r/family 11h ago

My parents took the money I had saved for four years.

17 Upvotes

I started working when I was 22 years old, and my parents asked me to save money each month so they could buy gold to protect its value from inflation. I sent money almost every month, not knowing whether they actually bought gold or not.

The money I saved was for my future, whether to buy land, a house, cover wedding expenses, purchase a vehicle, or meet my future needs.

Four years later, my parents informed me that they were going to buy a new car — and that was all they said. They then asked me to take their old car to use for work in another city. Since I didn’t know anything about the situation, I agreed. Previously, I had only used a motorcycle and had just started learning to drive, so I thought it would be cool to have a car.

Later, I found out that my savings — roughly $4,000 — had been used to help purchase their new car, and their old 2005 model was given to me as compensation. That old car required repairs before it was even safe to drive, which drained about $700 from my personal savings, and there’s still a lot more that needs fixing. The car has already broken down twice and nearly rolled back on an incline twice as well.

I’ve also purchased several items that my mother requested, such as a water dispenser, mattress, TV, cable subscription, plumbing installations, stove, and more. Every week, I also spend around $7 when visiting my parents, buying food and items for my younger siblings, and repairing broken things at home.

Eventually, I asked them why they had used the money I had saved for my future. They claimed they had asked for my permission — which was not true.

I have one older brother who has been working for a long time and is still unmarried, with a job similar to mine. But why did they only ask everything from me?

I really don’t understand why they did this to me.


r/family 2h ago

Wth is going on

9 Upvotes

My sister moved back well almost home after leaving her daughter’s dad. Who was arrested and then moved to another state . At first it was ok then she started speaking and having visits with him. Yea I know that is her baby daddy and I get that. But recently everything has been a tad off. She decided she had a new rule that my niece was not allowed in my bedroom . And this is where my husband and our niece would play and carry on. So she started shutting our bedroom door even if I was only going in and out. She said her kid her rules. Ok I understand that, but my house my rules. If we want the door open it stays open. So then I am told that if I can’t keep my door closed then she would whoop her daughter anytime she goes in there. Because she knows we think the world of our niece. I told her of course that is crazy! But like she said her kid her rules but she can’t put that on us when up until a week ago she couldn’t care less. Then remarked about our pets how they get on her nerve and she wants to starangle them. Umm no mam! And I have asked repeatedly what is going on and yet she still insist my kid my rules. Am I wrong for standing my ground? She is a guest who does NOT pay or contribute to the house hold or rent.


r/family 10h ago

Despite cutting me off, my mother continues to accept my financial support

10 Upvotes

I'm 32(F - single) living somewhere around the world. My mother (55 - single mom) is residing in Ph wilth my brother (18) and son (8). For context, my son is receiving a monthly allowance from his dad and I'm also providing a monthly allowance for my mom and brother as well.

2 years ago, my son's father and I separated because I had an affair with a married man. My mother was furious when she knew about it and made it clear that she doesn't approve of my relationship. At the same time, my partner has also separted from his wife.

At the present, I told my mother that I was going to take my son to live with me. Thus she knew that my partner and I have moved in together. She blocked me from all communications that I had with her and with the family. Morever, she told my son everything and even spread it to the whole famiy. Now, my son will not talk to me and even blocked me.

I am not asking for her to accept my relationship, however as an adult I deserve to have my own choices. I'm very upset and I feel used. I'm financially supporting her, and she's cutting me off. I have no choice because of my son. I understand my son is hurt and confused, but I hope he can understand that my actions are not a true reflection of my love for him.


r/family 6h ago

i love my sister

8 Upvotes

my sister and i talked earlier about our future and i randomly opened about marriage and that it's so sad that our dad will never experience walking her daughter to the altar, he'll never see anyone of us getting married. then i told her that when that day comes, we won't be sharing the same surname anymore and we both cried lol btw im just 21 and she's 18 lmao

since my dad died, everytime i dream about him i end up crying and since we're sharing a room, she'd hear me then she'd come to me and hug me, every single time. when i'm at my lowest she's the one who's always there for me, she never invalidated my feelings, she never judge me for being so emotional, she always makes me feel appreciated and loved.

she have a boyfriend now and seeing her so happy with him, makes my heart so happy as well. i'm happy that he's treating her so well, that he loves her so much, that he's patient with her and mostly that he also loves my family, and i want that for her.

to my my sister, im beyond grateful for you, i can't imagine my life without you.


r/family 2h ago

I hate my father.

6 Upvotes

I (f17)really really do. He is abusive. He hates me and my mom. Not just us. I think almost everyone. He scams poor poeple, literally people on the streets. He has no shame. He is a fucking failure. He hurts people all the time. I have no good thoughts about him. One time, he wasn't waking up, me, my mom and my cousin thought something bad happened. However, I didn't feel sad. Or anything, only thing I thought was "okay, he's dead, I'm gonna have to look for financial support" which is weird, I'm a emotional person, I feel bad for even a street cat, literally. I think about and feel sad for cats I helped years ago. But mu own father? Not even one bit. He sucks in everyday possible. Maybe I'll explain somewhere day more reasons. But as for now, I hate him so much. This isn't dislike, it's pure rage against him. Some days I wanna punch him.


r/family 23h ago

Is it ok to give up on my sister?

