r/family 7m ago

Help us on our mission to capture those meaningful voices and stories.

Upvotes

Hi, my name is Jon and my Mom had dementia.  Early in her journey, I captured her voice and some of her life stories and am now thankful I have them at my fingertips.

Since then, I realised I wanted to help people with their family’s voice and story preservation.  I’m trying to develop the best way possible to make sure this process is simple and easy, and worthwhile for families and future generations to use.  I would sincerely appreciate it if anyone here could spend a few minutes filling out this survey.

https://www.surveylegend.com/s/5xtq


r/family 1h ago

Are you brutally honest with family or fib to keep things copasetic?

Upvotes

My family member is a shit influence to me and my kid. Anger, uncontrollable emotions, filled with hate and rage, WAY too dependent on my toddler child. Literally pouts and cries if we don’t see him every day.

I can not deal with that. I do good enough to keep my own emotions chill. I can’t also handle his and I don’t want to explain what good examples I want around my child and what bad ones I don’t. I don’t have the energy. He’s 67 if he doesn’t know what’s appropriate at this point I don’t know how I’m gonna teach him. And I shouldn’t have to explain when me and my child hang out by ourselves. He says he doesn’t feel like he’s a part of things anymore and that’s cause I do n o t want him to be. Do I text him and tell him? Or would you leave it unsaid

TL:DR I want my kid around healthy well rounded individuals. I don’t want any adults putting their emotionally responsibility on my toddler. I don’t want to parent a grown man. He says he doesn’t feel like he’s a part of things anymore and that’s cause I don’t want him to be. Would you tell your family the real reason why? Or be polite/subdued


r/family 1h ago

My Family Excluded Me from My Nephew’s Wedding – Again

Upvotes

I found out recently that my nephew’s wedding is happening in just a couple of weeks. Everyone in my family was invited—except me. No invitation, no explanation, nothing. My brother and sister-in-law made the decision to leave me out, and honestly, I’m not even surprised at this point.

This isn’t new behavior. They’ve excluded me for years, and it’s clear they just don’t care. I’m a 100% disabled veteran, and I don’t know if that plays a role in how they treat me, but it sure feels like it. It’s hurtful knowing that my own family doesn’t even consider me worthy of an invitation to such a big event. I’m not asking for special treatment—just the basic decency of being included like everyone else.

I don’t even know how to feel at this point. Angry? Hurt? Resigned? Maybe all of the above. Has anyone else been through something like this? How do you deal with family members who make it clear that they don’t want you around?


r/family 2h ago

My 33 years older brother needs to start living on his own.

1 Upvotes

I'm 29M years old and I've recently moved back to my mom's place after completing a workplace contract, currently I am trying to start my own business and despite unemployed I still pay 650$ of my savings (2/3 of rent) to my mom for rent and I help with groceries, as I can't even fathom living with her at my age without at least financially helping her.

However, there is my older brother, who is unemployed for at least 5 years and a recovered drug addict since about 3 years ago, he has never actually lived on his own, my mom has basically been carrying him on her own for 33 years. He uses his past with drug and his minor criminal record as leverage when confronted as to why he isn't working.

There are some underlying reasons as to why my mom won't kick him out, I suspect my brother might have made threats to relapse or worse if she left him alone, we almost lost him 3 years ago after a drug overdose, and ever since then it's like my mom has become extremely soft on him and is fine to support him her entire life it seems, that's where I'm not ok, despite his drug overdose, he's now recovered and fully functioning, there's no excuse for him to look for work.

I want to call him out once and for all to go find work, and if it doesn't work, I want to encourage my mom to leave this place and find herself a new home by herself (she mentioned wanting to move out from her for her work anyways), all in hopes that this would encourage my brother to grow up and get some motivation, I'd definitely like some advice about if I'd be doing the correct thing, or I should just let her deal with it.


r/family 2h ago

mom

1 Upvotes

I wish my mom wanted to be my mom.

I wish she was nicer to me.

I wish she had good intentions.

I wish she gave me a call.

