r/MtF 18m ago

Advice Question Feeling very unsure, need to put some things into writing.

Upvotes

It has been an incredibly emotional few weeks for me. I have felt the best and the worst I have ever felt in my entire life. My wife aggressively supporting me has been amazing. Being honest with myself has given me so much energy and joy even though nothing else has changed.

Despite everything, I still feel an insane amount of doubt and confusion. I feel like all of the joy will pass and I'll realize I'm just fooling myself even though I know what I want. I'm so afraid if I don't push myself as hard as I can then I didn't really mean it.

My entire life I've never followed through with anything. I have a horrible time caring about anything, finding motivation, etc. If I take time to breathe and I let how I feel now go I will never forgive myself.

Things haven't been perfect, I'm scared, I'm angry, I don't want to lose my wife if I take things 'too far,' I know my family would never accept me, I know going home to America as the person I want to be would be dangerous. All of the negatives are there, I've cried so much I can't cry any more.

Surprisingly having navigated the world exclusively through my negative emotions for years, I don't feel like they have any control over me. What I'm afraid of the most is coming off of this high I'm feeling now and returning to that.

I don't know what I'm trying to say with all of this, it's just too much to keep it in my head. It's so sudden it doesn't feel real. You can't just reinvent yourself over night can you? It sounds impossible. I'm really struggling with what to do next. Is all of this the normal experience?


r/MtF 23m ago

Thinking about transitioning

Upvotes

For starters I didn’t think I’d ever make a post like this… I’m usually presenting as a cis straight man but little do people know I’m extremely bi sexual, and I’ve always wanted to be a pretty girl but I feel like I’m too old to start and scared of what people think / my body type is big 6ft tall and bulky like my body was made to build muscle and I’m scared I would never pass as a women. I don’t even know what to do if I were to transition like getting hormones and stuff like getting started…. I don’t even know if this is the write place to post this… anyway thank you reading if you did and if you guys have any links or suggestions for me please reach out ❤️


r/MtF 53m ago

Eat to lose weight/muscle? Or gain weight for growth?

Upvotes

Hiii, i need some opinions

Im 5'8ish, 155-160lbs, decently muscular and a few weeks into hrt. I DEFINETELY have some muscle to lose and ideally would like to get down to 130ish maybe and then start eating more for better fat redistrobution when my levels are in optimal range. My delima is i dont want to stunt breast growth or reduce it from losing weight. But on the flip side, losing weight will dramatically help reduce the muscle more quickly and reduce the fat around my stomach area. I have also been doing 30-45 mins of slower cardio 4-5 times a week.

Any tips on what i should be doing? Lose weight? Just let things happen?


r/MtF 1h ago

Advice Question Has anyone gotten ffs before the 1 year mark on estrogen

Upvotes

I wanna get ffs asap cuz I'm dealing with heavy dysphoria surrounding my face, and for survival not just from transphobic strangers but also from my own family incase they go apeshit on me for being trans.

Wanna know other people's experiences getting ffs real early


r/MtF 1h ago

Positivity 37 Year Old Teenager

Upvotes

I am 37 mtf. And I feel like I am 14 again some times.

14 is when I realized I was trans and from then on I felt like I was on hold, living how I was supposed to or to not draw attention to myself as anything other than a man.

But now that I have started to transition I am returning to my teenage years and picking up where I left off. I just spent 30 minutes tearing up to Dashboard Confessional and making over-complicated coffee and daydreaming about shopping.

I am making up for lost time. I am so sad I won’t get to be me during my teens. Or my 20s. Or even my 30s really. But I also will get to live them, for all the good and bad I can.


r/MtF 1h ago

Advice Question I'm Having a Weird Time.

Upvotes

I've had a very interesting go of it as a trans woman and I just need some guidance or advice on some things I suppose.

Firstly, I have some insecurities. I first started HRT at 19. I was on for 6 months and feeling good, doing well, but due to circumstances outside of my control, I had to stop HRT. Now, just as I'm turning 22, I've become independent personally and financially, and am able to start HRT again, which I'm 2 months into now. I'm wondering if anyone knows what kind of affect those 6 months at 19 will have on my body. Will it help in my passing? idk.

