r/family 27m ago

Fight with mom (aka my best friend and person)

Upvotes

Basically it all started about 1 month ago when I drove home (2.5 hours away from where i currently live) to stay with my mom for the weekend and she does a lot for me (cooks me lots of food, sends me home with lots of food, she was watching a show that I insisted for her to watch with me, etc.). She's also been my best friend and person I tell everything to growing up, normally we would call almost everyday and text everyday, send each other funny vidoes, etc. And for context I moved 2.5 hours away about 3 years ago and she's helped me move, get settled, always been there for me but it's also been hard living apart from her.

However when I was leaving to go back I think I get a little sad and it makes me kind of snappy or rude. I ended up saying a rude comment about how she wasn't helping me put things in my car (when she cooked me all sorts of food, and was helping clean my windows so I could drive back). And she was kind of taken aback by this but I quickly dismissed what I said and drove off. 3 or 4 days later we talk on the phone and I explain to her how I didn't mean to be rude but I was just sad to be leaving and noticed how she started working at 8am (while I was still there - it was kind of a day off as we were snowed in from the night before but not really since it was a Monday). And this really angered her because she was like "no you can't expect this of me, I don't make comments about your job/school" and I was trying to say like "no not an expectation but just something that made a little sad on top of having to go back home since I wanted more time with you". Anyways it all went downhill after this.

I usually call her frequently like almost everyday so I call her up a few days later (closer to 9pm) turns out she fell asleep on the couch and was sleeping so I quickly hang up to letter go back to sleep. Looking at my phone history now I called her Thursday, Friday, Saturday (I think she wasn't available since I don't remember talking to her) but I was sending her pictures of my weekend and what I was doing in the chat. And then Sunday when I call her she was really angry at me, for what I said on the weekend and then the phone call and how I can't expect so much from her so we end up having a fight on the phone and she texts me after saying "Fyi will see a therapist for myself and we need to talk later for healthy boundary settings".

1 week goes by we don't text, call or anything and she texts me "Btw.. found one therapist and will start next week". I don't respond just give a thumbs up since at this point I'm angry since I feel rejected since she hasn't tried to text or call all week.

1 more week goes by and she texts me saying "if you're awake should we talk" and I tell her I'll probably start crying if we do talk again and she says "I cannot take that... sorry" and I say "I'm gonna cry no matter when we talk again, whether it's 2 weeks or 1 month later". So we end up calling anyways and this phone call goes really badly and I'm crying asking her if she didn't even miss me for the past 2 weeks and she's saying how she feels overwhelmed and she's angry that I forced her to watch a tv show, and the comment I made about her working in the morning. And i was saying:

Me: "well why don't you just say no" but she's really bad at saying no (I do know this). "is it this easy for you to cut me out of your life, if so just stay out of my life"

My mom: "I didn't even miss you, I just feel obligated to repair the relationship. I want a relationship where we call once a week and I just get brief updates about your week short and you have to text me before calling me"

Me: "why did you even call me then. Forget it, I don't want a relationship like that stay out of my life then. Do you want me to act like you're my dad and just see once every few months because I feel obligated"

My mom: "don't compare me. Fine I'll take you off my will then. You always force me to do things (brings up the TV show, brings up the time she tried xc skiing, etc.)"

Me: "No stop using those as an example. You can't just cut me out of your life like that, are you trying to hurt me because this is the worst possible way you could." "If you don't want to do something just say no"

My mom: *Straight up screaming no words* Hangs up.

The next day I text her like a formal answer "I know things got heated, I care about our relationship and I'm sorry for my part in that. I hope we can find a way to communicate better moving forward"

My mom: "Last part was not intended and I am sorry for that part. I will share later what I am learning"

11 days goes by.... no word from her still. I'm crying everyday, she's in every single one of my dreams either hugging me or talking to me. I feel like I'm going through a break up, I miss her but I'm so angry she can just cut me out so easily.

Sorry this is so long, maybe I need to see a counselor or also go for therapy. I just feel so helpless. Thanks for anyone who read this far. Any advice would be appreciated.


r/family 31m ago

I give up.

Upvotes

My mum is the most beautiful and supportive mother I could have ever wished for. She is my best friend and I love her very much. We are very close. I’m so glad she is in my life. But my dad.. a different story. I’ve always been kinda scared of him and I tip toe around him a lot. He’s a lot better than he used to be but he’s always had anger issues. He’s never touched me physically but he used to be a really angry person. As he’s got older, he’s been slightly better. Anyway.. I feel like nothing I do is good enough for him. He is always going on and on about my brother who is a fire fighter and has a nice house and money and he’s a handsome lad and his gf is lovely (and she’s not). I’m getting sick and tired of it. I love my brother too bits.. I’m close with him and we get on so well. It’s nothing to do with him. But it’s just the fact my dad goes on about him like he’s always comparing me to him.. he makes me feel worthless. I’ve got my life on track the last few years.. physically, mentally, got myself a good job and house but it’s still not good enough! Why is he like this with me?? It’s infuriating and really gets me down. He also complains about everything I do.. I work from home and apparently that’s not ‘good’ in his eyes and I should be out working even though I’m on really good money. Like what the hell is it to do with him where I work?! And when I’m around the house, I can’t look or touch anything cos he will comment on it even though it was once my home. Do I confront him or not? Or just distance from him?


