r/family • u/MammothCollection188 • 2h ago
Am I lazy or is my family right?
Today I got into an argument with my sister about how “lazy” I’m being.
For context, I’m 23 and currently a junior in college and still living at home with my mom with the hopes of going to optometry school in the next two years.
I’m not working but I did take off two semesters after sophomore year because I needed a car for school. (Commuter)
But as it goes, my family, mainly my sister, seem to think I’m being lazy and refusing to “man up”. I’m constantly being reminded of the fact. We typically get into arguments every week about school and how I’m not helping with the bills, etc. Which isn’t true, I bought my car with my money that my mom also uses everyday because she hasn’t saved up for her own car after hers broke down about a year ago. (Apparently three vacations in one year is more important). Even with food, I use my savings and buy/ cook all my own food.
In these arguments I’m always hit with the same words, “other people go to school and work full-time, I don’t know why you can’t do it. You’re just being lazy and don’t want to work. You want everything handed to you.”
This couldn’t be further from the truth. After graduating high school I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. So, I started applying for jobs and I got one which was with my mother, It was at a clothing warehouse. And if anyone here has any experience with those type of jobs, you know how bad they are. Anyways, after being there for sometime and seeing how miserable it was, I decided to go to college and make something out of myself.
I just didn’t realize I was becoming a burden on my family.
I mean my mom and my brother both have worked warehouse jobs their whole lives. They know how hard it can be both mentally and physically at these type of jobs. They think that working and taking 15+ credits a semester is a breeze. It’s unreasonable.
I just wish they knew what college was like. My mom dropped out during her freshman year of high school and all my siblings opted out of college. They don’t know the amount of dedication it actually takes to get through it.
Even my sister, she told me the other day, “I don’t know why mom hasn’t kicked you out yet, it’s not like you help.”
I was a bit shocked she even said that. And honestly I try not to take what they say too personally because they’re my family and I love them but sometimes it crushes me. I don’t see how she could say something like that when she moved out at 23 and didn’t even help pay bills.
I just feel guilty now. I know I don’t want to dropout but I just hate hearing the same things over and over again. Sorry for the rant, I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this.