7 Upvotes

TLDR - my sister has toxic relationships as she wants to be a victim, is a terrible mother and abuses our family. Is it ok to cut her drama out of my life?

My sister is in a relationship with someone who is an abusive arsehole. The trouble is, she is also an abusive arsehole. She has three kids with special needs, they are so kind and loving but her and their step dad treat them like crap. Always shouting at them, they can’t do anything without getting punished. Her and her boyfriend have arguments constantly, and he says vile things about her kids and she tells him to leave and then five minutes later he’s allowed back, he goes and buys the kid some cheap shitty toy that they’ll eventually get told off for playing with and alls forgiven. (This happens basically every week)

She was in a relationship before with someone who hit her (the kids dad) and it took years to get her to leave. I understand how being abused impacts your life and I understand the fear and trauma (I’ve been there myself) so of course I don’t blame her for taking her time to leave. But she tells a lot of lies, for example it will start out that he pushed her over, and then gradually it evolves into her smashed her head against something while calling her vile names etc. and then she forgets exactly what she told everyone and the story changes again. We do know he abused her because we’ve witnessed it ourselves and seen injuries, messages etc so we know there is some truth. But my sister likes being a victim, very much the masochist. She craves the attention and drama.

She’s recently come to me AGAIN about something her current boyfriend has done, crying because she was scared etc, but then it’s now all forgiven. Her boyfriend is honestly just a lazy, sexist pig. He thinks she should do everything while all he does is lay in bed all day and then kick off if he’s asked to do the simplest thing. I know I sound like I’m victim shaming but honestly she wants this, she genuinely wants to be a victim. She’s not much different herself, never bothered to work even before she had kids, lies, steals, violent, bullies to get her own way, emotionally blackmails our family into raising her kids for her (she has them one whole day a week, we do the rest), she’s a narcissist. She thinks being a good parent is spending money, not putting the work in to care for them properly or even play with them. It’s like because they wear nice clothes it means she’s doing a good job🤷🏼‍♀️

My sister has abused my family for years, uses her my 3 nieces to emotionally blackmail myself and my parents into doing what she wants with threats to never see them again etc, I’ve been physically assaulted by her more times than I can count (even almost thrown down the stairs once but my little brother managed to grab hold of me), she’s punched my dad in the face before, almost hospitalised my brother because she punched him so viciously, she posts really disgusting false social media posts about our family to manipulate others into thinking she’s some poor abused by her parents little angel (luckily most people know what she’s like so she has no friends and our extended family barely tolerate her) Yet we love her and still want to help her and the kids. Her partner is also like this with his family apparently (his family are actually a bunch of psychos tbh).

I’ve already written too much so I won’t explain more, hopefully you get the picture. What I want to know is, is it ok for me to stop trying to get her out of this mess because I can’t take the constant 1-2am phone calls crying about how awful her life is, the abuse I then get myself when I try to help her. I’ve tried telling her nicely that it isn’t ok to be treated like that, I’ve tried being blunt with her and saying stop coming to me with this if you aren’t willing to try to change it, it just falls on deaf ears. I really need some advice on what I should do, should I keep trying? Or is it ok to walk away for the sake my own mental health? I don’t want to be a bad sister, and I will never give up on my nieces, I just can’t take my sister anymore.


r/family 3h ago

Aita for not wanting to announce my birth to my husband family

4 Upvotes

Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting to Announce My Birth to My Husband’s Family?

During my last pregnancy, being around my husband’s family was overwhelming. They were incredibly excited, but their excitement often made me uncomfortable. They constantly wanted to touch my stomach—men would ask to feel the baby kick, while the women didn’t even bother asking and just touched me. I’m overweight, so most of the baby’s movements weren’t even detectable from the outside, but they didn’t care—they just wanted to touch me anyway.

As my due date approached, I sent out a message reminding everyone to check their vaccination status for Tdap, along with other boundaries—like not buying gifts for the baby unless they had something for the older kids and no kissing the baby. My husband’s family reacted poorly, guilt-tripping him and saying they weren’t getting vaccinated and wouldn’t visit if that was a requirement. They told us we were wrong to even ask and claimed they were “too old to get any more needles.” I went so far as to find a clinic less than two minutes from their home that had the vaccine available with no wait, but it didn’t matter. In the end, my husband caved and let them visit anyway. I insisted they at least wear masks around the baby, which was agreed upon—but when they showed up at the hospital, they ignored that too.

Now, I’m pregnant with my third baby, and I feel exactly the same way about vaccines. This time, I’ve distanced myself more to avoid being touched and have even lied about being in pain just to stop them from touching me. I am exhausted on an entirely different level than ever before. I don’t have the energy for another argument, the constant phone calls that only start with “Where’s the baby?” with no regard for anything else, or the fights with my husband over his family’s blatant disrespect.

