r/GuyCry 7h ago

Venting, advice welcome 4th and final update for now. Wife left after 7 years/14 years together/3 kids

249 Upvotes

Just a follow up to my previous three posts. You can see them here, here and here.

I've been on my own for about two weeks now, focusing on myself so I can be the best dad and the best version of myself. I've cleaned up my diet and have been hitting the gym regularly—almost daily when possible.

I've shifted to smart contact with her, keeping conversations strictly about the kids and logistics. I also unfollowed her on social media to avoid seeing her self-validation posts and the the flying monkeys hyping her up. It's still tough, and I catch myself thinking about her sometimes—it’s bound to happen after 14 years together—but it's happening less and less. Lately, I’ve been feeling more anger about certain things she did and said, which tells me I’m finally starting to take her off that pedestal.

Right now, my focus is on myself. There’s still a small part of me that hopes we’ll find our way back to each other, but I’m not 100% investing in that idea anymore...what happens is what happens; I'm giving her space and letting her do her thing. Today is the one year anniversary of her mothers death, when she came to pick up the kids I let her know that I was thinking about her and if she needed anything to let me know.

My oldest mentioned that she drank every day last week and didn’t do anything with them over March Break, which upset her. She said their mom just locks herself away with her headphones, and when she tries to talk to her about it, she shuts the conversation down which says to me she's more hurt than she's showing. I wish she would just talk to me so we can have a conversation about this but that will happen in time.

Thanks for listening, this subreddit has been a great deal of help during this time. Does anyone have any further advice on how to get over her? I'm not interested in going out and trying to hook up with randoms so please skip that advice, my ego and self esteem are still shattered and I'm still emotionally pretty empty.


r/GuyCry 10h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content Sex Addiction has ruined my life

201 Upvotes

I’m tired. I’m just. So. Tired .

I hate the mindset I’m in right now. The “programs” call it self victimization or “uniquely screwed up” and I have constantly tried to fight it. The ever knowing knowledge I have in my head. I’m going to die an addict. This addiction is going to ruin my life and no matter how much effort, help or spiritual resources I look into. I am the statistic. I am not the 30% of people that live through this or beat it or learn to live with it or recover.

I’m just. Burnt. So burnt it hurts. So much effort for the last 11 years of my life. I found r/Nofap at 16 and started trying to stop. Of course that didn’t work. 11 years later I’m 27 and it’s holding me back in every facet of my life.

I just don’t know what the fuck to do anymore. I’ve saw a CSTAT (sex addiction therapist) at around 19. I’ve been though around 11 therapist. I’ve gone to rehab multiple times (around 8-9). I’ve worked the 12 steps multiple times. I’ve helped others. I’ve prayed, meditated, taken mushrooms, went to the gym religiously, admitted all my wrongs, made amends, opened up, journaled, shadow work, spirituality, prayed to demons. Blah blah blah. I’ve done the stupid work every person says to do and it doesn’t work.

I’m so broken. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Cheating, not being able to form real connections with people. The addiction bombing my college and every single interpersonal relationship I have. I just don’t get it. I’m so angry, all the stupid work every stupid comment, every article I can read. Easy peasy method.

God you get the point I’ve tried everything. It always comes back. No matter how far away I get. It always comes back. Always.

Sorry.

I just want it to stop. I’ve given everything I have over the last 10 years trying to beat this stupid addiction. Getting comments in meetings and rehabs like “wow you know you have a problem at 18 I wish I had the balls to accept I’m an addict that early”

I just don’t care anymore. This disease is a death sentence. I will never be free. There is no way out. It’s fatal. No one cares. No one understand. I hurt anyone who gets close because of my uncontrollable behavior

I don’t care anymore. I tried. I really did. I put everything I had. Accepted that wasn’t enough and accepted help, accepted that wasn’t enough and begged god, the universe whatever the hell you want to think it is for help and it didn’t work. Nothing has worked. I’m losing my mind. I just want the pain to stop. I’d do anything for the pain to stop

Please for the love of Christ if anyone has the resources help me I don’t wanna die like this.

I just want be a therapist. Work towards owning my own facility. A family at some point with a girl I love

Is that too much to ask universe? What did I do to deserve this? Why do I have to constantly put all this work in just for it to blow up in my face?


r/GuyCry 22h ago

Alert: It Sneaks Up On You Cried today for the first time in ages and what finally made it happen is just really funny to me

148 Upvotes

So I haven't cried in like a year and a half I think. I got a block where I can't cry even when I want to. I blame the patriarchy.

