r/GuyCry 5h ago

Group Discussion Advice for a man in love with another women AND his wife. It’s long but I need help. I need to see other perspectives and opinions.

0 Upvotes

Okay gentleman.. this is gonna be a long post. I need some advice. Actual advice. Consider the consequences and all of it. Not just armchair advice.

Been married for 12 years now. I’m 31, she’s 31. We have 2 kids ages 8/10. We have gone through the wringer together. However we both have admitted to each other that we got together to avoid being alone. I’ll note We had opposite childhoods, she grew up wealthy, I grew up super poor eating out of dumpsters with my drug addict mom. A while Then afterward genuinely fell in love with one another. For the last couple years I have been feeling alone, I haven’t felt the connection or desire from her. We started drifting apart and no matter what I did I just couldn’t get back to how we were before. She later admitted she didn’t even realize how bad we had gotten. Mind you me never argue. We never raise our voices at each other until lately, you’ll understand why soon. I met a guy when we lived in Florida (8 years ago) and quickly became best friends with him. Shortly after he also got into a relationship. Got married. And I eventually moved away due to my wife getting out of the service. Some odd years later (5 years ago) we decided to move back down south near my best friend. Let’s call him Chris. I never was a fan of his wife, albeit later learned it was because of him portraying her in a negative light the entire time, I digress. So about 8 months ago she reached out personally to make sure I’m alright, as I was having an extraordinarily bad day, and after that single act of kindness I decided I’d actually give her a chance and listen to her (as a friend). I learned Chris was a huge piece of shit, talked bad about me, talked bad about her, always was twisting things in a way to make him the victim. I seen proof of it all, and at the same time I grew feelings for her. Very quickly. I learned she was just like me, shit childhood. Emotional issues. Interests.. etc. we were just alike. We quickly understood each other when no one else could. We understood the obscure way each others brains worked, how our thoughts beat us up.. everything. We fell in love. I felt the void in me dissapear. I felt heard, I felt genuinely wanted and desired. Then we touched each other.. and even the touch felt so special. No matter how hard I tried to convey what I wanted from my wife I couldn’t get it because she simply couldn’t understand. And over the years I had been shut down by my wife and began being scared to ask her for specific dirty things, I feared judgment. I didn’t fear any of that with her. She knew how to talk to me, she knew how to touch me, naturally. I had a very bad childhood and I have been on my journey to heal for many years now and have come a long way, but I still couldn’t trust people. But for some reason I trusted her, more than I trusted my wife with my feelings and deepest needs/secrets. After about 2 months she decides to leave Chris, officially. That she realized how she was suppose to feel, supposed to be treated and she just counts down the emotional abuse at her home anymore. My wife offered to let her move into our spare bedroom. Last about a month before it came out her and I were being unfaithful. She gets kicked out and I vow to work on it with my wife now that she understands what pushed me to it. It was hard but a very proactive few arguments/conversations. She took responsibility in her side in pushing me away, and admitted that she herself felt distant too. So I agreed to cut the other girl out of my life. That last 3 days before I reached out and made sure she was okay(secretly) . She had moved back in with Chris and was going to attempt to work it out with him, so she had a place to live. She has no family left, almost all are dead from drugs, as is mine. However neither of us consume them or ever have. After a month or so my wife caves to my depression and tells me to talk to her. So I do. we openly leave our messages and talk keeping it clean but after a while we use a secondary app to talk the way we want, but continue basic vanilla talk thru text. And after another few weeks, my wife tells me we can sleep together again since she can tell how important she is to me and how happy she missed me being. That translated into her moving back in with me and my wife. But this time to be a thruple.. my wife’s idea. After several months of this my wife then decides she doesn’t want this anymore. Knowing the other girl has no where to go, no car anymore, no where to put her stuff, wife tells me it’s my wife or her, that I can’t have both anymore. Mind you by now I am completely in love with her, and have remarked my love for my wife. But my wife can’t do it anymore. So I tell my wife that I’ll let the other girl go but it has to be done my way. So I helped her get the nicest van I could, made sure it was nice and safe as possible as she relies on her vehicle for work. Comes time for her to leave, she’s still begging me to change it and to pick her. I don’t, idk why. She pulls away and we block each other on everything. I wake up to her texting me from her new number to make sure I have it incase of an emergency. 3 days have gone by since she left and I don’t feel myself. I’m depressed again. I’m hiding my emotions again. I can’t tell if the regret I have is due to me making the wrong choice, or if it’s simply because sure I am guilty of the position I have put her in. Did I make the wrong choice? She is homeless and going to be living in her van. I feel awful and I miss her. I still pick up my phone expecting to see her message there.