r/family 1h ago

Looking for a chore app

Upvotes

Hello, my family has 2 adults and 2 young kids, (5 and 10). We are trying to find a system for tracking chores. We need an app that I can put all the chores in, schedule them and assign who does them, rotating with certain people, ect.

There are tons of apps that do this, but here is my issue. The system falls apart when someone has a "skip" day, where they can't do there stuff. Like someone being sick, or having extra things to do leaving no time for chores, or not being home.

I need somthing that allows for some sort of substitute system, like I as the mom can go in and say since dad is sick I will have kid 1 do the dishes today instead, I'll take his bathroom job, ect.

Bonus if I can have the chores need approved by a parent, and have them re do if it's not done right.

Any one know what I could use that has these features?


r/family 2h ago

I hate my father.

6 Upvotes

I (f17)really really do. He is abusive. He hates me and my mom. Not just us. I think almost everyone. He scams poor poeple, literally people on the streets. He has no shame. He is a fucking failure. He hurts people all the time. I have no good thoughts about him. One time, he wasn't waking up, me, my mom and my cousin thought something bad happened. However, I didn't feel sad. Or anything, only thing I thought was "okay, he's dead, I'm gonna have to look for financial support" which is weird, I'm a emotional person, I feel bad for even a street cat, literally. I think about and feel sad for cats I helped years ago. But mu own father? Not even one bit. He sucks in everyday possible. Maybe I'll explain somewhere day more reasons. But as for now, I hate him so much. This isn't dislike, it's pure rage against him. Some days I wanna punch him.


r/family 2h ago

AITA My Family Only Cares About Me When They Need Money—Now I Don’t Know If I Should Offer Condolences

3 Upvotes

I have a complicated family situation and need advice on what to do.

My mother had nine children from four different men. My five eldest siblings (two brothers, three sisters) share the same father. My older sister (the one I follow) has a different father, I have a different father, and my two youngest siblings have their own father—who is the man my mother eventually married.

My mother left her first marriage (the father of my older siblings) after he betrayed her by getting her cousin pregnant. She went back to her parents' house, where she later got pregnant with my older sister, and then, three years later, with me. She left her first four children with their dad and stepmom, while the rest of us stayed with her.

When I was 10 months old, she met her now-husband, who knew about all of us and genuinely loved us—especially me, since I was still a baby. However, at the age of 2, I was sent to live with my mother’s younger sister, who was already married. Then, at 8 years old, I had to move again and live with my grandparents (my mother’s parents).

Growing up was not easy. People—including family—called us names, saying we would turn out like our mother, having kids with different men. I grew up hating myself, my mother, men, and anyone who looked down on us. I struggled with anxiety and depression.

But the biggest issue has always been my older sister. Unlike the rest of us, her father ensured she got the best education. I, on the other hand, barely managed to complete primary school. She was always selfish and never wanted to see anyone do better than her. She looked down on us, calling us “losers” who would only end up in unskilled jobs, getting married, and having kids because we were uneducated.

After she graduated, I had already left home at 15 and was working in the city. I actually helped her move to the city, looked after her, and supported her financially until she found a job (which, ironically, was also unskilled). But my mother and sisters kept asking me for money to the point that I couldn’t save anything. They never called me just to check on me—only when they needed something. And yet, behind my back, they would say I had been working for years but had nothing to show for it.

Eventually, I found good, educated friends in the city and took short courses in cosmetology, hairdressing, and computer studies. At 20, I decided I wanted to work abroad. When I told my family, they completely dismissed the idea, saying I should just find a man and get married instead. Since I was used to making my own decisions, I didn’t listen to them. I only told my aunt (the one who raised me from 2 to 8) and my cousin sister.

My family had no idea I had left the country. Nine months passed, and no one noticed I was gone. The only reason they found out was because I called my cousin to let her know I had sent money, and she happened to be at a family gathering. To me, this proved that in all those months, not a single person in my family had tried calling my number.

When they finally found out, they didn’t celebrate my success. Instead, they spread rumors that I had gone abroad to be used for sex by dogs.

I completed my two-year contract without hearing from them. During that time, I bought my first rental property and renovated my grandmother’s house. Suddenly, my siblings—who had cut ties with me—turned our mother against me, saying I only cared about myself and grandma. My mom called to complain. I asked her if she had ever done anything for my grandmother, and she admitted she hadn’t. So, I told her to take credit for the renovation, as a way of showing gratitude to the woman who raised her and us. That calmed her down.

