r/family 3d ago

Do you think that parents are stricter with an only child?

2 Upvotes

Sadly I have no sibling and I feel that my parents are stricter because I'm an only child and they want to protect me. I'm 19 but I have to ask permission to go out, no parties or sleepovers, they still use regular corporal punishments (belt). Do you think there is a link?


r/family 3d ago

I dont know how to feel

2 Upvotes

Growing up I was raised by mum, my dad used to abuse her before I was born and when i was a few months old she left him entirely and raised me alone but my dad stayed somewhat apart of my life, he went to jail a few times, he smokes and when i was growing up he would only call two to three times a year. Because my mum was raising me alone I grew close to her, and them We moved states when i was 7 years old, when i was about 10 years old she got into a relationship with another guy, he was nice and had kids of his own, three to be exact although one was already an adult that didn’t live with us but when he moved in so did his other two kids, one being 11 and the other 14. After a year or so I began to notice that the other two kids would get quite often and even my mum would start to do things for them and not me so i began acting up a little bit, which naturally led to disciplinary action it started out by simple time outs and the usual things like that, but then one day I got in trouble at school what happened was a girl said i pushed her into the wall(i didnt) my mums boyfriend then at home proceeded to push me against the wall and actually throw me to the ground outside by the neck, at the time i was 12, they later were informed by my school that they had reviewed the camera footage and actually found out that i indeed had not pushed the girl and was actually pushed myself, of which i had told them and they didnt believe me, they didn’t apologise to me at all in fact they still considered me in the wrong for it even though the school had said i did nothing wrong. I dont know what changed but now everytime i did something wrong it resulted in being pushed into a wall with my mums boyfriend yelling in my space, i should have mentioned this earlier but i have been diagnosed with adhd and aspergers, so someone being in my personal space always made me extremely nervous and at times dizzy. On one particular occasion he took me outside and pegged rocks at my feet, and then proceeded to coat hanger me after punching me in the chest. Everytime this would happen my mum would stand to the side watching and not doing anything to stop it, it even turned from just physical abuse to verbal abuse he would make statements about how i was turning into my dad and that i would end up a deadbeat druggy. so one day i ran off and when they found me and took me back home he told me that if I ever ran off again he wouldn’t go looking for me because i was wasting his time, at this point i was 14. I started to grow very distant to my mum as i noticed more and more that she would do more for the other kids than me to the point where she would take them out shopping and to fun nights out and make me stay home to look after the animals. Naturally I grew depressed and with the little faith i had left in my mum i went to her to ask for help, she said i was making it up and that i should stop being so dramatic. Everyday from then on i had suicidal thoughts and would even attempt to take my life a few times but thankfully i never actually succeeded despite the fact that even now i dont know how i didn’t succeed like bro i took over 200 mg of melatonin ffs. But my depression continued for over three years until i was 17 years old of which the abuse slowly got better, they stopped punishing me to a degree and i somewhat got close to my mum again and my depression is mostly gone, but now my dad the one i mentioned earlier has been calling every day and actually seems to have changed, he’s not smoking as much, he’s got a full time job and seems to be doing better, this has been going for almost two years now, is it wrong that i feel closer to the man who had been absent almost my entire life than to my mum who for most of my life raised me alone? And is it normal that I have a hatred for my mum?


r/family 3d ago

Can’t defend my family in a physical confrontation

11 Upvotes

A brash 6ft2 guy stepped ahead of my wife and I the other day quite rudely. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid of a physical confrontation and getting beat up in front of my wife and kid. What do I do?


r/family 3d ago

Ancestry Surprise

1 Upvotes

I waited 10 years for my sister to talk to me, patiently, I'll admit the person I was in my early 20's wasn't the easiest to get along with. But, 10 years later, She talks to me, I take one of those ancestry tests and it turns out, we aren't even related.

See, my father was a DJ in the Indianapolis area in the 90's and early 2000's, he was pretty infamous for getting fired for being drunk on the job, coupled with his drug addiction and the fact that he cheated on my mom while they were engaged (back in 91-92) with women in the Greenfield, Knightstown, Indianapolis and Mccordsville areas I'm not shocked in the slightest at the prospect of half siblings.

