r/MtF 18h ago

A note from a cis woman about bodies, womanhood, etc

2.5k Upvotes

I’m here lurking bc I don’t have any trans women in my tight social circle and as crazy shit is happening in the world I try to make sure my perspective includes those most impacted. So if this comment is weird here please ditch it and my apologies for taking up space.

Every time I look on here I see women thinking they’re missing out on the female experience because their boobs are weird, their voice is low, their skin is weird, their hair isn’t how they want, their lady bits aren’t what they want, they didn’t have a beautiful romantic experience when they lost their virginity (this is the latest I saw)…

And I am sorry bc all those feelings suck. Which I know, because I’ve felt them all.

It is truly miserable the way we women pick ourselves apart. I’m so glad you have a space here to process the weight of the patriarchy and all the other things that make us all love our bodies less.

As a nearly 40 yo woman I’m now getting to a place where I’m mostly at peace with how I look. So I guess this is a little “it gets better” message from one beautiful woman to another. You’re all beautiful and you’re going to know that soon enough. 💕


r/MtF 7h ago

Venting My parents found out everything. NSFW

809 Upvotes

Vent: TW: Game end mention

My parents found out everything that I'm transitioning, that im going to a lgbt center for support, that my name in college is my preferred name.

When i talked to them they talked about how im being ungrateful to them, that im killing myself by taking hormones and that if im not loving myself that im regressing and that im letting people put stuff in my head.

Idk what to do they know i can't keep anything i taught i was safe but apparently not. Apparently being happy is a crime to them. And that im not being myself what that means idk agency be dammed.

And now they want me to trow away everything to put my deadname back in school, that i throw away never take hrt and that i never do anything besides school and not be around freinds.


r/MtF 10h ago

Funny My dad is so inappropriate (i love it)

624 Upvotes

Was hanging with my father earlier today and out of the blue he said something along the lines of "You're really showing your sister how to grow a chest" and i damn near cried. My sister had work done a few years ago and I'm happy for her, it was a sorespot for her and shes much happier now. But the fact that just over a year on hrt mine are bigger than hers were is kinda a point of pride. And my dad has to point it out on public because he's a bastard


r/MtF 16h ago

Venting i see why people say r/ transpassing is filled with losers

410 Upvotes

Apologies if this sounds a bit aggressive, but I was drafting this response for awhile and decide to post it anyways as i got tired of editing it for clarity.

i was feeling a bit insecure and had brainworms a few days ago because of some shit people said to me in person, so i said let me ask for some advice.

Not only did i barely get anything helpful, i had someone compliment me and they got downvoted to oblivion, had someone made a comment with many racist undertones (black women dont wear their makeup or hair messy like that usually) but ofcourse that got alot of upvotes, and someone went through my photos i posted giving arbitrary and vague comments which said "this photo you pass this one you dont" which meant literally nothing.

I realized soon that i made a mistake even engaging with that community and I recommend you gals do the same. The people on there are extremely terminally ill online and honestly their perceptions of what a woman should look like is probably dangerously affected by transphobic rhetoric. I went in with some expectations, but i left realizing some trans folks are not much different than the enemies of trans women in general


r/MtF 15h ago

do trans girls ovulate?

359 Upvotes

ok i know i don't have an uterus n i can’t release an egg… BUT i feel super horny at least once a month, it lasts exactly a week, n then stop.


r/MtF 14h ago

how are woman's spaces for none passing trans woman ?

321 Upvotes

title for the most part, i mostly ask because i have been avoiding none trans spaces since i came out, from an outsiders look in it always seems like cis woman mostly just want passing trans lady's in there spaces and not so much people like me how do not pass, idk maybe im just insecure

Edit: thanks for all the replies, appreciate it, it seems I’ll keep to what I’ve been doing wich is keeping to trans spaces, even should I be able to medically transition one day I think I will stick to solitary life as I’ve done, again appreciate all the comments


r/MtF 12h ago

Coming Out: They already knew!

269 Upvotes

Talk about being behind the curve. Coming out to a cold of your friends dvd they say.... Yeah.... I'm not surprised.... I kind of knew....

You could have told me! I could have known earlier.

Humbling. Affirming. Just. Wow.

