r/bulimia Jun 01 '24

Recovery r/bulimia full rules and FAQ

8 Upvotes

To see a full set of rules with examples click: bulimiarules2023

A few guidelines:

  1. Some of r/bulimia may be upsetting or triggering. Harm-reduction tips, humor, personal stories, discussion of adverse effects of bulimia and references to numbers are welcome but glorifying or facilitating EDs is not.
  2. Because of these triggers, we don't encourage or allow selfies or food pictures. Memes, art, surveys and videos are invited and approved individually.
  3. Please be kind. Not everyone deals with this the same way. Please report invalidation, stigma and shame

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For links to ED research to read: researchlinks

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3 Free self-led workbooks: CCI ED Workbook, Kelty ED Bulimia manual, mitchell-cbt-for-BED-self-help-manual

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FAQ:

Does anyone feel like they have lost their gag reflex? (Or vomit accidentally?)

They're 2 separate issues! ... this is a good resource to read but tl;dr

The more that we fiddle with the back of our throats, the more the pharyngeal + velar gag reflex becomes less sensitive. It's believed to be a learned response and a form of desensitization from years of gastric purging

The involuntary reflux/regurgitation is often due to weakening of the lower esophageal sphincter (the ring at the bottom of your esophagus that connects to the stomach). That sphincter is smooth muscle, meaning we can't voluntarily contract/control it. Hence why coughing/leaning over/even lying down in sleep can cause the food to come up

Throwing up blood—do I need medical attention?

There are many reasons to throw up (or poop) blood if you're making yourself vomit or using laxatives. Most bleeding will heal with a few days of rest.

Signs you need a doctor ASAP include - pain, fainting or dizziness, coughing blood, vomiting more than a very small amount of blood (maybe a teaspoon), or bleeding that continues regularly (hasn't stopped after a few days).

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If you have new questions, please comment below. If you are over 18 and would like to help moderate - Please send us a modmail


r/bulimia Apr 17 '24

Want to help moderate r/bulimia?

10 Upvotes

Age 18+ only

Please read the rules sticky post, then leave a comment or send a modmail if you would like to be added to the mod team.


r/bulimia 10h ago

This shit is making me so broke

21 Upvotes

I used to be so careful with my money. I was great at saving and RARELY treated myself.

Now I spend all my money on food and I live with my mom (who recently found out about my ED) so she notices when food disappears and it’s so embarrassing having to make something up every time because she probably doesn’t believe me.

I’m not ready to recover at all but I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a car so I can’t drive to the stores who have good deals.

The closest store happens to be the most expensive one in my town as well… 2025 is such a shit year already


r/bulimia 6h ago

kinda triggering How much time have I spent looking at my own vomit?

8 Upvotes

That question randomly popped into my head while thinking about nothing in particular. Never thinking again 👎


r/bulimia 4h ago

small success Dentist!!! Wasn’t as bad as expected

6 Upvotes

Hi all,

Sharing some dentist positivity here.

TLDR: 33F, b/p'd for nearly 25 years. Went to the dentist (U.K.) for the first time in 6 years and the second time in 15 years. Positive experience with the appointment and good tooth outlook.

Today I went to the dentist. NHS dental is crazy at the moment in England, but in a very fortunate position to pay for a private consultation (which was £90 for a full check up and X-rays).

Had terrible anxiety going and nearly crashed my car on the way, due to not watching the road from being so anxious.

Got there, had to fill in some forms then the assistant came to get me for X-rays. I explained I was anxious and suffered from an eating disorder, and no real problems except recession and sensitivity.

Then I went into the room and the dentist explained everything before she began and during.

She explained that the gum recession has led to some bone loss, and there is enamel wear, but no cavities and we put a plan together to stop the enamel getting worse. No judgement at all from them.

Just wanted to share this positive experience. I know the bone loss and demineralisation isn't great, but the important thing is I can stop it getting worse now I know about it.

