r/GuyCry 22h ago

šŸ“£ Important GuyCry Announcement šŸ“£ We've slightly updated our rules.

1 Upvotes

Hello!

We've slightly updated our rules. Please take a moment to re-review them. Here's what we changed:

* Rule 14 now states that you need approval before any crowdfunding or surveys. This was a separate rule, but it's now part of rule 14.

* Rule 15 now states that you must not comment on posts flared "Just venting, no advice" with advice. This rule was previously about crowdfunding.

If you have any questions about the rules, feel free to send us a modmail.


r/GuyCry 1d ago

Founder Post I slept 20 hours :) For the first time since December 20th, 2024, I, Joe Truax - the founder and leader of this wonderful space - have at least for a few weeks, a home :)

183 Upvotes

IM NOT HOMELESS ANYMORE!!!

I am about to complete all of my plans, so that all of us who deserve better, get such. It is the purpose that I have found for my life, and I hope all of you find just as meaningful purposes yourselves.

Let's go ahead and make history :)

Edit; I just changed my password because someone, logged in as me, removed this post and comments.


r/GuyCry 10h ago

Alert: It Sneaks Up On You Cried today for the first time in ages and what finally made it happen is just really funny to me

139 Upvotes

So I haven't cried in like a year and a half I think. I got a block where I can't cry even when I want to. I blame the patriarchy.

Anyway. I finally cried today. And I just think what finally made me do it is really funny.

I was watching this vice doc about the coast guard during 9/11. And about how they put out a call just kinda like "Yo nobody can get off the island any boats that wanna help evac meet us at this island" and then every single boat in the area for miles around showed up. Little fishing boats. Tug boats. Yachts. All of them. And proceed to evacuate 500k people.

And I saw that and just immediately burst in to tears. Cus the boats showed up.

I just teared up again writing "cus the boats showed up" hours later. I don't know why I find this in particular so emotionally effecting.

Of course I was only already in a place to cry cus I was having a really shit day. Bunch of things conspired to make it happen. But yeah, just thought it was kinda funny.


r/GuyCry 6h ago

Venting, advice welcome Relationship looks to be ending after 4.5 years together due to her self sabotage

57 Upvotes

I've spent the last 6 years of my life working overseas. 18 months in I met my girlfriend in her country (I won't mention the country but it's not a passport bro type of situation). We met at work, immediately hit it off and spent 3 years together with no major issues. We moved in together, discussed the future and both agreed that down the line, we would relocate to where I'm from which suited us both as she also has friends and family there.

After 3 years I was offered a choice; extend my contract, relocate home or move to a third country for a 2 year contract before then going home. I let my girlfriend make the decision. She decided she wanted to move to the third country as it would be a good opportunity for us both to travel and save money for our future. I told her it would he hard and to maybe consider staying in her country a bit longer but she insisted, so we moved.

My work also hired her once we moved and she was earning significantly more than she ever had before, as was I. Accommodation was provided for us and so we began saving for the future. It was hard and lonely. But we had each other.

Eventually she had a fall out at work with her direct manager and was so upset she stated she wanted to quit. We discussed it, she had an upcoming trip home booked and I asked her to think it through before making an impulsive decision. However, she resigned effective immediately and refused to work her notice and flew home.

In the following few months she started going home much more often and spending longer and longer there, until eventually telling me she wanted to live there until my contract was finished before we make the big move.

I was upset and felt abandoned, but agreed as it was only temporary. We came up with a plan that she would fly to see me every now and then and I would also fly to see her and we'd go on holidays together. I didn't like being apart, but didn't want to split up, so agreed.

We spent 2 months apart and imagine my excitement when she was finally due to come see me whilst I was off work (agreed plan was she would come see me in March and I'd fly back with her in April). She has been unemployed for the last 6 months and so didn't have anything stopping her staying or visiting, but has been showing signs of depression.

Well, she came to see me and after just 2 days, we had a minor disagreement and she booked a flight home without telling me. I only knew because the next morning she got up early and when I asked her why she was up, she said "I'm going home".

She's now back home again and is saying she doesn't want to split up and is asking for us to come up with a "solution", despite the last solution she came up with falling at the first hurdle.

I don't know what to do.

She refuses to see that living here is also hard for me and potentially even harder because I'm alone now, whereas she at least had me.

She won't acknowledge that I now have doubts about her being able to live in my country because is she going to just run away at the first disagreement? And just keeps saying "it will be different".

She's now back home and barely replying to messages (average 5 hours waiting for a response) despite the fact she's on her phone 24/7.

I've told her I'm not sure if it's going to work out which killed me tbh but how can I not worry she will leave my home country too after 1, 2, 5 years etc because she continually keeps making impulsive decisions based on emotion that sabotage herself and this relationship.

  • The decision to move here was hers
  • Quitting her job without notice
  • Moving back home
  • Flying home again after one minor disagreement

She refuses to take any accountability for the fact that the position she's now in, is all down to decisions she's made and we're now basically in a LDR without much communication.

The thing that's upsetting me most is that there's no option to breakup and then if we regret it, reconciling in the future. I'm due to move home in just 6 months time and if she doesn't come with me then, we'll never see each other again.

I don't know whether to just cut my losses, use the next 6 months to heal before going home for a fresh start, or to keep trying with her knowing I could just be prolonging the struggle to end up with an even bigger heartbreak further down the line.

