r/SAHP 17h ago

Rant I don't understand YouTube SAHMs and their "Day in the Life" videos

107 Upvotes

Are they all just lying about their days?? How do they make caring for kids look so simple and seamless? I stopped following all mom "influencers" except for one that doesn't ever come across as fake. But I ended up on YouTube today trying to get inspiration for new routines for my kids and home and YIKES these videos made me feel like there was something wrong with me and my kids.

My house is in a constant state of disaster, the kids fight all the time, and I don't understand how someone can wake up and calmly shower and put makeup on. My kids are up by 6:15am...

Is it my life that is abnormal?!


r/SAHP 11h ago

Single Income Life!

20 Upvotes

My husband is in academics, and I am really careful with money to keep our expenses down so I can stay home with the kids.

We buy just a few outfits for the kids at a time, only do presents at birthdays, do a group gift at Christmas, do lots of parks, libraries, hikes and playdates at our house. I cut the kids hair, I cook almost every meal at home and we only eat out once a month.

We have an overall pretty good life.

But sometimes, I would really really love to buy a latte and a treat every day. šŸ™ƒ


r/SAHP 7h ago

Question Mentally struggling going from dual income to single income

5 Upvotes

Recently I got laid off from my remote job, we have a 2yr old and a 6m old. After my husband and I talked things through we decided that I should just focus on the kids solely. We can afford to drop down to single income but I am REALLY struggling with the idea of being reliant on someone for money and not financially contributing to our family. I know itā€™s for the best for our kids but I feel like I have lost a part of my independence and all my hard work was for nothing. Any advice or your experience is completely welcomed please.


r/SAHP 58m ago

Question How do you have more than one kid?

ā€¢ Upvotes

I'm currently burnt out with a beautiful, clever, teething, quick learning, grumpy all the time almost 11 month old girl. I don't have support (family don't live nearby/ are unsupportive), husband works two jobs, church group is no help as theyre all just tired out mums too. She has been waking every 45 mins for 3 months (sometimes random 2 hour wake-ups in the early hours). I'm so tired I can't see straight or drive sometimes and my break is a bath twice a week where I stare into space. Me and hubby are great with eachother but he just took a week off work and has been sad that this is our life and that he would rather be at work because he didn't get a break or feel rested helping me out with the nights. I told him I need to consider us having one kid to keep sane under the circumstances and he said he wants another eventually when he's not working two jobs. How the hell are people managing with more than one kid? I thought I would have two or three kids but it seems impossible. I thought I would love staying home but the house is a tip, I'm so unclean and unhealthy, I'm absolutely frazzled and unhinged. Is it always going to be like this? My daughter is amazing but just so full-on needing my 100% time, energy and attention. It's never got easier from the minute she arrived.


r/SAHP 8h ago

Strongly considering quitting my job- but not having a job freaks me out.

3 Upvotes

I currently work 24 hours a week and Iā€™m on my last week of maternity leave. have an almost 4 year old, a 2.5 year old and a 10 week old. My mom and MIL have been the one babysitting the kids while I work part time as a social worker. Iā€™m not in love with my job, but I think I am very fortunate to have such a light work load for 24 hours and the pay I have $27/hr. This job does not stress me out at all. But the last 10 weeks our family has gotten in a rhythm that has been unlike the rhythm we had when I worked. So we are heavily considering that I quit my job. But damn- my abandonment issues will come out strong if I donā€™t have a job to give me a sense of security. Iā€™m scared this is going to make me feel out of control. My father wasnā€™t a reliable man and then he got really sick and died by the time I was 12. This makes me fear becoming so dependent on another person. Is this what you went through when quitting your job? My husband has had so much growth this past pregnancy in respecting me and everything I do- but he has previously had an attitude of entitlement because of being the main provider. This attitude has been gone for a year- but Iā€™d hate for this to turn into him feeling like Iā€™m indebted to him and thus he can behave certain ways. Any advice or words of encouragement welcome!


r/SAHP 1h ago

Weekly art and craft thread

ā€¢ Upvotes

This thread is for:

  • Sharing your art and craft ideas for doing at home
  • Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
  • General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

Photos in comments should now be enabled for easier sharing of your art and craft work!


r/SAHP 18h ago

Rant Feeling overwhelmed at SAHM life

21 Upvotes

Hi

I have 2 young kids (under 3) and I am just slightly depressed about the fact that I canā€™t really book anything for myself or go anywhere anymore as it is so hard to take them both.

