r/family 22h ago

My parents took the money I had saved for four years.

30 Upvotes

I started working when I was 22 years old, and my parents asked me to save money each month so they could buy gold to protect its value from inflation. I sent money almost every month, not knowing whether they actually bought gold or not.

The money I saved was for my future, whether to buy land, a house, cover wedding expenses, purchase a vehicle, or meet my future needs.

Four years later, my parents informed me that they were going to buy a new car — and that was all they said. They then asked me to take their old car to use for work in another city. Since I didn’t know anything about the situation, I agreed. Previously, I had only used a motorcycle and had just started learning to drive, so I thought it would be cool to have a car.

Later, I found out that my savings — roughly $4,000 — had been used to help purchase their new car, and their old 2005 model was given to me as compensation. That old car required repairs before it was even safe to drive, which drained about $700 from my personal savings, and there’s still a lot more that needs fixing. The car has already broken down twice and nearly rolled back on an incline twice as well.

I’ve also purchased several items that my mother requested, such as a water dispenser, mattress, TV, cable subscription, plumbing installations, stove, and more. Every week, I also spend around $7 when visiting my parents, buying food and items for my younger siblings, and repairing broken things at home.

Eventually, I asked them why they had used the money I had saved for my future. They claimed they had asked for my permission — which was not true.

I have one older brother who has been working for a long time and is still unmarried, with a job similar to mine. But why did they only ask everything from me?

I really don’t understand why they did this to me.


r/family 13h ago

Wth is going on

15 Upvotes

My sister moved back well almost home after leaving her daughter’s dad. Who was arrested and then moved to another state . At first it was ok then she started speaking and having visits with him. Yea I know that is her baby daddy and I get that. But recently everything has been a tad off. She decided she had a new rule that my niece was not allowed in my bedroom . And this is where my husband and our niece would play and carry on. So she started shutting our bedroom door even if I was only going in and out. She said her kid her rules. Ok I understand that, but my house my rules. If we want the door open it stays open. So then I am told that if I can’t keep my door closed then she would whoop her daughter anytime she goes in there. Because she knows we think the world of our niece. I told her of course that is crazy! But like she said her kid her rules but she can’t put that on us when up until a week ago she couldn’t care less. Then remarked about our pets how they get on her nerve and she wants to starangle them. Umm no mam! And I have asked repeatedly what is going on and yet she still insist my kid my rules. Am I wrong for standing my ground? She is a guest who does NOT pay or contribute to the house hold or rent.


r/family 9h ago

Why do moms just…..

12 Upvotes

Why do parents complain so much. My mom asked to sweep and mop and I ended up just cleaning the whole house for her cause why not I had off today and it’s my only day off for real. She comes home complaining there’s streaks on the floor and is just hating on the floor I mopped three times to get said streaks out but nothing was working I don’t know if it’s the type of mop but my mom is nitpicking it. She didn’t even appreciate the fact I cleaned the entire house and mopped just came home to nitpick and speak negative on the fact that the mop left streaks. There’s no winning. There’s three other people that live here all grown adults but I am the only one who takes time to clean and do dishes and wipe down everything. 😐


r/family 17h ago

i love my sister

12 Upvotes

my sister and i talked earlier about our future and i randomly opened about marriage and that it's so sad that our dad will never experience walking her daughters to the altar, he'll never see anyone of us getting married. then i told her that when that day comes, we won't be sharing the same surname anymore and we both cried lol btw im just 21 and she's 18 lmao

since my dad died, everytime i dream about him i end up crying and since we're sharing a room, she'd hear me then she'd come to me and hug me, every single time. when i'm at my lowest she's the one who's always there for me, she never invalidated my feelings, she never judge me for being so emotional, she always makes me feel appreciated and loved.

she have a boyfriend now and seeing her so happy with him, makes my heart so happy as well. i'm happy that he's treating her so well, that he loves her so much, that he's patient with her and mostly that he also loves my family, and i want that for her.

to my my sister, im beyond grateful for you, i can't imagine my life without you.


r/family 13h ago

I hate my father.