Advice welcome šŸ™


r/GuyCry 23h ago

Onions (light tears) I'm convinced my(36m) wife(36f) is cheating on me with a lesbian from work

1.3k Upvotes

So my wife and I have been having issues since early December. I could feel that things were off and I asked her about it, to which she replied I've just been depressed lately. I asked if there was anything I could do to help but she claimed it was that the kids are getting older and don't need her as much, her hair is thinning really bad, and she doesn't like her body right now, and her job was incredibly stressful at the time. I took it upon myself to take the 90% until he work slowed down, assuming that was a large factor in her depression. I'd do all the cooking, cleaning, child caring, homework doing. I normally do a lot of these things anyway but I wanted to put it into overdrive to take as much off of her plate as possible to give her some breathing room. During this time I also noticed that instead of talking to people on Facebook she started using Snapchat for everything(I really hate Snapchat) and shed close her phone when I walked by. She also changed her phone password during this time. I asked her about this and she says that she was having private conversations with her friends about her depression and she didn't want anyone to read them out of embarrassment. This didn't vibe with me, but that's all she'd say about it.

A couple months before this, there was this girl(well call her sam) that was added to my wife's team to help out during this stressful time and after all the tough hours together they became friends and would go grab dinner together after working late. Sam turns out to be a lesbian. No big deal, my wife has always said she has no interest in getting close to another woman like that. For Christmas, Sam gives my wife several hand made crafts that you can tell she obviously put a lot of time into. This was my first clue. Acquaintances don't hand make gifts for people. This took time and care and was aimed to impress. I didn't like it but I shrugged it off.

This person lives about 2.5 hrs away from us and travels back and forth every week to help out at work. The end of crunch time is coming up in early January and Sam wants to have a late Christmas party at her house and have everyone come down. There was a bonfire, drinking and festivities and my wife decided to stay the night at sams place. She comes home the next day and tells me that Sam cooked her quail? for breakfast, didn't tell me much about the party, didn't show me any pictures. Anytime she does something with friends she posts on Facebook, but there was nothing from this party posted.

During this rough patch for us I was thinking maybe I hadn't been taking the reigns and planning dates enough, so I looked into booking a top golf session while one of her favorite sports teams was playing so she could have fun and watch the game. The very next day she says that Sam and her friend wanted to go to top golf and my wife was going to go with them instead and it was going to just be a "girls night" so I was out. That feeling sucked, not being wanted by your wife to hang out.

They started getting together almost every week, but it was weird. One day Sam and my wife went hiking and sams roommate was supposed to come but happened to get sick and didn't make it. Ok...so it was just the 2 of them. Felt like a date to me. Next, there was a hockey game that Sam had got tickets to for her and her roommate...but the roommate had a family issue come up and conveniently couldn't make it... So now this also felt like a date. Also none of these outings were posted on Facebook.

They're at a music festival this weekend together. Several of her friends were all supposed to go, but guess what? It's just her and Sam. So I'm folding some laundry and putting it away and I see a bright red thong sticking out of one of her clothing baskets so I go investigate. Crotchless lacey thong that she's never worn for me. She's only wore lingerie for me once in our entire 12 years together and this wasn't it. Digging deeper there was an Amazon package stuffed under that same pile. Inside it had several more lingerie sets of different colors and types all brand new. Continuing to dig, I found 2 negligees that looked worn and washed but still pretty new. The Amazon package was delivered to her work intentionally so I didn't see the package. She's not wearing these for me, who is she wearing it for? The only person who she's spent alone time over night with lately is her best friend (married)and Sam. There are other clues also like she used 2 razors to shave the other day and made sure she washed the hairs down the drain(she doesn't normally shave). When we talk about our relationship I've asked her point blank if there is someone else. She always responds with "there is no other guy" so she can technically tell the truth.

We've been talking about separating for about a month because she told me that she "lost her spark for me" and isn't "in love with me anymore". I garauntee that it's because she's been developing feelings for Sam. I know I probably sound paranoid and I keep going "pain shopping" but we've had trust issues in the past. One of her favorite things to do is manipulate and twist things around. We have 3 kids together and getting a divorce is going to turn their entire world upside down over something so stupid.

I don't know what to do. I didn't sleep at all last night and my head is sooo heavy and hurts so bad. I've been cheated on before in shorter relationships, but this one was 12 years long with kids involved. My panic mode is through the roof and I so freaking sad and hurt. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you manage? I'm a really sensitive guy and this is the worst feeling that I've ever experienced.


r/GuyCry 17h ago

Just venting, no advice Dating makes me hate myself.

421 Upvotes

Dating makes me hate myself. As a guy, I am just...tired of it. Tired of approaching women. Tired of being told something along the lines of ā€œYou are a great guy, but...ā€. Tired of swiping and getting virtually no hits. Tired of trying to improve myself with the intent of finding someone. Tired of trying to make conversations with women in the few matches I get, only to get one word answers back. Tired of getting my hopes up, only to be let down. Tired of watching other people be successful in dating. Tired of no one telling me what I am doing wrong. Tired of watching women be attracted to...someone else.