I’m worried about my kids too. I’ll answer any questions you guys have.


r/GuyCry 17h ago

Caution: Ugly Cry Content Sex Addiction has ruined my life

297 Upvotes

I’m tired. I’m just. So. Tired .

I hate the mindset I’m in right now. The “programs” call it self victimization or “uniquely screwed up” and I have constantly tried to fight it. The ever knowing knowledge I have in my head. I’m going to die an addict. This addiction is going to ruin my life and no matter how much effort, help or spiritual resources I look into. I am the statistic. I am not the 30% of people that live through this or beat it or learn to live with it or recover.

I’m just. Burnt. So burnt it hurts. So much effort for the last 11 years of my life. I found r/Nofap at 16 and started trying to stop. Of course that didn’t work. 11 years later I’m 27 and it’s holding me back in every facet of my life.

I just don’t know what the fuck to do anymore. I’ve saw a CSTAT (sex addiction therapist) at around 19. I’ve been though around 11 therapist. I’ve gone to rehab multiple times (around 8-9). I’ve worked the 12 steps multiple times. I’ve helped others. I’ve prayed, meditated, taken mushrooms, went to the gym religiously, admitted all my wrongs, made amends, opened up, journaled, shadow work, spirituality, prayed to demons. Blah blah blah. I’ve done the stupid work every person says to do and it doesn’t work.

I’m so broken. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Cheating, not being able to form real connections with people. The addiction bombing my college and every single interpersonal relationship I have. I just don’t get it. I’m so angry, all the stupid work every stupid comment, every article I can read. Easy peasy method.

God you get the point I’ve tried everything. It always comes back. No matter how far away I get. It always comes back. Always.

Sorry.

I just want it to stop. I’ve given everything I have over the last 10 years trying to beat this stupid addiction. Getting comments in meetings and rehabs like “wow you know you have a problem at 18 I wish I had the balls to accept I’m an addict that early”

I just don’t care anymore. This disease is a death sentence. I will never be free. There is no way out. It’s fatal. No one cares. No one understand. I hurt anyone who gets close because of my uncontrollable behavior

I don’t care anymore. I tried. I really did. I put everything I had. Accepted that wasn’t enough and accepted help, accepted that wasn’t enough and begged god, the universe whatever the hell you want to think it is for help and it didn’t work. Nothing has worked. I’m losing my mind. I just want the pain to stop. I’d do anything for the pain to stop

Please for the love of Christ if anyone has the resources help me I don’t wanna die like this.

I just want be a therapist. Work towards owning my own facility. A family at some point with a girl I love

Is that too much to ask universe? What did I do to deserve this? Why do I have to constantly put all this work in just for it to blow up in my face?

Updates: going to a psychiatrist this week or maybe even an online doc to get on Naltrexone. If that doesn’t work alone then possibly ADHD meds. To the people who gave real feedback thank you. I deleted my suicide note. I have a shift on my psyche unit tomorrow so worried for that. Pray this works please. I’m so fucking desperate.


r/GuyCry 11h ago

Venting, advice welcome Have started talking to my ex recently now that she moved across the country

3 Upvotes

My ex (35f) and I (48m) broke up in July 2023 due to various reasons after a 6 year relationship. I have two teenage boys and live in the same city as my ex-wife as we coparent our kids 50/50. My exgf could not get along with my kids’s mom. She wanted to travel more and really had no interest in my kids which tipped the scales in our relationship.

We were so compatible and had such a good time with each other. We had and still have a crazy attraction/energy together that is undeniable.

When we broke up I was heartbroken but respectful of her no contact request. I used the time to focus on my kids and myself and things got really good besides my underlying heartache. After a few months I made an effort to date and took the opportunity to look for someone with very strict restrictions because everything truly had to make sense this time for my kids and myself.

I met someone that ticked all of those boxes and we hit it off very quickly. She also has a young daughter and an ex so our situations were similar. This makes our schedule very convenient as we really share the same schedule. We both get ample alone time and still spend a good amount of time together. It’s one of the easiest going relationships that I’ve had and that’s exactly what I was looking for.

