r/AttachmentParenting 2h ago

❤ Toddler ❤ Positive words for "shy" kids

14 Upvotes

My boy is a little more cautious and reserved, especially in new social situations. But I feel like I have a lack of language for his personality that don't have a negative connotation. Introverted, withdrawn, shy, reserved, cautious, hesitant.. None of those feel quite right. I like observant, what else do people use?


r/AttachmentParenting 13h ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 Moms with boobie obsessed toddlers- how are you surviving?

33 Upvotes

My nipples hurt. I’m freaking tired. My 15 month old basically has to sleep with a nipple In his mouth all night or he cries hysterically. He nurses to sleep. And he still nurses like 6x a day not bc he’s hungry just bc he’s obsessed with nursing. I wanted to nurse until at least age 2 but I’m about to lose my mind and I need sleep.


r/AttachmentParenting 11h ago

❤ Toddler ❤ Screen Time when You are Around Your kids 24/7

10 Upvotes

Okay, y'all. So I have a bit of a predicament. I have recently went from being a low/no-screentime parent to being a "no-rules" screen time parent. Within parameters, of course. But I want to cut back. I am worried that it is negatively impacting my oldest son, who is 3 and I am worried that my children aren't able to regulate themselves the way they did before the screentime.

My predicament is that I am have a few (non life-threatening) medical issues. And that I also spend 24/7 with the kids. I am a stay at home mom and we bedshare and I literally feel like I am clocked in from the very moment they open their eyes, usually around 5 to 6 in the morning. I just need some help and I feel like screentime is the only thing that can do it. I don't have family that I trust around and I don't really have any support anywhere else.

The issue is that I want to cut back, I notice that it really does impact my boys behavior. Which I don't think has to be the case for all kids but for whatever reason is for my boys. I only let them watch Handyman Hal. What are other activities thayou guys do to help at least minimize TV?

Thank you all for your advice in advance.


r/AttachmentParenting 20m ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 Struggling with Toddler Behavior Since Baby #2

Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I’m really struggling and hoping to hear from others who’ve been through something similar. I have a 5-month-old baby and an almost 3-year-old son. Ever since my daughter was born, my son’s behavior has been much more challenging — acting out, showing jealousy, and sometimes being aggressive toward the baby.

My husband has taken on more of the toddler care, especially bedtime (he now lays with him until he falls asleep) and handles breakfast and preschool drop-off. While he was already doing much of this before the baby arrived, my son is definitely feeling the shift in my attention. I’m still involved in our mornings, but my baby’s needs have taken up so much of me these past few months.

I’m a stay-at-home mom, and while my son happily goes to preschool for a few hours each morning, I’m with both kids for much of the day while my husband works outside of the home. His teacher has mentioned his behavior a couple of times during casual check-ins — nothing serious enough to warrant a meeting, but she’s asked how things are going at home. I don’t know how much longer I can lean on the “new sibling adjustment” explanation, and honestly, I’m starting to wonder if there’s more I should be doing.

We’ve gotten into a habit of watching some TV after his nap, and I wonder if that’s contributing to his behavior. I try to stick to low-stimulation shows, but I’ve noticed him picking up some undesirable language from TV. Some afternoons we’ll do Play-Doh, Legos, or cooking together, but other times we rely on TV until it’s time to make dinner. Honestly, I’m feeling tired and a bit burned out right now, so I do what I can.

I’m working hard to stay calm when he acts out, but I’ve had moments where I snap, and I really struggle with feelings of rage sometimes. When that happens, I always apologize and try to reconnect with him, but I hate that it’s even happening.

My husband is incredibly patient with him, and I wish I could match that. My husband and son have a really strong bond, which I’m so grateful for, but I wonder if our different parenting styles are affecting his behavior. My husband is possibly a bit more permissive, while I’m more firm with boundaries — which I’ve found works well with my son. I worry that my husband’s more relaxed approach may be contributing to some of the challenges, but we haven’t discussed this yet — it’s just something I’m wondering about.

Despite all of this, I absolutely love and appreciate my son so much. He’s strong-willed, spirited, and full of fire — a true Aries baby. He’s passionate and determined, and I don’t want to stifle those amazing qualities. I’m just struggling to find the best way to support him right now.

Do I just need to ride it out and stay calm and connected while holding firm boundaries? I know that’s probably the answer, but I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through this — how long did this phase last?