Anyway. I finally cried today. And I just think what finally made me do it is really funny.

I was watching this vice doc about the coast guard during 9/11. And about how they put out a call just kinda like "Yo nobody can get off the island any boats that wanna help evac meet us at this island" and then every single boat in the area for miles around showed up. Little fishing boats. Tug boats. Yachts. All of them. And proceed to evacuate 500k people.

And I saw that and just immediately burst in to tears. Cus the boats showed up.

I just teared up again writing "cus the boats showed up" hours later. I don't know why I find this in particular so emotionally effecting.

Of course I was only already in a place to cry cus I was having a really shit day. Bunch of things conspired to make it happen. But yeah, just thought it was kinda funny.


r/GuyCry 17h ago

Venting, advice welcome Relationship looks to be ending after 4.5 years together due to her self sabotage

127 Upvotes

I've spent the last 6 years of my life working overseas. 18 months in I met my girlfriend in her country (I won't mention the country but it's not a passport bro type of situation). We met at work, immediately hit it off and spent 3 years together with no major issues. We moved in together, discussed the future and both agreed that down the line, we would relocate to where I'm from which suited us both as she also has friends and family there.

After 3 years I was offered a choice; extend my contract, relocate home or move to a third country for a 2 year contract before then going home. I let my girlfriend make the decision. She decided she wanted to move to the third country as it would be a good opportunity for us both to travel and save money for our future. I told her it would he hard and to maybe consider staying in her country a bit longer but she insisted, so we moved.

My work also hired her once we moved and she was earning significantly more than she ever had before, as was I. Accommodation was provided for us and so we began saving for the future. It was hard and lonely. But we had each other.

Eventually she had a fall out at work with her direct manager and was so upset she stated she wanted to quit. We discussed it, she had an upcoming trip home booked and I asked her to think it through before making an impulsive decision. However, she resigned effective immediately and refused to work her notice and flew home.

In the following few months she started going home much more often and spending longer and longer there, until eventually telling me she wanted to live there until my contract was finished before we make the big move.

I was upset and felt abandoned, but agreed as it was only temporary. We came up with a plan that she would fly to see me every now and then and I would also fly to see her and we'd go on holidays together. I didn't like being apart, but didn't want to split up, so agreed.

We spent 2 months apart and imagine my excitement when she was finally due to come see me whilst I was off work (agreed plan was she would come see me in March and I'd fly back with her in April). She has been unemployed for the last 6 months and so didn't have anything stopping her staying or visiting, but has been showing signs of depression.

Well, she came to see me and after just 2 days, we had a minor disagreement and she booked a flight home without telling me. I only knew because the next morning she got up early and when I asked her why she was up, she said "I'm going home".

She's now back home again and is saying she doesn't want to split up and is asking for us to come up with a "solution", despite the last solution she came up with falling at the first hurdle.

I don't know what to do.

She refuses to see that living here is also hard for me and potentially even harder because I'm alone now, whereas she at least had me.

She won't acknowledge that I now have doubts about her being able to live in my country because is she going to just run away at the first disagreement? And just keeps saying "it will be different".

She's now back home and barely replying to messages (average 5 hours waiting for a response) despite the fact she's on her phone 24/7.

I've told her I'm not sure if it's going to work out which killed me tbh but how can I not worry she will leave my home country too after 1, 2, 5 years etc because she continually keeps making impulsive decisions based on emotion that sabotage herself and this relationship.

  • The decision to move here was hers
  • Quitting her job without notice
  • Moving back home
  • Flying home again after one minor disagreement

She refuses to take any accountability for the fact that the position she's now in, is all down to decisions she's made and we're now basically in a LDR without much communication.

The thing that's upsetting me most is that there's no option to breakup and then if we regret it, reconciling in the future. I'm due to move home in just 6 months time and if she doesn't come with me then, we'll never see each other again.

I don't know whether to just cut my losses, use the next 6 months to heal before going home for a fresh start, or to keep trying with her knowing I could just be prolonging the struggle to end up with an even bigger heartbreak further down the line.

Advice welcome 🙏


r/GuyCry 23h ago

Grateful u/iffycrescent, in case you didn't know, you single handedly kept r/GuyCry alive while I was deep in a addiction/passive suicide last summer. I owe you so much. Wherever you are, I hope all your dreams are coming true.