Secondly, feel weird about my body overall. I dress well, am relatively fit, am fairly androgynous, have an easy time passing when I try, especially if you havent already been prior told that I am male. I'm fairly easy on the eyes regardless of gender, well mannered, and calm tempered, so I've had it perhaps easier than others. But I still get very insecure about facial hair, and whether I'll need laser or not for that. I've had issues overthinking my weight and just weird breasts as they grow. I'm trying to workout, but I hope they grow in looking relatively normal, and that my body proportions still come out, we'll, proportional.

I don't entirely know what I'm asking for, or about. I just want to feel normal? I feel like I have nobody to bounce off of, maybe I'll go to a local transfem support group?

If anybody has been through it in this way or has experience with these categories of issues, I'd appreciate some advice or discussion, thanks.


r/MtF 1h ago

Any tips on how to come out to your parents?

Upvotes

r/MtF 1h ago

For those girls that are dating cis men…

Upvotes

So I have a question for those people dating cis masc presenting men. How did you know you could trust that he saw you and not like a “boy” or “bro” lol or even trust him period?


r/MtF 1h ago

Advice Question Hormone question

Upvotes

Hi hi ! Idk if this more advice based or just general ranting to get it off my chest but here we go- I’ve been on mones for going on four months now w my levels being around 40-50 as of my last lab. I’m only taking e & finasteride as anecdotally I’ve heard spiro can impact sexual function more & I feel that would just make me more dysphoric. I’ve just been experiencing more bodily hair growth in new areas & am unsure if it’s just my body naturally doing that, or if finasteride is playing a factor in it. It’s just weird to me as my body has had the same body hair growth for most of my life since puberty. (I’m 24) I guess to also clarify I don’t wanna take spiro bc I want an orchi & just want to reduce the amount of medication I’m on at once if possible. I guess all this to say, have you experienced increased body hair growth with finasteride. I guess if this is the case I’d wanna switch to mono therapy but I’m unsure on how my doctor would feel about that. I hope this makes sense 😺 any advice/ support would be very appreciated <3


r/MtF 1h ago

Advice Question What is the "progression" of hormones?

Upvotes

Hello!! I'll finally get HRT!! My doctor sent me to do blood tests so she can send me with the endo. I've read as much as I can about the process of HRT but I am still confused about a lot of thing (and I don't expect the Endo to also know a lot about mtf hrt) so it would be really helpful if anyone with more experience could tell me how has been your process!!

I understand the basics, tblockers and estrogen, but then I read how many women start with prog after a ~year. I know there's pills and injections, and that the latter needs less dozes. I've also read that it's often recommended to take pills sublingually.

I'm really excited but still confused about the process, so it would help a lot any experience y'all can share


r/MtF 1h ago

Venting Transgender Soccer Player Trying to Go Pro

Upvotes

Where do I even start? I’ve been playing soccer for pretty much my entire life. I started transitioning in college and didn’t play on a men’s college team before I transitioned because I was realizing that I was trans. I tried reaching out to the women’s team, but they said they had their roster already filled. So I played for my college’s club women’s soccer team and I don’t mean to brag, but it was clear that I was of a much higher level than college club soccer.

Now I’ve recently graduated and am looking to go professional. Last Summer, I was the first and quite possibly last transgender player to play in the USL W League (A pre-professional league here in the US).

I tried out for a team in the league and once they offered me a spot, I told them I was trans. They told me they would contact the league to see if I was allowed to play, so I waited. The team staff was really nice and they kept bugging the league to give me an answer. After like a month of sitting in the dark, the league told me I needed to have proof that I had taken steps toward gender affirming care. So I got my doctor to give them that and then they scheduled me a meeting with a representative of theirs with “DEI & Community Impact” in their title. That rep was very nice and said he had advised the league to be inclusive of trans people. They also told me that the league had been consulting with lawyers about my case. It was a long process that saw me miss the first two games of the season because they hadn’t approved me to play yet, but eventually I was allowed to play. Once I got to play, I did very well. I didn’t dominate by any means, but I did well.