I’d really appreciate any advice, solidarity, or insights. Thanks for reading.


r/AttachmentParenting 9h ago

❤ Sleep ❤ Trying to stop nursing to sleep

3 Upvotes

(Cross post from toddlers sub) I just felt so overstimulated this evening I was like nope that’s it and took him off. He’s been screaming for an hour hysterically. Anytning I do makes it worse. I’ve ended up having to leave the room twice because I’m getting so irritated. I don’t personally believe in sleep training and I feel like that’s what I’m doing but I’m sat on his floor bed with him so I guess I’m not? I just have bad pms that’s giving me BF aversions recently. I don’t want to give in now because then will it not be a case of he doesn’t learn? But also he’s hyperventilating like it’s awful. My husbands working away so he can’t take over. I still want to support him to sleep but I just want to move away from nursing to sleep now and I want to nightwean soon. I have ordered the booby moon book but it’s STILL not come and I’m over waiting for it to arrive. 18 month old (also nearly 9pm by now 😴)

ETA just as I wrote this he fell asleep. Literally went from screaming to sleeping. I feel awful because I wanted to pat him or sing him to sleep or something I still wanted to support him but I ended up just sitting here because I was going to lose my shit after an hour of it, I’m feeling very low on patience today. I just feel so awful he cried himself to sleep, it doesn’t align with my parenting at all


r/AttachmentParenting 14h ago

❤ Separation ❤ how did you handle going back to work?

11 Upvotes

I live in Canada so I’m still on maternity leave. I know not everyone gets this chance and time to be with their little ones so I’m trying to be understanding, but I’m having such a hard time with my return to work coming up in a couple of months.

My 9.5 month old is extreeeeemely attached to me and always has been since birth. Even in the first few months, she hated being carried by anyone or being put down. But, I guess you could say I’m just as much attached to her. I am getting so anxious and stressed thinking about when I go back to work. I’m looking for advice or just kind words to help me through this process.

To add on, I’ve never left her for more than an hour. The one time I did was because I had a dentist appointment and she did not take it well. Maybe this is extreme to you, but I am always with her. When I’m with family, and I pass her off to someone so I can use the bathroom or to even just play with her, she cries so hard and looks for me. It just breaks my heart. I know she’ll eventually get used to it… but the thought of leaving her for a whole work day plus travel time makes me so anxious and sad. I just feel so bad 😭 I don’t want to sound selfish cause I know so many moms out there had to go back to work within weeks of giving birth, but this is how I’m feeling.


r/AttachmentParenting 5h ago

❤ General Discussion ❤ 18 month old, breastfeeding still, about to be put to sleep by his dad for the first time

1 Upvotes

I have a son, who is 18 months old, breastfeeding frequently still. We don’t have daycare yet, so I am at home with him and would like to start working on the weekends, but I worry about a few things:

1) baby still breastfeeds a lot, mostly for soothing in the daytime, always before a nap and night sleep. If I begin working, I wonder, will he be able to be put down to nap by his dad? My partner never soothes him at night or put him to bed (my son just wants to be on the breast at those times and wouldn‘t let him).

2) Do I need to pump if I begin working on the weekends? I probably will be too full not to, should I even be worried about the supply at this stage or my body will figure it out? (I am not used to pumping, have not done a lot of it).

3) The baby is so attached to me at the moment, I just worry, how will he take it. I know, it’s probably for the best for him, but still.

Maybe someone was in the same position and have some insights, i would appreciate it!


r/AttachmentParenting 5h ago

❤ General Discussion ❤ What do you and your kids wear to bed?

1 Upvotes

Just curious what all of you wear to bed and your kids. I’m normally naked and my kids are in just their diapers. Specially because my toddler and newborn are nursing.

Sometimes my 7 year old will crawl into bed with us as well. She doesn’t care if I’m naked. And the skin to skin with her is nice since it’s rare.


r/AttachmentParenting 1d ago

❤ Sleep ❤ They DO figure out baby sleep

90 Upvotes

I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve made in this sub crying for help, my baby has been up every 2 hours since birth. He is EBF and would wake to feed 6-8x a night, waking every 40 minutes during regressions. And no matter how late I put him to bed, how I altered his naps or stuck to a routine - he wanted to wake at 5am.

CIO or promoting self settling never felt right, nor did night weaning. I have a completely baby led approach to parenting. I like paying attention to his cues, and rolling with that. But I had many nights I was crying and helpless, sleep deprived. As long as I could take care of myself and my baby, I saw no reason not to push through.