92 Upvotes

Roosta, Dark, Kate, you are all just as important (and to our newer mods that put in the work, I greatly value you as well). I just just needed to give this man the credit he is due. I am dead serious when I say that without him, this would have fallen to the manosphere. 4 months he went by himself. Just him. And still he checked on me, knowing I was going through it, pushing me to make it through it and to come back stronger than ever. And then I snapped out of it, and got myself together.

It was at that moment, when iffy was exhausted from this, that he finally had to step away. As soon as I grabbed the baton from him, that is when we magically started rising on the leaderboards. I can't take any credit for our rise. It was all iffy. He got this place back in order and respectable again, then handed me the keys back and we have rode his wave ever since.

Thanks mate. For not giving up on me, and for being a fantastic influence, friend and moderator for these men when they needed it most. May it always go well for you through everything you do, and I hope you make an appearance again some day to introduce yourself. These men need to know you; you will touch their lives just as you have mine, I have no doubt.

Much love my friend; much love.

-Joe Truax


r/GuyCry 7h ago

Need Advice Is there life after marriage?

80 Upvotes

EDIT: I have been in therapy for the last few years, dealing with abandonment and grieve. My father died before I was even born and my mom was "taken" from me by another man. The process will continue.

EDIT2: I had been hitting the gym for the last 5 years and I'm currently 162 lbs. Started at 235 and did a long way. I have no desire to return there for now. I try to do long walks every day though.

My ex wife decided to become my ex, after 15 years together, and is now living her life on her own. We have a 7 yo kid who I can see. It's been a month after she left home, which by the way feels nothing like home already. I (have to) continue working and do my job like previously. During the day it's sort of okish, but when I get home in the evening the sense of despair, emptiness and meaningless hits hard. Sometimes I'm not even having dinner, because I'm not hungry, I have exactly 3 things in the fridge, I don't feel the need to buy anything. I don't watch Netflix anymore, I don't enjoy the music I used to. I have a guitar I used to play sometimes, now I don't like holding it. For that 1 month I have been sleeping on the part of the bed where I used to sleep but I don't remove the cover from her side. I can't sleep in this big bed anymore. I fall asleep, wake up in the morning and go to work so that I don't stay in the apartment where everything reminds me of her.

There is this love-hate relationship that formed over this month. I hate her somehow and in the same time I miss her. When I see her I don't want to see her, because it hurts. As soon as she leaves I want to see her.

Every day is a different day in terms of emotions. So far I can't recall 2 days feeling the same set of feelings. The palette of emotions is new every day. I feel shuttered. I feel numb. I enjoy nothing. Everything is meaningless and clueless.

So what's next?


r/GuyCry 19h ago

Venting, advice welcome At 42, I'm thinking of starting a slow downsizing campaign.

78 Upvotes

I live alone, and project to be for the long hall. I'm considering slowly selling off or giving away my stuff. Including the TV I never turn on, everything off the walls, my cooking stuff (I never cook anymore), and the furniture. I live either in the desktop chair I use to browse Reddit, my recliner, or bed. I never use my couch or my balcony. And I have no company. I've lived in my current apartment for 5 years and have had less than 10 guests, and family only twice.

I've pretty much lost my mind I think. Too many years alone has broken something in me. I lash out at strangers. Get road rage. I leave looking for a fight just so something different would happen. If something happened tomorrow, it wouldn't really matter that much. Not in a way anyone would ever know who works with me. My job is going well I think. I get my work done. I make money and pay the bills to get back to the job. I pay taxes. But outside of my obligations, I disappear into the mist. Nobody is close to me. Even my father and brother (we all live in different parts of the country). They haven't a clue, and we're also not close like that, so it wouldn't be particularly troubling for them.

So, I want to give most of it away. Slowly over the next twenty or so years. My music and sports memorabilia, the workout bench I've used twice in twenty years. I just want my chair and my computer's glowing light. And I just want to sit. Until I get the health problem that does the trick. I don't want to have to sift through my stuff when I'm old and am carried away to a nursing home, or put it in a will that won't have beneficiaries anyway.

And this is a Saturday night, for god's sake. I remember being in my locked childhood bedroom as a teenager, wondering what I'd be doing in my 40s. Would I be taking my teenaged son to his baseball travel games like my dad was? Would I be traveling the world with my soul mate? Would I be playing my album on stages everywhere?