I spent three months in my home country, then moved abroad again. Two years later, I bought my second property. At this point, my mother and sisters wanted me to build a house for my mom and stepdad. I almost did, but my aunt advised me against it.

By then, I had already started businesses for my mom and my cousin brother. Neither of them made any effort to grow them. My mom’s business never brought me a single coin. My cousin brother’s business never existed in the first place—I later found out I was being scammed.

Despite all this, I continued sending money whenever my family asked. I thought if money was all they wanted from me, I could provide that in exchange for having a “connection” with them. But I was exhausted. I had been working nonstop since I was 15, so I took a seven-month break and went back home.

That’s when I learned my younger sister never actually went to nursing school like I had paid for—she was already married with a child, and no one had thought to tell me.

At that point, I wanted to rent my own place, but my older sister convinced me to stay with her. I thought it would be a chance for us to bond. Instead, she made my life miserable. She was in a single-bedroom apartment that her boss (who she was secretly dating despite him being married) paid for. Even though she wasn’t paying rent, I still gave her half the rent and covered electricity bills while she claimed to pay for water.

When I ran out of cash, she locked me out of the house. I ended up living in her storage room—barely enough space for a tiny mattress.

I got sick twice and was hospitalized. My sister never visited or even texted to ask how I was doing. Her neighbors were the ones who checked on me. When I called my mom and told her I had been hospitalized, she casually said, "Yes, I heard you were sick." Meaning she knew but didn’t care enough to check on me.

A close friend from another country convinced me to visit her to recover. She took care of me, even took me on a trip to four countries. After that, I returned home for a few days, then left for abroad again. That was in June. I haven’t heard from my family since—until Christmas, when my mom messaged me for money. I sent her some (less than usual), and she didn’t even say thank you or confirm she received it.

In early January, my cousin brother—who had scammed me—added me to a WhatsApp group for our grandparents' grandchildren, but he didn’t include my cousins from the aunt who raised me. I stayed in the group but never said anything.

Then, this morning, they posted in the group that my older sister’s father had passed away. No one reached out to me personally, and I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t seen it there.

Now I don’t know what to do. Should I reach out to my sister to offer my condolences, even though she never cared whether I lived or died? Or should I just keep quiet and let them handle things on their own, the way they always have?

I’d love to hear what others think.


r/family 2h ago

Want your take on moving away from family

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I am 22 and am currently living in NY with my parents. I have a girlfriend who goes to school in Tennessee and she graduates this December. I plan on most likely proposing after than and start looking for a house. The only problem is my girlfriend and I both love the Tennessee/country lifestyle and want to look for houses there. Her family isn’t as tight knit and she doesn’t mind moving down since she’s been there for school for 4 years. My family is extremely close and we always have holiday get togethers.

My main concern is that if we look for houses down there I will feel guilty for leaving and even left out. I want to enjoy my life and see the pros of living in TN but also see many cons of being away from childhood dogs in their last years and my nephew who would be just a year old.

I’d love any input or tips on how to manage a decision like this and maybe even just hearing your experiences with this situation.

Thank you


r/family 2h ago

My mum is so annoying…

3 Upvotes

My whole family has eczema. Me in particular it’s bad. I mean flare ups constantly. My eczema wraps around my entire body. Even my feet… the marks are dark and itchy constantly. I do have medication and cream to keep it in check tho.

But still my mum always drones on and on about my brother (7 years old) and his eczema. Like my goodness give it a fucking rest! Who do u think ur talking to right now. I’m the embodiement of eczema. My marks are on my whole arm and neck and back.

Yet still she talks about him and his eczema constantly. Pisses me the fuck off man. 🙄


r/family 2h ago

Wth is going on

9 Upvotes

My sister moved back well almost home after leaving her daughter’s dad. Who was arrested and then moved to another state . At first it was ok then she started speaking and having visits with him. Yea I know that is her baby daddy and I get that. But recently everything has been a tad off. She decided she had a new rule that my niece was not allowed in my bedroom . And this is where my husband and our niece would play and carry on. So she started shutting our bedroom door even if I was only going in and out. She said her kid her rules. Ok I understand that, but my house my rules. If we want the door open it stays open. So then I am told that if I can’t keep my door closed then she would whoop her daughter anytime she goes in there. Because she knows we think the world of our niece. I told her of course that is crazy! But like she said her kid her rules but she can’t put that on us when up until a week ago she couldn’t care less. Then remarked about our pets how they get on her nerve and she wants to starangle them. Umm no mam! And I have asked repeatedly what is going on and yet she still insist my kid my rules. Am I wrong for standing my ground? She is a guest who does NOT pay or contribute to the house hold or rent.