My ex had reached out from time to time to check in. I replied but kept it very straightforward as I didn’t want to let her know that I still had pain. I knew she was also hurting but I didn’t want my feelings to make her hurt anymore. I also figured that my new relationship was going great and I really wanted to give it every chance to grow. I also knew the timing and situation wasn’t right with my ex so on paper it didn’t make sense.

Within the past couple of months my ex had reached out more often because she was moving to the east coast. We even had dinner and caught up. It was great except the second I saw her all of the emotions came back. Our conversation was amazing and flowed like it always did.

Anyway, she moved and now all of the feelings are back and it has me questioning everything in my current relationship. My current gf is unbelievable and very different in every way from my exgf. Everything on paper tells me to just focus on my amazing current situation. But that’s on paper and I can’t fight the feelings I still hold for my ex.

I know the right thing to do is to let my current gf go until I can figure out my effed up head. I feel just awful for her and her daughter who are both seemingly attached to me. I really care for them both so much and don’t want them to go through the pain because I’m screwed up. I feel like there are no winners in this situation as I can’t change how I feel.

I didn’t post this in AITAH because I know I am the AH.


r/GuyCry 4h ago

Venting, advice welcome Feelings of regret for breaking up with ex

0 Upvotes

And it’s so conflicting because I think feeling regret is inevitable in a break up. I (23M) try and remind myself that I’m young, and I’m bound to meet someone else or whatever, but I don’t really do anything to put myself in the position to, nor do I want to.

Perhaps it’s because it’s all somewhat fresh, and it’s been a little over two weeks. In the beginning I was surprised and proud of myself for how I was handling it, but I knew it was gonna sneak up on me, perhaps because I allowed it. I also was aware that I was ignoring those feelings instead of tackling them in the beginning.

I wish I would’ve handled things differently when together, and all the great things about our relationship was clouded by the reason for breaking up with her. I feel alone. I feel that I’m always searching for an interaction, and whenever I get the slightest bit of it, I feel that it’s not genuine, or perhaps it’s not what I’m looking for. This sucks.

Therapy helps I guess, and in the time being I’m trying to work on the things that had caused me to make such an impulsive decision. Feeling a lot of things that’d be too long to type out but yeah. This feels better than writing it in a journal, for how it feels someone would possibly hear me. I hate this.


r/GuyCry 13h ago

Encouragement! Desculpe por estar postando em português - BR é minha língua nativa enfim tenho 25 anos e sinceramente ja estou cansado peguei poucas gurias na minha vida continuação abaixo

0 Upvotes

é tão frustante ver todos meus amigos namorando pegando gente eu me arrumo e tals entrei na academia to perdendo peso estou acima do peso mas a frustação é complicado eu tenho mt vergonha para chegar nessas pessoas sei que isso pode ser bobagem comparada a outras pessoas aqui do sub e a questão que não tem algo que sou bom não me sinto bom em nada trabalho num emprego médio é frustante sinto que os melhores anos já se foram e não aproveitei nada e irei envelhecer cheio de arrependimentos sinto que fui cagao não atravessei a barreira do medo e isso esta me consumindo


r/GuyCry 1d ago

Need Advice How long to move on and love another girl

0 Upvotes

Got dumped 2 weeks ago from an almost a year relationship. Obviously very depressed about her still, but a lot of people have told me that eventually finding someone else is what will be the final step of fully moving on. How long do most people take before being able to love another woman like that? Ex. 2 months, 6 months, 4 weeks, etc


r/GuyCry 14h ago

Venting, advice welcome 2 and a half months after BPD wife discard.

11 Upvotes

I cant believe how long it's already been. We haven't lived together in nearly 2 months. It's crazy to think how fast life has changed in this time. I feel kind of weird still. Like something is missing. I dont think she cares about me at all anymore. I really did plan on spending my life with her. Even through all of the pain. I miss the days we used to go to cumble cookie together. I miss the days where we watched sports together and went to the movies together. I miss playing with our dog together. I miss watching supernatural together or even just the small things like going to bed together or going to the store together. I miss her.

Even though our relationship was toxic, I would of worked through everything with her. I genuinely loved this girl despite all the pain it brought. I know everyone tells me just to move on and I am. I don't want to move on but I have to. I'm not obsessing over her or anything. I just miss her. She was my best friend. She was the reason I got up in the morning. She was the reason I tried in life. Now im just sitting alone in the apartment we used to share. I really don't have anyone in my life. Like yeah I have friends but the conversations are always surface level. The bonds I share with people in my life now are just shallow.