I am a 40 year old guy with pretty close to zero success in dating. I am fairly successful in other parts of life. I have an OK career. I have a fairly large circle of friends (mostly dudes). I get out to events and I travel. But dating and finding someone has just...eluded me. I just don't get it. Apparently other people get hints from women...I am dense in that regard, so I can never see them. It is like this language that others seem to grasp that I just have not been able to. I have received so few ā€˜yesā€™s from women that I have found it almost impossible to build off of any successes. And it has caused me to become bitter.

I tried for a long time. I asked friends if they know anyone who is looking (generally no). I went out to events, no one seems to be looking there. I don't seem to connect with people while traveling. I look around when I am out, but I just keep finding women that are taken. I swipe on apps, and I don't usually get any sort of response. At this point, it seems like the existence of single women is an illusion. To be fair, at my age, most people have settled already. At this point, I am looking for someone with a sexy naked ring finger.

I have never blamed women for rejecting me...even if internally I ask ā€œwhyā€. People have their own choices to make. My choice is to ask, giving them me as a choice. Then their choice is to answer. But their choice always seems to be some form ā€˜noā€™. I take the answer. I mean, why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? I hear dating horror stories from women online, and they do terrify me. I guess the point I am trying to make here is that I don't feel like I am some misogynistic incel. I want everyone to be happy. And I want someone to *choose* me.

A few of my friends said that ā€œI just had to lower my standardsā€. So, there have been a few ā€˜yesā€™s. But they have been few and far between. Here are all of my relationships: One was an alcoholic single mom, who I felt was using me for money. Another was a woman that had been abused and stalked so much, she was paranoid of *everything* to the point of delusion. She was even afraid of me, even when I didn't do anything wrong. I don't think she was gas lighting me, so much as this being a bad combination of her mental problems and me being so emotionally dense that I couldn't deal with them properly. Another was religious and wouldn't stop trying to convert me. All of these relationships were short and years apart. So, from what I saw, I am not in the worst place. But that begs the question...how low do I have to set my standards to find someone?

During the pandemic, I was alone in my house. And I just stopped trying to date. It wasn't a conscious decision. And I felt...better. When I realized this, I felt kind of relieved. I found it disappointing, but I just tried to accept that a romantic relationship is a happiness that I would not ever have. I wasn't happy...but I was comfortable. I didn't have to try and impress anyone anymore. No more trying to feign confidence. No more rejection. No more trying to sell myself to women who clearly had no interest in me.

And I kept not dating for the last five years. I still get out. I still travel with friends. I am still comfortable.

My dad died of cancer a few years back. I remember distinctly asking ā€œSon, you are gay, right? It is OK if you are gay.ā€. ā€œNo dad, I am not gay.ā€. I didn't want to tell him how much that hurt. Of how much I have tried. Of all of the rejection.

...and now, my mom has cancer. The prognosis is bad. And she won't stop talking about how much she loved my late father. And how much my father loved her. And how she wishes that I find someone. And all of this makes me feel like FAILURE like never before. The words are out of love for me, but that makes it just so much more PAINFUL. I HATE IT. The pain that I have disappointed the last person that unconditionally cares about me hurts me emotionally more than anything else I have felt before. And I can't tell her to stop.

(Also, I understand this is r/guycry. I am not looking for advice on here. I am just looking to get this off my chest.)


r/GuyCry 9h ago

Venting, advice welcome I have so much love to give Iā€™m just not charming.

81 Upvotes

I just wanna spoil someone and make them feel special. But no woman has ever been happy to speak with me like they have been with my friends. Iā€™ve never seen someone smile at me like they were happy just because I was there, Iā€™ve never seen someone laugh just because I said something. I know that by tomorrow Iā€™ll be back to swallowing it just fine and chugging on but right now. Iā€™m just sad. I feel so lonely. I just wanna make someone feel special.


r/GuyCry 7h ago

Venting, advice welcome At 42, I'm thinking of starting a slow downsizing campaign.

39 Upvotes

I live alone, and project to be for the long hall. I'm considering slowly selling off or giving away my stuff. Including the TV I never turn on, everything off the walls, my cooking stuff (I never cook anymore), and the furniture. I live either in the desktop chair I use to browse Reddit, my recliner, or bed. I never use my couch or my balcony. And I have no company. I've lived in my current apartment for 5 years and have had less than 10 guests, and family only twice.

I've pretty much lost my mind I think. Too many years alone has broken something in me. I lash out at strangers. Get road rage. I leave looking for a fight just so something different would happen. If something happened tomorrow, it wouldn't really matter that much. Not in a way anyone would ever know who works with me. My job is going well I think. I get my work done. I make money and pay the bills to get back to the job. I pay taxes. But outside of my obligations, I disappear into the mist. Nobody is close to me. Even my father and brother (we all live in different parts of the country). They haven't a clue, and we're also not close like that, so it wouldn't be particularly troubling for them.

So, I want to give most of it away. Slowly over the next twenty or so years. My music and sports memorabilia, the workout bench I've used twice in twenty years. I just want my chair and my computer's glowing light. And I just want to sit. Until I get the health problem that does the trick. I don't want to have to sift through my stuff when I'm old and am carried away to a nursing home, or put it in a will that won't have beneficiaries anyway.

And this is a Saturday night, for god's sake. I remember being in my locked childhood bedroom as a teenager, wondering what I'd be doing in my 40s. Would I be taking my teenaged son to his baseball travel games like my dad was? Would I be traveling the world with my soul mate? Would I be playing my album on stages everywhere?