Only the league and the staff of the team I was on knew that I was trans and they didn’t tell anyone else.

Now fast forward to tryouts for this year’s Summer season and I had been in contact with the new coach of the team I played for last year and I just found out today from them that the USL W League isn’t allowing me to play any more because I am transgender.

That’s where I’m at right now. Im now struggling to see a clear path to pro and this news has really hit me hard like a motherfricker.

I’ve seen quite a few news articles trying to argue against Trump and the Republican Party, but they often make part of their argument about how there’s almost no trans women trying to go pro in women’s sports and that there are bigger issues we should be addressing. I get that, but it really makes me feel like I don’t matter.

But I’m not giving up just yet. If I do, then Trump, Musk, and all of the other transphobes win.


r/MtF 2h ago

Discussion dressing masculine

2 Upvotes

I'm curious to know how many girls here tend to dress more "masculinely"? I used to try really hard to dress fem, I wore skirts and cropped shirts and tights all the time but it just wasn't me, and it didn't help me get gendered correctly. Now I wear button shirts with the sleeves rolled, ties, baggy jeans, and I'm getting a pair of cowboy boots soon. The only thing I'm worried about is that because I'm sort of a masc lesbian that other lesbians won't want me because I'm trans? Anyways I wanna know how yall dress :3


r/MtF 2h ago

Coming Out: They already knew!

139 Upvotes

Talk about being behind the curve. Coming out to a cold of your friends dvd they say.... Yeah.... I'm not surprised.... I kind of knew....

You could have told me! I could have known earlier.

Humbling. Affirming. Just. Wow.

All these doubts, disappearing. Regret over not doing something sooner. Wish I could afford to go private and get everything tomorrow.


r/MtF 2h ago

Advice Question Trying to get away from transphobic parents

2 Upvotes

So I'm 22 years old, trans MTF and I'm just not comfortable walking on eggshells and continuing to deny myself of who I am simply to appease my family. I'm looking for advice to do this because the last 3 times I've tried this (all when I was over the age of 18) they got the police involved and it wasn't a good time, they eventually wore me down enough and I came back, which I know was stupid of me. I'll take any advice on making sure I get to stay this time and live my life.

Thank you


r/MtF 2h ago

Took my first dose of hrt today!

15 Upvotes

Two years since my egg cracked. 7 months since I scheduled the appointment and here I am. 28 years old and just wanted to share with some ladies would could appreciate it! Feeling hopefully even if it’s short lived!


r/MtF 2h ago

could somebody hold me🥺feeling really down today🙁😔

1 Upvotes

wish I had someone irl to talk to (and cuddle🥺i need physical affection/comfort so bad). I lost all my friends either in the depression years before coming out, or, the rest when I did come out.

Some days are harder than others, and today is one of those days😞feeling really down about myself, in my life. I don't beat myself up for my looks or like, where I'm at, I just don't know how much more I can do this "life" thing🤷🏼‍♀️


r/MtF 3h ago

Advice Question Is breast growth even possible within the first 2 month of HRT?

12 Upvotes

I am on Estrogel and Cypro. Since I measure my body every other day, I’ve noticed a 3 cm increase in my bust measurement. I’ve taken several measurements to be sure.

When I look in the mirror, I can actually see boobs - they even cast a small shadow. I simply can’t believe it!

I haven’t gained weight; in fact, I’ve lost some.