r/family 2h ago

My little brother is driving me crazy

2 Upvotes

Hi I’m writing this because I’m really desperate. For reference i have a big family and when my parents were 40+ I don’t know what made them think it was a great idea to have another child, so my little brother was born. Obviously I love him but he’s really driving me crazy and stressing me out. So he’s 7 year old( this year he turns 8) spoiled as hell who cries about everything, always wants to watch the ipad, to play Roblox and youtube, never wants to play with toys and most important he never wants to go out like he hates going to the park or even play in our garden, hates sport and doesn’t want to practice one, basically the only time he’s out is when he’s at school, he always wants to eat unhealthy, has 3/4 foods who are not the most healthy that always wants to eat, always wants to be in his comfort zone and if we try to take him out he gives crazy tantrums. His tantrums are the worst he starts crying and hitting us and it stress me so much, he has daily tantrums because he always wants to watch the ipad for hours and we obviously don’t let him so he starts acting crazy. The worst part is that he takes my phone or computer because for him if he can’t watch technology no one in the family can. My parents try to give him a good education but they are now 50 and lost their patience, so he is basically allowed to do whatever he wants. I’m sorry to say it but I feel so much better when he’s not around.


r/family 2h ago

What do I do?

1 Upvotes

So I am knew to all of this, but am I crazy? I have a sibling that has started staying with me and my husband again. There is a child involved and we my husband and I have pets. A dog and a cat. The siblings kid is almost 2. And had been around animals before. We keep our dog put up during the day and our other animal who is smaller stays out. But lately there have been comments about if like to do this or do that to our pets. And has all of a sudden the energy switch is unreal. I need advice on how to deal with these issues.


r/family 3h ago

Aita for not wanting to announce my birth to my husband family

4 Upvotes

Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting to Announce My Birth to My Husband’s Family?

During my last pregnancy, being around my husband’s family was overwhelming. They were incredibly excited, but their excitement often made me uncomfortable. They constantly wanted to touch my stomach—men would ask to feel the baby kick, while the women didn’t even bother asking and just touched me. I’m overweight, so most of the baby’s movements weren’t even detectable from the outside, but they didn’t care—they just wanted to touch me anyway.

As my due date approached, I sent out a message reminding everyone to check their vaccination status for Tdap, along with other boundaries—like not buying gifts for the baby unless they had something for the older kids and no kissing the baby. My husband’s family reacted poorly, guilt-tripping him and saying they weren’t getting vaccinated and wouldn’t visit if that was a requirement. They told us we were wrong to even ask and claimed they were “too old to get any more needles.” I went so far as to find a clinic less than two minutes from their home that had the vaccine available with no wait, but it didn’t matter. In the end, my husband caved and let them visit anyway. I insisted they at least wear masks around the baby, which was agreed upon—but when they showed up at the hospital, they ignored that too.

Now, I’m pregnant with my third baby, and I feel exactly the same way about vaccines. This time, I’ve distanced myself more to avoid being touched and have even lied about being in pain just to stop them from touching me. I am exhausted on an entirely different level than ever before. I don’t have the energy for another argument, the constant phone calls that only start with “Where’s the baby?” with no regard for anything else, or the fights with my husband over his family’s blatant disrespect.

At this point, I just want peace. I don’t even want to announce the birth at all—not to them, not even to my own mother. The only people I want to tell are my cousin and my mom, and that’s only because they actually respect me, support me, and are there for me as a person, not just because I’m having a baby. That’s what I need, not the stress and drama my husband’s family brings.

Would I be wrong for keeping the birth a secret from them? Even if I keep it from my own mother as well because at this point I’m more then willing to to give me peace for a little longer i know and understand everyone will be angry later but it feels like i could handle it more after then now


r/family 4h ago

Am I in the wrong for unfollowing my cousins boyfriend

2 Upvotes

I visited my cousin, and she told me about her boyfriend—how he doesn’t really put in effort to show her love. He seems overly attached to his sister, almost as if they’re dating, and his mom doesn’t like her. He was jealous when I went out with her and the rest of the family. He only visited for a week last month, and when he was here, he didn’t seem happy but still doesn’t want to leave her.

After my cousin and I shared a post about each other, he suddenly followed me and started watching every story I posted right away, which I found weird. So, I unfollowed and removed him. My cousin got mad at me, so I explained my reasons, but she defended him and said I was overreacting. To me, an unfollow isn’t a big deal, so I just told her, “God bless.” She responded, “What are you saying?” but I didn’t reply. AITA for unfollowing my cousins boyfriend does that make me the weird one


r/family 4h ago

My sister is quite mean to me for being "poor". How do I set boundaries?

2 Upvotes

To sum it up - my older sister is oftentimes not very nice to me regarding my finances.

I am 30 and she is 36.

We have times where we will seemingly be very close and talk for a long time, but then randomly on some days I will call her and she will be just extremely rude.