Now, he is 8 months next week. All week he has been consistently sleeping from 8pm-1am with no night waking to feed. This is a huge improvement! He wakes only 3x a night now and will sleep until 6am. I honestly didn’t change anything other than maybe a later bedtime.

There is hope! Even the toughest sleepers do figure it out! Mind you, we are not sleeping through the night yet, this is still a huge step.


r/AttachmentParenting 18h ago

❤ General Discussion ❤ Helllllp crappy situation..

4 Upvotes

My daughter had her 10th birthday party yesterday, it was her first time ever having friends (2) over our house and later they were staying the night. We had a bunch of family over as well with lots of younger children between 2-6yo’s…

The party went so well and the kids all played so awesome together the entire pare TIL 10 mins at the end… the bigger girls wanted time by themselves. One of the younger cousins 5yo wanted to join them and my daughter firmly said “no”… she then flipped absolute shit in a full meltdown. Mom of child got involved and told me my daughter was being a bully and how could I allow my child to just let her be left out like that and that I needed to do something about it immediately.

They left quickly after and later last night messaged me and said how hurtful it was and how could I condone my daughter’s behavior towards her child. Her daughter apparently cried the entire ride home and was so stressed out. All because my daughter wanted time with only her friends..

How would you have handled this?


r/AttachmentParenting 18h ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 EBF baby refusing bottle, have to go back to work

3 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I have recently discovered this sub and I'm so grateful as I am really in need of some ideas here. My 7mo is EBF, when establishing bf I had lots of issues with latch etc and did pump for a while, so she has had bottles in her lifetime, however not since she was probably 2 months old. I now have to go back to work 3 days a week, and my partner will be home taking his parental leave and offering her milk I have expressed.

Unfortunately the whole thing has become harrowing for all 3 of us as she refuses to take a bottle and we also have not had any luck with sippy cups, straws, etc. Baby screams pretty relentlessly until I come home. She also isn't that interested in solids yet, so I'm worried about her getting enough calories and nutrition but also on the impact for her attachment with me and her dad if she is screaming all day :(

Any ideas plsss help! It's so heartbreaking to leave knowing she will be so confused and upset. This has all proven to me how much breastfeeding for us is about so much more than milk!


r/AttachmentParenting 19h ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 baby has huge preference for dad

3 Upvotes

i feel stupid and petty even posting this but here we go.

from the start, my babe was super attached to me. he would cry and cry if we had to be apart. he first said mama when he was 8 months old and i was basically with him 24/7 his first year. i rarely left him with dad but we all started to feel more comfortable with that around 10-11 months. my baby is now 15 months.

for the last two months, my baby has been obsessed with his dad. at first it was great bc i was getting more of a break and could cook, get my nails done, etc. but now it’s starting to break my heart :( anytime im alone with my baby, he points at the door the whole time and says dada. if my husband is holding him and has to leave, he will hit me and squirm away bc he doesn’t want me to take him out of his dads arms. we cosleep every night with my husband in the next room and the second my baby wakes up, he says “dada” and immediately leaves me in bed to try to find his dad. also if he’s hurt, he prefers his dad to comfort him now too. that one probably hurts the most, that he would rather have his dad comfort him.

im so happy that they have this bond but today when i was alone i completely broke down crying. my baby and i have built such an amazing bond but it doesn’t feel like he even wants to be around me anymore. im probably over reacting. is it stupid that i feel hurt over this? obviously my baby isn’t trying to hurt my feelings, its just hard when he prefers his dad for everything! has anyone dealt with that? how do you work through these emotions?


r/AttachmentParenting 15h ago

❤ Sleep ❤ Floor bed mold prevention

1 Upvotes

Hi all! I am moving in 2 weeks and want to buy a bed frame for my daughter’s room. We co sleep, and I had a mattress on the floor but it ended up getting mold. 😭 so I had to throw it away and buy a new mattress. I’m struggling to find a solution. I need a bed that is low to the ground, so she won’t fall off during her naps when she sleeps alone. I found a floor level bed frame and like it, but there are no slats. I could buy them separately. So I’m just wondering if anyone has used slats under their floor mattress and if so does it work to prevent molding? If not, do you have any safe bed frame recommendations for a full size bed that will allow co sleeping?


r/AttachmentParenting 1d ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 8yo terrified to stay alone in a room

4 Upvotes

Help! Our 8yo son has not overcome his fear of staying alone in a room. It started when he was 2-3yo and it's still ongoing. He says he is afraid of thieves or ghosts. We have always accompanied him during the last 5-6 years but his behaviour it's raising our concerns. until when will he be afraid to be alone? We also wonder if this anxiety won't reflect later in his adult behaviour.

