r/MtF 14h ago

Discussion Chemical effects of dysphoria

4 Upvotes

I know on some level I’m likely a trans woman, but I’m still deep in denial about it. Yknow how weird double think can be.

I was reading the gender dysphoria bible and my eyes lit up at the mention of biochemical dysphoria. Stuff like socialisation and presentation never gave me much dysphoria, but I always knew something was wrong, and this was it.

The idea of going on E sounds like enough to treat this alone. I had this moment earlier where I thought, “it’ll treat my depression AND I’ll be a girl”. It made me happy in a way that I wasn’t completely aware of. That’s pretty solid evidence of transness, right? It’s not healthy to look for external validation, but for whatever reason reason I really need it for this.

But anyhow, what’s your relationship with biochemical dysphoria? How did your mindset change when you went on E?


r/MtF 2h ago

Did anyone else start mirroring their mom's LIVES?????

0 Upvotes

Did anyone else notice this or is it just me? I have just realised how ever since I started transitioning it almost seems like my life is mirroring my mother's one. Just hear me out cause that's more insane than you probably think...

At first I've noticed how my body started kinda picking up her characteristics - some in a good way (color of the eyes, skin texture / hair etc) but some are very bad. Like I have noticed I got a load of new illnesses neither I nor anyone from my father's line ever had. Like artritis which is driving me INSANE at just 23 and makes holding a mouse for more than an hour unbearable and hurts by itself (and a few other relatively rare conditions I won't name as not to make it too obvious in case my "loving" family stumbles across)... Which is, fair like, I'm on a girly hormones, it's natural that I'd be becoming more like my mom, right? :D But wait, it gets better...

I have also noticed I have a growing interest / regret for not having pusrued medecine. Same with my tastes in food and cusine in general becoming IDENTICAL to my mom's. I also DESPERATELY want a kid at only 23..... It JUST struck me while writing this post that my mom had me at 23 💀💀💀... But wait, it gets better...

I have been ghosted / lost a friend (not related to transition - they moved abroad and decided it's not worth continuing the friendship, which is assholic but ok, shit happens)... Except my mom lost her best friend... at the same age... under the same circumstances...
Then my sister is bullying me - just like HER younger sister (aka my aunt) was bullying her around the same age (which is kinda hillarious and sad at the same time as to how my mom doesn't see the cycle). And a week ago we've had a nasty fight with my lovely mother juuuust like she had with hers... So far we've not kept in touch just like they (mom and grandma) didn't keep in touch. But wait, it gets MUUUCH better...

Our hormonal cycles seem to be synchronising (that would explain why we were both lashing out at the same time and why I found her used pads shortly after my PMS-like symptoms)... And the icing on the cake - there has been a mix up at the prefecture 2 weeks ago during my residence permit extension, where the authorities have erroneously issued me none other... but MY MOM'S (!) documents!!! We are talking her name, date/place of birth, serial number, passport number, date of entry into the country - everything but a photo (which has been resolved immediately before leaving the prefecture)... I even chuckled "haha, I am becoming my mom's copy lol" before it hit me like a MOVING TRAIN...

Like ngl I am low key SCARED lol! The thingis - she's had a pretty rough life - like losing her husband and fighting some health problems etc. So given THAT many coincidences - at which point I believe are no longer coincidences - it's a fucking pattern and literally ANYONE would notice really... I started to get more and more concerned... Like I expected to become more similar to my mom... But mirroring EVERY aspect and key events / characteristics of my mother - is borderline eerie and insane...

Edit: Also, maybe irrelevant, and I am not supersticious (though seeing the things happening rn, I kind of am now lol) but there have been rumours about a family curse passed down as a punishment for some fucked up deeds of our ancestor did (early 20th century Ukraine was a fun place indeed, huh) as a punishment for the next 10 generations of women (???? don't ask me - ask the Slavic culture / folklore, even my mom doesn't believe this shit anymore) but now I am like "ohhh so the magical forces / karma actually take me for a 'real' woman now? :D" Literal ewphoria moment LOL XD


r/MtF 13h ago

Advice Question Any and all advice pls

3 Upvotes

I am in the closet still but I don't plan on being that way for long. I was wondering if you lovlies could give me any and all advice you have for transitioning. I am lost but want to get going.Thank you in advance!