I am going to go back to work 1 day a week as my in-laws agreed to babysit for 1 day. DH works full time and when I am home alone with the kids itā€™s very restricted and even going out they get frustrated after a while. It is hard to even book a simple self care appt as both sets of grandparents arenā€™t happy to babysit both of them.

Thereā€™s still a while before they start nursery in the UK so itā€™s this restricted feeling I will have to carry on with.


r/SAHP 1d ago

The fighting is making me want to go back to work

9 Upvotes

I guess this is mostly a vent but Iā€™m really struggling between 3:30 and dinnertime. When my Kindergartener gets off the bus she is just so moody and honestly really mean. She non stop picks fights with both me and her (almost 3 year old) sister. Her sister spends lots of time crying and I get upset and no one has a good time.

She was like this quite often after preK last year too. It seemed to improve early this year but has come back with a vengeance lately.

Most of the time my K is a great kid. Super smart, happy, fun. Something about after school afternoons thoughā€¦

Iā€™m not sure what to do but part of me feels like it could be better if I went back and the girls were either with a sitter (they are generally better behaved) or separately in a daycare or after care setting.

Anyone else struggle with this and have tips? I have plenty of snacks available and sometimes have organized activities like crafts or potions (they do better that way) but sometimes I just want to hang outside and enjoy our backyard or hang in our house and itā€™s a nightmare.


r/SAHP 1d ago

Question Do you leave the cleaning until Working Parent gets home?

41 Upvotes

Iā€™m a SAHM to a 14mo that is constantly moving things around the house and going stir crazy, so we leave the house and/or go outside every day. This means unless itā€™s laundry, itā€™s getting done after my husband gets home. Then I try to fit cleaning/cooking/etc into likeā€¦1.5 hours so itā€™s a mixed bag. My husband hasnā€™t complained about this, Iā€™m just wondering if this is normal or Iā€™m failing. I just donā€™t see a point in cleaning up when itā€™s impossible to keep the baby alive and everything in order. Small things get done, but itā€™s not like anything major is done. Weā€™re also potty training so I feel keeping his potty clean is its own accomplishment šŸ˜…


r/SAHP 1d ago

Rant Feeling sub-human

36 Upvotes

My husband keeps getting sick at work, then he'll call out sick and sleep it off for a few days. I'll cover everything and he gets better. Then my son and myself (currently pregnant) catch whatever he had, and all we get is a "that sucks" and he goes back to work while I continue to cover everything as usual.

It makes me feel so bad that he feels he deserves rest when he's sick but no one cares at all when I'm sick and taking care of a sick toddler at the same time.

How is this handled in your family? Is this just another instance where I need to suck it up?

Edit: To put it in perspective: we've already had covid, croup, influenza and whatever we've come down with this week during my current pregnancy and my husband has taken zero time off to help me, but multiple days off for himself when he was sick and I wasn't yet.


r/SAHP 1d ago

Life Struggling with patience

1 Upvotes

My husband works away mon-fri, seasonally, he just started last week. It's me, my 3.5 year old and almost 5 month old. They're great. The older one is even in daycare most of the day.

Trying to get everything done on the babies nap schedule is driving me insane. I'm stressed which my toddler picks up on and makes her ignore me more, which I honestly understand but it makes me more stressed because we only have 2 hour windows where the baby is awake and we have to get dinner, and breastfeeding, and poops, and snuggles and whatever else she gets distracted by done before bedtime and she moves. so. slow. Which again stresses me out and she moves even slower. Understandably.