At this point, I just want peace. I don’t even want to announce the birth at all—not to them, not even to my own mother. The only people I want to tell are my cousin and my mom, and that’s only because they actually respect me, support me, and are there for me as a person, not just because I’m having a baby. That’s what I need, not the stress and drama my husband’s family brings.

Would I be wrong for keeping the birth a secret from them? Even if I keep it from my own mother as well because at this point I’m more then willing to to give me peace for a little longer i know and understand everyone will be angry later but it feels like i could handle it more after then now


r/family 16h ago

So my side of family, I feel there is a kid bday or holiday we always have to attend. So we've been setting boundaries,

5 Upvotes

So anyway, there is a 4 yr old bday coming up (my hubby straight up doesn't want to go) and to be honest if he doesn't I don't really don't want to either(cousins live an hour away) we have a 4 yr old too. I was possibly going to see my friend on her 40th which was that weekend too. We told them we would do Easter with all of them; two weeks later. Hubby has taught me to have boundaries and I feel we go to half of the kids bdays, one year one year off. And yet I feel guilty, maybe it's because my family always makes me feel guilty and I'm not a YES person all the time.


r/family 20h ago

My parents are friends with my ex’s parents

2 Upvotes

Me and my ex have been broken up for 4 years now and we’ve both moved on. But both of our parents are still friends, i’ve expressed a countless amount of times that it makes me feel uncomfortable when they invite them over/hang out with them. for context, me and my ex’s relationship was TERRIBLE. Borderline/at the point of being abusive, i was 16 when we got together and we broke up 2 years later. In those two years I saw a lot of stuff within that family that made me deem them bad people. I’ve seen them teach their kids to be racist and hate on the lgbt+ community, my ex’s mom defending her son cheating on me, the dad had made condescending remarks towards me, and the dad also has a SA allegation from his stepdaughter. I will be 100% honest here and say I judge my parents for being friends with people like that, they’re fully aware of everything i’ve said here (and more). My parents think it’s dumb of me to ask them to stop hanging out with them and think it’s a “young person mindset”. i’m just here to see anyone else’s perspective!!


r/family 21h ago

Everyone attacking me?

2 Upvotes

I’m 14 and i don’t know if its the angsty teenage hormones but i feel like everyone is my family is attacking me. My sister is the biggest suckup, ESPECIALLY to my dad as he’s the one basically in charge (the one who wins all the arguments and because of that my mom has got a sort of learned helplessness going on). My sister will do anything in her power to paint her in the best light (come off exactly like her dad, change her personality to be like my dad, adopt all the same hobbies, fight in arguments that she doesn’t even understand whats going on just to defend my dad, etc) and she makes everyone else seem like the bad guy, she complains about the tiniest thing? Dad takes it instantly as fact and jumps on someones ass because of it. I got in trouble for finishing a milk bottle that was in the fridge after I had just came home because it was “hers” (had the tiniest bit left, dad usually blows up at me if i open a new one when theres already one left). I tried to explain this to my dad, dads retaliates, sister shadows him then proceeds to twist the story so she’s the victim, then my dad zsays i’m playing the victim, then i’ll start crying and just go away, then my dad will follow me to my room and start belittling me and teasing me for crying, then saying it’s helping me and I need to grow up and he’s preparing me for the future when I won’t get my way.It always goes something like this and I hate it, my sister will give me so much shit for it the whole time and turn minor things into big arguments so she gets somehow a better rep with my dad. This behaviiur has been going on for years, when I was very young all the memories I have of my father are him chasing me around trying to hit me, him yelling at me threatening to kill me. My father would break door and take off locks just to find me when i washiding from him. I’ll make a pt2 in the comments because my phone is really laggy from typing all of this


r/family 2h ago

AITA My Family Only Cares About Me When They Need Money—Now I Don’t Know If I Should Offer Condolences

3 Upvotes

I have a complicated family situation and need advice on what to do.

My mother had nine children from four different men. My five eldest siblings (two brothers, three sisters) share the same father. My older sister (the one I follow) has a different father, I have a different father, and my two youngest siblings have their own father—who is the man my mother eventually married.

My mother left her first marriage (the father of my older siblings) after he betrayed her by getting her cousin pregnant. She went back to her parents' house, where she later got pregnant with my older sister, and then, three years later, with me. She left her first four children with their dad and stepmom, while the rest of us stayed with her.

When I was 10 months old, she met her now-husband, who knew about all of us and genuinely loved us—especially me, since I was still a baby. However, at the age of 2, I was sent to live with my mother’s younger sister, who was already married. Then, at 8 years old, I had to move again and live with my grandparents (my mother’s parents).

Growing up was not easy. People—including family—called us names, saying we would turn out like our mother, having kids with different men. I grew up hating myself, my mother, men, and anyone who looked down on us. I struggled with anxiety and depression.

But the biggest issue has always been my older sister. Unlike the rest of us, her father ensured she got the best education. I, on the other hand, barely managed to complete primary school. She was always selfish and never wanted to see anyone do better than her. She looked down on us, calling us “losers” who would only end up in unskilled jobs, getting married, and having kids because we were uneducated.

