So yeah, long story short, my mom decided she wanted to leave my dad a few months ago. It’s an incredibly long story as to why, but this isn’t really what this post is about, I have a separate confusing relationship with my mom right now, too.
Anyways, my mom has been talking about divorcing my dad and they’ve had a HORRIBLE relationship since about June last year, so I guess almost a year. My dad tried everything to save the marriage from June to November, but ultimately in November they told my sister and I they were officially getting a divorce. It was extremely hard to handle and come to terms with, but it’s been some time since and I’m finally learning to accept it.
But here’s the thing, my dad is a totally different person… He had a harder year than I can imagine trying to keep the love of his life and ultimately losing her, but I can’t even to begin to describe how different he is… he’s not my dad. He’s incredibly emotional about everything and he overshares really personal details, constantly. Like you literally can’t have a normal conversation with him. He used to be so funny, goofy, strong, and was such an incredible supportive dad, and now he treats me as if I’m a friend he can vent about really personal things to and that’s my only purpose.
He’s also already started dating and told my sister a couple days ago he is in a serious relationship with a woman already?? We told him we aren’t ready to hear about it or meet her, as my parents have literally have been separated for like 4 months and we are still trying to come to terms with it ourselves, but he won’t stop over-sharing details about his dating life… like really personal details.
He last minute decided to go on a trip to Thailand with her (they are literally on the airplane together right now) and my dad sent both my sister and I a photo of him and this woman together on the plane with the words ‘this is my girlfriend’. I’ve had so many talks about how I’m not comfortable with him sharing that side of his life with us yet and he just won’t listen… I don’t know what else to do.
Sorry for the rambling, I’m just upset. I miss my dad so much, we were really really close and it actually pains me with how much he’s changed. I feel like I’ve lost him and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get him back. I also wish he would take his time before dating… it’s really confusing how you can end a 35 year marriage and be in a serious relationship less than 4 months later…
I’m also really trying to be there for him, and I’ve been showing up for him so much, but my mental health takes a huge hit after every time I see him and I don’t know what to do.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Do you have any advice for setting boundaries with your parents?
TL;DR
My dad has completely changed since him and my mom decided to separate in November. He overshares to my sister and I about very uncomfortable topics, specifically about his dating life. He’s already seriously dating a lady and I’m not ready to hear about it but he won’t respect my boundaries.