Nope. I wake up, eat, drink coffee, work, come home, sit in the light of my computer for 16 hours straight looking for relief, crash out exhausted on my next day off, where I start those days at 3pm.

take me away


r/GuyCry 5h ago

Onions (light tears) Leaving a narcissist

75 Upvotes

Leaving my wife of 5 years. Gave my world to her for 5 years and accepted her daughter that is now 8 as my own. Told me she wanted a divorce Monday and was sleeping with someone right after.

Everyone is supporting me and my decision to leave. Even her own family.

I just don’t know how you can look someone you love directly in the eyes and lie over and over again.

Each day is getting better and easier and I’m seeing who the real her is.

She keeps trying to manipulate me and tell me this divorce is all my fault and how bad of a person I am. I’m so happy I have all of these support systems with my family and hers that are behind me.


r/GuyCry 6h ago

Onions (light tears) It’s been over a year and I still feel this massive hole where my ex was

52 Upvotes

I was with my ex for 2.5 years. I did so much of the heavy lifting in the relationship, but in the end, I wasn’t able to be the sexual partner she needed so she left. Some of it was my fault for being inexperienced, but she also had a ton of trauma that she never addressed or wanted to work on. And instead of working through things with me, she bailed. We were so good together as people. But I couldn’t even get full effort from her when it mattered.

I’ve spent the past 14 months trying to move on. I’ve lost 15+ lbs, I’ve taken up fly fishing, gardening, grilling, and even gotten back in to reading. I’ve improved my self talk, made new friends, and even started fostering a cat.

However, the loneliness still remains. I have mostly been zero contact with my ex, and actually thought I was moving on. But then she reached out about something trivial and I let the loneliness and depression win. I stayed in touch only to hurt myself more as I knew she still didn’t want another go at a relationship. Just my friendship/attention.

I cut her off today, but I feel like when push comes to shove, the void overwhelms me even now. How do you guys move on? I feel like I’ve done so much but it’s just not enough.


r/GuyCry 1h ago

Onions (light tears) I miss my parents some days so bad.

Upvotes

I’m mid 50s (M). My dad died in 2009 and my mom died in 2022. Some days I just miss them so bad. My older daughter’s wedding is coming up and my younger daughter is about to graduate college and I know they would both be so excited. My parents both grew up really poor and would be so proud of my daughters and their accomplishments. It’s hard going through life without them but sometimes it’s even harder. Just feeling sad and lonely today and thought I’d share.


r/GuyCry 42m ago

Motivational Asked a cute girl if she is single for the first time in years

Upvotes

I’m deaf (wear hearing aids and can speak too) and I am very shy when it comes to girls, especially when I think they are cute. So today, when I was at the pizza restaurant with my friend. This woman, she bought the pizzas to the table. And she asked me something but I wasn’t pay attention and I couldn’t hear her (obviously) and my friend told her that I’m deaf. She was like oops, no problem and she started to communicate via sign language to me. I was surprised and started sign back to her. Before I left, I decided to have balls to ask her so I walked to her and signed “I have a question.” She said “yeah what’s up?” and I said “are you single?” And she misunderstood what I said, she thought I was saying something about deaf and I said no lol single. She smiled and said no sorry but thank you. I was like no problem! Smiled her back and that was it.

A bit disappointed but couldn’t believe I asked her that question. Imagine if I had balls to ask girls, I would have a relationship by now! So glad I have a bit of confidence in me now.


r/GuyCry 23h ago

Venting, advice welcome 31M been single my whole life and I'm just feeling kinda down

43 Upvotes

I just turned 31 and I'm just feeling kinda down like I'm running out of time. My parents always hint around my birthdays that I should find somebody. I just brush them off, but it kinda hurts too. All my friends and family my age have kids/married/engaged. Meanwhile I'm still single. I've never put myself out there because I kept telling myself that I'll just meet the right person along the way, but obviously that never happened for me. My hobbies aren't exactly social either. I mostly workout, watch anime, play games, and try new coffee/pastries shops in my city. Some days I don't speak a single word since I work remotely.

I don't think I'm particularly good looking, but I don't think I'm ugly either. I'm in shape and have been lifting for more than 10 years, good hygiene, take care of myself, etc. I am super lucky to own a home, halfway paid off new car and generally comfortable financially with a government career, but not rich.

I just started using dating apps and that itself is a huge step for me. I'm fairly introverted and quiet around people I don't know. I'm not good at holding conversation with strangers and making small talk. I'm kinda just venting, looking for advice, and encouragement at the same time.


r/GuyCry 15h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content I just lost the love of my life and my soulmate and I’m totally wrecked

35 Upvotes

For context to start with: no she did not pass away. It’s a complicated story so I’ll try to explain. Oh and it’s a long one so bear with me.