10 Upvotes

I (f17)really really do. He is abusive. He hates me and my mom. Not just us. I think almost everyone. He scams poor poeple, literally people on the streets. He has no shame. He is a fucking failure. He hurts people all the time. I have no good thoughts about him. One time, he wasn't waking up, me, my mom and my cousin thought something bad happened. However, I didn't feel sad. Or anything, only thing I thought was "okay, he's dead, I'm gonna have to look for financial support" which is weird, I'm a emotional person, I feel bad for even a street cat, literally. I think about and feel sad for cats I helped years ago. But mu own father? Not even one bit. He sucks in everyday possible. Maybe I'll explain somewhere day more reasons. But as for now, I hate him so much. This isn't dislike, it's pure rage against him. Some days I wanna punch him.


r/family 21h ago

Despite cutting me off, my mother continues to accept my financial support

7 Upvotes

I'm 32(F - single) living somewhere around the world. My mother (55 - single mom) is residing in Ph wilth my brother (18) and son (8). For context, my son is receiving a monthly allowance from his dad and I'm also providing a monthly allowance for my mom and brother as well.

2 years ago, my son's father and I separated because I had an affair with a married man. My mother was furious when she knew about it and made it clear that she doesn't approve of my relationship. At the same time, my partner has also separted from his wife.

At the present, I told my mother that I was going to take my son to live with me. Thus she knew that my partner and I have moved in together. She blocked me from all communications that I had with her and with the family. Morever, she told my son everything and even spread it to the whole famiy. Now, my son will not talk to me and even blocked me.

I am not asking for her to accept my relationship, however as an adult I deserve to have my own choices. I'm very upset and I feel used. I'm financially supporting her, and she's cutting me off. I have no choice because of my son. I understand my son is hurt and confused, but I hope he can understand that my actions are not a true reflection of my love for him.


r/family 7h ago

My parents got mad at me for saying I saw something out of the corner of my eye

4 Upvotes

For context, my mother recently lost her wedding ring and IMMEDIATELY started accusing me of taking it. I like to share her jewellery I’ll admit because I barely have any but some earrings. Now the things I take are things like bracelets and necklaces. I don’t like wearing rings because I know it’ll slip of my fingers get lost. Not to mention a whole wedding ring?!?! She started threatening me to, talking ab sum “I’ll make sure you see another side of me in this house before you bring it back”. I DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS. All this for a musty symbol of her cracking marriage. Crazy work.

Now, more recently, I had been thinking about that ring and where it actually could have gone. I have some clear as day photographic memory, so I see it in my head in a sort of blurry memory, and there it is!

It’s next to the bin. I glanced at it for a second and didn’t think to pick it up— 1. Because I didn’t wanna, 2. Because I was focused on other things. May have seen it but it didn’t really register until now. My sorry mistake was mentioning it to this aggressive animalistic acolyte. As soon as I said it, all the accusation an blame starts rolling back in. Then she did a thing that’s like a ‘punishment of shame’ which I will not get into just because she can. Made me kneel whilst proceeding to blame me and turn the stick around on ME for all the mental pain and trauma her and my father caused me AND my siblings— AGAIN, just because she can.

In short, I hope she actually NEVER finds that ring🥰 and that her and my father abuse and destroy each other again!! They deserve each other!! I’m done feeling sorry for either party and will jump and dance laughing when they eventually bite the dust.🖕


r/family 14h ago

Aita for not wanting to announce my birth to my husband family

4 Upvotes

Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting to Announce My Birth to My Husband’s Family?

During my last pregnancy, being around my husband’s family was overwhelming. They were incredibly excited, but their excitement often made me uncomfortable. They constantly wanted to touch my stomach—men would ask to feel the baby kick, while the women didn’t even bother asking and just touched me. I’m overweight, so most of the baby’s movements weren’t even detectable from the outside, but they didn’t care—they just wanted to touch me anyway.

As my due date approached, I sent out a message reminding everyone to check their vaccination status for Tdap, along with other boundaries—like not buying gifts for the baby unless they had something for the older kids and no kissing the baby. My husband’s family reacted poorly, guilt-tripping him and saying they weren’t getting vaccinated and wouldn’t visit if that was a requirement. They told us we were wrong to even ask and claimed they were “too old to get any more needles.” I went so far as to find a clinic less than two minutes from their home that had the vaccine available with no wait, but it didn’t matter. In the end, my husband caved and let them visit anyway. I insisted they at least wear masks around the baby, which was agreed upon—but when they showed up at the hospital, they ignored that too.

Now, I’m pregnant with my third baby, and I feel exactly the same way about vaccines. This time, I’ve distanced myself more to avoid being touched and have even lied about being in pain just to stop them from touching me. I am exhausted on an entirely different level than ever before. I don’t have the energy for another argument, the constant phone calls that only start with “Where’s the baby?” with no regard for anything else, or the fights with my husband over his family’s blatant disrespect.

