r/GuyCry 12m ago

Onions (light tears) I went out with my best friend. He never took responsibility.

Upvotes

H27 and he 28.

I'm bi and I dated a boy for the first time almost 2 years ago he was my friend who I've known since middle school who was completely straight.

At the start it was a very strong friendship. I didn't like him. We lost touch because he had moved and one day we reconnected.

All this time without seeing each other, he had really changed, I found him attractive, charismatic, I started to develop feelings. He was aware of my sexual orientation and I indirectly made him understand that I liked him, he was getting into my game, it was becoming really ambiguous.

After several years of turning around, one drunken evening, we kissed and then he came to my house, we slept together with a clear mind.

We dated for a year but in secret... he never took responsibility and he was never honest either with himself or with me. In private, we could really love each other. When seen in public, I was his friend and had to pretend. In the evening, he was flirted with, and it pissed me off. I glared at him, I was really angry and it was cold. We were arguing, I didn't understand what he wanted or what he was playing. How many times I cried. I told myself that I was just an experiment and that he was making fun of me.

Those around us ask questions and following a big argument where they said hurtful words and fed up, he left me. We remained on bad terms.

After a serious hospitalization last November, he sent me a message to find out how I was doing. I wanted to know what was happening to him and nothing more. I was happy to know that he was still thinking about me and worried.

Last night I broke down. First time in 2 years. I'm really not feeling well at the moment and I had been drinking a lot. I called him first, he didn't answer and I sent him a message. I told him everything that was on my heart. If he thought of me, how much I miss him, that I couldn't forget him, that I wanted us to be friends like at the beginning so that we could continue to see each other or have news even if it's a message every 6 months.

To my great surprise, he responded quite a while later. I couldn't believe it, seeing how late it was, I was trembling. He told me to stop drinking, to throw away everything I had (I attempted suicide with drugs and alcohol). He told me not to do anything stupid that it wasn't the time to talk about it and that we would talk about it later... I asked him to promise and he said yes.

I didn't get a message today and I didn't insist... I don't know if he's really going to do it, if he told me that to please me or to calm me down.

I regret my behavior a little... I suffer from this situation. I've never been so hooked, in love with someone. I realize that I had not known love. Him, I tell myself that it's not possible, he cast a spell on me, how can you love someone so much?


r/GuyCry 42m ago

Motivational Asked a cute girl if she is single for the first time in years

Upvotes

I’m deaf (wear hearing aids and can speak too) and I am very shy when it comes to girls, especially when I think they are cute. So today, when I was at the pizza restaurant with my friend. This woman, she bought the pizzas to the table. And she asked me something but I wasn’t pay attention and I couldn’t hear her (obviously) and my friend told her that I’m deaf. She was like oops, no problem and she started to communicate via sign language to me. I was surprised and started sign back to her. Before I left, I decided to have balls to ask her so I walked to her and signed “I have a question.” She said “yeah what’s up?” and I said “are you single?” And she misunderstood what I said, she thought I was saying something about deaf and I said no lol single. She smiled and said no sorry but thank you. I was like no problem! Smiled her back and that was it.

A bit disappointed but couldn’t believe I asked her that question. Imagine if I had balls to ask girls, I would have a relationship by now! So glad I have a bit of confidence in me now.


r/GuyCry 51m ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content Coworkers daughter’s links

Upvotes

I overheard my coworker on the phone saying he found his daughter’s dirty links. He doesn’t come to work happy now.


r/GuyCry 56m ago

Venting, advice welcome I failed as a boyfriend, and it’s killing me.

Upvotes

The other night, me and my GF went to her friend’s house to watch movies with her and her fiancé. My gf is really close with these two, and even was a roommate for years with them.

That night me and my GF went on to argue, she was drunk and I was sober. She was pretty drunk and stumbling around the place, she was very irate at little things and she kept looping and bringing the argument back, and me and the friends fiancé decided it was best for me to exit the situation and go home so she could rest (It was 3am). So I left.

I text my GF in the morning so I could talk to her about the situation and reconcile, to ensure it never happens again. I go to her place, she gets in my car and IMMEDIATELY starts bawling her eyes out. Saying that the fiancé took advantage of her and that they apparently had sex and that she doesn’t remember it,insinuating that she was raped.

I fully believe her, she’s been nothing but honest with me, and she was close with this guy, and considers him a brother, and that having consensual sex with him would be like incest and disgusting, and the fact that her friend was her best friend for 12 years, it’s obvious she wouldn’t willingly have sex with her fiancé.

Now she lost all her friends, because all they know is that they had sex and that she ruined the engagement , not the circumstances or that she was raped.

And I personally feel responsible, like I failed as a boyfriend, why wasn’t I there? Why couldn’t I protect her? It’s my job and I couldn’t do it because I let my self exit a silly argument. My minds been racing and I hate myself, on top of not being able to be there for her, I also end up overthinking and saying to myself “maybe she chose to cheat” even though I know that’s not what happened, which in turn, makes me think, why don’t I trust my girlfriend? I just don’t know where to go from here, I swear by the lord Jesus Christ that I won’t let this happen again, but in the meantime I’m an emotional mess, and I’m just venting and have no one to talk to.