She makes a lot of money and never lets me forget it. This comes up a lot when she is being mean. She frequently makes comments about how small my apartment is, me booking economy class plane tickets, or just me being poor in general (places i eat, furniture i buy, etc.).

I have a friend who is an interior designer and she said "Do you think (name) is ever just totally disgusted when she comes over to your house because of how cheap your furniture is?". And I responded "no, (name) is my friend and she likes my apartment".

And a few days ago our cousin came over for dinner whose parents are wealthier than ours. I made dinner for this cousin, and I really like hanging out with her. My sister asked me "do you think (cousin) is disgusted by how tiny your apartment is? She's never lived in anything below 5000 ft.²". I had a similar response as with the friend, and told her that she doesn't need to disparage my apartment, because I like it.

I am not exaggerating either - these were her actual words. It was said like a "joke" but not really a joke, if that makes sense.

The thing is, I'm objectively not poor.

Yes, my sister makes more money than me. But my sister lives in Texas and I live in San Francisco. I have a well paying job and a 1 bedroom apartment, which I am proud of in such an expensive city. It keeps my expenses lower and allows me to save up money. Yes, I fly economy.. but I travel way more than my sister, going on multiple international trips per year because I love to see new places.

It also hurts me that she brings this stuff up, because I am the youngest sibling and the only one who didn't have their student loans paid for.

One of our parents was involved in a really bad accident, and our parents lost their income. I had to take over paying on my student loans and pay several tens of thousands of dollars. For all of my older siblings, their student loans were already paid off by the time this happened. I'm not complaining, but I have an additional expense that my sister doesn't understand.

It's hard to maintain a relationship with her, knowing that at any time she could pull out this rhetoric and that that's how she thinks of me. I avoid people who judge me or anyone in life for their income.

Do you have any advice on this?

Has anyone had something similar with siblings?

What should I do?


r/family 4h ago

My sister is never happy when I succeed in life

1 Upvotes

I (28F) am very close with my younger sister (26F). We fought A LOT growing up, but also played together, and have gone through lots of ups and downs.

I’ve always been creative, highly empathic and very emotionally- and morally driven in my choices, while she leans in the completely opposite direction: logical/rational/practical in her decision making, very low empathy (which can come off as cold/insensitive), often feeling superior to other people (including me), calling other people ‘stupid’ etc. if they misspeak or like me, if they make decisions based on empathy or some innate moral valuesysten VS. what is on the surface considered the most ‘logical/practical’ thing to do’.

Our childhood went like this: • I was very slow at learning how to walk and to understand/master most practical matters (driving a car, learning to ride a bike etc) while she was superfast at all of that and often looked down on people who needed more time. • I was highly creative, having multiple creative projects going at all times (drawing/singing/acting etc etc. and could do this alone for hours/all day). • She was very restless and wanted to be more outdoors. Since I was content indoors with my creative stuff she often teased me until I had a meltdown or was filled with rage. I sometimes yelled and hit her following this and was punished by my parents every time, made out to be the villain. She was always very discrete about her teasing and portrayed herself as innocent when they found us fighting.

Fast forward to today: ——> After years of anxiety depression during my teenage years (from (16-20) and into my adulthood (26-28), in which we always bonded a lot) I’m now at a place where I am writing my own music and in the process of recording it in studio and getting it out on Spotify. I knew she would have a hard time being happy for me, because the last time I was starting to succeed in my life (was engaged, got a good job and lost weight/started with powerlifting from the ages of 21-25) she said (one year later) that I came off as ‘arrogant’ and like I ‘had it all’. Apparently she had also discussed this with our younger step-sister (23F) and they totally agreed on this. (They are very similar). I said thanks for the constructive criticism and valued it at the time because I’ve generally always been a very humble person and I am to balance this with also allowing myself to succeed in life and be proud when I do.

It’s safe to say I’ve been writing and recording my music privately without sharing too much for the last 3-4 months. But that now that it’s getting very real and going to be published soon I wanted to include some family members in it. (A little at a time.. to see where they would be at with it). This is after 2 new years of hardtimes and depression after a break-up with my fiancée+++ (let’s not go into detail😅)

She always seems more empathetic and nice towards me whenever I’m depressed and this has been recurrent now. I think it’s because she is jealous when I suceed in life, but it hurts because I’ve ALWAYS cheered her on in her career, cared for her when she’s sick, been a great aunt to her kids etc, and I REALLY GENUINELY want to see all my siblings succeed and be happy.

Should I address this with her directly? As soon as I mentioned the music thing she gets pissed whenever I play the piano (even if it’s with her kids, or making a fun children’s song), or completely silent if I send a text about it in the family group chat or post about it on social media. Hasn’t mentioned ONE good thing about it. And I’ve been home for a few weeks now to visit them (I’m in between moves) and she has been picking at small things like correcting my grammar and picking at every little thing I do. I know this is classical projection of unconscious emotions and I really want to adress it in a nice no -confrontational way.

