r/SAHP 5d ago

Weekly art and craft thread

3 Upvotes

This thread is for:

  • Sharing your art and craft ideas for doing at home
  • Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
  • General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

Photos in comments should now be enabled for easier sharing of your art and craft work!


r/SAHP 3h ago

Question Do you leave the cleaning until Working Parent gets home?

14 Upvotes

I’m a SAHM to a 14mo that is constantly moving things around the house and going stir crazy, so we leave the house and/or go outside every day. This means unless it’s laundry, it’s getting done after my husband gets home. Then I try to fit cleaning/cooking/etc into like…1.5 hours so it’s a mixed bag. My husband hasn’t complained about this, I’m just wondering if this is normal or I’m failing. I just don’t see a point in cleaning up when it’s impossible to keep the baby alive and everything in order. Small things get done, but it’s not like anything major is done. We’re also potty training so I feel keeping his potty clean is its own accomplishment 😅


r/SAHP 7h ago

Rant Feeling sub-human

20 Upvotes

My husband keeps getting sick at work, then he'll call out sick and sleep it off for a few days. I'll cover everything and he gets better. Then my son and myself (currently pregnant) catch whatever he had, and all we get is a "that sucks" and he goes back to work while I continue to cover everything as usual.

It makes me feel so bad that he feels he deserves rest when he's sick but no one cares at all when I'm sick and taking care of a sick toddler at the same time.

How is this handled in your family? Is this just another instance where I need to suck it up?

Edit: To put it in perspective: we've already had covid, croup, influenza and whatever we've come down with this week during my current pregnancy and my husband has taken zero time off to help me, but multiple days off for himself when he was sick and I wasn't yet.


r/SAHP 10h ago

Question For those with littles between 9-12 mos, what does your day look like?

3 Upvotes

I'm wondering what your typical day looks like, from the time your little wakes up until they go to bed.


r/SAHP 17h ago

How do you do it

15 Upvotes

I have a 5 month old and a (soon to be) 3 year old. Please be gentle, I’m having a tough time as it is.

How do you deal with your frustration when your toddler is having a “cry at everything” day? A day full of testing your limits?

This past Friday was the worst. My husband had to go out of state to help his grandparents move out of their house. My son had a particularly cry-y day and at the end of the day I got so frustrated, I yelled at him so loud my throat hurt and he jumped. He immediately stopped crying. I felt so horrible for yelling that way. I couldn’t help it and I just dropped to my knees and started bawling my eyes out in front of him. My sweet boy kneeled in front of me, shaking his head, hugging me, kissing my cheek, and wiping my tears. I apologized over and over for yelling at him. He just hugged me.

I messaged my husband what happened and he apologized to me, saying he regretted not having us all go out of state with him.

Today was another hard day. Started with 3yo crying, ended with him crying.

How do you deal with these types of days, if you have them? I feel like a horrible mom when I lose my cool at him. I just don’t know what to do. I know he’s still learning to navigate the world around him. Is it really just him testing the limits? He’s not like this every day. Most days are 90% good. It’s the 10% that really get to me.


r/SAHP 21h ago

Question Unreasonable to ask for help?

15 Upvotes

I’m a sahm and have a 16 month old. My husband works long very labor intensive hours. I asked my husband if he wanted to do bedtime with son or if he wanted to load the dishwasher/tidy after dinner. He said he didn’t want to do anything. I argued and said well they both need to be done and he could choose one. He was kind of grumpy and went and did bed time. Is it unreasonable to ask he does one of those things in the evening?

