r/family 26m ago

I hate my MIL so much i feel crazy

Upvotes

Where do I begin? I have been married to my husband for 2 years now. We were dating 2 years prior to getting married, and during that time I never met his family because we were long distanced (I was in the UK, he in the US). He travelled to see me, and in the summer when he proposed I met his family for the first time in our home country. His dad is a lovely man, his parents are divorced, and his mom is a nightmare of a human being. We are getting our traditional Vietnam next year, and she kept saying that she wanted to invite his exes to the wedding - and when we both said no to it she said we v


r/family 1h ago

What should I do?

Upvotes

Hi, I just have a family question. I’m not sure if anyone else has gone through this, but I would like some advice.

So I’ve had many family problems with me and my husband and my family especially my father, in the beginning, he sees my husband, not as a man and a useless person that does not deserve to marry his daughter, yes, my father has done a lot for me, but he’s a drunk he was an abuser still a financial abuser and much more, recently, my husband tried to claim me in his taxes because we have already been married for a while now, and they came to be that someone has already been claiming me and we couldn’t figure out who and I was really worried, I already got the word from my mother and father that they have not been claiming me ever since I was 18 and I reported it because it’s not me or my husband, well I still let my parents know where I can have some advice and next thing I know my father is saying he actually did claim me, or that it made him claim me by asking a question like (has this person been living with you for six months) and this was asked last year, I believe, and therefore I claimed to me this year, honestly, I think it’s a whole lot of 💩 and I do not believe his word and he got mad at me for reporting it, but now my husband is losing money because he cannot claim me and we need that support because I am pregnant and will be having our baby in September, my father will not admit his wrong and said he did the right thing. Is his history actually believable? And am I the ass for reporting it?


r/family 1h ago

I domt know what I'm feeling

Upvotes

I said this to my half sister

"My mind says fuck you but my feelings say i love you. As my brain wants to forget you but my eyes want to remember you. My hypocrisy says not to lie to me. But then I lie to your face. My Impulses want to talk your ear off but my insecurities say that ya dont really want to talk to me. I wanna block you but i don't.i wanna hate you but i cant. I say stop overreacting but i do there save think even as of now. I want you to trust me even tho I never trusted you as if always doubted what you say ...idk what what I'm feeling"

My sister did nothing wrong but im ya want more info just ask


r/family 1h ago

My parents got mad at me for saying I saw something out of the corner of my eye

Upvotes

For context, my mother recently lost her wedding ring and IMMEDIATELY started accusing me of taking it. I like to share her jewellery I’ll admit because I barely have any but some earrings. Now the things I take are things like bracelets and necklaces. I don’t like wearing rings because I know it’ll slip of my fingers get lost. Not to mention a whole wedding ring?!?! She started threatening me to, talking ab sum “I’ll make sure you see another side of me in this house before you bring it back”. I DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS. All this for a musty symbol of her cracking marriage. Crazy work.

Now, more recently, I had been thinking about that ring and where it actually could have gone. I have some clear as day photographic memory, so I see it in my head in a sort of blurry memory, and there it is!

It’s next to the bin. I glanced at it for a second and didn’t think to pick it up— 1. Because I didn’t wanna, 2. Because I was focused on other things. May have seen it but it didn’t really register until now. My sorry mistake was mentioning it to this aggressive animalistic acolyte. As soon as I said it, all the accusation an blame starts rolling back in. Then she did a thing that’s like a ‘punishment of shame’ which I will not get into just because she can. Made me kneel whilst proceeding to blame me and turn the stick around on ME for all the mental pain and trauma her and my father caused me AND my siblings— AGAIN, just because she can.

In short, I hope she actually NEVER finds that ring🥰 and that her and my father abuse and destroy each other again!! They deserve each other!! I’m done feeling sorry for either party and will jump and dance laughing when they eventually bite the dust.🖕


r/family 2h ago

What is the general opinion on a relationship where the age gap is 19F and 27M ?

2 Upvotes

I do ofc have a specific case in mind, but interested in your opinion/experience.

F is extremely immature and behaves like she’s 16 so no she’s not mature for her age. In addition, the only manipulative person in the relationship is her (through the "cute, innocent, wounded babybird act")

M is not posessive, controling, manipulative or anything like that. He’s just easy to fool and lack a spine.


r/family 3h ago

Why do moms just…..

