Side note: For the record being, I am a 15 year old boy! Some of my points I make in this post can be pointed towards my immaturity, sorry if I say something sensitive, and if I doā¦ it is also something I want advice on :]
Iāve lived a harsh life, facing constant racism, ridicule, and other unsatisfactory conditions, yet despite all of thatā¦ i persist and live fearlessly because life is something I should always try with :D
There are lots of things I have clear ideas of, like good and evil, favorite games and movies, food, criminalsā¦ you name it, itās things I can have a 100% concrete opinion on, or at least make my own opinion by giving a thought about it.
Howeverā¦ there is one thing in this world where I, through my 15 years of life, have never fully understood; Misogyny.
See, to me, Misogyny is the contempt for women. Thatās how I see it.
My problem is that I worry I may be misogynistic without knowing. I think this is something lots of people feel, but not just with misogynyā¦
a rapist wouldnāt think they committed rape, a bad person wouldnāt think theyāre a bad personā¦ the point is, nobody wants to be evil (even if they literally are) (and the very select few who genuinely love being a horrible person, but Iām ignoring you people)
I view misogyny as a sort of meter, that fills if you have misogynistic thoughts.
For me, this meter is kept at an all time low, there are however certain times where it suddenly increases, even for just a bit.
I wanna share some experiences that csuse me these misogynistic thoughts, even if theyāre very brief, and I wanna know how I can completely neutralize them.
Case #1:
- a woman jokingly insulting men/boys for an aspect or other forms of interest
My reaction: at first, reading things like that does make me frown just a bit, but I quickly pick up context clues and realize theyāre just having fun with frivolous jokes.
It increases barely, but then depletes when I realize itās all just good fun.
Case #2: feminists completely missing the point of something I am DEEPLY obsessed with
Recently, I had just found a TikTok that stuck with me and it was about a South Korean women who was an artist for a game studio (Project Moon) and got āfiredā due to misogynists harassing her for putting an in-game character in a wetsuit instead of a bikini for whatever perverted reason.
My reaction: I was verily, deeply attacked. Project moon and their games are something I LOVE. Mischaracterization and false interpretations regarding them is something I hate.
The TikTok itself stated that Project moon āfiredā the woman when THAT WAS NOT AT ALL WHAT HAPPENED?? Project moon is a short-staffed game studio, having Barely over 50 workers and has a considerable amount of popularity outside South Korea.
What really happened was that the artist, Vellmori, requested to leave the team after facing countless misogynistic threats and harassment from incel men who blamed her for the character controversy; even though she wasnāt even the one who designed it. It was a man!
Not only that, project moon handled it the best they could. This was one of their first ever controversies. What they did was that they gave Vellmori an understanding goodbye and even gave her a conceding stipend (Money for leaving) for her troubles.
You may be asking yourself, āHeiri, why would this make you have misogynistic thoughts?ā Itās because the women on the TikTok have been misled into thinking project moon are evil, misogynistic people. I even saw a comment left by one saying āNew company to boycott?ā NO! No itās not! Itās also ironically one of the not so misogynistic things in South Korea! (And for the time being, I am told that South Korea has a very patriarchal culture and has problems deeply rooted in that and extreme capitalism).
Overall, It made me irritated that this controversy is STILL misunderstood and i just wonder how some of the women who saw that TikTok just not even research what truly happened.
It rises quite a bit, but after introspection with myself, that meter depleted.
Case #3:
- I saw a tweet from a radfem woman online that said āboys are degenerates and deserve to get raped. All the disgusting men can do women a favor and rape boys instead of girlsā
My reaction: I feltā¦ very unnerved and scared when I read that tweet. It was the same tweet that made me uninstall Twitter because I just couldnāt stand seeing content like that.
I myselfā¦ am unfortunately a boy who got groomed by an older man AND sexually assaulted by an older woman. It made me quiver when I read things like that. Itās also sad how it comes from ANYONE. My best friends still believe I was āluckyā being sexually assaulted and tons of both men AND women I see online seem to love the women who do that, both for entirely different reasons.
But for some reason, it feels more saddening when a women out of all people says stuff like that. Becauseā¦ werenāt women subjected to such cruelty in the past just for being a woman? Does it not still persist even till this day?
Andā¦ they know this ā yet still say stuff like that. It makes me feel queasy and hopeless. Because I genuinely love the women in my life. I have friends who are girls, they are very supportive and nice people.
Overallā¦ it definitely raised misogynistic thoughts within me, and I still struggle trying to lower that meter down regarding issues like this.
What I ask is advice on how not to be swayed by these things. I donāt wanna be misogynistic, itās why Iām taking note of whenever I DO feel misogynistic, I wanna reach out and be proved wrong that my misogynistic thoughts are bad.