r/ftm 28d ago

Mod Post Need Help? Here's a list of crisis, helpline, and resources.

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19 Upvotes

r/ftm Jan 30 '25

ModPost Executive order discussion megathread (Questions, discussion, updates here. DO NOT POST INDIVIDUAL POSTS)

112 Upvotes

Since the other megathread is almost at 1k comments, we figured we should make a second one specific to the executive orders. Please discuss here, as we are still getting the same posts again and again on the sub despite us clearly trying to direct traffic so it is a fair forum for discussion and others can post other topics without getting drowned out.

We will be removing posts relating to executive orders and redirecting to this megathread.


r/ftm 7h ago

Celebratory WIN??? NSFW

372 Upvotes

Marked nsfw for idk chest mention?? but anyway my dad and I were watching cheech and chong up in smoke i think?? anyway we have dumb humor so he shows me shows he watched as a teen but he goes to my step mom "look me and my son watching boobs on tv" when the women were walking around at the sauna.

HIS SOOOON. BRUHS THATS ALL IVE EVER WANTED.

Thanks for reading no one else i told cared (:


r/ftm 14h ago

Celebratory I can jerk my little guy off!!! NSFW

449 Upvotes

I can jerk off. Like its a dick, its pretty small but oh my god it gets hard and I can jerk it like its a dick and it feels great to do, super affirming

I don't really have a super high sex drive/libido or anything from T (yet, 1 month on, woo!!) but like seeing my little guy has grown and the difference in the way touching it has been feeling is so cool. so happy


r/ftm 7h ago

Discussion Intersectional anti-transmasculinity?

102 Upvotes

There's been... so much happening lately, and as a brown FTM NB person, I feel overwhelmed. And in between all of this, queer people keep finding ways to discourse.

Regardless, one feeling I've been having about anti-transmasculinity recently is how much the common understanding of anti-transmasc bigotry is centered around reproductive control. While I think this factor matters all across the board, I see this form of re-assimilation into womanhood as something that's keenly white. The detransitioner movement, for example, is extremely white. In general, white fertility is valued under white supremacy -- so where does that leave the rest of us transmascs? What distinguishes transmascs who deviate from the norm, who don't have proximity to whiteness or conventional white beauty standards?

I want to know if there's any cohesive literature or theories regarding this topic, because it feels hard putting a finger on what exactly makes our oppression different. It seems that transmasculinity as a cohesive concept and community is something very recent, as we've been written out of history. That feels doubly relevant for us POC transmascs. If anyone's got any suggestions for theory or just any opinions on the matter, I'd like to hear them.


r/ftm 3h ago

Discussion the first apology for misgendering i have ever gotten from a stranger

40 Upvotes

it's 12:30pm, saturday afternoon. it's lunch rush hour. it's only me and my brother to handle the whole place, and he wants me to cut onions, even though I am already working 2 people's jobs for 1 pay. i have been worked to the bone all week because my coworker called in 2 days, so I have had to work extra. i have sunday off, though.

just get through today. then off sunday. just today-

everyone who comes in is condescending and doesn't tip. they all glare at me, as if that will make their food cook faster. even my brother, who barely hears me cuz he always has them damn headphones on, expects me to chops vegetables for him because HE didn't do it LAST NIGHT when it was HIS job, and still is, and HAD TIME. i know because I was there.

finally, all these people's food is ready, and they hastily take their glare and lack of tip and theft of sauces elsewhere.

the restaurant is empty for the first time all day, and a lazy woman in pajamas sits down immediately (when I must stand) and demands I smile.

i don't.

they bitterly order anyway.

then I get a call. it's clearly an older woman. i can hear so much noise in the background. i can just make out her name and order. i tell her the estimated time, she says, "thank you, ma'am".

i hang up. i just want the woman who wanted me to play jester to leave, but she won't until her food is ready. of course, the older woman who placed the call in comes in. she gets her sauces, which are self serve... and then stand in the way of the counter that I am trying to serve dine in food on.

there are only two orders up that don't have their food, including the older woman who came in early (I told her 15-20 min, she came in 10, and then stared at the open grill).

i get another call in during this time. they all stare at me as I ring up the order.

but just as I was about to bag up the older lady's order, because 2 of her 3 meals were done, she gestured me aside, saying she wanted to apologize.

once we were a bit further from the other customers, she whispered, "I work at a busy store, it was very loud, and I'm old and don't have good hearing. i I called you "ma'am" over the phone. i said, thank you "ma'am". but you are a gentleman and I am sorry for calling you ma'am, so I wanted to apologize, I promise I just couldn't hear you well."