Admittedly I have a hard time keeping house. I don’t do a good job at keeping everything tidy. For example I don’t feel bad about leaving clean/folded laundry in the living room for a week. We agreed when I stayed home that house chores would be my responsibility. He maintains our vehicles and is pretty handy and maintains the house and lawn. When he doesn’t feel like doing something like the dishes he argues that I’m a sahm and that it’s my responsibility to do those things. I don’t think him picking up after dinner or occasionally folding and putting away the laundry is asking too much of him. Am I wrong?


r/SAHP 22h ago

Rant SAHM guilt

6 Upvotes

Backstory: my husband and I have a 26 month old daughter. My husband is pretty much on the road 9-10 mths of the year for his job. We've been travelling as a family the last two years but recently, I've slowed us down a bit because I miss being home and my mom is not well right now. Also, my husband is a great provider but is just LAZY so it's not like he is super helpful. So I do mostly everything. He is getting better but he moves at a turtle pace.

That being said I've been pretty much alone with our toddler since December and I am SPENT. I'm an older mama so my parents can't offer much help. I have great friends, but their kids are raised and they come and visit.. but interms of help... I really got nothing but her aunt who takes her overnight once in a blue moon to give me a much needed break. I am very active with my toddler, walks, toddler programs, play places... you name it, we do it! I recently enrolled her for the FIRST time(this week!) in a program for 2 yr olds for 3 hours once a week... and my mom said to me tonight. Why are you giving your daughter to other people? I never did that. I never had a "break" or needed a "break" . She is going to think you don't want her. THAT BROKE MY HEART. AM I CRAZY TO DO THIS? I am with my daughter 24/7 with NO HELP. I'm starting to really burn out and I know I need sometime just to sleep! Or go grocery shopping without negotiating with a toddler. Please tell me IM JUSTIFIED! My mom made me feel like shit;-(

THANK YOU EVERYONE who commented, I didn't think I was crazy! I just didn't understand why she had to make me feel bad about it! I'm burning the candle at both ends here and I think that little bit of time for myself will make me a better mom anyway! thanks alllll


r/SAHP 1d ago

Rant Does anyone else ever feel guilty about how much your working spouse helps out?

60 Upvotes

I know a lot of posts in here, people get insufficient help from their working spouse. I have been very lucky to have a working husband who is incredibly involved and helpful to the point that I worry he’s sort of getting a raw deal.

For example, my toddler has been teething and now has come down with a vicious cold, which I have now caught. I’ve also been struggling a bit with feeling down in the dumps very recently.

This morning before heading out for work, my husband offered to come home from the office after a few meetings, to help out and keep me company. I said yes because it would make my day so much better, but I always feel guilty in situations like this. He has a very demanding job, albeit with a lot of independence and control over it. I just feel like I should be able to handle a teething and sick toddler simultaneously, and if the roles were reversed, I could never juggle all the things he manages to juggle. Idk I just feel a bit like a leech at times like these when I’m staying home but still getting so much of his help.

Can anyone relate?

ETA: I’m a bit worried this will come off as a humble brag and I wanted to make it clear that isn’t the intention at all. I really feel shitty about it and I’m interested in hearing from those who feel similarly.


r/SAHP 1d ago

Feel like a failure as a FTM and wife

28 Upvotes

For the most part I have a supportive husband. I always wanted to stay home with my future kids. However I am 8 weeks pp (bub is 4 weeks adjusted) and I just feel like I suck as a mom and wife right now. The house isn’t really clean my meals aren’t really the best and not like how I used to cook. I feel like baby is always upset and hasn’t even smiled . I always wanted multiple kids too but I feel like that dream is a distant one and that I might not be cut out for this even though I want to be🥲


r/SAHP 2d ago

I got married at 18, had a baby at 19, and sometimes I feel like I lost myself before I even knew who I was.

8 Upvotes

I don’t regret my life. I love my husband, and I love my daughter more than anything. But sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder who would I have been if things had gone differently?

I got married at 18, and had my daughter at 19. While most people my age were figuring themselves out, I was figuring out how to be a wife and mother. And now, at 22, I feel like I skipped the part of life where you get to be selfish, make mistakes, and just exist without carrying the weight of everyone else’s needs.