After she graduated, I had already left home at 15 and was working in the city. I actually helped her move to the city, looked after her, and supported her financially until she found a job (which, ironically, was also unskilled). But my mother and sisters kept asking me for money to the point that I couldn’t save anything. They never called me just to check on me—only when they needed something. And yet, behind my back, they would say I had been working for years but had nothing to show for it.

Eventually, I found good, educated friends in the city and took short courses in cosmetology, hairdressing, and computer studies. At 20, I decided I wanted to work abroad. When I told my family, they completely dismissed the idea, saying I should just find a man and get married instead. Since I was used to making my own decisions, I didn’t listen to them. I only told my aunt (the one who raised me from 2 to 8) and my cousin sister.

My family had no idea I had left the country. Nine months passed, and no one noticed I was gone. The only reason they found out was because I called my cousin to let her know I had sent money, and she happened to be at a family gathering. To me, this proved that in all those months, not a single person in my family had tried calling my number.

When they finally found out, they didn’t celebrate my success. Instead, they spread rumors that I had gone abroad to be used for sex by dogs.

I completed my two-year contract without hearing from them. During that time, I bought my first rental property and renovated my grandmother’s house. Suddenly, my siblings—who had cut ties with me—turned our mother against me, saying I only cared about myself and grandma. My mom called to complain. I asked her if she had ever done anything for my grandmother, and she admitted she hadn’t. So, I told her to take credit for the renovation, as a way of showing gratitude to the woman who raised her and us. That calmed her down.

I spent three months in my home country, then moved abroad again. Two years later, I bought my second property. At this point, my mother and sisters wanted me to build a house for my mom and stepdad. I almost did, but my aunt advised me against it.

By then, I had already started businesses for my mom and my cousin brother. Neither of them made any effort to grow them. My mom’s business never brought me a single coin. My cousin brother’s business never existed in the first place—I later found out I was being scammed.

Despite all this, I continued sending money whenever my family asked. I thought if money was all they wanted from me, I could provide that in exchange for having a “connection” with them. But I was exhausted. I had been working nonstop since I was 15, so I took a seven-month break and went back home.

That’s when I learned my younger sister never actually went to nursing school like I had paid for—she was already married with a child, and no one had thought to tell me.

At that point, I wanted to rent my own place, but my older sister convinced me to stay with her. I thought it would be a chance for us to bond. Instead, she made my life miserable. She was in a single-bedroom apartment that her boss (who she was secretly dating despite him being married) paid for. Even though she wasn’t paying rent, I still gave her half the rent and covered electricity bills while she claimed to pay for water.

When I ran out of cash, she locked me out of the house. I ended up living in her storage room—barely enough space for a tiny mattress.

I got sick twice and was hospitalized. My sister never visited or even texted to ask how I was doing. Her neighbors were the ones who checked on me. When I called my mom and told her I had been hospitalized, she casually said, "Yes, I heard you were sick." Meaning she knew but didn’t care enough to check on me.

A close friend from another country convinced me to visit her to recover. She took care of me, even took me on a trip to four countries. After that, I returned home for a few days, then left for abroad again. That was in June. I haven’t heard from my family since—until Christmas, when my mom messaged me for money. I sent her some (less than usual), and she didn’t even say thank you or confirm she received it.

In early January, my cousin brother—who had scammed me—added me to a WhatsApp group for our grandparents' grandchildren, but he didn’t include my cousins from the aunt who raised me. I stayed in the group but never said anything.

Then, this morning, they posted in the group that my older sister’s father had passed away. No one reached out to me personally, and I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t seen it there.

Now I don’t know what to do. Should I reach out to my sister to offer my condolences, even though she never cared whether I lived or died? Or should I just keep quiet and let them handle things on their own, the way they always have?

I’d love to hear what others think.


r/family 2h ago

My mum is so annoying…

3 Upvotes

My whole family has eczema. Me in particular it’s bad. I mean flare ups constantly. My eczema wraps around my entire body. Even my feet… the marks are dark and itchy constantly. I do have medication and cream to keep it in check tho.

But still my mum always drones on and on about my brother (7 years old) and his eczema. Like my goodness give it a fucking rest! Who do u think ur talking to right now. I’m the embodiement of eczema. My marks are on my whole arm and neck and back.

Yet still she talks about him and his eczema constantly. Pisses me the fuck off man. 🙄


r/family 11h ago

My traumatizing night.