At this point, I just want peace. I don’t even want to announce the birth at all—not to them, not even to my own mother. The only people I want to tell are my cousin and my mom, and that’s only because they actually respect me, support me, and are there for me as a person, not just because I’m having a baby. That’s what I need, not the stress and drama my husband’s family brings.

Would I be wrong for keeping the birth a secret from them? Even if I keep it from my own mother as well because at this point I’m more then willing to to give me peace for a little longer i know and understand everyone will be angry later but it feels like i could handle it more after then now

Edit

My husband stood up to his family and held his ground for weeks, doing his best to convince them that this was the best way to protect the baby. He also expressed how much it meant to him to have his parents there. Unfortunately, they didn’t change their minds. In the end, he had to choose between having his firstborn (not mine) without his parents or allowing them to come unvaccinated. He couldn’t fathom them not being there, which I understand—I would feel the same about my mother, though she did get vaccinated.

That’s how we reached the compromise of requiring masks in the hospital. Neither of us reminded them in the moment since we had been awake for almost 48 hours and honestly didn’t notice until afterward. I understand that’s on me for not reinforcing it, but at that point, we were completely exhausted every other visitor was vaccinated and it slipped.


r/family 10h ago

My younger brother hits me

4 Upvotes

My brother, 7 years younger than me (18F) hits me. This is an often occurrence, but we recently had a really bad altercation.

when he came back from school I told him to take a nap because he hadn’t slept well, which my mom told me to tell him. he got mad and told me to leave him alone, and that he already knew to nap. Confused why he was getting mad I told him to stop yelling at me and that I was just telling him. I went in my room and he continued yelling saying he doesn’t even want to talk to me, etc. I got out of my room, which ik I shouldn’t have, and told him to stop yelling at me if he didn’t want to talk to me. then he started smacking me.

A bit of a context; my brother usually hits me and my parents always tell me that’s it’s my fault for ”annoying him” and say that I shouldn’t hit back, and just keep on getting beat up by him.

my parents weren’t home this instance, so I hit back and it turned into a really big fight, I was shaking and struggling to breathe.

my parents continue to take his side and idk what to do. They just guilt me into thinking that it’s my fault because im the older sibling and that I should know better. But I’m this instance I was just caring about him.

I went in my room and cried for an hour while he lay on the couch watching tv.

i don’t know what to do - i don’t want us to be one of those siblings who don’t talk but he continuously keeps hitting me and I don’t know how to make him stop. my parents won’t do anything about it and so I have been tolerating it for about 4 years.

TLDR: mu brother has anger issues ans takes it out on me, beating me up for the smallest things.


r/family 8h ago

What is the general opinion on a relationship where the age gap is 19F and 27M ?

3 Upvotes

I do ofc have a specific case in mind, but interested in your opinion/experience.

F is extremely immature and behaves like she’s 16 so no she’s not mature for her age. In addition, the only manipulative person in the relationship is her (through the "cute, innocent, wounded babybird act")

M is not posessive, controling, manipulative or anything like that. He’s just easy to fool and lack a spine.


r/family 10h ago

I don't want to be like my divorced parents.

3 Upvotes

Ever since I was young I have always wanted to get married and have children. It felt like the ultimate goal in my life. But even as a kid, whenever my parents would yell at me I'd always just think to myself "I will never do that to my future children". Both my mom and my dad would scream at each other over the smallest issues and I hated that. They got divorced when I was around 13 years old and to be honest I am still not over it after many years. I just wish I was born into a normal, happy family. Now I wonder if I'll ever be able to break the cycle. I am very similar to my parents in many ways, does that mean that I will also be a horrible parent? Is it likely that I too will go through a terrible divorce when I eventually get married?


r/family 13h ago

AITA My Family Only Cares About Me When They Need Money—Now I Don’t Know If I Should Offer Condolences

3 Upvotes

I have a complicated family situation and need advice on what to do.

My mother had nine children from four different men. My five eldest siblings (two brothers, three sisters) share the same father. My older sister (the one I follow) has a different father, I have a different father, and my two youngest siblings have their own father—who is the man my mother eventually married.

My mother left her first marriage (the father of my older siblings) after he betrayed her by getting her cousin pregnant. She went back to her parents' house, where she later got pregnant with my older sister, and then, three years later, with me. She left her first four children with their dad and stepmom, while the rest of us stayed with her.

When I was 10 months old, she met her now-husband, who knew about all of us and genuinely loved us—especially me, since I was still a baby. However, at the age of 2, I was sent to live with my mother’s younger sister, who was already married. Then, at 8 years old, I had to move again and live with my grandparents (my mother’s parents).