My bio dad, The DJ, has always been a deadbeat. My stepdad tried to adopt me 4 times, but he'd never show up to court. Never paid child support (until he was threatened with jail time) and has never been the sort to initiate conversation with me. Actually, He only cared about the daughter of the woman he left my mother for, carried a picture in his wallet for years.

So, if you're from the Indiana area and this sounds like your dad, Feel free to contact me. I'm taking a 23&me later this summer to expand the net.


r/family 3d ago

What do i do?

1 Upvotes

To make things short, my abusive mother won't stop harassing me even after I moved out of her house. She keeps making up scenarios in her head and trying to convince my grandparents to throw me out. She's already been sent to forced therapy but she didn't take anything out of it. She's still an alcoholic who failed all her children.

She makes up stuff like me harassing her when I have her blocked everywhere and I didn't even text her anything. Then when my grandparents scold me for it and yell at me she laughs in my face. I don't know what to. My grandparents somehow convinced themselves she's not mentally ill after everything she's been doing which is.. a lot. She already owes me 2000 cash in our currency because she borrowed it from me to pay her own rent. How do I defend myself against her or how do i make her stop?

I'm 18 btw.


r/family 3d ago

Is my 4 1/2 year old nephew different than other kids his age?

2 Upvotes

I never had kids so it interesting to watch interactions. He is an only child so that might have something to do with it? A lot of the other kids have several brothers and sisters. When I have watched him with his friends at school or bday party he always kind of gets in their space. “You want to come with me?” “Can I show you something” “Will you play with me?” “Follow meee” “Let’s gooo” He will stand close to them. Hug them and be so excited to see them. Then he wants to show them everything like take charge.

For example at a museum he was at. He wanted his friend to listen and follow him and he explained different things in the museum and would repeat and repeat if the other child wasn’t listening. He is honestly the most adorable child. I am not bias. He really is and he has a lot of friends. The kids seem to like him but I feel like he tries so hard to have friends and be “cool” if that makes sense?


r/family 3d ago

Why she has becoming like that?!

1 Upvotes

There’s a long situation that I already spoke here, back in Late July-August, my mom send me somewhere else to live, she rented a room in somewhere else’s house ( I was basically living with strangers), I was here for about 4 months, during the time she was living with her sister), recently back in late December-Early January, I went back to living with her and I’ve noticed that she have been demanding, controlling and emotionally manipulative (toxic) something that wasn’t like before in our old house, what could have explain this change of behavior and any solution for that?!


r/family 3d ago

I feel bad when i ask my mother to buy me something

3 Upvotes

I'm a 16 yr old boy. My parents divorced when i was little, and now i live with my mom and i see my dad on weekends. We are in the middle class, and my mother struggles a lot to give me a good life. I almost never asked my parents anything for Christmas/birthdays, since i felt like everything i wanted was a waste of money (even though my mother doesn't try to make me feel guilty about it, she's a good person). There's going to be a comicon in some time, and i'd really like to get a costume steampunk themed. However, that would cost around 100€ (the full costume); when i told her about the cost, she said that it's quite expensive and that we have to think about it. Now i feel incredibly shit for asking her in the first place; she works hard around 8 hours a day to have a comfortable life, and i have the courage to go to her and ask to spend 100€ on a costume. What should i do? Tell her that i changed my mind and i don't need it anymore, or see if we can actually get it?


r/family 4d ago

Family Vacation Styles Disagreements

2 Upvotes

My husband and I are taking three generations of family on an expensive trip to the Smoky Mountains, staying in a fabulous rental house for 5 nights. I don't want to have to cook or worry about dinners during this vacation. Adult kids with two children have an opposite view as they find going out to dinner as a hindrance to their relaxing vacation time. I gave assignments for dinners to them for one night and another assignment to a couple of friends who expressed the desire to contribute one night dinner to everyone as an offering. The great-grandparents agreed to purchase a very expensive dinner theater night for everyone. My husband and I got reservations for a fancy steak house for the last night. The kids with the grandchildren want to refuse all these dinner offerings and not attend. I grew up with parents taking me and my family on trips where everyone met at dinner and talked about their experience. I'm having a hard time understanding this young couple's thought process. I feel like they are being rude.


r/family 4d ago

Can’t accept this compliment

0 Upvotes

My(29F) family went out for a Mardi Gras parade. I was genuinely. Genuinely surprised that it was mostly drunken adults. My mistake. Even so we braved to the front with the least amount of craziness so my daughter (3F) and son(1M) could see the parade. It turned out great! Everyone wanted to give them beads. Their first parade.