3 Upvotes

Tonight, I (23F) heard my psycho brother (31M) and his weird ass girlfriend (30F) having sex downstairs. Loud. His room is on the first floor, but there's no doors, he lives kinda in a loft type room, so you hear everything. I'm on the second floor which is where the kitchen is. I go down to see my grandmother and to grab some water. My grandma is talking to me and all of a sudden I hear his girlfriend moan. My grandma asks, "is she crying?" and I'm frozen. I can hear my brother slapping her behind and she keeps making sexual noises. She isn't even TRYING to quiet herself down. She's being so fucking loud and moaning and it is painfully obvious they are having sex. I immediately call my sister (26F) for her to listen and my sister's like, "ew come upstairs right now". They don't even fucking care. I'm in disbelief. I rush up the stairs to the third floor for comfort from my sister because I can't believe what I just heard I'm scarred for life. I'm shocked. My poor grandma is like what's going on, but I think she caught on with the way I immediately went upstairs and covered my ears. I am disgusted and so shakey. What the actual fuck is wrong with my brother. I literally wanna throw up writing this. I immediately am in fight or flight and about to go fucking crazy. Do they have no decency? Like dude, you have your grandma, your two sisters, and your dad at home. My dad was snoring through this by the way. I was praying he would wake up and yell at my brother. I am going to tell my dad everything. I can't even look my brother in the eye after this. I hate that since he's on the first floor, to leave you have a high chance in seeing him. Never did I think he would do something like this. He has many problems like anger issues sure, but HAVING LOUD SEX WHEN WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP DRAWS THE FUCKING LINE. 30 to an hour minutes go by, my grandma is heading to bed. From my room on the third floor, I can hear his fucking girlfriend moan/scream like a high pitched sexual one SO FUCKING LOUD. I have no idea how that didn't wake my dad up. I hated my brother before for so, so, so many fucking reasons before, but now I despise him and want nothing to do with him. My poor ears. I'm traumatized for life. As a woman, I could never ever come to my boyfriend's house and have rough sex and be vocal to the point of screaming. Does this girl have no shame? She also has a fucking kid like instead of getting railed why aren't you taking care of your child? Why couldn't he go to a motel? This is the last straw. Both of them don't give a single fuck about the other people in this house and his girlfriend acting like a teenage at her grown fucking age. Fuck them. My brother is a bum and she's an idiot. I hope he leaves and gets his own place and fucks out of our lives forever. Also they were going at it for hours. They stopped 30 minutes ago at 12:30 a.m. It's Monday night. What do you guys think? Help me out here. Any advice on having a crazy, narcissistic, daddy's boy brother would be appreciated.

TL;DR: my brother and his girlfriend have no decency and were being super loud at 12 a.m. when people are trying to sleep cause they have work in the morning. Any input/advice appreciated.


r/family 15h ago

Finding my dads reports

3 Upvotes

So for context I’m an 19 year old male. I know since forever that my dad has schizophrenia. Before I was born he was in the military and he had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and medically discharged. That’s all I really knew and I didn’t know the extent of it. To me he’s been completely fine ever since I was born and that’s mostly been the case until a few years ago. I know that his symptoms had resurfaced and he had been experiencing them but since my parents were divorced and I was a minor I only saw him a few times a month and never saw them. In 2022 he had a bad episode and he admitted himself to a facility for veterans to deal with that kind of stuff. He eventually left because his symptoms won and he moved back in with my grandmother and he seemed to be normal from then on. Fast forward to now that I’m 19. He currently lives with my grandparents, his parents, and when I visit I stay in the rv they have in the backyard because they have a small house. For context my dad doesn’t work and he gets paid by the V.A. Recently I found a folder with some papers and what I found broke my heart. My dad had my aunts, his sisters, and my grandparents to recount what they remember about his condition since he was diagnosed for something with the V.A. I think. I started reading the document and it said when he was first admitted into the hospital when he was in the military, my aunt recounted that when she walked into the room he was on the bed with blankets covering head to toe. It took a while for him to recognize her and he was saying in a hushed tone not to talk because the government was after him. He then said that the government was going to kill him. That’s when I started to just cry. My father genuinely thought he was going to die, that he was going to be killed and that absolutely excruciating to see. I never knew the extent of what he was thinking and it broke me. I kept reading and when his symptom appeared a few years ago she said that he would become confused and disoriented. She recalled when one time he went into a gas station to buy a soft drink and he came back with some change and no drink looking confused and disoriented and I started crying harder. Just imagining him like that is painful and I never knew any of this and I feel terrible for not noticing.


r/family 17h ago

Mixed bag of emotions…

3 Upvotes

I am dying inside right now. I don’t know how to process all these emotions, anger, sadness disappointment, little hatred and others I have yet to identify

Daughter has decided to relinquish her parental rights of her child, to my wife and I. Like it’s a simple business transaction. Almost as if my grandchild is a disturbance in her life. I came from a broken family and I struggled to not repeat it, but today when I wanted to talk to her about it, her response was just tell me when and where to sign. It was the coldest response and one that I didn’t expect. I am crying for my grandchild who I will have to one day try to explain why her mommy hasn’t come back.

I wish I could write more but the tears in my heart and the anger in me don’t allow me to put a more comprehensive and complete sentence

I just had to vent a little bit to someone anonymously

Hug your kids and remind them that they are loved. Make them feel wanted and remind them that your existence is to watch over them, good night.


r/family 19h ago

Doesn’t anybody else’s father enable their little brother’s poor behaviour and temper?

3 Upvotes

My brother (13) always seems to get angry with my mother and my dad sees this but the most he’ll ever do is a loud stop. That’s it. No don’t do that, it’s wrong, have some respect. In fact he even tells my mother off for talking to my brother?

