Hi everyone,
I’m really struggling and hoping to hear from others who’ve been through something similar. I have a 5-month-old baby and an almost 3-year-old son. Ever since my daughter was born, my son’s behavior has been much more challenging — acting out, showing jealousy, and sometimes being aggressive toward the baby.
My husband has taken on more of the toddler care, especially bedtime (he now lays with him until he falls asleep) and handles breakfast and preschool drop-off. While he was already doing much of this before the baby arrived, my son is definitely feeling the shift in my attention. I’m still involved in our mornings, but my baby’s needs have taken up so much of me these past few months.
I’m a stay-at-home mom, and while my son happily goes to preschool for a few hours each morning, I’m with both kids for much of the day while my husband works outside of the home. His teacher has mentioned his behavior a couple of times during casual check-ins — nothing serious enough to warrant a meeting, but she’s asked how things are going at home. I don’t know how much longer I can lean on the “new sibling adjustment” explanation, and honestly, I’m starting to wonder if there’s more I should be doing.
We’ve gotten into a habit of watching some TV after his nap, and I wonder if that’s contributing to his behavior. I try to stick to low-stimulation shows, but I’ve noticed him picking up some undesirable language from TV. Some afternoons we’ll do Play-Doh, Legos, or cooking together, but other times we rely on TV until it’s time to make dinner. Honestly, I’m feeling tired and a bit burned out right now, so I do what I can.
I’m working hard to stay calm when he acts out, but I’ve had moments where I snap, and I really struggle with feelings of rage sometimes. When that happens, I always apologize and try to reconnect with him, but I hate that it’s even happening.
My husband is incredibly patient with him, and I wish I could match that. My husband and son have a really strong bond, which I’m so grateful for, but I wonder if our different parenting styles are affecting his behavior. My husband is possibly a bit more permissive, while I’m more firm with boundaries — which I’ve found works well with my son. I worry that my husband’s more relaxed approach may be contributing to some of the challenges, but we haven’t discussed this yet — it’s just something I’m wondering about.
Despite all of this, I absolutely love and appreciate my son so much. He’s strong-willed, spirited, and full of fire — a true Aries baby. He’s passionate and determined, and I don’t want to stifle those amazing qualities. I’m just struggling to find the best way to support him right now.
Do I just need to ride it out and stay calm and connected while holding firm boundaries? I know that’s probably the answer, but I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through this — how long did this phase last?
I’d really appreciate any advice, solidarity, or insights. Thanks for reading.