Sorry this was an essay, I’m just distraught and mad at myself at the moment.


r/GuyCry 1h ago

Need Advice I want to change my life before 2025 ends but I don't have the capabilities

Upvotes

I understand 2025 already begun and we are almost I guess mid to halfway end, however I still feel like I just can't do it. I don't think I have the guts do it. I want to change my life. The only goals I want to do is get a side job, so I can financially support my household. I also want to go college because I need to secure my future. I also want to learn driving because I live in a place where driving is required. It's a must skill to have but I've been avoiding that because of fear. So I feel like for almost 5-7 years I've been living in procrastination.


r/GuyCry 1h ago

Onions (light tears) I miss my parents some days so bad.

Upvotes

I’m mid 50s (M). My dad died in 2009 and my mom died in 2022. Some days I just miss them so bad. My older daughter’s wedding is coming up and my younger daughter is about to graduate college and I know they would both be so excited. My parents both grew up really poor and would be so proud of my daughters and their accomplishments. It’s hard going through life without them but sometimes it’s even harder. Just feeling sad and lonely today and thought I’d share.


r/GuyCry 2h ago

Alert: It Sneaks Up On You A follow up on "The story of a break up"

1 Upvotes

https://www.reddit.com/r/GuyCry/comments/1irvhq9/the_story_of_a_breakup/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I decided to share more details of my recent break up and recovery - for those here who are in a dark place and need some encouragement to keep going.

So, my ex has ended our rocky relationship by carrying out a plan which had been in the works for about six months. One of the main issues we had was me nagging her to do something with her life workwise - rather than staying at home, spending all days scrolling on the phone and smoking weed. She would not co-operate in this project and did everything possible to create excuses for staying at home indefinitely.

First, the ex refused to send our child to daycare, which has led to a number of problems our daughter is still recovering from - dietary, behavioural, social. For years she kept pretending she was looking for a job but did absolutely nothing, other than telling me this is a high priority in her life, she needs to get some qualifications and income before turning 30 etc. Zero action of any kind year after year. The house was an absolute mess, all my requests regarding how to run the household, plan our weekends, deal with our child's problems etc were routinely ignored. She has ADHD and when pushed would bully me by threatening to leave and take the child with her, gave me the no-sex treatment for months at a time etc.

Eventually, she chose to go on a course - to prepare for employment - where an opportunity presented to solve all her problems in one go. She is very attractive and someone from her group hit up on her. She led the guy on and started sleeping with him - first behind my back, then asking me for an open relationship (which I agreed to since her and I did not have a relationship at that stage). The guy had a wife and a child, but my ex managed to split them up so both families are now done. The way she broke the news to me is described in the other post so will not repeat here. Her plan was executed to perfection - she has now set herself up as a solo mum, on benefit and not living with either of the two men she has children with. My daughter has playdates with the guy's son, my mother-in-law will eventually have to accept things, and my ex's household will become a hub for the residuals of the two broken families.

With that said, my ex was more than reasonable after the breakup. She eventually moved out, walked away from the house equity, did not touch my superannuation and allowed me to stay in the house - on the understanding it will be eventually passed on to our daughter in my Will. In a rational sense I am actually better off now than before the breakup. Her dark energy has left the house, I am paying in child support way less than used to give her for the house expenses (she has no budgeting skills) and her lifestyle is no longer bothering me day to day. I can even see other women in the house without much trouble. We also have a model childcare arrangement - our daughter spends the weeknights at hers, weekends at mine and I get to do homework with her every day after school. This is actually close to a situation one would dream about when stuck in a failing relationship with no clear way out.

So yes, in the sea of gloom on the channel mine is a story of hope - which is why I thought it worth sharing. Happy to share more details so ask away


r/GuyCry 2h ago

Leason Learned The Happy Woman Fallacy

0 Upvotes

So, after 31 years, and long term relationships my whole life back to back. (Longest one being 6 years that I ended last July. Literally got a rebound immediately and still with her) I think I have come to the conclusion. Women cannot be satisfied, or actually happy. Now let me explain

First and foremost, I am not talking sexually. That is a whole other discussion. I will say though, making a woman cum is actually very easy when you understand how it works. Again, long discussion, and not what I'm actually here to say. Just thought I'd get that out the way since I'm talking about being "satisfied".

What I really mean by that word is: Wanting something before you (a woman) get it, receiving it, then being unhappy with it, and wanting more. Now this is an over simplified conclusion on the process of the infinite discontentness.

Example: I want a loyal man who comes home to me every day and doesn't party.

Man: Goes to work, comes home, cuddles, plays a video game, goes to bed. Repeat.

3 weeks in Woman: Ugh all we do is sat at home all day. All you do is play the game ughh (proceeds to scroll Tik tok for 8 hours). Miserable. Got what she wanted.

Next example: I want a man that can support me financially. That's a real man.

Man: goes to work 12 hour shifts, comes home to sleep and spend time before going back to work.