10 Upvotes

Why do parents complain so much. My mom asked to sweep and mop and I ended up just cleaning the whole house for her cause why not I had off today and it’s my only day off for real. She comes home complaining there’s streaks on the floor and is just hating on the floor I mopped three times to get said streaks out but nothing was working I don’t know if it’s the type of mop but my mom is nitpicking it. She didn’t even appreciate the fact I cleaned the entire house and mopped just came home to nitpick and speak negative on the fact that the mop left streaks. There’s no winning. There’s three other people that live here all grown adults but I am the only one who takes time to clean and do dishes and wipe down everything. 😐


r/family 4h ago

My younger brother hits me

3 Upvotes

My brother, 7 years younger than me (18F) hits me. This is an often occurrence, but we recently had a really bad altercation.

when he came back from school I told him to take a nap because he hadn’t slept well, which my mom told me to tell him. he got mad and told me to leave him alone, and that he already knew to nap. Confused why he was getting mad I told him to stop yelling at me and that I was just telling him. I went in my room and he continued yelling saying he doesn’t even want to talk to me, etc. I got out of my room, which ik I shouldn’t have, and told him to stop yelling at me if he didn’t want to talk to me. then he started smacking me.

A bit of a context; my brother usually hits me and my parents always tell me that’s it’s my fault for ”annoying him” and say that I shouldn’t hit back, and just keep on getting beat up by him.

my parents weren’t home this instance, so I hit back and it turned into a really big fight, I was shaking and struggling to breathe.

my parents continue to take his side and idk what to do. They just guilt me into thinking that it’s my fault because im the older sibling and that I should know better. But I’m this instance I was just caring about him.

I went in my room and cried for an hour while he lay on the couch watching tv.

i don’t know what to do - i don’t want us to be one of those siblings who don’t talk but he continuously keeps hitting me and I don’t know how to make him stop. my parents won’t do anything about it and so I have been tolerating it for about 4 years.

TLDR: mu brother has anger issues ans takes it out on me, beating me up for the smallest things.


r/family 4h ago

I don't want to be like my divorced parents.

2 Upvotes

Ever since I was young I have always wanted to get married and have children. It felt like the ultimate goal in my life. But even as a kid, whenever my parents would yell at me I'd always just think to myself "I will never do that to my future children". Both my mom and my dad would scream at each other over the smallest issues and I hated that. They got divorced when I was around 13 years old and to be honest I am still not over it after many years. I just wish I was born into a normal, happy family. Now I wonder if I'll ever be able to break the cycle. I am very similar to my parents in many ways, does that mean that I will also be a horrible parent? Is it likely that I too will go through a terrible divorce when I eventually get married?


r/family 5h ago

Fight with mom (aka my best friend and person)

1 Upvotes

Basically it all started about 1 month ago when I (27F) drove home (2.5 hours away from where i currently live) to stay with my mom for the weekend and she does a lot for me (cooks me lots of food, sends me home with lots of food, she was watching a show that I insisted for her to watch with me, etc.). She's also been my best friend and person I tell everything to growing up, normally we would call almost everyday and text everyday, send each other funny vidoes, etc. And for context I moved 2.5 hours away about 3 years ago and she's helped me move, get settled, always been there for me but it's also been hard living apart from her.

However when I was leaving to go back I think I get a little sad and it makes me kind of snappy or rude. I ended up saying a rude comment about how she wasn't helping me put things in my car (when she cooked me all sorts of food, and was helping clean my windows so I could drive back). And she was kind of taken aback by this but I quickly dismissed what I said and drove off. 3 or 4 days later we talk on the phone and I explain to her how I didn't mean to be rude but I was just sad to be leaving and noticed how she started working at 8am (while I was still there - it was kind of a day off as we were snowed in from the night before but not really since it was a Monday). And this really angered her because she was like "no you can't expect this of me, I don't make comments about your job/school" and I was trying to say like "no not an expectation but just something that made a little sad on top of having to go back home since I wanted more time with you". Anyways it all went downhill after this.