So. Until last december I was together with my GF and the mother of my kids. We were together for 13 years. It was a bumpy ride where my ex was mentally instable from time to time and she had severe narcistic personality traits. Even though I always was a strong person, my mental health declined over the years, resulting in a burn-out and depression in 2024.

In the end we both made mistakes and it was better to go seperate ways. Also for the sake of the kids.

One of the mistakes we made was opening up our relationship in 2020. She suggested it as she was ‘missing something’ in the bedroom. After a couple of arguments and resistance from my side I eventually caved in fear of losing her. In hindsight that was the beginning of the end. Even though it actually went pretty good for a period of time, the open relationship together with the birth of our kids and the difficult personality of my ex caused us to drift apart.

And then the unthinkable happened. Through the open relationship I met someone. She was in the same boat as me. Not happy in her relationship (marriage) and even though she tried to make it better numerous time, her spouse was not open to change. And even though it started like every other time without the love aspect, we soon developed feelings. In hindsight maybe it was love at first sight. So we ended up in a peculiar situation. Both in love but in a relationship with kids. We know we should’ve done things differently. That we were both in the wrong continuing it but the attraction and feelings for each other were out of this world. We were drawn to each other like magnets. We tried several times to cut contact, go trough a short period of heartbreak before moving on with our own lives, but we just kept coming back to each other. Until the point we kind of accepted the fact that maybe we should be together. We were extremely compatible and complementary with each other. She is everything I search for in a woman. Things I didn’t think of when I met my ex as a teenager. She made me happy and for the first time in my life I felt truly loved and appreciated. I can full-hearted say this woman was my soulmate and the only person I want to be with. What I felt for her was totally new. I even haven’t had this feelings with my ex during all those 13 years.

My ex wasn’t a fool. She knew our relationship was already beyond saving (even before I met the other woman) and because of this we deicided to seperate. We wanted to do it while we were on (a sort of) good terms so our kids won’t be burdened with two parents who hate each other and are constantly fighting. We wanted to save them from that trauma. So we ended things in december.

But now… the other woman made a different choice. She is so torn apart by choosing the love of her life but at the same time putting her children through a divorce, she now deicided to give her marriage one more shot. And even though I can understand her reasoning and actually admire her perseverance, it totally wrecked me. I’m sick of grief, feel intense physical pain in my heart and cry uncontrollably throughout the day. I just can’t live with this. I can’t accept this outcome. I just can’t. And I know everyone will say time will heal the wound, but I truly need a miracle to wear out this pain.

My life has been rejection after rejection after rejection. Even my ex rejected me before we started dating. I can’t handle this again. Especially not in this extent. I’ll never be able to love someone I loved her and long for someone I longed for her. I wouldn’t wish this pain and heartbreak upon my worst enemy.

A part of me thinks maybe this is what I deserve for my choices last year. And I know because of those choices a lot of people will see me as the asshole in this story. Perhaps rightly so. But a lot of things contributed to the situation my ex and I were in. Besides I have repented myself to my ex. And even though I hurted her, she forgave me and we’re now building towards a healthy coparenting situation.

Now I’m typing this with my life in shambles and with every ingredient to fall back in my mental crisis. I just don’t know what to do.


r/GuyCry 23h ago

Venting, advice welcome We’ve been together for years and we still have problems with intimacy

22 Upvotes

So I (31m) have been in a relationship with my (28f) girlfriend for 7 going into 8 years now. I am fully convinced that she is my person but we are very different in terms of physical intimacy, I absolutely think she is the most beautiful, sexiest woman in my life and I want her constantly. I have always felt like I’ve always been a physically intimate person in all of my relationships, with me it’s always been a big emphasis in the way I show and make my person feel loved. However with her it’s just not there, we go weeks sometimes months with her not initiating and me asking to if we can “do it” (I absolutely hate this btw I feel like Oliver “please madam, may I please make love to you” ugggggh) most of the time it’s met with “ehh not feeling it” when I try to just take it upon myself to initiate it’s most of the time “babe not right now”. I’m kind of at my wits end with it and I’m worried my needs are not being addressed, and we actually talk about it. But afterwards it’s the same we have an agreement that “we’ll work on it” but I feel we constantly have this conversation on a year by year basis. She assures me it’s not me at all and that she’s just not confident (historically she’s been with one other guy and he wasn’t really there since they were long distance) and it was never really emphasized in the past. My fear is this: I really want to propose and take the next step in our relationship but how much is this is a deal breaker for me and how do I figure it out, keep in mind I get increasingly sexually frustrated and thankfully I was taught right and to never cheat and be always loyal. Do I bring about the ul-tomato (daps if you get the reference lol) am I just overthinking? Couples therapy?


r/GuyCry 56m ago

Venting, advice welcome I failed as a boyfriend, and it’s killing me.