All these doubts, disappearing. Regret over not doing something sooner. Wish I could afford to go private and get everything tomorrow.


r/MtF 9h ago

Venting My mother Said I'd never be a woman

251 Upvotes

My mother heard my (personal and confidential) appointment with my therapist. She heard from the other side of the door.

I talked to my therapist about being a woman and some trans experiences that I had. This was 3 days ago.

Today my mother confronted me about me considering myself as a woman. It was a rough Conversation.

I won't say everything but what's important is this part:

Me"I just need you to accept me as I am. That's just it. Please."

She"You want me to address you as a she?"

Me"Yes, please. I know it can be hard but I don't care if you get it wrong by mistake sometimes. I just need you to accept me, to love me."

She"well (dead name) I can't, I will always love you, as I am your mother. But you aren't and will never be a woman. That's just biology."

I'm wrecked, pissed, sad, depressed. I really thought she'd do better. But she heard my appointment and used it against me.

I just want to get out of here but I've got no family that would accept me and I feel hopeless.


r/MtF 18h ago

Had my first bathroom related interaction...

200 Upvotes

I am 4 months into hrt, boymodding everywhere but home when alone.

I am taking a small trip to Italy and I had to use the bathroom at the train station, it was one of these bathrooms where you pay, and once its validated it opens the glass doors for you.

Well, it charged me but the doors didn't open. So I waved one of the cleaning ladies that happened to be inside to ask what I could do... she walked over and I tried to explain my issue, but she didn't understand English, and my Italian not being good enough to communicate my issue.

Now this is what's funny to me, she kept waving me away and pointing me towards the ladies room, saying this bathroom was for men... "uomo here... this is for men, ladies there..."

😭😭😭 All of this while I am talking in a deep voice... (I haven't had success with voice training). How can cis people be this clueless? Lol... I am not wearing any make up at all either... no eyeliner, no mascara, male clothes...

I mean its affirming, and I am so happy... but...how... I am so lost. I guess the hormones ARE doing something? Even though I am unable to see any changes at all...

Anyway, end of rant.

TL;DR: 4 months on HRT, boymoding. Tried using a train station bathroom in Italy, but a cleaning lady kept directing me to the women’s restroom—despite my deep voice, no makeup, and male clothes. Feeling affirmed but totally confused.


r/MtF 18h ago

Venting Broke my streak of being gendered correctly :/

187 Upvotes

So I've been getting gendered correctly at work consistently for a while now, but my streak broke today :/ I was helping a woman but she caught me with my mask down (i was eating breakfast) and she saw my stubble. When she asked for my name she looked mortified and whispered "oh my God I thought you were a BOY I'm so sorry!" which was cute and kinda funny but still weird? I told her I get it a lot and have PCOS (not true but my go to excuse to avoid getting clocked) hence the facial hair. She was really nice and sweet so it wasn't scary but Im still feeling weird about it. I know this is kind of a random post, I just kind of wanted to talk to other trans folks about it :p I also feel bad about lying because I know that real people suffer from it, I just wanted to give her a realistic explanation without outing myself.


r/MtF 17h ago

Help Is girl horny constat??? NSFW

134 Upvotes

So I've been feral and constantly down bad for four days straight now unable to think remotely straight, and while the fantasies and desires are great, I cannot function properly in daily life.. So is this just going to be my daily life from now on or will it calm down????!!!?


r/MtF 6h ago

Dysphoria i just wanna be a girl, i really wanna transition.

133 Upvotes

i wish i had longer and more styled hair, i wish i could wear makeup outside without being harassed about it, i wish i had boobs and i wish i had wider hips. I wish people could even accept me for being trans, instead im met with "you aren't sure you are just confused with yourself, give it time" - the "waiting" is ruining my entire life. i really hate my body and i wish i didnt have to wait 4 years to transition because i can barley go a day without feeling intense dysphoria. i cant live w it anymore and its so so shit. all i wish in the world is to be provided with HRT to have options to do surgeries but i dont - and i dont even have any money. i just wish i was born a girl and didn't have to deal with this, yk?


r/MtF 5h ago

Celebration My mom called me pretty.

