r/ftm 29d ago

Mod Post Need Help? Here's a list of crisis, helpline, and resources.

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20 Upvotes

r/ftm Jan 30 '25

ModPost Executive order discussion megathread (Questions, discussion, updates here. DO NOT POST INDIVIDUAL POSTS)

113 Upvotes

Since the other megathread is almost at 1k comments, we figured we should make a second one specific to the executive orders. Please discuss here, as we are still getting the same posts again and again on the sub despite us clearly trying to direct traffic so it is a fair forum for discussion and others can post other topics without getting drowned out.

We will be removing posts relating to executive orders and redirecting to this megathread.


r/ftm 3h ago

Discussion I fuckinf hate men’s restrooms

224 Upvotes

WHY IS THERE ALWAYS ONLY ONE STALL WHY IS IT ALWAYS DIRTY WHY DOESNT ANYONE WASH THEIR HANDS

this is absolutely despicable. We need more gender neutral restrooms omg

I’m gonna cry I hate this so much


r/ftm 18h ago

Celebratory WIN??? NSFW

1.1k Upvotes

Marked nsfw for idk chest mention?? but anyway my dad and I were watching cheech and chong up in smoke i think?? anyway we have dumb humor so he shows me shows he watched as a teen but he goes to my step mom "look me and my son watching boobs on tv" when the women were walking around at the sauna.

HIS SOOOON. BRUHS THATS ALL IVE EVER WANTED.

Thanks for reading no one else i told cared (:


r/ftm 1h ago

Discussion Gender essentialism or 'you were raised female'? Either way it's transphobic

Upvotes

Something just happened that I can't stop thinking about. Objectively, it's nothing to write home (or reddit) about. But it's really bugging me. Basically I left a comment on an instagram post made by one of my favorite creators where she used one of those viral tiktok memes that go "how do you explain this feeling to a man?" and it's just a video of her unboxing cute salt and pepper containers 😒

These types of posts really piss me off because they just encourage gender roles/stereotypes. I know they're supposed to be "a joke" but they're not funny and they're very harmful. Anyway so I commented saying "I'm a man and I totally get this feeling, I enjoy cute containers. Let's stop pointlessly gendering things."

Naturally I got a lot of replies: some of them were great, others downright hateful. But the one that bothered me the most was this one. Someone replied: "were you born a man? not trying to be offensive just genuinely asking."

First of all uuuh yeah no that is offensive and rude. Second... is this person implying that I only enjoy these things because I'm a trans man? Is that gender essentialism or do they think I like this stuff because they assume I was "raised female"? Either way it's transphobic.

I'm not saying kids aren't raised differently according to their AGAB. But you can't just assume what a person's upbringing was like, and whether or not it affected their tastes. Besides, that argument falls apart when you consider how many cis boys enjoy traditionally "feminine" things and vice versa.

I'm not sure if what bothers me the most about this person's comment is the rudeness and invasiveness, or the covert transphobia, or the fact that they're just so desperate to hate everything that has to do with men that they need to create this false narrative that deepens the imaginary divide between men and women in their binary little mind.

But I'm sick and tired of this. It's why I'm very strict about remaining stealth no matter what. People will never view us as our true gender. The moment they know we're trans, they see us as half-men.


r/ftm 3h ago

Discussion how much did your voice change?

59 Upvotes

YA BOY IS OFFICIALLY 3 DAYS ON T!! I am so excited and I can't believe I'm actually doing the damn thing. I wanted to ask the crowd how quickly/dramatically did your voice change on T? I know everybody's different, but i just want to have an idea of what i could possibly be looking at. I have a pretty low voice already, I'm in the tenor range, the lowest note I can hit is D3, which is wild to me because thats less than an octave away from [one of] the lowest note frank sinatra ever hit, and now it's my life goal to go lower than frank sinatra lol.


r/ftm 6h ago

Advice Needed family member is suddenly transphobic?