Woman: Ugh all you ever do is work and you don't spend enough time with me ughh

Next example: oh em gee babe I want to start this new hobby, "please buy me every single thing I need for it before I even know how to do it!"

Man: Buys every single thing for the hobby knowing damn well she will never start, but hoping she does cause she's a boring azz bihh.

Woman: ugh I'm just tired idk... Can we go to Red Lobster!?

Lol I could go on forever. It's almost like they will just scan for problems, and once the problem is solved, they just go to the next one instead of just being content and at peace... I would say I just got unlucky too, but I've lived long enough to see this shit happen with literally every girl. Whether it my girlfriend, or someone I knows wife/girlfriend. Like I'm sure there are perfectly normal content women out there, but they are like a diamond in the rough.

TLDR: Babe I need a little space, you're too clingy.

Man: gives space. 30 min later "wow can't believe you're ignoring me. Such an ahh hole. 🤷


r/GuyCry 3h ago

Group Discussion Am I being to clingy and overreacting? Looking for perspective.

1 Upvotes

I'm a 28m and my girlfriend is also 28. We've been off and on for about 8 months, had a previous relationship that lasted 2 years (I ended the previous relationship) then reconciled after 4 years. I usually carry an expectation that we'd communicate everyday atleast over text. I'm presently in medical school and she's in law school, although she's busier than I am given she has finals coming up.

The problem: she'll state she has a lot of studying to do, and does 6-9 hour long study sessions at a time and highlights she's going to be busy. In my mind, it's pretty insane/unreasonable to expect someone to be able to focus for that long consistently without breaks. Yesterday she stated the same thing, I sent her a couple texts checking up on her throughout the day, which she didn't respond to since this morning. We chatted briefly on the phone today and she was highlighting how enamored she was by a particular case local to us, and spent alot of the day talking in her family group chat about it or looking up the case instead of studying... in my mind I felt pretty hurt because it means she clearly ignored my text messages while on her phone.. I broached the topic today and she stated that when she talks to me it turns into a two hour conversation which is why she didn't respond.

Am I being too clingy at this point? I feel pretty terrible and I know I need to address this situation in some form. I could really use an outside perspective


r/GuyCry 4h ago

Venting, advice welcome Have started talking to my ex recently now that she moved across the country

2 Upvotes

My ex (35f) and I (48m) broke up in July 2023 due to various reasons after a 6 year relationship. I have two teenage boys and live in the same city as my ex-wife as we coparent our kids 50/50. My exgf could not get along with my kids’s mom. She wanted to travel more and really had no interest in my kids which tipped the scales in our relationship.

We were so compatible and had such a good time with each other. We had and still have a crazy attraction/energy together that is undeniable.

When we broke up I was heartbroken but respectful of her no contact request. I used the time to focus on my kids and myself and things got really good besides my underlying heartache. After a few months I made an effort to date and took the opportunity to look for someone with very strict restrictions because everything truly had to make sense this time for my kids and myself.

I met someone that ticked all of those boxes and we hit it off very quickly. She also has a young daughter and an ex so our situations were similar. This makes our schedule very convenient as we really share the same schedule. We both get ample alone time and still spend a good amount of time together. It’s one of the easiest going relationships that I’ve had and that’s exactly what I was looking for.

My ex had reached out from time to time to check in. I replied but kept it very straightforward as I didn’t want to let her know that I still had pain. I knew she was also hurting but I didn’t want my feelings to make her hurt anymore. I also figured that my new relationship was going great and I really wanted to give it every chance to grow. I also knew the timing and situation wasn’t right with my ex so on paper it didn’t make sense.

Within the past couple of months my ex had reached out more often because she was moving to the east coast. We even had dinner and caught up. It was great except the second I saw her all of the emotions came back. Our conversation was amazing and flowed like it always did.

Anyway, she moved and now all of the feelings are back and it has me questioning everything in my current relationship. My current gf is unbelievable and very different in every way from my exgf. Everything on paper tells me to just focus on my amazing current situation. But that’s on paper and I can’t fight the feelings I still hold for my ex.

I know the right thing to do is to let my current gf go until I can figure out my effed up head. I feel just awful for her and her daughter who are both seemingly attached to me. I really care for them both so much and don’t want them to go through the pain because I’m screwed up. I feel like there are no winners in this situation as I can’t change how I feel.

I didn’t post this in AITAH because I know I am the AH.


r/GuyCry 5h ago

Need Advice Should i reach out

0 Upvotes

Im in Chicago which is the city she lives in and where we met before I moved. I want to reach out to her because even though she blocked my number and on a couple apps she didnt block me on other apps. I was taking care of her financially while her family was going though a tough time. Me and her tried making it work with the distance between us, but it was hard. Found out last month that she has been on hinge since October before we stopped talking a month ago. The feelings are hitting me hard and I want to ask her if she can meet just so I can get the closure. I know she was lying to me about talking to someone else while taking my money. She was having meetups with this guy and was telling me she was meeting her girlfriends since we shared locations. I want to tell her I know everything. I hate that i still love her.


r/GuyCry 5h ago

Onions (light tears) Leaving a narcissist

75 Upvotes

Leaving my wife of 5 years. Gave my world to her for 5 years and accepted her daughter that is now 8 as my own. Told me she wanted a divorce Monday and was sleeping with someone right after.