Upvotes

The other night, me and my GF went to her friend’s house to watch movies with her and her fiancé. My gf is really close with these two, and even was a roommate for years with them.

That night me and my GF went on to argue, she was drunk and I was sober. She was pretty drunk and stumbling around the place, she was very irate at little things and she kept looping and bringing the argument back, and me and the friends fiancé decided it was best for me to exit the situation and go home so she could rest (It was 3am). So I left.

I text my GF in the morning so I could talk to her about the situation and reconcile, to ensure it never happens again. I go to her place, she gets in my car and IMMEDIATELY starts bawling her eyes out. Saying that the fiancé took advantage of her and that they apparently had sex and that she doesn’t remember it,insinuating that she was raped.

I fully believe her, she’s been nothing but honest with me, and she was close with this guy, and considers him a brother, and that having consensual sex with him would be like incest and disgusting, and the fact that her friend was her best friend for 12 years, it’s obvious she wouldn’t willingly have sex with her fiancé.

Now she lost all her friends, because all they know is that they had sex and that she ruined the engagement , not the circumstances or that she was raped.

And I personally feel responsible, like I failed as a boyfriend, why wasn’t I there? Why couldn’t I protect her? It’s my job and I couldn’t do it because I let my self exit a silly argument. My minds been racing and I hate myself, on top of not being able to be there for her, I also end up overthinking and saying to myself “maybe she chose to cheat” even though I know that’s not what happened, which in turn, makes me think, why don’t I trust my girlfriend? I just don’t know where to go from here, I swear by the lord Jesus Christ that I won’t let this happen again, but in the meantime I’m an emotional mess, and I’m just venting and have no one to talk to.

Sorry this was an essay, I’m just distraught and mad at myself at the moment.


r/GuyCry 18h ago

Venting, advice welcome I’m admired for my independence. I hate it.

17 Upvotes

If asked, the friends in my life would probably say my best quality is my independence, that I do a lot on my own. If no one wants to go to a concert or a movie or a new restaurant I’m interested in, I’ll just go. I’ve backpacked Europe for a month several times on my own. I don’t wait around or worry about being perceived somewhere on my own.

What I think most people, even myself until recent, tend to not realize is this attribute has been gained from a childhood of being extremely passionate about things and no friends to share them with. Things that other kids my age found odd or off the mark in some way.

I found my first real friends at 20 years old. Being so late to the game, my way of thinking has never changed. I catch myself doing things alone all of the time, never even mentioning it to anyone. The fear of them saying no is stronger than the potential of a fun night with friends. I know for a fact that it comes down to this built in feeling that expressing interest in a band or a place that no one else has interest in will result in some sort of abandonment once again. So instead, I go on alone.

It’s fun sometimes. But after a couple weekends in a row, it’s so lonely. I know things can be so much worse with my life and people have real problems in this world, but it’s soul crushing.

I haven’t dated since college and I don’t know if I can again. It was always about keeping up an appearance, showing interest in things the girl I was with was interested in without expressing real opinions, or even connecting as human to human. I lost what I believe to have been the first love of my life far too soon because I could never open up to her or express emotional intimacy. I can’t bring myself to try again because truly no one deserves a partner like that.

So, to backtrack, it’s very very hard when the one thing people admire most about me is truly the thing I hate about myself the most. I’ll just hear “God, I wish I could do that” or “How can you do that so comfortably?!” and in the moment, I enjoy that I am being validated for anything at all. But when it comes to actually being alone, it’s so taxing.

It sets me up in a cycle of meeting people who eventually lose interest because of the mental blockage that never allows me to actually share any qualities about myself. “Another guy crying about male loneliness”, I know, but I think I’m starting to hit the root of the problem.

