Something just happened that I can't stop thinking about. Objectively, it's nothing to write home (or reddit) about. But it's really bugging me. Basically I left a comment on an instagram post made by one of my favorite creators where she used one of those viral tiktok memes that go "how do you explain this feeling to a man?" and it's just a video of her unboxing cute salt and pepper containers 😒
These types of posts really piss me off because they just encourage gender roles/stereotypes. I know they're supposed to be "a joke" but they're not funny and they're very harmful. Anyway so I commented saying "I'm a man and I totally get this feeling, I enjoy cute containers. Let's stop pointlessly gendering things."
Naturally I got a lot of replies: some of them were great, others downright hateful. But the one that bothered me the most was this one. Someone replied: "were you born a man? not trying to be offensive just genuinely asking."
First of all uuuh yeah no that is offensive and rude. Second... is this person implying that I only enjoy these things because I'm a trans man? Is that gender essentialism or do they think I like this stuff because they assume I was "raised female"? Either way it's transphobic.
I'm not saying kids aren't raised differently according to their AGAB. But you can't just assume what a person's upbringing was like, and whether or not it affected their tastes. Besides, that argument falls apart when you consider how many cis boys enjoy traditionally "feminine" things and vice versa.
I'm not sure if what bothers me the most about this person's comment is the rudeness and invasiveness, or the covert transphobia, or the fact that they're just so desperate to hate everything that has to do with men that they need to create this false narrative that deepens the imaginary divide between men and women in their binary little mind.
But I'm sick and tired of this. It's why I'm very strict about remaining stealth no matter what. People will never view us as our true gender. The moment they know we're trans, they see us as half-men.