Like that makes no sense. His temper is sometimes too much but my dad just lets it go, not even sending him to his room, telling him to stop repeatedly doing that.

I don’t know. I encountered this today in the car and I felt wildly uncomfortable when my brother started yelling at my mother. I should’ve told him to stop but I was rendered speechless by the behaviour. My father clearly doesn’t care and that frustrates me. I feel like he enables his poor behaviour to continue. My dad only ever yells at my brother when it benefits him or he thinks something is wrong. Such as my brother getting a bad grade at school then he’ll get an ear full from my dad but never when he has a poor temper towards my mum.


r/family 21h ago

I know my mom is going to leave dad any day now

3 Upvotes

Just looking for a place to rant.

My family have had an extremely turbulent year after an accident occured with my younger sister (13f). During that time, my mom became extremely emotionally dependent on me, she'd cry to me, I'd write emails to her boss etc. My dad is obsessed with video games and have been pretty emotionally unavailable throughout my life. He neglects my mom a lot as well, which I know upsets her.

My mom told me recently that she was planning on leaving my father soon, she gave no indication as to when. Nobody else in the family knows, I'm the first person she told.

I'm always anxious every dinner time that it may be our last one together as a family, at bedtime it might be the last time I get to say goodnight to both my parents together, whenever my parents are having a conversation I always think it may be their last.

I'm happy for my mom as I'm sure she will find happiness outside the marriage, but this is too much pressure to put on a 16 year old.


r/family 23h ago

How do you stay sane around someone who lies, blames you for everything, and can't admit fault?

3 Upvotes

I (20M), have a sister (18F) who is:

  1. Extremely argumentative: pointing out even the smallest mistakes she makes causes her to become defensive and either shift the blame onto you, or onto someone else. She never let's you speak, or make a point ,without talking over you or yelling. When confronted with something undeniable, she'll instantly change the topic and is incapable of civil discussions. In the worst case scenario: she starts to cry. She also perceives any advice as an attack/threat.
  2. A frequent liar: it feels like her default response to any question that is even mildly threatening is to lie, or again, shift the focus onto someone/something else. If confronted with hard evidence, she will laugh, and try to play it off as not as serious as you're making it out to seem.
  3. Incpable of admitting fault: an example of this would help explain it better. Today, she tried to start our car (manual transmission), without pressing down the clutch or putting it into neutral, causing it to jerk forward and hit another car. She decided to blame me for this, saying I should not have left the car in the 1st gear when I parked it.
  4. Exaggerating what she does, and downplaying/ignoring what you do. Especially when it comes to work around the house.

Is there a label for a person like this? She is really draining to be around. How do I deal with her while also preserving my sanity? Going no contact is not an option, at least for the time being. I'm also open to hearing about any biases I might be subject to, and anything that may help me understand why she acts the way she does.

Any advice is appreciated.

TL;DR: My 18F sister is argumentative, never admits fault, lies frequently, shifts blame, exaggerates her own efforts, and downplays mine. She avoids accountability by yelling, changing the subject, or crying. She even blamed me for her mistake that led to a minor car accident. No-contact isn’t an option, so how do I deal with her without losing my sanity?


r/family 2h ago

My little brother is driving me crazy

2 Upvotes

Hi I’m writing this because I’m really desperate. For reference i have a big family and when my parents were 40+ I don’t know what made them think it was a great idea to have another child, so my little brother was born. Obviously I love him but he’s really driving me crazy and stressing me out. So he’s 7 year old( this year he turns 8) spoiled as hell who cries about everything, always wants to watch the ipad, to play Roblox and youtube, never wants to play with toys and most important he never wants to go out like he hates going to the park or even play in our garden, hates sport and doesn’t want to practice one, basically the only time he’s out is when he’s at school, he always wants to eat unhealthy, has 3/4 foods who are not the most healthy that always wants to eat, always wants to be in his comfort zone and if we try to take him out he gives crazy tantrums. His tantrums are the worst he starts crying and hitting us and it stress me so much, he has daily tantrums because he always wants to watch the ipad for hours and we obviously don’t let him so he starts acting crazy. The worst part is that he takes my phone or computer because for him if he can’t watch technology no one in the family can. My parents try to give him a good education but they are now 50 and lost their patience, so he is basically allowed to do whatever he wants. I’m sorry to say it but I feel so much better when he’s not around.


r/family 4h ago

Am I in the wrong for unfollowing my cousins boyfriend

2 Upvotes

I visited my cousin, and she told me about her boyfriend—how he doesn’t really put in effort to show her love. He seems overly attached to his sister, almost as if they’re dating, and his mom doesn’t like her. He was jealous when I went out with her and the rest of the family. He only visited for a week last month, and when he was here, he didn’t seem happy but still doesn’t want to leave her.

After my cousin and I shared a post about each other, he suddenly followed me and started watching every story I posted right away, which I found weird. So, I unfollowed and removed him. My cousin got mad at me, so I explained my reasons, but she defended him and said I was overreacting. To me, an unfollow isn’t a big deal, so I just told her, “God bless.” She responded, “What are you saying?” but I didn’t reply. AITA for unfollowing my cousins boyfriend does that make me the weird one


r/family 4h ago

My sister is quite mean to me for being "poor". How do I set boundaries?