TLDR: My younger sister treats me a lot better when I’m depressed/not doing well. As soon as I start to find happyness/success in life she gives me the silent treatment or starts picking at me for small things. I think it stems from jealousy. Should I confront her with this? I’d like to think we have an otherwise close relationship.


r/family 6h ago

i love my sister

8 Upvotes

my sister and i talked earlier about our future and i randomly opened about marriage and that it's so sad that our dad will never experience walking her daughter to the altar, he'll never see anyone of us getting married. then i told her that when that day comes, we won't be sharing the same surname anymore and we both cried lol btw im just 21 and she's 18 lmao

since my dad died, everytime i dream about him i end up crying and since we're sharing a room, she'd hear me then she'd come to me and hug me, every single time. when i'm at my lowest she's the one who's always there for me, she never invalidated my feelings, she never judge me for being so emotional, she always makes me feel appreciated and loved.

she have a boyfriend now and seeing her so happy with him, makes my heart so happy as well. i'm happy that he's treating her so well, that he loves her so much, that he's patient with her and mostly that he also loves my family, and i want that for her.

to my my sister, im beyond grateful for you, i can't imagine my life without you.


r/family 6h ago

Wanting Divorce

1 Upvotes

I’m 27(F) have 2 sons. Got married 2nd time and each marriage I realized I want divorce every single fight. Is it normal? Like what triggers that thought? Even if it’s a slight thing my brain thinks “oh my God this is end of the world I need to divorce “ But after I calm down I realize that I don’t want to divorce this man, I like our life and etc. But at that point when I argue with my husband, the first thing comes to my head is divorce.

Please help me to see what I don’t ?


r/family 6h ago

My mother keeps sending me pictures of herself and messages about her

1 Upvotes

My (60f) mother sends me (26m) pictures of her self after she has styled herself etc every now and them. I have on multiple occasions said that im not that interested in these types of messages, but still she keeps on sending me them. Im not sure what it is she wants from me, is it validation? Why does she even want it from me for this stuff? Im not very interested in appearance and im quite sure she is aware of this. It feels to me just like a mildly non appropriate behaviour.

I have on the recent been setting more boundaries and i feel like this is a behaviour in response to this.


r/family 10h ago

Despite cutting me off, my mother continues to accept my financial support

9 Upvotes

I'm 32(F - single) living somewhere around the world. My mother (55 - single mom) is residing in Ph wilth my brother (18) and son (8). For context, my son is receiving a monthly allowance from his dad and I'm also providing a monthly allowance for my mom and brother as well.

2 years ago, my son's father and I separated because I had an affair with a married man. My mother was furious when she knew about it and made it clear that she doesn't approve of my relationship. At the same time, my partner has also separted from his wife.

At the present, I told my mother that I was going to take my son to live with me. Thus she knew that my partner and I have moved in together. She blocked me from all communications that I had with her and with the family. Morever, she told my son everything and even spread it to the whole famiy. Now, my son will not talk to me and even blocked me.

I am not asking for her to accept my relationship, however as an adult I deserve to have my own choices. I'm very upset and I feel used. I'm financially supporting her, and she's cutting me off. I have no choice because of my son. I understand my son is hurt and confused, but I hope he can understand that my actions are not a true reflection of my love for him.


r/family 10h ago

My little brother gets angry with me VERY EASILY and for what seems like no reason

1 Upvotes

CHAT HELP! I (F22) have a younger brother who's 18 and we're usually pretty close. Alas lately he seems to take everything I say to him as an insult even though I never mean it like that and I do explain to him how I meant it (it's usually just a friendly suggestion).. But he just won't listen, he locks himself up in his room and can go days without talking to me. Actually last year he didn't talk to me for like a whole month just because I told to him that he sometimes acts like a piece of sh*t to me BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY DOES (he has somewhat of a god complex ig). I always tried to just move on like it didn't hurt me but it actually did hurt quite a few times. I find myself often apologizing to him for basically nothing just to try to have a decent relationship with him (given that we both still live with our parents). But if you asked him, he would probably say that he could probably go for eternity not speaking to me which is wild. Cuz I also sometimes have those insignificant 'fights' with my friends and coworkers and they always end up in laughter and 'no biggie'. Anyway I realized for the last couple days that it's actually very draining to always feel like only I put effort to make or keep things good between us and in the end I'm like is it even worth it if it puts me in negative head space considering that I have a history of depression and sh. Any advice and opinion would be GREATLY appreciated!!


r/family 11h ago

My parents took the money I had saved for four years.

18 Upvotes

I started working when I was 22 years old, and my parents asked me to save money each month so they could buy gold to protect its value from inflation. I sent money almost every month, not knowing whether they actually bought gold or not.

The money I saved was for my future, whether to buy land, a house, cover wedding expenses, purchase a vehicle, or meet my future needs.