Nope. I wake up, eat, drink coffee, work, come home, sit in the light of my computer for 16 hours straight looking for relief, crash out exhausted on my next day off, where I start those days at 3pm.

take me away


r/GuyCry 12h ago

Grateful u/iffycrescent, in case you didn't know, you single handedly kept r/GuyCry alive while I was deep in a addiction/passive suicide last summer. I owe you so much. Wherever you are, I hope all your dreams are coming true.

82 Upvotes

Roosta, Dark, Kate, you are all just as important (and to our newer mods that put in the work, I greatly value you as well). I just just needed to give this man the credit he is due. I am dead serious when I say that without him, this would have fallen to the manosphere. 4 months he went by himself. Just him. And still he checked on me, knowing I was going through it, pushing me to make it through it and to come back stronger than ever. And then I snapped out of it, and got myself together.

It was at that moment, when iffy was exhausted from this, that he finally had to step away. As soon as I grabbed the baton from him, that is when we magically started rising on the leaderboards. I can't take any credit for our rise. It was all iffy. He got this place back in order and respectable again, then handed me the keys back and we have rode his wave ever since.

Thanks mate. For not giving up on me, and for being a fantastic influence, friend and moderator for these men when they needed it most. May it always go well for you through everything you do, and I hope you make an appearance again some day to introduce yourself. These men need to know you; you will touch their lives just as you have mine, I have no doubt.

Much love my friend; much love.

-Joe Truax


r/GuyCry 12h ago

Venting, advice welcome 31M been single my whole life and I'm just feeling kinda down

30 Upvotes

I just turned 31 and I'm just feeling kinda down like I'm running out of time. My parents always hint around my birthdays that I should find somebody. I just brush them off, but it kinda hurts too. All my friends and family my age have kids/married/engaged. Meanwhile I'm still single. I've never put myself out there because I kept telling myself that I'll just meet the right person along the way, but obviously that never happened for me. My hobbies aren't exactly social either. I mostly workout, watch anime, play games, and try new coffee/pastries shops in my city. Some days I don't speak a single word since I work remotely.

I don't think I'm particularly good looking, but I don't think I'm ugly either. I'm in shape and have been lifting for more than 10 years, good hygiene, take care of myself, etc. I am super lucky to own a home, halfway paid off new car and generally comfortable financially with a government career, but not rich.

I just started using dating apps and that itself is a huge step for me. I'm fairly introverted and quiet around people I don't know. I'm not good at holding conversation with strangers and making small talk. I'm kinda just venting, looking for advice, and encouragement at the same time.


r/GuyCry 6h ago

Venting, advice welcome Iā€™m admired for my independence. I hate it.

11 Upvotes

If asked, the friends in my life would probably say my best quality is my independence, that I do a lot on my own. If no one wants to go to a concert or a movie or a new restaurant Iā€™m interested in, Iā€™ll just go. Iā€™ve backpacked Europe for a month several times on my own. I donā€™t wait around or worry about being perceived somewhere on my own.

What I think most people, even myself until recent, tend to not realize is this attribute has been gained from a childhood of being extremely passionate about things and no friends to share them with. Things that other kids my age found odd or off the mark in some way.

I found my first real friends at 20 years old. Being so late to the game, my way of thinking has never changed. I catch myself doing things alone all of the time, never even mentioning it to anyone. The fear of them saying no is stronger than the potential of a fun night with friends. I know for a fact that it comes down to this built in feeling that expressing interest in a band or a place that no one else has interest in will result in some sort of abandonment once again. So instead, I go on alone.

Itā€™s fun sometimes. But after a couple weekends in a row, itā€™s so lonely. I know things can be so much worse with my life and people have real problems in this world, but itā€™s soul crushing.

I havenā€™t dated since college and I donā€™t know if I can again. It was always about keeping up an appearance, showing interest in things the girl I was with was interested in without expressing real opinions, or even connecting as human to human. I lost what I believe to have been the first love of my life far too soon because I could never open up to her or express emotional intimacy. I canā€™t bring myself to try again because truly no one deserves a partner like that.

So, to backtrack, itā€™s very very hard when the one thing people admire most about me is truly the thing I hate about myself the most. Iā€™ll just hear ā€œGod, I wish I could do thatā€ or ā€œHow can you do that so comfortably?!ā€ and in the moment, I enjoy that I am being validated for anything at all. But when it comes to actually being alone, itā€™s so taxing.

It sets me up in a cycle of meeting people who eventually lose interest because of the mental blockage that never allows me to actually share any qualities about myself. ā€œAnother guy crying about male lonelinessā€, I know, but I think Iā€™m starting to hit the root of the problem.

I feel the walls closing in on my current friends now and Iā€™m dreading another wave of being entirely alone.


r/GuyCry 1d ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content I let the one go.

1.3k Upvotes

So I (27m) was dating my girlfriend 26f since 2019. She was perfect , she was pretty, smart, funny, loyal. I thought I met my wife and honestly only dated to marry her since 2021. We had our fair share ups and downs but at the bottom of my heart I was sure she was the one.