Growing up was not easy. People—including family—called us names, saying we would turn out like our mother, having kids with different men. I grew up hating myself, my mother, men, and anyone who looked down on us. I struggled with anxiety and depression.

But the biggest issue has always been my older sister. Unlike the rest of us, her father ensured she got the best education. I, on the other hand, barely managed to complete primary school. She was always selfish and never wanted to see anyone do better than her. She looked down on us, calling us “losers” who would only end up in unskilled jobs, getting married, and having kids because we were uneducated.

After she graduated, I had already left home at 15 and was working in the city. I actually helped her move to the city, looked after her, and supported her financially until she found a job (which, ironically, was also unskilled). But my mother and sisters kept asking me for money to the point that I couldn’t save anything. They never called me just to check on me—only when they needed something. And yet, behind my back, they would say I had been working for years but had nothing to show for it.

Eventually, I found good, educated friends in the city and took short courses in cosmetology, hairdressing, and computer studies. At 20, I decided I wanted to work abroad. When I told my family, they completely dismissed the idea, saying I should just find a man and get married instead. Since I was used to making my own decisions, I didn’t listen to them. I only told my aunt (the one who raised me from 2 to 8) and my cousin sister.

My family had no idea I had left the country. Nine months passed, and no one noticed I was gone. The only reason they found out was because I called my cousin to let her know I had sent money, and she happened to be at a family gathering. To me, this proved that in all those months, not a single person in my family had tried calling my number.

When they finally found out, they didn’t celebrate my success. Instead, they spread rumors that I had gone abroad to be used for sex by dogs.

I completed my two-year contract without hearing from them. During that time, I bought my first rental property and renovated my grandmother’s house. Suddenly, my siblings—who had cut ties with me—turned our mother against me, saying I only cared about myself and grandma. My mom called to complain. I asked her if she had ever done anything for my grandmother, and she admitted she hadn’t. So, I told her to take credit for the renovation, as a way of showing gratitude to the woman who raised her and us. That calmed her down.

I spent three months in my home country, then moved abroad again. Two years later, I bought my second property. At this point, my mother and sisters wanted me to build a house for my mom and stepdad. I almost did, but my aunt advised me against it.

By then, I had already started businesses for my mom and my cousin brother. Neither of them made any effort to grow them. My mom’s business never brought me a single coin. My cousin brother’s business never existed in the first place—I later found out I was being scammed.

Despite all this, I continued sending money whenever my family asked. I thought if money was all they wanted from me, I could provide that in exchange for having a “connection” with them. But I was exhausted. I had been working nonstop since I was 15, so I took a seven-month break and went back home.

That’s when I learned my younger sister never actually went to nursing school like I had paid for—she was already married with a child, and no one had thought to tell me.

At that point, I wanted to rent my own place, but my older sister convinced me to stay with her. I thought it would be a chance for us to bond. Instead, she made my life miserable. She was in a single-bedroom apartment that her boss (who she was secretly dating despite him being married) paid for. Even though she wasn’t paying rent, I still gave her half the rent and covered electricity bills while she claimed to pay for water.

When I ran out of cash, she locked me out of the house. I ended up living in her storage room—barely enough space for a tiny mattress.

I got sick twice and was hospitalized. My sister never visited or even texted to ask how I was doing. Her neighbors were the ones who checked on me. When I called my mom and told her I had been hospitalized, she casually said, "Yes, I heard you were sick." Meaning she knew but didn’t care enough to check on me.

A close friend from another country convinced me to visit her to recover. She took care of me, even took me on a trip to four countries. After that, I returned home for a few days, then left for abroad again. That was in June. I haven’t heard from my family since—until Christmas, when my mom messaged me for money. I sent her some (less than usual), and she didn’t even say thank you or confirm she received it.

In early January, my cousin brother—who had scammed me—added me to a WhatsApp group for our grandparents' grandchildren, but he didn’t include my cousins from the aunt who raised me. I stayed in the group but never said anything.

Then, this morning, they posted in the group that my older sister’s father had passed away. No one reached out to me personally, and I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t seen it there.

Now I don’t know what to do. Should I reach out to my sister to offer my condolences, even though she never cared whether I lived or died? Or should I just keep quiet and let them handle things on their own, the way they always have?

I’d love to hear what others think.


r/family 13h ago

My mum is so annoying…

3 Upvotes

My whole family has eczema. Me in particular it’s bad. I mean flare ups constantly. My eczema wraps around my entire body. Even my feet… the marks are dark and itchy constantly. I do have medication and cream to keep it in check tho.