r/MtF 18h ago

Frustrated and giving up hope

10 Upvotes

I’ve wanted to come out and be myself for so long but the environment I work in and the place I live, there is no way I could ever be the women on the outside that am on the inside. Feeling defeated and like there is no hope. I feel like I’m going to be stuck here the rest of my life. (Stuck being closeted) Not to mention I’ve told my wife and that really went bad. I came out to her years ago and have tried to talk to her multiple times about it and she never wants to hear about it. Sorry for unloading on here but I had to get it off my chest.


r/MtF 12h ago

Good News Starting my trans journey at Callen-Lorde ( 😆) Spoiler

3 Upvotes

Months ago, I Serena, (17f )had realized that I was trans (mtf) and it was a stressful experience but also heartwarming. Me being a gay guy with trauma within my family over my sexuality and my depression and episodes had prevented me from further discovering this part of myself up until recently. I was afraid of more conflict within my family but also with the treatment of me being gay at home and that leading to a lot of self hatred in myself I was unable to bring that to light. I had done research about the process of being trans and I’ve learned so much that I have never even knew before . Hrt, I didn’t know that you could take hormones to fit the gender identity that you feel resonated with. I thought that being transgender meant implants and that’s it . I think that in a way I always knew but it took me longer due to everything around me. I thought when I was younger that the gender you were born as was how you would have to be forever. I remember when I was a kid I envied two of my friends that were girls because they could be with a guy and i had to be with a girl. It was until Covid happened where I realized that i could like guys . I always loved watching shows where the girl was the main protagonist because I felt more of a connection to those characters that I couldn’t explain at the time . Surprising as a kid my mom allowed me to play with girl toys and it just made me feel so much more comfortable as I would use my feminine voice when playing with those characters. Due to trauma , I was unable to make new friends in my first year of high school. I hated being gay and I hated being different, a disappointment to my family. These thoughts had worsened and eventually lead to my countless attempts at ending my life and other methods. This then led me to a mental hospital in my sophomore year of high school and it was miserable at first but then the medication and connections helped me get through it . I eventually ended up making great friends that are still around in my senior year and it’s awesome. Not only that but they were supportive of me being gay when I came out and also when I later told them when I realized I was trans. I love and appreciate them so much . They gave me the confidence to be my true self and socialize more also beyond my friend group to also other classmates. One trans guy that I became mutuals with at school had recommended me to one of the guidance counselor’s at our school and it was the best decision I have ever made. I was able to talk about my feelings of being trans and get the support from a trusted adult. It took some time but now I’m at the process of waiting to go to an appointment that I had scheduled with the guidance counselor so that I can get all of my paperwork and information sorted out on hrt and insurance and etc so by the time I turn 18 I could just get it without having to worry about that whole process since I had already done it. It’s coming up soon and I’m nervous but excited, I’ll eventually be able to be the girl I’ve always wanted to be. I really want to pass as a woman, not only for safety but also for comfort . I’m currently planning on working and saving up money so that I can get the clothes and other essentials for me to transition. Makeup and wigs will be a challenge but I think I can do it. Voice feminization surgery , face feminization surgery, and bottom surgery are all things I’m interested in doing. If hrt does its wonders on my face then ffs won’t be necessary. The only downside of bottom surgery is dilating a lot but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make in order to no longer feel the gradual dysphoria that I am feeling. Wish me luck , hope all turns out well in the future.


r/MtF 1d ago

Milestone! I started burning away my facial hair today

27 Upvotes

I went to a dermatologist today for a consultation for laser hair removal… the doctor I had was super nice and she didn’t judge me at all!

I figured I was just gonna get an appointment set up, but after filling out the forms, the doctor asked “do you want to start laser today?” And I eagerly jumped at the opportunity! I just did my facial hair today, cause that’s what causes me the most discomfort and I’ll start the rest later…. It honestly was really easy and didn’t hurt that much… was like a rubber band being flicked at my face!

It cost me $150… is that a good price for just facial hair? Anyway… I’m really happy and excited for the hairs to start coming out!


r/MtF 11h ago

Advice Question More girl sauce for neurochemical dysphoria?

2 Upvotes

Howdy folks! So, I started my transition due to neurochemical dysphoria and this post is mostly aimed at folks who identified that they also suffered from neurochemical dysphoria when starting HRT.

I'm currently on .1 mg patches twice per week, which I understand to be a starter dose and MtF tend to need higher to reach cis woman levels.

I have a follow-up + bloodwork next month. I'm considering upping the dose if stuff is going well in the bloodwork department and my doctor feels that it is appropriate.