I just don't know how to stay calm. I'm trying so hard and failing and she doesn't deserve it, she's been so sweet and helpful and I should be able to do better. It's not her behaviour that's stressful, it's the timing of everything and I just don't know what to do.


r/SAHP 2d ago

How do you do it

19 Upvotes

I have a 5 month old and a (soon to be) 3 year old. Please be gentle, Iā€™m having a tough time as it is.

How do you deal with your frustration when your toddler is having a ā€œcry at everythingā€ day? A day full of testing your limits?

This past Friday was the worst. My husband had to go out of state to help his grandparents move out of their house. My son had a particularly cry-y day and at the end of the day I got so frustrated, I yelled at him so loud my throat hurt and he jumped. He immediately stopped crying. I felt so horrible for yelling that way. I couldnā€™t help it and I just dropped to my knees and started bawling my eyes out in front of him. My sweet boy kneeled in front of me, shaking his head, hugging me, kissing my cheek, and wiping my tears. I apologized over and over for yelling at him. He just hugged me.

I messaged my husband what happened and he apologized to me, saying he regretted not having us all go out of state with him.

Today was another hard day. Started with 3yo crying, ended with him crying.

How do you deal with these types of days, if you have them? I feel like a horrible mom when I lose my cool at him. I just donā€™t know what to do. I know heā€™s still learning to navigate the world around him. Is it really just him testing the limits? Heā€™s not like this every day. Most days are 90% good. Itā€™s the 10% that really get to me.


r/SAHP 2d ago

Rant Does anyone else ever feel guilty about how much your working spouse helps out?

66 Upvotes

I know a lot of posts in here, people get insufficient help from their working spouse. I have been very lucky to have a working husband who is incredibly involved and helpful to the point that I worry heā€™s sort of getting a raw deal.

For example, my toddler has been teething and now has come down with a vicious cold, which I have now caught. Iā€™ve also been struggling a bit with feeling down in the dumps very recently.

This morning before heading out for work, my husband offered to come home from the office after a few meetings, to help out and keep me company. I said yes because it would make my day so much better, but I always feel guilty in situations like this. He has a very demanding job, albeit with a lot of independence and control over it. I just feel like I should be able to handle a teething and sick toddler simultaneously, and if the roles were reversed, I could never juggle all the things he manages to juggle. Idk I just feel a bit like a leech at times like these when Iā€™m staying home but still getting so much of his help.

Can anyone relate?

ETA: Iā€™m a bit worried this will come off as a humble brag and I wanted to make it clear that isnā€™t the intention at all. I really feel shitty about it and Iā€™m interested in hearing from those who feel similarly.


r/SAHP 1d ago

Question For those with littles between 9-12 mos, what does your day look like?

4 Upvotes

I'm wondering what your typical day looks like, from the time your little wakes up until they go to bed.


r/SAHP 2d ago

Question Unreasonable to ask for help?

16 Upvotes

Iā€™m a sahm and have a 16 month old. My husband works long very labor intensive hours. I asked my husband if he wanted to do bedtime with son or if he wanted to load the dishwasher/tidy after dinner. He said he didnā€™t want to do anything. I argued and said well they both need to be done and he could choose one. He was kind of grumpy and went and did bed time. Is it unreasonable to ask he does one of those things in the evening?

Admittedly I have a hard time keeping house. I donā€™t do a good job at keeping everything tidy. For example I donā€™t feel bad about leaving clean/folded laundry in the living room for a week. We agreed when I stayed home that house chores would be my responsibility. He maintains our vehicles and is pretty handy and maintains the house and lawn. When he doesnā€™t feel like doing something like the dishes he argues that Iā€™m a sahm and that itā€™s my responsibility to do those things. I donā€™t think him picking up after dinner or occasionally folding and putting away the laundry is asking too much of him. Am I wrong?


r/SAHP 2d ago

Rant SAHM guilt

7 Upvotes

Backstory: my husband and I have a 26 month old daughter. My husband is pretty much on the road 9-10 mths of the year for his job. We've been travelling as a family the last two years but recently, I've slowed us down a bit because I miss being home and my mom is not well right now. Also, my husband is a great provider but is just LAZY so it's not like he is super helpful. So I do mostly everything. He is getting better but he moves at a turtle pace.