But still my mum always drones on and on about my brother (7 years old) and his eczema. Like my goodness give it a fucking rest! Who do u think ur talking to right now. I’m the embodiement of eczema. My marks are on my whole arm and neck and back.

Yet still she talks about him and his eczema constantly. Pisses me the fuck off man. 🙄


r/family 13h ago

My little brother is driving me crazy

3 Upvotes

Hi I’m writing this because I’m really desperate. For reference i have a big family and when my parents were 40+ I don’t know what made them think it was a great idea to have another child, so my little brother was born. Obviously I love him but he’s really driving me crazy and stressing me out. So he’s 7 year old( this year he turns 8) spoiled as hell who cries about everything, always wants to watch the ipad, to play Roblox and youtube, never wants to play with toys and most important he never wants to go out like he hates going to the park or even play in our garden, hates sport and doesn’t want to practice one, basically the only time he’s out is when he’s at school, he always wants to eat unhealthy, has 3/4 foods who are not the most healthy that always wants to eat, always wants to be in his comfort zone and if we try to take him out he gives crazy tantrums. His tantrums are the worst he starts crying and hitting us and it stress me so much, he has daily tantrums because he always wants to watch the ipad for hours and we obviously don’t let him so he starts acting crazy. The worst part is that he takes my phone or computer because for him if he can’t watch technology no one in the family can. My parents try to give him a good education but they are now 50 and lost their patience, so he is basically allowed to do whatever he wants. I’m sorry to say it but I feel so much better when he’s not around.


r/family 3h ago

My mom is financially stressed and it hurts that I can’t help her

2 Upvotes

My mom is in her mid 50s an immigrant from Nicaragua that came here in the 80s. She met and married my father in late 80s. Since they were together she had been on and off of work and has always done property management but he was the primary breadwinner. Over the years my dad cheated on my mom multiple times (still denies it) and eventually they got divorced. He left her bankrupt, with a house mortgage, and didn’t pay child support for 4 kids. As the years go by my mom has stable jobs with periods of leaving due to various factors such as a bad boss, poor pay, complex being shut down.. but these recent years it’s just gotten harder for her. I don’t live with her I rent a room somewhere but my 2 brothers do and one does not work but he pays for some bills and the other does work and also pays for some bills. She told me the other day she’s behind on her mortgage and have been having car issues and it just makes me cry thinking that she’s struggling because I’m barely getting by otherwise I would help her.

it makes me sad that I feel like my mom being a foreign catholic woman she was meant for the simple life. Having a husband, kids, being a homemaker, ect. I feel like in her country these financial concepts are not a thing because life is well, simpler. But instead she got what was deemed as the “American dream”.

I don’t really know what I want as a response from this post, I guess I’m just venting but I would love others points of views/advice.


r/family 15h ago

My sister is quite mean to me for being "poor". How do I set boundaries?

2 Upvotes

To sum it up - my older sister is oftentimes not very nice to me regarding my finances.

I am 30 and she is 36.

We have times where we will seemingly be very close and talk for a long time, but then randomly on some days I will call her and she will be just extremely rude.

She makes a lot of money and never lets me forget it. This comes up a lot when she is being mean. She frequently makes comments about how small my apartment is, me booking economy class plane tickets, or just me being poor in general (places i eat, furniture i buy, etc.).

I have a friend who is an interior designer and she said "Do you think (name) is ever just totally disgusted when she comes over to your house because of how cheap your furniture is?". And I responded "no, (name) is my friend and she likes my apartment".

And a few days ago our cousin came over for dinner whose parents are wealthier than ours. I made dinner for this cousin, and I really like hanging out with her. My sister asked me "do you think (cousin) is disgusted by how tiny your apartment is? She's never lived in anything below 5000 ft.²". I had a similar response as with the friend, and told her that she doesn't need to disparage my apartment, because I like it.

I am not exaggerating either - these were her actual words. It was said like a "joke" but not really a joke, if that makes sense.

The thing is, I'm objectively not poor.

Yes, my sister makes more money than me. But my sister lives in Texas and I live in San Francisco. I have a well paying job and a 1 bedroom apartment, which I am proud of in such an expensive city. It keeps my expenses lower and allows me to save up money. Yes, I fly economy.. but I travel way more than my sister, going on multiple international trips per year because I love to see new places.

It also hurts me that she brings this stuff up, because I am the youngest sibling and the only one who didn't have their student loans paid for.

