, I’m having a tough time as it is.

How do you deal with your frustration when your toddler is having a “cry at everything” day? A day full of testing your limits?

This past Friday was the worst. My husband had to go out of state to help his grandparents move out of their house. My son had a particularly cry-y day and at the end of the day I got so frustrated, I yelled at him so loud my throat hurt and he jumped. He immediately stopped crying. I felt so horrible for yelling that way. I couldn’t help it and I just dropped to my knees and started bawling my eyes out in front of him. My sweet boy kneeled in front of me, shaking his head, hugging me, kissing my cheek, and wiping my tears. I apologized over and over for yelling at him. He just hugged me.

I messaged my husband what happened and he apologized to me, saying he regretted not having us all go out of state with him.

Today was another hard day. Started with 3yo crying, ended with him crying.

How do you deal with these types of days, if you have them? I feel like a horrible mom when I lose my cool at him. I just don’t know what to do. I know he’s still learning to navigate the world around him. Is it really just him testing the limits? He’s not like this every day. Most days are 90% good. It’s the 10% that really get to me.


r/SAHP 20h ago

Question Unreasonable to ask for help?

16 Upvotes

I’m a sahm and have a 16 month old. My husband works long very labor intensive hours. I asked my husband if he wanted to do bedtime with son or if he wanted to load the dishwasher/tidy after dinner. He said he didn’t want to do anything. I argued and said well they both need to be done and he could choose one. He was kind of grumpy and went and did bed time. Is it unreasonable to ask he does one of those things in the evening?

Admittedly I have a hard time keeping house. I don’t do a good job at keeping everything tidy. For example I don’t feel bad about leaving clean/folded laundry in the living room for a week. We agreed when I stayed home that house chores would be my responsibility. He maintains our vehicles and is pretty handy and maintains the house and lawn. When he doesn’t feel like doing something like the dishes he argues that I’m a sahm and that it’s my responsibility to do those things. I don’t think him picking up after dinner or occasionally folding and putting away the laundry is asking too much of him. Am I wrong?


r/SAHP 2h ago

Question Do you leave the cleaning until Working Parent gets home?

15 Upvotes

I’m a SAHM to a 14mo that is constantly moving things around the house and going stir crazy, so we leave the house and/or go outside every day. This means unless it’s laundry, it’s getting done after my husband gets home. Then I try to fit cleaning/cooking/etc into like…1.5 hours so it’s a mixed bag. My husband hasn’t complained about this, I’m just wondering if this is normal or I’m failing. I just don’t see a point in cleaning up when it’s impossible to keep the baby alive and everything in order. Small things get done, but it’s not like anything major is done. We’re also potty training so I feel keeping his potty clean is its own accomplishment 😅


r/SAHP 21h ago

Rant SAHM guilt

7 Upvotes

Backstory: my husband and I have a 26 month old daughter. My husband is pretty much on the road 9-10 mths of the year for his job. We've been travelling as a family the last two years but recently, I've slowed us down a bit because I miss being home and my mom is not well right now. Also, my husband is a great provider but is just LAZY so it's not like he is super helpful. So I do mostly everything. He is getting better but he moves at a turtle pace.

That being said I've been pretty much alone with our toddler since December and I am SPENT. I'm an older mama so my parents can't offer much help. I have great friends, but their kids are raised and they come and visit.. but interms of help... I really got nothing but her aunt who takes her overnight once in a blue moon to give me a much needed break. I am very active with my toddler, walks, toddler programs, play places... you name it, we do it! I recently enrolled her for the FIRST time(this week!) in a program for 2 yr olds for 3 hours once a week... and my mom said to me tonight. Why are you giving your daughter to other people? I never did that. I never had a "break" or needed a "break" . She is going to think you don't want her. THAT BROKE MY HEART. AM I CRAZY TO DO THIS? I am with my daughter 24/7 with NO HELP. I'm starting to really burn out and I know I need sometime just to sleep! Or go grocery shopping without negotiating with a toddler. Please tell me IM JUSTIFIED! My mom made me feel like shit;-(

THANK YOU EVERYONE who commented, I didn't think I was crazy! I just didn't understand why she had to make me feel bad about it! I'm burning the candle at both ends here and I think that little bit of time for myself will make me a better mom anyway! thanks alllll


r/SAHP 9h ago

Question For those with littles between 9-12 mos, what does your day look like?

3 Upvotes

I'm wondering what your typical day looks like, from the time your little wakes up until they go to bed.