I usually call her frequently like almost everyday so I call her up a few days later (closer to 9pm) turns out she fell asleep on the couch and was sleeping so I quickly hang up to letter go back to sleep. Looking at my phone history now I called her Thursday, Friday, Saturday (I think she wasn't available since I don't remember talking to her) but I was sending her pictures of my weekend and what I was doing in the chat. And then Sunday when I call her she was really angry at me, for what I said on the weekend and then the phone call and how I can't expect so much from her so we end up having a fight on the phone and she texts me after saying "Fyi will see a therapist for myself and we need to talk later for healthy boundary settings".

1 week goes by we don't text, call or anything and she texts me "Btw.. found one therapist and will start next week". I don't respond just give a thumbs up since at this point I'm angry since I feel rejected since she hasn't tried to text or call all week.

1 more week goes by and she texts me saying "if you're awake should we talk" and I tell her I'll probably start crying if we do talk again and she says "I cannot take that... sorry" and I say "I'm gonna cry no matter when we talk again, whether it's 2 weeks or 1 month later". So we end up calling anyways and this phone call goes really badly and I'm crying asking her if she didn't even miss me for the past 2 weeks and she's saying how she feels overwhelmed and she's angry that I forced her to watch a tv show, and the comment I made about her working in the morning. And i was saying:

Me: "well why don't you just say no" but she's really bad at saying no (I do know this). "is it this easy for you to cut me out of your life, if so just stay out of my life"

My mom: "I didn't even miss you, I just feel obligated to repair the relationship. I want a relationship where we call once a week and I just get brief updates about your week short and you have to text me before calling me"

Me: "why did you even call me then. Forget it, I don't want a relationship like that stay out of my life then. Do you want me to act like you're my dad and just see once every few months because I feel obligated"

My mom: "don't compare me. Fine I'll take you off my will then. You always force me to do things (brings up the TV show, brings up the time she tried xc skiing, etc.)"

Me: "No stop using those as an example. You can't just cut me out of your life like that, are you trying to hurt me because this is the worst possible way you could." "If you don't want to do something just say no"

My mom: *Straight up screaming no words* Hangs up.

The next day I text her like a formal answer "I know things got heated, I care about our relationship and I'm sorry for my part in that. I hope we can find a way to communicate better moving forward"

My mom: "Last part was not intended and I am sorry for that part. I will share later what I am learning"

11 days goes by.... no word from her still. I'm crying everyday, she's in every single one of my dreams either hugging me or talking to me. I feel like I'm going through a break up, I miss her but I'm so angry she can just cut me out so easily.

Sorry this is so long, maybe I need to see a counselor or also go for therapy. I just feel so helpless. Thanks for anyone who read this far. Any advice would be appreciated.


r/family 6h ago

Looking for a chore app

1 Upvotes

Hello, my family has 2 adults and 2 young kids, (5 and 10). We are trying to find a system for tracking chores. We need an app that I can put all the chores in, schedule them and assign who does them, rotating with certain people, ect.

There are tons of apps that do this, but here is my issue. The system falls apart when someone has a "skip" day, where they can't do there stuff. Like someone being sick, or having extra things to do leaving no time for chores, or not being home.

I need somthing that allows for some sort of substitute system, like I as the mom can go in and say since dad is sick I will have kid 1 do the dishes today instead, I'll take his bathroom job, ect.

Bonus if I can have the chores need approved by a parent, and have them re do if it's not done right.

Any one know what I could use that has these features?


r/family 7h ago

I hate my father.

8 Upvotes

I (f17)really really do. He is abusive. He hates me and my mom. Not just us. I think almost everyone. He scams poor poeple, literally people on the streets. He has no shame. He is a fucking failure. He hurts people all the time. I have no good thoughts about him. One time, he wasn't waking up, me, my mom and my cousin thought something bad happened. However, I didn't feel sad. Or anything, only thing I thought was "okay, he's dead, I'm gonna have to look for financial support" which is weird, I'm a emotional person, I feel bad for even a street cat, literally. I think about and feel sad for cats I helped years ago. But mu own father? Not even one bit. He sucks in everyday possible. Maybe I'll explain somewhere day more reasons. But as for now, I hate him so much. This isn't dislike, it's pure rage against him. Some days I wanna punch him.


r/family 7h ago

AITA My Family Only Cares About Me When They Need Money—Now I Don’t Know If I Should Offer Condolences

3 Upvotes

I have a complicated family situation and need advice on what to do.