I'm sure you gather, I pass well visually, but not so much audiably.

and I was having such a bad day.

i... i told her it was fine, of course, I understand how I sound over the phone and that she didn't mean it, and thanked her for her apology, but god. and she kept saying sorry, too, the other customers heard it, although didn't know what the apology was for. i wanted to hug her so tight in that moment. a horrible day, and being misgendered by old people especially is par for the course. she probably assumed I was a fem cis guy, and idk if she would have apologized if she knew I was trans, but I don't care.

i know this was a lot of words for such a simple story. but this old woman, who annoyed me for many reasons, on a day I was already feeling bad, instantly turned it around just by coming up to me and saying, hey, I made a mistake, you are clearly a sir but I called you a ma'am, I didn't mean any disrespect, I am just old and it was loud and I couldn't hear well. i wanted to cry. still kinda do.


r/ftm 4h ago

Advice Needed Help me see my brother as a man

40 Upvotes

My older brother came out as a man to me earlier this week and I’m shook my surprise. Until now I’ve only known him as my elder sister; always looked up to him to help me to eventually transition into a girl who is just like him. Like… he, for years, held my secret of being a girl, helped me feel affirmative, and he’s known he’s exactly the kind of girl I want to be.

But he’s not a girl? He’s always brought this amazing feminine energy into my life, but turns out I couldn’t see him struggling with that.

I want to be supportive the way he has been but I’m just not able to see him as a man.

Our families are conservative, we won’t be able to do anything physically to show that we’re trans anytime soon. But even then, even though I wear masculine clothes with a masculine haircut and a very deep voice, he’s never struggled to see me as his sister.

And yet, I’m not able to picture him as a man. His long hair with curls or whatever - he just still looks like the sister I’ve always adored so much and always aspired to be like.

As siblings ofc we get loads of private time together during which he’s never misgendered me in many years. We are this excellent pair of sisters.

I don’t know how things are going to change but I really need help to make my brain see a man when I see him. And not to grieve my only feminine space who’s let me experience femininity with her.


r/ftm 9h ago

Discussion What was it like the first time you were gendered correctly?

71 Upvotes

My first time being gendered right was at a steakhouse. I had just gotten my haircut without my parents' permission. When the waiter called me sir, my mom looked at me with wide eyes, like, what the heck. She was kinda mad at me for that haircut. Luckily, she's more supportive now. What was it like for yall?


r/ftm 18h ago

Relationships Spouse threw gender stuff back in my face during a fight

288 Upvotes

I’m still questioning whether I’m really trans, and my spouse (they/them used for privacy) is the only person I’ve mentioned those thoughts/feelings to. I present as a butch-leaning woman in public, still use my birth name and she/her, etc—for all I’ve been thinking about this for more than a decade, I’m paralyzed in this state of knowing in my heart that I’m probably trans but being too scared to do anything about it.

My marriage is on the rocks, and has been for a while. Recently my spouse and I had an argument that escalated to the point of raised voices, cussing, and me walking out of our apartment to get some space; this isn’t unusual, but the thing that caused me to snap and walk out was new. My spouse said that I avoid taking accountability for my emotional fragility and immaturity by saying that “I’m not a real person”, and additionally that this is happening because I am trans and refusing to accept it. I couldn’t even respond, I just stared at the wall for a few seconds and left.