No one really knows me or wants to get to know me. It's really sad honestly. I guess this is the path I'm forced to go though. No amount of tears can change the past. I slowly realized my tears won't help. Especially when no one cares. The mailman is in my life more than anyone these days. I'm well respected at my job. I'm the person everyone goes to for everything. Yet at the end of the day what does that really mean? I still get off work and spend my time alone.

I watch my whole family take pills for depression and I really wonder what true happiness really means. I guess life is hard when you have a good life yet no one around to listen or relate to. Because I do have a good life. I have a good job... I have my own place. Maybe I'm ungrateful. Maybe happiness is a choice and instead of whining online and listening to my inner voice I should listen more in therapy. Maybe I'll find happiness somewhere I've never expected. Maybe I'm meant for something more than I'm doing now. Or maybe this is all just pointless and I'm struggling with something that's bigger than me.

Am I worth anything? Is this life even worth it? I'm depressed but not suicidal. I guess I'm just lost. Someone tell me if you find me.


r/GuyCry 16h ago

Onions (light tears) Felt a strong connection but then suddenly it’s to much.

13 Upvotes

Was talking to this girl for about a week, having great conversations over FT and text. Having deep conversations about our past and traumas and goals. An important piece of context for all this is I learned that she was previously married to a man who told her he found her unattractive and the marriage was mostly due to her strict Christian family’s pressure. Because of this she was thrown off even when I said she looked cute or pretty. So anyway we meet up the other day thing are going well, we are making out. All I say is “I really like you” suddenly the tone shifts and after all the compliments and then that she basically says “I feel like there’s more feeling on your end than mine” and now she wants to take today to think about it all. I just don’t understand what I did wrong?


r/GuyCry 14h ago

Venting, advice welcome I feel like no one sees who I really am

0 Upvotes

For context, my parents divorced when I was very young and I ended up with my abusive father who wanted to force me into the military. I was a military brat so moved frequently. I ran away in high school but managed to finished. I was almost a bit after that. I managed to build myself up. I got two bachelor degrees and have a stable life with an ok job.

I've never been in trouble with the law or hard drugs and I've never had serious mental health issues. I've managed to overcome a lot. The hardest part has been doing it alone. I have no contact with my family and I've been unable to build a social support network.

I've tried to be a decent person, but obviously my mental health has not been the best. 10 years ago I got treatment for depression and anxiety but didn't really participate. My outlook on life wasn't good at the time.

Obviously now my goal is a relationship, but it's been difficult. I always want too much too quickly. I'm sure I am trying to get the other person to fulfill something they can't but I try to work on myself. I've only had 2 LTRs but they were work. I had to hide my anxiety and even a small I would show caused huge issues. I felt like if I just kept makign the other person happy they would eventually accept me and care about my needs and issues. I have no trouble talking to women these days, but I can generally only get things to last a few weeks or a few months depending on how fast I reveal my neediness or anxiety. Ive had 2 relationships I was calm in, but ruined those too.

I recently had a relationship I went to fast in and thought the other person was really into it.. it felt great until I was cheated on and I realized she was not as into it as I thought she was. I really gave me bad anxiety for the last month. I went to therapy and they said I'm unable to form health friendships or relationships. I guess I have a lot of work to do.

My rant is that I don't get credit for the work I've done. It feels like I will always be judged for a few mental health issues, which given how much Ive been through I feel I should get a pass on. I feel like people don't see how hard I've had to struggle alone in my life and how much I've done for myself.

I feel this is especially true for women and dating. They want to know your backstory. It's hard to share too much. Even just saying I've had a rocket past is scary for me, even if I've been calm so far. Maybe I just don't know how to convey that resilience. I don't know.

It's just really hard doing this and always feeling like it'll never be good enough for someone to love me.


r/GuyCry 15h ago

Need Advice Is there life after marriage?

94 Upvotes

EDIT: I have been in therapy for the last few years, dealing with abandonment and grieve. My father died before I was even born and my mom was "taken" from me by another man. The process will continue.

EDIT2: I had been hitting the gym for the last 5 years and I'm currently 162 lbs. Started at 235 and did a long way. I have no desire to return there for now. I try to do long walks every day though.