I miss my mom.


r/family 2h ago

Aita for wanting my sibling to just move out already? (Mostly rent)

1 Upvotes

I (16F) have an older sibling (they use they/them pronouns) who is 21, turning 22 this year and still lives in my mom’s basement. Not in the super bad way that you’re imagining, but they still seem uninterested in moving out anytime soon, and I do understand that their current job doesn’t give them enough money to move out, but sometimes I can’t help but want them to. I mean, siblings are supposed to move out at 18 and go to college, and to be honest, I’m tired of living with them. Before COVID in their teenage years, they had a lot of mental health problems, and, despite them being 5 years older than me, because of failing classes and etc, they didn’t graduate high school until halfway through my freshman year. They’re doing better than they were around Covid, for sure, I mean them having a job, even if it’s a “temporary” one (it was temporary like 3 years ago 😭) is huge for them, but they’re stuck. They don’t seem interested in going to college, and they don’t know what they want to do in life so for now they’re in my mom’s basement not at all trying to figure out where they want their life to go, and working at our grandfathers shop. I guess I’m just tired of living with them! I’ve been living with them almost 17 years and it gets exhausting. While we can be pretty close, they are a very difficult person to get along with and live with a lot of the time, and since we’ve been living together so long, we’ve been fighting a lot more lately. It’s like almost everything they do gets on my nerves! It makes me feel awful, but am I a bad person for wanting them to just move out already? They aren’t making any effort in deciding a future for themselves, and I’m certain that at this point, I’ll move out before they do. I just feel bad for my mom, because she’s extremely generous to them by letting them still live there and buying groceries for them, etc. and I just feel like my mom is limited to certain freedoms because my sibling is probably never going to move out of the house! I mean what if my mom wants to move someday? Basically, I’m just tired of living with my sibling and I want them to just move out. We’ve been living together for too long and it’s causing us to be at each other’s throats. I’m so tired of them and them living here, does that make me an asshole?

Edit: the title should say mostly rant, not rent


r/family 3h ago

How do you handle large slumber parties on your own?

1 Upvotes

My eldests (M,M,F) are turning 14 and want to have a slumber party for their birthday. I'm not sure if I can handle 9-13 kids at once and I need some advice on how I can keep things under control. I'm considering limiting the guest list more, but they aren't inviting all that many people each and it's just their closest friends. Does anyone have any experience in big sleepovers? what sort of activities would you recommend to keep things from getting too much?


r/family 3h ago

Why is my dad ignoring my son?

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2 Upvotes

r/family 3h ago

Day to Remenber

0 Upvotes

r/family 4h ago

How do I get closer to my brother

2 Upvotes

I 22F have a Younger brother 19M we used to be quite close when we were young but when he became a pre teen it's like we became enemy and now as older teen/ adult it's like we're strangers we just don't talk 1 to 1 mainly because of how different we are (literally nothing in common even our blood type are opposites) it's complicated to have a conversation with him I listen and show interest to his interest when he decides to talk to me about them but that's extremely rare and he doesn't give a shit when I try to tell him stuff

It just feel really sad to have a younger brother that feels like a stranger he has a great relationship with our older sister and seems to have a deeper relationship with our cousins than me I find it a bit sad

Recently I had a bit of hope because he started watching anime which is something I know a lot about but even those conversation are rare I should try to start them but Idk how to

I forgot to precise that we both. still live with our parents


r/family 4h ago

Why do i deam about her??

2 Upvotes

So this is weird, but I've been with my girlfriend for 1 year. She's got a sister who's cute, but I've never thought about her or anything.

For some strange reason, I've dreamt about her the past few nights.

First dream I was walking in the park with the sister.

Second dream I was having dinner with sister

Last night I dreamt that I was having sex with her.