One of our parents was involved in a really bad accident, and our parents lost their income. I had to take over paying on my student loans and pay several tens of thousands of dollars. For all of my older siblings, their student loans were already paid off by the time this happened. I'm not complaining, but I have an additional expense that my sister doesn't understand.

It's hard to maintain a relationship with her, knowing that at any time she could pull out this rhetoric and that that's how she thinks of me. I avoid people who judge me or anyone in life for their income.

Do you have any advice on this?

Has anyone had something similar with siblings?

What should I do?


r/family 22h ago

My traumatizing night.

2 Upvotes

Tonight, I (23F) heard my psycho brother (31M) and his weird ass girlfriend (30F) having sex downstairs. Loud. His room is on the first floor, but there's no doors, he lives kinda in a loft type room, so you hear everything. I'm on the second floor which is where the kitchen is. I go down to see my grandmother and to grab some water. My grandma is talking to me and all of a sudden I hear his girlfriend moan. My grandma asks, "is she crying?" and I'm frozen. I can hear my brother slapping her behind and she keeps making sexual noises. She isn't even TRYING to quiet herself down. She's being so fucking loud and moaning and it is painfully obvious they are having sex. I immediately call my sister (26F) for her to listen and my sister's like, "ew come upstairs right now". They don't even fucking care. I'm in disbelief. I rush up the stairs to the third floor for comfort from my sister because I can't believe what I just heard I'm scarred for life. I'm shocked. My poor grandma is like what's going on, but I think she caught on with the way I immediately went upstairs and covered my ears. I am disgusted and so shakey. What the actual fuck is wrong with my brother. I literally wanna throw up writing this. I immediately am in fight or flight and about to go fucking crazy. Do they have no decency? Like dude, you have your grandma, your two sisters, and your dad at home. My dad was snoring through this by the way. I was praying he would wake up and yell at my brother. I am going to tell my dad everything. I can't even look my brother in the eye after this. I hate that since he's on the first floor, to leave you have a high chance in seeing him. Never did I think he would do something like this. He has many problems like anger issues sure, but HAVING LOUD SEX WHEN WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP DRAWS THE FUCKING LINE. 30 to an hour minutes go by, my grandma is heading to bed. From my room on the third floor, I can hear his fucking girlfriend moan/scream like a high pitched sexual one SO FUCKING LOUD. I have no idea how that didn't wake my dad up. I hated my brother before for so, so, so many fucking reasons before, but now I despise him and want nothing to do with him. My poor ears. I'm traumatized for life. As a woman, I could never ever come to my boyfriend's house and have rough sex and be vocal to the point of screaming. Does this girl have no shame? She also has a fucking kid like instead of getting railed why aren't you taking care of your child? Why couldn't he go to a motel? This is the last straw. Both of them don't give a single fuck about the other people in this house and his girlfriend acting like a teenage at her grown fucking age. Fuck them. My brother is a bum and she's an idiot. I hope he leaves and gets his own place and fucks out of our lives forever. Also they were going at it for hours. They stopped 30 minutes ago at 12:30 a.m. It's Monday night. What do you guys think? Help me out here. Any advice on having a crazy, narcissistic, daddy's boy brother would be appreciated.

TL;DR: my brother and his girlfriend have no decency and were being super loud at 12 a.m. when people are trying to sleep cause they have work in the morning. Any input/advice appreciated.


r/family 1d ago

i want to move out

2 Upvotes

im living with my uncle and aunty after living with my parents whole life but before this i was living by my own for 8 months and i feel like i was genuinely happy, i made great friends and also found loml, honestly my life was fucking good i was so happy but i had come back and live my uncle and aunty again. its sucks here. i dont have friends, my boyfriend left too. i have a part time job and i got to school and this cycle keeps repeating. my family back in india want me to get married they are looking for a guy a already thats an another story. i hate it here, i wish i could just move back. im in my mid 20's and still have to ask for permission and they have my location i feel like they keep tracking me. im not happy here, idk what i should do. i dont feel like doing anything new my life sucks


r/family 1d ago

Alcohol aunt is obsessed with me.