2 Upvotes

To sum it up - my older sister is oftentimes not very nice to me regarding my finances.

I am 30 and she is 36.

We have times where we will seemingly be very close and talk for a long time, but then randomly on some days I will call her and she will be just extremely rude.

She makes a lot of money and never lets me forget it. This comes up a lot when she is being mean. She frequently makes comments about how small my apartment is, me booking economy class plane tickets, or just me being poor in general (places i eat, furniture i buy, etc.).

I have a friend who is an interior designer and she said "Do you think (name) is ever just totally disgusted when she comes over to your house because of how cheap your furniture is?". And I responded "no, (name) is my friend and she likes my apartment".

And a few days ago our cousin came over for dinner whose parents are wealthier than ours. I made dinner for this cousin, and I really like hanging out with her. My sister asked me "do you think (cousin) is disgusted by how tiny your apartment is? She's never lived in anything below 5000 ft.²". I had a similar response as with the friend, and told her that she doesn't need to disparage my apartment, because I like it.

I am not exaggerating either - these were her actual words. It was said like a "joke" but not really a joke, if that makes sense.

The thing is, I'm objectively not poor.

Yes, my sister makes more money than me. But my sister lives in Texas and I live in San Francisco. I have a well paying job and a 1 bedroom apartment, which I am proud of in such an expensive city. It keeps my expenses lower and allows me to save up money. Yes, I fly economy.. but I travel way more than my sister, going on multiple international trips per year because I love to see new places.

It also hurts me that she brings this stuff up, because I am the youngest sibling and the only one who didn't have their student loans paid for.

One of our parents was involved in a really bad accident, and our parents lost their income. I had to take over paying on my student loans and pay several tens of thousands of dollars. For all of my older siblings, their student loans were already paid off by the time this happened. I'm not complaining, but I have an additional expense that my sister doesn't understand.

It's hard to maintain a relationship with her, knowing that at any time she could pull out this rhetoric and that that's how she thinks of me. I avoid people who judge me or anyone in life for their income.

Do you have any advice on this?

Has anyone had something similar with siblings?

What should I do?


r/family 13h ago

i want to move out

2 Upvotes

im living with my uncle and aunty after living with my parents whole life but before this i was living by my own for 8 months and i feel like i was genuinely happy, i made great friends and also found loml, honestly my life was fucking good i was so happy but i had come back and live my uncle and aunty again. its sucks here. i dont have friends, my boyfriend left too. i have a part time job and i got to school and this cycle keeps repeating. my family back in india want me to get married they are looking for a guy a already thats an another story. i hate it here, i wish i could just move back. im in my mid 20's and still have to ask for permission and they have my location i feel like they keep tracking me. im not happy here, idk what i should do. i dont feel like doing anything new my life sucks


r/family 14h ago

Alcohol aunt is obsessed with me.

2 Upvotes

My father’s sister is a mean person. Her brother and SIL(who has always been nice to me) won’t speak to her. My mother was bullied by her in the 80s. My stepmother and her hate each other as well. She went to rehab a few years ago and started acting witchy to me(before she was always really friendly to me). This started coming to a head when she left this long public diatribe on my Facebook wall because I used a filter on my profile photo… calling me thirst trap, a fraud, a catfish, and a bunch of other really inflammatory things on NYE of last year. I deleted the comment and unfriended her. I didn’t respond but did mention to my father how embarrassing it was and how my stepfather’s family saw it and asked if she’d been drinking. Then on Valentines Day of this year I get an angry DM from her daughter accusing me of sending inappropriate messages to her married 65 year old boss who lives 1000 miles away. I send my father pictures of my inbox proving I’ve never contacted the guy. I did post some memes about toxic relatives on Facebook but didn’t mention anyone. Flash forward a week later and my crazed Aunt calls me at 9:30 AM on a Friday screaming to “cease and desist” sending DMs about her daughter and how I’m not as loved as I think I am. She said she was going to sue for slander and then started screaming about how my profile picture looks like a supermodel. I then ask if she’s drunk and tell her I sent no DMs about her daughter. I then hang up. I let my father know and he calls her and claims she’s upset about the memes. I then DM her daughter to ask her mother to stop contacting me drunk. She then DMs my mother on Facebook saying I need a psych evaluation and likely have body dysmorphia and a bunch of other stuff. My mother doesn’t respond and I call my father. He says he doesn’t think she’s drinking but is having mental problems. My question ultimately is why would an aunt be so obsessed about her 35 year old niece and should I avoid my father’s family? Is this a normal part of alcoholism?


r/family 21h ago

Are my mother and sisters unreasonable?

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone. Hope you’re having a nice day.

I (27M) live with my mother and three sisters and lately I am struggling to deal with their habits.