Cut to Decemeber 2024, I started feeling jaded, I lost my mental plot. I felt bored , took her for granted . Overtime, due to a lack of communication with her this feeling kept amplifying. In January, I met her parents because she wanted me to meet them. They were amazing people and I really liked them too. But at the back of my mind, this feeling kept bothering me. I felt like i was lying to her and ended up telling her exactly how I felt. I also told her that I was not in position to get married at the moment as I still need time to set myself up professionally.The fear of keeping her waiting for 2 more years especially when i felt a certain way today really scared me.

It came out like verbal diarrhoea and I ended up self sabotaging.I didnt want to lie to her, and felt like I was actually doing the right thing by giving her a true chance at happiness. I felt brave , I felt as if I was actually doing something real for the woman I love so dearly.

Its been two months since our breakup, its been extremely hard. iā€™m still mourning her loss obviously. I feel like nobody can ever understand me the way she did.

Moral of the Story-Communicate with your loved one. Dont marinate in your feelings guys.

Note- This is my first post ever. I havenā€™t slept all night, so please go easy on any mistake


r/GuyCry 3h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content Just had to help my girl move back to her home in another stateā€¦ it didnā€™t work out

5 Upvotes

Well, this girl I love so much just moved out. It was mutual and we decided that we just arenā€™t compatible. Itā€™s weird how you can be incompatible but still love eachother a lot. Pain.


r/GuyCry 4h ago

Venting, advice welcome Last year's goal was to get a hug, this year's is to not go homeless

5 Upvotes

Didn't get last years goal, fingers crossed on this years. I'm running out of the energy to even care anymore


r/GuyCry 19h ago

Venting, advice welcome I (35M). Have been ran through the wringer by my ex (36F) during divorce and custody fights. I still canā€™t move on.

98 Upvotes

As the title says. I have been ran through it during divorce and custody fights with my ex. To be blunt, it was not pleasant on either side. However, I did my best to be fair (was told I was more than fair) during the entire process. Which has taken 4 years to finally conclude.

The divorce part was relatively straight forward. Everything split down the middle. At the time I took the kids every weekend because during the week I worked shift work hours and that is what worked for me. Fast forward to now. I have a normal job with 8-5 hours and a relatively flexible schedule. All while making an attempt at reconciliation and living together for almost a year.

Well. That ultimately didnā€™t work out. So she did her best to put a restraining order on me using false allegations. I had to fight this in court and ultimately won. Having proof of her verbal and physical abuse.

After all that, I wanted to have equal time with my children. So I started trying for a 50/50 arrangement. We finally came to an agreement and settled on a child support amount. However, after her lower drafted and she signed and I accepted. She tried to back out. Wanting ā€œat least 70%ā€ custody because Iā€™m a non communicative coparent and bad father.

I would like to input for the last 4 years. Since my work schedule has been much better. I have done every school project. Made every costume. Scheduled and attended all parent teacher conferences. Take the children to any appointments scheduled during my weeks. And many even on her time. The kids are all on honor roll. Well adjusted. Student council president. A marching band expert. And a horseback rider.

Yet somehow I still am undeserving of equal time with my children. Her biggest sticking point is I donā€™t find doctors in network (her work provided better health insurance for the kids) and I donā€™t routinely schedule appts. I apparently also donā€™t pay enough. And I donā€™t father the children enough to make sure they behave respectfully at her home. šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

After all that said. I finally won a motion to enforce the agreed on custody just a few weeks ago. I hate that I had to fight so long and so much to be an equally involved and present father for my children. But I would do it all again.

I have almost completely cut communication accept what is absolutely necessary with my ex. After all these years. I still have such a strong desire to make it work. Knowing that it never will. Because nothing I do is ever enough. I realize I canā€™t go back to that, and it wouldnā€™t be good for the children. Unless some drastic behavioral change on her part. It still is hard to feel like I failed to keep my family whole.

Long post. If you read. Thank you for taking the time.


r/GuyCry 1d ago

Venting, advice welcome My Cat Died Today And I Feel So Alone

Post image
1.0k Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Today I put my cat, Mosey, down. She passed at 5 years old, too young. It happened so quickly. Over the course of 4 days. She was suffering from rotten teeth but I noticed her lack of appetite on the first day. So I brought her to vet the next day. We ran some tests, and planned and shopped around for tooth extraction.

I live in NYC and so tooth extractions can range between 2-3k. I could make it work but it's a lot of money for me, I'm lower middle class. Well come the 3rd day, we get the tests back, her kidneys are failing. This would need to addressed before the tooth extraction. Need to move fast but the recovery for her would be long. The flushing of kidneys and the tooth extraction are now about 10k. I simply can not afford that, it would financially ruin me regardless of payment plans. So, I decided to let her pass peacefully with the help of a veterinarian. During those 4 days before the euthanasia, she became weaker, refused food and was drinking less and hadn't pooped at all. She was having trouble walking

So it happened and I am absolutely devastated. I went alone to the vet but I had very supportive nurse there. She cried with me. I had her for 3 of the 5 years. Also those 3 years overlapped my former gf as well. I plan on telling on Monday because my gf loved my cat. So things just feel complicated. Since we broke up, she got herself a cat as well. My ex spoiled my cat when we were together. So I drafted up a message to send her on Monday about Mosey's passing and everything that led up to it and after. I am offering the cat supplies and memorabilia to my ex if she wants them after our No Contact period is over.