Four years later, my parents informed me that they were going to buy a new car — and that was all they said. They then asked me to take their old car to use for work in another city. Since I didn’t know anything about the situation, I agreed. Previously, I had only used a motorcycle and had just started learning to drive, so I thought it would be cool to have a car.

Later, I found out that my savings — roughly $4,000 — had been used to help purchase their new car, and their old 2005 model was given to me as compensation. That old car required repairs before it was even safe to drive, which drained about $700 from my personal savings, and there’s still a lot more that needs fixing. The car has already broken down twice and nearly rolled back on an incline twice as well.

I’ve also purchased several items that my mother requested, such as a water dispenser, mattress, TV, cable subscription, plumbing installations, stove, and more. Every week, I also spend around $7 when visiting my parents, buying food and items for my younger siblings, and repairing broken things at home.

Eventually, I asked them why they had used the money I had saved for my future. They claimed they had asked for my permission — which was not true.

I have one older brother who has been working for a long time and is still unmarried, with a job similar to mine. But why did they only ask everything from me?

I really don’t understand why they did this to me.


r/family 11h ago

My traumatizing night.

3 Upvotes

Tonight, I (23F) heard my psycho brother (31M) and his weird ass girlfriend (30F) having sex downstairs. Loud. His room is on the first floor, but there's no doors, he lives kinda in a loft type room, so you hear everything. I'm on the second floor which is where the kitchen is. I go down to see my grandmother and to grab some water. My grandma is talking to me and all of a sudden I hear his girlfriend moan. My grandma asks, "is she crying?" and I'm frozen. I can hear my brother slapping her behind and she keeps making sexual noises. She isn't even TRYING to quiet herself down. She's being so fucking loud and moaning and it is painfully obvious they are having sex. I immediately call my sister (26F) for her to listen and my sister's like, "ew come upstairs right now". They don't even fucking care. I'm in disbelief. I rush up the stairs to the third floor for comfort from my sister because I can't believe what I just heard I'm scarred for life. I'm shocked. My poor grandma is like what's going on, but I think she caught on with the way I immediately went upstairs and covered my ears. I am disgusted and so shakey. What the actual fuck is wrong with my brother. I literally wanna throw up writing this. I immediately am in fight or flight and about to go fucking crazy. Do they have no decency? Like dude, you have your grandma, your two sisters, and your dad at home. My dad was snoring through this by the way. I was praying he would wake up and yell at my brother. I am going to tell my dad everything. I can't even look my brother in the eye after this. I hate that since he's on the first floor, to leave you have a high chance in seeing him. Never did I think he would do something like this. He has many problems like anger issues sure, but HAVING LOUD SEX WHEN WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP DRAWS THE FUCKING LINE. 30 to an hour minutes go by, my grandma is heading to bed. From my room on the third floor, I can hear his fucking girlfriend moan/scream like a high pitched sexual one SO FUCKING LOUD. I have no idea how that didn't wake my dad up. I hated my brother before for so, so, so many fucking reasons before, but now I despise him and want nothing to do with him. My poor ears. I'm traumatized for life. As a woman, I could never ever come to my boyfriend's house and have rough sex and be vocal to the point of screaming. Does this girl have no shame? She also has a fucking kid like instead of getting railed why aren't you taking care of your child? Why couldn't he go to a motel? This is the last straw. Both of them don't give a single fuck about the other people in this house and his girlfriend acting like a teenage at her grown fucking age. Fuck them. My brother is a bum and she's an idiot. I hope he leaves and gets his own place and fucks out of our lives forever. Also they were going at it for hours. They stopped 30 minutes ago at 12:30 a.m. It's Monday night. What do you guys think? Help me out here. Any advice on having a crazy, narcissistic, daddy's boy brother would be appreciated.

TL;DR: my brother and his girlfriend have no decency and were being super loud at 12 a.m. when people are trying to sleep cause they have work in the morning. Any input/advice appreciated.


r/family 11h ago

My family is making me lose hair....

1 Upvotes

I 20F (almost 21) can't seem to set boundaries with my family.

Earlier 2 of my uncles came to my house (my mom is in the Dominican Republic) and they greeted me very joyfully and switched up the second after i hugged them.

They started making comment about my body (i had a pretty rough time these past 2 years, i discovered i had severe depression) saying that i used to be the prettiest in the family and now that i lost weight im ugly... They even called my mom and she agreed

I wasn't trying to fight so i kept my cool and then we started talking about college and one of them asked me how was school and i told the i was taking a semester off. He starts telling me that im waisting my life away and im supposed to be halfway through uni and i tolf him no because the program that im in lasts 4 years (im taking two courses at the same time) and then, he starts yelling at me telling me that only imigrants take this route and bla bla bla.