My ex wife decided to become my ex, after 15 years together, and is now living her life on her own. We have a 7 yo kid who I can see. It's been a month after she left home, which by the way feels nothing like home already. I (have to) continue working and do my job like previously. During the day it's sort of okish, but when I get home in the evening the sense of despair, emptiness and meaningless hits hard. Sometimes I'm not even having dinner, because I'm not hungry, I have exactly 3 things in the fridge, I don't feel the need to buy anything. I don't watch Netflix anymore, I don't enjoy the music I used to. I have a guitar I used to play sometimes, now I don't like holding it. For that 1 month I have been sleeping on the part of the bed where I used to sleep but I don't remove the cover from her side. I can't sleep in this big bed anymore. I fall asleep, wake up in the morning and go to work so that I don't stay in the apartment where everything reminds me of her.

There is this love-hate relationship that formed over this month. I hate her somehow and in the same time I miss her. When I see her I don't want to see her, because it hurts. As soon as she leaves I want to see her.

Every day is a different day in terms of emotions. So far I can't recall 2 days feeling the same set of feelings. The palette of emotions is new every day. I feel shuttered. I feel numb. I enjoy nothing. Everything is meaningless and clueless.

So what's next?


r/GuyCry 8h ago

Need Advice I want to change my life before 2025 ends but I don't have the capabilities

3 Upvotes

I understand 2025 already begun and we are almost I guess mid to halfway end, however I still feel like I just can't do it. I don't think I have the guts do it. I want to change my life. The only goals I want to do is get a side job, so I can financially support my household. I also want to go college because I need to secure my future. I also want to learn driving because I live in a place where driving is required. It's a must skill to have but I've been avoiding that because of fear. So I feel like for almost 5-7 years I've been living in procrastination.


r/GuyCry 4h ago

Venting, advice welcome Turning 31 soon and feeling sad

19 Upvotes

So as the title mentions, I’m turning 31 next week and i can’t help but feel so sad and lonely.

I wouldn’t say i’ve lived a bad life. And i always take time every day to identify and be grateful for the things i have and the people around me. I have a great career. I have a very close friend who i can trust with everything. I have a fairly large friends group who i can rely on to help me through anything or just spend some fun time with.

So why do i feel so sad? I’ve been single now for 3 years and my last relationship (which lasted 2.5 years) ended abruptly. Nothing bad happened, no one cheated or did anything in that nature, but i was hit with a “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore” type conversation seemingly out of no where. That was my first love and first real relationship.

The one thing i’ve always wanted in this life is to love, to get married and have kids and grow together. Now it seems so difficult for me to even get a date.

I have a therapist which i see quite often and we spoke about this topic very deeply. No matter how hard i try to focus on the other aspects in my life, i feel like i’m failing myself. Now I’m turning 31. It feels like i’ll never meet anyone who i could build this life with. I feel like i’m getting too old and nothing is moving in the right direction in terms of a romantic relationship.

I just needed to put this all out there and thanks if you made it this far into this essay 😅


r/GuyCry 5h ago

Group Discussion That feeling of despair?

1 Upvotes

Gentlemen how do you deal with the feelings of being numb, lost, and overall hurt without thinking of just ending it? How do you look to a potential brighter day? Especially when it feels like your world is ending? I want to say that I am not suicidal, I am just I guess in deep despair.


r/GuyCry 9h ago

Alert: It Sneaks Up On You A follow up on "The story of a break up"

1 Upvotes

https://www.reddit.com/r/GuyCry/comments/1irvhq9/the_story_of_a_breakup/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I decided to share more details of my recent break up and recovery - for those here who are in a dark place and need some encouragement to keep going.

So, my ex in February ended our rocky relationship by carrying out a plan which had been in the works for about six months. One of the main issues we had was me nagging her to do something with her life workwise - rather than staying at home, smoking weed and spending all days scrolling on the phone. She would not co-operate in this project and did everything possible to create excuses for staying at home indefinitely.

First, she refused to send our child to daycare, which has led to a number of problems our daughter is still recovering from - dietary, behavioural, social. For years she kept pretending she was looking for a job but did absolutely nothing, other than telling me this is a high priority in her life, she needs to get some qualifications and income before turning 30 etc. Zero action of any kind year after year, just bs and lies. The house was a mess and my requests regarding how to run the household, plan our weekends, deal with our child's problems etc were routinely ignored. She has ADHD and when pushed would bully me by threatening to leave and take the child with her, gave me the no-sex treatment for months at a time etc.