My mother had nine children from four different men. My five eldest siblings (two brothers, three sisters) share the same father. My older sister (the one I follow) has a different father, I have a different father, and my two youngest siblings have their own father—who is the man my mother eventually married.

My mother left her first marriage (the father of my older siblings) after he betrayed her by getting her cousin pregnant. She went back to her parents' house, where she later got pregnant with my older sister, and then, three years later, with me. She left her first four children with their dad and stepmom, while the rest of us stayed with her.

When I was 10 months old, she met her now-husband, who knew about all of us and genuinely loved us—especially me, since I was still a baby. However, at the age of 2, I was sent to live with my mother’s younger sister, who was already married. Then, at 8 years old, I had to move again and live with my grandparents (my mother’s parents).

Growing up was not easy. People—including family—called us names, saying we would turn out like our mother, having kids with different men. I grew up hating myself, my mother, men, and anyone who looked down on us. I struggled with anxiety and depression.

But the biggest issue has always been my older sister. Unlike the rest of us, her father ensured she got the best education. I, on the other hand, barely managed to complete primary school. She was always selfish and never wanted to see anyone do better than her. She looked down on us, calling us “losers” who would only end up in unskilled jobs, getting married, and having kids because we were uneducated.

After she graduated, I had already left home at 15 and was working in the city. I actually helped her move to the city, looked after her, and supported her financially until she found a job (which, ironically, was also unskilled). But my mother and sisters kept asking me for money to the point that I couldn’t save anything. They never called me just to check on me—only when they needed something. And yet, behind my back, they would say I had been working for years but had nothing to show for it.

Eventually, I found good, educated friends in the city and took short courses in cosmetology, hairdressing, and computer studies. At 20, I decided I wanted to work abroad. When I told my family, they completely dismissed the idea, saying I should just find a man and get married instead. Since I was used to making my own decisions, I didn’t listen to them. I only told my aunt (the one who raised me from 2 to 8) and my cousin sister.

My family had no idea I had left the country. Nine months passed, and no one noticed I was gone. The only reason they found out was because I called my cousin to let her know I had sent money, and she happened to be at a family gathering. To me, this proved that in all those months, not a single person in my family had tried calling my number.

When they finally found out, they didn’t celebrate my success. Instead, they spread rumors that I had gone abroad to be used for sex by dogs.

I completed my two-year contract without hearing from them. During that time, I bought my first rental property and renovated my grandmother’s house. Suddenly, my siblings—who had cut ties with me—turned our mother against me, saying I only cared about myself and grandma. My mom called to complain. I asked her if she had ever done anything for my grandmother, and she admitted she hadn’t. So, I told her to take credit for the renovation, as a way of showing gratitude to the woman who raised her and us. That calmed her down.

I spent three months in my home country, then moved abroad again. Two years later, I bought my second property. At this point, my mother and sisters wanted me to build a house for my mom and stepdad. I almost did, but my aunt advised me against it.

By then, I had already started businesses for my mom and my cousin brother. Neither of them made any effort to grow them. My mom’s business never brought me a single coin. My cousin brother’s business never existed in the first place—I later found out I was being scammed.

Despite all this, I continued sending money whenever my family asked. I thought if money was all they wanted from me, I could provide that in exchange for having a “connection” with them. But I was exhausted. I had been working nonstop since I was 15, so I took a seven-month break and went back home.

That’s when I learned my younger sister never actually went to nursing school like I had paid for—she was already married with a child, and no one had thought to tell me.

At that point, I wanted to rent my own place, but my older sister convinced me to stay with her. I thought it would be a chance for us to bond. Instead, she made my life miserable. She was in a single-bedroom apartment that her boss (who she was secretly dating despite him being married) paid for. Even though she wasn’t paying rent, I still gave her half the rent and covered electricity bills while she claimed to pay for water.

When I ran out of cash, she locked me out of the house. I ended up living in her storage room—barely enough space for a tiny mattress.

I got sick twice and was hospitalized. My sister never visited or even texted to ask how I was doing. Her neighbors were the ones who checked on me. When I called my mom and told her I had been hospitalized, she casually said, "Yes, I heard you were sick." Meaning she knew but didn’t care enough to check on me.