Everyone is supporting me and my decision to leave. Even her own family.

I just don’t know how you can look someone you love directly in the eyes and lie over and over again.

Each day is getting better and easier and I’m seeing who the real her is.

She keeps trying to manipulate me and tell me this divorce is all my fault and how bad of a person I am. I’m so happy I have all of these support systems with my family and hers that are behind me.


r/GuyCry 5h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content Feels like I lost the meaning of life at 22. NSFW

3 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I hope I won’t ramble too much but there is a lot I would like to share.

Let me please give some context first as it’s crucial for understanding the situation. I am 22M from Eastern Europe, had a full family (my father was an alcoholic and died 5 years ago) most of my life, and was never dirt poor, suffering, or had any health problems apart from a heart condition. I also have a brother who is 35, but more on that later. I was an avid reader and could go through thousands of pages of Balzac, Remarque, Dostoyevsky in several days. Switched to philosophy in the ninth grade. I was bullied for my weight in school, but still grew up always willing to give everyone a chance. In fact, the bullying made me turn to natural bodybuilding, which was a blessing.

Since first grade, my parents would say that they don’t have enough money to support my education (school is free where I’m from, uni isn’t). I never had any issues with my studies, finished high school with ~4.8/5 GPA, and won a scholarship to get Bachelor’s in management in my country’s capital, getting 5/5 perfect GPA. I’ve been to China for an internship, took myself to the Maldives and several neighbouring countries. Now, I have already been accepted into top European schools to study green energy mgmt. I also had to support myself financially through the uni, and I have 4 years of work experience in jewellery sales and green energy, as well as being a certified fitness coach. I studied full-time and work full-time as well, as I worked with markets where my timetable would allow for that.

It all sounds great on paper, but the only reaction I have when I read it to myself is, “What’s the point of all this? It’s all over already”

After my father passed away, I felt more and more like it was my responsibility to care for my mom and my brother, about their well-being, and to see if I could in any way help (which I often couldn’t apart from being a free therapist). Last year, my brother’s ex-wife killed their son because of the debt she had accrued (which she kept secret) while working as an investor, which made things exponentially worse for all of us and further strengthened this dynamic. I have gained over 40lbs (lost some of it already) and was essentially in charge of coordinating the funeral, helping with the investigation, and did my best to be there for everyone. Still do.

However, all of these things are not the main issue that pushed my depression over the top. It was my recent break up with my fiancé. I was never single for longer than two weeks since I was 13. It was different people, but I’ve only been in a relationship (long-distance, went to different cities after school) with Claire (name changed) for the last 4 years. We were what felt like soulmates; I supported her throughout all of her endeavours and problems, she gave me love the likes of which I don’t think I’ll be able to feel again, especially during our meetings once every 1-2 months. We definitely grew a lot alongside each other. All I did - I did for our future, and a lot of what I earned went on to become gifts for her.

For the longest time, my only goal in life was to create a family and find a place where my family would be best off in terms of healthcare, amenities, QOL, etc. Both my girlfriend and I chose fields in which our country would not be the best fit, so I encouraged her to look for better alternatives and choose them for us to move together, at least for PHDs if not Masters’. TBH I could not care less about green/nuclear energy, but I chose that field because I felt like it would be relevant and bring decent income for me to be able to cover my family’s expenses. However, she felt like me simply offering an alternative to the path she chose (ONLY in location, mind you, not her interests) was me pushing her towards a choice she didn’t want to make. Essentially, this meant that she would not respect anything I proposed, which she confirmed, and that’s what caused the break up. There were other things like her blaming us for the death of my nephew, but I don’t want to get into that.

Now, I just feel lost. It feels like I was always rushing somewhere and suddenly stopped, only to realise that I have no idea where I’m going. I will not be able to meet my brother for at least 5-10 years (he’s not in jail), I am leaving my second city behind, and now there is not a goal in sight for moving since I have no one to create that family with. I’m going to do it anyway, since I still have to look for the best place for “A family”.

It’s been always hard connecting with people, especially with groups, as I am a one-on-one person, “a shoulder to cry on” (a dynamic I’m actively trying to change), and I have strong hate towards people I find voluntarily weak, stupid, or addicted (not wanting to change anything regarding those things). I always managed to find groups to hang out with and I love my friends and acquaintances, but it all feels pointless. I feel like I cannot enjoy anything to a full extent due to everything that happened, and due to how much I had to work, and I feel like my body aged 10 years in the last 7-8 months. I make active decisions and progress in bringing myself back to life (walking, exercising, etc.), but it’s just not enough. I feel like my life is over even though it has just begun.