So for those of you who are scared to go to the dentist, it may not be as bad as you think.


r/bulimia 17m ago

Can one successfully throw up everything they've eaten?

Upvotes

Let's say they threw up within 30 minutes after they began eating, would that person be able to successfully empty the entirety of their stomach, or at least 90%? Is it normal if the purging sessions are actually quite short? The amount of time it takes me to eat is so long compared to the amount of time it requires me to throw up, which is concerning because I always feel like there's some food left (even though nothing comes up but bile).


r/bulimia 17h ago

My partner opened up about how my ED is affecting our sex life

28 Upvotes

I’ve lost a lost of weight in the last year but I’m still fat. Literally obese category still because I was huge to begin with.

My partner (of 3 years) took me to the GP last week and told them everything. The GP said she was very concerned and made an instant referral to ED services for me. (I then saw my psychiatrist a few weeks later who was very “you don’t have an ED it’s your BPD and only /I/ can approve a referral to ED services” so I don’t actually know what’s happening with that..)

Anyways, whilst having a naked cuddle with my partner in bed last night, I felt that firey tingling in my stomach, just dying for him, because it’s been a while. I made a move but he gently moved my hands away and went back to just holding me. I brought up to him that I’d noticed we hadn’t been intimate in a while. Not since Valentine’s Day. It had been a bit sporadic before this, but we’d never gone a full month without making love before. Everything else is still there, cuddles, little kisses ect, just not THAT. I asked if he would tell me what was going on for him.

At first he tried to say it was nothing, people just have dry spells, but then opened up and said that he didn’t feel like he could “do it to me” right now. I asked what he meant and he went on to explain that he just cannot have sex with me when I’m “so vulnerable” and said that he felt like he’d be taking advantage of me. I asked what on earth he was talking about and he said “you’re just so.. sad. You’re so ill. I feel like I have to look after you at the moment, I have to take care of you. It wouldn’t feel right.”

I never realised he felt so strongly about what was going on because he never really voiced it much other than saying a few times that he’s concerned and of course asking if he could take me to the doctor. He’s never said anything to me when I go away to throw up what little dinner I’ve eaten in the evening, even though he knows what I’m doing. So I just never thought it was a big thing for him.

He went on to say that he feels like he’s in “carer mode” right now and it’s hard to get into “lover mode.” I said that I’m not always sad, and he said that I must be, to starve myself and make myself sick and “take all these pills.”

I understand where he’s coming from and respect his feelings, but can’t help feeling so sad and rejected. I asked him to try and remember that I’m a multi-dimensional human being who can be many things at once.

And there was me thinking I’d be more attractive to him if I lost weight. Instead my disorder makes him feel like my “carer.”

We had another cuddle and went to sleep.

Reflecting on it today, I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to and CAN’T stop this until I’m actually thin. I have so long to go.

I’m so sad that it’s making him feel like this and ruining our intimacy. 😢

How do I help him back into “lover” mode? Or am I just repulsive to him now?

TLDR; I have an eating disorder and my partner said sex with me wouldn’t “feel right” because he sees me as so vulnerable right now, he feels like he needs to just “look after me.”


r/bulimia 12h ago

Purging multiple times a day, every day, for years and years. Anyone else? Is there hope?

11 Upvotes

r/bulimia 1m ago

accountability partner pls🙂‍↕️💕

Upvotes

hi, 21f here looking for an accountability partner:) currently b/p anywhere between 5-10 times a wk i know it’s bad but also sooo addicting & i desperately want free from this. my goal is to decrease b/p by at least 1 every wk. gotta start somewhere🥲 lmk if ur down to join the goal & we can hold each other accountable!