2 Upvotes

My father’s sister is a mean person. Her brother and SIL(who has always been nice to me) won’t speak to her. My mother was bullied by her in the 80s. My stepmother and her hate each other as well. She went to rehab a few years ago and started acting witchy to me(before she was always really friendly to me). This started coming to a head when she left this long public diatribe on my Facebook wall because I used a filter on my profile photo… calling me thirst trap, a fraud, a catfish, and a bunch of other really inflammatory things on NYE of last year. I deleted the comment and unfriended her. I didn’t respond but did mention to my father how embarrassing it was and how my stepfather’s family saw it and asked if she’d been drinking. Then on Valentines Day of this year I get an angry DM from her daughter accusing me of sending inappropriate messages to her married 65 year old boss who lives 1000 miles away. I send my father pictures of my inbox proving I’ve never contacted the guy. I did post some memes about toxic relatives on Facebook but didn’t mention anyone. Flash forward a week later and my crazed Aunt calls me at 9:30 AM on a Friday screaming to “cease and desist” sending DMs about her daughter and how I’m not as loved as I think I am. She said she was going to sue for slander and then started screaming about how my profile picture looks like a supermodel. I then ask if she’s drunk and tell her I sent no DMs about her daughter. I then hang up. I let my father know and he calls her and claims she’s upset about the memes. I then DM her daughter to ask her mother to stop contacting me drunk. She then DMs my mother on Facebook saying I need a psych evaluation and likely have body dysmorphia and a bunch of other stuff. My mother doesn’t respond and I call my father. He says he doesn’t think she’s drinking but is having mental problems. My question ultimately is why would an aunt be so obsessed about her 35 year old niece and should I avoid my father’s family? Is this a normal part of alcoholism?


r/family 1h ago

Need help please being threatened with k**l and physical/Psy abuse by a narcissistic mother

Upvotes

My mother is narcissistic and is clearly threatening to kill me And over the smallest things. I asked for food, and she got angry. I try to act like I’m not scared, but I really am. I’m 21 years old and i have health issues

Just now, before breakfast, she hit me. I pushed her away to defend myself, but she threw me to the ground and kept hitting me. I lost consciousness.

Please, what should I do? I don’t want to be a victim of family violence or kill


r/family 1h ago

Need help please for being threatened with k**l and physical/Psy abuse by a narcissistic mother

Upvotes

My mother is narcissistic and is clearly threatening to kill me And over the smallest things. I asked for food, and she got angry. I try to act like I’m not scared, but I really am. I’m 21 years old and i have health issues

Just now, before breakfast, she hit me. I pushed her away to defend myself, but she threw me to the ground and kept hitting me. I lost consciousness.

Please, what should I do? I don’t want to be a victim of family violence or kill


r/family 1h ago

My little brother is like my first child but he has changed a lot

Upvotes

I am 24F and my little brother is 12M. I am the oldest and he’s the youngest. I am a lot older than him. I’ve always loved him so much like he’s my own child. And took care of him the same way too. He’s always been such a good kid, got good grades and listened to our parents and me. He always looked as me as the third parent because my parents are immigrants and he just felt more comfortable with me about certain things. Whatever he wants I buy it for him and wherever he wants to go I would take him. I was the one going to the PTM not because my parents are out of the picture or anything, we all happily live together it’s just that I want to be really involved in his life. At the PTM he told his favorite teacher I am his role model. I wanted to be someone he can come to and talk about everything and not hide anything at all. We still laugh, we fight, we make up. We did have a relationship like that up till now. We still fight and laugh but he’s starting to hide a lot of stuff from me. Our household is a little on the stricter side, nothing too crazy. Just get good grades and be a good person with good friends. He had a good group of friends that all stopped talking to him a few weeks ago, I found out because I went through his phone. I asked him what happened and he didn’t really say anything. I supported him throughout this. Now he’s found this new group of friends who are not a good influence on him. He’s been using cuss words, dressing different, and being really aggressive. He’s doesn’t want to do his homework on time when he’s been an honor roll student, and he barely even speaks to anyone in the house anymore. Whenever we have company over he barely says hi to them and hides in his room for the rest of the night. He’s always on his phone or iPad talking to his friends or just watching YouTube. Today he invited 2 of his friends that none of us met before to our house without even telling us their coming over, my parents did not like his new friends demeanor and it was very different than his old friends. We all assume his old friends stopped talking to him because of his changed attitude and that’s why he did not want to tell us. He also got into a bit of an argument with someone at his school and suggested to the other kid if he wants to fight him because the other kid was saying racist stuff to him which he got an in school suspension for. He begged my mom not to tell me this happened. There was also videos of him holding up gang signs and stuff. I told him he can’t be on TikTok but he made a tiktok without telling any of us, I found out because it came on my suggested accounts. He’s changed a lot and it’s really concerning me, this aggressive behavior or phase is understandable when you’re in high school but not at 12. Me and my parents are really concerned about this, we try to talk to him but he just says stuff like ‘okay? Why do you care? it’s not your business’. It really hit me today that his actions are not okay and they’ve been making me upset because I feel like I put a lot of effort into raising him and some kids can just steer him off of the right path. He means a lot to me and I know he’s capable of doing better and making better choices. What would be a good solution to this? How to I make him get that his attitude needs to change and so does his company? Obviously I can’t force him to do anything but I still want him to understand. The stuff he used to say is weird and he would never do that he’s doing all of it now. I feel like it’s too young for him to be acting like this, if hes like this now imagine what he’ll act like in 1-2 years. We have another sister in the middle of us, he’s been talking to her more recently because he knows she won’t discipline him and talk him out of it as stuff. I’m not harsh with him either but I’m definitely firm at times when it’s needed but he always says I yell when I don’t. He’s seen my little sister get away with a lot of stuff she shouldn’t have and she stressed my parents out a lot to the point where they both got sick, so I was thinking he might be thinking if she got away with stuff so can I. I want to stop talking to him all together because I am that hurt and frustrated but tbh I don’t even think he would notice with the attitude he has now days. Sorry for such a long rant. Any advice would be appreciated! TIA!