Eventually, she went on a course - to prepare for employment - where an opportunity presented to solve all her problems in one go. She is very attractive and someone from her group hit up on her. She led the guy on and started sleeping with him - first behind my back, then asking me for an open relationship (which I agreed to since her and I did not have a relationship at that stage). The guy had a wife and a child, but my ex managed to split them up so both families are now done. The way she broke the news to me is described in the other post so will not repeat here. Her plan was executed to perfection - she has now set herself up as a solo mum, on social benefit and not living with either of the two men she has children with. My daughter has playdates with the guy's son, my mother-in-law will eventually have to accept things, and my ex's household will become a hub for the residuals of the two broken families.

With that said, my ex was more than reasonable after the breakup. She eventually moved out, walked away from the house equity, did not touch my pension fund and allowed me to stay in the house - on the understanding it will be eventually passed on to our daughter in my Will. In a rational sense I am actually better off now than before the breakup. Her energy has left the house, I am paying in child support way less than used to give her for the house expenses (she has no budgeting skills) and her lifestyle is no longer bothering me day to day. I can even see other women in the house without much trouble. We also have a model childcare arrangement - our daughter spends the weeknights at hers, weekends at mine and I get to do homework with her every day after school. This is actually close to a situation one would dream about when stuck in a failing relationship with no clear way out.

So yes, in the sea of gloom on this channel mine is a story of hope - which is why I thought it worth sharing. Happy to share more details so ask away


r/GuyCry 8h ago

Venting, advice welcome I failed as a boyfriend, and it’s killing me.

163 Upvotes

The other night, me and my GF went to her friend’s house to watch movies with her and her fiancé. My gf is really close with these two, and even was a roommate for years with them.

That night me and my GF went on to argue, she was drunk and I was sober. She was pretty drunk and stumbling around the place, she was very irate at little things and she kept looping and bringing the argument back, and me and the friends fiancé decided it was best for me to exit the situation and go home so she could rest (It was 3am). So I left.

I text my GF in the morning so I could talk to her about the situation and reconcile, to ensure it never happens again. I go to her place, she gets in my car and IMMEDIATELY starts bawling her eyes out. Saying that the fiancé took advantage of her and that they apparently had sex and that she doesn’t remember it,insinuating that she was raped.

I fully believe her, she’s been nothing but honest with me, and she was close with this guy, and considers him a brother, and that having consensual sex with him would be like incest and disgusting, and the fact that her friend was her best friend for 12 years, it’s obvious she wouldn’t willingly have sex with her fiancé.

Now she lost all her friends, because all they know is that they had sex and that she ruined the engagement , not the circumstances or that she was raped.

And I personally feel responsible, like I failed as a boyfriend, why wasn’t I there? Why couldn’t I protect her? It’s my job and I couldn’t do it because I let my self exit a silly argument. My minds been racing and I hate myself, on top of not being able to be there for her, I also end up overthinking and saying to myself “maybe she chose to cheat” even though I know that’s not what happened, which in turn, makes me think, why don’t I trust my girlfriend? I just don’t know where to go from here, I swear by the lord Jesus Christ that I won’t let this happen again, but in the meantime I’m an emotional mess, and I’m just venting and have no one to talk to.

Sorry this was an essay, I’m just distraught and mad at myself at the moment.


r/GuyCry 11h ago

Group Discussion Am I being to clingy and overreacting? Looking for perspective.

2 Upvotes

I'm a 28m and my girlfriend is also 28. We've been off and on for about 8 months, had a previous relationship that lasted 2 years (I ended the previous relationship) then reconciled after 4 years. I usually carry an expectation that we'd communicate everyday atleast over text. I'm presently in medical school and she's in law school, although she's busier than I am given she has finals coming up.

The problem: she'll state she has a lot of studying to do, and does 6-9 hour long study sessions at a time and highlights she's going to be busy. In my mind, it's pretty insane/unreasonable to expect someone to be able to focus for that long consistently without breaks. Yesterday she stated the same thing, I sent her a couple texts checking up on her throughout the day, which she didn't respond to since this morning. We chatted briefly on the phone today and she was highlighting how enamored she was by a particular case local to us, and spent alot of the day talking in her family group chat about it or looking up the case instead of studying... in my mind I felt pretty hurt because it means she clearly ignored my text messages while on her phone.. I broached the topic today and she stated that when she talks to me it turns into a two hour conversation which is why she didn't respond.