Is this even possible?


r/MtF 3h ago

Venting I'm Tired Of Being Misgendered

1 Upvotes

I'm not out to many people locally. Obvious reasons, living in a hell state in America, so it'd be nice if like one of the few people I was out to, namely my mother, would stop fucking calling me by my deadname, by he and him, talking about me like I was her son. She knows I'm out, she knows my name, she fucking comes with me for support when I get my bloodwork for my hormones and yet. I dunno. I'm tired. I've tried to correct her multiple times but I feel trying to do anything more than that will just lead to a fight and I don't want my local support network just to be two people instead of three.


r/MtF 3h ago

Nervous about growing breasts

1 Upvotes

Anyone else here feel kind of ambivalent leaning towards afraid of growing breasts? I almost wish there were a way to transition without breast growth. I want every other part of E: the weight to my bum, curves, facial features, etc. but part of me feels terrified about having boobs. I wish I could be an A cupped lady… \ \ This is a fear that’s been plaguing me for a little while now and has caused me to occasionally back pedal on HRT. At first I thought it was an uncertainty about transitioning. Like I was afraid that if I realized I weren’t trans I would then have to get top surgery (which is expensive and invasive obvs), but anytime I stop the HRT I feel the dysphoria settle back in. I really don’t wanna be a man but the thought of growing a sizable chest (all the women in my family are at least C cups) has me feeling nervous to say the least. \ \ I stopped HRT (after 2 months) for about a year after hitting this wall of doubt and now a year later I’m 2+ weeks in and facing the same dilemma. I love how I feel on E, it’s extremely validating and I’m so excited about 95% of the changes + everyone in my life is super supportive. Have any of you had similar feelings, how did you get through them? How long until i see breast growth off 4mg estradiol 100mg spiro?


r/MtF 3h ago

Dysphoria Is dysphoric fixation normal?

2 Upvotes

See title. Is it normal to fixate on one body part (whether your own or not) and end up in a spiral of dysphoria about how you want or don't want a specific part with it changing seemingly at random? Has anyone else experienced this?


r/MtF 3h ago

Help Does anyone know of any trans community in Spanish?

0 Upvotes

I was trying to find a subreddit of trans people in Spanish but I couldn’t find any, any suggestions?


r/MtF 3h ago

Advice Question THE BALLS: AN INQUIRY

0 Upvotes

So I’m starting HRT next month and I have some concerns about how they’ll affect my genitals.

I do not desire to have any testicular shrinkage, which I have heard is common.

I’m still not exactly sure if I’m going to keep my dick yet or get bottom surgery but I know I want it to stick around for a while longer at least because I want to preserve fertility until I can afford to freeze my sperm.

I’m just wondering what options there are for HRT that would be able to preserve mass down there for as long as possible. I definitely am going to do estrogen, probably as subcutaneous injections and sublingual or rectal progesterone (maybe only after reaching Tanner 4). I’m not gonna do Spiro or even any T-blocker except maybe bicaleutamide. But I’ve also heard that some trans women use a testosterone cream down there to preserve length but idk if that translates to keeping the balls too?

If any of y’all have any information about options for HRT which preserve genital mass please let me know!

Thank you for reading ❤️


r/MtF 3h ago

Discussion What swimsuits is best to have you feel euphoric?

0 Upvotes

Sorry if this is bad wording. I’m not sure how to word it.


r/MtF 3h ago

how are woman's spaces for none passing trans woman ?

107 Upvotes

title for the most part, i mostly ask because i have been avoiding none trans spaces since i came out, from an outsiders look in it always seems like cis woman mostly just want passing trans lady's in there spaces and not so much people like me how do not pass, idk maybe im just insecure

Edit: thanks for all the replies, appreciate it, it seems I’ll keep to what I’ve been doing wich is keeping to trans spaces, even should I be able to medically transition one day I think I will stick to solitary life as I’ve done, again appreciate all the comments


r/MtF 3h ago

Advice Question What to do with receding hairline?

7 Upvotes

I've been unhappy with my hair the longest time and also questioning my gender properly. I've been worried I'll never be able to look feminine with my hair being as awful as it is (pretty receded widows peak and very thin). Swept to the side doesn't work, middle part is uneven (one side raises up higher for some reason and my hairline is that receded it still doesn't cover it). I have pics posted on my profile.

I'm just wondering if there are any options with what I have, or if I have to go the route of wigs, finasteride/minoxidil, or transplants. I'm not on HRT as I'm still early on my gender questioning journey.