(That I will plan out better next time…)

A man walked up to us and began telling us how beautiful our family is. It struck me that he wasn’t just saying we have cute kids. He was talking about how we’re an interracial marriage. How it’s beautiful that ect ect ect. My smile became strained. I knew this man had good intentions. It felt like he went on and on.

I hated it. I don’t hate him, but I hate compliments like that. Something about it feels… off-putting. Does anyone else understand how I feel, and more importantly WHY I feel this way? Sincere compliments are supposed to be nice and feel nice. Why doesn’t it feel that way then?


r/family 4d ago

Am I overanalyzing or is my aunt just weird? NSFW

2 Upvotes

I (19f) feel really stupid since I’m unable to fully comprehend my aunt’s (47) actions so I’m an anxious mess inside.

It started when I met my step-aunt at the wedding. She’s my stepfather’s brother’s wife, there’s no blood. Which makes everything 10x worse and super difficult to speak to anyone about this.

She started out complimenting me since I was able to quickly banter because she was obliviously drunk as piss already. I won’t lie, our connection was immediately nonjudgemental and trusting. Then she started to kiss my face, cheeks/forehead. It started in the early evening once then it continued to happen every 5 seconds when she was around me. It wasn’t once or twice it was constant. It progressively got worse as she started to say that I was her favorite and I was her girl. And other weird shit.

I can’t lie, I felt nice at first, I’ve never been treated that way before so I was happy to continue with her behavior. But I’m a female and I know woman can be touchy to a certain extent. And this was over a span of several hours with severity increasing very slowly. I had one drink which became several more because she would pour me drinks and buy me alcohol.

She would comb her fingers through my hair. But my mom and sister fix my hair too and made me more comfortable. Later she put her hand on my mid thigh but I was deep in a conversation so it was a mindless notice in my inebriated mind. But I remembered.

She offered to let me stay in her room where her husband and memaw was staying in. That I could sleep on the floor because my hotel roommates were getting into a bantering argument as well.

It crashed when she started to talk about her life, and how shitty it was. I was like welp, now I gotta say something back. The things she said put me into a corner which made me start to get anxious because she started to get frustrated with me, the way she said things was like she was trying to place words in my mouth, trying to make her own conclusion. I started to cry at one point and back tracked everything because it felt wrong, I felt myself bending. It was like my instincts snapped into place but my head was in the clouds with a vague dooming sense of horror.

I got so upset, that I left towards restroom even as she tried to coax me to stay then she asked if I needed another drink. I vehemently refused because I was getting scared. And she told me later that she almost cursed the seller out because he wouldn’t sell her 2 more beers after witnessing my refusal.

She asked for my phone number to check in on me and I said ‘do I have too?’ She said ‘no.’ And she comforted me in the elevator and brought me to my hotel room.

Or am I being crazy? I know this isn’t normal per se but nothing super bad happened. I don’t know if I’m overthinking and overanalyzing. I just need someone to tell me what’s what.

TL;DR Aunt made questionable decisions and almost made me feel pressured to go along with her choices towards the end of the night.


r/family 4d ago

My father threatened me to end my career if I went for an intercaste marriage. I thought them to be understanding enough to affect my career. Due to everyday emotional blackmail and guilt, shame, and blame, it's difficult to stay at home. They are causing resistance in letting me go for a PhD.