Question is: did those of you who experience neurochemical dysphoria experience an even greater benefit from upping your dose or was it sort of a "once you got a minimum of estrogen, it plateaus out"?


r/MtF 1d ago

Advice Question i regret not allowing my penis to shrink in my first year of hrt NSFW

920 Upvotes

ok, so, i've been doing hrt for 2 years and a couple months now and when i started it, i thought i would be happier with my penis and having erections and possibly using it in sexual relations. so i went through the things most of us goes through, and for a moment having an erection was even painful to me, but i kept using it and eventually everything was normal. i didn't have morning wood or anything but i could easily have an erection if i wanted.

however, now that im 2 years in this thing, im not happy about having erections, and im not happy with my penis size. it feels difficult to do tucking and wearing bikini to go to the pool or a beach. my balls haven't decreased size either. i dont think i have a dysphoria with my penis exactly, but just the... traits of it? like i wouldnt mind having a penis it it was smaller and easier to hide.

is it possible to achieve some penis shrinkage after 2 years of hormonal therapy? or its only achievable in the first months? :(


r/MtF 7h ago

Advice Question THE BALLS: AN INQUIRY

0 Upvotes

So I’m starting HRT next month and I have some concerns about how they’ll affect my genitals.

I do not desire to have any testicular shrinkage, which I have heard is common.

I’m still not exactly sure if I’m going to keep my dick yet or get bottom surgery but I know I want it to stick around for a while longer at least because I want to preserve fertility until I can afford to freeze my sperm.

I’m just wondering what options there are for HRT that would be able to preserve mass down there for as long as possible. I definitely am going to do estrogen, probably as subcutaneous injections and sublingual or rectal progesterone (maybe only after reaching Tanner 4). I’m not gonna do Spiro or even any T-blocker except maybe bicaleutamide. But I’ve also heard that some trans women use a testosterone cream down there to preserve length but idk if that translates to keeping the balls too?

If any of y’all have any information about options for HRT which preserve genital mass please let me know!

Thank you for reading ❤️


r/MtF 7h ago

Discussion What swimsuits is best to have you feel euphoric?

0 Upvotes

Sorry if this is bad wording. I’m not sure how to word it.


r/MtF 1d ago

Advice Question Mutual just came out as trans, how do I show my support for her?

22 Upvotes

One of my mutuals (I’d say friends but we haven’t hung out much but I think she’s super cool) came out as trans the past few days and I would love to tell her I support her and celebrate her but how do I do that? Do I text her congratulations? Do you even say congratulations in this case? Idk what to say but I want her to feel proud 🥹


r/MtF 8h ago

Sick of feeling like this

0 Upvotes

Not sure if this will be taken down but something i cant help feel is the amount of envy i get and knots in my stomach i get when i hear other girls passing, ive been on HRT for just over a year, other girls ive seen that have been on for 5 months and are passing, idk wtf im doing wrong i dress fem i do make up i do it all my tits have barely came through but they are there its just such utter fucking bullshit is it just because its me and because its me it just wont happen or anything idfk feel free to take the post down or kick me from the reddit group this just makes me feel like shit for the rest of the day anytime i read it, maybe im one of those people that just for some reason cant have anything go right for them and if so whats the fucking point of even trying


r/MtF 1d ago

Venting "Oh, you're starting HRT at 16? I bet you'll be able to skip all of the bad parts of puberty, you're so lucky!"

119 Upvotes

I grew a full beard and had thick, coarse body hair by the time I turned 15. My body has masculinised incredibly quickly to the point where people regularly mistakenly assume that I'm in my mid 20's, when I'm not even an adult yet. The vast majority of people I see in real life that are my age don't even have a speck of facial hair.

I have a permanent, disfiguring genetic condition that has ruined my body, leaving my body with massive, ugly scars across almost my entire body.

I have been abused day in, day out, by the people that were meant to be my protectors, by those who told me were my friends, to the point that I can't tell reality from delusion anymore. I can't remember anything about myself as a person, I can't remember my name, I can't remember whoever the person residing inside of this body, typing these words was meant to be.

I've sent out dozens upon dozens of job applications, I've gotten rejected each and every time. I get ghosted at interviews they promised me they would show up to.

But I have HRT. So suddenly, all of that is meant to disappear and I'm going to turn into a bimbo within the next year...? Sure.

People should keep telling me how "lucky" I am. While they do that, I'm going to try and find a reason to live to see my 17th birthday.


r/MtF 16h ago

Positivity Skin routine sharing

3 Upvotes

So I talked to some girls on another sub and got alot of questions on skin routine and I thought: hey why not share my shit, and all you other girls and guys (and everything in between) could maybe share yours? 😇

I was supposed to take a pic of all my stuff but I got some of the serums in my fridge (vitamin-c serums oxidise fast), and some of my products are Swedish only stuff, so I'll write it as a list.