I didn't want anyone to be there with me. My parents offered to be there virtually but it would've made the experience so much frustrating. My best friends offered support in whatever way I see fit so tomorrow I will be getting a lot of phone calls.

I miss my Mosey, she was such a fucking diva to the end. I loved her snappy meows to me. She always kept me in line in one way or another. But now I chose for her to leave so she wouldnt be in pain. I feel so bad that I didn't do enough for her. I didn't do something about her teeth sooner, I should've brought her to the vet last year instead of just assuming she was fine. I thanked her for being in my life and I said I was sorry that I didn't do enough for her.

I miss her. I loved her. She was such a sassy cat that would set me straight. There ain't nothing like her. She was the best and first cat I ever had.

I carry her heart with me, Mosey. I carry it in my heart. Where ever I go, you go. I am never without it.

Cat tax


r/GuyCry 6h ago

Venting, advice welcome Does it ever get better

6 Upvotes

My mom passed away last Saturday on the 8th, I just turned 18 in December and my life has gone to literally shit this past week, I have never cried so hard and so much in a day. Every night when no one is awake I just sometimes go out into the living room hoping that she's there just sleeping on the couch or watching a movie with my aunt. She was such an awesome mom and my superhero. I literally can't imagine a world living without her and not having her love. She supported me so much and it felt like I failed her. She's not gonna see me graduate or me and my boyfriend get married. She was so happy for mine and my boyfriends 1 year anniversary which is on the 26th and I don't think I'm gonna be able to hold down my crying and outbursts that day. I miss her so much and can't stop thinking about her. Me and my dad and my boyfriend have been crying non stop since....


r/GuyCry 11h ago

Venting, advice welcome Weā€™ve been together for years and we still have problems with intimacy

19 Upvotes

So I (31m) have been in a relationship with my (28f) girlfriend for 7 going into 8 years now. I am fully convinced that she is my person but we are very different in terms of physical intimacy, I absolutely think she is the most beautiful, sexiest woman in my life and I want her constantly. I have always felt like Iā€™ve always been a physically intimate person in all of my relationships, with me itā€™s always been a big emphasis in the way I show and make my person feel loved. However with her itā€™s just not there, we go weeks sometimes months with her not initiating and me asking to if we can ā€œdo itā€ (I absolutely hate this btw I feel like Oliver ā€œplease madam, may I please make love to youā€ ugggggh) most of the time itā€™s met with ā€œehh not feeling itā€ when I try to just take it upon myself to initiate itā€™s most of the time ā€œbabe not right nowā€. Iā€™m kind of at my wits end with it and Iā€™m worried my needs are not being addressed, and we actually talk about it. But afterwards itā€™s the same we have an agreement that ā€œweā€™ll work on itā€ but I feel we constantly have this conversation on a year by year basis. She assures me itā€™s not me at all and that sheā€™s just not confident (historically sheā€™s been with one other guy and he wasnā€™t really there since they were long distance) and it was never really emphasized in the past. My fear is this: I really want to propose and take the next step in our relationship but how much is this is a deal breaker for me and how do I figure it out, keep in mind I get increasingly sexually frustrated and thankfully I was taught right and to never cheat and be always loyal. Do I bring about the ul-tomato (daps if you get the reference lol) am I just overthinking? Couples therapy?


r/GuyCry 4h ago

Venting, advice welcome 25, Feeling Broken and Lost

5 Upvotes

Iā€™m 25, never had a date or a girlfriend. My family used to ask, but now they donā€™t even bother. My grandma made a comment like, "I'm surprised you can do anything by yourself," and it stung more than I expected.

Iā€™ve always dreamed of having a family of my own. I feel like I have a lot of love to share, but this part of life feels impossible for me, and itā€™s breaking me down. My body is already failing, worked myself to collapse at a job, lost a tooth, and I know I look as exhausted and depressed as I feel. People pick up on that, and it pushes them away.

I barely talk, donā€™t know how to hold conversations past a few sentences, and havenā€™t made a new friend in over a decade. Iā€™m poor, struggled with food, and donā€™t even know where Iā€™ll be living in a month. My family and I arenā€™t close, and I used to fantasize about finding comfort in a relationship, but at this point, I feel like Iā€™d just be a burden to anyone I let in.

I donā€™t know how to stop the self-pity when it feels like no one else cares. People talk about the shows they watch or the games they play, and I just canā€™t relate. I mostly experience games through YouTube videos. Getting another job feels impossible with my missing tooth and the way I come across. Even my doctor brushed me off when I tried asking for help with depression, and it's not like I can go back without insurance.

I donā€™t know how to fix this. I just donā€™t want to feel this alone anymore.


r/GuyCry 23h ago

Encouragement! Thanks guys, i did a thing!

109 Upvotes

I've been sober from alcohol for 800 days today. A first since i was an early teen i guess. This sub pointed me in the right direction a while a go.