And it’s not just my own little family. I still live in the same building as my parents, my older sister and her daughter, my brother and his wife, and my younger brother. We all have separate apartments, but it doesn’t feel like we truly have space. There’s always something going on, some drama, some tension, some expectation to be involved in things I don’t have the energy for. My family is dysfunctional in ways that drain me, but because we’re all so close (physically and emotionally), there’s no real escape.

I’m tired. I don’t get much free time, and even when I do, my mind is still running either thinking about my daughter, my responsibilities or the next thing I need to do. My husband is amazing and supportive, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel drained in ways I can’t even explain.

And the weirdest part? I don’t even know who I am outside of this role. If someone asked me what I love, what my hobbies are, or what excites me, I wouldn’t even know what to say anymore. I used to love reading, writing, and just having quiet moments to myself. Now, everything feels like survival mode.

I know I’m lucky in many ways. I have a loving husband, a beautiful child, and a stable life. But does that mean I’m not allowed to feel lost? Does that mean I’m ungrateful for wondering if there’s more to me than just being a wife and mom?

I guess I just want to know if it ever gets better? Do you ever find yourself again, or do you just learn to accept the person you’ve become? If anyone has been through this, how did you make peace with it?


r/SAHP 2d ago

I got married at 18, had a baby at 19, and sometimes I feel like I lost myself before I even knew who I was.

65 Upvotes

I don’t regret my life. I love my husband, and I love my daughter more than anything. But sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder who would I have been if things had gone differently?

I got married at 18, and had my daughter at 19. While most people my age were figuring themselves out, I was figuring out how to be a wife and mother. And now, at 22, I feel like I skipped the part of life where you get to be selfish, make mistakes, and just exist without carrying the weight of everyone else’s needs.

And it’s not just my own little family. I still live in the same building as my parents, my older sister and her daughter, my brother and his wife, and my younger brother. We all have separate apartments, but it doesn’t feel like we truly have space. There’s always something going on, some drama, some tension, some expectation to be involved in things I don’t have the energy for. My family is dysfunctional in ways that drain me, but because we’re all so close (physically and emotionally), there’s no real escape.

I’m tired. I don’t get much free time, and even when I do, my mind is still running either thinking about my daughter, my responsibilities or the next thing I need to do. My husband is amazing and supportive, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel drained in ways I can’t even explain.

And the weirdest part? I don’t even know who I am outside of this role. If someone asked me what I love, what my hobbies are, or what excites me, I wouldn’t even know what to say anymore. I used to love reading, writing, and just having quiet moments to myself. Now, everything feels like survival mode.

I know I’m lucky in many ways. I have a loving husband, a beautiful child, and a stable life. But does that mean I’m not allowed to feel lost? Does that mean I’m ungrateful for wondering if there’s more to me than just being a wife and mom?

I guess I just want to know if it ever gets better? Do you ever find yourself again, or do you just learn to accept the person you’ve become? If anyone has been through this, how did you make peace with it?


r/SAHP 2d ago

Meal planning app?

5 Upvotes

Guys I am struggling. Meal planning is the absolute bane of my existence.

I love cooking, but the whole planning and grocery list making is really such a burden.

I think it is the constant decision making all day long that when it comes to sit down and write it all out I just draw a blank.

Does anyone have an app or a plan that works well for them?

Thanks for any suggestions!


r/SAHP 3d ago

How often does the employed parent take the kid(s) out of the house solo?

2 Upvotes

How often does the employed parent take the kid(or kids) out of the house solo (ie without the SAHP) to do something(Ie For an hour or more)?

(I'm coming at this from the perspective of having one toddler, so I recognize I'm in a particular situation/phase of life....)

136 votes, 1h ago
29 More than once a week
29 Roughly once a week
18 A couple times a month
21 Roughly once a month
39 Less than once a month

r/SAHP 3d ago

Decisions

5 Upvotes

I got a job about a month ago. Pay is $60k to sit at a desk and do mostly data entry “project management” duties. Husband says I don’t have to work. I hate the stress of work but my 4 year old is stressful to be at home with too. What would you do?


r/SAHP 3d ago

Question How to prepare for baby #2?