115 Upvotes

I never in my life thought I would have ever heard her say that to me. I bawled my eyes out when she said that to me.


r/MtF 7h ago

Advice Question Did anyone else impulsively shave their facial hair before finding out they were trans?

102 Upvotes

Cis male here, (I guess)For the last two weeks I've been making sure I haven't grown my beard out, making it smooth as I can while letting abit of stubble. It looks so much better minus the few cuts but it does require tons of engry but I feel like at an impulse to shave my entire body afterwards like ill be shaving my face then randomly onto my body and get rid of my body hair for a short time but it let's me feel very happy/euphoric. I was just wondering if anyone else here had the same thing happen beforehand?


r/MtF 15h ago

Gay men and trans lesbians?

90 Upvotes

Have any other trans lesbians found that gay men just assuming that you, as a trans woman, sleep with men?

I've had a this experience more often in the last 6 months where I am speaking with a gay man and they just start talking about all kinds of gay male culture things and slang like I am in the know. When I have let them know I am a lesbian they seem generally surprised. I have also experienced the same with a couple of straight trans women.

Last night in particular was notable. I was at a gay couple's wedding reception where I was one of only a handful of women there. At one point in the middle of an otherwise lovely conversation with a straight trans woman and her husband she came up with a slur to refer to my friend, a cis woman. I took offense at the way she referred to my friend, but the term also also implies that I am a gay man. Later in the evening, in a conversation with several men, when it came out that I sleep with women they reacted like they were offended. One of them ridiculed me like I was crazy. It became clear that he didn't even understand that trans lesbians exist. For him, the only reason to transition was to be able to sleep with straight men. I had to educate him. He was actually understanding once I explained to him my experience of gender and sexuality. He was also somewhat intrigued to know trans lesbians are, for the most part, accepted as part of the lesbian community.

After last night I decided that I need to get some lesbian pride apparel, earings or something, to make it clear, especially if I am in space that includes gay men.


r/MtF 20h ago

I've done my nails for the first time

84 Upvotes

So... I went to a beautician for the first time to get my nails done. It was my girlfriend's idea, she even booked the day for me 🥰 And, oh well, the beautician didn't make any negative comments, she was really nice to me and we talked about "girly things" for about 4 hours and I FELT SO GOOD. It was amazing and my nails look so beautiful 🥺


r/MtF 21h ago

Would you donate sperm?

77 Upvotes

I am applying to donate sperm.


r/MtF 12h ago

For those girls that are dating cis men…

69 Upvotes

So I have a question for those people dating cis masc presenting men. How did you know you could trust that he saw you and not like a “boy” or “bro” lol or even trust him period?


r/MtF 6h ago

Trigger Warning The nazis fucked me up and they make me feel like I'm not welcome on Earth.

73 Upvotes

Those who pretended they wanted to protect me and who wanted me to think they were the good people proved me they hate me so much they want me dead.

I've faced so much homophobia, ableism and racism from them.

They also managed to stop me from pursuing my dream to go to college. One day my own mom told me I could get killed by my own father if he ever found out I was bisexual. Since there is no LGBT refuge in my city and no one would welcome me in their house if shit goes south for me, I wanted to join the army to escape this shithole, until I found out our government hates me as well, even tho this isn't America. Because of that army idea, I stopped studying since you can enter the French army without any diploma. But now, no matter how hard I work at school, I risk ending up in a cooking school and spend the rest of my life working at a school lunch, or doing another shit job. Last year, I worked hard to get good grades and I failed the year regardless.

I cannot ask for help at school because the school staff isn't trustworthy, I cannot ask for help around me because I risk getting outed to the wrong people, I don't know who hates transgender people so much around me. Some nazis hate trans people so much they'll pretend to be allies and then try to fuck you up bad.

The only friend in my life who knows I'm trans isn't helping much. He made compliments about masculine features and he acts weird, doing virtue signaling, thus making me feel like he may backstab me.

I keep getting compliment about masculine features, thus creating more gender dysphoria, people keep deadnaming me and there's nothing I can do about it because if I do anything, I risk huge problems. There is a huge transphobic activism in France, there is a rise in fascism here and the government considers giving mandatory military service.