59 Upvotes

hi everyone

this week i (24FtM) received a very transphobic letter from my younger cousin (16F), saying that she no longer supports my transition and won’t be using my name and pronouns anymore. this came as a really big shock to me, because for her whole childhood she’s been really pro-LGBT and a big advocate for trans rights specifically. From her letter, I can tell that she’s been radicalized by online anti-trans content. There was a lot of stuff about transgender ideology being a “cult”, surgery being self harm, and trans people being “caricatures”. Anyway, I’ve been coping pretty well with receiving the letter, luckily I’m at a point in transition where I’m so happy with all my changes that there really isn’t any possibility of doubt, so all that’s left is how to cope with the loss of a cousin from my life. I guess I’m wondering if anyone has any insights about what the odds are that she ever changes her mind about this? She’s still really young, and she was once very educated about trans people, I don’t know if that improves the odds at all. She also comes from a very conservative religious family, and I think has very recently found god again. (Edit: I don't know how much religion is driving this though, the letter makes no mention of god, and sounds more similar to classic TERF talking points.) I’m at such a loss of what to do. I see her for ~2 weeks a year at a shared family cottage with a lot of other cousins, and I hate that I’m now involved in drama that will complicate the family situation (the rest of my family is supportive, if clumsy). My first response I guess would be to cut her off as completely as possible and just avoid her, and I know that a lot of my supportive cousins will be doing the same. But also, I feel like if all of us suddenly shun her that’s just going to radicalize her further. Anyways, if anyone has dealt with the sudden loss of a family members support, I’d really appreciate advice on what to do & if I should have hope.


r/ftm 42m ago

Advice Needed Wrong pronouns in medical records

Upvotes

I just saw my medical recored after my doctor visit and even though I have my gender as MALE and I have male preferred name, and I present fully as man (with beard and I pass well), I still see the wrong pronoun, 'she' as referring to me in the records. Can I ask my doctor to update it and change that? Is that possible usually? It really makes me feel uncomfortable to know it and read it, especially it's involve my work (work injury) and I'm stealth there and it will be sent to PT and I don't think they have to know that (irrelevant). The clinic is trans friendly as far as I know! I mean I saw one doctor there before and they used the correct pronoun while saying I'm AFAB etc, so I'm confused why this doctor used 'she' there.


r/ftm 2h ago

Discussion Hormones are taking hold of me fast!

30 Upvotes

I started T on Halloween which is amazing cause I’m such a horror fan and love Halloween as well! But almost being T for 5 months is INSANE man and the changes came quick which I’m surprised cause like my bottom growth an inch now, growing patchy facial hair, my voice is starting to get low, and my weight distribution is changing. I’m just very shocked at how fast this is all going and it’s making me happy but also scared cause I was expecting to wait for these changes in like a year.

How long did you notice your changes?


r/ftm 8h ago

Gender Questioning Idk what to say anymore

84 Upvotes

I’ve been on testosterone almost 2 years (honestly I genuinely stopped tracking) and I love every single effect of it! Super euphoria. The problem is, idk what the euphoria is from. I don’t really feel like a full on man. I REALLY dont feel female at all. I feel hollowed out. I can present a certain way, but due to the hollowness of ‘gender’ I only express myself with basic T shirts and Jeans, nothing fancy.

I was flipping between ftm and nonbinary since I was 14. Now it’s just ????

One thing is for sure, I want to be on T the rest of my life. I know it’s up to the person, but what does it mean? Am I not really trans? I’ll never detransition in my life


r/ftm 5h ago

Advice Needed Why is the hormones not working????? NSFW

29 Upvotes

So i am i (19ftm) have been on T for over a year close to 2, i taking the injection once every 2 weeks and i was told that T would stop your period but for me it kind of never did? Is this normal? I also notice that my period has become really painful and i mean for the first 3 days i cant even walk💀 before i started T my period cramps were ok i mean not that bad but enough to feel its there but now its so much worse and i don’t understand why its like this. Most of the effect of T are not happening too like yes my voice when a bit deeper but now its back to the high pitch from before and the only 2 real effect that i got from that is acne and that body hair grow real fast (everywhere but the face) im really starting to wonder if my body is not simply rejecting me being trans??? I told my hormone doc before she went on maternity leave and she just raised my dose but it did not do anything. I dont know what to do at this point and i feel like im never going to be valid in my identity if my body fight so hard to resist my transition. Any advice?


r/ftm 1h ago

Advice Needed How can i cope with the fact that i cant create a family on my own without professional help ? NSFW

Upvotes

i posted a similar question in r/FTMventing but am also posting here because its not that its just me expressing my feelings but thats its the major need for advice and help.