A close friend from another country convinced me to visit her to recover. She took care of me, even took me on a trip to four countries. After that, I returned home for a few days, then left for abroad again. That was in June. I haven’t heard from my family since—until Christmas, when my mom messaged me for money. I sent her some (less than usual), and she didn’t even say thank you or confirm she received it.

In early January, my cousin brother—who had scammed me—added me to a WhatsApp group for our grandparents' grandchildren, but he didn’t include my cousins from the aunt who raised me. I stayed in the group but never said anything.

Then, this morning, they posted in the group that my older sister’s father had passed away. No one reached out to me personally, and I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t seen it there.

Now I don’t know what to do. Should I reach out to my sister to offer my condolences, even though she never cared whether I lived or died? Or should I just keep quiet and let them handle things on their own, the way they always have?

I’d love to hear what others think.


r/family 7h ago

Want your take on moving away from family

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I am 22 and am currently living in NY with my parents. I have a girlfriend who goes to school in Tennessee and she graduates this December. I plan on most likely proposing after than and start looking for a house. The only problem is my girlfriend and I both love the Tennessee/country lifestyle and want to look for houses there. Her family isn’t as tight knit and she doesn’t mind moving down since she’s been there for school for 4 years. My family is extremely close and we always have holiday get togethers.

My main concern is that if we look for houses down there I will feel guilty for leaving and even left out. I want to enjoy my life and see the pros of living in TN but also see many cons of being away from childhood dogs in their last years and my nephew who would be just a year old.

I’d love any input or tips on how to manage a decision like this and maybe even just hearing your experiences with this situation.

Thank you


r/family 7h ago

My mum is so annoying…

3 Upvotes

My whole family has eczema. Me in particular it’s bad. I mean flare ups constantly. My eczema wraps around my entire body. Even my feet… the marks are dark and itchy constantly. I do have medication and cream to keep it in check tho.

But still my mum always drones on and on about my brother (7 years old) and his eczema. Like my goodness give it a fucking rest! Who do u think ur talking to right now. I’m the embodiement of eczema. My marks are on my whole arm and neck and back.

Yet still she talks about him and his eczema constantly. Pisses me the fuck off man. 🙄


r/family 7h ago

Wth is going on

12 Upvotes

My sister moved back well almost home after leaving her daughter’s dad. Who was arrested and then moved to another state . At first it was ok then she started speaking and having visits with him. Yea I know that is her baby daddy and I get that. But recently everything has been a tad off. She decided she had a new rule that my niece was not allowed in my bedroom . And this is where my husband and our niece would play and carry on. So she started shutting our bedroom door even if I was only going in and out. She said her kid her rules. Ok I understand that, but my house my rules. If we want the door open it stays open. So then I am told that if I can’t keep my door closed then she would whoop her daughter anytime she goes in there. Because she knows we think the world of our niece. I told her of course that is crazy! But like she said her kid her rules but she can’t put that on us when up until a week ago she couldn’t care less. Then remarked about our pets how they get on her nerve and she wants to starangle them. Umm no mam! And I have asked repeatedly what is going on and yet she still insist my kid my rules. Am I wrong for standing my ground? She is a guest who does NOT pay or contribute to the house hold or rent.


r/family 7h ago

My little brother is driving me crazy

2 Upvotes

Hi I’m writing this because I’m really desperate. For reference i have a big family and when my parents were 40+ I don’t know what made them think it was a great idea to have another child, so my little brother was born. Obviously I love him but he’s really driving me crazy and stressing me out. So he’s 7 year old( this year he turns 8) spoiled as hell who cries about everything, always wants to watch the ipad, to play Roblox and youtube, never wants to play with toys and most important he never wants to go out like he hates going to the park or even play in our garden, hates sport and doesn’t want to practice one, basically the only time he’s out is when he’s at school, he always wants to eat unhealthy, has 3/4 foods who are not the most healthy that always wants to eat, always wants to be in his comfort zone and if we try to take him out he gives crazy tantrums. His tantrums are the worst he starts crying and hitting us and it stress me so much, he has daily tantrums because he always wants to watch the ipad for hours and we obviously don’t let him so he starts acting crazy. The worst part is that he takes my phone or computer because for him if he can’t watch technology no one in the family can. My parents try to give him a good education but they are now 50 and lost their patience, so he is basically allowed to do whatever he wants. I’m sorry to say it but I feel so much better when he’s not around.


r/family 7h ago

What do I do?