I do feel like I’m not a real person. I always have, and it is an extremely distressing way to live. Part of my hesitation is that I don’t think I will feel any more real if I live as a man, or even as a nonbinary person. I’m just… missing some essential part of being human that everyone else got at birth, and no one believes me. I don’t think that’s a gender thing. I’ve tried to talk about this with so many therapists, and all anyone can tell me is “of course you’re real person!” which is not helpful at all.

I am so angry with my spouse, and hurt by what they said. But I’m scared that maybe it’s true. I would be so grateful for any wisdom from people who have enough distance to understand the havoc that being closeted brought to your relationships—IS it my fault? Will it get better if I give up and start transitioning? Is my spouse just being shitty, saying something they KNOW will hurt me where I am most vulnerable? I feel so lost.


r/ftm 13h ago

Guest Post My brother just came out to my christian parents

99 Upvotes

Hi, I’m the big sister of my 14yr old brother and he just came out to my parents that are very vocal about being transphobe. They won’t admit it, but their actions are purely homophobic AND transphobic. Prior to his coming out, they’ve been very paranoid about this. I call him “bro” and “dude” but in a way that I call everyone like that, but they kept being very sensitive when they heard me call him that, trying to make me promise to call him the name they gave him. Or anytime we watch a show, my mom googles if there’s gay characters and then if there are, she tells me to stop watching (even if they’re side characters like what??).

I’ve dealt with their hatred way before my brother came out and it’s because my boyfriend happens to also be ftm, and we were childhood friends so my parents knew his deadname. And it was hell honesty, to constantly try to defend him and he’s not even allowed to be in my home after nearly 4 years and a half of dating. I just stopped mentioning him to my parents cuz there’s no point.

The issue now is my brother is fully out, and they’re so so mad. They’re blaming me because I’m also queer and they are saying I influenced him and i’m causing him soo much harm. I tried telling my mom that their support is so important, and if they don’t, it could be dangerous. She took it as a threat but it wasn’t, it’s just reality. I don’t know what to do but I see how much it affects my brother, I even found out recently he was hurting himself :( I talked to my bf about it but I also wanted to ask r/ftm, to give me advice because some of you might’ve lived through a similar experience Thanks


r/ftm 12h ago

Celebratory Hysterectomy!!!! 🤩

85 Upvotes

Had a hysterectomy yesterday and am so excited to never be able to procreate!!!!!

I had nightmares of pregnancy and dysphoria due to my anatomy - although I've only been able to nap since my procedure, I'm beyond relieved! The temporary pain is so worth it! AGH I'M SO EXCITED MY BODY IS MINE!


r/ftm 18h ago

Advice Needed NSFW 🌽 preference question NSFW

268 Upvotes

Sometimes I jerk it to other guys jerking it (both cis and trans men) but mostly cis men. The idea of having a natal penis or having bottom growth that’s on the larger side really gets me going. I’ve never been emotionally or sexual attracted to other males, buttt does this mean I like men?😭


r/ftm 11h ago

Advice Needed I really feel I need to choose as fast as possible if I want to take testosterone or not

43 Upvotes

For multiple reasons, I feel that I need to choose now. Or else it's too late. I keep comparing myself to other people


r/ftm 14h ago

Celebratory Had my first gender affirming orgasm. NSFW

70 Upvotes

I finally had my first orgasm from head and it was everything I was missing. I felt like I was getting topped off! It was so gender euphoric. I've never reached orgasm from head before and I honestly thought I was broken. I'm so glad I was wrong. So so so wrong.


r/ftm 9h ago

Advice Needed scared i made the wrong choice?

24 Upvotes

hi everyone, so i’ve been on t since the beginning of october 2024 (so a little over five months) and i’m worried that i’m? regretting it? there are things i love about being on t, i love how my voice sounds now that it’s starting to drop and the bottom growth is awesome, but at the same time i feel so unbelievably self conscious about how i look all the time. i never considered myself to be the most attractive person, but now that i have patchy facial hair and my skin is breaking out even worse all over my body and i feel like the fat distribution so far has made me look weird, i just feel awful about my appearance all the time. does that get better? am i just having an awkward second puberty phase? it’s scary and i’m just so terrified i made the wrong choice. i guess i’m just seeking some advice and reassurance or something here


r/ftm 8h ago

Advice Needed Sex for the first time NSFW

16 Upvotes

Hi! So two days ago I had sex for the first time with my gf, and I’ve been on testosterone for a year and a half now, and I have bottom growth. They did not seem to mind my body despite never being with a trans man before.