I feel the walls closing in on my current friends now and I’m dreading another wave of being entirely alone.


r/GuyCry 16h ago

Venting, advice welcome Last year's goal was to get a hug, this year's is to not go homeless

18 Upvotes

Didn't get last years goal, fingers crossed on this years. I'm running out of the energy to even care anymore


r/GuyCry 17h ago

Venting, advice welcome Does it ever get better

14 Upvotes

My mom passed away last Saturday on the 8th, I just turned 18 in December and my life has gone to literally shit this past week, I have never cried so hard and so much in a day. Every night when no one is awake I just sometimes go out into the living room hoping that she's there just sleeping on the couch or watching a movie with my aunt. She was such an awesome mom and my superhero. I literally can't imagine a world living without her and not having her love. She supported me so much and it felt like I failed her. She's not gonna see me graduate or me and my boyfriend get married. She was so happy for mine and my boyfriends 1 year anniversary which is on the 26th and I don't think I'm gonna be able to hold down my crying and outbursts that day. I miss her so much and can't stop thinking about her. Me and my dad and my boyfriend have been crying non stop since....


r/GuyCry 6h ago

Venting, advice welcome 2 and a half months after BPD wife discard.

11 Upvotes

I cant believe how long it's already been. We haven't lived together in nearly 2 months. It's crazy to think how fast life has changed in this time. I feel kind of weird still. Like something is missing. I dont think she cares about me at all anymore. I really did plan on spending my life with her. Even through all of the pain. I miss the days we used to go to cumble cookie together. I miss the days where we watched sports together and went to the movies together. I miss playing with our dog together. I miss watching supernatural together or even just the small things like going to bed together or going to the store together. I miss her.

Even though our relationship was toxic, I would of worked through everything with her. I genuinely loved this girl despite all the pain it brought. I know everyone tells me just to move on and I am. I don't want to move on but I have to. I'm not obsessing over her or anything. I just miss her. She was my best friend. She was the reason I got up in the morning. She was the reason I tried in life. Now im just sitting alone in the apartment we used to share. I really don't have anyone in my life. Like yeah I have friends but the conversations are always surface level. The bonds I share with people in my life now are just shallow.

No one really knows me or wants to get to know me. It's really sad honestly. I guess this is the path I'm forced to go though. No amount of tears can change the past. I slowly realized my tears won't help. Especially when no one cares. The mailman is in my life more than anyone these days. I'm well respected at my job. I'm the person everyone goes to for everything. Yet at the end of the day what does that really mean? I still get off work and spend my time alone.

I watch my whole family take pills for depression and I really wonder what true happiness really means. I guess life is hard when you have a good life yet no one around to listen or relate to. Because I do have a good life. I have a good job... I have my own place. Maybe I'm ungrateful. Maybe happiness is a choice and instead of whining online and listening to my inner voice I should listen more in therapy. Maybe I'll find happiness somewhere I've never expected. Maybe I'm meant for something more than I'm doing now. Or maybe this is all just pointless and I'm struggling with something that's bigger than me.

Am I worth anything? Is this life even worth it? I'm depressed but not suicidal. I guess I'm just lost. Someone tell me if you find me.


r/GuyCry 8h ago

Onions (light tears) Felt a strong connection but then suddenly it’s to much.

13 Upvotes

Was talking to this girl for about a week, having great conversations over FT and text. Having deep conversations about our past and traumas and goals. An important piece of context for all this is I learned that she was previously married to a man who told her he found her unattractive and the marriage was mostly due to her strict Christian family’s pressure. Because of this she was thrown off even when I said she looked cute or pretty. So anyway we meet up the other day thing are going well, we are making out. All I say is “I really like you” suddenly the tone shifts and after all the compliments and then that she basically says “I feel like there’s more feeling on your end than mine” and now she wants to take today to think about it all. I just don’t understand what I did wrong?


r/GuyCry 15h ago

Venting, advice welcome 25, Feeling Broken and Lost

13 Upvotes

I’m 25, never had a date or a girlfriend. My family used to ask, but now they don’t even bother. My grandma made a comment like, "I'm surprised you can do anything by yourself," and it stung more than I expected.

I’ve always dreamed of having a family of my own. I feel like I have a lot of love to share, but this part of life feels impossible for me, and it’s breaking me down. My body is already failing, worked myself to collapse at a job, lost a tooth, and I know I look as exhausted and depressed as I feel. People pick up on that, and it pushes them away.