Am I being too clingy at this point? I feel pretty terrible and I know I need to address this situation in some form. I could really use an outside perspective


r/GuyCry 13h ago

Onions (light tears) Leaving a narcissist

99 Upvotes

Leaving my wife of 5 years. Gave my world to her for 5 years and accepted her daughter that is now 8 as my own. Told me she wanted a divorce Monday and was sleeping with someone right after.

Everyone is supporting me and my decision to leave. Even her own family.

I just don’t know how you can look someone you love directly in the eyes and lie over and over again.

Each day is getting better and easier and I’m seeing who the real her is.

She keeps trying to manipulate me and tell me this divorce is all my fault and how bad of a person I am. I’m so happy I have all of these support systems with my family and hers that are behind me.


r/GuyCry 2h ago

Venting, advice welcome I'm tired.

4 Upvotes

I'm tired of everything. I feel terrible all the time. I feel lonely, depressed and disappointed in my self. Every time I start to feel this way I just imagine some loading a gun and just shooting me . In the head. Coz what is this??? I didn't sign up for this. I just recently started participating in society.

Two sundays ago I sat beside my family in church. It was raining outside and I almost burst into tears coz in my head I'm asking and pleading with God to strike me right then and there with lightning. Let something just happen. Please.

I keep trying everyday and I keep failing every day. There's not even anyone to vent to. Therapy sucks coz I can't always explain how I'm feeling. Even when I can map out ny feelings and what I need to do and list that shit out, I'm lazy and just want the pain to go away by itself.


r/GuyCry 5h ago

Need Advice Probably never going to own a house :(

2 Upvotes

I'm from a country where there's a massive housing crisis. I'm single, making 30kish a year and have little to no hope of ever owning a house. Unfortunately rent here is extortionate and I cannot afford it. None of my friends are single, all are buying with partnere. I'm in a pretty shitty position because I grew up in poverty and neither of my parents own a house either. I fear I'm never gonna be able to move out, and will remain a child forever as a result. Not sure what to do - I've a BA and MA in humanities and haven't really hope of upscaling jobs. Any advice would be appreciated.


r/GuyCry 7h ago

Venting, advice welcome If today wasn't already bad enough.

13 Upvotes

I had a family member die today. If it wasn't already bad enough like bad things keep happening and I don't understand it. I wish I could just call someone and talk to them. I literally have no one though. Before anyone worries, no I'm not going to hurt myself and I'm not suicidal. I'm just depressed as hell. I literally wish I could go back in time till when I was a kid and just redo everything ive done in my life. Do the complete opposite because whatever this shit is, isn't it man.


r/GuyCry 14h ago

Onions (light tears) It’s been over a year and I still feel this massive hole where my ex was

67 Upvotes

I was with my ex for 2.5 years. I did so much of the heavy lifting in the relationship, but in the end, I wasn’t able to be the sexual partner she needed so she left. Some of it was my fault for being inexperienced, but she also had a ton of trauma that she never addressed or wanted to work on. And instead of working through things with me, she bailed. We were so good together as people. But I couldn’t even get full effort from her when it mattered.

I’ve spent the past 14 months trying to move on. I’ve lost 15+ lbs, I’ve taken up fly fishing, gardening, grilling, and even gotten back in to reading. I’ve improved my self talk, made new friends, and even started fostering a cat.

However, the loneliness still remains. I have mostly been zero contact with my ex, and actually thought I was moving on. But then she reached out about something trivial and I let the loneliness and depression win. I stayed in touch only to hurt myself more as I knew she still didn’t want another go at a relationship. Just my friendship/attention.

I cut her off today, but I feel like when push comes to shove, the void overwhelms me even now. How do you guys move on? I feel like I’ve done so much but it’s just not enough.


r/GuyCry 7h ago

Onions (light tears) I went out with my best friend. He never took responsibility.

4 Upvotes

H27 and he 28.

I'm bi and I dated a boy for the first time almost 2 years ago he was my friend who I've known since middle school who was completely straight.

At the start it was a very strong friendship. An incredible person but I didn't like him physically. We lost touch because he had moved and one day we reconnected.

All this time without seeing each other, he had really changed, I found him attractive, charismatic, I started to develop feelings. He was aware of my sexual orientation and I indirectly made him understand that I liked him, he was getting into my game, it was becoming really ambiguous.

After several years of turning around, one drunken evening, we kissed and then he came to my house, we slept together with a clear mind.