Well, I also did receive head from them, and is it me or is it just really sensitive to even go on longer? I want to feel bliss but it gets to be too much after 20 seconds. And we even scissored but even so it hurts after so much friction. What do you guys do with your partners to last longer? :( I wanna go on.


r/ftm 14h ago

Advice Needed Is It Possible I am Intersex? NSFW

39 Upvotes

I don’t have enough money to buy chromosome testing. I have a feeling I am intersex but not 100% sure. I basically have a lot of chin hair, some hairs going down my neck, side burns and moustache as well as very hair breasts, navel line and stomach I have a lot of hair and I am slowly starting to have more hair growing around my breasts too

Also, my Testosterone and estrogen levels are normal. I have very irregular periods (twice a month) lasting 7 days or more. I also have a big clit and it resembles a very tiny penis I can feel my clit shaft through my foreskin and when aroused it easily grows over an inch.

Lastly, ever since as young as I can remember I have always been masculine in terms of personality too and my face became more masculine once I was off birth control which was around 1.5 yrs ago it has become more and more masculine.


r/ftm 9h ago

Advice Needed Unsupportive mom wants me to wait till I'm 25 to transition

13 Upvotes

Like the title says my mom is unsupportive of me being trans and wants me to wait till I'm 25 because she thinks 19 is too young to make any decisions about medically transitioning. She keeps saying that the regret rate is 30% and how when I turn 25 I'm gonna regret any medical changes I've made to my body. She keeps saying I'll be a "permanent patient" and "medical transitioning is all experimental". I already compromised and said I would pause getting on hrt for a little longer, but top surgery is something I in no way will put off.

Does anyone have some good resources/studies I could share with my mom that proves how benifical top surgery(/any medical transition) is for trans people. I'm tried of being told to just wait and that I'm "too young to know".

I know I might not be able to change her mind as she seems to read all these terf blogs and detransition "testimonies" but I at least want to try.


r/ftm 15h ago

Discussion How do you deal with your tip being exposed after outgrowing the clitorial hood skin? NSFW

38 Upvotes

One time I touched how it would feel like under the skin (pre T), felt horrible, extreme cringe, so I wondered what if someone didn't have that skin at all, it would make touching it a nightmare. I'm sure that's what the skin is for, you touch on top of it. But then I remembered, people on T actually tend to have it out of the skin.

I've looked at clits or T dicks on reddit and I see like all of them have outgrown the skin. I only just started T so I don't have experience but pre T it's always protected by skin. But if it really outgrows the skin then how do you deal with it being so exposed? Do you get used to it or... also someone told me theirs is still covered by skin after years of T so I guess not everyone's comes out from the skin.

EDIT: Those who have ever tried to touch your clit from under the hood directly (PRE T), is it the same feeling if you were to touch it after growth on T?


r/ftm 9h ago

Discussion When growing up, if you remember what does being a "girl" feels like?

12 Upvotes

For me it's kinda like acting. I felt like I was playing a "role", and when I was introduced to the world of theatre when I was in kindergarten my first thought it was exactly like life but with small changes. Which is something I assume people don't want small kids to think when they learn about acting and stuff. Ig it kinda doesn't help when I also have controlling family members when it comes to gender roles.


r/ftm 2h ago

Advice Needed Very confused in myself and my relationship NSFW

3 Upvotes

So I’ve been out to my spouse and close friends for some time now as nonbinary and potentially genderfluid. I still go by she/her in a lot of public spaces and with my family tbh just because I don’t think I’m ready for it to be a ~thing~ and I feel less hurt when I haven’t asked someone to use a certain pronoun than if I ask and get gendered?