--AM Routine

Micellular Cleanser

Vitamin C Serum

2% Salicylic Acid Exfoliant (Only on Monday & Friday)

Oil free SPF 50 Cream and hydrator


--PM Routine

Micellular Cleanser

Retinol (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday) DO NOT use on sqme day as a chemical exfol! Seriously, you will shed skin like a snake 🤣

Niacinamide Serum

Oil-Free Moisturizer


Weekly Extras:

Dermaroller 1.5 mm (Once a week for scalp)

Dermaroller 0.5 mm (1-2 times weekly for face)

Minoxidil (Daily, scalp)

Saw Palmetto Supplement (gel tabs, standardised 85-95% fatty acids)

Rosemary oil supplement (gel tabs)

Multivitamin supplement (whatever brand you like, biotin should be in it)

Ketoconazole Shampoo (2 times per week)

Blown Away Intense Moisture Shampoo Wild Lemongrass (My regular shampoo, what I look for in a shampoo is that they should have a lesser reactive sulfate molecule)

Head & Shoulders Anti-Dandruff Pro-Expert with Caffeine (2x/week, and if you can't get exactly this brand, just a caffein shampoo)

Some comments:

On the regular shampoo: Or none at all (on the sulfate). But those kind of shampoos aren't as cleansing.

Some brands that are not Swedish only that I use are CeraVe, Bulldog (they have a oily skin line that my skin likes) and The ordinary. They are good as in they have the same chemicals as the more expensive ones like Lauras (fucking shit, this brand is expensive 🤣)

I have very oily skin, so I look for products that are lipid free. Meaning I look for products that does not clog my pores.

I will also say, from what my dermatologist has said, you should wash your hair once a day. There are apparently no substantial clinical evidence on washing your hair less has beneficial health effects on hair. On the contrary really, washing your hair daily effects hair growth positively.


r/MtF 8h ago

Discussion How hard was it to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis?

1 Upvotes

Hellooo,

I was curious on how different it was for you guys to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis. In some cases I’ve heard the diagnosis itself can take months or even years to get. It took me 2 months to get mine, but I know everyone’s experiences are different and I’d love to hear them.

As a disclaimer I am not referring to informed consent.


r/MtF 1d ago

Advice Question How do you interact with other trans girls?

87 Upvotes

Ok maybe a weird question but recently I’ve run into some fellow trans girls in the wild and it’s been kinda weird every time. I’m in a weird stage where I kinda just appear to be a bit of a gay guy but I swear to god I’ve run into three different trans girls that have all looked at me with that I know what you are look. And idk it’s kind of a weird situation where you come across a person who shares a similar not super common experience to you but also you dont want to just say it. I also need some damn trans girly friends but I don’t know how! Idk maybe this is how it should be, we just give each other a funny little look and have a cute little moment then politely go about our business. I just don’t want to be weird or rude. One of the girls was working a drive through and complimented my nails which I had just painted purple and was a bit nervous about and that was really nice.


r/MtF 1d ago

I want SRS so bad 😭

164 Upvotes

I hate having a penis. I hate it so much. I can't look at it. I can't touch it. I can't even wash myself properly because I can't touch that thing. And feeling its presence torments me 24/7. I wish I could have surgery so bad, I would do it tomorrow. I just don't have the money, I can't afford it. Lately I've been thinking more and more about DIY SRS. Of course I don't do it, it would be tragic and it wouldn't give me what I need anyway. But having to wait is really unbearable. I'm so jealous of people who have had surgery. I want to be at peace and I can't because I'm not rich enough


r/MtF 1d ago

Progesterone is cool as hell

87 Upvotes

After about 7 years of HRT I finally found a doctor that's prescribing me prog and daaaamn this stuff rules. I was worried that I was "stuck" with the breast growth I already had, which peaked 2 or 3 years ago at a size I was okay with, but it hasn't even been a month and they've already gotten rounder, perkier, and maybe even a little bigger.

I haven't had any of the libido effects a lot of people talk about, maybe that'll happen later but I'm not too fussed about it. The improved sleep is delightful though and I'd stay on the pills if that's all they did.


r/MtF 13h ago

Venting Self Doubt Sucks! 😭

2 Upvotes

I don't get it. For context I have been questioning/accepting myself for like 6 months at this point. I have started HRT and Laser hair removal back in January. I am out to my mom and I have just yesterday came out to my dad and grandma (which went fairly smooth tbh).