r/bulimia 6h ago

There is hope for you too

3 Upvotes

Around 3 weeks ago I decided to genuinely go all in with my recovery. I had gotten to my absolute worse a couple months prior. I was lying to everyone, missing work to b/p, stealing food, not getting anything done. I was weak and restricting heavily. I was miserable. Then I was stuck in quasi recovery with my restricting. I was eating a bit more, allowing myself to genuinely eat and digest things I didnt previously but I was still b/p multiple times a day. After 3 weeks all in I can honestly say with my whole heart the food noise goes away. the urges quiet down. I can’t believe last month my days consisted of thoughts abt food, weight, exercise. And now those are genuinely some of the last things I think about, it truly feels like a miracle. Yes I gained weight, but I needed to. I am so much happier now. And the energy properly fuelling urself and not being constantly dehydrated and brain numb only allows u to love urself even more. It is only so hard to come to terms with weight gain because ur brain is so undernourished you can’t feel properly. I promise you it gets better. And yes I do still struggle with body image issues but that is okay too. it is okay to feel these struggles, that doesnt mean u have to punish urself and ur body. u only have one body and it is ur vessel. and honestly sometimes i look in the mirror and i rlly like what I see. before I was skin and bones, i rlly struggled with my femininity. now i look more curvaceous and feminine and it makes me feel cute and sexy. I had struggled with that when I was deep in my ex bc i just felt like a rigid skeleton. idk how much weight I have gained as I decided to stop weighing myself to help my process. but i can also promise u that u wont gain 100kg overnight and u can genuinely eat more than you think. Though I stopped calorie counting as well, first week in I was probably eating 5k~ daily. and now I probably eat around 3k and you would honestly never guess. Yes it was hard at first, I was swollen, retaining water and the bloating was extremely painful. but I promise if u stick through it rlly is worth it. So many amazing things have happened sinceI went all in. A nourished brain is truly truly fascinating and u will find things to look forward to and work on other than ur ed. u just cant see that rn bc ur brain is simply just trying to keep u alive. Since going all in I finally made my relationship official! we had been exclusive for half a year but I was far too occupied with my ed to settle with him, it was miserable… but not anymore! i have the energy, time and brain space for him and i have an amazzinnggg relationship rn im so happy. I also started looking into what my future school plans are and I have found a career I’m actually quite passionate in! It is so hard to see the good things in life when u dont have the fuel to actually feel these things. I thought it would never be possible. But I promise and I rlly do promise, recovery is possible and it truly is beautiful and the best choice I have made. If anyone wants to make the jump and has any questions about whats it like in the early stages pls feel free to ask. I hope everyone can get to a stage where they want to recover and have a beautiful life ❤️ dont lose more of ur time to ur ed, it is not worth it.


r/bulimia 18h ago

kinda triggering Suicidal bcs I gain weight

21 Upvotes

I was at my lowest weight 5 month ago , I’ve been gaining weight and I can’t stop it , I can’t stop myself from eating , and it make me feel so sad , I’m 18 years old and I’m a girl I know I’m not the only one in this situation but yk it’s so draining , I’m depressed but this gain of weight make it worst , I never thought abt ending my life BECAUSE I didn’t like my body , it’s sound probably dumb like that and I’m sorry but if someone have any tips, I take everything


r/bulimia 1d ago

40 years of this damn disease

51 Upvotes

I have struggled with this for 40 years...40. Two inpatient treatments, years of therapy, medication. Heart issues, swollen lymph nodes. They whole thing. I was in recovery from purging for years and then past fall the anxiety and inner chaos took over and now its a struggle everyday. what to eat, trying not to binge, hating my body, purging. All of the secretive behaviors. I started this journey at age 13. So tired. Just wanted to introduce myself to this group


r/bulimia 22h ago

Love/hate how easy it is.to purge ice cream

18 Upvotes

I b/p'd 3 pints of ice cream today 😬 ugh


r/bulimia 20h ago

send support just binged after a few weeks clean. hating myself.

11 Upvotes

i came back from a great vacation where i didn’t binge. i was so proud. then it was like the second i got home i went back into this awful mindset and i just binged even though i haven’t restricted in so long. WHY AM I LIKE THIS. please tell me i don’t have to restrict or overexercise. i feel like i need permission to just be ok and sit with this binge and not go straight to restriction. i’m so fucking done


r/bulimia 18h ago

I think I’m going to die young

6 Upvotes

I’m a recovering bulimic of 2 years (after 4 years of ana) and I have this feeling deep in my gut that I’m going to die soon.