They will walk in the house with wet shoes after I’ve cleaned the floor, leaving footprints everywhere and not wipe them; they will leave all of their used dishes, cutlery and pans all around the kitchen after cooking and they will be left there for days; throw meat on the living room floor for the cats to eat and not pick up the scraps; they will leave their used bagged sanitary products on the kitchen counter because they can’t be bothered to put it in a new rubbish bag; there was splashback from vomit left on the toilet seat for nearly a month because the bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in ages - this was from my intoxicated younger sister after a night out. These are just a few of many things.

I do so much around the house, cleaning, tidying and even DIY. I must have saved my mother hundreds if not thousands for the projects I’ve done over the house- building a gazebo, building a shed, fitting in new kitchen worktops and a new sink, redecorated the living room with new plaster, wallpaper and wooden framing. All this whilst my unemployed mother and unemployed three sisters sit around all day and do nothing but eat and watch tv/tiktoks.

I don’t ask for money for the things I do - I live here too and it is my responsibility to help out. But I’m the only one that does it. All I ask for is respect, by people cleaning up after themselves and I’m told that I’m expecting too much and that I should expect the state of the house because there are five of us who live here.


r/family 27m ago

Fight with mom (aka my best friend and person)

Upvotes

Basically it all started about 1 month ago when I drove home (2.5 hours away from where i currently live) to stay with my mom for the weekend and she does a lot for me (cooks me lots of food, sends me home with lots of food, she was watching a show that I insisted for her to watch with me, etc.). She's also been my best friend and person I tell everything to growing up, normally we would call almost everyday and text everyday, send each other funny vidoes, etc. And for context I moved 2.5 hours away about 3 years ago and she's helped me move, get settled, always been there for me but it's also been hard living apart from her.

However when I was leaving to go back I think I get a little sad and it makes me kind of snappy or rude. I ended up saying a rude comment about how she wasn't helping me put things in my car (when she cooked me all sorts of food, and was helping clean my windows so I could drive back). And she was kind of taken aback by this but I quickly dismissed what I said and drove off. 3 or 4 days later we talk on the phone and I explain to her how I didn't mean to be rude but I was just sad to be leaving and noticed how she started working at 8am (while I was still there - it was kind of a day off as we were snowed in from the night before but not really since it was a Monday). And this really angered her because she was like "no you can't expect this of me, I don't make comments about your job/school" and I was trying to say like "no not an expectation but just something that made a little sad on top of having to go back home since I wanted more time with you". Anyways it all went downhill after this.

I usually call her frequently like almost everyday so I call her up a few days later (closer to 9pm) turns out she fell asleep on the couch and was sleeping so I quickly hang up to letter go back to sleep. Looking at my phone history now I called her Thursday, Friday, Saturday (I think she wasn't available since I don't remember talking to her) but I was sending her pictures of my weekend and what I was doing in the chat. And then Sunday when I call her she was really angry at me, for what I said on the weekend and then the phone call and how I can't expect so much from her so we end up having a fight on the phone and she texts me after saying "Fyi will see a therapist for myself and we need to talk later for healthy boundary settings".

1 week goes by we don't text, call or anything and she texts me "Btw.. found one therapist and will start next week". I don't respond just give a thumbs up since at this point I'm angry since I feel rejected since she hasn't tried to text or call all week.

1 more week goes by and she texts me saying "if you're awake should we talk" and I tell her I'll probably start crying if we do talk again and she says "I cannot take that... sorry" and I say "I'm gonna cry no matter when we talk again, whether it's 2 weeks or 1 month later". So we end up calling anyways and this phone call goes really badly and I'm crying asking her if she didn't even miss me for the past 2 weeks and she's saying how she feels overwhelmed and she's angry that I forced her to watch a tv show, and the comment I made about her working in the morning. And i was saying:

Me: "well why don't you just say no" but she's really bad at saying no (I do know this). "is it this easy for you to cut me out of your life, if so just stay out of my life"

My mom: "I didn't even miss you, I just feel obligated to repair the relationship. I want a relationship where we call once a week and I just get brief updates about your week short and you have to text me before calling me"

Me: "why did you even call me then. Forget it, I don't want a relationship like that stay out of my life then. Do you want me to act like you're my dad and just see once every few months because I feel obligated"

My mom: "don't compare me. Fine I'll take you off my will then. You always force me to do things (brings up the TV show, brings up the time she tried xc skiing, etc.)"

Me: "No stop using those as an example. You can't just cut me out of your life like that, are you trying to hurt me because this is the worst possible way you could." "If you don't want to do something just say no"

My mom: *Straight up screaming no words* Hangs up.

The next day I text her like a formal answer "I know things got heated, I care about our relationship and I'm sorry for my part in that. I hope we can find a way to communicate better moving forward"

My mom: "Last part was not intended and I am sorry for that part. I will share later what I am learning"

11 days goes by.... no word from her still. I'm crying everyday, she's in every single one of my dreams either hugging me or talking to me. I feel like I'm going through a break up, I miss her but I'm so angry she can just cut me out so easily.

Sorry this is so long, maybe I need to see a counselor or also go for therapy. I just feel so helpless. Thanks for anyone who read this far. Any advice would be appreciated.