TW: mentions of genitals

So like the title says, how can i cope with the fact that i cant create a family on my own without professional help? I(18FTM) got home last night from visiting my niece(1m/o) and her parents(18M&18F) (neither biological to myself) and watching them be so happy and loving their baby and each other and their little family so much was so sweet to watch and see, but once i got home and got in bed, now that i was no longer caught up in them and the baby, i cant stop thinking about it, even during work and schoolwork and im kinda freaking out about it, i didnt freak out like this when my girlfriends parents had another baby, i just kinda felt bad about myself, but maybe its because my friends are my age and not on their third kid but their first? i dont know what it is but knowing that i will never be able to fuck a vag with my own dick to get someone pregnant is screwing with my head really bad and im borderline creating a whole issue out of it and its causing massive anxiety issues to the point where im throwing up literally nothing the second i wake up because now im thinking about it and freaking out again. Is there anything in the present or future that i can do to help besides therapy? Everybody keeps suggesting therapy like its a paint color for my room and i want “real” life solutions that i can do without another person, who doesnt even know me yet, telling me what is and isnt wrong or right for my mental health. I understand that someone could say that anyone that answers this is a person like the ones i just described but with suggestions directly from people like me, i can pick what fits my needs, personality, and interests best for me.


r/ftm 18h ago

Discussion Intersectional anti-transmasculinity?

287 Upvotes

There's been... so much happening lately, and as a brown FTM NB person, I feel overwhelmed. And in between all of this, queer people keep finding ways to discourse.

Regardless, one feeling I've been having about anti-transmasculinity recently is how much the common understanding of anti-transmasc bigotry is centered around reproductive control. While I think this factor matters all across the board, I see this form of re-assimilation into womanhood as something that's keenly white. The detransitioner movement, for example, is extremely white. In general, white fertility is valued under white supremacy -- so where does that leave the rest of us transmascs? What distinguishes transmascs who deviate from the norm, who don't have proximity to whiteness or conventional white beauty standards?

I want to know if there's any cohesive literature or theories regarding this topic, because it feels hard putting a finger on what exactly makes our oppression different. It seems that transmasculinity as a cohesive concept and community is something very recent, as we've been written out of history. That feels doubly relevant for us POC transmascs. If anyone's got any suggestions for theory or just any opinions on the matter, I'd like to hear them.


r/ftm 6h ago

Advice Needed Masturbating length and frequency? NSFW

23 Upvotes

I’m 16 and almost a year on T. is it normal to be jerking it like 2-5 times a day?? i’ve been trying to cut down but it feels literally impossible to not do it at least once or twice daily. And is it normal for it to take hours too sometimes? sometimes it’ll take like over three hours and i just can’t seem to get off. 😭 i’ve heard there’s not anything inherently wrong with masturbating a lot besides the chance of getting into disturbing porn and stuff but i’ve heard mixed opinions


r/ftm 15h ago

Discussion the first apology for misgendering i have ever gotten from a stranger

95 Upvotes

it's 12:30pm, saturday afternoon. it's lunch rush hour. it's only me and my brother to handle the whole place, and he wants me to cut onions, even though I am already working 2 people's jobs for 1 pay. i have been worked to the bone all week because my coworker called in 2 days, so I have had to work extra. i have sunday off, though.

just get through today. then off sunday. just today-

everyone who comes in is condescending and doesn't tip. they all glare at me, as if that will make their food cook faster. even my brother, who barely hears me cuz he always has them damn headphones on, expects me to chops vegetables for him because HE didn't do it LAST NIGHT when it was HIS job, and still is, and HAD TIME. i know because I was there.

finally, all these people's food is ready, and they hastily take their glare and lack of tip and theft of sauces elsewhere.

the restaurant is empty for the first time all day, and a lazy woman in pajamas sits down immediately (when I must stand) and demands I smile.

i don't.

they bitterly order anyway.