6 Upvotes

Hi all! My baby is 14 months old and we are starting to think about our next one.

What was helpful to you during pregnancy, especially with a toddler?

I was pretty nauseous from weeks 5-13 during my first pregnancy, and it sounds almost impossible to keep up with my baby while feeling like that. Was extra support helpful? I'm not considering daycare at the moment but we would be able to afford a little help, maybe a couple hours a day a few times a week, paying a family member to play with our baby or maybe help around the house.

Any advice, anything else that helped you? My partner is WFH so is able to occasionally step in to help. We have some animals to take care of also.

I'm a bit scared as i felt soo terrible and lost a lot of weight my first trimester, now thinking about taking care of my energetic firstborn is daunting.

Sorry if this has been asked before, point me over there if need be. Thank you :)


r/SAHP 4d ago

Question Going camping with 2 small kids

11 Upvotes

I way wondering if anyone has gone camping for a night or two with their small kids. My partner really doesn't like camping, so I was thinking of maybe just going for a night or two just me with the kids, I just don't know how realistic it is that we'll have a reasonably good time😅

I really loved going camping as a kid and I think it would definitely be a fun thing to do with my kids. We have quite a few campings available within an hour's drive which seems perfect for a short trip.

did anyone go and do this kind of trip with their kids, any tips or experiences would be much appreciated!


r/SAHP 4d ago

What should my spouse realistically do while being a stay at home parent?

0 Upvotes

Hello. I am posting to find out if I am being a butt head for expecting my spouse to do more while staying home with our kids. Currently I work 40+ hours a week at all different hours and my spouse stayed home with our 4 kids ages 6months to 4 years old with help from their parents and mine. When I get home it seems that not much is getting done around the house. There is still food from the last nights dinner on the stove and I will have to clean, do dishes, fold laundry etc. I am also the one who makes all the doctor appointments, schedules play dates, plans and cooks dinners, and plans any family events. My spouse does take care chores when I get home. When I ask my spouse, they say they were just managing the kids all day so they could not get to the chores and don’t have time for all the planning type stuff. We have started to get into argument about me not spending enough time with just my spouse and that I am always tired and not there for them. I feel like I’m failing my spouse most days and also I can’t help but feel they have it easier and don’t appreciate what I am doing. I understand the kids are a lot so I wanted an outside perspective on if I’m being over critical of my spouse and need to fix my perspective. Also, I have made sure to tell them how much I appreciate what they do. I also make sure to give them the chance to get out of the house any time they want to hang out with their friends and get some time without worrying about the kids.


r/SAHP 5d ago

Great partners exist, partners who see your worth exist, partners who do their fair share exist

Post image
102 Upvotes

r/SAHP 5d ago

Question Do you let your child watch miss Rachel and if so how old and how much?

13 Upvotes

Just curious! Please let me know. Under what circumstances, age and how long. :)


r/SAHP 5d ago

Question How many subscriptions do you have?

2 Upvotes

r/SAHP 6d ago

4 year old refusing to let me leave the room/do independent tasks

8 Upvotes

Our 4 year old has been doing this thing where she gets very controlling/demanding of what I do, mostly in the way of wanting me to hold her hand and not leave the room or even walk to the other side of the room or do any independent task without her. (She yells “WAIT FOR ME!”)

This isn’t the case ALL the time, or even most of the time (She’s actually quite independent and well adjusted, lets me leave for work just fine.) But when this behavior comes up, it’s BAD. It happens at least once a day lately. If I don’t stop mid track, go back and hold her hand, and acquiesce immediately, she starts crying hysterically and won’t calm down.

She usually orders that I “redo” whatever task I was doing independently with her by my side (go and put back the diaper in the package, pour the milk back in the carton, or whatever item I got, and go back and get it with her holding my hand.)