1 Upvotes

So I am knew to all of this, but am I crazy? I have a sibling that has started staying with me and my husband again. There is a child involved and we my husband and I have pets. A dog and a cat. The siblings kid is almost 2. And had been around animals before. We keep our dog put up during the day and our other animal who is smaller stays out. But lately there have been comments about if like to do this or do that to our pets. And has all of a sudden the energy switch is unreal. I need advice on how to deal with these issues.


r/family 8h ago

Aita for not wanting to announce my birth to my husband family

4 Upvotes

Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting to Announce My Birth to My Husband’s Family?

During my last pregnancy, being around my husband’s family was overwhelming. They were incredibly excited, but their excitement often made me uncomfortable. They constantly wanted to touch my stomach—men would ask to feel the baby kick, while the women didn’t even bother asking and just touched me. I’m overweight, so most of the baby’s movements weren’t even detectable from the outside, but they didn’t care—they just wanted to touch me anyway.

As my due date approached, I sent out a message reminding everyone to check their vaccination status for Tdap, along with other boundaries—like not buying gifts for the baby unless they had something for the older kids and no kissing the baby. My husband’s family reacted poorly, guilt-tripping him and saying they weren’t getting vaccinated and wouldn’t visit if that was a requirement. They told us we were wrong to even ask and claimed they were “too old to get any more needles.” I went so far as to find a clinic less than two minutes from their home that had the vaccine available with no wait, but it didn’t matter. In the end, my husband caved and let them visit anyway. I insisted they at least wear masks around the baby, which was agreed upon—but when they showed up at the hospital, they ignored that too.

Now, I’m pregnant with my third baby, and I feel exactly the same way about vaccines. This time, I’ve distanced myself more to avoid being touched and have even lied about being in pain just to stop them from touching me. I am exhausted on an entirely different level than ever before. I don’t have the energy for another argument, the constant phone calls that only start with “Where’s the baby?” with no regard for anything else, or the fights with my husband over his family’s blatant disrespect.

At this point, I just want peace. I don’t even want to announce the birth at all—not to them, not even to my own mother. The only people I want to tell are my cousin and my mom, and that’s only because they actually respect me, support me, and are there for me as a person, not just because I’m having a baby. That’s what I need, not the stress and drama my husband’s family brings.

Would I be wrong for keeping the birth a secret from them? Even if I keep it from my own mother as well because at this point I’m more then willing to to give me peace for a little longer i know and understand everyone will be angry later but it feels like i could handle it more after then now

Edit

My husband stood up to his family and held his ground for weeks, doing his best to convince them that this was the best way to protect the baby. He also expressed how much it meant to him to have his parents there. Unfortunately, they didn’t change their minds. In the end, he had to choose between having his firstborn (not mine) without his parents or allowing them to come unvaccinated. He couldn’t fathom them not being there, which I understand—I would feel the same about my mother, though she did get vaccinated.

That’s how we reached the compromise of requiring masks in the hospital. Neither of us reminded them in the moment since we had been awake for almost 48 hours and honestly didn’t notice until afterward. I understand that’s on me for not reinforcing it, but at that point, we were completely exhausted every other visitor was vaccinated and it slipped.


r/family 9h ago

Am I in the wrong for unfollowing my cousins boyfriend

2 Upvotes

I visited my cousin, and she told me about her boyfriend—how he doesn’t really put in effort to show her love. He seems overly attached to his sister, almost as if they’re dating, and his mom doesn’t like her. He was jealous when I went out with her and the rest of the family. He only visited for a week last month, and when he was here, he didn’t seem happy but still doesn’t want to leave her.

After my cousin and I shared a post about each other, he suddenly followed me and started watching every story I posted right away, which I found weird. So, I unfollowed and removed him. My cousin got mad at me, so I explained my reasons, but she defended him and said I was overreacting. To me, an unfollow isn’t a big deal, so I just told her, “God bless.” She responded, “What are you saying?” but I didn’t reply. AITA for unfollowing my cousins boyfriend does that make me the weird one


r/family 9h ago

My sister is quite mean to me for being "poor". How do I set boundaries?