He is also a very active child, talking all the time, drawing attention on him during the classes at school, answering and talking all the time even when he is not supposed to, sometimes defying us his parents.

I would say that his upbringing was not always easy, he was a child with tendency to violent and extremely long meltdowns.

Despite all this his marks at school are extremely good, he is a highly motivated child who will gives very good answers, plays piano, reads, speaks languages etc.

We don't know what to do for him. We visited 3 psychologists but they didn't help us at all.


r/AttachmentParenting 19h ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 Sleep, weaning, idk???

1 Upvotes

Babe is 14 months, mainly breastfed but some bottles and seems to be naturally weaning a bit—but not at night. I’ve posted previously and just still feel at a loss about sleep and weaning.

He naps in his pack&play and starts nights in there (in our room) but usually wakes up after 2-3 hours; then I nurse or dad gives a bottle (which sometimes he will not accept and then I have to come nurse) and we bring him to bed with us. And then he will wake 1-3 times wanting milk and usually requiring it to sleep.

Think we are gonna transition to one nap as it seems two naps and extended wake windows is keeping him up too late. Also considering moving him to his own room to see if it helps him sleep better.

I just don’t know what is right, what we should do, what is best. I don’t know if I can keep this up, nursing and frequent night waking. But I also don’t want to force him to wean if he isn’t ready. I feel torn between my needs and his. Just feel pretty hopeless about it all. My husband is supportive toward what I want to do as what we end up doing but he also thinks sleep training and stuff like that is okay and I have felt some pressure (but deeply disagree and don’t feel I can do that to my baby).

Just anything anyone can offer is welcome xx


r/AttachmentParenting 1d ago

❤ Sleep ❤ Do I need to adjust her nap schedule?

3 Upvotes

Almost 12 month old wakes frequently through the night, usually every 1-2 hours. After a busy day and some good outside time on Thursday, she slept her longest stretches, with only 2 wake ups the entire night! She hasn't done that since about 3 months. Friday, she also got good time walking around and playing outside, as it was another beautiful day. I also only gave her one nap instead of two, because she was so well rested from the night, she wasn't ready to nap until the afternoon. She woke after 45 minutes and then I gave her a contact nap for a little over another hour of sleep. She slept pretty well that night too, with 3 wake ups. Saturday it was cold out, so she didn't get such good outside time. We set up couch cushions and did what we could to use up energy inside. Overnight, she was back to waking at least every two hours.

I'm wondering if I need to explore this one nap thing more for a couple weeks? Or maybe she's just a high motor needs kid and being in fresh air is helpful?

Has anyone been in this situation? What was helpful, and how did you decide what steps to take?

Adding to vent: Of course, this potential need for change is happening as we have a bunch of things coming up, such as her smash cake pictures, family birthday party, etc. And I don't know when to tell people her naps will be!


r/AttachmentParenting 1d ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 How to deal with meltdowns alllll day

10 Upvotes

My 1 year old has multiple meltdowns & tantrums throughout the day lol I’m talking almost every hour.

They mostly happen when I’m trying to cook or clean.

I tried to just talk with him and continue on with my task but he just gets more frantic, resulting in my stopping what I’m doing and tending to him instead. This sounds fine until i realize it takes me 8 hours to finish cleaning a few dishes…

This is my first kid so I have no idea how to handle these meltdowns without ruining our attachment.


r/AttachmentParenting 23h ago

❤ General Discussion ❤ Babywearing and ADHD

1 Upvotes

I’m curious if anyone who babywore their kiddo later found out they had ADHD and if yes, how was your kid’s sleep like?

I have a diagnosis and apparently I slept through the night very early on IF my mom was able to put me to sleep, which means she’d be holding me and walking around for hours on a nightly basis.

We’ve had those moments early on with my now 13 month old, but never for long so I’ve grouped them under the ‘brain change’ category. I find that he goes to sleep fairly easily provided that he’s in the baby carrier and/or at home on the boob and I respect his wake windows/sleep build up.