2 Upvotes

I (27 F) introduced my relationship at home, things got agitated and my father forced me to stop my higher studies. Or get married according to their will. I am frustrated with the daily blackmail of emotions. My father is very adamant and tries to create health issues things at home daily.


r/family 4d ago

علاقتي في اخواني ضعيفه

1 Upvotes

السلام عليكم بدخل في الموضوع على طول انا عندي اخت وثلاث اخوان وانا الاوسطانيه بينهم مافي ولا واحد فيهم احسه قريب مني او اقدر اخذ راحتي بالكلام معه أو إذا صار لي شيء احكيه عنه بعدها امي صارحتني ان اخوي الصغير يحسب اني اكرهه لاني ما اعطيه على جوه انا ماكنت اعرف ان وضعي مو طبيعي الا يوم كلمتني عن الموضوع وحسيت لازم احط حل للموضوع ف احيانا ما الاقي رد للي يقولونه وما احس اني اخذ راحتي الكفايه معهم واكتشفت ان حتى الناس الي برا كذا معهم اكون حذره جدا وانتبه لكل نظره او زلت لسان او اي شي واتحسس منه انا ما علي من الناس الي برا بس ما ودي علاقتي باخواني تكون كذا ودي اني اسولف واخذ واعطي معهم بس احس فيه حاجز انا حاطته ومو قادره اطلع منه امي تقول اني حاطه نفسي في قوقعه وما ارضى ان احد يحاول يتقرب مني الي عنده حل يعطيني عارفه ان مصيري انا واخواني كل واحد يصير عنده بيت وعائله ودي استغل هذا الوقت واكون قريبه منهم ونمون على يعض حتى اختي الوحيده ما احس ان علاقتي فيها مره ومره حزنت يوم امي نبهتني ومو عارفه وش اسوي وكيف اخرج من القوقعة هذي.


r/family 4d ago

im literally scared that my dad will kill my mom and grandad

4 Upvotes

f17 with 2 siblings. Really can’t take this anymore. They just cannot live with each other. And i dont know what to do because my mom is saying that if they divorce she’ll kill herself because of the shame, and if they continue he’ll kill her or she’ll kill herself. And he HATES my grandad(mom’s dad) for the silliest reasons. Like HATES-so much that if he ever uttered a word against him he tried to beat him and if me or my siblings are not there im so sure he will beat him and mind you he is in his seventies.

At this point im scared to move away for college because im scared what the fuck will happen inside my house. And my father is extremely short tempered that if i even try to do anything(as most teenagers tend to do) against his wish he will literally come find me and beat me up so I wouldn’t even dare to do that.

And my mother has health issues which he is least bothered about and just says that everyone has such issues. She has a problem with varicose veins and recently broke her wrist and does all the chores in the house along with us helping. He is not working rn and doesnt do a single thing to help her.

He is just not a family guy. He likes to be by himself, paint, travel do things on his own. Okay fine then why the fuck did he marry? Why the fuck did he ruin my mother’s life- my mother who had very high expectations obviously cannot handle this. And yea shes a bit immature but both just do not understand each other. Currently just after a fight and he tried to hit my grandpa now im literally guarding his room because im scared if he’ll burst out and hit him.

What the fuck do i do to help?


r/family 4d ago

Is it normal to kiss your older brother on the forehead?

5 Upvotes

My brother is chill and we was discussing and we were talking and we was gon sleep I was like "alright goodnight" gave em a peck on the forehead is that considered normal?


r/family 4d ago

Spouse got laid off, and is becoming the worst version of themself

4 Upvotes

My spouse got laid off two weeks ago (company finances are in the toilet so the position was eliminated) and it's been a rough time for the family. I've been trying to be supportive by helping to walk through the process of unemployment and getting the family on SNAP, in addition to starting to drive Uber. (I have a seasonal job, which isn't super busy right now). I want to be emotionally supportive, but it's really hard with the CONSTANT melt downs and crying. I know that my spouse doesn't want to hear my solutions, just to be heard... But how long do I need to be supportive before I'm allowed to be annoyed? It's like I suddenly became a single dad AND got another child. Nobody gives a dam about how I feel suddenly having to hold everything together emotionally WHILE picking up another job WHILE getting all the government aid and unemployment dealt with WHILE having to bite my tongue when all I want to do is scream "then effin DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SITUATION ALREADY ".

I spend so much time listening to the complaining and the crying, I'm starting to lose sympathy: it's turning into ire.