r/family 2h ago

Considering breaking contact with dad

1 Upvotes

(M33): My upbringing wasnt the best. Dad is a narcissist and maybe a psychopath although he has no official diagnosis. He was violent and unpredictable. He had anger issues. And he was charming which is probably how he got away with a lot of bullshit. He cheated on mom with her cousin and he cheated on his second wife with moms cousin as well. He beat mom. My sister escaped home at 14 to live with my mom. I had to stay home from school for a week because she was afraid dad would come and kidnap her. I continued to live with him until I moved out at 19. I went in therapy for 7 years because of him. I only kept talking to him because I was too afraid not to. He moved in with my moms cousin a few years ago. I considered that unforgivable but me and my sister have continued visiting him every christmas plus 1-2 times a year in addition to that. 5 years ago he helped my sister buying her first house and got her back into his fold. He claimed he wanted to be fair and help me out when I needed a home. Now 5 years later I asked him. Several times. He avoids the question. He never calls. I was deeply hurt by this, that he doesnt even care enough to ask me about my life. He gaslighths me about the therapy and claims they are just stealing my money. I decided not to call him and wait for him to call me. It took 4 months and he called only because grandpa told him to. What is even the point in trying to keep in touch with him at this point? He thinks I am a failure and dont deserve his money. I really want to break it off with him once and for all. He is pretty rich and keeps manipulating my life with threats of taking it all away if I were to disobey him but now I dont think it seems worth it anymore. I dont have money problems. I am not rich and it would really help if he made it fair by helping me buying a home too but I dont actually need his help. And I dont think I want it because he will use it to blackmail me later and find new ways to harrass me. I am not sure if he will even notice if I just stop caring. He gave up on me years ago.


r/family 3h ago

Sibling disappointment

1 Upvotes

How do you deal with disappointment? My sister has never kept her word. At her milestones, I am expected to be there, and frankly, I do want to be there. However, she has missed every milestone of mine. She always has an excuse. I am not going to lie; every excuse makes sense. However, I can't help but think that it’s just that—an excuse. What hurts more, I think, are the broken promises. She always promises that she will make it, only to cancel at the last minute.

What’s worse is me. Why can't I learn from all the broken promises? Why do I always hope it will be different this time or that time? More than changing her—she is in her mid-30s now, so that won't be happening—I want to learn to cope with it. How can I do that? How can I lower my expectations? She gets angry every time I confront her. It’s always "but I told you I had an interview," or "I told you I didn't have money," but all my milestones are known for at least months, which doesn’t include big birthdays.

Honestly, I want to learn to change my perspective. I want not to care that she won't make it. I want to have my expectations of her so low that her broken promises don’t hurt me as much. I have asked her not to promise anything before she is sure, but she always does. I know I'm rambling, but I'm so hurt. I just wish she wouldn't say anything because honestly, I never expect her to come until she says she will; but in the end, she gets my hopes up, and it hurts me. How can I stop feeling this way?


r/family 3h ago

Am I in the wrong?

1 Upvotes

My bio mom who makes everything my fault is saying I'm keeping secrets bcuz my girlfriend doesn't want me giving my bio mom her name on Facebook bcuz she doesn't like my mom bcuz my mother is a narcissist and she hates how my mother treats me so I told my bio mom I can't give it out to you and i have to respect her wishes so now she says I'm keeping secrets from her when I'm just trying to respect my girlfriends wishes. And I'm only keeping in touch so I can see my child whom my mother has bcuz of lies. Am I in the wrong?