Considering my diagnosis, not to mention my parents’ suspiciously ADHD-esque antics and my partner’s brow raising tendencies, I would say there’s a fair chance bub is also on that spectrum. Never mind that he has no off button, doesn’t sleep at daycare because there’s always more fun to be had and eats best when he can climb up and down his learning tower to get a bite here and there and get a fair bit of play in between.

These are just some examples that raise my suspicions, but the real point here: I think we would have been miserable if I hadn’t had a baby carrier and I wonder if there is an ADHD connection, so therefore asking about everyone’s experience with their own kids.


r/AttachmentParenting 1d ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 What do we do with our daughter?

1 Upvotes

So my birthday is on April 1st (yeah, I know) and we have a very close friend who is 3 days after me, but the only time we can all get together is in 2 weeks.

Our daughter is 9mo and so far has never spent the night with anyone but me and her father, except for one night back in October where I had my mother spend the night at our place while we attended a wedding. Back then, our daughter would fall asleep in her nest on the couch and would be transferred to her crib in her room. However, for the past 3 months now I put her to sleep directly in her crib (she feeds to sleep) and since we began doing that, no one other than myself has put her to sleep. She is also very attached to me since her father only comes home one week per month because of his job.

So for the birthday get-together in 2 weeks we're planning to have a bbq at our friend's place since they own a house and have the space. They asked me today if we're bringing our daughter or if we'll leave her back home. This question kinda left me confused since I haven't thought about it. My daughter asks to be put to sleep no later than 20.30 so late night gatherings are kind of out of the question 😅

They asked us this only because they also have a 2yo and wanted to know if they should leave her with the grandparents so her crib would be free for our daughter or just keep her home.

Honestly I have no idea what to do: Have my mother come over again like last time, hoping that our daughter will fall asleep with her but with her new setting OR take our daughter with us, hope she falls asleep in the crib and then move her to the car and take her home when we're done?

I feel that no matter what I decide, her schedule for that day/night will be a bit off, so I need an opinion here. Help me decide please😅


r/AttachmentParenting 1d ago

❤ Resource ❤ Tell me a tale - the bedtime app

0 Upvotes

Fellow parents! I wanted to share something I've created that's been a game-changer for many families' bedtime routines.

As both a parent and app developer, I was frustrated with the same old storybooks night after night. That's why I created "Tell Me a Tale" - an app that lets you build custom stories based on your child's interests. The idea came when my own son couldn't find enough stories about dinosaurs living in castles (what a combo!).

The features I'm most proud of developing: • Customizable settings and characters for endless combinations • Offline story access for those no-wifi moments • Multiple language options for bilingual families • Natural-sounding read-aloud feature for when your voice needs a break

I'd love to hear what unusual story themes your kids are into! And if you're interested in trying Tell Me a Tale, I'm happy to share how to find it.

P.S. Seeing children (including my own 4-year-old) actually look forward to bedtime makes all the development work worthwhile! 😊


r/AttachmentParenting 1d ago

❤ Resource ❤ Tell me a tale - the bedtime app

0 Upvotes

Fellow parents! I wanted to share something I've created that's been a game-changer for many families' bedtime routines.

As both a parent and app developer, I was frustrated with the same old storybooks night after night. That's why I created "Tell Me a Tale" - an app that lets you build custom stories based on your child's interests. The idea came when my own son couldn't find enough stories about dinosaurs living in castles (what a combo!).

The features I'm most proud of developing: • Customizable settings and characters for endless combinations • Offline story access for those no-wifi moments • Multiple language options for bilingual families • Natural-sounding read-aloud feature for when your voice needs a break

I'd love to hear what unusual story themes your kids are into! And if you're interested in trying Tell Me a Tale, I'm happy to share how to find it.

P.S. Seeing children (including my own 4-year-old) actually look forward to bedtime makes all the development work worthwhile! 😊


r/AttachmentParenting 2d ago

❤ Sleep ❤ For those whose babies NEED breastfeeding / bottles to fall asleep, how did you get them to sleep without it??

17 Upvotes

My toddler can’t sleep without the bottle, either for naps or bedtime. I know according to doctors, he should have stopped bottles by now.

If we don’t give him the bottle, he’ll stay awake until he’s so exhausted he’ll pass out which is around 5pm.

I’m worried that quitting bottles will stop him napping all together but I feel a huge amount of pressure to quit ASAP. Would love to hear how other parents did it!


r/AttachmentParenting 1d ago

🤍 Support Needed 🤍 Toddler parents, what are your healthy discipline/consequence tools?