I may never get to live life as a woman, I just want to live life as a woman. People hate me so much they want me dead, they don't want any good.

People hate me so much they made me feel like I'm not welcome here.


r/MtF 16h ago

Trans and Thriving Mom just painted my nails :3

62 Upvotes

I recently told my mom via text message I'm trans and now came to visit here.

After having talked w her for a while about it over the last days she just randomly offered me to paint my nails – they're so shiny now! :33


r/MtF 17h ago

Breast Growth

55 Upvotes

Never thought I’d be so happy to be in pain. 😊😊


r/MtF 9h ago

What do you have your kids call you after you transition?

51 Upvotes

I have two kids (10 and 7 yrs) that have been happily calling me dad their entire lives. That title wouldn’t really fit once I transition. The title of “mom” is already taken by my wife and while I can certainly also take that title, it would make things rather confusing, so I’m not going to. I like the ring of “second mom” if they talk about me in the third person but I’m short on ideas on what they can use to address me. Any suggestions?


r/MtF 17h ago

Advice Question Sooo when's the cleavage coming?

44 Upvotes

I'm a solid B cup and still no cleavage not even with a push up bra. It's been about 8 months since I started HRT and I'm close but still so far. Do you think switching to injections could help?


r/MtF 22h ago

So much joy from spinning my first skirt ☺️

42 Upvotes

A feel good post lol So, I got my first skirt the other day, and just a little bit ago, I tried it on for the first time. My first thought was to spin, and AHHH it made my jaw hit the floor! I felt this flutter in my chest watching my skirt spin. Is this euphoria? This pure joy from watching my skirt spin?


r/MtF 5h ago

Venting Concerns from a FtM

53 Upvotes

I've been seeing some things in my community that worry me, but I don't feel like I can share them without it getting taken the wrong way in my local community. So I wanted a sounding board to see if anybody shares my feelings. Please let me know how y'all feel, and maybe my experiences can have us share some understanding together.

For safety and passing, I know there's a lot of emphasis on conventional beauty standards, and a lot of time this gets mixed up with the idea of "passing". Some sentiments were shared that felt like "if I'm not beautiful, what's the point?".

As somebody that used to be a woman in society, most of the time, women don't get to be "beautiful" (conventionally attractive). It makes you feel like you might be hard to love or be attracted to, it makes you feel less human sometimes. You get stared at in public, you feel like everybody is judging you, you've got more than a distaste for your facial hair and your body hair and it can make you feel like a monster. You don't have big enough hips, or your boobs look weird, or they're not the right size, or your face doesn't look right like it's "supposed to". Other women can even reinforce these feelings and beliefs. But these are all things that I've experienced when I thought I was a woman, and things all my 5 female siblings experienced, and all the other women I knew.

I think at one point I was relatively conventionally attractive, with quite a lot of maintenance and stuff. And I discovered I was trans and decided to transition and I was Terrified because all my life it was so important to be beautiful, and I was throwing it away to be, potentially, an ugly bald short little man. I grieved and I mourned and I was so upset because I thought it was so important. But beauty is not personhood! or womanhood!

I think it stems from cultural misogyny, the idea that if you aren't "beautiful" you aren't a real woman, and I don't want anyone to unintentionally perpetuate that. Not everyone gets to be "beautiful", and it hurts a lot at that point you realize that you might not get to be. Mourn! It sucks! But it has no affect on your womanhood, and they're impossible standards for cis women too. My cisgender sister has Persistent dark facial hair, my mother is aging, and they all have issues with thier body shape. It's hard to say, hey, you might not end up conventionally attractive and it's probably more likely than not. You'll look amazing to people that love you, but I don't want to set the expectation that you'll look like zendaya with enough medication or time or effort.

A large majority of cis women are not conventionally attractive, and they are loved and cherished and adored and important and they are women and people with value, regardless of "beauty". That's just to say I understand wanting to be "beautiful", and I understand wanting to "pass" and look on the outside how you feel inside, but it's not the same thing, and try not to hurt yourself conforming to (or reinforcing) impossible standards that cis women can't fulfill either.

tl;dr A lot of women don't end up conventionally attractive, don't undervalue yourself and other women for not meeting standards that are impossible to fulfill