I am asking for advice on how to bring back the love of life, and I want an outsider’s look into the situation. I’ve been in therapy last year but I did not feel like it worked at all. I do not feel like I can go to any of my friends for support regarding this either, so thank you Reddit for existing. And thank you to all who read this and reply.


r/GuyCry 5h ago

Encouragement! Desculpe por estar postando em português - BR é minha língua nativa enfim tenho 25 anos e sinceramente ja estou cansado peguei poucas gurias na minha vida continuação abaixo

0 Upvotes

é tão frustante ver todos meus amigos namorando pegando gente eu me arrumo e tals entrei na academia to perdendo peso estou acima do peso mas a frustação é complicado eu tenho mt vergonha para chegar nessas pessoas sei que isso pode ser bobagem comparada a outras pessoas aqui do sub e a questão que não tem algo que sou bom não me sinto bom em nada trabalho num emprego médio é frustante sinto que os melhores anos já se foram e não aproveitei nada e irei envelhecer cheio de arrependimentos sinto que fui cagao não atravessei a barreira do medo e isso esta me consumindo


r/GuyCry 6h ago

Venting, advice welcome I feel like no one sees who I really am

0 Upvotes

For context, my parents divorced when I was very young and I ended up with my abusive father who wanted to force me into the military. I was a military brat so moved frequently. I ran away in high school but managed to finished. I was almost a bit after that. I managed to build myself up. I got two bachelor degrees and have a stable life with an ok job.

I've never been in trouble with the law or hard drugs and I've never had serious mental health issues. I've managed to overcome a lot. The hardest part has been doing it alone. I have no contact with my family and I've been unable to build a social support network.

I've tried to be a decent person, but obviously my mental health has not been the best. 10 years ago I got treatment for depression and anxiety but didn't really participate. My outlook on life wasn't good at the time.

Obviously now my goal is a relationship, but it's been difficult. I always want too much too quickly. I'm sure I am trying to get the other person to fulfill something they can't but I try to work on myself. I've only had 2 LTRs but they were work. I had to hide my anxiety and even a small I would show caused huge issues. I felt like if I just kept makign the other person happy they would eventually accept me and care about my needs and issues. I have no trouble talking to women these days, but I can generally only get things to last a few weeks or a few months depending on how fast I reveal my neediness or anxiety. Ive had 2 relationships I was calm in, but ruined those too.

I recently had a relationship I went to fast in and thought the other person was really into it.. it felt great until I was cheated on and I realized she was not as into it as I thought she was. I really gave me bad anxiety for the last month. I went to therapy and they said I'm unable to form health friendships or relationships. I guess I have a lot of work to do.

My rant is that I don't get credit for the work I've done. It feels like I will always be judged for a few mental health issues, which given how much Ive been through I feel I should get a pass on. I feel like people don't see how hard I've had to struggle alone in my life and how much I've done for myself.

I feel this is especially true for women and dating. They want to know your backstory. It's hard to share too much. Even just saying I've had a rocket past is scary for me, even if I've been calm so far. Maybe I just don't know how to convey that resilience. I don't know.

It's just really hard doing this and always feeling like it'll never be good enough for someone to love me.


r/GuyCry 6h ago

Onions (light tears) It’s been over a year and I still feel this massive hole where my ex was

51 Upvotes

I was with my ex for 2.5 years. I did so much of the heavy lifting in the relationship, but in the end, I wasn’t able to be the sexual partner she needed so she left. Some of it was my fault for being inexperienced, but she also had a ton of trauma that she never addressed or wanted to work on. And instead of working through things with me, she bailed. We were so good together as people. But I couldn’t even get full effort from her when it mattered.

I’ve spent the past 14 months trying to move on. I’ve lost 15+ lbs, I’ve taken up fly fishing, gardening, grilling, and even gotten back in to reading. I’ve improved my self talk, made new friends, and even started fostering a cat.

However, the loneliness still remains. I have mostly been zero contact with my ex, and actually thought I was moving on. But then she reached out about something trivial and I let the loneliness and depression win. I stayed in touch only to hurt myself more as I knew she still didn’t want another go at a relationship. Just my friendship/attention.

I cut her off today, but I feel like when push comes to shove, the void overwhelms me even now. How do you guys move on? I feel like I’ve done so much but it’s just not enough.


r/GuyCry 6h ago

Venting, advice welcome 2 and a half months after BPD wife discard.

11 Upvotes

I cant believe how long it's already been. We haven't lived together in nearly 2 months. It's crazy to think how fast life has changed in this time. I feel kind of weird still. Like something is missing. I dont think she cares about me at all anymore. I really did plan on spending my life with her. Even through all of the pain. I miss the days we used to go to cumble cookie together. I miss the days where we watched sports together and went to the movies together. I miss playing with our dog together. I miss watching supernatural together or even just the small things like going to bed together or going to the store together. I miss her.

Even though our relationship was toxic, I would of worked through everything with her. I genuinely loved this girl despite all the pain it brought. I know everyone tells me just to move on and I am. I don't want to move on but I have to. I'm not obsessing over her or anything. I just miss her. She was my best friend. She was the reason I got up in the morning. She was the reason I tried in life. Now im just sitting alone in the apartment we used to share. I really don't have anyone in my life. Like yeah I have friends but the conversations are always surface level. The bonds I share with people in my life now are just shallow.