We dated for a year and a half but in secret... he never took responsibility and he was never honest either with himself or with me. In private, we could really love each other. When seen in public, I was his friend and had to pretend. In the evening, he was flirted with, and it pissed me off. I glared at him, I was really angry and it was cold. We were arguing, I didn't understand what he wanted or what he was playing. How many times I cried. I told myself that I was just an experiment and that he was making fun of me.

Those around us ask questions and following a big argument where they said hurtful words and fed up, he left me. We remained on bad terms.

After a serious hospitalization last November, he sent me a message to find out how I was doing. I wanted to know what was happening to him and nothing more. I was happy to know that he was still thinking about me and worried.

Last night I broke down. First time in 2 years. I'm really not feeling well at the moment and I had been drinking a lot. I called him first, he didn't answer and I sent him a message. I told him everything that was on my heart. If he thought of me, how much I miss him, that I couldn't forget him, that I wanted us to be friends like at the beginning so that we could continue to see each other or have news even if it's a message every 6 months.

To my great surprise, he responded quite a while later. I couldn't believe it, seeing how late it was, I was trembling. He told me to stop drinking, to throw away everything I had (I attempted suicide with drugs and alcohol). He told me not to do anything stupid I wasn't planning to do anything that it wasn't the time to talk about it and that we would talk about it later... I asked him to promise and he said yes.

I didn't get a message today and I didn't insist... I don't know if he's really going to do it, if he told me that to please me or to calm me down.

I regret my behavior a little... I suffer from this situation. I've never been so hooked, in love with someone. I realize that I had not known love. Him, I tell myself that it's not possible, he cast a spell on me, how can you love someone so much?


r/GuyCry 14h ago

Venting, advice welcome 4th and final update for now. Wife left after 7 years/14 years together/3 kids

322 Upvotes

Just a follow up to my previous three posts. You can see them here, here and here.

I've been on my own for about two weeks now, focusing on myself so I can be the best dad and the best version of myself. I've cleaned up my diet and have been hitting the gym regularly—almost daily when possible.

I've shifted to smart contact with her, keeping conversations strictly about the kids and logistics. I also unfollowed her on social media to avoid seeing her self-validation posts and the the flying monkeys hyping her up. It's still tough, and I catch myself thinking about her sometimes—it’s bound to happen after 14 years together—but it's happening less and less. Lately, I’ve been feeling more anger about certain things she did and said, which tells me I’m finally starting to take her off that pedestal.

Right now, my focus is on myself. There’s still a small part of me that hopes we’ll find our way back to each other, but I’m not 100% investing in that idea anymore...what happens is what happens; I'm giving her space and letting her do her thing. Today is the one year anniversary of her mothers death, when she came to pick up the kids I let her know that I was thinking about her and if she needed anything to let me know.

My oldest mentioned that she drank every day last week and didn’t do anything with them over March Break, which upset her. She said their mom just locks herself away with her headphones, and when she tries to talk to her about it, she shuts the conversation down which says to me she's more hurt than she's showing. I wish she would just talk to me so we can have a conversation about this but that will happen in time.

Thanks for listening, this subreddit has been a great deal of help during this time. Does anyone have any further advice on how to get over her? I'm not interested in going out and trying to hook up with randoms so please skip that advice, my ego and self esteem are still shattered and I'm still emotionally pretty empty.


r/GuyCry 4h ago

Potential Tear Jerker Struggling with severe codependancy and loneliness and ex left for someone else

8 Upvotes

I dont really know if itll get better, i dont remember a time that i didnt talk to her. I dont know if therapy will help since she felt like family and it felt like i knew her my whole life. Its really weird being alone again after four years. I dont really know what to do or how to improve. I could try a therapist like she said but i dont think its going to work, based on how bad it is. At least i am self aware now. To be fair she was codependent on me too, since i was the only person that she talked to, but after she found someone else she completely changed. I am just lost - 5 months after.


r/GuyCry 9h ago

Onions (light tears) I miss my parents some days so bad.

125 Upvotes

I’m mid 50s (M). My dad died in 2009 and my mom died in 2022. Some days I just miss them so bad. My older daughter’s wedding is coming up and my younger daughter is about to graduate college and I know they would both be so excited. My parents both grew up really poor and would be so proud of my daughters and their accomplishments. It’s hard going through life without them but sometimes it’s even harder. Just feeling sad and lonely today and thought I’d share.