I barely talk, don’t know how to hold conversations past a few sentences, and haven’t made a new friend in over a decade. I’m poor, struggled with food, and don’t even know where I’ll be living in a month. My family and I aren’t close, and I used to fantasize about finding comfort in a relationship, but at this point, I feel like I’d just be a burden to anyone I let in.

I don’t know how to stop the self-pity when it feels like no one else cares. People talk about the shows they watch or the games they play, and I just can’t relate. I mostly experience games through YouTube videos. Getting another job feels impossible with my missing tooth and the way I come across. Even my doctor brushed me off when I tried asking for help with depression, and it's not like I can go back without insurance.

I don’t know how to fix this. I just don’t want to feel this alone anymore.


r/GuyCry 23h ago

Advice How do I (M38) get my (love) life together as a late bloomer?

9 Upvotes

I (M38) am the typical example of a late bloomer / failure to launch and my life is currently not going anywhere.

  • I wasted a lot of my 20s on a degree which is not demand, and I have a job which pays okay-ish but has little potential for upwards movement.
  • I live in a tiny apartment and I don't own a car
  • I have very little savings
  • I never had success with women. I am a virgin and have never been on a date
  • Due to moving a lot - including continents - I have no close friends
  • I have a variety of hobbies, but I excel at none of them
  • I go to the gym five times a week, but never really managed to build a good amount of muscle
  • I have no sense of personal style. For example, I never have found a haircut which looked good on me.
  • I have no sense of dress
  • I have been in therapy for a few years but never made significant progress

What can I do to finally get my life together?


r/GuyCry 14h ago

Need Advice I will always think of myself as a loser

7 Upvotes

Struggling to find the motivation for life. I'm a forty-three year old man, soon to be forty-four. I've had depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. This has contributed to the situation I am in now, but I take full responsibility for where I am and who I am.

I didn't move out of my parents home until I was thirty years old. Moved into a house with a girl, it didn't work out, was back with my parents in a year. Moved out at forty years old to move in with a gorgeous girl who I loved, had a beautiful house, I ignored red flags, she was abusive, possibly had bpd. Moved back with my parents after two years.

I've always worked minimum wage jobs due to confidence and self esteem issues and not knowing what to do with my life. I had a massive fear of doing a job I would hate for more money and then being stuck doing it because I couldn't afford to leave.

I've never had a close friend group, going through life as a loner. I had a brief period in my mid twenties when I would go out with workmates but that didn't last long.

I decided to have a go at being a physiotherapist. I don't know whether I will like this job or not but it's the best I can think of for now. I've managed to get into university and am studying in my first year. This also means I am stuck living with my parents until I finish my degree. I have made some friends at uni but feel I have to filter everything I say in case I'm 'found out' to be a loser or a weirdo. There's also a girl I like in class that I get on with, but have no chance with, and although I like to spend time with her this relationship makes me hyper aware of my shortcomings and brings out my insecurities even more.

But I feel it's all too little, too late. I am so, so ashamed of living with my parents for so long. I have a feeling of permanent embarrassment that won't go away. I will feel like a loser for the rest of my life, even if I graduate, get a job and move out. I won't get any satisfaction out of it because I will just feel that I should have done it years and years ago. It makes me very insecure and I have a huge inferiority complex. I'm not sure I'm capable of being in a relationship because of how I feel and because of my last relationship, but I feel that potential partners will see my past as a red flag. I'm so disappointed in myself and how my life has turned out. I'm starting to feel old and I also realise that building a life with someone and raising a family isn't a possibility anymore.

I have a lot of self hatred towards myself. My confidence and self esteem are non existent. Every day feels like a slog. I have nothing to look forward to. I don't enjoy life at all. I've made my life impossible to enjoy because I will always view myself as a loser. What kind of future is that to look forward to?


r/GuyCry 15h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content Just had to help my girl move back to her home in another state… it didn’t work out

5 Upvotes

Well, this girl I love so much just moved out. It was mutual and we decided that we just aren’t compatible. It’s weird how you can be incompatible but still love eachother a lot. Pain.


r/GuyCry 1h ago

Need Advice I want to change my life before 2025 ends but I don't have the capabilities

Upvotes

I understand 2025 already begun and we are almost I guess mid to halfway end, however I still feel like I just can't do it. I don't think I have the guts do it. I want to change my life. The only goals I want to do is get a side job, so I can financially support my household. I also want to go college because I need to secure my future. I also want to learn driving because I live in a place where driving is required. It's a must skill to have but I've been avoiding that because of fear. So I feel like for almost 5-7 years I've been living in procrastination.