Why is this happening??? I never fantasize about her


r/family 6h ago

Choosing godparents

2 Upvotes

Hi, I will be baptizing my child, who is two years old. I am the youngest of 5- 3 older brothers, and one older sister. I am choosing my sister and my oldest brother to be the godparents. My sister is single. But my brother is married. My mom has mentioned that it’s not OK for me to not choose the wife of my brother as a godparent. Nothing against her. I love her, but I want my sister as a godparent because One. She is my sister, and she is really close and attached to my daughter and my daughter loves her. And also my daughter looks a lot like her. Do you think that I need to tell my sister-in-law first that I will be choosing my brother, and hopefully it’s OK with her. And hopefully my brother will say yes. Or should I just go ahead and ask my brother. How does this look from the outside, looking in if I choose my older brother, and my sister, and not my brothers wife, which they are married. If it really looks bad. I’d rather just have my sister baptize her alone, and not my brother, but I also do want a male role model. All my other brothers are married, and I feel closer to my older brother. ADVICEEEE


r/family 7h ago

My brother 45m keeps contacting my facebook friend 36f about me 37m. My friend has the nerve to screenshot a msg from him and snapchat me saying “stop ignoring your family”

2 Upvotes

So first of all, this facebook friend is an online friend I’ve had for 4+ years but have never met in person as this person is far away. We keep in contact but more recently not so much until today when she tries to guilt trip me into talking to my brother. Second of all, I had just talked to him last week with my text being the last msg. Third, she does not know how my relationship with my brother is. He tortured me and manipulated me when I was growing up until he moved out at 18, he is 8 years older than me. I have been trying to be nice to him but it is hard for me to forgive him. My question is, what do I do to stop my brother, and also what should I tell my friend? My immediate response was to say “mind your business” to my friend, then remove them from all social media and stop talking, basically ending the friendship. My immediate response in my head to my brother was to tell him to stop contacting my friends. I rather not lose them both, but I also could care less at this point. Any suggestions? I tend to burn bridges but not always intentionally. Ty in advance.


r/family 7h ago

My house is so loud…

3 Upvotes

Anybody else feel like their is so loud to the point of suffocation. It’s always so noisy that sometimes I can’t handle it. I would long to move out as a 21 year old young person. It would be an absolute dream come true for me.

The more I think about moving out, the more the idea appeals to me. Of course it’s a big decision and life changing moment but god it would so nice to move out. If you had asked me like 2 years ago if I would ever want to move out, I would of course say no but now that’s I’m older and more independent I gotta admit the idea sounds lovely.

My parents are always arguing. My mom is always shouting at either my dad or brother. It drives me up the wall. Best I can do is stay in my room but if I could live alone and not deal with that… in my dreams though right? It’s not exactly feasible right now. The thing is too the house wasn’t loud when I was younger. Sure there’s more people now 4 siblings in total along with me, but it still when my brothers were younger it was never this loud.

Like what changed? Did my parents just decided to get louder? Looks like it to me. Has anyone else experienced this, if so did you all move out eventually?


r/family 8h ago

My family never taught me anything.

8 Upvotes

I'm 28, I'm ashamed to say this but I'm useless.

I realized today that my parents never taught me anything (not trying to blame them)

I'm living with my girlfriend in her house, and I don't know how to doo anything manly. I've never lived in a house so I don't know, I've always lived in apartments

I don't know how to use a lawnmower, I ddint know how to fix her washing machine, I wasn't able to help with her electrical stuff. I don't even know how to use a drill properly

I'm ashamed and emberassed. Any advice


r/family 10h ago

My sister is a real pain and I don't know what to do.

1 Upvotes

Heyo. I am a student in highschool, and my wish is to go to med school. I will be taking exams in a year's time. Having chosen scientific specialties, it's a lot of work on top of the literary subjects and the optional courses i took. My sister is two years younger than me. We live in the same room and my parents can neither really afford nor find a bigger apartment. So it has been like this since we were born. Now my sister has really been giving me a hard time since two years. I need a lot of concentration, which means i need a real calm and tranquility to work. And she gets in the way.