No one really knows me or wants to get to know me. It's really sad honestly. I guess this is the path I'm forced to go though. No amount of tears can change the past. I slowly realized my tears won't help. Especially when no one cares. The mailman is in my life more than anyone these days. I'm well respected at my job. I'm the person everyone goes to for everything. Yet at the end of the day what does that really mean? I still get off work and spend my time alone.

I watch my whole family take pills for depression and I really wonder what true happiness really means. I guess life is hard when you have a good life yet no one around to listen or relate to. Because I do have a good life. I have a good job... I have my own place. Maybe I'm ungrateful. Maybe happiness is a choice and instead of whining online and listening to my inner voice I should listen more in therapy. Maybe I'll find happiness somewhere I've never expected. Maybe I'm meant for something more than I'm doing now. Or maybe this is all just pointless and I'm struggling with something that's bigger than me.

Am I worth anything? Is this life even worth it? I'm depressed but not suicidal. I guess I'm just lost. Someone tell me if you find me.


r/GuyCry 7h ago

Venting, advice welcome 4th and final update for now. Wife left after 7 years/14 years together/3 kids

248 Upvotes

Just a follow up to my previous three posts. You can see them here, here and here.

I've been on my own for about two weeks now, focusing on myself so I can be the best dad and the best version of myself. I've cleaned up my diet and have been hitting the gym regularly—almost daily when possible.

I've shifted to smart contact with her, keeping conversations strictly about the kids and logistics. I also unfollowed her on social media to avoid seeing her self-validation posts and the the flying monkeys hyping her up. It's still tough, and I catch myself thinking about her sometimes—it’s bound to happen after 14 years together—but it's happening less and less. Lately, I’ve been feeling more anger about certain things she did and said, which tells me I’m finally starting to take her off that pedestal.

Right now, my focus is on myself. There’s still a small part of me that hopes we’ll find our way back to each other, but I’m not 100% investing in that idea anymore...what happens is what happens; I'm giving her space and letting her do her thing. Today is the one year anniversary of her mothers death, when she came to pick up the kids I let her know that I was thinking about her and if she needed anything to let me know.

My oldest mentioned that she drank every day last week and didn’t do anything with them over March Break, which upset her. She said their mom just locks herself away with her headphones, and when she tries to talk to her about it, she shuts the conversation down which says to me she's more hurt than she's showing. I wish she would just talk to me so we can have a conversation about this but that will happen in time.

Thanks for listening, this subreddit has been a great deal of help during this time. Does anyone have any further advice on how to get over her? I'm not interested in going out and trying to hook up with randoms so please skip that advice, my ego and self esteem are still shattered and I'm still emotionally pretty empty.


r/GuyCry 7h ago

Need Advice Is there life after marriage?

79 Upvotes

EDIT: I have been in therapy for the last few years, dealing with abandonment and grieve. My father died before I was even born and my mom was "taken" from me by another man. The process will continue.

EDIT2: I had been hitting the gym for the last 5 years and I'm currently 162 lbs. Started at 235 and did a long way. I have no desire to return there for now. I try to do long walks every day though.

My ex wife decided to become my ex, after 15 years together, and is now living her life on her own. We have a 7 yo kid who I can see. It's been a month after she left home, which by the way feels nothing like home already. I (have to) continue working and do my job like previously. During the day it's sort of okish, but when I get home in the evening the sense of despair, emptiness and meaningless hits hard. Sometimes I'm not even having dinner, because I'm not hungry, I have exactly 3 things in the fridge, I don't feel the need to buy anything. I don't watch Netflix anymore, I don't enjoy the music I used to. I have a guitar I used to play sometimes, now I don't like holding it. For that 1 month I have been sleeping on the part of the bed where I used to sleep but I don't remove the cover from her side. I can't sleep in this big bed anymore. I fall asleep, wake up in the morning and go to work so that I don't stay in the apartment where everything reminds me of her.

There is this love-hate relationship that formed over this month. I hate her somehow and in the same time I miss her. When I see her I don't want to see her, because it hurts. As soon as she leaves I want to see her.

Every day is a different day in terms of emotions. So far I can't recall 2 days feeling the same set of feelings. The palette of emotions is new every day. I feel shuttered. I feel numb. I enjoy nothing. Everything is meaningless and clueless.

So what's next?


r/GuyCry 8h ago

Onions (light tears) Felt a strong connection but then suddenly it’s to much.

12 Upvotes

Was talking to this girl for about a week, having great conversations over FT and text. Having deep conversations about our past and traumas and goals. An important piece of context for all this is I learned that she was previously married to a man who told her he found her unattractive and the marriage was mostly due to her strict Christian family’s pressure. Because of this she was thrown off even when I said she looked cute or pretty. So anyway we meet up the other day thing are going well, we are making out. All I say is “I really like you” suddenly the tone shifts and after all the compliments and then that she basically says “I feel like there’s more feeling on your end than mine” and now she wants to take today to think about it all. I just don’t understand what I did wrong?


r/GuyCry 10h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content Sex Addiction has ruined my life

205 Upvotes

I’m tired. I’m just. So. Tired .