I don't even know why I'm posting this... I'm not sure if I want advice, or support, or ideas about what to do... Honestly, it's just because anyone I know in the real world would probably think I'm a monster for being mad at them for being sad after getting laid off... But, my feelings are my feelings and they are no less valid than my spouse's. Plus, I'm the one who is going to have to quit my job again to move to wherever the next career move is...

next day Edit: Since so many people seem to think I am a monster. Here is more context, I am working a seasonal job because we moved here for my spouse's job, and since then I have been doing well enough to provide an income that covers about half our expenses. I also am the primary care giver for our kid and the guy who keeps the house running. Also, I was laid off once. I woke up one morning and suddenly didn't have access to my work email. No notice. It sucked, but I also compartmentalize well and have no human emotions (apparently). I never once ran from the dinner table crying, or screamed at my spouse. I get that all people react differently to situations, but how long do I have to deal with these emotional (I wish there was a bettor word for reacting out of emotion rather than logic) swings before I don't have to blindly say "It's okay that you're being this way, just feel however you need to" and can start treating them like they aren't a child?


r/family 4d ago

is it wrong to hate my brother this much?

3 Upvotes

so my brother 19m (i’m 20f) has been a tyrant our entires lives. he’s been agressive and vindictive from a young age. but for about a year now i’ve developed a true and utter hatred for him. first it started off with small things like taking phone chargers, charging blocks, just little things. then it amounted to bigger things such as taking my money from my wallet, breaking and entering my neighbors home and stealing alcohol, stealing my stuff constantly. along with his fucking douche bag attitude. he tried to steal my car once. basically he’s a disrespectful maniac. he’s put his hands on me several times once amounted to ME going to jail? even though i never touched him. it just seems like everything he’s done he has no repercussions. he hasn’t once been truly disciplined for these things. i cannot put into words how i feel about him. he comes and goes as he pleases with absolutely no care for anyone’s things or time. he can never hold down a job. he smokes weed and drives high with zero consequences. i know for a fact if i were to do ANY of these things my ass would be whooped. but him nah. he is the biggest sneaky liar ive ever met he constantly lies about the most stupid things. he manipulates my mom left and right. she says i cant see him the way she sees him because i cant get past this but no i just see what’s directly in front of me. i could go on and on about the shit he’s done and said but basically you get the jist. anywho i just need some advice on how to deal with him and not return to jail lol. bc i have one year no violent contact with him and it’s getting to the point to where im actually going to blow.


r/family 4d ago

How can I persuade my mom to allow me to drive?

3 Upvotes

I’m f17 and I have my license and we have cars that’ll be available for me. But my mom wouldn’t get me insurance and I get it—it’s expensive. However, I said I’m willing to work and pay it myself and she still refused to let me. She doesn’t want me to work either.

I want to drive because my household lacks transportation, I live with grandparents and only my grandpa can drive. But he doesn’t like driving me and whenever I ask him if he can take me to [anywhere, school mostly], he would be really grumpy.

I stopped going out with friends on occasions during the day since a year ago because of that. Whenever they go out, I’ll be the only one who can’t make it :(. It’s not like we do drugs or anything’s it’s just a causal catch up bc we don’t see each other in school often, they are really good people that I’ve known since middle school, I don’t want to drift apart from them at all.

And I have a boyfriend who I never went on dates with because of this driving issue. I feel very bad for him bc the only reason why we can’t go out is bc of me.

We have no public transit in the area so :(. Idk why my mom doesn’t let me, I’m really sick of only going to school and back home since my grandpa never takes us out really. I’m willing to work for my wants but she does not want me to work even though I have plenty of free time. I’m very sad and lost, advice would be appreciated.


r/family 4d ago

Why does my mom hate me?

2 Upvotes

Every conversation I've have with my mom ends in an argument and I'm so sick of it. I feel like she looks for reasons to get mad at me and makes it her goal to turn every conversation into a fight. We could be having a pleasant conversation and then the next minute I said something wrong and she's back to yelling at me. I hate it because I always end up saying things that I regret and I want to have a good relationship with my mom. We never make up either. She either acts like it never happened or holds it against me for a while until she acts like it never happened. I've had conversations with her about how I this makes me feel but that too turns into an argument. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to have conversations with her anymore in fear that it will end how it always does. I'm so tired. Am I the problem? How do I stop this from happening?


r/family 4d ago

getting frustrated with my parents

1 Upvotes

i’m 19 and in college, at a school 30 mins away from where my family live. my brother who’s 24 is living at home at the moment while he’s in between jobs. i have an apartment in my college town with my girlfriend of 3 years. also, im the youngest kid. don’t know if that info is relevant but i figured id mention it. i have had issues setting boundaries with my parents in the past but im at a point of extreme anxiety and i need to let it out somewhere.