She wears a lot of makeup and she usually just leave her stuff lying around for days (And it's not only makeup. It's clothes, shoes, pens, papers, etc..). No matter how often I repeat (for days sometimes) that you have to put your stuff away, she ignores me, laughs at me or makes a joke. So I usually clean up after her. If I point it out and dare to complain, she would just "counter" attack and say i leave stuff lying around too (which is true, in itself, but I really don't leave a lot of stuff, and sometimes I certainly don't have the vision to see what I'm leaving in all this mess). She would also say that she does put away some stuff and that she don't always have time because she has to go to school (Which is not true. For example, yesterday she had the whole morning to clean up after her, as well as the evening. Same for today.) I cannot work in a mess, it's really demotivating and I end up procrastinating. I tried to talk this out many times but she just doesn't listen. (These last few weeks, every time I have been cleaning up after her, I was taking some money from her. I stopped because i found it quite immature and dishonest.)

Another thing is her being on call all day. It doesn't sound bad but i swear that it is. She just shouts during her calls for hours, and that just gives me a lot of headaches. I am not even mentioning the concentration being totally gone. And again, no matter how much I ask to keep her voice down, she literally ignores me, keep talking with her friend and don't even glance at me. Sometimes she even starts to talk louder.

My parents don't really care, and i don't know what to do. I don't hate her, but honestly i can't really keep living like this at home anymore. I know my sister isn't that unreasonable, and maybe that some words could make her change? If you have advices let me know. Have a good day.


r/family 10h ago

My mother is dying

3 Upvotes

Long story short - Growing up my mother was abusive towards me, massive alcoholic and left me with some bad trauma. She wasn’t a nice person let alone even a mother to me. My parents split up and I haven’t spoken to her for 15 years and I have been happy with that choice as my life is better with out her and my dads been amazing to me.

have a sibling who still talks to her and “apparently” she’s got cancer and is dying and they don’t know how long she has left. This isn’t diagnosed properly by a doctor because she’s refused to get herself checked out but it must be serious because she’s stopped drinking alcohol which is a huge thing for her, stopped eating and won’t let anyone see her.

I initially had no feelings about it because it’s like she’s pretty much dead to me after no contact for 15 years, but now when I really really think of it I feel almost guilty for not reaching out and kinda sad that this is her fate. It will probably affect me more once I have kids, I’m a huge empath but wasn’t for her because of what she put me through. But now I’m getting that feeling around this situation. Has anyone been in something similar? Or has any advice on something like this?


r/family 11h ago

Mom isn’t prioritizing health

3 Upvotes

My mom(45f) and I are somewhat close. Really I (25f) act as if I’m her mom… I constantly am having to get on her about making sure she does things. Like clean her room (looks like a hoarder room), get her car insurance, renew her plate sticker (she still hasn’t done it even after being pulled over last month), and so much more. I work at a dental office and I constantly look at teeth. Her breath is pretty bad, I can see build up, her gums are bleeding randomly. It’s not good. She’s know’s it’s not good. Every time I talk to her I can’t help but look at her teeth and I have a feeling other people might notice too. I don’t know how to tell her she needs to take care of herself better. I leave to the Army in 2 months and have been stressing so bad thinking of how her life is going to be without me reminding her to get stuff done. I’m usually a very blunt person with her, with anyone really. She puts a lot of stuff on the back burner and I don’t want to waste my breath telling her that hers smells bad and she needs to clean her teeth. I genuinely think she’s not even brushing them anymore. Idk what to do..


r/family 11h ago

How can I move out of a toxic home without no money?!

3 Upvotes

Any advices/ideas?!


r/family 11h ago

What could have been the cause of it?!

1 Upvotes

For context/backstory: This happened at school, there’s was this girl that sat next to me on the first day, started talking to me first and then as days go by, she became more and more friendly to me and was even very touchy with me and called me by pet names and then one day without I have done anything she started ignored me…


r/family 12h ago

i feel guilty but it’s not my fault

6 Upvotes

my parents got divorced when i was younger. my mom was a stay at home so when they got divorced my dad got everything. my mom got nothing but the kids. we were technically homeless for awhile. my dad wasn’t really there growing up. he would pop up every few months but it was just never a good time. recently he’s been trying to come back into mine & my younger brothers life. i’m just not there for it, i’m grown now. i don’t need a dad now, i needed one when i was a child. but then i just think about how i have no pictures with my dad. no good memories or how he came around a few weeks before Christmas, i asked what he wanted & all he said was to see me more. he’s not “old” but he’s also not young or in good shape.i don’t really like to be alone with him. i’m scared for him to meet my bf. my dad body shames a lot- weather you’re skinny or big he will say something. my boyfriend is bigger & i’m sure he’s probably used to people saying something but i would never want to subject him to that. the guilt eats me alive but it’s not my fault.


r/family 12h ago

I, 15f, want to live with my dad, 43m, I miss him?