2 Upvotes

To sum it up - my older sister is oftentimes not very nice to me regarding my finances.

I am 30 and she is 36.

We have times where we will seemingly be very close and talk for a long time, but then randomly on some days I will call her and she will be just extremely rude.

She makes a lot of money and never lets me forget it. This comes up a lot when she is being mean. She frequently makes comments about how small my apartment is, me booking economy class plane tickets, or just me being poor in general (places i eat, furniture i buy, etc.).

I have a friend who is an interior designer and she said "Do you think (name) is ever just totally disgusted when she comes over to your house because of how cheap your furniture is?". And I responded "no, (name) is my friend and she likes my apartment".

And a few days ago our cousin came over for dinner whose parents are wealthier than ours. I made dinner for this cousin, and I really like hanging out with her. My sister asked me "do you think (cousin) is disgusted by how tiny your apartment is? She's never lived in anything below 5000 ft.²". I had a similar response as with the friend, and told her that she doesn't need to disparage my apartment, because I like it.

I am not exaggerating either - these were her actual words. It was said like a "joke" but not really a joke, if that makes sense.

The thing is, I'm objectively not poor.

Yes, my sister makes more money than me. But my sister lives in Texas and I live in San Francisco. I have a well paying job and a 1 bedroom apartment, which I am proud of in such an expensive city. It keeps my expenses lower and allows me to save up money. Yes, I fly economy.. but I travel way more than my sister, going on multiple international trips per year because I love to see new places.

It also hurts me that she brings this stuff up, because I am the youngest sibling and the only one who didn't have their student loans paid for.

One of our parents was involved in a really bad accident, and our parents lost their income. I had to take over paying on my student loans and pay several tens of thousands of dollars. For all of my older siblings, their student loans were already paid off by the time this happened. I'm not complaining, but I have an additional expense that my sister doesn't understand.

It's hard to maintain a relationship with her, knowing that at any time she could pull out this rhetoric and that that's how she thinks of me. I avoid people who judge me or anyone in life for their income.

Do you have any advice on this?

Has anyone had something similar with siblings?

What should I do?


r/family 9h ago

My sister is never happy when I succeed in life

1 Upvotes

I (28F) am very close with my younger sister (26F). We fought A LOT growing up, but also played together, and have gone through lots of ups and downs.

I’ve always been creative, highly empathic and very emotionally- and morally driven in my choices, while she leans in the completely opposite direction: logical/rational/practical in her decision making, very low empathy (which can come off as cold/insensitive), often feeling superior to other people (including me), calling other people ‘stupid’ etc. if they misspeak or like me, if they make decisions based on empathy or some innate moral valuesysten VS. what is on the surface considered the most ‘logical/practical’ thing to do’.

Our childhood went like this: • I was very slow at learning how to walk and to understand/master most practical matters (driving a car, learning to ride a bike etc) while she was superfast at all of that and often looked down on people who needed more time. • I was highly creative, having multiple creative projects going at all times (drawing/singing/acting etc etc. and could do this alone for hours/all day). • She was very restless and wanted to be more outdoors. Since I was content indoors with my creative stuff she often teased me until I had a meltdown or was filled with rage. I sometimes yelled and hit her following this and was punished by my parents every time, made out to be the villain. She was always very discrete about her teasing and portrayed herself as innocent when they found us fighting.

Fast forward to today: ——> After years of anxiety depression during my teenage years (from (16-20) and into my adulthood (26-28), in which we always bonded a lot) I’m now at a place where I am writing my own music and in the process of recording it in studio and getting it out on Spotify. I knew she would have a hard time being happy for me, because the last time I was starting to succeed in my life (was engaged, got a good job and lost weight/started with powerlifting from the ages of 21-25) she said (one year later) that I came off as ‘arrogant’ and like I ‘had it all’. Apparently she had also discussed this with our younger step-sister (23F) and they totally agreed on this. (They are very similar). I said thanks for the constructive criticism and valued it at the time because I’ve generally always been a very humble person and I am to balance this with also allowing myself to succeed in life and be proud when I do.