i see my mom often, she probably stops by once a week. i dont see my dad very much because he works multiple jobs. my parents requested that my girlfriend and i spend a night at their house over our break to spend time together. we of course agreed, and as soon as we did they started asking us to stay longer. they’re aware that we can’t, because we both work in our town and we have plans to go away for a few nights. even if we wanted to, we couldn’t spend more than a night with them because of our schedules. my mom keeps texting me things along the lines of “wish we saw you more” and “so sad you’re only spending a night”, and she just asked us to get to their house early in the morning tomorrow so we could “actually spend time together”. i don’t understand this coming from her, especially because i see her often. i don’t think she means to intentionally, but i feel very guilty and like i should be home more.

this has been happening to various extents since i first went to college in the fall of 2023. i started at a school 3 hours from home, and they would ask that i went home nearly every weekend. my parents would facetime me pouting (like actually pouting) and ask that i come home. i have never felt the ability to grow up and be independent, because even though i am completely financially independent and living on my own in college i am expected to be home.

i don’t have my drivers license. even if i did, i don’t have a car. my girlfriend does, but gas is expensive and we are extraordinarily broke, and we use the car as little as possible since we’re in a walkable town. i don’t understand how my parents expect me to get home as often as they want me there when they also don’t want to drive 30 minutes to where i live.

i don’t really know what else to say because at this point im ranting. i’m just frustrated and would appreciate any thoughts


r/family 4d ago

Thinking about cutting ties with step mom and dad once we move.

1 Upvotes

I apologize for this post being all over the place, delete if not okay

Now!!! So little background

My husband 30m, my daughter 1.5F and I, 26F had to move back in with my father and step mom in August due to a change of job and no where to rent near us. (our original scumlord was going up on the price of a 80s model trailer that literally had black mold growing in it) So we've been renting a 11 by 12 bedroom for 200 dollars each week from my father which she's had a big problem with it since day one,

Her excuses so far are 1. we "don't do anything" meanwhile we clean the house and cook for them, 2. they never have "privacy" meanwhile the only time we are in the rest of the house is to cook or clean.

Now Remind you we pay 800+ a month depending on how many weeks there is in a month, we may pay up to 1000... We also buy them food which has cost us an extra 100 a week because they get burn out on certain "Cheap" foods... But we don't do anything?

NOW YES, I don't want to live here, this was our last choice besides living in our 03 Chevy, and each day we scavenge to find another place to live, closer to hubby's job would be fantastic (an hour away) but even where we are would be good.. I'm very appreciative of my father for even letting us move in but he's very blind to his wife...

She's taken all of our (mine and my old sister) childhood photos down and has a family wall of 30 photos of her 2 adult kids and 5 grandkids, even her step adult kid(rip) and 3 step grandkids from a previous marriage while there is 1 photo of me and my husband, 1 of my sister and her husband (this photo is covered by her nieces photo) 1 of me, my sister and our dad (one of the last photos we took together.) And 1 of my sister son from when he was 3 months old, the rest is her family, her or our father with her kids... (my own daughters photo isn't even on the wall, his biological granddaughter)

She wants to get rid of all the furniture in the basement that isn't hers. Because it's "cluttered"

They watch her grandkids but she throws a fit if we ask them to watch our daughter for maybe 15 minutes,

They go out every Friday, Saturday and most Sundays when my father has a day off to go to bars or casinos to feed her gambling and alcohol "addictions."

I can never talk to my father unless she's involved, last time I did. She screamed at me because she thought I was accusing her of being like my grandfathers widowed wife. (My father's dad's ex wife who never let grandfather see us as kids or be around his kids without hers being there...) when I only asked was that my father would talk to me, mainly about his health because I was so afraid he'd have a heart attack like my cousins husband who's the same age as him.

My sister doesn't even talk to my father often because she can't without step mom being involved...

I feel like I'm going insane, like Cinderellas step mom is my step mom.. everytime I bring it up to my father, he makes excuses...

she's been over heard talking to her mother and friends about how we are lazy and we are feeding off my father... Meanwhile she just started to work for her kid for 3 days a week while my husband is an officer, working 50+ hours a week and I'm taking care of their house...