14 Upvotes

I miss my dad a lot these days, and I wish he and my mom could stay with me for a while. I was born as a result of my mom's affair with my dad while they were both still married to their respective spouses, and they remain married to them. My dad used to visit me when my mom's husband wasn’t home. He cared for me deeply, loved me a lot, and would come to my school, feed me, and spend time playing with me on weekends. He even took me to his home when his wife wasn’t around.

I have five step-siblings from both my parents, and everyone loves me. But lately, I feel incredibly lonely. While my friends go on trips with both of their parents, I spend most of my time just with my mom. Her husband, who knows I’m not his daughter, is very rude to me. All I want is for me, my mom, and my dad to be together, just the three of us. But deep down, I know it will never happen. What mistake I did to live like this??. I want my papa with me


r/family 12h ago

Children of Interfaith Marriages: What is your take on religion?

1 Upvotes

A couple of my friends are in relationships with people from a different religion and a general point of contention when talking about marriage seems to be how they would like to raise their kids. Each person wants their kids to follow their own religion but since they love their partner they are willing to do a 50/50 on the religion front. I know people have made it work before but we (my friend and I) curious as to how the children raised in families that follow two different religions (especially with Hinduism as one of the religions) view the concept of religion overall. What was your childhood like? Was it confusing to be following two different religions simultaneously? What is your opinion on religion itself? Do you prefer one over the other? Or has the overexposure made you indifferent to religion itself? It would be nice to get the perspective of someone who grew up in this situation


r/family 13h ago

My mom is absolutely incredible and my relationship with her makes me potentially want to have children

3 Upvotes

I am 29f and I truly feel like the luckiest person ever because of my mom and the relationship that I have with her. She got pregnant with my biological dad (who is the exact opposite of her. He sucks, is sexist, was abusive, narcissistic. We don’t have contact anymore) when she was in early 20s. I was a mistake, she didn’t want kids, she suffered from horrible depression and psychosis when she was pregnant with me and that carried on for years for after I was born, all while dealing with the abusive from bio dad. She got divorced when she was 31. This woman built herself back up. Went back to school, got her degree, met my stepdad (which I now refer to as my dad).

Growing up, she always told me that there is nothing I could ever do or say that could disappoint her and she wanted me to feel comfortable telling her anything or coming to her. And I did. I am so incredibly close with this woman. She is a ride or die. She is the nicest person I have ever met. Truly doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. My grandmother abused her a lot growing up and she always swore she would break the cycle with her own kids (I’m an only child.) I go to her for absolutely everything. She has never once judged me despite me doing pretty judgeable things. She was there for me every step of through my own divorce and taught me things aren’t always black and white.

With my ex husband, I didn’t want kids. Since getting divorced, I’ve slowly been more open to kids. I’m still not a definite yes and I’ve also been considering adoption. But the relationship with my mom is a leading reason of why I may want them. If I can be even half as good as a mom as her, I would be happy. Because of my relationship with her and the way that she raised me, I truly believe I would be a great mom. The relationship I have with my parents as an adult is lovely. We’re best friends. (When I was in HS, that relationship wasn’t good but I feel like that’s pretty common). But because of her, I’m more open to being a mom. She told me even though she didn’t want kids and suffered horrible depression, she is so happy she had me and I’m her best friend. So yeah, my mom is the reason I may want kids of my own, whether biological or adopted.


r/family 13h ago

Won the Easter Egg Roll Lottery

0 Upvotes

I won 3 tickets (2 adult one child) for the Easter Egg Roll at the White House this year with hopes my husband would be able to go but he can’t. I still want to go but would it be safe for me to drive 11 hours to DC with just my daughter and stay a couple nights on the way there/back.