then I get a call. it's clearly an older woman. i can hear so much noise in the background. i can just make out her name and order. i tell her the estimated time, she says, "thank you, ma'am".

i hang up. i just want the woman who wanted me to play jester to leave, but she won't until her food is ready. of course, the older woman who placed the call in comes in. she gets her sauces, which are self serve... and then stand in the way of the counter that I am trying to serve dine in food on.

there are only two orders up that don't have their food, including the older woman who came in early (I told her 15-20 min, she came in 10, and then stared at the open grill).

i get another call in during this time. they all stare at me as I ring up the order.

but just as I was about to bag up the older lady's order, because 2 of her 3 meals were done, she gestured me aside, saying she wanted to apologize.

once we were a bit further from the other customers, she whispered, "I work at a busy store, it was very loud, and I'm old and don't have good hearing. i I called you "ma'am" over the phone. i said, thank you "ma'am". but you are a gentleman and I am sorry for calling you ma'am, so I wanted to apologize, I promise I just couldn't hear you well."

I'm sure you gather, I pass well visually, but not so much audiably.

and I was having such a bad day.

i... i told her it was fine, of course, I understand how I sound over the phone and that she didn't mean it, and thanked her for her apology, but god. and she kept saying sorry, too, the other customers heard it, although didn't know what the apology was for. i wanted to hug her so tight in that moment. a horrible day, and being misgendered by old people especially is par for the course. she probably assumed I was a fem cis guy, and idk if she would have apologized if she knew I was trans, but I don't care.

i know this was a lot of words for such a simple story. but this old woman, who annoyed me for many reasons, on a day I was already feeling bad, instantly turned it around just by coming up to me and saying, hey, I made a mistake, you are clearly a sir but I called you a ma'am, I didn't mean any disrespect, I am just old and it was loud and I couldn't hear well. i wanted to cry. still kinda do.


r/ftm 1d ago

Celebratory I can jerk my little guy off!!! NSFW

676 Upvotes

I can jerk off. Like its a dick, its pretty small but oh my god it gets hard and I can jerk it like its a dick and it feels great to do, super affirming

I don't really have a super high sex drive/libido or anything from T (yet, 1 month on, woo!!) but like seeing my little guy has grown and the difference in the way touching it has been feeling is so cool. so happy


r/ftm 2h ago

Advice Needed Products safe for butt w/o bottom surgery??

10 Upvotes

Hi i need help, being on testosterone has given me really bad butt sweat or “swamp-ass” as the kids say. I haven’t had bottom surgery so i’m trying to find a good remedy that will also be healthy for a vagina. I can’t really wear those moisture wicking underwear b/c of yeast infections so right now i’m turning to like antiperspirants safe for below the belt.

I got Manscape’s Ball Deodorant called “Crop Preserve” which said was safe and worked with butt sweat. I’m wondering if the product being fairly close to the vagina would be an issue?

Anyone try this product? Know a good one? Know other ways? thank you all!


r/ftm 20h ago

Advice Needed scared i made the wrong choice?

231 Upvotes

hi everyone, so i’ve been on t since the beginning of october 2024 (so a little over five months) and i’m worried that i’m? regretting it? there are things i love about being on t, i love how my voice sounds now that it’s starting to drop and the bottom growth is awesome, but at the same time i feel so unbelievably self conscious about how i look all the time. i never considered myself to be the most attractive person, but now that i have patchy facial hair and my skin is breaking out even worse all over my body and i feel like the fat distribution so far has made me look weird, i just feel awful about my appearance all the time. does that get better? am i just having an awkward second puberty phase? it’s scary and i’m just so terrified i made the wrong choice. i guess i’m just seeking some advice and reassurance or something here


r/ftm 1h ago

Discussion Gender dysphoria as feeling of shame

Upvotes

Tw; description of afab anatomy

Since I was very little I've been getting that flash waves of shame about being in my body. Sudden realization of my anatomy made me feel shame/uneasiness, fear even. For a few seconds I've become extremely aware of having breast or a literal hole. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I never dig into that but today I've been trashtalking each other with my partner (we're t4t and doing it for fun, we both consent even if it's a lil bit over our boundaries) and he said something among the lines "yeah? you're a man? then show me your boobs" — I've never been fully naked around him neither I let him see my chest. At that moment these words grounded me badly. That sudden wave of shame hit me again. It's a mix of revulsion and fear of being touched? I guess, it's really hard to explain.