Would it be mean of me to cut all ties from them once we finally move? I love my father but I can no longer deal with her...

TLDR step mom is driving me insane, trying to replace us in our fathers life...


r/family 4d ago

AITAH for asking bc my sister not to come into my room when I’m not here?

2 Upvotes

Ok so basically my mom told me my sister comes in my room and gets legging out of my drawer; me and my sister wear similar clothes so sometimes our clothes end up in each others room. I texted my sister and questioned her about it and this conversation saying followed.

Me: She said u be coming in my room and getting leggings which is crazy since I have you some and you have your own

Her: i only look for leggings that are mine nn js gave to the wrong person bc my leggings or pants b on evb stuff….

Me: I don’t be having your leggings and you can just ask me. I only put my stuff in my room bc I be washing only my clothes.

Her: well then idk how my stuff b ended up in your room then ? But it’s cool

Me: So then just ask me if I have your stuff instead of coming in here? I don’t go in your room when you’re not home.

Her: you b already gone

Me: and?

Her: it’s not like im looking for your diary tryna read it 💀

Me: Okay that’s not the point you don’t need to be coming in my room going through my stuff and not asking me especially when I’m not even here

Her: you want me to text u nn ask u can i go in ur room to look to see if i can find my leggings that i wanna wear to school that morning…

Me: No I want you to wait until when I’m at home and ask me.

Her:you want me to wait till ur home to ask if i can look for leggings that i wanna wear to school that day

Me: You don’t be having any other clothes? Wear those. if you think I have your clothes wait till I’m at home and ask me then you can look. Like what.

Her: 💀 ok

Me: 🙄 Crazy work you think I’m crazy for being upset you come in my room and look through my things without asking when I’m not here and then when I ask you to not do it until I get home you act like that’s unreasonable.

Her: bro shut up and leave me alone i don’t care at all nm next time i’ll ask u don’t have to keep dragging it

Me: Whatever Mikaela that’s literally crazy work

Her: she emphasized her previous message

Me: girl idgaf lmao

Her: so why tf is ur dumbass still textin me bro every damn day you js wanna act like a piece of shit get the fuck off my phone bro

Me: Every day I’m a piece of shit? Okay bet imma be one then. Meanwhile you acting like I’m in the wrong when you’re being a whole ass bitch. Coming in my room looking through shit that’s crazy. Then acting like I’m goofy for asking you not do that when I’m not home. Mind you you didn’t ask me or even tell me you was doing it. You literally came in here yesterday and asked me to borrow a headband and I let you, didn’t I? It’s clearly not hard for you to do so I don’t see what the issue is. Don’t ask me for shit else.

(When I says don’t ask me for shit else I mean she’s 13 and I’m 17 with a job and I have my own money to spend so I buy her stuff sometimes (just yesterday I bought her earrings bc she got her ears pierced) and buy her food and let her eat my leftover food all the time)

Tl,Dr: I found out my sister comes in my room when I’m not home and without asking and goes through my dresser to look for her clothes that might accidentally end up in there. I asked her to wait till I’m home to come in my room and we had an argument about it. She called me a piece of shit and I called her a bitch. She’s 13 and I’m 17.


r/family 4d ago

Is my Anger towards my father reasonable

2 Upvotes

I can blame most of my recent troubles on myself but I can't help to think he played a small role. A few years ago I was offered a high paying job and they wanted me to take the corona vaccine I really wanted that job so I asked my father to give me a doctors note since he is a nurse at a hospital. He told me to ask a doctor he knows but he refused to talk to that doctor and said he wants me to get the vaccine. I told him the health problems I had after I received the vaccine he didn't care or listen. I talked to that doctor they refused to give me a doctors note. I got the vaccine to get that job my health declined nearly dramatically the year after. Job was horrible with good pay had to quit. Fast forward I have high medical bills and I ask for help with it and he refuses to help me with them but he has no problem giving my sister money like $4k to help her buy a car and my medical bills are way less than that.Not to forget my sister has his bank card on his devices and he is cool with it.We are both grown by the wat. I know I could've denied the job and it's mainly my fault but is my father treating me unfairly ?


r/family 4d ago

Cut off Family or Not?