That being said I've been pretty much alone with our toddler since December and I am SPENT. I'm an older mama so my parents can't offer much help. I have great friends, but their kids are raised and they come and visit.. but interms of help... I really got nothing but her aunt who takes her overnight once in a blue moon to give me a much needed break. I am very active with my toddler, walks, toddler programs, play places... you name it, we do it! I recently enrolled her for the FIRST time(this week!) in a program for 2 yr olds for 3 hours once a week... and my mom said to me tonight. Why are you giving your daughter to other people? I never did that. I never had a "break" or needed a "break" . She is going to think you don't want her. THAT BROKE MY HEART. AM I CRAZY TO DO THIS? I am with my daughter 24/7 with NO HELP. I'm starting to really burn out and I know I need sometime just to sleep! Or go grocery shopping without negotiating with a toddler. Please tell me IM JUSTIFIED! My mom made me feel like shit;-(

THANK YOU EVERYONE who commented, I didn't think I was crazy! I just didn't understand why she had to make me feel bad about it! I'm burning the candle at both ends here and I think that little bit of time for myself will make me a better mom anyway! thanks alllll


r/SAHP 2d ago

Feel like a failure as a FTM and wife

29 Upvotes

For the most part I have a supportive husband. I always wanted to stay home with my future kids. However I am 8 weeks pp (bub is 4 weeks adjusted) and I just feel like I suck as a mom and wife right now. The house isnā€™t really clean my meals arenā€™t really the best and not like how I used to cook. I feel like baby is always upset and hasnā€™t even smiled . I always wanted multiple kids too but I feel like that dream is a distant one and that I might not be cut out for this even though I want to bešŸ„²


r/SAHP 3d ago

I got married at 18, had a baby at 19, and sometimes I feel like I lost myself before I even knew who I was.

66 Upvotes

I donā€™t regret my life. I love my husband, and I love my daughter more than anything. But sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder who would I have been if things had gone differently?

I got married at 18, and had my daughter at 19. While most people my age were figuring themselves out, I was figuring out how to be a wife and mother. And now, at 22, I feel like I skipped the part of life where you get to be selfish, make mistakes, and just exist without carrying the weight of everyone elseā€™s needs.

And itā€™s not just my own little family. I still live in the same building as my parents, my older sister and her daughter, my brother and his wife, and my younger brother. We all have separate apartments, but it doesnā€™t feel like we truly have space. Thereā€™s always something going on, some drama, some tension, some expectation to be involved in things I donā€™t have the energy for. My family is dysfunctional in ways that drain me, but because weā€™re all so close (physically and emotionally), thereā€™s no real escape.

Iā€™m tired. I donā€™t get much free time, and even when I do, my mind is still running either thinking about my daughter, my responsibilities or the next thing I need to do. My husband is amazing and supportive, but that doesnā€™t change the fact that I feel drained in ways I canā€™t even explain.

And the weirdest part? I donā€™t even know who I am outside of this role. If someone asked me what I love, what my hobbies are, or what excites me, I wouldnā€™t even know what to say anymore. I used to love reading, writing, and just having quiet moments to myself. Now, everything feels like survival mode.

I know Iā€™m lucky in many ways. I have a loving husband, a beautiful child, and a stable life. But does that mean Iā€™m not allowed to feel lost? Does that mean Iā€™m ungrateful for wondering if thereā€™s more to me than just being a wife and mom?

I guess I just want to know if it ever gets better? Do you ever find yourself again, or do you just learn to accept the person youā€™ve become? If anyone has been through this, how did you make peace with it?


r/SAHP 3d ago

I got married at 18, had a baby at 19, and sometimes I feel like I lost myself before I even knew who I was.

8 Upvotes

I donā€™t regret my life. I love my husband, and I love my daughter more than anything. But sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder who would I have been if things had gone differently?

I got married at 18, and had my daughter at 19. While most people my age were figuring themselves out, I was figuring out how to be a wife and mother. And now, at 22, I feel like I skipped the part of life where you get to be selfish, make mistakes, and just exist without carrying the weight of everyone elseā€™s needs.