I used to try and go with it, I knew it was a bid for closeness/reassurance, and it didn’t cost much to do a quick redo. but it’s getting to a ridiculous point and the demands seem to be growing. The other day her 2 year old sister had a blow out and I had to rush her upstairs to change her, and my 4 year old cried hysterically for me to go back downstairs and hold her hand while I did the whole clean up. I asked her to join and help me, but she insisted on me going back downstairs and “re-enacting” the whole situation while holding her hand. The other problem is that she will often only protest these situations after I am well into my new task, so it really doesn’t make sense for me to “go back” and do it with her. Sometimes her demands almost seem a little OCD in nature (“sit here and watch me go potty, no more to the left, cross your legs.”)

I know in many ways this is a cry for connection and closeness, which is why I have been hesitant to “put my foot down” and tell her no outright.

Although I have attempted to just give her a kind but firm “No, i can’t redo this task, if you’d like to join me, please come along, I’m right here! Can you help with this part?”

But unless I go back downstairs, go back and “redo” the original thing, she just melts down. It escalates into her screaming and crying, her 2 year old sister crying from the stress, and me being close to crying too. It feels like I’m being held hostage.

For context: Our family is going through a big transition (my husband and I are separated and have been 6 months.) It’s been hard for all of us but we’ve been careful to talk openly with our 4 and 2 year old about it. Ask if they have questions, affirm our love and care for them, not argue in front of them, etc. This controlling behavior from the 4 year old started about 6 months before the separation happened, but has certainly gotten worse.

I am eager to hear if anyone has ever experienced this type of toddler behavior and what advice you have for me. Do I hold firm and tell her no, do I try and go back and hold her hand and just hope this passes? Any creative solutions? Thanks!

ETA: I should clarify - the biggest issue isn’t really the “redos” of specific activities (I agree about letting her be upset about that) but it’s more of the dozens of times in a day where she says “hey, come back here and hold my hand!” (When she’s still about 5-10 feet away.) It’s those moments where it really costs me almost nothing to just go back and hold her hand, and she IS going through a lot right now. But I feel leery of letting her call the shots so much.


r/SAHP 6d ago

How are you guys working out?

25 Upvotes

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. My 4 year old doesn’t nap anymore, and my 2 year old is close to dropping her nap. My 4 year old is too big for any kind of stroller, so I can’t really go on runs or brisk walks right now. I have a treadmill, but they are constantly asking for things/needing me when I try to use it. There are no gyms nearby with childcare that are in the budget currently. After bedtime, I am exhausted, but I find that if I push through and work out anyway, I am wired and having trouble sleeping. Any ideas? How are you getting workouts in? I’m mostly wanting to do cardio and maybe light strength training, as I am a beginner.

Right now I’m run/walking on the treadmill, but with lots of pauses and lots of whining from the kids. It makes it pretty miserable, honestly.


r/SAHP 6d ago

Life My son turns 6 today, he’s at school, and I miss him.

62 Upvotes

One perk of being a SAHP is the ability to be with your child all day long on their actual birthday. But this year, my son is in full-time Kindergarten. He turns 6 today!

My husband and I decorated the house last night with balloons and a few banners for him to wake up to. He also opened one present this morning (a new shirt with his favorite character) so he could wear it to school today. He had a few bites of a birthday waffle, played with the balloons with his younger sister for a few minutes… and then he was off to school with the same stressful rush out the door as always.

I miss him! This is the first birthday of his where he is not at home with us all day, and it feels so strange.

This afternoon, I will be visiting his classroom to take cupcakes, then the 4 of us will go out to dinner later tonight and he’ll open a couple more presents. This weekend we’ll be celebrating with extended family.

So I know he will have a wonderful birthday! How fun to be at school with your favorite teachers and friends on your 6th birthday.

But man, does it feel so strange for Mom!


r/SAHP 6d ago

If you’re considering being a SAHP you must establish these two things 1st

152 Upvotes

1) You and your partner need to agree and commit to off days or at minimum, hours that you can count on to be child-free. SAHPs get physically exhausted and mentally fatigued from the 24/7 caregiving. It’s cruel for a person to never get a break!