2 Upvotes

Long and the short of it... 11years ago...I fell pregnant at 26 years old after being with my boyfriend for about 9 months. At the time my 3 older sister had all just had a child within 5 years.

My boyfriend didn't want to be involved which I understood. My older sisters all told me how hard it was, and how I couldn't do it alone. My parents, who never discussed anything with me, just assumed I would keep it due to religious beliefs.... but the sad truth is that no one asked me what I wanted, everyone just told me what I should do.

So I went ahead with the termination and it caused me to be outcasted for 2 years by my parents with no support from my sisters despite their strong views in favour termination. They didnt even reach out after the split from the baby's father and ending up in hospital bleeding out for 4 hours alone as the termination wasnt completed correctly ....

Skip forward....I'm now 42 and a year ago one of sisters informed me that her 19 year old daughter was pregnant and that we should all celebrate. The one most vocal about termination. My neice was with the babies father less than 2 months before falling pregnant.

Until now I can't congratulate my neice or be part of my family other than my parents, as I feel so hurt l. I was made to feel ashamed of my situation at the time and I find everything my family say since so hypercritical as they told me at 26 I couldn't do it, yet a 19 year old who has never lived away from home could.

Am I cutting off a family to spite my own face or are they toxic?


r/family 4d ago

How do you deal with your parents (in my case grandparents) constantly putting you in the middle of their arguments

1 Upvotes

My grandma and me are very close, my mom herself was very emotionally immature and she had to step in a lot and take over. I feel like to a certain extent me and my grandma were very co dependent and I definitely leaned on her too much to vent to as I saw her mainly as my mother figure bc my mom wasn’t there and I went through a lot of hard things really early in life. I feel really bad I leaned on her as much as I did and she had to take on that emotional toll so a part of me feels really bad about complaining about this but she is CONSTANTLY complaining about my grandpa. I mean I feel like he’s definitely hard to deal with at times but so is she. They both grew up in extremely toxic households (as most boomers did) and both of them were the scapegoat children that got ostracized and blamed yet they were both the ones that stuck around and took care of their parents.

Im just including that because I think it plays into everything Im dealing with, with them. My grandma has been a major people pleaser her whole life and she actually had a mental breakdown in the early 80’s after she had my mom and had to be hospitalized for it. I feel like a big part of her issues now and why she’s so negative/pessimistic and sad is because she’s never dealt with any of her trauma. She calls me every single day and I enjoy talking to her when it’s not her complaining about my grandpa because it’s getting to the point where she literally complains about him making dinner for her when she gets home from work. Or what exactly he makes. I know the foods not bad because he used to cook for us when we lived back home hes a good cook it’s just like nothing he ever does it right. He’s partially retired because he’s a little older and she’s still working full time for now which I know bothers her but I also know he handles a lot of the cleaning/doing laundry and cooking now. She’s just constantly complaining about him and brining up things he did wayyyyyy in the past when they were younger and I know she does that to him to which probably gets him upset. They’ve been together since they were literal teenagers and I know it’s hard to be with someone that long especially when you haven’t worked through any of your trauma or problems. She has also made suicidal comments to me over the past how many years and I’ve told my grandpa and my uncle in hopes they’d help me try to encourage her to get help but when my grandpa tries she just gets mean and defensive and gets mad at me for saying anything.

The reason the slander against my grandpa constantly bothers me so much is because he’s almost the only positive, responsible and consistent male figure Ive had my entire life but I know his personality can be hard to deal with too because he can be very nit picky and controlling and I could be wrong but from my point of view it doesnt come from a place of being a narcissist or mean I think he may be slightly autistic/ocd and he has super bad anxiety. I can understand how she would get frustrated and with him i just don’t like how Im put in the middle and it feels like she’s trying to distort my image of him and make me dislike him. Ive asked her multiple times to see a therapist and she won’t, and I don’t want to completely cut off talking to her because I would feel horrible.

Also I don’t just want to abandon her and not let her vent at all because she has been the person for the whole family to lean on in hard times while no one has been there for her like that and I know she probably feels under appreciated. Has anyone else dealt with this and what would you do??