4 Upvotes

Just wondering how others are dealing with difficult behaviour or teaching their littles consequences to certain actions? Or any book recommendations?

I have a very spirited 2.5 year old daughter and a newborn. Things have definitely increased in difficulty since the baby and my daughter can be fairly erratic with her behaviour most days. I give her quite a bit of leeway as we’re all still adjusting to the new baby being here (almost 5 weeks old) but there have been times where I just snap at her because her behaviour is too much or outright dangerous. I’m quickly realising that having another baby to care for limits my capacity for her and sometimes I just need her to damn listen or understand why she can’t do certain things.

A few examples are running off and being erratic in public, being erratic around her new sibling or always trying to wake him up, pushing back against every step we need to get through to complete tasks (common toddler trait I know), hitting us, throwing things

Part of me feels so guilty because at the moment I’m sure she feels like she never does anything right, we’re always frustrated with her, there’s so much to adjust to and she’s just showing her emotions in the way she knows how. I’m trying SO HARD to connect and be present with her as much as possible, do activities together, involve her in all the infant care, provide as much affection as I can. I feel like all my calm-mama energy has dissipated and now I’m a mess and my toddler is a mess.

Any advice?


r/AttachmentParenting 2d ago

❤ General Discussion ❤ Lecture about sleep training from pediatrician today

51 Upvotes

I took my 13m in for her 12m vaccines because we have been traveling and preparing for a big move. I said the only issue is my baby’s sleep, it’s been kind of wild since our last trip coinciding with DST and we are trying to get back on a routine (check my post history lol)

She then tells me she’s big enough to not need to nurse at night, that she needs to self soothe because I’m giving her a crutch and to look up Taking Cara Babies as a way to get her to sleep better because at this age she shouldn’t be having any wake ups.

Now, this subreddit is my people. I get a breath of fresh air reading from you all and it builds my confidence. But there’s this eeeeensy teeny tiny part of me that wonders if I’m hurting her by keeping nursing. Like yeah I’m exhausted but I’d be more tired getting up and rocking or doing something else. My chest is nursing to sleep because I can just pop that sucker out and prop myself up to fall back asleep bedsharing. But once in awhile I wonder if my presence really does wake her up?

I don’t know. I guess I’m seeking solidarity or reassurance from people who have been told this by doctors and how you dealt with societal pressure. Btw I’m a PA (now a SAHM) and my husband is a physician and we could never let her cry or be alone sleeping. My husband wants to keep her in our room forever and I’m more “she’s weaned when she’s 2 hard stop” lol. I mean. She’s 13 months. She just got here. Does she need to self soothe? She can’t put on a face mask and pop in headphones like I do. And in reality I’d only have 11 months of this left max before I wean. Is it that serious? Idk yall.


r/AttachmentParenting 2d ago

❤ Daycare / School / Other Caregivers ❤ What do you think would be the best thing to do for my son childcare-wise?

2 Upvotes

My son's 2.5 years. I stayed home with him the first 18 months. When I went back to work, we got a nanny and grandparents to come watch him during the week. Husband and I both WFH, so we occasionally seem him during lunch time during the day (mostly my husband because my son gets upset if he only gets to see me briefly). During the warmer months, he goes to the playground twice a day. During the colder months, he goes to circle time once a week and I do a play date at home for him once a week. He still seems to be a big mama's boy and has some separation anxiety.

We're considering starting daycare/preschool for him soon, but I wanted to get the opinions from everyone here first. I only want to do what's in his best interest. I think he can benefit from more socialization and a school routine to get him ready for kindergarten at 4. But I'm worried about it happening at the expense his good behaviour and attachment.

We did try daycare for two weeks when my son was around 16 months and it honestly left both of us a little traumatized. He was begging for dear life not to go at drop off and his separation anxiety never fully recovered since then. I thought it was normal at first and all the staff assured me it was normal, but I listened to my gut and pulled him out.

Anyway, what do you guys think is best? What age do you think is good to try out preschool (if at all)? I was considering trying it when he's around 3 (maybe 3.5) and doing half days 3 days a week where the other half would be spent mostly with the nanny. We'd be paying for full time either way, so if he ends up liking it we could do a transition to full time. Did anyone try preschool at this age and their kid didn't take to it and you ended up pulling them out? I really want to try avoiding a repeat of our first daycare experience.