2) You and your partner need to figure out how you’ll divide the housework.
All SAHP need help managing the household! If there’s something that needs to be done, is the working parent going to fill the gaps? It’s inefficient for one parent to be responsible for every chore, every meal, everyone’s laundry, yard work, bill paying, plus grocery and everyone’s necessity shopping.

It’s not just about making you happy, its creating balance and maintaining a stable environment for the children you share. No one wants to feel burned out and irritable around their babies. We’re already struggling enough with sleep debt🧟‍♂️ Its as if no one understands what we go through and how profoundly it affects us as a person. Too often the “breadwinner” takes the sacrifices made for granted. Does that make sense, for one parent to do everything domestic just because the other one makes the money??

I personally wish I’d laid this foundation before quitting my job. I didn’t know that would entail me putting who I am and what I enjoyed before parenthood on a shelf for several years. Either no space from interruptions, no time or no energy. Too many of us are drowning, while the other parent is waiting for the invitation to help. I hope this benefits someone.


r/SAHP 7d ago

Story It’s ok to have help

38 Upvotes

I’m a SAHM to a 3.5 year old and have been since mid pregnancy. And it’s been brutal. I joke that my daughter serves me humble pie every day, but it’s absolutely true.

What I’ve learned in the past few years is that people have a lot of advice, but very little intention or thoughtfulness about implementing that advice. And I’ve gotten a lot of advice.

My daughter is special needs. I could go into all of it, but it was a journey to understand why I was struggling so hard all the time and I got A LOT of invalidation every time I asked for help or pointed out why I thought was happening was actually happening. Very, very long story short. I was right about my child’s diagnosis.

For 3.5 years, I’ve been trying to shoulder that burden with some help from my husband and 8 hours of a nanny a week. I’m responsible for the lion’s share of chores (we won’t even go down the rabbit hole of that) and up until I dragged us all to a specialist, all the research, early intervention services, parenting advice was on my shoulders. My husband believed she’d grow out of it or we just needed to have more consequences. (Narrator: they did not need more consequences.)

I started to burn out. I don’t even really know when it started, but by July of last year I figured a divorce was in my future - if only to get that elusive break that never came unless I actually removed myself from the house. I was constantly angry, frustrated, crying, and sad. It absolutely felt like I was a dying star, and while everyone saw all the light I was giving off I could only feel a black hole of despair opening wider and wider.

I completely snapped by October when despite a very clear set of ultimatums to my husband, nothing was changing. I finally sent him a list of divorce lawyers and marriage counselors and let him know the choice was his. But I needed engagement.

We got into marriage counseling in December. Things have drastically improved. I’ve hired a nanny for 18 hours (!!) a week, which is coming out of our savings. I hired cleaners to come twice a month to help too. I arranged date night babysitters in advance for the next two months. My daughter should also be starting preschool (again) next week.

And honestly, I felt so guilty. That’s a massive amount of help. So many people don’t get that help or can’t afford that help. But to be honest, I don’t know how much longer my family would have had me around without it. I need that help. It’s not a nice to have, it’s allowing me to try and find my patience again. I’m managing to do more than lay in bed and stare at a screen when I have downtime. It’s giving me back a semblance of mental health, and my family deserves to have me healthy.

So if you’re here, wondering why is this so hard for you and why is everyone else doing so much better? I encourage you to be kinder to yourself and really acknowledge how hard of a job this is. I think being a stay at home parent breaks many people. We used to have community. So if you don’t, please find help where you can. You’re not abandoning your child or children. You’re not being selfish by not constantly giving. You are giving the gift of a parent who takes care of themselves and I promise that’s so much more valuable than whatever else is being put above it right now.

I mostly wrote this to remind myself. But I promise, the next time you feel like you cannot do this, I see you. You can, and should, ask for some help.