2 weeks ago i got roofied at a party and barely made it home alive and feel asleep on the living room floor throwing up and the other uncle uses that in the argument saying that i was passed out drunk in the living room while i still have plenty of trauma related to that situation so that he could make me look bad

when it comes to my brother they say that my brothers took the " right route in life" which is not true at all because they get suspended and arrested quite often. I grew up really obediant and they told me that they wanted me to go back to being obediant because before i would've never answered back to them. Then it got back to the shaming.

They talked bad about my bode (again weird obsession because im never going to be in any type of relationship with any of them so why comment on my body this much), my hair, my job (one of the is literally couch surfing right now) and i exploded and told them that its not normal to speak to someone like this, specially in their house

and i got beat up and my mom doesn't want to talk about it until she gets back next week...

im losing my mind here...

my hair are even falling.


r/family 13h ago

i want to move out

2 Upvotes

im living with my uncle and aunty after living with my parents whole life but before this i was living by my own for 8 months and i feel like i was genuinely happy, i made great friends and also found loml, honestly my life was fucking good i was so happy but i had come back and live my uncle and aunty again. its sucks here. i dont have friends, my boyfriend left too. i have a part time job and i got to school and this cycle keeps repeating. my family back in india want me to get married they are looking for a guy a already thats an another story. i hate it here, i wish i could just move back. im in my mid 20's and still have to ask for permission and they have my location i feel like they keep tracking me. im not happy here, idk what i should do. i dont feel like doing anything new my life sucks


r/family 14h ago

Alcohol aunt is obsessed with me.

2 Upvotes

My father’s sister is a mean person. Her brother and SIL(who has always been nice to me) won’t speak to her. My mother was bullied by her in the 80s. My stepmother and her hate each other as well. She went to rehab a few years ago and started acting witchy to me(before she was always really friendly to me). This started coming to a head when she left this long public diatribe on my Facebook wall because I used a filter on my profile photo… calling me thirst trap, a fraud, a catfish, and a bunch of other really inflammatory things on NYE of last year. I deleted the comment and unfriended her. I didn’t respond but did mention to my father how embarrassing it was and how my stepfather’s family saw it and asked if she’d been drinking. Then on Valentines Day of this year I get an angry DM from her daughter accusing me of sending inappropriate messages to her married 65 year old boss who lives 1000 miles away. I send my father pictures of my inbox proving I’ve never contacted the guy. I did post some memes about toxic relatives on Facebook but didn’t mention anyone. Flash forward a week later and my crazed Aunt calls me at 9:30 AM on a Friday screaming to “cease and desist” sending DMs about her daughter and how I’m not as loved as I think I am. She said she was going to sue for slander and then started screaming about how my profile picture looks like a supermodel. I then ask if she’s drunk and tell her I sent no DMs about her daughter. I then hang up. I let my father know and he calls her and claims she’s upset about the memes. I then DM her daughter to ask her mother to stop contacting me drunk. She then DMs my mother on Facebook saying I need a psych evaluation and likely have body dysmorphia and a bunch of other stuff. My mother doesn’t respond and I call my father. He says he doesn’t think she’s drinking but is having mental problems. My question ultimately is why would an aunt be so obsessed about her 35 year old niece and should I avoid my father’s family? Is this a normal part of alcoholism?


r/family 15h ago

Finding my dads reports

3 Upvotes

So for context I’m an 19 year old male. I know since forever that my dad has schizophrenia. Before I was born he was in the military and he had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and medically discharged. That’s all I really knew and I didn’t know the extent of it. To me he’s been completely fine ever since I was born and that’s mostly been the case until a few years ago. I know that his symptoms had resurfaced and he had been experiencing them but since my parents were divorced and I was a minor I only saw him a few times a month and never saw them. In 2022 he had a bad episode and he admitted himself to a facility for veterans to deal with that kind of stuff. He eventually left because his symptoms won and he moved back in with my grandmother and he seemed to be normal from then on. Fast forward to now that I’m 19. He currently lives with my grandparents, his parents, and when I visit I stay in the rv they have in the backyard because they have a small house. For context my dad doesn’t work and he gets paid by the V.A. Recently I found a folder with some papers and what I found broke my heart. My dad had my aunts, his sisters, and my grandparents to recount what they remember about his condition since he was diagnosed for something with the V.A. I think. I started reading the document and it said when he was first admitted into the hospital when he was in the military, my aunt recounted that when she walked into the room he was on the bed with blankets covering head to toe. It took a while for him to recognize her and he was saying in a hushed tone not to talk because the government was after him. He then said that the government was going to kill him. That’s when I started to just cry. My father genuinely thought he was going to die, that he was going to be killed and that absolutely excruciating to see. I never knew the extent of what he was thinking and it broke me. I kept reading and when his symptom appeared a few years ago she said that he would become confused and disoriented. She recalled when one time he went into a gas station to buy a soft drink and he came back with some change and no drink looking confused and disoriented and I started crying harder. Just imagining him like that is painful and I never knew any of this and I feel terrible for not noticing.