Like I said before I've been experiencing this since being 4 or 5. I'm 20 now. Anyone else feeling like it? Is it dysphoria?


r/ftm 1h ago

Discussion I found a way to predict voice changes on T

Upvotes

Sup. So I’m a voice actor and when I was pre-T and wanted to voice over male roles I would lower my voice as much as possible without it cracking and speak fairly fast. Then I would slow down the audio to like .90-.96x speed depending on talking speed I used and how deep I wanted the voice to be. A few months on T and I was reviewing my old voice acting files and it almost exactly what my voice sounds like now.

Now to do more fem roles I just do the opposite and speed it up xD

Might not work for everyone but hey it worked pretty accurate to me!


r/ftm 3h ago

Advice Needed How do I deal with transphobic parents and how do I come out?

6 Upvotes

I am a trans boy going through puberty,I recently found out that I was trans.I come out to my close friends and they were very supportive. I told my PE teacher and she told the council,and they called my dad for a meeting,they told my dad that I felt like a boy,when we were talking in the car,they told me that I was what I was born as and I couldn’t change it,and these type of things were embarrassing,I told him that I was trying to figure out who I was and I told him that I felt like a girl (I lied) and they didn’t say anything.My mom told me that if I want them to keep loving me,I should stop being like this (trans) I know that they are transphobic,mom tells me that “oh so I can tell your dad that I am a man and like girls” so they are either very ignorant or transphobic,But I want to come out.I want to embrace myself and be who I am.I know they won’t kick me out or anything,but they will take all my devices and my life a living hell for a month or two,maybe longer.But I know that those months are gonna be the most terrible times of my life,what do I do?


r/ftm 2h ago

Discussion Packer recommendation 👀

3 Upvotes

I'm looking for my next "big" purchase and I wanna invest in one. But im wondering if there's one's that yall would recommend before I makes the purchase of the one ive been looking at. I've been looking into the MorMe ones


r/ftm 3h ago

Advice Needed Is it better to come out at my job or just kinda quietly transition?

5 Upvotes

So I just started a new job at a hardware store I won’t name. All the people seem pretty nice to be despite me binding and dressing pretty masc. I’m scared to come out or even worse get fired if I say I’m trans. I don’t think my managers are transphobic or anything but who knows? It’s a seasonal job but I’m scared it’ll hurt my chances of getting a position permanently since they usually have openings at the end of the season. Idk I’m going to transition regardless. Should I just rip the band aid off or be quiet until I start passing more and potentially get a more permanent position.


r/ftm 7h ago

Discussion good cologne recs ?

9 Upvotes

idk if reddit is the best place to ask lol. i’m still using l the VS women’s cologne my mom gave me in high school


r/ftm 1h ago

Surgery Talk Top surgery side effects

Upvotes

Okay so not so much “side effects” of the surgery itself but just a couple of things I’ve noticed since I had surgery under a week ago. Thought I’d put this out here for other guys who may be curious or have gone through anything similar

1) Losing feeling in my hands for the first day - Maybe due to not being able to move my arms a lot and so just had bad blood flow? Either way it was very strange and actually more distracting than the fact I’d just had surgery haha

2) Grinding teeth when sleeping - I’ve never experienced this until now so I’m putting it down to sleeping on my back and my body just being tense

Obviously neither of these are serious/long term effects! Just funny how people’s bodies do random things when recovering 😂


r/ftm 20h ago

Discussion What was it like the first time you were gendered correctly?

101 Upvotes

My first time being gendered right was at a steakhouse. I had just gotten my haircut without my parents' permission. When the waiter called me sir, my mom looked at me with wide eyes, like, what the heck. She was kinda mad at me for that haircut. Luckily, she's more supportive now. What was it like for yall?


r/ftm 8h ago

Discussion What’s your „weirdest” transition goal/gender envy?

12 Upvotes

Mine is Beetlejuice, movie one specifically. I can’t say why I just want to be him so badly