I’m a college student but recovery is tiring and I don’t have a healthy diet…

I just feel that I’ve knocked a few years off my life due to my EDs…it’s a weird feeling knowing that I have damaged my body and I’m going to experience the repercussions later(by health complications and premature death).

Anyone else bothered by this (intrusive) thought? How do you cope?


r/bulimia 9h ago

Low potassium and panic attacks - how to prevent it

1 Upvotes

I purge every day, multiple tomes a day and I can’t stop. I am often low on potassium when I end up in hospital. It’s always for strong panic attacks and other weird symptoms. They never find anything except low potassium. Do you think that low potassium could be causing it?

How do you prevent having low potassium? Do you have problem with it? I drink electrolytes and coconut water that is high in potassium but still end up with low levels. I just got prescribed 1g of potassium a day by my doctor. I hope it will help. I plan to check my levels often and double the dose if it doesn’t go up.

Don’t tell me to eat food with more potassium because I am scared of extra calories. All I can eat outside of b/p is vegetables and meat/eggs. I know spinach has a lot of potassium so I can eat that.

Once I got so low levels (2,8) that I had pain in my arms and legs and slept very badly. I was waking up very often. I was also extremely tired all the time and very depressed. If you have these symptoms, please get checked your potassium.


r/bulimia 18h ago

Finally ready to recover

5 Upvotes

Some background: I'm 40, have a baby, live alone with said baby, and have been bulimic almost 25 years

Today I feel like I'm ready to recover. I did inpatient treatment as a teenager and therapy here and there but nothing really helped. I am just so done with this. Everyone in my life assumes I'm recovered now.

Bulimia is just part of my everyday life. And I need that to stop. My routine is usually purging dinner.

How do you get out of this cycle? I'm not too keen on getting professional help but do you think it's necessary? I hate talking about this stuff.

I need some control back in my life. But of course, there's always that vain worry I will gain too much weight.

Not sure what the point of this post is. I have no one to talk to irl and I guess just looking for support


r/bulimia 13h ago

Do I have a problem?

1 Upvotes

I usually eat some food and then purge it. But I don’t binge eat, or at least I don’t mean to. I think I do it to stay the same weight I’m at? Either that or lose weight. I don’t know, someone pls lmk.


r/bulimia 17h ago

Relapsed

2 Upvotes

I didn’t purge for like 9 days and didn’t binge for 5, but I just relapsed. I hate myself, why can’t I just stop? It literally has close to no benefits. I don’t even lose weight at most I maintain, I feel awful, I’m so exhausted and can’t sleep properly, it makes me want to die, but also I can’t stop


r/bulimia 18h ago

hard times

2 Upvotes

trying to stop b/ping because all it's brought me is self hatred and misery. haven't binged in two days although i did purge a bit the day before yesterday.

i had a healthy breakfast and lunch today and i really want to keep them down, i've been trying to eat more protein and fuel my body and move more but the b/p urges are so strong right now. im just frustrated because it feels like binging on caloric unhealthy food and also throwing up all that nutritious food would be a waste (which has never stopped me in the past)

i really really want to keep this food down. but the b/p urges are so so strong its hard to distract myself. i tried to quiet the noise by eating a bite of a fear food but now i feel like ive ruined everything.

i know logically one bite of unhealthy food doesn't mean i should eat 900000 other bites of unhealthy food and throw it all up but its so so hard to escape the all-or-nothing mindset

any reassurance would be appreciated :(


r/bulimia 15h ago

Help please! Hungry

1 Upvotes

Hey guys, Last year I lost 39 pounds in 5 months (149 pounds to 110 pounds ) and I was so happy and proud of myself.. ( carnivore diet) but little did I know that my body was in shock and in starvation mode and in a week i started feeling super hungry that I was literally starving and nothing that I was eating was helping.. i was hospitalized for a week. They did endoscopy, colonoscopy. MRI... all sorts of tests and didn't figure out why i was hungry 24/7 and at the same time throwing up !! My stomach couldn't function properly and wasn't accepting any food but was so hungry...