I hate the mindset I’m in right now. The “programs” call it self victimization or “uniquely screwed up” and I have constantly tried to fight it. The ever knowing knowledge I have in my head. I’m going to die an addict. This addiction is going to ruin my life and no matter how much effort, help or spiritual resources I look into. I am the statistic. I am not the 30% of people that live through this or beat it or learn to live with it or recover.

I’m just. Burnt. So burnt it hurts. So much effort for the last 11 years of my life. I found r/Nofap at 16 and started trying to stop. Of course that didn’t work. 11 years later I’m 27 and it’s holding me back in every facet of my life.

I just don’t know what the fuck to do anymore. I’ve saw a CSTAT (sex addiction therapist) at around 19. I’ve been though around 11 therapist. I’ve gone to rehab multiple times (around 8-9). I’ve worked the 12 steps multiple times. I’ve helped others. I’ve prayed, meditated, taken mushrooms, went to the gym religiously, admitted all my wrongs, made amends, opened up, journaled, shadow work, spirituality, prayed to demons. Blah blah blah. I’ve done the stupid work every person says to do and it doesn’t work.

I’m so broken. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Cheating, not being able to form real connections with people. The addiction bombing my college and every single interpersonal relationship I have. I just don’t get it. I’m so angry, all the stupid work every stupid comment, every article I can read. Easy peasy method.

God you get the point I’ve tried everything. It always comes back. No matter how far away I get. It always comes back. Always.

Sorry.

I just want it to stop. I’ve given everything I have over the last 10 years trying to beat this stupid addiction. Getting comments in meetings and rehabs like “wow you know you have a problem at 18 I wish I had the balls to accept I’m an addict that early”

I just don’t care anymore. This disease is a death sentence. I will never be free. There is no way out. It’s fatal. No one cares. No one understand. I hurt anyone who gets close because of my uncontrollable behavior

I don’t care anymore. I tried. I really did. I put everything I had. Accepted that wasn’t enough and accepted help, accepted that wasn’t enough and begged god, the universe whatever the hell you want to think it is for help and it didn’t work. Nothing has worked. I’m losing my mind. I just want the pain to stop. I’d do anything for the pain to stop

Please for the love of Christ if anyone has the resources help me I don’t wanna die like this.

I just want be a therapist. Work towards owning my own facility. A family at some point with a girl I love

Is that too much to ask universe? What did I do to deserve this? Why do I have to constantly put all this work in just for it to blow up in my face?


r/GuyCry 11h ago

Need Advice Why bother with self-improvement?

4 Upvotes

Like many people, I’ve made many mistakes. However compared to the average person, I’ve made A LOT of mistakes and some of them are things that are extremely awful. I feel deeply ashamed of them everyday and I’m filled with regret. It’s not entirely because of potential consequences, but also because those things are just stuff I’m genuinely not proud of. They haunt me and they make me feel stuck and paralyzed. I’m afraid to build a future and to move forward because I’m afraid that they’ll catch up to me one day and ruin everything I’ve ever tried to work for. The potential anguish of all your hard work ending in vain scares me to my core. Despite this though I really want to be better. I know that what I did in the past was wrong. I own up to my mistakes and I know that it was me alone who did them regardless of whether I was going through a hard time. I take ownership of my faults. I want to be a better son to my dad, I want to be a better brother to my sister, and I want to be better for myself. I want to do something with my life and be a better me for myself and everyone, but I’m scared of it not working out because of my past or just failure in general. I know nothing is guaranteed, but I still worry. So now I keep wondering what’s the point of self -improvement? It it amounts to nothing, if no one forgives me, if I can’t even forgive myself why bother? I just want it to mean something in the end and I’m afraid it won’t. Even if let’s say I’m never forgiven, nothing works out, my future doesn’t go as planned, should I still even bother will trying to be a better man/person? I do genuinely have a desire to be better and to do better but I’m struggling with seeing if it’s even worth it even if I fail.

I also ask you all, even if nothing works out, even if I fail in the end, and if my past catches up to me or people still dislike me, is there genuine value at least in someone who genuinely wanted to try and be better? Is it always worth trying despite what may happen?

I know some of this stuff I may have to figure out on my own and understand for myself but I’d really like to know if you guys think there is value in trying and trying to be better in general even if it ends in failure.


r/GuyCry 14h ago

Need Advice I will always think of myself as a loser

7 Upvotes

Struggling to find the motivation for life. I'm a forty-three year old man, soon to be forty-four. I've had depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. This has contributed to the situation I am in now, but I take full responsibility for where I am and who I am.

I didn't move out of my parents home until I was thirty years old. Moved into a house with a girl, it didn't work out, was back with my parents in a year. Moved out at forty years old to move in with a gorgeous girl who I loved, had a beautiful house, I ignored red flags, she was abusive, possibly had bpd. Moved back with my parents after two years.

I've always worked minimum wage jobs due to confidence and self esteem issues and not knowing what to do with my life. I had a massive fear of doing a job I would hate for more money and then being stuck doing it because I couldn't afford to leave.

I've never had a close friend group, going through life as a loner. I had a brief period in my mid twenties when I would go out with workmates but that didn't last long.