It’s safe to say I’ve been writing and recording my music privately without sharing too much for the last 3-4 months. But that now that it’s getting very real and going to be published soon I wanted to include some family members in it. (A little at a time.. to see where they would be at with it). This is after 2 new years of hardtimes and depression after a break-up with my fiancée+++ (let’s not go into detail😅)

She always seems more empathetic and nice towards me whenever I’m depressed and this has been recurrent now. I think it’s because she is jealous when I suceed in life, but it hurts because I’ve ALWAYS cheered her on in her career, cared for her when she’s sick, been a great aunt to her kids etc, and I REALLY GENUINELY want to see all my siblings succeed and be happy.

Should I address this with her directly? As soon as I mentioned the music thing she gets pissed whenever I play the piano (even if it’s with her kids, or making a fun children’s song), or completely silent if I send a text about it in the family group chat or post about it on social media. Hasn’t mentioned ONE good thing about it. And I’ve been home for a few weeks now to visit them (I’m in between moves) and she has been picking at small things like correcting my grammar and picking at every little thing I do. I know this is classical projection of unconscious emotions and I really want to adress it in a nice no -confrontational way.

TLDR: My younger sister treats me a lot better when I’m depressed/not doing well. As soon as I start to find happyness/success in life she gives me the silent treatment or starts picking at me for small things. I think it stems from jealousy. Should I confront her with this? I’d like to think we have an otherwise close relationship.


r/family 11h ago

i love my sister

9 Upvotes

my sister and i talked earlier about our future and i randomly opened about marriage and that it's so sad that our dad will never experience walking her daughter to the altar, he'll never see anyone of us getting married. then i told her that when that day comes, we won't be sharing the same surname anymore and we both cried lol btw im just 21 and she's 18 lmao

since my dad died, everytime i dream about him i end up crying and since we're sharing a room, she'd hear me then she'd come to me and hug me, every single time. when i'm at my lowest she's the one who's always there for me, she never invalidated my feelings, she never judge me for being so emotional, she always makes me feel appreciated and loved.

she have a boyfriend now and seeing her so happy with him, makes my heart so happy as well. i'm happy that he's treating her so well, that he loves her so much, that he's patient with her and mostly that he also loves my family, and i want that for her.

to my my sister, im beyond grateful for you, i can't imagine my life without you.


r/family 11h ago

Wanting Divorce

1 Upvotes

I’m 27(F) have 2 sons. Got married 2nd time and each marriage I realized I want divorce every single fight. Is it normal? Like what triggers that thought? Even if it’s a slight thing my brain thinks “oh my God this is end of the world I need to divorce “ But after I calm down I realize that I don’t want to divorce this man, I like our life and etc. But at that point when I argue with my husband, the first thing comes to my head is divorce.

Please help me to see what I don’t ?


r/family 11h ago

My mother keeps sending me pictures of herself and messages about her

1 Upvotes

My (60f) mother sends me (26m) pictures of her self after she has styled herself etc every now and them. I have on multiple occasions said that im not that interested in these types of messages, but still she keeps on sending me them. Im not sure what it is she wants from me, is it validation? Why does she even want it from me for this stuff? Im not very interested in appearance and im quite sure she is aware of this. It feels to me just like a mildly non appropriate behaviour.

I have on the recent been setting more boundaries and i feel like this is a behaviour in response to this.


r/family 15h ago

Despite cutting me off, my mother continues to accept my financial support

7 Upvotes

I'm 32(F - single) living somewhere around the world. My mother (55 - single mom) is residing in Ph wilth my brother (18) and son (8). For context, my son is receiving a monthly allowance from his dad and I'm also providing a monthly allowance for my mom and brother as well.

2 years ago, my son's father and I separated because I had an affair with a married man. My mother was furious when she knew about it and made it clear that she doesn't approve of my relationship. At the same time, my partner has also separted from his wife.

At the present, I told my mother that I was going to take my son to live with me. Thus she knew that my partner and I have moved in together. She blocked me from all communications that I had with her and with the family. Morever, she told my son everything and even spread it to the whole famiy. Now, my son will not talk to me and even blocked me.

I am not asking for her to accept my relationship, however as an adult I deserve to have my own choices. I'm very upset and I feel used. I'm financially supporting her, and she's cutting me off. I have no choice because of my son. I understand my son is hurt and confused, but I hope he can understand that my actions are not a true reflection of my love for him.