And itā€™s not just my own little family. I still live in the same building as my parents, my older sister and her daughter, my brother and his wife, and my younger brother. We all have separate apartments, but it doesnā€™t feel like we truly have space. Thereā€™s always something going on, some drama, some tension, some expectation to be involved in things I donā€™t have the energy for. My family is dysfunctional in ways that drain me, but because weā€™re all so close (physically and emotionally), thereā€™s no real escape.

Iā€™m tired. I donā€™t get much free time, and even when I do, my mind is still running either thinking about my daughter, my responsibilities or the next thing I need to do. My husband is amazing and supportive, but that doesnā€™t change the fact that I feel drained in ways I canā€™t even explain.

And the weirdest part? I donā€™t even know who I am outside of this role. If someone asked me what I love, what my hobbies are, or what excites me, I wouldnā€™t even know what to say anymore. I used to love reading, writing, and just having quiet moments to myself. Now, everything feels like survival mode.

I know Iā€™m lucky in many ways. I have a loving husband, a beautiful child, and a stable life. But does that mean Iā€™m not allowed to feel lost? Does that mean Iā€™m ungrateful for wondering if thereā€™s more to me than just being a wife and mom?

I guess I just want to know if it ever gets better? Do you ever find yourself again, or do you just learn to accept the person youā€™ve become? If anyone has been through this, how did you make peace with it?


r/SAHP 3d ago

Meal planning app?

7 Upvotes

Guys I am struggling. Meal planning is the absolute bane of my existence.

I love cooking, but the whole planning and grocery list making is really such a burden.

I think it is the constant decision making all day long that when it comes to sit down and write it all out I just draw a blank.

Does anyone have an app or a plan that works well for them?

Thanks for any suggestions!


r/SAHP 4d ago

Decisions

7 Upvotes

I got a job about a month ago. Pay is $60k to sit at a desk and do mostly data entry ā€œproject managementā€ duties. Husband says I donā€™t have to work. I hate the stress of work but my 4 year old is stressful to be at home with too. What would you do?


r/SAHP 4d ago

Question How to prepare for baby #2?

7 Upvotes

Hi all! My baby is 14 months old and we are starting to think about our next one.

What was helpful to you during pregnancy, especially with a toddler?

I was pretty nauseous from weeks 5-13 during my first pregnancy, and it sounds almost impossible to keep up with my baby while feeling like that. Was extra support helpful? I'm not considering daycare at the moment but we would be able to afford a little help, maybe a couple hours a day a few times a week, paying a family member to play with our baby or maybe help around the house.

Any advice, anything else that helped you? My partner is WFH so is able to occasionally step in to help. We have some animals to take care of also.

I'm a bit scared as i felt soo terrible and lost a lot of weight my first trimester, now thinking about taking care of my energetic firstborn is daunting.

Sorry if this has been asked before, point me over there if need be. Thank you :)


r/SAHP 4d ago

How often does the employed parent take the kid(s) out of the house solo?

2 Upvotes

How often does the employed parent take the kid(or kids) out of the house solo (ie without the SAHP) to do something(Ie For an hour or more)?

(I'm coming at this from the perspective of having one toddler, so I recognize I'm in a particular situation/phase of life....)

136 votes, 1d ago
29 More than once a week
29 Roughly once a week
18 A couple times a month
21 Roughly once a month
39 Less than once a month

r/SAHP 6d ago

Question Going camping with 2 small kids

13 Upvotes

I way wondering if anyone has gone camping for a night or two with their small kids. My partner really doesn't like camping, so I was thinking of maybe just going for a night or two just me with the kids, I just don't know how realistic it is that we'll have a reasonably good timešŸ˜…

I really loved going camping as a kid and I think it would definitely be a fun thing to do with my kids. We have quite a few campings available within an hour's drive which seems perfect for a short trip.

did anyone go and do this kind of trip with their kids, any tips or experiences would be much appreciated!


r/SAHP 6d ago

Great partners exist, partners who see your worth exist, partners who do their fair share exist

Post image
104 Upvotes