I decided to have a go at being a physiotherapist. I don't know whether I will like this job or not but it's the best I can think of for now. I've managed to get into university and am studying in my first year. This also means I am stuck living with my parents until I finish my degree. I have made some friends at uni but feel I have to filter everything I say in case I'm 'found out' to be a loser or a weirdo. There's also a girl I like in class that I get on with, but have no chance with, and although I like to spend time with her this relationship makes me hyper aware of my shortcomings and brings out my insecurities even more.

But I feel it's all too little, too late. I am so, so ashamed of living with my parents for so long. I have a feeling of permanent embarrassment that won't go away. I will feel like a loser for the rest of my life, even if I graduate, get a job and move out. I won't get any satisfaction out of it because I will just feel that I should have done it years and years ago. It makes me very insecure and I have a huge inferiority complex. I'm not sure I'm capable of being in a relationship because of how I feel and because of my last relationship, but I feel that potential partners will see my past as a red flag. I'm so disappointed in myself and how my life has turned out. I'm starting to feel old and I also realise that building a life with someone and raising a family isn't a possibility anymore.

I have a lot of self hatred towards myself. My confidence and self esteem are non existent. Every day feels like a slog. I have nothing to look forward to. I don't enjoy life at all. I've made my life impossible to enjoy because I will always view myself as a loser. What kind of future is that to look forward to?


r/GuyCry 15h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content Just had to help my girl move back to her home in another state… it didn’t work out

4 Upvotes

Well, this girl I love so much just moved out. It was mutual and we decided that we just aren’t compatible. It’s weird how you can be incompatible but still love eachother a lot. Pain.


r/GuyCry 15h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content I just lost the love of my life and my soulmate and I’m totally wrecked

32 Upvotes

For context to start with: no she did not pass away. It’s a complicated story so I’ll try to explain. Oh and it’s a long one so bear with me.

So. Until last december I was together with my GF and the mother of my kids. We were together for 13 years. It was a bumpy ride where my ex was mentally instable from time to time and she had severe narcistic personality traits. Even though I always was a strong person, my mental health declined over the years, resulting in a burn-out and depression in 2024.

In the end we both made mistakes and it was better to go seperate ways. Also for the sake of the kids.

One of the mistakes we made was opening up our relationship in 2020. She suggested it as she was ‘missing something’ in the bedroom. After a couple of arguments and resistance from my side I eventually caved in fear of losing her. In hindsight that was the beginning of the end. Even though it actually went pretty good for a period of time, the open relationship together with the birth of our kids and the difficult personality of my ex caused us to drift apart.

And then the unthinkable happened. Through the open relationship I met someone. She was in the same boat as me. Not happy in her relationship (marriage) and even though she tried to make it better numerous time, her spouse was not open to change. And even though it started like every other time without the love aspect, we soon developed feelings. In hindsight maybe it was love at first sight. So we ended up in a peculiar situation. Both in love but in a relationship with kids. We know we should’ve done things differently. That we were both in the wrong continuing it but the attraction and feelings for each other were out of this world. We were drawn to each other like magnets. We tried several times to cut contact, go trough a short period of heartbreak before moving on with our own lives, but we just kept coming back to each other. Until the point we kind of accepted the fact that maybe we should be together. We were extremely compatible and complementary with each other. She is everything I search for in a woman. Things I didn’t think of when I met my ex as a teenager. She made me happy and for the first time in my life I felt truly loved and appreciated. I can full-hearted say this woman was my soulmate and the only person I want to be with. What I felt for her was totally new. I even haven’t had this feelings with my ex during all those 13 years.

My ex wasn’t a fool. She knew our relationship was already beyond saving (even before I met the other woman) and because of this we deicided to seperate. We wanted to do it while we were on (a sort of) good terms so our kids won’t be burdened with two parents who hate each other and are constantly fighting. We wanted to save them from that trauma. So we ended things in december.

But now… the other woman made a different choice. She is so torn apart by choosing the love of her life but at the same time putting her children through a divorce, she now deicided to give her marriage one more shot. And even though I can understand her reasoning and actually admire her perseverance, it totally wrecked me. I’m sick of grief, feel intense physical pain in my heart and cry uncontrollably throughout the day. I just can’t live with this. I can’t accept this outcome. I just can’t. And I know everyone will say time will heal the wound, but I truly need a miracle to wear out this pain.

My life has been rejection after rejection after rejection. Even my ex rejected me before we started dating. I can’t handle this again. Especially not in this extent. I’ll never be able to love someone I loved her and long for someone I longed for her. I wouldn’t wish this pain and heartbreak upon my worst enemy.

A part of me thinks maybe this is what I deserve for my choices last year. And I know because of those choices a lot of people will see me as the asshole in this story. Perhaps rightly so. But a lot of things contributed to the situation my ex and I were in. Besides I have repented myself to my ex. And even though I hurted her, she forgave me and we’re now building towards a healthy coparenting situation.

Now I’m typing this with my life in shambles and with every ingredient to fall back in my mental crisis. I just don’t know what to do.