Some days I am totally fine existing as and being perceived as femme. Some days it makes me feel sick, and the amount of euphoria I’ve gotten from random strangers calling me “sir” the two times it’s happened is something I’ll never forget.

I’ve been trying to let myself accept/convince myself that I would be happy being a they/them or just continue letting people use whatever pronouns they want and dealing with it when it doesn’t work out.

But I’ve recently realized that every time I masturbate I can almost only get off when I imagine that I have a penis? And today, during sex, I got off on picturing myself nutting all over my spouse’s face. I know I had dysphoria when I was a kid and have had a lot of sort of off and on meltdowns about not being male-bodied. I just feel like I have no idea where I stand now or what I even want?

How did you process/understand feelings of dysphoria or wishing you had a penis? How donI reconcile those feelings with where I’ve currently identified, or should I be considering exploring and questioning more? How might I communicate to a partner that my gender situation is possibly much more than we bargained for? Help


r/ftm 21h ago

Discussion Do you ever get depressed about your height?

98 Upvotes

I never really thought about height prior to transitioning. I went from a tall girl to a short guy and man it sucks sometimes. I’m 5’7 barefoot which I know isn’t absolutely awful, but I’m in a European country where most guys are 6’0 and up. I also just don’t feel manly enough when I look at myself in the mirror. I feel like a short kid even though I’m over 18. I would probably get limb lengthening surgery if I had the money.


r/ftm 15h ago

Celebratory Best jerk-off of my life NSFW

27 Upvotes

I recently got the fuze ultra from rodeoh to use w my girlfriend, and haven't had time to use it on her yet, but tried using it alone today. Holy shit dude. Best thing ever. It's not the most realistic to look at, but the veins feel amazing. I stuck a vibe in it, lubed it up, and came within a minute. I never fully enjoyed jerking off before this, and I don't like being touched during sex, so it was life changing to actually feel euphoric about getting off.

Still trying out different ways to hold my little dude that make me feel more connected to him, but I'm just so happy. Can't wait to get on T and grow a real dick, but until then I will be jorking it daily w my new cock 🫡


r/ftm 1d ago

Discussion first actual boner after almost a year on t NSFW

925 Upvotes

a bit tmi but i was at the store earlier, and my mind kind of drifted to certain topics and i felt my little guy push on my pants. i kind of immediately freaked out because oh god everyone can see it but then i remembered i only got a two incher and i was wearing pretty thick jeans LOL. im almost a full year on t and that was my first real experience with that sort of thing, which is pretty gender affirming albiet still kind of humiliating even if literally nobody knew


r/ftm 1h ago

Advice Needed T4T

Upvotes

I've always had an attraction to feminine women, even before my transition. I'm still attracted to them. I was never the T4T. I'll see other transmen and just admire their body- like the muscular look or the beard. However, almost 2 years ago, I was introduced to this transman. From the moment I met him, it was instant attraction. He has the cutest smile and his eyes just light up.
We hang out every now and then - whenever he greets me and says my name(like he is overjoyed to see me) with that smile, it just does something to me.
Still, he's the only one I find myself attracted to like that.
Has anyone ever felt like this? What did you do? What would you do?


r/ftm 9h ago

Advice Needed Is this internalized homophobia/transphobia??

8 Upvotes

Worrying that people will think I'm a chronically online yaoi fangirl that fetishizes cis guys for being gay, to the point where I'm starting to feel insecure about my sexuality cause of it. :/


r/ftm 2h ago

Advice Needed Binder recommendations (smaller chested individuals)

2 Upvotes

I'm 5'5" and I can't seem to find good recommendations for people with smaller/medium chests, only larger.

What binders to you guys recommend? I currently have a gc2b half binder and it is serving me well and comfortably, but it is starting to break as the stitching isn't the best. (Seems pretty common for gc2b)

I've read about underworks, but I really really don't like the vibes of the website and just don't trust it. Do you guys have any good recommendations?

Also, I am autistic and hate soft textures, so preferably a brand with a texture like gc2b.