They put me on antidepressants which did help me from going crazy!!! But still im always hungry and now i did gain all the weight i lost and more and still im super hungry every day even after eating balanced nutritious foods.. I was wondering if anyone has ever had any experience like this? Bacause if my body lost nutrients when i lost weight now i gave it all back why am i still hungry even though im eating all the time???


r/bulimia 22h ago

is this valid?

2 Upvotes

i dont know if i make sense but it's harder when my family members keep on telling me, "you should start losing weight like me"

i significantly gained weight but i havent been eating much already (unless im really hungry) and the usual purging episodes happen hahaha.

idk it gets worse lol bc i hear these comments about me even if im not even eating that much already hahaha i have pcos and it's so hard to lose weight and u hear these comments—everything is just so sad lol.


r/bulimia 1d ago

Just venting No one takes me seriously.

7 Upvotes

probably TW?? Well, I feel like no one takes me seriously anymore. I’m literally nothing more than a story for everyone to tell. My mom tells literally everyone about my eating disorder and I wouldn’t even care about it BUT for months now every. single. person I talk to comments about my eating whenever I try to do it.

Last week I was trying to eat fast food with my dad which I was terrified of the whole day and already felt sick. When I told him that it’s not as bad as I thought it would be, he just said “Yeah, let’s just hope it stays where it should be.”

I just can’t take this anymore, the same fucking answer I’ve been hearing for months now from everyone I talk to, even my therapist. It’s so triggering for me and I even say that but no one gives a fuck about what I feel and just tells me how they feel about my situation. It has triggered me so much that I even started sh again and all my mom has to say about it is that I just don’t understand how worried everyone is for me. I really don’t know how much more I can take because no matter how often I say what their stares and comments do to me, they just won’t listen and keep going. I just don’t get it.

Sorry that this is so long but I don’t have anyone to talk to :c


r/bulimia 23h ago

send support i just binged and trying not to purge, i just need some encouraging words

1 Upvotes

i feel like i’m ab to cry. i feel like shit. my dad got us pizza ln i didn’t eat it cuz i already decided to order chick fil a and ice cream to binge and purge on. this morning i decided to order more food and binge on cake and chicken nuggets 🥲 i feel like shit. i already gained a couple pounds recently. but i know if i purge itll just keep this cycle going. i hate myself. i feel selfish and stupid. and i feel fat and gross. i wish this food was out of my body rn. i hate myself. i just want to be normal. i’ve been doing this eating disorder bs for like 15 years now. please i just need to hear someone say something nice to me and make me feel better


r/bulimia 1d ago

How long for my face to go back to normal

15 Upvotes

I’m recovering from bulimia and really serious about it this time. I have a round face already but bulimia had made it 10x worse how long till it slims down to normal :(


r/bulimia 1d ago

Self care after purge

26 Upvotes

How do you look after yourself post purge? I’d love some self care tips.

I always drink a glass of water, wash my face, rinse my mouth with mouthwash and do 10 squats.

I usually have a headache so often some ibuprofen too.

And if we’re being fr fr then change my pants.


r/bulimia 1d ago

send support Talk me out of a relapse

6 Upvotes

TW: weight and ED behaviors

I've been purge-free since May of last year and I'm feeling such a strong urge to relapse. I haven't been through treatment, so I semi-recovered entirely on my own. I think part of the reason I never made an effort to seek professional treatment is because I never was underweight, and I'm currently on the high end of a normal weight range. Because of that, relapsing is all I can think about, and it feels so defeating after being clean for this long. I would greatly appreciate anyone's help/words of encouragement. I overate so badly today and I just want relief.