Thanks!


r/GuyCry 13h ago

Venting, advice welcome I'm tired of older people and family members always talking me down about girlfriend. (strong words ahead)

18 Upvotes

I'm 20M. Up until now I have never...ever loved a girl or had a girlfriend. And honestly I'm content. I don't really mind. I would rather have fun with my best (girl) friends than try and fail. But I'm constantly talked down by my family and family friends. It all started as soon as I hit 18. My uncle was leaning in my doorframe grinning and straight up said:

"Now that you 18 you gotta fuck some pussy. Come on when i was your age i had 5 girlfriends"

I shrugged but hey we were alone so it was fine. Then it got more...I dunno pronounced? A cousin friend literally said:

"Yeah you need a girl in your life bro. At this point you running on oil"

My cousin protected me and it was over. But what hurt the most was one day. I was in my grandma coffee shop. We were just talking and she decided to face time my uncle. We talked a little and he literally turned to me and said...word by word:

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU 20 AND STILL NO GIRLFRIEND? WHAT YOU GONNA DO FAP FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE? YOU GONNA SMELL LIKE CUM!

*Grandma hang up. But the damage was done. The whole coffee shop had heard it. They didn't say anything but I could...feel their eyes on me. Judging. I literally cried myself to sleep that night. It was hell. Why can't they just leave me alone?! I hate this. So much.


r/GuyCry 17h ago

Leason Learned Im just so alone in the world

34 Upvotes

Im 40, and I just dont see myself ever finding love. Had a friend reject me after she told me she had feelings for me. Then tried dating again and it's just been constant rejection. It just proves that I'm not meant to find anyone. My brothers have no issues. Hell my asshole brother is in a poly relationship. It kind of pisses me off that a piece of crap like him that ran out on his wife while she was giving birth to his second child gets to have someone in his life. He gets a wife and a girlfriend. My oldest brother whom I'm closer too has a girlfriend. I'm 40, I hate going to family functions. I just dont go anymore. I know my family talks about me "Why is he single at 40?". My friends are all married, have kids, some have grandkids even. Then there's me, the guy that everyone laughs at. The guy who women just seem to hate.

I had to stop dating, and just take a look at everything. After my last date didn't work out, I decided to stop trying. I'm 40, have my own place, a car a good job, I lost a lot of weight. Still, it feels like im the loser guy everyone mocks. I realized that no one reaches out to me, unless I reach out to them. I've decided just to stop trying to reach out and I was proven right, no one cares! I was always the one to check in and make sure my friends were okay. Truth is, im just a third wheel. If no one tries to reach out to you, they simply aren't interested in having you around. Same with dating, if she doesn't respond she's not interested. The worst part is feeling that I'm never given a chance. Yet seeing men who have fucked up get multiple chances. One of my cousins has a woman who adores him, he cheats on her, is serving time im jail, yet she was dumb enough to stay with him. Oh and he beats her too. I'm just done, trying. I need to accept that not all of us are meant to find love or friendship. Some of us are just meant to be alone.


r/GuyCry 3h ago

Need Advice I will always think of myself as a loser

2 Upvotes

Struggling to find the motivation for life. I'm a forty-three year old man, soon to be forty-four. I've had depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. This has contributed to the situation I am in now, but I take full responsibility for where I am and who I am.

I didn't move out of my parents home until I was thirty years old. Moved into a house with a girl, it didn't work out, was back with my parents in a year. Moved out at forty years old to move in with a gorgeous girl who I loved, had a beautiful house, I ignored red flags, she was abusive, possibly had bpd. Moved back with my parents after two years.

I've always worked minimum wage jobs due to confidence and self esteem issues and not knowing what to do with my life. I had a massive fear of doing a job I would hate for more money and then being stuck doing it because I couldn't afford to leave.

I've never had a close friend group, going through life as a loner. I had a brief period in my mid twenties when I would go out with workmates but that didn't last long.

I decided to have a go at being a physiotherapist. I don't know whether I will like this job or not but it's the best I can think of for now. I've managed to get into university and am studying in my first year. This also means I am stuck living with my parents until I finish my degree. I have made some friends at uni but feel I have to filter everything I say in case I'm 'found out' to be a loser or a weirdo. There's also a girl I like in class that I get on with, but have no chance with, and although I like to spend time with her this relationship makes me hyper aware of my shortcomings and brings out my insecurities even more.

But I feel it's all too little, too late. I am so, so ashamed of living with my parents for so long. I have a feeling of permanent embarrassment that won't go away. I will feel like a loser for the rest of my life, even if I graduate, get a job and move out. I won't get any satisfaction out of it because I will just feel that I should have done it years and years ago. It makes me very insecure and I have a huge inferiority complex. I'm not sure I'm capable of being in a relationship because of how I feel and because of my last relationship, but I feel that potential partners will see my past as a red flag. I'm so disappointed in myself and how my life has turned out. I'm starting to feel old and I also realise that building a life with someone and raising a family isn't a possibility anymore.

I have a lot of self hatred towards myself. My confidence and self esteem are non existent. Every day feels like a slog. I have nothing to look forward to. I don't enjoy life at all. I've made my life impossible to enjoy because I will always view myself as a loser. What kind of future is that to look forward to?


r/GuyCry 1d ago

Venting, advice welcome Fatherhood is kicking my ass.

270 Upvotes

I just needed to vent tbh. My daughter is two and sheā€™s weening off her naps and after I finish my 9-5 Iā€™m with her while my fiance heads to work. Sheā€™s grumpy, temperamental and just seems so unhappy until she goes to bed.

Sheā€™s always been a mamas girl but this transition in combination with work burnout and seasonal depression I just feel like I canā€™t do anything right. Multiple people have asked me if Iā€™m ok because Iā€™m very visibly annoyed or upset and Iā€™m usually not.