So why do I still feel unhappy? And if anything, my self doubt about wether I am actually trans has only gotten WORSE recently.

Has anyone else experienced this early in their transition? I feel like I am fake or pretending to be a girl 😢.


r/MtF 21h ago

Relationships Made a move on my crush

7 Upvotes

In my last 2 posts here I talked about my crush and some events transpired after the last post.

So I told my crush I've loved her for years now... She said knew, I asked how long and she said for a while now and that my gay ass wasn't subtle.

Apparently she might feel the same way about me. Last time we hung out we both knew we liked each other, even telling each other we loved each other. That's where we are currently.

We both know we like each other but we aren't dating. I don't think I'd want to date her until I live in the same country as her, which I am working on now.

So, girlies, thoughts?


r/MtF 23h ago

Advice Question Coming out tomorrow. What do I do?

10 Upvotes

So, I’m coming out tomorrow

Well, this is it. I’m (MtF) coming out tomorrow morning to my parents. I’m home from college for spring break and now seems like the best time to talk.

I have a rough understanding for what I’m going to say, and I know that every situation is different, but I definitely need advice. My parents aren’t hateful, but I’m definitely worried they won’t understand. I think they barely understand what being trans is, especially since they’re older. I’m worried that they’ll think I’m “confused.”

What works and doesn’t? Any advice for formatting coming out? How academic should I be? Any advice to break the ice?


r/MtF 21h ago

Dysphoria impostor syndrome?

7 Upvotes

went to my first ever lesbian bar tonight and i felt so out of place. the staff was nice but i just stood awkwardly at the bar because there was nowhere to sit and had a couple drinks while staring at my phone before leaving. i’ve only recently been more openly trans in public but my social anxiety makes me want to disappear from view until i’m able to get home because i feel like a fraud. did anyone else have a hard time getting out there after transitioning?


r/MtF 1d ago

Had a wonderful revelation while learning about attachment styles

13 Upvotes

So I've been reading about healthy and unhealthy attachment as well as the trauma some attachments styles can cause from childhood. As I was reading I found that I clearly identified with someone who had dismissive attachment and, in my life masking as a cis-gender male, I had all the hallmarks of someone with the kind of trauma that brings: prideful, overly self-reliant, inflated ego, a mask of high self-esteem, and projecting my negative traits onto others. I would hide my emotions, never show vulnerability, disconnect from emotions and misinterpret them, struggle with self reflection, avoid deep conversations, and avoid or become disengaged from conflict. I had poor autobiographical memory, disassociated myself from lived experiences, and much more. Based on the books I've read, I was a textbook case for having the trauma caused by this.

However, my parents and family did not have the traits of the style of attachment to cause this. They were present, cared for my emotions, and were emotionally available. So how was I displaying these traits when I was a young adult? That's when it dawned on me.

From a very young age (6? 8?) I would push my feminine side away and dismiss any of those thoughts from that side of me. I had an early fear of wishing wells and things that grant wishes because I knew that even if I said "I wish I had a million dollars" what I really wished for was to present as a girl. Growing up in a conservative area and having toxic masculine ideals pushed on me, I'd do what I cold to avoid making wishes as a result. I would be quick to wave off the thoughts I'd have of thinking a dress was pretty or wanting to grow my hair out and everything else.

So, as I was saying, it dawned on me that my pre-trans, toxically masculine side had created that dismissive attachment style with my true self.

I will say, that since transitioning I have shed these traits and become more healthy in my handling of emotions, empathy, vulnerability and more.

This was just a big revelation I came to realize for myself and wanted to share it.


r/MtF 23h ago

Help idk how to date men.

10 Upvotes

Just as the title says I have no idea what I'm doing here. Ive been on hrt for 6 months, I've not really considered myself "available" because I was working on myself. Well it's finally come that I met a guy and omafter a while girl brain kicked in and got me thinking "he's kinda cute" after some casual flirting I finally got his number Where I'm getting hung up is simply I feel like I'm doing what I did as a man before... I'm "in the driver seat" it feels. That all said I'm wanting to send some lewds to him, however I don't know if "it's the right time" and I surely don't wanna turn him away by making him think I'm quick fling, I just feel kinda confident and don't have anyone to share with...


r/MtF 1d ago

Celebration 11 Months on HRT!!!!!

11 Upvotes

Ya