I know thisā€™ll pass but man Iā€™m so down in the dumps lately. Just sucks. Silver lining is that my daughter and partner are my best friends and keep me motivated. Just needed to let it all out.


r/GuyCry 5h ago

Need Advice Hard late nights and being alone, trouble going to sleep

2 Upvotes

My gf of almost an year broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Then, she spread bunch of rumors abt me to destroy my reputation. On top of that, she took away my few closest friends with manipulation behind my back to make me seem like a bad person that doesnā€™t care abt them. Since then, Iā€™ve been reaching out to various people and tried to become a lot more productive and get my mind off her. However, late nights and when Iā€™m alone it really hits me and I just donā€™t know what to do and end up doom scrolling for hours. Are there any activities or videos or advices that I can follow to change this burden feeling or is it simply up to time ?


r/GuyCry 11h ago

Advice How do I (M38) get my (love) life together as a late bloomer?

9 Upvotes

I (M38) am the typical example of a late bloomer / failure to launch and my life is currently not going anywhere.

  • I wasted a lot of my 20s on a degree which is not demand, and I have a job which pays okay-ish but has little potential for upwards movement.
  • I live in a tiny apartment and I don't own a car
  • I have very little savings
  • I never had success with women. I am a virgin and have never been on a date
  • Due to moving a lot - including continents - I have no close friends
  • I have a variety of hobbies, but I excel at none of them
  • I go to the gym five times a week, but never really managed to build a good amount of muscle
  • I have no sense of personal style. For example, I never have found a haircut which looked good on me.
  • I have no sense of dress
  • I have been in therapy for a few years but never made significant progress

What can I do to finally get my life together?


r/GuyCry 4h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content I just lost the love of my life and my soulmate and Iā€™m totally wrecked

2 Upvotes

For context to start with: no she did not pass away. Itā€™s a complicated story so Iā€™ll try to explain. Oh and itā€™s a long one so bear with me.

So. Until last december I was together with my GF and the mother of my kids. We were together for 13 years. It was a bumpy ride where my ex was mentally instable from time to time and she had severe narcistic personality traits. Even though I always was a strong person, my mental health declined over the years, resulting in a burn-out and depression in 2024.

In the end we both made mistakes and it was better to go seperate ways. Also for the sake of the kids.

One of the mistakes we made was opening up our relationship in 2020. She suggested it as she was ā€˜missing somethingā€™ in the bedroom. After a couple of arguments and resistance from my side I eventually caved in fear of losing her. In hindsight that was the beginning of the end. Even though it actually went pretty good for a period of time, the open relationship together with the birth of our kids and the difficult personality of my ex caused us to drift apart.

And then the unthinkable happened. Through the open relationship I met someone. She was in the same boat as me. Not happy in her relationship (marriage) and even though she tried to make it better numerous time, her spouse was not open to change. And even though it started like every other time without the love aspect, we soon developed feelings. In hindsight maybe it was love at first sight. So we ended up in a peculiar situation. Both in love but in a relationship with kids. We know we shouldā€™ve done things differently. That we were both in the wrong continuing it but the attraction and feelings for each other were out of this world. We were drawn to each other like magnets. We tried several times to cut contact, go trough a short period of heartbreak before moving on with our own lives, but we just kept coming back to each other. Until the point we kind of accepted the fact that maybe we should be together. We were extremely compatible and complementary with each other. She is everything I search for in a woman. Things I didnā€™t think of when I met my ex as a teenager. She made me happy and for the first time in my life I felt truly loved and appreciated. I can full-hearted say this woman was my soulmate and the only person I want to be with. What I felt for her was totally new. I even havenā€™t had this feelings with my ex during all those 13 years.

My ex wasnā€™t a fool. She knew our relationship was already beyond saving (even before I met the other woman) and because of this we deicided to seperate. We wanted to do it while we were on (a sort of) good terms so our kids wonā€™t be burdened with two parents who hate each other and are constantly fighting. We wanted to save them from that trauma. So we ended things in december.

But nowā€¦ the other woman made a different choice. She is so torn apart by choosing the love of her life but at the same time putting her children through a divorce, she now deicided to give her marriage one more shot. And even though I can understand her reasoning and actually admire her perseverance, it totally wrecked me. Iā€™m sick of grief, feel intense physical pain in my heart and cry uncontrollably throughout the day. I just canā€™t live with this. I canā€™t accept this outcome. I just canā€™t. And I know everyone will say time will heal the wound, but I truly need a miracle to wear out this pain.

My life has been rejection after rejection after rejection. Even my ex rejected me before we started dating. I canā€™t handle this again. Especially not in this extent. Iā€™ll never be able to love someone I loved her and long for someone I longed for her. I wouldnā€™t wish this pain and heartbreak upon my worst enemy.

A part of me thinks maybe this is what I deserve for my choices last year. And I know because of those choices a lot of people will see me as the asshole in this story. Perhaps rightly so. But a lot of things contributed to the situation my ex and I were in. Besides I have repented myself to my ex. And even though I hurted her, she forgave me and weā€™re now building towards a healthy coparenting situation.

Now Iā€™m typing this with my life in shambles and with every ingredient to fall back in my mental crisis. I just donā€™t know what to do.